And It All Comes Down to the iPod
by Amaya Sakaruta
Summary: Mari is a strong believer in the maxim, "When life gives you lemons, make grape juice and let the world wonder." But this time life went the extra mile and gave her the Akatsuki. Not Mary-Sue. Songfic OC HS AU
1. Advice From A Prick

**Yes, this will be another generic high school AkatsukixOC fic. I'm sorry for being cliché, but I'll try and make it actually interesting to read. Plus getting rid of some of the annoying things I've read in them so far…Anyways, I love reading fics like these, and I figured I should try and write one too.**

**I've gone back, revising some earlier chapters for my own purposes. Sorry if this sends everyone's story notifications into high-alert. Feel free to ignore all this.**

**Please review!**

_Kiss me_(you're all I'm wanting)

_Kill me_(this feelings haunting)

_Your kiss is torture_

_But killing me would be too easy_

If there's a better way to start the day than with a badass song like that, I don't wanna know what it is.

I press 'pause' on my iPod, roll the earplug wires up around it, throw off my covers, and roll out of bed, flopping belly-first onto the floor. "I hate school," I moan. "I hate school, I hate people, I hate school…"

Okay, not exactly true. Middle school sucked -especially seventh grade- but high school's better. If my first semester was anything to judge by, school won't be nearly as torturous as it was a few years ago. _I've changed a lot since then,_I think, chuckling at the memory of the twelve-year-old me. Bookwormy and idealistic, but getting sent to the principal's office way more than even the 'bad' kids, cuz I was reckless and pigheaded. _And in some ways,_ I think, _I haven't changed at all._

I groan and push myself up, stretching like a cat.

_We just_had _to move,_ I grumbled, more out of instinct than actually being mad. Honestly I like a new adventure, a new challenge. Still, for the first time in my fourteen-going-on-fifteen-year-old life I'd felt accepted and happy with my peer group -without changing anything about myself to do it.

And then we moved.

I grin. _Life's a bitch._

I grope the ground for my clothes. When I find them, I put them on in the dark. No need to rush into the light of day too quickly. It'd be harmful to my system.

When I'm dressed I stumble over to the light switch -hitting my shin on the way ("OW! GODDAMMIT!")- place an arm over my eyes, and flip it on. I hesitantly remove my arm from my face, blinking until I'm used to the light.

I do my hair, eyeliner, find my stuff, blah blah blah…and then took a look in the mirror to check myself out.

My jet black hair's in a high ponytail over my head with my long bangs in front of my left eye. I note, satisfied, that you can still see the streaks of red in my ponytail and bangs. My eyeliner goes out and up a little from my eyes. I'm wearing black combat boots, red baggy cargos, held up by a belt decorated with grey bullets. My shirt is a skintight biker's shirt, black with an upside-down triangle from the collarbone to the ribs of straight tears with a red tank top under it. Finally, my leather jacket with a zillion buttons on it.

I grin and decide that I look moderately hot and seriously badass.

I put the headphones in my ears and the iPod in my coat pocket, pressing play and jamming out to Mest. "See ya!" I call to my still-asleep parents and brothers as I go outside to the garage to get my Harley to ride to school.

…I wish.

Yeah, no way I actually have a Harley. I'm only fourteen, remember? Plus, we'd never be able to afford it. What I really have is a purple bike. Whoopee. But I WILL get a Harley one of these days, just you wait!

I jump on my bike and start the ride across town to Leaf High.

Okay. This school is unlike anything I've ever seen.

As soon as I saw the four-story building, I sweatdropped. It looks more like a fancy museum than a high school.

_There is no way my dumb fantasy story was good enough to get a scholarship here,_I think immediately. _I must have the wrong place._But then again, how many schools called Leaf High can there be in this town?

I look around for a bike rack, only to find that there are none. I guess rich kids have no use for lowly instruments such as bicycles. I see a parking lot with waht appears to be valet parking, but no bike rack.

After considering for a moment, I jump back on my bike and ride over the plush green grass toward the parking lot.

"Hey," I say, riding toward a random dude and pulling on the brakes at the very last second, making an awesome screeching sound as I stopped straight in front of him. (Hey, that was actually pretty cool. Go, me) The dude -spiky blonde hair, cerulean blue eyes, maybe an inch shorter than me- jumps. "Where do the commoners put their modes of transportation?"

He blinks before breaking out into a grin. "Hey, you're the kid who got in on scholarship, huh?"

Now it's my turn to blink. "How do you know about that?"

"They announced it. It's not very often we get a scholarship student for something creative."

I raise an eyebrow, but decide to let it slide. Maybe knowing who's a scholarship student is a rich people thing. "Ah. Well, do you know where I can put my bike?"

"Yeah, over in the garages. Come on! I'll show you!" And with that, the kid runs off toward the parking lot.

I sweatdropped again before putting the pedal to the metal to keep up with the kid. _Damn, he can run fast!_I think. He's running like a crazy SOB toward these garages.

He skids to a stop, making me do the same and consequently almost go flying off my bike. "Here it is!" he chirps.

After catching my breath, I look at the garage he's pointing at. Inside is a shiny-looking, empty bike rack.

"Hey, thanks," I say, jumping off my bike.

"No problem!" he says happily and waves. "See ya!"

As he starts to run off, I make a quick decision. "Hey, wait up, will ya?"

He stops, looks at me, and grins. "Sure!"

That's the first time I notice the whisker birth marks on his cheeks. It's not, however, the first time I notice his insane happiness and energy levels. This kid might be the human impersonation of RedBull.

"Thanks," I say again as I grab my bike chain out of my backpack and chain up my bike.

"So, what's this school like?" I ask him as we start to walk back to the school.

He shrugs happily. "Pretty good, I guess. people aren't as snobby as you'd think, for the most part. And the ramen they serve in the cafeteria? It's amazing!"

"They serve ramen here?" I exclaim in surprise. "All the served at my old school was whole wheat bread!" Okay, not exactly true, but there sure as hell wasn't any ramen.

"No ramen?" the boy asks, looking horrified. I'm pretty sure he's not kidding. "That's a from of neglect."

I laugh. "I know, right? Ramen's the shit!"

"Totally! High five!"

We high five, grinning.

"So what's your name?" he asks.

"Mari. You?"

"Naruto. Wanna sit with me and my buds at lunch?"

I grin. "Sure!"

We chatter on about bands and the horrible unavailability of ramen as we continue towards the school.

Twenty minutes later, after a whirlwind tour of Leaf High -courtesy of Naruto, of course- and a trip to the almost scarily ritzy main office, I have my schedule and room number for my first class: Science, Hatake, Room 324. "Alrightyo," I say as I fold my green schedule into my jacket pocket. "Room 324."

However, it turns out to be a big freakin' deal just to navigate a bathroom in this school. My awe at how rich-looking the school is being rapidly replaced by a heartfelt wish that they just kept the damn room numbers simple.

"324, 324...where the HELL is 324?" I ask myself, getting more and more frusterated. I'm the only one in the halls so far, as most of the other kids seem to be eating breakfast, but when they do get here I don't want to be caught looking like a tool who can't find her way to her first class.

"Third floor, yeah."

I jump at the unsuspected voice coming from behind me, resisting my immediate urge to jump backward and make karate-chop hands at the sudden noise. I turn around to see a blonde-haired girl -with her hair annoyingly in the same style I wear mine but with longer bangs- chuckling at my reaction and whoa, hold everything...

Is this the guy who just talked?

I decide to check. "Um, what?"

"Room 324's on the third floor, un. Learn to listen." Yup, same voice. This dude is insanely girly.

And, apparently, he's also a prick.

I narrowed my eyes. "Learn how to not look like a drag queen."

His one visible eye narrows a bit. "Come again?"

Now the girly-man looks kinda mad, and a teeny bit threatening, but I'm not backing down. "You look like Boobless Barbie," I answer.

"And you look like a gothic hooker," he responds, leaning against a wall in that 'how-cool-am-i' way and smirking at me. No, _leering_at me. "And if I were you, I'd learn real quick not to be messing with me." His face was smug, like he was daring me to fight back and positive I wouldn't.

I cock my head to the side and grin back. "Thanks for the advice...prick."

The dude raises an eyebrow at me. "Oh, so you're a tough girl, huh?"

What was weird is, if anyone else had said it, it would've been cool, friendly, even. But the way he said it...it was mocking, condescending, challenging, and...something else I'm not even sure I want to define.

"Damn straight," I answer. "What's it matter to you?"

"It doesn't." He gets bounces his body lazily off the wall and starts to turn away.

Figuring he was leaving, I turn in the opposite direction, planning to head to the third floor -hey, advice from a prick is better than no advice at all- when suddenly my back gets slammed into the wall. My head hits it and I wince, sure I'll get a bump there tomorrow.

It's Mr. Prick, holding me to the wall with a forearm against my chest. (Not _boobs_chest, minds out of the gutter.) He is now smirking, his face inches from mine. "And you'd better hope it stays that way, too. Because the very moment it starts to matter..."

Before he can finish the threat, I give him an uppercut to the jaw as hard as I can -which is pretty hard. I've been in kickboxing since I was ten.

His head flies backwards and his arm comes off my chest, enough for me to land a better punch to his stomach. He bends over, clutching his stomach.

"Don't you ever fucking touch me again, dipshit," I say, before taking a couple steps away. This guy's only a few inches taller than me, but a little goes a long way. "And don't worry. It won't matter."

I'm walking away when I hear his somewhat freaky answer. "Too late."

**Okay, this is more of a preview chapter than anything else. It wasn't very funny or anything, but trust me, I have plans for funniness later on. It will happen. I just wanna know...do you like the character? Would anyone want to read a fic like this, even though it's pretty much been written a million times before? If I do end up writing more for this it probably won't be a priority since it's such a generic theme for an Akatsuki fic...anyways, feedback would be appreciated!**

**-Amy out**


	2. I'm One of Those People

**Hey…I deleted the first chapter and uploaded it again with some stuff fixed. It also meant I lost the couple of reviews, but I want my story to be as good as possible. Thanks blackcatgirl for pointing out the problem with the tense.**

**And, holy sugarballs, I can't believe I got so many favorite story/story alerts for that one chapter! I decided to write a whole new chapter immediately, just because of how damn happy that made me. I love you guys :DDDD DOUBLE CHINS! Alright, moving on...**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.**

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><p>They <em>would <em>be going over Sex Ed in Biology on the first day I attend Leaf High.

It's sixth period, after a delicious and entertaining lunch with Naruto and his group of friends. It was all very hectic, which comforted me because I love chaos. I thrive in chaos. (I also thrive while eating a delicious lunch of ramen, French fires and a milkshake. Mmm.)

Anyways, now lunch is over and I'm sitting in the back of the class watching some brave, brave teacher draw a diorama of a vagina on the board. Yeah, that's what _I_ said, but apparently Leaf High's a 'progressive' school. It's insanely awkward, and the kid sitting next to me isn't making things any easier. He's tall, with silver slick-backed hair. He's also super hot, and seems to think that justifies him acting like a total douche bag. He keeps chuckling and leering at all females in the area. Including yours truly.

Anyone with half a brain cell would know this was not the time to draw attention to myself, but after fifteen minutes of this I lose my temper and open my big mouth. "Could you not do that?"

His eyes look directly into mine, and I notice they're purple. Cool. "Do what, bitch?"

"Stare at all the chicks. It's creeping us out."

A couple other girls turn and look at us, wide-eyed, before turning straight around to look at the board again, like they don't want to get involved. What a bunch of pansies.

"No one else is saying anything about it, bitch."

"Well good for them, but it creeps me out. And please stop calling me 'bitch'."

"Bitch," he says immediately, smirking.

I glare at him. "Do you _want _to die, asshole?"

He raises an eyebrow at me, before his smirk morphs into a mocking grin. "Can't wait to see this."

Apparently he doesn't think I can do jackshit.

So I stomp on his foot, hard. He's wearing trendy rich-guy open-toed sandals, and I'm wearing combat boots, so trust me: it hurts.

His eyes widen. "What the fuck!"

"I asked you nicely not to call me that," I say. Now it's my turn to smirk. "With me, you get one warning. And then I stomp on your foot."

Now people are seriously starting to stare, even though we're not particularly being loud. My guess is this guy acts like a tough bully all the time, always trying to intimidate people, so they're all scared of him. Therefore, they're shocked to see a girl standing up to him.

I _hate _people like that.

I look him straight in the eye, even as I see him getting more and more pissed. "That was a fucking mistake, girlie."

"Save it," I tell him. "I don't scare easy."

His pissed expression slowly evolves into one that's just plain evil. He leans toward me slowly, and it takes every ounce of my willpower not to shrink away -but I'm not about to give him the satisfaction of seeing me squirm, no way in hell- until he's literally inches away from my face "You will soon enough," he promises in a low, chilling, and weirdly intimate voice.

I tilt my head and say, in the same low tone of voice, "Your breath stinks."

He snorts and leans back in his chair, looking pissed.

I return my attention to the board, and it's not until then that I realize my heart is beating fast. This irritates me, because it makes that implies I was scared of this guy.

The kids all around me are staring at me with varying degrees of shock, so I try to make sure I look relaxed, even bored. I don't want to look flustered about this.

At this point the teacher has moved on to the topic of Safe Sex. "Unprotected sex can lead to STDs and pregnancy, so if you're going to have sex you should use a condom."

_Gee, I've always wanted a teacher I've never met to give me advice on my nonexistent sex life._

"Now, we understand that many of you may be too embarrassed to ask your parents to buy protection for you. Therefore, we've chosen to supply you with them ourselves."

"_We"? "Our"? You're the only guy up there, are you a schizophrenic or something? _I think, before I notice the teacher has given a kid in front a cardboard box. I watch as the boy takes a couple small plastic things out of the box, and passes it along.

Holy…Are those what I think they are?

Judging by the kids' laughter and horseplay...Yep.

Whoa. They're actually handing out condoms to high schoolers.

It's not until now that I notice silver-haired-boy is chuckling over my reaction. I scowl and look out the window, trying to look as if I couldn't care less.

After a short pause, I hear the boy clear his throat loudly. I turn to look at him just as he nearly shouts, "Hey, save some for the back row! This hooker next to me's gonna need a shitload!"

I feel my face burn as the kids laugh, Asshole grins at me, and I desperately try to come up with a comeback. I come up with a decent one just as they quiet down a bit. "He's just mad you aren't handing out penis enlargement cupons," I say, just as loud as he did, looking him straight in the face as I did.

He looks like he's about to blow a gasket as the class busts up laughing and 'oooo'-ing. (From this I gather that the rest of the class doesn't like him much, seeing as the joke wasn't all _that _funny. It was just a dumb 'tiny dick' jab.) Surprisingly, he doesn't say anything, just gives me a Glare of Pure Hatred.

I look back up to the board, not wanting to look at the homicidal-looking boy. I refuse to let myself feel nervous. He started it, and besides, bullies are almost always phonies and cowards.

We don't speak to each other for the remainder of the period, although at one point I see him lean down and tie his shoe, for some reason. Other than that, we don't look at each other or even move much.

When the bell finally rings, I pick up my backpack and stand up as a buzz of voices fills the room. I head out the door, avoiding the boy's outstretched foot trying to trip me (way too obvious for my somewhat-ninja-like skills of knowing when a certain dickhead will try to trip you) and forcing myself not to rush out the door.

I get seventh period off, so I decide to go check out the library and see if it really has a porn section or if Naruto was just screwing with my head. This, of course, immediately causes the problem of _finding _said library. I'm sure not about to ask someone for directions, after the horrible outcome last time.

When the tardy bell rings and the hallways clear up, I'm still searching with no clue as to where it might be other than that it's not through the door with a weird circle-and-arrow symbol on it -which turned out to be the 'male' symbol, as in, the boy's bathroom. _There's something creepy about being alone in a big hallway, _I think. Your footsteps echo all around the place, so that you'd swear there's someone else behind you, but when you turn around to look-

Holy shit it's the silver-haired guy from class.

He's walking about ten feet behind me, an amused expression on his face. "Damn, bitch, took you long enough. I coulda snuck right up and slit your fucking throat before you'da known I was here."

I blink, perplexed, before being able to summon a little anger. "Wh-what the fuck are you doing? Following me?"

"No shit."

"_Why?"_

"To tell you this." He takes four slow steps toward me, smirking that smirky smirk. "You're got spunk, bitch, but you don't know who you're messing with, walking into _our_ fucking school wearing _our _fucking colors and pissing off two Akatsuki in one day."

"Awhatski?" I ask, brain full of questions. Wearing whose colors? Two who? What-what-_what?_

"Akatsuki, stupidass." He leans against a locker, reminding me of the prick from earlier. (OMG -BRAIN BLAST! Was that kid the other 'Akatsuki' he's talking about?) "We're the most badass gang in Leaf High, and we don't take shit from poor little bitches like you."

"And I don't take shit from rich wannabe-gangsters like you."

He laughs. "You don't say. Hey, what's your name?"

I'm caught by surprise, both by the sudden change of topic and his lack of profanity in two whole sentences. "Why do you care?"

He gives me an irritated look. "Because I want to know your Jashin-damn name, is that all right with you?"

"Uh…Mari," I reply, inwardly thinking, _Jashin-damn? What the hell's a jashin? _Plus, I notice he asked if it was all right with me, albeit rudely, which seems to matter in some microscopic way. "You?"

"I'm Hidan, the Akatsuki's sex god."

I make a skeptical sound, even though I have to admit he's pretty damn hot. "Uh-huh."

"Hey, I'm a lot fucking sexier than you," he retorts.

"Is there a point to this conversation?" I ask, not wanting to get into an exchange of wit over who is sexier.

He thinks about it. "Oh yeah. Don't fucking wear black and red shit like that unless we give you our permission."

I can feel my jaw drop open, anger rushing through me. "Unless you give me _permission_?"

"Yeah. Black and red are _our _colors. Wearing them means you're on good terms with the Akatsuki. And your ass is _not._"

"I'll wear what I damn well want to," I tell him, temper flaring. "Any other order I won't follow?"

He leers at me. "Aw, you're standing up for yourself, trying to act brave. How cute."

I sputter. I'm not cute! I'm terrifying!

"Can't think of any smartass thing to say, bitch?"

"What is it with you and calling me bitch?"

"I think it's funny." He leans toward me. "No, strike that. It _is _funny."

I glare at him. "You want me to break another toe?"

He gives me another dangerous-looking leer and starts coming closer. This time I can't help myself and I step back, right into a soda machine. Before I can slip away Hidan plants an arm on each side of me, not touching me, but effectively creeping the shit out of me -not that I'd admit it. _Shit! _This has got to be the worst position to be in besides six feet under. I tense up, giving out the biggest don't-you-dare-touch-me vibe I can.

"You want me to break your fucking face?"

I wish I could tell you I didn't say anything nearly this dumb. But, for some reason, God made there be people out there who are incapable of backing down, no matter what the consequences. And I'm one of them. "Bring it."

He raises an arm and-

Tousles my hair?

…Huh?

"Damn, you're funny!" he laughs. "Most of the kids here are total pussies! I guess I'll cut you a little slack, because it's funny watching you squirm, and it's not like you can really _do _anything, anyways..."

That son of a bitch! "But the other Akatsuki won't take shit from you."

"Yeah, well, I doubt any of the other Aka-whatever are as big of a prick as you are," I say. Because blonde prick from this morning is nothing compared with this guy. I mean, is it even possible to be more of an asshole without punching a baby or something?

"Fair point. But also, remember my name. I've got a feeling we're going to be seeing a lot of each other…bitch." And he starts to walk away -finally.

_What a douche bag, _I think as I pull my jacket closer to my neck and turn to walk in the opposite direction, getting madder and madder. He acted like I was a fucking joke, like I was there for his entertainment. _For his entertainment! _That is unacceptable. The very idea make me want to punch a wall, scream and puck all at the same time. What makes him think he can-

_Whoa. Mira, stop, _I tell myself. _Calm down._

_Why should I? He DEGRADED me!_

_Because this is exactly how he WANTS you to feel._

That does the trick. I refuse to do what he may or may not want me to. I pull my iPod out and choose the loudest rock song with the most distracting music I can as I continue to search for the stupid library.

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><p>Okay, this was just uncalled for.<p>

You know how I said I saw Hidan lean down in Biology?

Well, he wasn't tying his shoe -_the bastard put like fifty condoms in my backpack!_

And in the part where I keep my pencils. So when I unzipped it in Math...

Yeah. Fucking hilarious. I don't care what he may or may not want.

I'm gonna get him.

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><p><strong>Ta daaa, a brand-new, long chapter, and within 48 hours! Yay...I'd really appreciate any and all feedback, guys. Thanks again to everyone who put this on their favorites and alerts. Please review right fucking now!<strong>

**-Amy out**


	3. The People Here Are So Great

**Damn, I'm just the uploudinest mother trucker this weekend, aren't I? Enjoy!**

**I don't own Naruto, or any of the lyrics used. The lyrics in chapter one are from Kiss Me Kill Me by Mest. The ones in this one are from You're Going Down and I Hate You, both by Sick Puppies.**

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><p><em>This is hardly worth<em>

_Fighting for_

_But it's a little petty shit_

_That I can't ignore!_

I love my iPod. _Sick Puppies are a freaking amazing band, _I think as I jam out to You're Going Down.

After school, as I'm walking toward the garage where my bike is locked up and jamming out with my faithful iPod, I see a couple of girls come up to me. One is maybe a little taller than me, blonde, and with a hateful expression on her face. The other is a good three inches shorter than me, with dark hair and insane amounts of eye makeup on. They both are wearing super-expensive, skanky clothes. I press pause and take the earphones out of my ears.

"What's up?" I ask as they walk up to me.

"Wanna fight?" the tall one asks, smiling evilly. What do you know, my iPod was right.

I raise an eyebrow. "Not particularly. Why?"

She looks a little taken aback by my casual response. "'Cuz I wanna fight you."

"Yeah, no shit, I pretty much guessed that," I say sarcastically. "You wanna tell me why that is?"

"Because," the shorter one speaks up angrily, "We saw you walking around this school like you're all badass, but all you are is-"

"Wait, let me guess," I say, holding up a hand. I grin, because I've wanted to tell off a girl like this for a long time, but never had the opportunity. "_This_ girl-" I point to the tall one. "-is the Queen Bee, and _this _girl-" I point to the shorter one. "-is her faithful sidekick. You guys like to bully other kids and act all delinquent, and you can't have anyone acting bigger and badder than you, huh?"

"Are you saying _you _are?" the tall one says, trying to look menacing. But all she achieves is to totally prove my point.

"Hell yes I am," I answer, enjoying how angry she looks. "If you need proof, just notice how you brought backup to approach me when I'm alone." I laugh. "Well, whatever floats your root beer. You can stay the Alpha Female or however the hell you wanna think of it, cuz I don't give a damn about that."

"You sure think you know a lot," she answers angrily. Aw, she's not used to people with backbone.

I laugh in her face. "That's because I _do. _You think you're the first Bad Girl I've met who wants to stay top dog? You think you're the first bitch who's wanted to fight me just to show off? And do you really think that you're the baddest of all of them?" She's seriously pissed now. Ha ha. "Dream on, rich girl. I've fought people who fight for their own survival on a daily basis, and won." Okay, I lose just about as often as I win, but she doesn't need to know that.

"So you think you can beat me?" she says, bracing herself for a fight.

"I couldn't care less if I can beat you or not," I say, straight to her face. Even though it's not true at all, I care intensely about whether I can do anything. "I don't have to go around humiliating others to feel big. In fact, I'm surprised you didn't bring a bigger crowd, so they would see it if you won. Or did you not want anyone to see you get beat?"

To my complete surprise, she looks briefly shocked, then somewhat embarrassed. No way, I was just smack-talking -was I _right? _"Holy shit, it's true, isn't it? Damn, you are one top-notch coward, Alpha Female."

That's when she takes a swing at me, but I was expecting it and I'm ready. I dodge it and punch her in the gut, right where it makes you lose your breath. She hits me in the face, but misses me nose and gets me on the cheek. It hurts, but when I'm in a fight I almost don't feel pain, only whether I'm winning or losing. And this time, I'm winning. I aim for her nose and don't miss. Her nose starts to bleed, just a little bit. Then she grabs my hair. "Oh fuck that," I say as I grab _her _hair, but not to pull it. I pull her head down hard as I bring my knee up, effectively kneeing her in the face three times. Not expert shots, not by a long shot, but it makes her let go of my hair.

We kick and punch and scratch, both getting in good punches. She's a good fighter, but she's fighting for reputation, and I'm fighting for pride. Anyone who knows me, knows that when I fight for my pride, I win or die trying. Besides, I'm already pissed from dealing with Hidan the Douche.

I swing my left leg behind hers and pull it towards me, pushing her as hard as I can with my hands. This doesn't always work, but I guess today is my lucky day. She falls down on her butt.

This is when the other girl tires to jump in, but I'm not falling for the same trick I did when I was eleven. When she's coming for me, I grab her before she can even land a punch and use her own momentum to throw her on top of her friend.

I take a step back. "Round two?"

The tall girl glares at me and stands up, but doesn't come up to me.

"Oh, good. I have a TV show I wanna catch." I smile at her, and she glares at me. "Don't worry, I'm not gonna tell anyone about this."

"You're an evil little bitch," she spits at me.

"You don't know the half of it," I tell her. "I've gotten my ass beat more times than you've even watched someone get _their _ass beat."

She's obviously surprised I'm willing to admit that. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"Everything. But if you don't understand that, I'm not gonna explain it."

"You're going down, you whore," she says, turning and walking away.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, good fight!" I call after her, and she gives me the finger.

I continue walking toward the garage, thinking, _That was just pure luck. I have to work on pretty much everything but my punches. I've gotten sloppy._

Okay, this whole scene probably makes me sound tougher and cooler than I actually am. I really have gotten my ass beat a grand majority of the times I've fought, it's just how badly that's been decreasing. In fact, the very first time I got in a fight, I was ten and got approached my three older girls. I refused to fight at all, and basically acted like a total wuss about it. The second time, I didn't react until the other girl had gotten in a couple of good hits, and I didn't take the opportunity to punch her when she was just slapping me, so it was kind of a draw. The third time, I just plain lost, although I might've won if I'd been prepared and she was fighting alone like I was. Anyways, the point is, that time was the worst. It took me weeks for my ego to recover. I saved up the money and enrolled myself in kickboxing, so that I would never be beaten like that again.

I know it's dumb, but for me being beaten hurts more than a broken nose.

I look around and notice, to my surprise and somewhat annoyance, that no one noticed the three-and-a-half minute fight going on. Most of the kids were hanging around acting cool in the gardens, or over getting their cars. Or maybe since this is a pretty big school, there's a fight pretty much every day and no one cares anymore?

_It doesn't matter_, I tell myself. _It's probably better this way. She won't feel as threatened if no one saw her lose. _Of course, I'm positive I haven't seen the last of my new friends. I have to admit I'm impressed she confronted me straight off without all the pussyfooting around girls seem to do, even if she had a really dumb reason to want to fight. In fact, she seems moderately hardcore. I'm surprised she walked away so quickly, she seems almost as stubborn as me.

People are so crazy sometimes. I can honestly say that this is the first time I've gotten in a fight on the first day of school, much less _won_ one. I still can't believe she challenged me before even knowing me. Like I said, she seems pretty hardcore, if not quite as tough as she'd have people think. I'd better be careful around her.

I finally get to the shed where I locked my bike up and turn the corner, to get one of the biggest heart attacks ever.

"Well, well, looks like I was right, un. You are a tough girl."

It's Blonde Prick from earlier, with that stupid smirk on the half of his face I can see. What the hell? "How long have you been here?" I snap.

"Since you told her she can stay top dog. I gotta say, it's about time someone beat her up, un."

I feel weirdly indignant that he saw that. And I don't know why, but his being so…_nice_ is irritating me, because it feels like he's somehow patronizing me. "Well, show's over now. Bye."

I step past him, but he grabs my wrist. "I beg to differ, un."

I pull my wrist away from him, but he holds on. "What the hell do you want?" I snarl.

"Do I have your attention now, un?" he says, smirking at me. And something about his arrogant attitude, his cocky expression, him holding my arm, and the remainders of adrenaline running through me makes butterflies fill my stomach. This irritates me beyond belief, because I am not a "butterflies-in-the-stomach" kind of girl. And if I was, I wouldn't be thrilled about having butterflies over _him. _

"Yeah. You're kind of forcing me to acknowledge you, after all."

"Good. Hey, your nose is bleeding, un."

"What?" I raise my other hand up to my nose and, sure enough, there's warm sticky stuff on my lower lip. How did I not notice until now? "Huh. It hardly hurts at all."

"That's the adrenaline, un. You might want to clean that up, it makes you look fugly."

I scowl. "Look, like I said earlier, I want to get home in time to watch the new Bleach episode. Is there a point to this, or did you just want to insult me?"

"Geez, Mari, can I not just want to have a conversation, un?"

"No, I don't trust you. And wait, how do you know my name?"

"Hidan told me. He thinks you're a riot, un."

I make a face, not appreciating being seen as a form of entertainment. "I'm fucking honored. And will you _let go of my arm?_"

He just laughs at me.

That's it.

I try to punch him in the stomach with my left hand, but apparently he doesn't fall for the same trick twice either. He catches my fist, and then -to my horror- holds on to that arm too.

And pulls me closer to him.

He opens his mouth to make another irritating comment, but I'm not interested in hearing it. I kick him hard, right in the knee.

His eye widens and his grip loosens. I wrench my arms away from him and slap him in the face.

"Didn't I _tell _you not to touch me?" I snap.

"Guess I didn't listen, un," he says, grinning at me. "You have no idea who I am, do you?"

"Other than that you're a girly-looking prick? No."

"Name's Deidara, and _I'm_ in the Akatsuki, un." He says this with such an irritating attitude, emphasizing 'Akatsuki' like he expects me to go apeshit about it.

I gasp dramatically. "Oh my gawd, did you hear that?" I say in a totally fangirl voice. Never mind that we're the only ones here. "He's in the _Akatsuki _and he's actually TALKING to me!"

He looks at me funny. "I've _been _talking to you, un."

"Holy shit he talked to me twice! Well this is DEFINETLY going in my DIARY as the most exciting day of my LIFE," I say, losing the 'fan girl' voice more and more until I practically spit the last word at him, making it clear that I don't give a damn what club he's in. "Now fuck off, Deidara-from-the-Akatsuki."

He scowls at me. "Watch your back, _tough girl,_" he says, somehow making those two words sound more insulting that anything I'd heard that day. "You'll learn to shut your mouth if you know what's good for you."

"You don't know me very well." I turn my back on him toward the garage, and I hear him walk away. Geez, that makes four people out to get me in one day. I am a piece of work, if nothing else. Being involved in that much conflict with little to no effort is one of my many interesting talents. Another is the ability to have inanimate objects run to place themselves strategically in front of me so that I'll trip and fall. Yup, I am one extraordinary girl.

Once Deidara's gone, I wipe of my face and stuff a piece of notebook paper in my nostril to stop the bleeding. Damn, that guy is annoying. He acts like he's the hottest thing since Pompeii. Even more irritatingly, he has this attitude like I'm here for his amusement.

_Me. _

For _his amusement._

I don't even attempt to keep my temper in check as I angrily unchain my bike and ride off over the grounds, ignoring all the "Please Keep Off Grass" signs. I stop only long enough to put my earphones back in my ears and select a song, again by Sick Puppies.

_I hate you when you're gone_

_I hate you turn me on_

_I hate the way I need you when I don't know where you are_

_I love it even more_

_When I find you on the floor_

_I know you think you hate me_

_But I will always hate you more!_

I pedal like no tomorrow, away from Leaf High, and away from the asshole-filled Akatsuki. Whatever that even is.

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><p><strong>First off: the fight. It really did come out of the blue, but I intended it that way. The blonde girl (whose name is Moegi) who confronted Mari is just what Mari said she was: the kid of girl who tries to be the biggest and baddest. She saw Mari's tough-looking clothes and heard about her tough attitude and decided she was a threat. However, even though Moegi's the "Alpha Female" in the bad-girl category, it's mainly because most others either don't 'challenge' her, let her get her way, or don't care enough to actually go head to head with her. Therefore, she doesn't actually fight that often, whereas Mari is rarely ever <em>not <em>fighting.**

**As far as the part where Mari told them off? It probably seemed unrealistically prepared. That's because it _was _prepared. She's wanted to tell off a girl like that for years, remember?**

**And no, we haven't seen the last of Meogi and Hai. :D**

**Finally, please, PLEASE review. Reviews keep me alive, people. It takes not even two minutes of your time to write a review, and the encouragement means more than I can say. Please, take the time to give me some feedback. **

**Thanks for reading!**

**-amy out**


	4. Mari, Please Put Your Chair Down

**This fic is turning out to be way more fun than I'd thought at first. I thought this would just be a cute humor-fic at best, but then i realized that the character of Mari kind of hits home with me, gives me a chance to explore some of the things I'm dealing with in my life right now...but you don't need to hear about thirteen-year-old drama. Let's get to the good stuff! HELL YEAH!**

**If I didn't own Naruto in the last couple of chapters, why the HELL would I own it now? THINK. **

**Sorry to all those who got an alert and thought I was uploading a new chapter, when I just wanted to edit. (tee hee)  
><strong>

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><p>I arrive at school the next day wiser. Not warier, but wiser. Now I know: Hidan is a creepy prick. Deidara is an annoying, arrogant prick. I can't decide who I hate more -it'll probably just continue to be whichever one I've talked to most recently. The Akatsuki is a gang for pricks. Alpha Female is threatened by me. And next time I see soda in the cafeteria, I shouldn't get excited -it's probably organic and diet.<p>

What I'm wearing and how I look doesn't really matter, except that I'm wearing more red and black than ever before. Even by underwear is red and black. It was sort of an inner battle between wearing similar colors to the Akatsuki and not doing what I was told.

It was a short battle.

I also brought -shhh- my pocketknife to school. Yeah, I know it's bad and I'll probably get suspended if they find out about it. Don't worry, I'm not gonna take it out to prove I have it. (That's how I got my weapons-grade slingshot confiscated in the seventh grade, which is the only reason I still have awful aim.) I'm also not gonna use in a fight, I don't believe in pulling out weapons. That's for weaklings and cowards. No, I have it in case the Aka-Pricks decide they want to teach me a lesson and jump me. I'm not afraid of them but I gotta admit they seem hardcore -not Alpha Female hardcore, but beat-the-living-shit-out-of-you hardcore. I'm a little reluctant to admit I need to take precautions, but if they try to attack me, I'll be happier for a window to escape than a chance to look like I ain't scared.

Anyways, today I'm wearing black skinnies with holes and red fishnets under, a red tank top and a black hoodie over it. Standard hair, eyeliner, and not-to-be-fucked-with attitude. And of course, my iPod in my ears.

I'm chaining up my bike when I hear someone clear their throat. I look up and see two dudes standing there. One is blue with-

"Hot damn, dude, you have gills! Awesome!" I blurt, sounding just exactly like a little kid.

He stares at me, blinks, then laughs. "Impressed?"

I gasp. "Your teeth are awesome, too! Whatever you're taking, I want some!"

He laughs again. "Are you sure this is the girl they were bitching about? She seems alright to me."

"Of course she does," says a quiet, soft, and ominous voice. "She's flattering you."

"No, I'm just easily impreeehhhh-" I turn to look at the owner of the ominous voice and my voice trails off. The man had black hair, coal-black eyes, lines on his face that would've been ugly on most people, and…and…

Okay, I'm kind of embarrassed by what my first thought was, especially considering who the dude turned out to be. Before I tell you, keep in mind that I am a female, and females sometimes have chemicals in their brains that make them think incorrect things about males.

Okay, ready?

My first thought when I saw this guy was: _HOTT! He's a sexy son of a bitch!_

"Please stop ogling me."

The cool blue, sharp-toothed, gill-having dude laughed. "Looks like she's not a dike like Hidan said."

That statement gave me enough sense to realize that I was acting like a horny, boy-chasing idiot. "O-one second please," I said, then turned around and slapped myself. Hard. "OW!"

I turned back around, but tried not to look directly at him. "Sorry about that. I don't usually drool over dudes I don't know…that was kind of embarrassing…" And then I looked at the other dude, who apparently thought my having to slap myself was freakin' hysterical. "And tell Hidan to go fuck himself. No, wait, I'll tell him. Never mind."

"Not smart," he told me, still chuckling. "Hidan has a temper."

"So do I."

"It would be in your best interests to keep it in check," said the black-haired man said calmly.

I groaned. "What _is _it with you guys and telling me to be a pussy? Not to mention following me, you creepers."

"Miss, you may be brave and strong," the hot dude said calmly. "But you're out of your league here. You'll only get yourself hurt if you-"

"Thanks for the concern, but I don't want to hear it," I tell him. "I can take care of myself."

The man's eyes narrowed and he seemed genuinely annoyed for the first time. And for some reason, this guy's 'annoyed' is more intimidating than most people's 'pissed as hell'. "Do not interrupt me."

So serious. "Do not patronize me." We glare at each others eyes, me thinking that he is definitely NOT hot. "Laying low isn't my thing."

Suddenly, he doesn't look annoyed. He looks…amused? WHAT THE HELL is so amusing about me? I'm sick and tired of these guys looking at me like I'm a private joke for their entertainment. "I see."

I just keep glaring. "Took you long enough."

Blue-gills-sharp-teeth-funny-dude laughed. "Don't say we didn't warn you. But I gotta say, I'm glad she's a little punk, it'll make things more interesting."

I do NOT like people saying my attitude is amusing. Or cute. Or interesting. Or entertaining. Or _little. _"Being blue only makes you a certain amount of cool, you know."

He ignores me, which is irritating. I'm becoming less impressed with his gills by the second. "Well, our job is over. Anyways, I'm Kisame, and the man you were drooling over earlier is Itachi."

I glare at both of them, thinking that it's very rude for people to be incredibly sexy/ incredibly awesome-looking when others are trying to be mad at them.

You know what? I'm sick of this conversation. It's high time for some randomness. "Well, Kisame, I have to know…do you like Spongebob?"

He looks totally bemused. "Come again?"

"You know, as in, 'who lives in a pineapple under the sea'?"

"Isn't that a kid's show?"

"An AMAZING kid's show!" I declare heatedly. "Spongebob is a badass!"

"I disagree," Kisame says. " Patrick is cooler." I grin. "So you DO watch it!"

"Occasionally."

"Have you seen the one where-"

"You are both idiots," says Itachi, leaving.

"Snooty bastard," I say, not caring if he hears. "How can you not like Spongebob?"

Kisame laughs. "I can honestly say I've never met a girl like you before."

I smile. "Thanks."

"That wasn't a compliment."

I make an annoyed face. "Well, peachy." I readjust my backpack over my shoulder. "See ya."

I start to walk away. "You're a rude one, aren't you?"

"Oh, this isn't rude. When I was talking to Itachi, _that _was rude. I'm still moderately impressed by your gills, so I'm not feeling rude."

"Hmph. Bye, then," and Kisame walks after Itachi.

I turn around to walk the long way to the school, so as not to have to deal with them anymore. They aren't as annoying as the other Akatsuki (I assume that's what they are). They didn't try to violate me in any way, which is a surefire way to make me not want to cause you bodily harm. But I'm done talking to Emo. _Kisame's cool, _I decide. _Kinda like a big brother._

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><p>I had a satisfyingly prick-free morning, but I did have to go to Biology eventually. I walk into the room like I expect to be attacked, and I kind of do. Having practically everyone stare at me isn't helping. "Hey, keep staring, I might do a trick," I say, half-joking. About half smile good-naturedly and turn away. About half scowl and turn away. I notice none of them keep staring after I tell them to stop, though. Apparently I've been branded as someone to be taken seriously. Which is good and all, but I'd rather be branded as a badass these people can be comfortable around. You can't have everything.<p>

I look toward where I sit in the back, and notice to my eternal irritation that Hidan is already there, smirking at me. I glare at him, trying to melt his head off, which only makes his smirk more. He points a finger at me, then curls it toward himself in the universal 'come-here' gesture. Only when he does it, it's undescribably smug and ANNOYING!

I am NOT going over there.

I walk over to the teacher's desk -not the same teacher from yesterday, a new one. He's a man with cool-looking silver hair and a mask on is reading a book with a man chasing a woman.

Whoa. I guess the library does have a porn section after all.

"Scuze me."

He holds up a finger, finishing reading whatever it is he's reading, and then looks up. "Yes?"

"I'd like to request to have my seat moved as far away from the back left corner as possible."

The man's one visible eye looks toward Hidan and then back to me. "Ah. So you've enountered our delinquint's irritating mannerisms, have you?"

"Understatement of the century. He seems to find me cute."

"And this bothers you?"

"Unbelievably."

The man laughed a little, but it wasn't the smug, irritating laugh I'd been hearing so much of. "Well, if you can convince me of why I should switch you with someone else, I will."

I smile. "Fair enough." I like this guy; not about to waste time and words on being polite. "Well, he's extremely irritating and I'm extremely short-tempered, so putting us together gives us a lot of oppurtunity to disturb your class."

He nods. "Fair enough. But it also gives you a lot of oppurtunity to make me laugh."

Okay, liking this guy a little less now. "If you put someone there, he'll still irritate me, but not as easily. Besides, I keep having the feeling he's gonna stalk me and slit my throat in my sleep."

"I doubt you'd let him. If I had another person sit by him, it would make it easier for Hidan to terrorize them. You seem capable of holding your own."

I'm trying to think of another convincing argument when Hidan yells out from the back of the room, "Hey, bitch! Get your ass back here, I wanna piss you off!"

I motion toward him. "Case in point!"

"What," he shouts. "Too scared to come sit by mean old Hidan?"

There's a silence. "Still want me to move your assigned seat?" he asks, sounding amused. Yes, definelty liking this guy less now.

I scowl at the teacher. "Never mind."

The teacher -what's his name again? Hatake?- crinkles his eye in a way that makes me think he's smiling. "That's what I thought. Best of luck."

i scowl and stomp over to my seat, crossing my arms.

"Doing what I fucking say now, huh?" Hidan smirks, leaning back in his chair ad tilting it on the two back legs. "Looks like you have a brain after all, bitch."

I don't answer, but dig around in my backpack until I find the condoms he put in there yesterday. I take them out and throw them in his face, saying, "Very fucking funny, you asshole fuckwad."

"Your language is offensive," Hidan tells me, not at all fazed by having condoms thrown in his hair. "And lighten up. I'm just fucking with you instead of cutting your ugly head off with my scythe. Returning a favor for all those nice outfits you wear," he finishes, up-downing me.

I glare at him and zip up my hoodie. Hidan finds this hysterical.

Prick.

"The more you hit on me, the less I want to be anywhere near you," I tell him as we get out our pens and papers to take notes.

"That's the point, ya prudey bitch."

I give him the finger and go back to taking notes, deciding to ignore him from now on.

"Seriously," he goes on, "how the hell are you gonna act all pissy about being hit on while wearnig fucking _fishnets? _Especially in my favorite color. Damn, it's like you wore that outfit just for me."

I fucking hate him. I know for a FACT he's not really that turned on by red fishnets, he's just doing this to irritate me! PRICK!

"I'll take your silence as a yes."

Ignore him. _I__gnore _him. He's not worth getting mad over.

He's silent just long enough for me to start hoping he might leave me alone now.

Oh, so naive. Such an incomplete knowledge of Hidan.

"You don't mind if I tell a couple people we're sleeping together, do you?"

I snap. "Get fucked, Hidan!"

He grins in triumph. "Score one for Hidan."

It takes me about two seconds to formulate a plan. I whip my left hand in the air, shake it, and go, "WHOO WHOO WHOO!" While he's still staring in confusion at my hand, I slam my fist -with my pen in it- down into his hand, which is resting palm-up on the table.

"OW! Fuck!"

"Score one for Mari."

He looks pissed and raises his leg, kicking me on the ribs so I fall out of my seat onto the ground. He laughs.

It's on now.

I stand up, pick up my chair and hold it over my head, planning on slamming it down into him. (I never claimed to be a strategic genius, allright?)

"_What _is going on back there?" Hatake asks tiredly.

"Hidan's about to get a world-class beat down, that's what's going on," I snarl.

"Uh-huh. Like I'm gonna get beat up by a fucking girl," Hidan smirks.

"Did you forget the part where this _girl _broke your toe and smasked your hand with a ballpoint pen?" I snap.

"Mari! Hidan!" Hatake barks, making us look up from our bickering. "Mari, please put your chair down. Hidan, please stop tormenting Mari."

"Well, since you said please...fuck, no," Hidan retorts.

I have a sudden urge to laugh, but force it down. I refuse to acknowledge his prickness as humor.

Hatake sighed. "I had a feeling you would say that." He glares at us. "Anything else from you two, and you're both going to the office, understand?"

We're silent.

"Good." And he resumes teaching the class.

I set my chair down -my arms are starting to hurt- and sit down in it, muttering, "Thanks, Teach, for being absolutely no help at all."

Hidan's chuckling. "You're screwed now, bitch."

I glare at him. "How do you figure that?"

"Because _I_ don't care if I got to the office. _You_ do."

"And what makes you think that?" I've already been here for two days, and I haven't been sent to the office yet. I'm losing my touch.

"The principal used to be a part of the Akatsuki," he says smugly, obviously enjoying the shocked look that goes across my face. "Who do you think he'll cut a better deal to?"

I glare at Hidan. Dealing with regular Akatsuki sucks, but dealing with an Akatsuki in a position of authority sounds awful.

He grins. "Gotcha."

And, it turns out, I _was _screwed. I had to spend the rest of the period dealing with his lewd comments and pokes without going psycho on his ass. At one point he started playing with my hair, and I swatted his hand away.

He just started doing it again.

"Prick," I mutter, deciding it's somewhat better than being poked in the ass.

"Bitch," he answers, intwining his fingers in my ponytail. "Why don't you ever wear your hair down?"

"Cuz it's a disadvantage in a fight. Plus it makes me feel like a prissy bitch," I answer irritably.

"Really." Suddenly he yanks my ponytail out and my hair falls down around my shoulders. "Makes you fuckin' look like one, too."

"Give it back, you dick!" I try to snatch it, but he holds it away from me, laughing.

"Only if you say 'pretty please'," he says smugly.

"Fuck that," I snarl before digging around in my backpack for a new hairtie. I find it and start putting my hair back up.

"Hey, I'll make you a deal," Hidan says lazily, twiling the stolen hairtie around his fingers. "Leave your hair down, and I'll leave you alone."

"Yeah right."

"I shit you not."

I look at him suspiciously. "Why?"

"Because it'll fucking bother you."

I wrestle with my pride before deciding that if it keeps me from being sexually harassed for the next twenty-ficve minutes, maybe it's worth it. "Fine."

"Shake on it." He holds out his hand.

"I'm not touching you-" He grabs my arm, forces me to shake his hand, and then lets it drop.

"Okay. Deal." He turns away from me and looks at the board.

Surprisingly, he keeps his promise and doesn't bother me until the end of class.

As I leave, with my hair cofortably back in a ponytail where it belongs, I look over my shoulder at him to see him still smirking at me.

Prick.

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><p><strong>Okay, apologies are in order. As for earlier, when Kisame called Mari a dike, I almost didn't put that in here because it's offensive. No, I don't care about all the other cuss words and violence and suggestiveness in this fic, but that seems wrong because it's a hate word. I ended up keeping it because Hidan is supposed to be offensive. Also, I think I might've made her conversation with Kisame seem unrealistic, but that's what Mari would do. Sometimes she just gets bored of drama.<strong>

**And I know I'm spending too much time on Hidan, but he's easy to write about: just imagine the douchiest while also funniest thing for a person to say, and have him say it with a surplus of odd profanity. BOOM! That's Hidan. What's funny is I'm actually having trouble putting enough cuss words in, which is a problem I have NEH-HEH-HEH-HEVER had before. (I've been watching Ace Ventura, BTW)**

**Anyways, I have big plans for where this fic will go, but not so big plans on how to get there. I'll figure it out, but it'll take some more time than it's been taking recently to update this fic. So, mainly to buy myself some time and make sure I don't end up publishing some peice of poop just to prolong the fic, I'll update when I have a total of 16 reviews. *Coughcoughstallingcough* Hey, this chapter was pretty long, wasn't it?**

**-amy out**


	5. 10 Things You Don't Know About Me

**Okay. First off: updates. I'm writing this with my mother gone and six kids to baby-sit because I'm grounded. I'd literally just uploaded chapter four when Mom got a call from my principal. EEP! Yeah, well, looking at the character I've created, it's no big surprise. Anyways, I've gotten tons of really nice reviews, but I am my harshest critic. As for pretty much everything, remember that all four chapters have taken place on Monday and Tuesday only. Plot in real life takes course over WEEKS, not days. And since I keep having a feeling I'm not making the Akatsuki homicidal enough, I should make it realistic otherwise. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that in real life they woud've tried to kill Mari buy now, but I have this strange urge to keep my main character alive...Oh, there are so many things I want to improve on, like Hidan's over-flirtation (No, he doesn't have a thing for her), the lack of Le Biatch, Mari not fully hating Itachi yet... GAH! Stop it, Amy. Whenever I start feeling like this, I just mutter the phrase "two hundred hits in three days" until I feel better.**

**So, I'll be ungrounded starting on Tueday, so expect muchos updates then!**

**Rainy: I totally told you so. Ye have little faith; like I would write a Mary Sue fic. (My idea of romance is Love the Way You Lie by Eminem, not Love Story by Taylor Swift.) Next time you won't doubt your Sissy/Ememy, hmmm?**

**Dislaimer: I don't own Naruto. This chapter's lyrics are from 21 Guns by greenday and Down With the Sickness by Disturbed. I own none of the movies mentioned.**

**Damn, this is one long-ass author's note, huh? Now let's get this show on the road!**

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><p>This is retarded.<p>

I stare blankly at the board, reading: Ten Things You Don't KNow About Me. We're supposed to write this down in our journals and give it to the crusty old teacher in a white ponytail, who Naruto calls "Pervy Sage".

I took a seat in the back.

"What does that even _mean, _dude?" I ask Nartuo, who's currently trying to balance his pencil on his nose.

"Well, you think of ten things about you-"

"That was rhetoric, man."

"Oh. Okay."

English is the only class I have with Naruto, unfortunately. I have two classes with this pink-haired chick named Sakura who sits at our table, but she's not nearly as cool as Naruto. As for everyone else, I don't remember their names. Yes, I know I'm retarded. I also don't care.

It's Friday. The rest of the week has gone by without much to report. I mean, I met another member of the Akatsuki, but it pretty much went like this (Note Flashback):

"You're in front of my locker."

"Oh. Sorry, man." I moved out of the way and looked at the red-haired boy. "I'm Mari. What's your name?"

He looked at me skeptically. "Why should I tell you?"

I shrugged. "Well, unless you're a spy or something, why _shouldn't _you?"

"Fair enough. Sasori." He glanced breifly at my clothes. "And you shouldn't wear our colors."

I groaned. "Dude, You're _one _of them? And here I ws thinking what a non-douche you are."

He smiled slightly. "So you've met Hidan?"

And then there was the argument I had with Le Biatch, whose name I found out is Moegi. (Follower's name is Hai.) But, the bitch has nothing original, interesting, or even mildly insulting to say. I'll spare you the details, but I'll give you the gist: The argument started off on the subject of who was and was not a bitch. This led to more talk of bitchiness, leading to a dissection of cowardliness and who was and was not such. Then threats ensued, following Moegi suggesting that some people learn to keep their mouths shut. This led to more discussion of shhutting up; specifically, who should do it and when. The argument ended when I finally reminded her of the ease with which I handed her ass to her. At this she started speaking at a considerably higher decibel than usual until a teacher came and broke us up.

Yeah. Anyways.

I open the red spiral notebook I've been given to the first page. I start writing:

_1. My last name is Siu, prononounced soo. So my name is Mari Siu. Yeah, yeah, tee hee._

_2. I have a little brother named Kai. Hurt him and you die._

_3. I sing and am learning to play guitar. I'm gonna be a rockstar, dattebayo!_

_4. I like the kid's show My Little Pony. Don't ask._

I look up and glance at Naruto, still scribbling away in his green spiral. "Whatcha writing, man?"

"Ramen preferences," he mutters, not looking up from his paper.

"You would be."

I go back to my paper:

_5. I write poems. NO, you can't read any._

_6. I know how to sew._

_7. I'm pretty much amazing at war games._

What else? _I'm all alone in the world,_ I think, but rule that out. None of supposedly-perverted-dude's buisness. Besides, I don't want to come across as whiny. And I have Kai, after all, even though he's more of a responsibility than a -No. Mari, stop. You will not sit here and go into your emo corner. I forbid it.

"What number are you on?" I ask Naruto.

"Five."

"That's it?" I ask, a little surprised. We've had ten minutes already.

"Yeah. It's hard thinking of things Pervy Sage doesn't know about me," Naruto explains, looking up from his paper. "I've lived with him since I was little. My parents died when I was just a baby."

"Oh," I say awkwardly. "I'm sorry, man." What could I possibly say that would ever make this any better?

"Don't be," Naruto grins before going back to his page.

I smile back at him, even though he's not looking. I'm so glad I met Naruto. He's just got this thing about him that makers you not worry about being judged or any of the other stupid crap people do to each other. He's definetly my best friend here. If it weren't for him the closest I would have to a friend here would probably be Hidan, since he's the only one I've had a longer-than-five-minutes conversation with.

Which is just sad.

_8. I've been in kickboxing since I was ten. And I rock at it._

_10. I'm not the best with numbers._

Half-assing it if I ever saw it, but it'll do.

I lean back in my chair, hands on the backof my head, and look up at the ceiling. There's so many things I could've written about me that would explain myself better, but sharing with others is out of the question. I can't exactly write that I've been taking care of Kai since I was six years old, or that I haven't seen either of my parents since Wendsay. I can't exactly write that I've never had a boyfriend, or fuck it, even a crush before. Which isn't to say that I'm all innocent. I know what stuff is and how stuff is done. It's just, apparently I know a little _too much, _if you know what I mean.

Plus, a lot of guys don't like loud, obnoxious, violent girls. Weirdos. Besides, I don't need a boy coming into my life and making things all complicated. I'd rather just raise hell while I'm here and die with no regrets.

I pull out my iPod and do that oh-so-sneaky thing were you thread the earphones through your jacket sleeve and rest your head on your hand so you can listen to it without anyone noticing.

_"Do you know what's worth fighting for?_

_When it's not worth dying for?_

_Does it take your breath away-_

_And you feel yourself suffocating?"_

I grin. Greenday is the shit. See, what's weird is Greenday's supposed to be a punk, 'bad kid' bamd, but it has tons of songs that are all about peace. And then country music (rock is the best, but my life is music and music is ART, so I go out of my way to listen to all kinds of it), which is supposed to be about as non-punk as you can get, has several songs PROMOTING war.

Speaking of country music, maybe I should put down that I like some of it as my tenth thing. But, thinking it over, I decide I like the joke more than I want a 100.

"Okay! Done!" Naruto exclaims, punching his paper one last time with his pencil to make a period. He looks up at me, smiling as usual. "Wanna trade?"

I look down at my paper and shrug. Why not? "You got it. Here."

We exchange journals and I start to read Naruto's.

_Ten Things You Don't Know Blah Blah_

_1. I had a dream about an evil pineapple last night._

_2. I got to the Strawberry level of Pac-Man._

_3. It's hard to balance a pencil on your nose._

_4. I prefer pork ramen to beef._

_5. I met a girl named Mari, she sits with Team Baka now. NO, we're NOT going out!_

_6. My soulder kinda hurts._

_7. I have a sore on my lip._

_8. I find this very difficult._

_9. I'm terrible at origami._

_10. Gaara says I look weird in a beanie._

_DONE! DATTEBAYO!_

I suppress a laugh as I look up from the page at Naruto. "A beanie, huh?" I ask as he finishes reading my list.

"Yep," he says, so seriously that I have to laugh.

"You know, I thought _I _was random, but this thing is a masterpeice of randomosity, man," I tell him.

"Thank you. And do you really sing?"

"Naaahhh," I drawl sarcastically. "I just put it down there to mess with you."

"Oh."

There's an awkward silence.

"...Um, yeah, Naruto, I sing. I ws being sarcastic, man."

"I knew that!"

"Sure ya did." I smile. "But yeah, I sing a lot. Music is the purest form of art, y'know."

"Art?"

"Uh-huh!" I say enthusiastically. My eyes light up and I become more animated, even I can tell. "Music is all about expression, man. And that's what art is, right? Expression!"

I'm on the subject of music being art. We're all in deep shit now.

"Hmm," Naruto says, looking like he's trying really hard to keep up with me. "But isn't art visual?"

"It can be, but real art is all about emotions. It doesn't matter how you get there."

"Oh. But you can't really preserve music, so-"

"Doesn't matter, man!" I'm getting really into it now. "One three-minute song can change your life! It doesn't matter how long art lasts, just what it acheives while it's here! Hell yeah!"

"Uh, you lost me."

I look at him, making myself return to reality, and laugh. "Well, maybe it only makes sense to me. I'm still right though!"

"Huh." Naruto looks thoughtful. "Do you make your own music?"

"...No," I admit, "I sing, but I only just started learning the guitar. And I have trouble putting music to my poems."

"Oh. Well, don't give up!" Naruto encourages me, his bright bule eyes meeting my boring brown ones. "i bet you'll totally be a rockstar one day! Dattebayo!"

A warm feeling fills me up from my head to my toes. "Thanks, man. That means a lot."

Naruto is definetly my best friend here. Like I said, he's got something about him that puts others at ease. He's the kind of person it's impossible to be bored or depressed around. _Plus,_ I think as he mentions that he loves Greenday and I glomp him, _he has excellent taste in art! _

"You know," Naruto mentions after a few minutes of chatter about music, "you remind me of that one dude -I forget his name- about art, and stuff?"

"I'm listening," I say, interested.

"As far as it not mattering how long art lasts. He thinks art is an explosion -literally," Naruto grins. "He's kind of an arsonist."

"What's he look like, man?" I ask, thinking that I definetly want to talk art with this guy.

I should've known it was too good to be true.

"Well, he's blonde, blue eyes, wears his hair like yours, and I'm pretty sure he's in that gang, Akatsuki...what?" Naruto stops describing him, seeing my dark look.

_Fuck my life._

"You must have the wrong guy," I tell him, glaring at the wall. "I know him, and he's a total prick. Pricks don't appreciate art."

"Um...okay," Naruto says, sounding somewhat freaked.

There's a silence in which I stew and Naruto looks awkward. After a moment I notice how unconfortable he looks and feel a bit guilty; it's not his fault he mentioned a prick. "Never mind. What say we change the subject?" I suggest."

Naruto's undying grin is back. "Good idea."

Before I can respond, the teacher claps his hands. "Alright, time's up! Pass your journals to the front, please! And an extra ten points for any ladies who included their measurements," he adds creeper-ish-ly.

"No _lady _would do that," gripes a blonde girl with four ponytails in the front before I even have time to get sufficiently WTF-ified. "And quit being creepy. We're fifteen, for chrissake."

"Le gasp! I would never hit on a minor!" Pervy Sage declares as me and Naruto wave the Bullshit flag from the back row. "I was making a joke!"

"A creepy joke."

"Don't be so sensitive. Seriuosly, class, pass up your journals!"

I bite down on my lip to keep from laughing. "Is this guy for real?"

"You don't know the half of it," Naruto tells me, laughing shamelessly. "Our computer's always crashing because he won't quit downloading-"

"No way!" I crack up. "He's a dirty old man!"

"Ain't that the truth," answers Pervy Sage, apparently having heard our conversation. "So, Naruto, you finally getting some action?"

Naruto turns red and starts to stammer, but I cut him off. "Nah," I say casually. "We're just friends because we're both idiots. And besides, I'd be willing to bet you haven't had any action without paying for it your entire life, man."

The class cracks up and Pervy Sage shakes his head. "You'd lose that bet. I'm Jiraiya, the sexy man-beast Toad Sage! Women used to fall longingly at my feet!"

"_Used _to," I remind him.

"Touche. The force is strong with this one," Pervy Sage says slomelnly.

"Dattebayo!" me and Naruto say at the same time.

"Serioulsy though, what does a man have to do to get journals passed up to him in this class?"

We finally pass up our journals, still laughing.

* * *

><p>I went into Biology in a better mood than I can remember being.<p>

"Hey, bitch," Hidan greets me as I sit down. "Wanna fuck?"

"Go to hell, asswipe," I say almost cheerily, knowing full well he just wants to get a reaction.

"Someone's all cheery today," he observes douche-ily. "Did a fucking kitten die?"

"Ah, shaddup," I say. "Hey everyone!" I call, raising my voice to address the rest of the class. "I'll be jamming out until the bell rings, so sorry if I break something, man!"

They just give me weird looks and go back to their conversations.

I plug in my earphones and scroll down to Down With the Sickness.

_"OH WAH AH AH AH!"_

I close my eyes and just get lost in the music, jerking around to the beat in a way that I know is spastic.

Then, right before the skit in the middle, I notice that the music gets quiter. I frown. I must've accidentily turned the volume down. I crank up the music as far as it can go until I can hear it perfectly and, eyes still closed, mouth along to the lyrics:

_"No mommy! Don't do it again!_

_Don't do it again! I'll be a good boy!_

_I'll be a good boy! I promise!_

_No mommy, don't hit me -OW!_

_Why do you gotta hit me like that mommy?_

_Don't -Mommy! You're hurting me -OW!_

_Why do you have to be such a bitch?_

_Why don't you...why don't you fuck off and DIE?_

_Don't you ever stick your hand in my face again, bitch!_

_FUCK YOU!_

_I don't need this SHIT!_

_You stupid, sadistic, abusive fucking whore!_

_You wanna see how it feels mommy?_

_Well here it comes, get ready to DIE!"_

As the song fades into drums and guitars I finally open my eyes.

Something's wrong.

First sign? Hidan is laughing. Already I can tell I'm fucked.

Second sign? The entire class, even the teacher, is staring wide-eyed at me.

"What?" I ask. "My dancing that ba-"

This is when I finally take out the earphones, only to find that I can hear the music just as well.

Shitdick.

Panicking, I check my iPod to find that THE EARPHONES AREN'T PLUGGED IN.

Double shitdick.

So...it turns out, I didn't accidentily turn the volume down earlier. While "dancing" it seems I accidentily unplugged the earphones. And then, because I was born to have FML moments, I turned up the volume to the max.

The class heard everything.

I gulp and press "pause". "Uh...I'll be here all week!" I exclaim, making a lame attempt at joking.

A few laughed, but most just look severely freaked.

"Please make sure your earphones are plugged in next time," Hatake says calmly.

"Sure thing," I agree, mildy embaressed.

The class slowly goes back to its buisness while i sheepichly put up my iPod.

"That was fucking awesome," Hidan laughs at me. "Don't tell me that was really an accident?"

"Shut the hell up."

"No, I'm serious," he chuckles. "I respect you somewhat now."

"Goody."

"Hey, are you the kinda bitch who screams during scary movies?" he asks suddenly.

I give him an odd look, but I'm somewhat accustomed to his random-switching-of-the-subject. Apparently Hidan talks about what he damn well pleases and the rest of us just have to deal with it. Prick. "'Course not," I scoff.

"Good. Me, you, Texas Chainsaw Massacre marathon at my place. You're coming or I'll fucking drag you."

I blink, surprised. "Say _what_? You aren't...asking me out, are you?" I ask, repulsed by the idea.

"No. I'm TELLING you that you're coming to watch some fucking scaryass movies with me."

"Why?"

"Because I fucking said so, bitch!"

"No, why do you even want me to watch scary movies with you?"

He looks thoughtful for a minute. "I dunno. Do I need a reason?"

"Do you not know the difference between friendship and animosity?" I ask, somewhat annoyed at him switching the setting from friends to enemies so fast. It throws me off.

He gives me a relaxed, confident look. "That depends on what the FUCK animosity MEANS."

Okay, I'll admit it, I had the urge to laugh here. "Whatever. I'm not going to your house anytime soon, anyways."

"Does it _sound _like I was giving you a _choice?_" he asks, giving me a dangerous look. "You're coming whether you like it or not."

"No I'm not!" I hiss. "Even if I wanted to deal with you, I wouldn't go to your house. You'd probably rape me."

"Don't give me ideas," He grins evilly.

I try to stomp on his foot again, but he dodges. Dammit.

"You can't make me go," I tell him defiantly.

"Yes I fucking can!"

"You don't know where I live."

"So I'll follow you home."

"Creep."

"Whore."

"Prick."

"Bitch."

"Asshole."

"Pussylicker."

"Cock rider."

"Dick sucker."

I glare at him, but...I do kind of want to watch that movie. Besides, he doesn't seem like he's gonna give up on this. I sigh and try a different approach. "Okay, fine, if you're gonna be a total fuckass about this, bring your stupid movies to my house. I have to watch my little brother."

"Fuck, no! I don't give a flying rat's ass about your fucking brother."

"Well, you haven't seen my horror movie collection, have you?" I ask slyly.

Hidan looks at me suspiciously. "Saw?"

"The first and second one."

"Zombie movies?" he challenges.

"38 Days Later, Shaun of the Dead, Zombieland, Resident Evil 2 and 3, and season 1 of the Walking Dead," I list proudly.

"Freddy Cruger? Jason? Paranormal Activity?"

"The works," I grin.

"Damn, you're one fucked-up bitch," Hidan grins back. "_I _don't even have that many. Kakuzu won't lend me money to buy any."

"So use your own."

"Spent it on beer. which you have some of, right?"

"With my parents? Pshaw," I answer. "We have plently, plus liquor. But puke in my house once, and I will make you eat it."

"Sure you will. But yeah, I'll come."

"Cool."

It takes me a full four seconds to remember that I hate him, and another three to realize what I just agreed to. "Wait, what? I don't want you at my house!"

"Too damn bad. You argued your case too well," Hidan leers at me. "I've already decided. No fucking back-outs."

I glare at him, knowing he's right. "Try to touch me, and I'll castrate you."

"Like I couldn't take you."

"Hell hath no fury like the woman groped," I warn him.

"Bitch, you ain't got shit _worth _groping."

"Dickless prick."

"Titless bitch."

This is basically where our conversation ends because I begin doing my work and Hidan begins copying MY work. This irritates me somewhat because I usually am hte one copying off of others, but the only one close enough to copy off of is Hidan.

Like that's gonna happen- the dude's fucking retarded.

...I still can't believe I agreed to him coming to my house.

* * *

><p><strong>Heh heh :D I got the idea of the iPod playing in class from a real life event. My friend's phone went off in the middle of class, and her ringtone was Let The Bodies Hit the Floor. The normal people practically shitted themselfes :P<strong>

**And as for Mari's account of the argument with Le Biatch and Follower, apologies to the Dear Dumb Diary series by Jim Benton. If you don't know what I'm talking about, lucky me.**

**So, any advice? Please review! I updated early this time, so you owe me! PLEEEAAASE review! I'd really like suggestions for encounters with any of the Akatsuki, because I want to develop Mari's feelings for them (mostly negative feelings, btw) before I get to the actual plot. Because for once, there actually is one. So, please review, and thanks for reading!**

**-Amy out**


	6. There's Pink Shit On Your Face

"Okay. Let's go over this again. Hidan?"

"Tall, silver hair, purple eyes," Kai answers.

"Yes. If he messes with you?"

"Nut-punch or hide behind you," he recites.

"Perfect. If he talks to you?"

"Don't answer unless you're in the room," Kai responds boredly.

"If he touches you?"

"Nut-punch and run."

I nod. "If he's nice?"

"Don't take candy from him."

I smile. "If he offers you beer?"

"I'm not allowed any."

"Okay. You pass. Oh, and you're not allowed to watch any of the movies, and your bedtime is still 10, man!"

Kai rolls his eyes at me and crosses his arms. "If you're giving me a lesson on Stranger Danger just to be around this guy, why is he even allowed at our house?"

I sigh. "Still trying to figure that out myself, dude."

Hidan followed me home, despite my attempts to lose him since I was on a bike and he was on foot. (The bastard can run _fast_.) When he got to my house he promptly left to go fetch his movies and some snacks. "Not that your fat ass needs the calories," he adds prick-ishly.

So I tripped him, using the same somewhat-kung-fu-ish trick I used on Le Biatch on Monday. Hidan's a strong MF-er but he's about as graceful as, well, me. He fell down and screamed curses until I flipped him off and told him he didn't have to come back if he was so pissed. Of course this only made him want to come back more.

Anyways, he'll be back soon, and I have to admit I'm nervous for my little brother. And for me. I've got all my pocket knives hidden on me, plus Dad's huge hunting one which he left behind. I'm taking no chances with this guy, who seems unstable at best and homicidal at worst.

I still haven't ruled out the possibility of him coming back with a gun and shooting up the place just for the fun of it.

...fuck my life.

"When is Dad coming back?"

Kai's question catches me off gaurd, what with my thoughts of letting a possible Serial Killer into our house. "Hell if I know," I answer, forcing down the worry that rises up every time I think of this.

See, Mom doesn't live with us anymore. We don't know where she is. The last time we saw her was when she and Dad had this huge screaming fest on Wendsday.

And that's the night Dad dissapeared -we haven't seen him since.

Luckily he didn't seem to take anything with him but some clothes, so we have all the money he had left in his sock drawer -about $200- any paycheck he may have coming, and of course foodstamps. I've been handling most of the running-of-the-household for the past year, from cooking to fixing stuff to paying the bills, but I don't know nearly enough to get by for very much longer. I'm just praying Dad gets back before...I don't know. I honestly don't even know what to be afraid of.

_Don't think about it,_ I tell myself. _I can just get a part-time job, or something. _

"Can I get a snack?" Kai asks suddenly.

"Yeah. But no milk!"

"You suck."

"No chips, either!"

"AW!"

"Look, we're almost out, dude. If you want chips so bad, make your own money and buy some."

Before we can finish our argument, Hidan bursts through the front door. Without knocking, might I add.

"Hey, bitch!" he exclaims, arms full of beer, snacks and DVDs. "You'd better not have been lying about those fucking movies!"

"There's such a thing called knocking, fuckass!" I shout at him from the kitchen, which is located behind the living room where Hidan is with a gap in the walls so we can see each other.

"Yeah, and I don't give a shit!" He throws his junk on the ground and takes a look around. "Your house is fucking ugly."

"Well, you're free to go, man. Bye," I say hopefully.

"You wish." Hidan jumps onto the couch, stretching out luxuriously as if he owns the place. "Let's get this bloodfest on! I wanna see some fucking guts and gore! And wait," he says, looking at Kai, who's staring at Hidan shamelessly. "Who's this douchebag?"

My anger flares. "YOU are the douchebag here, and this is my brother, Kai. And if you so much as look at him funny-"

"Who lit the fuse on your tampon?" Hidan interrupts me. "I'm not gonna do anything to the little bastard. Unless he provokes me."

"I've told him to punch you in the nuts if you do anything to him. You get one warning and one warning only." I nudge my little brother. "Huh, Kai."

"Whatever." He leaves the room. "I'm not dealing with your stupid crazy-ass friend."

"HEY!" I yell as he exits. "Only cuss while singing!"

"Yeah, yeah..."

I roll my eyes and return my attention to Hidan, who's chuckling. "Funny. We're staying the night tonight," Hidan says out of nowhere.

I'm starting to protest that FUCK NO HE IS FUCKING NOT STAYING THE FUCKING NIGHT AT MY FUCKING HOUSE, when I notice the first word of that statement. "'We'?" I ask, confused.

"Yeah, bitchass tagged along," Hidan says as he lazily points toward the door. "I tried to lose him, but I guess he followed me."

I turn to the door just in time to see it open to reveal...Deidara? WTF?

I don't run to the door. I SPRINT, slamming it closed and locking it before the blonde can push it back. "KAI! BACK DOOR!" I bark.

"'Kay!" he shouts, running to lock the back door. We lock people out of the house often; Hidan and Blonde Asshole aren't the first people I've preferred to keep out.

Once I hear the door lock, I round on Hidan. "Dude, what the FUCK is that prick doing here?"

"Hey, I didn't want that asswad here either. I'd rather have you all to myself," he grins wolfishly.

I'm too thrown off to even get mad. "Why did he even WANT to come?"

"I don't know. Fucking bored, I guess."

"I -he -what the- NO!" I shout, knowing Hidan thinks my being flustered is funny. "I don't even want YOU in my house, and now Blondie's here too? You've gotta be kidding me, man!"

Suddenly, someone behind me grabs my arm and twists it behind my back. I see a flash of bright blonde hair and realize who it is. "What the hell, man! How did you-"

"Didn't lock your windows, dumbass," Deidara growls. "And DON'T try to lock me out again. Next time I'll just bomb the place, un."

"Let go of my arm and get the hell out of my house, man!" I demand, struggling.

"Why should I, un?" He tightens his grip, making a spike of pain run through my shoulder, while also leaning closer and whispering intimately. It creeps me out. (The shivers down my back are from being creeped out. The red in my face is from anger. And that firey feeling in my stomach?...Also anger.) "Give me one good reason."

I kick him in the knee twice, reaching up with my arm that's not pulled behind me to grab his hair and yank until he lets go. As soon as I can wiggle free I turn around and give him an uppercut to the stomach. "How's _that _for a reason?"

He looks about to slam me, and I'm ready for a fight (what the HELL makes him think he can come to my house? And then climb in through the window? And then creep me out like that! He is the DEFINITION of prickness!), but at the last second, he rolls his one visible eye. "Whatever. Move."

He pushes me aside to walk past me.

I trip him, making him stumble. Without thinking I give him a good hard shove on his back, making him lose what remains of his balance and fall face-first onto the floor. Before I can stop myself for being FUCKING RETARDED I jump on his back and pull _his _arm back, hard. "TAP OUT!"

"BITCH! Get off! And here I was trying to be nice, un!"

"I said tap OUT, you asshole!"

He's flailing and struggling, but I'm heavier than I look, stronger than I seem and pissed as hell. "I'll kill you!"

"You have to get up first, doncha, dipshit? You shouldn't have come to my house, dude!"

He almost throws me off then, but I use my hand that's not pulling his arm to slam his face into the ground. "TAP OUT!"

It's not until now that I notice Hidan's hysterical laughter and Kai having run into the room. I kind of forgot those two were still here.

"Mari's making you her bitch!" Hidan snorts, shaking with laughter. "I'm liking this girl more every second!"

"Go Mari! Go Mari! ANNIHALATE HIM!" Kai's shouting.

"Go away, Kai!" I shout.

Unfortunately, dealing with Hidan and my little brother makes me lose my focus and this is when Deidara uses the arm I'm not dislocating to roll himself over, so fast I hardly know what's happening. Before I can counter it, I'm on my back with a livid Deidara sitting on me, knees on my elbows so I'm helpless.

I glare up at him defiantly, refusing to blink.

He looks ready to slit my throat, but slowly a grin grows on his face that makes me nine different levels of nervous. Whatever he's planning, you can bet it'll be more painful than getting punched in the face.

"Hey, kid," he says casually to Kai. "Hand me some lights from that Christmas tree, would ya?"

"Don't listen to him, Kai!" I shout.

Kai ignores me and hands the strange man he's never met what he asks for. Yes, me and my little brother will be having a Talk later. "You are SO grounded mister!" I shout.

"Yeah, yeah. I have zombies to kill," Kai says before returning to his room to play his video games.

To my embaressment, Deidara easily flips me onto my stomach and begins tying my hands behind my back, despite my desperate flailing and struglling.

"Get off!" I say as I thrash around like crazy.

"Too late, un," he says as I feel the wires tighten around my wrists painfully. Apparently done, he grabs me by my tied-together arms and forces me to my feet, throwing me face-first onto the couch next to Hidan.

Well, I'm fucked. Kai's off being a little idiot, and although me and Hidan are technically friends now, I'm not delusional enough to think he'll actually try and help me. "Untie me, shithead! Son of a bitch!" I scream, humiliated, as I try to stand back up.

He rearranges me so I'm sitting up straight. "Shut up and watch the movie, un," Deidara smirks, sitting down too close for comfort on the other side of me.

"Mother fucker!"

"Don't make me gag you too, un."

I stop screaming to glare at him. "I fucking hate you."

"Don't care, un." He slips an arm over my shoulder, infuriating me more.

"Go fuck a monkey ass!" I screech. I tense up and shake back and forth in a futile attempt to remove his arm from my shoulders.

"Oh, you don't like it when I touch you, un?"

"HELL NO!"

"Too bad. You should've thought of that before pissing me off. Hidan, put in a movie, un."

"Fuck, you guys are better than cable," Hidan chuckles as he puts a movie in the DVD player. "Personally, I was betting on Mari."

"Shut up, un."

And that's pretty much how I spend the next twenty minutes. After a few minutes I get into the movie, which makes it easier to ignore the Idiot Pricks acting smug. Unfortunately it also means I jump whenever someone gets stabbed or something. Since Deidara still has his arm on my shoulders, he of course feels it, and each little jump I do sets off a shoulder squeeze and a round of smirking: "Aw, is someone scared?"

"Fuck off!"

"Touchy, un."

"FUCK. OFF."

"Hey, shut the hell up!" Hidan snaps. "This is one of the best parts! Fuck, look at all that blood!" he laughs.

And that's another thing: on the other side of me, Hidan seems to be rooting for the ax-murderer. He comments several times on how 'fucking genius this son of a bitch is' and how 'realistic the special effects are' and how 'the stupid heathen bitches deserve to be killed for not following Jashin'. I decide to save the 'what's-jashin' question for a time when my arms aren't tied behind my FUCKING back.

About halfway through the movie, I feel something scraping on my left hand, which is deep in the couch. At first it scares me because at the moment a screaming girl is getting her guts ripped out by a guy with a hook, but after a second I realize it's a loose couch spring.

_YES! _I nonchalantly position the wire over the sharp part of the spring and start cutting through the strong but thin bindings.

"Don't bother, un," Deidara tells me smugly. "You're tied good and tight. No matter how much you struggle, you aren't getting out until I-"

The rest of his sentence is cut off as I finally free my hands and begin punching him in the face repeatedly.

I get in three good hits before he pushes me off. I fall onto the floor and jump right back up, ready for a fight.

"How the fuck did you-"

"I'm a special girl. Now GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!"

"Dream on, un." He leans back into the couch, looking way too relaxed for having just been assaulted. "I'm not leaving, if only because it'll bother you, un."

I glare at him and he ignores me, laughing along with Hidan as another victim is killed.

After a few seconds I decide that nothing can be done to make him leave if he's gonna be a bitch about it. I grab a bag of chips that Hidan brought and sit cross-legged on the ground to watch the movie, chomping furiously.

Things are basically the same way all night. I send Kai to be early, giving him a good long chew-out for helping Deidara tie me up, and then around midnight insist that the two boys leave.

Predictably, they refuse, so I stomp out and pull down the stairs to my attic bedroom. I stomp up and pull the stairs up after me.

My room's pretty much amazing. It's cozy and has a triangle-shaped roof, plus a round window overlooking the nighborhood with a padded shelf beneath it. My bed sits near the trapdoor, my dresser next to the window and my closet on the other side of said window. But the coolest thing about my room is my having my own bathroom! Yes, you heard me right, I have my own bathroom, complete with a shower. Whoever lived here last renovated the crap out of this place. I also have a desk with all my junk and books and crap scattered on it. My old busted guitar, radio, iPod charger and collection of CDs sits in a corner near an outlet.

But this is not the time for worshipping my room. I lock the trapdoor firmly, change into my pajamas, and throw myself down onto the bed, burying myself into the covers and ignoring the sounds of horror-movie-watching coming from my living room.

* * *

><p>I wake up early the next morning, around 7:30. Yes, I am a freak of nature; I need little to no sleep to keep going. Three hours a night and some coffee and I can go perfectly normal for months. Anyways, the first thing I do is take a shower, get dressed, dum dum dum...it's not until I'm assaulting my hair with a towel to dry it that I remember last night. At first I wonder if it's a dream, since the whole thing seems weirder in daylight. Did I really permit Violent Asshole to be in my house? And did I really try to make Girly Prick tap out?<p>

I snort at myself here. Actually, that sounds like something I definetly would do.

Only one way to find out what went down.

Hair still wet and still wearing my PJs (orange shorts, black T-shirt), I unlock the trapdoor and step quietly down the stairs. I walk down the hallway in Stealth Mode (alright, not one of my stronger modes) to the living room, where I find that no, it wasn't a dream. Hidan is nowhere to be seen, but chip bags and empty beer cans/bottles are strewn all over the floor and couch. Along with Deidara.

Deidara looks like he drank more than his fair share of Budlight. I'm glad I bailed early, I don't think dealing with drunken Akatsuki would be more fun than dealing with them sober. He's conked out and halfway off the couch, snoring like a jackhammer.

My first thought is to drag him out of my house and let him wake up in the middle of the road. But then, my evil mind got to whirring and as I remembered my Christmas present from Kai...

Pink hair dye.

"Mwah ha ha ha," I whisper as I scurry back up the stairs to find it.

Ten minutes later, after much confused fiddling and finally reading the directions (I don't believe in reading the directions, taking trips, band-aids, teaming up on others, or ladders.) I'm twisting chunks of Deidara's vulnerable blonde hair in tin foil with a reddish-looking liquid inside. I'm staining the couch, but I don't care! As long as he stays asleep for another thirty minutes, his hair will be pink for months!

I'm halfway through my beautiful job and considering Hairstylist as my future profession when Hidan bursts through the door. "DONUTS mother fuckers!" he shouts.

I jump up and wave my hands. "SHHH!"

"Is that fucking _blood_ on your hands?" Hidan asks excitedly, throwing the bags of donuts onto the floor. "What are you doing to Blonde Bitch? Can I help?"

"It's pink hair dye!" I whisper/scream. "And you can help by not waking the son of a bitch up!"

"Pink hair dye? What the f-" He finally takes a look at Deidara, still conked out (he must've drank a shitload! Idiot.) and with his hair wrapped up in tinfoil. Finally the violent retard gets it and an evil grin grows on his face.

"You're an evil fucking genius," he tells me, finally dropping his voice.

"Thanks. Do you wanna help?"

"Fuck yeah!" He runs over to the bowl of pink hair dye, jams his hands in, and throws a bunch on Deidara's hair and face.

I faceplam, getting the dye on _my _face. "You fucktard! That's not how this works!"

"You have pink shit on your face."

"Which is also your fault!" I snap. "I'm gonna go wash it off. Look, this is how you do it-"

And I proceed to show him how you grab a chunk of hair, pour hair dye on it, and then wrap it in tin foil.

To my surprise, Hidan actually listens to me closely. When I'm done he grins and bites down on his hand to keep from laughing. "Blondie's gonna bust a shitdick when he wakes up! You might want to drag him out of the house, though. He tends to blow shit up when he's pissed off."

"No shit," I grin, going to wipe the pink off my face before I get myself a new birthmark on my face.

Twenty minutes later, me and Hidan are covered in pink dye, but not nearly as much as Deidara. We're also both barely not falling on the ground with laughter. "This is the funnest day ever!" I exclaim.

"Yeah, well, if I were you I'd get the arsonist the hell out of your house. I mean, if you don't want it demolished."

"Good idea. Help."

He snorts. "This ain't my house. You're on your own, bitch."

I glare at him. "You have dye all over you. He'll blow your ass up too."

Hidan rolls his eyes. "Like the little bitch could. " But he does help me pick him up and carry him out of the house.

I take the arms and Hidan takes the feet, both of us barely not exploding with laughter.

"How far should we put him?" I ask, giggling.

"No amount of distance would be far enough."

So we drag his heavy ass three blocks, toward the junkyard since I insist on not letting innocent people have their asses 'sploded because of us. Unfortunately, this is when he stirs.

"Shit!" I yelp, dropping him and running. Hidan's right behind me, and even though we're running like hell, we're also laughing like maniacs.

We're around the corner when we hear the glorious sound: "WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO MY HAIR!"

We're another block away when the bombs start going off.

"What do we do?" I ask Hidan when we stop running to catch our breath.

"Go to your house, get your brother and the donuts, and get the fuck out of here!" Hidan replies, wheezing with laughter and windedness.

I nod and we haul ass back to my house, doing as he suggests. Although we spend the rest of the day running/hiding from a very pissed-off Deidara, I can honestly say that I regret nothing.

I'm totally being a hairstylist one day.

* * *

><p><strong>I am very happy with this chapter :D But I'm not very happy with the number of reviews...well, I shouldn't get all picky. Already I've had more visits for this story than ever before on any of my stories, although the number of visits dropped considerably for the last chapter :'( Anyways, I'll upload the next chapter at 25 reviews, and I mean it this time! I'll summon all my self-control and not update even if I have three chapterw typed! I think getting two long-ish chapters, and making Deidara get his hair dyes pink, is worth a few reviews, hmm? Now, REVIEW! Or Hidan and Mari will be at your house with pink hair dye tonight! Plus, no updates :P<strong>

**Anyways, the reason Hidan stayed the night is he wanted to watch as many horror-movies as possible, plus he's assigned to share a room with Kakuzu at the Akatsuki's house. 'Nuff said. As for Deidara, he saw beer, horror movies and an oppurtunity to pick on Mari and decided he wanted to come. He stayed the night to bother Mari and to watch movies.**

**Also, would anyone like to be my beta for this story? I've been asking Rainbow-she-teme and Hiaru-chan for help, but She-teme hasn't answered yet and Hiaru-chan's more the supportive type than the criticizing type. So, anyone wanna help me develop the antics of Mari? Please PM me! And everyone, thanks for reading!**

**-amy out**


	7. You Coconut AssRapist

**Holy hell, you guys! You hauled ass to 25 reviews! Damn, I thought it would take at least a couple days, but I'm not complaining. Anyways I wrote an outline -le gasp! Amy actually was organized!- and I have it planned all the way up to Chapter 21. WHOO!**

**I no own Naruto or Annoying Orange. Lyrics are from Headstrong by Trapt.**

* * *

><p>PRO of dying Deidara's hair pink: REVENGE IS SWEET!<p>

CON: It really did stain our couch...

PRO: Me and Hidan are now friends.

CON: Me and Hidan are now friends.

PRO: Even though I didn't get to see his reaction, if the explosions afterward are anything to judge by he was PISSED!

CON: I am now indirectly responsible for the $500,000 of property damage done to the junkyard and surrounding area.

PRO: I don't think Deidara's going to be coming to my house to irritate me anymore.

CON: I now have a psycopathic terrorist out to get me.

All in a day's work.

I laugh to myself as I ride my bike to Leaf High Monday morning. I relive the glorious scene of Deidara waking up in a junkyard with pink hair as I round the corner to the school. I mean, I didn't actually _see _it; me and Hidan were running for the hills as soon as he started to wake up. But I can imagine it pretty well. And what I imagine, is nothing short of hilarious. _I hope he tried to wash it with hot water, _I think gleefully. I read the directions on the label more carefully last night, and it said that they used a special formula that permeates the hair molecules deeper when warm, or something smart and scientific-sounding like that. I didn't really pay attention to the wording. What I remember is somewhat more basic, like this: HOT WATER = PINK STAY LONGER. PINK STAY LONGER = GOOD!

It takes all my willpower not to brag shamelessly about The Best Prank Ever when I plunk my stuff down at team Baka's table. "WAZZUP!" I greet them, throwing out my arms and leaning back.

Naruto's the only one who gets it. "WAZZUP!" he answers, mirroring my posture.

"WAZZUP!"

"WAZZUP!"

"_What _are you guy smoking?" asks a blonde girl to sakura's right.

"Shut up, Ino-pig," Sakura tells her halfheartedly. "It's from some internet video."

"The annoying orange!" me and Naruto declare heatedly, me adding "Man!" to the end.

The Emo Kid whose name I don't know snorts. "You would be refrencing that."

"Shut up, teme!" Naruto snaps immediately. "It's not our fault you have a pathetically annoying-orange-free life!"

"Hn," the kid grunts noncommitally. "I have you, don't I?"

_"And you always will," _I whisper in a breathy, mock-romantic voice, earning me a smack on the arm from Naruto and a glare from Emo Clown while Ino looks disgusted and Sakura rolls her eyes.

It's not until now that I take a good look at Emo Clown, and now that I do I realize that he bears a striking resemblance to..."Hey, Emo Clown, what's your name?"

He looks at me in mild confusion as Naruto snorts in laughter and Sakura facepalms. "'Emo Clown'?"

"Yep," I answer. "That's what I'ma call you from now on if you don't tell me your name."

"Hn." He looks at me skeptically, as if he's deciding whether or not I'm worthy to hear his name. Finally he answers, very condescendingly, "Uchiha Sasuke."

"Well, Uchiha Sasuke, you wouldn't happen to be related to Ita-"

The look on his face is enough to make me stop talking, my voice trailing off. Sakura facepalms again (she seems to do that a lot around me and Naru-kun) and Naruto looks like he's afraid Sasuke might explode. As for Ino, she just looks as confused as I am. Everyone else in Team Baka is still talking amongst themselves.

Sasuke lets the silence -and the glare- trail on...and on...

And on...

Until finally I sweatdrop and clear my throat. "Uh...you not like him much?"

Way to go, me. That only makes it worse.

"Calm down, Sasuke-kun," Sakura tells him nervously. "She doesn't know."

"What don't I know, man?"

"Itachi and me," Sasuke says slowly and through gritted teeth, "shared the same parents once. We were related in the past, but not anymore."

"Um...gotcha," I say, indicating that I have absolutely no idea what he means.

Sasuke finally ends the awkward silence by muttering, "See you," and stalking off to go be emo some more.

"What's up his ass?" I ask Naruto, earning a glare from Ino and yet another eye roll from Sakura.

"Itachi's...kind of a touchy subject with him," Naruto answers carefully.

"Yeah, no shit," I say. "He looked like he wanted to eat my liver with a spoon."

"More like a spork," Sakura says, looking in Sasuke's direction worriedly. "See, I don't know the details, but...the whole Uchiha family was killed, a few years ago, by the Leaf Police."

My eyes widen and my mouth drops open, but Sakura goes on: "I don't know exactly what happened, but the cops came and shot up the place, and...meth is very flammable, you know. Sasuke blames Itachi for the whole thing. Don't ask me why or how or when, because that's all I know."

"That's...that's fucked up," I mutter, feeling bad now, but mainly curious. If Itachi killed them, why isn't he in jail? Why are they both at the same school? What...why...huh?

Naruto nods. "Yeah. But don't worry, Teme's a total badass. He can take care of himself."

"Kinda moody, though, huh?"

"You have no idea," Naruto answers.

_Huh, _I think as I get up to go and get myself a breakfast of pizza and orange juice. _That's hardcore. What kinda guy would do that to his own family? This Itachi guy sounds like a major asshole. _Of course, I pretty much already knew that.

However, being the total idiot that I am, I can't stay so serious for long. Especially when I catch a glimpse of Deidara from the Akatsuki's table.

I bite my lip to smother my laugh. He's wearing a black hoodie that covers most of his hair, but I guess not even a horrible dye job can keep those bangs out of his face. It's not bright pink anymore, but apparently he was too embaressed or broke to go to a professional and tried to bleach it back himself. Instead of its customary shade of bright yellow blonde, the part me and Hidan pink-ified is almost white bleach-blonde, with a somewhat pink sheen if the light hits it just right. I can tell from all the way across the room. Plus, you can see a pink stain on his forehead where Hidan threw a bunch of the stuff on his face. (Idiot.) Heh heh. Dye is fucking hard to get off of your skin, I know from experience.

But even better than his awful hair colors is the expression on his face. PRICELESS. His usual smug, arrogant demeanor has been replaced by a moody, embarressed sulk. His shoulders are all hunched over and I can see him snapping angrily at the laughing Akatsuki members who dare talk to him.

This is when he notices me, shaking with silent laughter from across the room. His eye narrows, promising the most horrible punishments imaginable.

I grin at him evilly and return to sit with Team Baka to eat my pizza for breakfast.

_Pizza, _I think idly as I take a huge, warm, cheesy, sauce-y bite. _It's weird how you pronounce it PETE ZA, but there's no T in the word. It should be pizzzzza. Huh. It's like bologna. You say it BALONEY, but there's a G in there, what the fu-_

"May I have your attention please."

My dissection of the English language is interrupted by a crackling woman's voice over the intercom. The roar of high schoolers socializing dies down to silence as the voice continues: "As many of you know, over the weekend our town experienced a disturbing act of terrorism at the Willow Street Junkyard. Luckily no one was killed, but three people were injured and a large amount of damage was done to the area. We are now putting out a CrimeStoppers to the school. There will be a $50 reward for any information you may have as to who this terrorist may be. Thank you for your time and have a nice day."

"You're not welcome and don't tell me what kind of day to have," I mutter as the noise level rises back up.

Ino's nodding. "Yeah, I heard about that. It was right in your neighborhood, wasn't it, Mari?"

"Yeah."

"AWESOME!" Naruto exclaims. "Could you see the explosion from your house?"

A small smile starts to creep up onto my face as I try to wrestle it off. "K-kinda."

This is not lost on Sakura and she narrows her eyes. "Mari-chan," she says slowly. "You wouldn't happen to know anything about-"

"Hey look at the time I need to be going bye!" I shove the last bite of pizza into my face and rush off to throw my tray away.

* * *

><p>Unfortunately for me, Deidara doesn't really know how to take a joke.<p>

I don't have any classes with him so far (They also make the schedules super-complicated. There's a different one each week, so I guess I'll just have to see what happens. Fucking rich kids.), but when I leave third period (English), he's standing right outside the door, arms crossed and leaning against the locker.

I stop to face him, Naruto not noticing for a full five steps. Deidara's glaring at me with the utmost hatred, and I'm barely not laughing my ass off because I want to look at least somewhat threatening.

"_So,_" he seethes acidly.

"So," I agree, trying to force down a grin.

He scowls. "You think this is funny, hmm?"

"Nah," I say sarcastically as Naruto retraces his steps. "Girly prick having his hair dyed pink while he's passed out? How could I EVER find humor in that?"

He glares even more and leans over me. "You may be laughing now, _tough girl, _but we'll just see if you still think it's funny when your guts are splattered all over the fucking hallway, un!"

Usually when kids threaten things like that, it's easy for me to laugh it off and smack-talk right back. But this guy...whoa. He may be a prick, but he's serious. _Play a bluff play a bluff. _"Huh. I wonder who that could've been who blew up that junkyard? I bet he'd be in BIIIIIG trouble if someone were to tell."

"You can't tell anyone if you're fucking DEAD, un!"

"Yeah, yeah, we've already heard the idle threats," I say, waving my hand around in the air. "Been there, done that. I'd rather hear about how long you think you can keep that hood over your hair before someone sees your new hairstyle. You know, I think the pink actually makes you look more masculine."

This is when he gets violent. He grabs my shirt collar and spins me around into the lockers for the second time, the padlocks on them giving me a bruise on my back. "There's nothing _idle _about this threat," he says, livid. "In fact, it's not a threat. It's a _promise,_ un."

"Get off her!" Naruto yelps.

"Stay out of this, man," I snarl at him while struggling to get the psycho off me. "I can handle it!"

"Yeah," Deidara smirks, turning to look at Naruto. "She can handle it. Now run along, un."

Me and Deidara are back to our staredown. "Get. Off. NOW," I hiss.

"Make me, un."

"Last warning."

He just grins sadistically and presses his forearm against my throat.

I'm preparing to knee him in the stomach when I'm suddenly struck by how damn _close _we are. His knee is jamming into my thigh, his stomach on mine, his arms holding me down. And although there's absolutely nothing flirtatious about it at ALL -in fact, we're about five seconds away from an all-out fist fight- it's like someone hit me over the head with a frying pan, the impact is so extreme. And then something in my stomach...ignites. There's no other word for it. A burning feeling is devouring my insides...

And it freaks the living fuck out of me.

But I still can't move.

I make the mistake of looking again into his eyes, and, to my horror, he must know exactly what's going on in my head (And everywhere else.) because his hateful expression is slowly morphing into slight confusion, and then an unforgivable smugness comes over his face.

This all happens in the span of about five seconds, short enough that later I'll be able to convince myself it was, well, anything but what it actually is.

I finally jam my knee into his stomach twice, and that's all it takes before we're in an all-out war. My head slams into the lockers. My fist slams into his nose. He kicks me in the stomach. He throws me around by my hair. We scratch and bite, and I can tell this is one of the times I don't have the upper hand, and I'm losing and going down but not without a hell of a fight, but through the whole time there's this odd sense of elation in my stomach beneath the usual adrenaline and hate you feel when fighting. I've fought a couple guys before, but it's never felt like this. I'm not even close to understanding what it means. But just because I feel different doesn't mean I fight different. I'm as ruthless as he is, using every trick I can to cause him pain.

It's a blur, it's horrible, it's confusing, and it's the best fight I've ever had.

I don't know how long it lasts. It could be a minute or an hour, but we're eventually pulled apart -me by Naruto, Deidara by Pervy Sage.

"What the hell is going on?" Pervy Sage asks angrily, glaring at Deidara.

"A fucking fight, what does it look like, un?" Deidara snaps, resisting and trying to get back at me.

I'm also resisting Naruto, and it ends up taking three people to hold both of us back.

"You're gonna hurt each other!" some moron protests.

"That's pretty much the fucking point, isn't it?" I snarl, kicking and resisting to get back to pummeling the asshole who slammed me against the locker, who made me feel that weird feeling I'm sure is something bad, who fucking SMIRKED at me, with that stupid...fucking...smirk! PRICK!

"Both of you, office, now," Pervy Sage says harshly.

I stop struggling long enough to comprehend his words. I glare at Deidara and he glares at me. It's not until now that I see his hoodie has finally fell off, revealing his horrible bleaching of the once-pink hair, that I remember why the fight started.

_Huh. Kind of stupid, now that I think about it. Was that really why we got in a fight? _I wonder dazedly as we start to trudge toward the office. _Is that really why I was so mad? And what's with that other feeling? Why did it get so intense over a stupid prank? _

I look over at Deidara, as if seeing him would answer any questions. His nose is bleeding, he's all sweaty, some of his hair is falling out, and he looks pissed. He looks at me and snarls. "What are you lookin' at, un?"

I scowl. "A prick who just got his ass beat by a girl."

He rolls his eyes. I mean, I assume. I can only see the one. "Yeah, right. Have you looked at yourself lately, un?"

"No. I was kind of busy beating your ass, man."

"Whatever. You're getting a black eye, and your face is bruised. Plus, you were going down when they broke it up. I won that fight, un."

"Bullshit! I could've reduced you to tears in three seconds, man, but I don't believe in cheap shots!"

"And I could've annihalated you in _two _seconds, but I was taking it easy on you, un."

I glare at him. "You had better not have been."

He grins at me as we turn a corner. "I was. See, there's no fun in beating down someone when you know you can win. I'd rather just mess with your head, un."

"Rematch. Now."

"I don't think so," says Pervy Sage. We both jump, not having noticed he was there. "You two, stop flirting and get to the office."

"We aren't flirting, man!" I snap.

Pervy Sage looks somewhat amused. "Of course you weren't. Now march."

"Tch," I say, but I turn around and do as he says.

We walk in silence all the way to the principal's office.

"Come in!" calls a woman's voice.

I open the door and enter the room first to see a very pretty busty blonde woman with her feet on the desk next to a bottle of beer. Not at all what I was expecting. Upon seeing us she raises an eyebrow. "Jiraiya?"

"Lover's spat," he says in answer. "They went at it in the halls."

"I see." She moves her feet to the ground and looks at the two of us, first at me, then at Deidara, before chuckling. "Who won?"

"Me," me and Deidara answer at the same time. We turn to glare at each other.

"No way, un! I totally won!"

"You wish, dude! I had a foot up your mangina and out through your mouth!" I snap.

He opens his mouth to answer, then closes it, and opens it again, a confused expression on his face. "_What?"_

I shrug, somewhat embaressed. "I'm not brilliant all the time, okay? Point is, I won, you lost, mangina."

"You did not, and what is the _matter_ with you, un?"

"Let me get the goddamn list," I snap.

It's not until now that we notice Pervy Sage busting up laughing. "Remind you of anyone, Tsunade?"

"Jiraiya, this is serious," Tsunade answers harshly, although I can see the corners of her mouth twitching. "As for you two, detention after school. _Together._"

"WHAT!" I exclaim.

"You heard her, un."

I round on Deidara. "Shut up, you coconut assrapist!"

He stares at me for a full five seconds. "What...the...hell? Un?"

Okay, even I have to admit that made no sense at all, so I just stick my tongue out in answer.

"Hey!" Tsunade snaps while Pervy Sage is chomping on his hand to keep from bursting out laughing. "Watch your mouths in my office! Now go wash clean yourselves up and get back to class."

"Gladly." I turn my back on them and swing open the door, stalking off toward the girl's bathroom. If I can FIND the stupid thing.

"Hey, tough girl, un," Deidara calls after a second.

Reluctantly I turn to face him, hand on my hip. "I have a name, you know."

He looks at me for a second, like I'm some kind of riddle he can't figure out. Then the look of vague confusion is gone, and his default smirk in its place. "Good fight, un."

I look at him suspiciously, but...well, it was. "Good fight. Now fuck off, you prick."

And we go our seperate ways, me still confused.

* * *

><p>Wouldn't it be nice if I could just go through Biology without having to talk to Hidan?<p>

And wouldn't it also be nice if gossip didn't spread like wildfire, especially when a boy-on-girl fight is involved?

And wouldn't it be nice if chocolate bars and System of a Down CDs were falling from the sky?

"So I heard you and Blondie fucked each other up," he says as I sit down. "Have you gone down on him yet?"

I roll my eyes at him, having already heard from EVERYONE that me and Deidara MUST be in LUUUV. "Never, that's totally disgusting and you'll never get a girl if you talk like that, man."

"I'll _get _whatever I can fucking _take." _

I look at him, leaning away somewhat. "You're a freaky mother fucker."

"Thanks, bitch."

"Wasn't a compliment, fucknuts."

We trade insults for another few minutes in between taking crappy notes.

"But seriously," Hidan says, throwing me off because I'm collecting as much odd profanity as possible in my arsenal, "did his hair look ridiculous or what?"

I snort. "Totally ridiculous. Like strawberry ice cream only with a LOT of bleach."

Hidan laughs out loud, earning us several glares. "You guys get detention?"

"No, they were actually cool about it," I answer sarcastically. "No shit we got detention. We fought in the middle of the hallway,man. Which reminds me," I say remembering something from last week. "You told me the principal was a dude from the Akatsuki. She's a chick."

"Yeah. I fucking lied," Hidan grins at me.

"You're such a fucking asshole."

"What was your first clue?"

* * *

><p>I spend seventh hour taking a better look at myself. There's a bruise on my right cheek, a pretty bad one too, and my eye hidden behind my bangs is somewhat blackened. My lip's busted, my hair's falling out, I have numerous scratches, you can see the outline of Deidara's hand gripping my arm, and my back's all sore.<p>

Now _that_ was a fight. I'm all sore and starting to hurt now, but man, that was kinda fun. I don't usually enjoy fights. Usually I'm either doing it reluctantly because someone asked for it, or I have a horrible sense of fun going apeshit on the other guy that I feel horrible about later, but this time it was more like we were moshing or something. I've never wanted to hurt someone so much before, without actually having a good reason to want to. It was just all in the moment, no strings attatched, brawling.

I redo my hair and turn on my iPod to hear a great song:

_Back off, I'll take you on!_

_Headstrong, I'll take on anyone!_

_I know that you are wrong,_

_Headstrong- HEADSTRONG!_

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><p><strong>I'm sorry if my redo of the Uchiha tragedy sucks. It won't have a large part in the plot, so sorry, Uchiha fangirls and anime purists.<strong>

**So, yep, this is Mari's second fight within a week. Any thoughts? It was weird for me writing the uncertain-attraction thing, but I think I did a pretty good job...do you? I'm desperate for feedback, people! ****I'm thinking I won't put up an account of their detention, but if I get enough long reviews, hmm, my mind just might be changed...*evil laughter***

**I actually ended up really liking this chapter :) So, thanks a lot for your speedy reviews! I love you, I won't put a deadline on this one but please review (Especially if you want to hear about their detention!), and thanks for reading!**

**-amy out**


	8. Rainbow Unicorn Attack

**I didn't take much persuading, did I? :D Here ya go, the Detention scene!**

**I don't own Naruto, Burger King, or Jeff Dunham. I don't even own a majority of Tobi's dialogue. (For an explanation of this, see the AN at bottom.) The lyrics used are from Teenagers by My Chemical Romance.**

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><p>At the end of math class I get the Detention slip: 'Report to room 215 for your detention'. Then there's this flamboyant signature I can't read at all. I think there might be a 'g' in there somewhere. People should just print their stupid names and not try to be a fuckin' Michelangelo with their signatures. All those decorations. You're not <em>that <em>important, dude.

"Hey, Sakura," I ask as the bell rings and we shuffle around to pack up our stuff. "Can you show me where the Detention Room is?"

"Huh?" She looks at me, totally confused. "There's no Detention Room."

"Well, where's _this _room, man?" I concede, handing her the detention slip.

She glances briefly at the paper, then back at me. "I assume this is for the fight you had with Deidara?"

"You assume correctly, dude."

She narrows her eyes, putting a hand on her hip. "And you know nothing about the bombing over the weekend?"

"Sakuraaaaaa..." I whine, but she doesn't relent. "Fine. If I tell you, will your promise not to narc?"

"Only if it'll hurt someone."

I roll my eyes. "Such a good citezen, man. Okay, we pissed Deidara off and so he started exploding things. Happy?"

Sakura looks at me suspiciously. "What made him so mad?"

"We dyed his hair pink," I say with a small giggle. I doubt I'll ever cease to find that hilarious.

I watch as a smile slowly creeps onto her face until she's chuckling right along with me. "That would explain it."

"Yeah. But seriously, man, could you show me where room 215 is?" I ask again, ready to change the subject.

"Sure."

I follow her through the halls, giving her a play-by-play of the Best Prank Evah and making her snort with laughter at my imitation of his numerous facial expressions, even the ones that I didn't actually witness.

When I mention that I have detention with Deidara, though, she looks a little worried. "Are you scared?" she asks, somewhat concerned.

I snort. "Hell no! What's to be scared of?"

"He seems really mean."

"I'm meaner," I grin.

"You're pretty messed up from the fight."

"So's he."

Sakura looks unsure but she lets the matter drop."It's this one right here," she says, pointing toward some door. 215, I guess.

"Thanks," I say, putting a hand on the doorknob. "See ya later, Sakura."

"Later, Mari."

I open the door, expecting to see a bunch of bored-looking kids sitting in desks being watched by a stern-looking teacher.

What I saw was something else entirely.

Picture this: a black-haired man in a bright green jumpsuit is talking animatedly to some dude wearing a brown mask over his face, who's holding a bright green poster.

Already weird, and getting weirder.

Toward the right-hand wall is the red-haired kid I met last week (what's his name again...?), balancing on Deidara's shoulders to pin a poster onto the wall, looking totally unfazed by this, might I add.

Deidara is struggling to keep the boy from toppling off of his back, looking like he's got a freaking _person_ standing on his shoulders. Which is to say, very, very fazed.

Kisame (whose name I remember because he has gills) is standing nearby, leaning against a sink and laughing at them.

A blonde boy is taking down posters in the far left corner, looking like he's trying his hardest not to exist.

And weirdest of all, is a kid with black hair and a bright orange mask running around spilling thumbtacks everywhere.

This looks more like everyone took a hit of LSD than a detention in session.

I close the door behind me quietly and start to debate who to ask what to do.

Deidara, needless to say, is not a candidate.

Sasori -I remember his name now!- is also not a candidate, since talking to him would mean talking to Deidara.

The kid in the orange mask looks mentally retarded.

The man wearing green is creeping me out from all the way across the room. Ditto for the dude wearing a brown mask.

That leaves Kisame and the kid who looks like he's about to crap himself.

"Hey, Sharkie, what the hell's going on?"

He stops laughing long enough to look at me and raise an eyebrow. "'Sharkie'?"

I nod. "You've just been nicknamed. Congratulations. But seriously, dude, who are all these people?"

He gives a small chuckle. "Well, you already know Deidara."

"Unfortunately."

"The one standing on his shoulders is Sasori."

"Check. The weird dude in green?"

"Gai," Kisame snorts. "He's supposed to be our teacher. He's also an idiot."

I nod. That's not real hard to believe; the man is now striking some sort of pose with a thumbs-up in the air. I don't even want to know..."The one talking to him?"

"Kakuzu. And the idiot running around like a maniac is Tobi."

"Is the kid mentally rearded or soemthing?"

"You have no idea, un," Deidara says.

I turn and glare at him. "I wasn't asking you."

"I answered anyways, un! And Danna, are you freaking done yet?" he snaps, wobbling from the weight.

"Sit still brat!" the boy on his shoulders responds.

"'Danna'?" I ask, scrunching up my face in confusion. "Uh...what kind of 'master' are we talking here?"

Kisame snorts with laughter and Deidara and Sasori both glare at me, although Sasori with more of a disdainful glare than Deidara's you-bout-to-get-sploded evil eye. "He's my teacher, un!"

It's unnecessary and immature, but I can't resist. "Teacher of _what, _man? Is this the first time he's been on top of you, Dei-da-ra?"

Kisame's laughing out loud now, Sasori's looking at me like I just evolved from pond scum, and Deidara's about to blow a lug nut. "Get off me, Sasori-danna, I have to kill the bitch!"

"Your Danna wouldn't like you chasing after a girl without his permission," I tease evilly.

"GET OFF, UN!"

"Yeah, man, and that sounds completely plutonic."

"Me and the brat are not dating," Sasori says calmly and deadly serious, for a guy who's still balancing on another guy's shoulders. "We never will be. We are not gay. Deidara calls me danna as a formality. That is all."

Well, geez, it's kind of hard to argue with someone who's smart. It kind of makes me feel even stupider by comparison.

"That's what they all say," Kisame adds, ending my awkward moment of indecision.

However before Sasori and PrickHead can round on him, a blur of orange bursts through, pelting us with thumbtacks. "CONFETTI TIME!"

"OW! Fuck!" Deidara yelps as Tobi knocks them down, them landing in a heap on the ground.

"Sempai said the f-e-k word!" the maasked boy gasped in a childlike voice.

"I KNOW WHAT I SAID, UN!"

"That's not how you spell fuck, man," I say noncommitally.

"Pretty girl said the f-e-k word too!"

My eye twitches. "'Pretty girl'?"

"That's your name," he tells me happily.

"Uh, no it's not, dude. My name's Mari."

"MARI-CHAN!" he screams, glomping me.

"What the fuck? Don't call me 'chan', weirdo!"

"Mari-chan said the f-e-k word!"

"U, man!" I snap at him as I try to pry him off my body.

"NO, Tobi didn't say it! Tobi is a good boy!"

"NO, I mean you spell it f-u-c-k, not f-e-k."

He stops moving and speaking for a full four seconds. "Ohhh."

Just when I'm thinking maybe he used up all his manic energy, he starts jumping around again. "RAINBOW UNICORN ATTACK!"

"The hell?"

"Mari's name is Rainbow Unicorn Attack!" he declares happily.

I just stare at him, at a loss for words for the first time in my life. Finally I turn to Kisame. "What is this guy smoking?"

"Tobi doesn't smoke! Tobi is a good boy!"

"Yeah, we know this. You've told us about eighty THOUSAND times, un," Deidara snaps.

"But Tobi hasn't told Rainbow Unicorn Attack!"

"Stop calling me that," I snap. "And stop hugging me!"

"But Rainbow Unicorn Attack is so squishy!" he whines.

"_Squishy?" _

"Tobi likes to hug Rainbow Unicorn Attack-chan!"

"Does anyone have a tranquilizer gun?" I ask the class in general.

"We've tried it. It doesn't work on him," Kisame tells me.

"GET THE HELL OF OF ME!" I scream as the boy seems to be trying to climb onto my shoulders.

"So youthful!" declares a gay-sounding voice from behind me. "But cut the horseplay in detention!"

"Tell HIM that, man!" I yelp. "I came to ask Sharkie what I'm supposed to do when this psycho assaulted me!"

"Sharkie...?"

"Tobi will help Rainbow Unicorn Attack!"

"NO YOU WON'T!"

"Tobi! We can make use of your youthfulness elsewhere!"

"But Tobi wants to stay with pretty Mari-chan!"

"Don't call me pretty, or -chan!"

"Can Tobi call you Rainbow Unicorn Attack?"

"NO!"

"Tobi," Sasori finally cuts in, "Dear Mari-chan would like you to go help Gai."

Tobi gasps. "REALLY! Tobi will not let Rainbow Unicorn Attack down!"

And that's all it takes for the little crackhead to follow Gai across the room.

I take a deep breath. "What was _that_?"

"_That _was Tobi, un," Deidara answers, chuckling. "I think he likes you," he adds mockingly.

I glare at him. "Shut up and pull the damn thumbtacks out of your ass."

"'_Dear Mari-chan'?" _Kisame asks Sasori with a grin pulling on the edge of his mouth. "I had no idea she meant so much to you."

"It got him to leave, did it not?"

"Okay, how does any of this count as detention?" I ask no one in particular.

"We're supposed to be helping the Idiot redecorate his classroom," Kisame explains.

"Well, I feel punished," I say sarcastically. "How'd you guys end up in here?"

Kisame snorts. "The usual. Apparently the golden carp in the main office aren't free sushi."

My eyes widen and I laugh. "No way, man!"

He nods proudly.

"That's the coolest reason for detention ever, dude!" I exclaim. "Mine's lame, all I did was beat the shit out of a lesbian."

"And after that," Deidara puts in as Kisame laughs and Sasori smiles slightly, "you pissed off a badass, who then beat the shit out of you."

"Hey Deidara, how long you spend trying to bleach your hair yesterday? Cuz it was time wasted, man."

"How much time did you spend hiding from me on Saturday?"

I snort. "What are you talking about, me and Hidan just went to Burger King. You're not very thorough in your searching methods, Sakura."

"Sakura? What the he- oh very funny," Deidara snaps as he finally gets it.

Kisame and Sasori are listening to/watching our banter with varying degrees of hilarity. "You guys should get your own show," Kisame tells us through laughter.

"They are entertaining, aren't they?" Sasori says conversationally.

"Would you idiots stop fooling around and help finish putting these posters up so we can get the hell out of here?" asks brown-mask-dude, suddenly joining the conversation.

"Who're you?" I ask him.

"Kakuzu," he growls at me. "Now quit with the stupid questions."

"Geez, man, who crapped in your cornflakes?"

He glares at me and I get a better look at his green eyes and brown skin. Creepy. "The loud-mouthed idiot who got me caught breaking into the school's safe."

"What'd Hidan do this time, un?" Deidara asks, making the connection much faster than I did.

"What _didn't _he do, is more like it."

"I must say I'm surprised," Sasori interjects. "It's not often you have detention and Hidan doesn't."

"Well, it's about to be," Kakuzu grouches. "I have detention for two weeks."

Sasori rolls his eyes. "That's nothing. Once I got detention for a full month."

"I remember that, un," Deidara grins, looking at his danna (giggle). "Damn, that was fun!"

"What'd you guys _do?" _I ask, forgetting my hatred for Deidara in my curiosity. My record for longest Detention is a week and a half, and I consider myself a professional troublemaker.

"You don't get to know, un," Deidara tells me smugly.

Kisame chuckles. "Here's a hint: 'It's the gay puppet bomber! There's lotion on his puppet's ass!'"

I stare at him in silence. "Isn't that a Jeff Dunham line?"

Kisame nods. "It still sums it up well enough, though."

"Okay, man, now I HAVE to know what happened."

"Too bad, un."

"At least a hint, dude!"

"Nope, un."

"Okay, well, I get where the bombing thing comes in, but _puppets_?" I ask, bemused.

"Don't disrespect my art," Sasori tells me, deadly serious.

Deidara snorts. "_Art. _Sure it is."

Sasori turns to glare at Deidara. "Of course my puppets are art. Art is eternal beauty!"

"Bullshit! Art is a fleeting, memorable moment of explosion!"

"Eternal!"

"Explosion!"

"Expression!" I chime in.

They stop arguing long enough to give me weird looks. "Come again?" Sasori asks.

"Art is expression," I explain. "Being able to capture a pure emotion, with any medium, _that's _art, man."

"And it's preserving those emotions for eternity that perfects art," Sasori says cooly.

"NO! Emotions are fleeting, just like true art!" Deidara argues heatedly. "Besides, what do _you _know about it? You're not an artist!"

"I will be!" I argue. "I'm gonna be a rockstar!"

I get another strange stare before explaining: "Music is the purest form of expression, man! And rock is the best kind of music!"

"That's retarded," Deidara snorts. "Any idiot can go on stage and wear flashy clothes and lip sync to some song, un."

"Not with rock," I snap. "You can't fake true art. You have to _mean _it to be able to _express _it!"

"That makes NO sense, un!"

"Oh, because blowing stuff up and calling that 'art' does?"

"YES, UN!"

"Shut up and get to work!" Kakuzu snaps at us, dumping posters and tape into our arms.

"Art is expression!"

"Art is a blast!"

"You're both idiots!" Kakuzu cuts in again.

We glare at each other for another second before turning around to go hang up the posters.

"Great," Kisame says as we start to tape posters -a grand majority having the word 'youth' somewhere on them- onto the walls. "Now Deidara has someone else to argue about art with."

"He has no idea what art is," I grumble. "'Art is a blast'? That's just stupid, man. Art's supposed to build people up, not tear them down."

"Yeah, yeah. Pass the scotch tape."

We've put up two posters when I have another question. "Do you know why Sasori and Tobi got detention?"

"Oh, Tobi doesn't have detention," Kisame answers, somewhat grudgingly. "I don't understand it. He does as much shit as we do, but the little idiot never gets caught. Same as Itachi, but at least _that _makes sense."

"Huh? Itachi? How does he tie into all this?"

"I'm honor-bound not to tell."

"Oh." I tape the bottom-left corner down. "Well, if Tobi doesn't have detention, why's he here?"

"He's supposed to stay with his sempai."

"Which is..."

"Deidara."

"Gotcha. And Sasori?"

Kisame looks breifly over at Sasori and Deidara, who are now stapling posters to the wall. Well, Sasori is. Deidara's trying to un-staple his sleeve from the wall. "I think he tried to drug a teacher."

"...Whoa."

_They say all teenagers scare_

_The living shit outta me_

_They could care less_

_As long as someone'll bleed..._

These teenagers are hardcore, I can tell you that much.

"By the way," Kisame mentions, "did you really dye Blondie's hair pink?"

I grin. "Hidan helped."

Kisame throws his head back in laughter. "That's funny! I wish I'd been there."

"I would, too," I answer, laughing. "I'll remember that to my dying day."

"And so will Deidara."

"Heh."

We hang up a few more posters.

"Hey," I say, something just having occured to me. "All of you guys in here, seem to know each other pretty well. Other than that dude in the corner."

"Yeah," Kisame laughs mischeviously. "I think he's scared of us." Then he turns to grin toothily at me, displaying his razor-sharp fangs. Soooo cool... "In fact, I'm a little surprised you aren't over there cowering with him, what with a room full of Akatsuki and such."

"A room full...you mean you're _all _in the Akatsuki?" I yelp. "Even the retarded kid in the orange mask?"

"Yep," Kisame answers proudly. "We're pretty much regulars in detention."

I sweatdrop at the thought of so many gang members in one room. "How many of you _are _there?"

He grins at me again. "That's for me to know and you to find out."

"No shit. Hey, gimme that back, I was using that," I snap as I yank the tape out of his hands.

He looks at me strangely. "You're kind of strange, you know that?"

I shrug. "Well, look who's talking. You're freaking _blue._"

"Which would freak most girls out."

I roll my eyes. "Don't clump me together with those idiots. I hate teenage girls."

Kisame clears his throat and looks at me pointedly.

"Well, I hate _other _teenage girls," I amend. "They're annoying."

"We can agree on that, at least."

It would be the shark-human-hybrid that I can identify with the most. I mean, I've met, how many...um, okay...seven, yeah, seven Akatsuki members, four of which are freakin' hot, but of those three there's only one I don't hate (Sasori). As for the ones that aren't hot and aren't Kisame, they wear masks and act like either an asshole or a retarded four-year-old on crack. Anyways, you'd think the guy I can actually talk to would at least be of my own species.

Oh, well. I'm talking to a dude with gills. Who cares what species he is?

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><p><strong>This was so much fun to write because I literally had no planning whatsoever for this chapter. I just took advice from reviewers on who should be in Detention with Mari and started typing. As for Tobi, basically everything he says in this chapter (from spelling fuck wrong to Rainbow Unicorn Attack) is from a kid at school. I swear, the kid actually does call me rainbow unicorn attack. Yeah, I'm going to be using that kid as inspiration for Tobi for this story. Look, I love Tobi as a character, but as a person he'd be fucking irritating.<strong>

**Anyways, I'm not gonna go back and correct typos cuz I am TIRED! Anyways, please review and thanks for reading!**

**-amy out**


	9. Suck It Up And Tango!

**I'M BAAAAACK! Prepare for some funny!**

**I do not own Naruto, Skittles, Disney-Pixar, Resident Evil, Charlie's Angels, or Robin Hood. (I bet you're already interested in how these are relevant, huh?)**

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><p>You've never truly eaten breakfast until you've had mozzarella sticks, Skittles and milk in your school cafeteria at 7:30 in the morning. People keep looking at me funny because I'm the only one in the junk food line, but who cares? HA HA! Cheese sticks for breakfast!<p>

Being in a rich kid's school does have its benefits. One of which is being able to eat what you please for breakfast. It almost makes up for the school system being so damn confusing. I've been late to almost half my classes so far. And I don't want to ask for a guide; with my luck I'd end up getting Sasuke or someone else equally obnoxious.

But, I think I've almost got the schedule thing down. Third, fourth, sixth, and eighth period are the same all semester. My electives -first, second, and fifth- change every odd week. I still get seventh period to myself. This week my electives are Woodshop, Career Investigations and Gym. I think I'm supposed to tell somebody which electives I want after I try them all. I'm really not accustomed to this much convenience.

Hmm. I wonder if I should get a donut, too. Yes, a donut sounds like a very good idea right now. In fact, why am I still standing here without a donut on my tray? I wonder what a donut tastes like if you dip in in marinara sauce. I should try -

"BAH!"

I jump and swivel around toward the sudden noise like a ninja, only to see there are no evil samurai to fight. Only Deidara and Sasori are there.

"Don't _do _that, man!" I snap as Deidara laughs. Sasori, apparently wanting no part in this, sidesteps around us to get to the drinks machine.

"And why shouldn't I, un?" he chuckles, smirking at me evilly. "You scared is hilarious, un."

I narrow my eyes. "You covered in milk is hilarious."

"What -oh, don't you da-"

The rest of his sentence trails off into an incoherent groan as I pour my milk all over him. "You little bitch, un!"

I sigh dramatically. "Great, Deidara, you made me waste my milk on you. You should be more considerate, man."

Deidara, as we've already established, doesn't know how to take a joke. He immediately grabs my marinara sauce and throws it on me, getting my shirt all saucy.

"HA!" I shout triumphantly. "My shirt's already red, so it won't stain! I win!"

Look, everybody has the right to be retarded. Don't get jealous cause I'm better at it than you.

Deidara stares at me contemplatively for a moment, then smacks the bottom of my tray upwards so that my food falls.

"My breakfast! You asshole!" I glare at Deidara.

"Deidara!" Sasori snaps. "Come on! You're not getting into another fight with this girl."

Deidara smirks on me. "Don't worry, Danna. It's not a fight if one person can't do shit about it, un."

And they turn to leave before I have time to figure out what that means.

"Oh…oh YEAH?" I flounder as he walks away.

Then I look down at my now-empty tray. Well, my food's gone anyways. I throw it Frisbee-style at the back of Deidara's head.

Unfortunately, I'm a terrible aim. It sails right past him, going on to hit an innocent bystander in the eye. "OW!"

"Shit!" I curse.

Deidara turns to grin at me triumphantly once more before following Sasori to the Akatsuki table, leaving me to deal with the mess we just made and a pissed-off white haired stranger.

He glares at me. "You wanna tell me why you threw a tray at me?"

"Uh…" Before I can think of a good lie some red-haired chick with glasses jumps up.

"How dare you?" she screeches. "You could've hit Sasuke-kun!"

The white-haired dude rolls his eyes and I notice for the first time that Sasuke is in fact sitting next to him.

"Oh, he could've dodged," I wave my hand dismissively.

"But what if he hadn't?" she challenges.

"If you're so concerned, why didn't you jump in front of it?" I ask, starting to get annoyed with this chick.

"I would have!" she declares passionately. "I'll take the blow for my Sasuke-kun happily!"

"Shut up, Karin," white-haired-boy snaps. "It didn't even hit Sasuke, it hit me."

"Luckily, or I would've had to beat this girl's ass!"

I laugh at her. "Oh really? Bring it, Emo Clown Groupie."

"'Emo Clown'?" she asks darkly.

"That's Sasuke's nickname," I tell her casually as the boy I hit with a tray snickers. "Got a problem with that?"

"Of course I have a problem with that!" she snaps. "I won't have you insulting my Sasuke-kun!"

"_Your _Sasuke?" I ask skeptically.

"Yes, mine! And if you so much as _look _at him-"

"Don't worry, I don't wanna date Emo Clown," I snort, laughing at the idea. Emo guys do nothing for me, and jerks do even less. In fact, I just don't like guys in general. Or, come to think of it, people.

"Don't CALL him that!"

"Karin," Sasuke snaps, finally joining the conversation. "Be quiet."

"O-okay," she says, settling down immediately.

I stare at her in amazement. "Wow. You're his bitch."

She glares at me but doesn't say anything. Wouldn't want to upset dear Sasuke.

"_Psst, Karin," _the white-haired boy whispers, leaning over the table toward her. "_I'm your conscience. Sasuke doesn't like you._"

I snort with laughter as she reaches across the table and smacks him.

"_I'm also your conscience," _I hiss, trying to keep my laughter in check. "_Hitting this guy won't change the fact."_

This is when Sasuke gets up and leaves.

"Aw, we scared him off," I laugh. "Better run after him, he might like you more at the next table."

"Shut up, bitch," Karin snaps at me, before -big surprise- following Sasuke.

"Is she for real?" I ask the white-haired dude.

"Yep," he answers, snickering.

"Damn. Well, sorry for hitting you with a tray, dude. I was aiming for someone else."

"Watching you piss off Karin was worth it," he grins mischievously. That's when I notice-

"Holy shit! Your teeth are freaking sharp!" I say excitedly. "Awesome!"

He grins wider. "I often get that reaction in females. I create feelings in others that they themselves can't understand."

I roll my eyes. "You totally got that from a Disney-Pixar movie."

"Doesn't make it any less true!"

"Suuure it doesn't." I grin back at him. "What's your name?"

"Suigetsu. My place or yours?"

"The fuck?"

He bursts out laughing at my expense. "HA HA! Your face! You were all like, _No way, he actually wants to go out with me! All my dreams just came true!_"

"No, I was more like, _Why the mother fuck does he think he deserves my awesomeness?"_

He shakes his head and waggles a finger at me. "Don't lie, honey, you were totally thrilled."

"Don't you _ever _call me that again," I say, halfway between laughter and disgust.

"_Honey," _he says immediately, like I knew he would.

"If I'm 'honey', you're Rainbow Daisy Sunshine," I warn him.

"AW, we already have pet names for each other," he drawls in an "oh how cute" voice as he slings an arm over my shoulder.

I put my hand up and push his face away. "Dream on, Albino Dick."

"Albino Dick?"

"That _is _what I said." I adjust my backpack strap. "Anyways, name's Mari. I have to get out of here before some teacher comes and wants me to clean up that mess or something."

He gives me a blank stare, but I can tell he's trying not to laugh. "Is this a bad time to mention the teacher headed this way?"

"Fuck!" I spin around to see that yes, indeed, a purple-haired teacher is headed straight for me. "You asshole!" I hiss at Suigetsu.

"This should be funny," he snickers.

I raise the 'oh really?' eyebrow. Then I say in a voice just loud enough for the approaching teacher to hear, "GEE, Suigetsu, why'd you DO that?"

"Do what?" he asks, confused.

"Make that big mess over there," I warble, pointing. "That was really inconsiderate."

He opens his mouth angrily to reply, but the teacher -finally getting to us- cuts him off. "Save it, sister," she says in a hard-as-nails voice. "I saw everything."

"Great," I curse under my breath.

Suigetsu grins. "Score one for the albino."

I give him a nice kick in the kneecap. "Shut up!"

"Go away, Suigetsu," the teacher advises. "I won't hesitate to light your ass on fire for no reason."

He looks somewhat scared and I smile slightly -which is not wasted on Miss Sparta. "I wouldn't be acting smug, you little hothead, you. With you I _have _a reason."

"Damn."

Suigetsu smugly walks away, leaving me to deal with possibly the Scariest Motherfucking Teacher Ever. Now that I get a good look at her, she doesn't seem like the teachering type at all. More like a roller derby beast. "So. There a reason you made that mess, or do I have to eat your soul?"

I blink in surprise, but answer, "Someone was asking for it."

"I can relate to that," she nods. She looks thoughtful for a moment, and then said, "Okay, we'll skip the soul-eating part today. Just clean up the mess and don't give me another opportunity to eat you alive, 'kay?"

I don't doubt she would, either. "'Kay."

She leaves and I venture out to go find a mop, thinking over my conversation with Suigetsu and Karin. _Now I have another freaky-ass friend and another bitchy enemy. Swell. _

* * *

><p>I open my journal -I'm in third period English, sitting next to Naruto of course- to see the note Pervy Sage wrote in red ink next to my last journal assignment: <em>Smartass. 90. <em>

I grin. Oh, so we're allowed to cuss now? Well, he brought this on himself.

Let's see, today's prompt: _If you could have any superpower, what would it be? _

I snort. Pretty uncreative prompt, if you ask me, but whatever. This'll be easy.

_If I could have any superpower, _I write, _I'd want to be an invisible ninja. _

I look up to ask Naruto what his superpower would be before expanding on mine, but I'm halted from my question by a horrible sight.

He's raven-haired, pale-skinned, completely void of human emotion, and _in my third period class. _

What in the ever-living hell is Itachi doing here?

I glare at him suspiciously as he talks to Pervy Sage, even though he's not looking at me at all. "Naruto!"

"What!"

"What is Itachi doing in here?"

He looks up at the dude with mild interest. "I don't know. Is he an office aide or something?"

Before I can answer that how should I know whether he's a freakin' office aide or not, Pervy Sage answers my question. "Class! We have a new student, Uchiha Itachi."

I place my forehead on my desk. Well, 'place' might be a little too mild of a word. 'Bang' might be more appropriate, seeing how it produced a sound that caused everyone to look at me for three seconds.

"Erm...okay...please find a seat, Itachi," Pervy Sage tells him.

It's not until now that I notice the empty seat situation in this classroom. Or, the lack of such. The only empty seat is directly to the left of me. _Shit! _

"Naruto!" I hiss as Itachi starts walking toward us. "Switch me seats!"

"Why?"

"Why do you think? I don't wanna sit next to this twad!"

"Twad?"

"That's not the point! Switch me seats!"

"I don't wanna sit by him either," Naruto hisses at me.

"Oh, fuck you!"

This is when our conversation is halted because Itachi takes his seat next to me.

I glare at him out of the corner of my eye. He blanks at me (there's no other word for it).

I force my attention back to my journal entry. _I'd basically be the most badass ninja ever, like the chick from Resident Evil mixed with a Charlie's Angel. I'd definetly carry around a machete, there's no question about it. _

"I heard you dyed Deidara's hair pink while he was passed out."

Itachi's solemn voice almost makes me jump, seeing as how I wasn't him expecting to show signs of being a human. "Uh, yeah. It was pretty awesome," I grin, as I always do when I think of a pink-haired Deidara.

"It was a childish prank," Itachi tells me stoicly. (**A/N: I don't know the adverb for that, okay?) **

I glare, repressing the urge to stick my tongue out at him. Eveything about this guy irritates me. He's all snooty and stoic and superior-acting. _Oh, look at me, I have no emotions so I'm better than everybody! _Well fuck that!

"Well, _some_ of us have a sense of humor," I mutter.

"Yes, that is true," Itachi answers, with a trace of humor in his voice. (Le gasp! I guess he does have a soul after all. Who knew?) "How could I ever critique the sense of humor of a fourteen-year-old girl who likes My Little Pony?"

My jaw practically drops to the ground in outrage. "What the -how did you even-"

"If you were wanting to keep that a secret from me," Itachi says, humor definetly audible now, "it would've been a good idea to refrain from writing it down."

I'm now aware of the stupid outraged look on my face, jaw hanging and frowing as I'm unable to think of a good response. I shut my mouth and glare at him acidicly. "Whatever."

And with that stunningly witty response, I go back to writing about how amazing of a ninja I would be. _I'd be like a modern-day Robin Hood chick, beating up the rich for the entertainment of the poor. I know that's not how Robin Hood actually did it, but how awesome would it have been if he had, right? _

I write a few more sentences about my hypothetical ninja-ness before turning to Naruto. "Hey! Are you done yet?"

"Yup."

"Trade me!"

We trade and read each other's entries. Naruto's power would be the abillity to run so fast that you couldn't even see him. Personally I think the kid doesn't need any help in the fast-running department, but whatever, it's his call what kind of powers he wants.

"Cool," I say as I hand his notebook back to him. "Like the Flash."

Naruto gives me a blank look. "The what?"

"The Flash," I say slowly. "He's a superhero whose power is the ability to run really really fast."

Naruto's mouth drops open in total surprise. "What!"

He looks so angry about it that I have to laugh. "It'll be okay, Naruto. The Flash is like the coolest superhero ever."

"I thought it was an original idea!" he whines.

"Oh, it'll be fine. Mine's even less original, I refrenced like three other people."

"Yeah, you did," Naruto grins. "Wasn't it, Resident Evil chick, Charlie's Angels-"

"And Robin Hood," I finish, nodding at him.

"Oh, yeah." Naruto looks at him curiously. "By the way...'beat up the rich for the entertainment of the poor'? What's the matter with you?"

I grin at him. "I don't like rich people."

Naruto makes puppy-dog eyes at me. "But I'm rich!"

I roll my eyes. "Obviously you don't count. I mean snooty rich people." As I say this I give a very conspicuous glare in Itachi's direction, who looks like he couldn't care less if he tried.

Which gets me to thinking...what would _Itachi's _ideal super power be? I can see from here that he has written a couple sentences on the subject already. He doesn't seem like the super-power-desiring type. Not at all. Not even a little bit. What kind of thing could he possibly have...

Oh, that's it. Now I'm intensely curious.

I HAVE to know.

Unfotunately sneakiness is not one of my strong points, and although I haven't known him for very long, I'd be willing to bet that reconnaissance _is _one of Itachi's strong points. In other words, he totally knows I'm trying to read his paper. Every time I manage to nonchalantly rest my eyes on his entry (at least, _I _think I'm being nonchalant), Itachi covers it up with this hand or tilts it away so that I can't see it, with equal nonchalance. This bothers me because, come on, if you know someone's trying to sneakily read your paper the polite thing to do is to let them and pretend you don't notice. That's just common ettiquite!

Not that I really give a damn for ettiquite, but you get the point.

It's not until my fifth attempt to read his paper that Itachi responds in any verbal sort of way. "You know, Mari, if you want to read it that bad the polite thing to do would be to ask nicely."

I scowl at him. "What are you talking about? Why would I want to read your dumb paper?"

Itachi nods curtly. "Suit yourself."

And he goes back to writing.

For the rest of the period I try my very best to read his paper, but unsuccessfully. At the end of the class I think, okay, I'll just wait till he leaves it behind and read it when he leaves. But then, Itachi looks straight at me -_straight at me_- and puts the journal in his backpack. Still with the emotionless look on his face, he walks stiffly out of the room.

I angrily put up my things and walk out of the room, still brooding. I freaking hate that Itachi guy. HATE him. Intensely. he's just as smug as the other Akatsuki, but he's smug in a superior, stoic, I'm-better-than-you-I-will-always-be-better-than-you sort of way. What makes him think he's just so freaking amazing? Ooh, I hope he-

"Hey, bitch!"

"Fuck off, Hidan," I say automatically, before even registering that it was a girl's voice who said it. I turn around to see a confused-looking group of girls who show a profound lack of being Hidan. "Oh. Not Hidan. Sorry."

I turn to keep walking, somewhat annoyed at how fast my mind assumed that someone calling me 'bitch' was Hidan.

"Hey, bitch!" she calls again.

"What do you want?" I ask irritatedly.

"The joker called, he wants his makep back," she tells me as her groupies giggle.

I roll my eyes. What a lame put down. "Hey, I called," I respond. "I want the five seconds of my life you just wasted back. See ya later, poser."

I walk away, not in any way interested in getting into some sort of smack-talking contest with these idiots. I doubt it'd even be fun. See, when someone puts me down but it's actually clever and funny, I enjoy the back-and-forth. Hell, I'll argue for no reason other than I enjoy bickering. But I doubt this girl has anything in her arsenal but cheesy one-liners she found on the internet. I'd rather argue with Hidan, and he's not clever. Not even a little bit.

"Hey, we aren't finished here yet!" she calls.

"Do you see me walking away?" I ask, turning back around to face her, with a hand on my hip. "This indicates that yes, I am indeed finished talking to you. Once again I say, see ya later, poser."

I walk away for good now, thinking, _Geez, what's up with her? I haven't even talked to her before. Oh well, there's always a surplus of people to hand out lame insults to one another. _

I don't think about it much more than that. Because really, who gives a damn?

* * *

><p>I get my next unpleasant surprise of the day just two periods later, in fifth hour Gym class.<p>

See, I'd been wondering why they were going to hold Gym right smack in the middle of the day, since Gym usually involves getting sweaty and running around a lot.

Of course, I'm not in a typical high school. I'm in Leaf High, and they do things a little differently here. The Gym class has weights and scales and dodge balls and stuff, but it also has DDR and ping-pong tables and a smoothie bar. Yes, you heard me right: a freaking SMOOTHIE bar.

_I could get used to this, _I think happily as I order a strawberry smoothie. The dude at the store accepts my money and whips up a smoothie with yogurt and freash strawberries in a falsh. "You have to keep it here, though," he tells me as he hands me a delicious strawberry smoothie.

I sip it happily, leaning against the stall and wondering who else I might have Gym with. I see a surplus of unfarmiliar faces, before I finally see Sakura.

My face lights up. "HEY! SAKURA-CHAN! OVER HERE! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? THEY HAVE SMOOTHIES!"

Even from across the room I can see her facepalm.

"Mari, calm down!" she tells me as she jogs over to the smoothie bar. "You sound retarded."

"I usually sound retarded," I answer happily. "But seriously, dude -smoothies!"

"Yes, smoothies," she agrees exasperatedly. "We don't usually order the smoothies, though."

"You guys are crazy!" I declare in between sips. "These smoothies are the shit, man!"

"Hey!" the man in the smoothie-booth says. "Watch your mouth."

"Yeah, yeah."

"Come ON, Mari, the bell's about to ring!" Sakura says, pulling on my arm. "We're supposed to be sitting over there."

I place my smoothie down at the counter and allow myself to be dragged to the group of people.

Unfortunately, as amazing as is the revelation of there being strawberry smoothies available, it pales in comparison of the other thing Gym class has.

Deidara.

I glare at him vehemently and he gives me that standard irritating smirk. "Miss me, un?"

"You wish, dude." I turn to Sakura and start a conversation with her about the first thing that comes to my mind -which happens to be DDR- in order to totally ignore Deidara.

Well, I guess as irritating as Deidara can be he doesn't want to talk to me much more than I want to talk to him, because he leaves me alone ang goes off to annoy someone else.

To my surprise I find Sakura smirking as soon as he walks away.

"What?" I snap.

"Oh, nothing..."

"It is very obviously something. What?"

"I was just thinking."

"Thinking about _what,_ man?"

"Just...thinking," she answers innocently.

"Sakura, tell me what you were thinking or I swear to God I'll eat your fucking soul," I threaten.

She blinks at me. "...Whoa. Dark much?"

"I heard it from some teacher."

"What _teacher _said that?" she asks, bemused.

I shrug. "I don't know her name. Purple hair, fishnets..."

"That woudl be Anko-sensei," Sakura says, nodding grimly. "And she will seriously do it."

I think back. "Yeah. She seems cool, dude."

Sakura laughs. "You would say that."

Suddenly we hear a shrill whistle. "Hey kids!"

I turn to see who the teacher is and grin.

It's Anko-sensei.

"I wanted today to be dodgeball," she says, "but since we've been doing that evey day, Tsunade wants us to do something different."

I scowl. Why did I have to miss dodgeball?

"So, today, we're going over one of the more useless things in life: dancing."

We all groan.

"Yeah, that's what I said. Suck it up, you're gonna learn to tango whether you like it or not. Now, let's see- you!"

She grabs a random boy from the crowd. "I'm leading," she tells him before proceeding to show the class how a tango is performed. It looks painful.

"Now, your turn. Everyone who doesn't have a partner within thirty seconds gets to run laps!"

All the kids run around in frenzied activity to find a partner. I grab Sakura's wrist. "You're my partner, 'kay?"

She looks at me strangely. "I think we're supposed to dance with guys, aren't we?"

"Who gives a damn? I don't like these people, dude."

Sakura opens her mouth to answer, but before she can my other wrist is roughly grabbed from behind.

"What the hell!" I say.

"Oh quit squirming," Anko tells me. "I already have a partner picked out for you."

"I have a bad feeling about this," I mutter.

"Ta da!" Anko says, pointing toward -what the hell! DEIDARA? "Your soul mate!"

"WHAT! Oh hell no!" I say, trying to pull my wrist away, but the chick has an iron grip. "I hate this guy!"

"Which is why you're going to dance with him," Anko tells me, smirking. "It'd be too boring for me otherwise."

"Come on!" I snap. "You can't be serious!"

"I think it's a great idea," Deidara smirks, taking my hand.

I smack his hand away. "Shut up, taco shit snuffer!"

"You don't mind if I borrow that, do you?" Anko asks me. "And don't bother, it's already been decided. Now tango or die."

She pushes me toward Deidara and I glare at her. "You're a sadistic psychopath."

"I try."

I grudgingly place my arm on Deidara's back and grab his other hand, holding him as far away from me as possible.

"What are you doing, un?" he asks, laughing. "It goes the other way around."

"I'm leading, shithead, got a problem with that?"

He snorts and forces my arm up so that it's over his shoulders. "You wish, un."

I stomp on his foot, hard. "I'M LEADING!"

"The taller person has to lead, un!" Deidara snaps.

"The less douchey person has to lead!"

"So I'm leading, then," Deidara says.

"No, cause you're douche! I am."

"It doesn't matter who leads, because either way I'm still in charge, un," Deidara taunts, leaning toward me slightly.

"I'm not dancing with him!" I protest.

"Yes you are, now tango or BE tangoed!" Anko snaps.

I'm not sure what it means to be tangoed but it sounds menacing. We assume the tango-ing position, both of us putting our arms in the leading position, and waltz clumsily around.

"This is fucking stupid," I seethe.

"Do you want me to twirl you?" Deidara asks, laughing at my anger.

"Hell no!"

So, of course, he does, only it doesn't work out the way he thought it would. I am not a twirling kind of girl. I plant my feet firmly on the ground and refuse to spin as he twists my arm around. "OW!"

"Well then spin!"

"No!"

"SPIN!"

"NO!"

"Damn, you're stubborn," he says, twisting my arm around harder. "What's so bad about spinning, un?"

"I'm gonna punch you!"

"So do it, un."

Foolishly I do, but he just grabs my right arm and pulls it so that the momentum makes me spin.

"Now was that really that bad, un?"

I glare at him. "Fuckface!"

"Whore, un."

"Asswipe!"

"Bitch, un."

"You're gonna have to do better than that, I cuss with Hidan!"

"_My _bitch, un."

I glare at him intensely. "Sakura's fucking twin!"

"Huh?"

"Your hair's pink, dumbass!"

"Not any more it's not, lesbian hooker, un!"

"You can still tell, faggot-ass cunt!"

"I'm getting it dyed back tomorrow, pussylicker, un!"

"The memory will live on forever in our hearts, fuckass!"

We continue insulting each other and "dancing" until we get to the point where our insults stop making much sense.

"Monkey spooner, un!"

"Dog humper!"

"Chicken shit, un!"

"Whale's vagina!"

"Pole fucker, un!"

"Shitty jack-off melon fucker douchebag!"

He blinks. "Where do you _get _this stuff, un?"

"I'm a special girl, fucknuts!"

* * *

><p><strong>Fuckin' YAY! It took a little longer than usual, but this chapter's more than five thousand words, before the Author's Notes! Go me!<strong>

**Okay, I'm totally gripped by the idea of a pink-haired Deidara. I would draw it myself, but I'm not an artist, so...here's my deal: someone sends me a drawing of this, and I'll write a chapter in which whatever you want to happen happens. You name it, I'll write it, I swear! I just really want to see a picture of Deidara with pink chunks...**

**And this is a side note, but despite what I wrote I actually don't hate Karin. It just annoys me that she's all obsessed with Sasuke, but the same can be said for Sakura.**

**Anyways, please, PLEASE review! Thanks for reading!**

**-Amy out**


	10. How Far I Can Fall

**Prepare for angst, people. This chapter will have minimum funniness, if any. It's character development time, and Mari is not a healthy, stable character. Before you even ask, yes, this is based off my own experience, so trust me when I say this is about as realistic as it can get. I hope this chapter helps you understand Mari more, and why she does some of the things she does.**

**I don't own Naruto.**

* * *

><p>The feeling starts as I ride back to school Friday afternoon. Why? Who knows. Well, okay, I kind of know. As always I'm listening to my iPod, and on comes a certain song:<p>

"_When I was younger I saw my daddy cry and curse at the wind._

_He broke his own heart and I watched as he tried to reassemble it._

_And my momma swore that she would never let herself forget._

_And that was the day that I promised_

_I'd never sing of love if it does not exist._

_But darling,_

_You are the only exception._

_You are the only exception._

_You are the only exception._

_You are the only exception._

_Maybe I know somewhere deep in my soul_

_that love never lasts._

_And we've got to find other ways to make it alone._

_Or keep a straight face._

_And I've always lived like this _

_keeping a comfortable distance. _

_And up until now I've sworn to myself that I'm content with loneliness._

_Because none of it was ever worth the risk."_

I should've known better than to listen to a song so close to home. Music holds a deeper part of me than anything or anyone, except Kai and my pride. Yes, those are the only three things keeping me afloat. Art. My little brother, who I have to make sure has a good life no matter what it costs me. And a false sense of pride. I have to admit it's very false. I act strong, but it's all smoke and mirrors; what other explanation is there for why I feel things so deeply?

I had a friend once who was always happy. You couldn't imagine her sad or angry, hardly. People like that I usually didn't like, but this girl was…amazing. She could even talk me into following the rules, not getting into trouble. She was a kind person. She said once that she was impressed by my tough attitude. "I'm all, fragile," she said. "Except for my heart."

I smiled at her. "That's the better way to be. I act tough, but my heart's so fragile it'd break if you touched it." And then I made a joke about me getting all emo over losing a fight, and we laughed.

Oh, and humor. Might as well add that to my list of things I can depend on.

Look, it's probably no surprise to you that I feel things a little stronger than most people do. I mean, I've never lived inside another person's head, but it's safe to say most people don't get as bothered by little blows to their pride as I do? Or read so much into small things? It's like that one book, The Outsiders. Some of us feel too little, some of us feel too much. And that's the reason people like us are always in trouble.

I can already tell I'm on a path to nowhere as I put my bike up in the garage. Every time I feel this way, it doesn't end well. It just freaks Kai out, who's used to me being either hyper or sarcastic.

"Hey, Kai!" I call out as I open the door, forcing myself to act fine for his sake. Kai's bus drops him off thirty minutes before I get home. I could probably ride the bus home too, but I want to ride my bike to stay in shape. I can't exactly keep doing kickboxing when we're scraping for money just to pay the bills.

No, neither of my parents are back yet. It's been, what, two weeks, and already people are starting to send us mean letters about the electricity bills and whatnot. And because life is a bitch, I can't work for another two and a half weeks because we never did apply for that Hardship License that allows fourteen-year-olds to get part time jobs. I've already decided just to let them turn the electricity off, but we need gas and water. I've been sending off checks with money that I've been saving to buy a Harley one day. Which sucks, but hey, it's not like it would've mattered anyways.

"Hey Mari!" Kai answers, running in through the house to me. "Guess what! My friend Konahamaru wants me to spend the night!"

My face lights up in a huge grin. "That's awesome! When?"

"Tonight! Can I go, can I go, can I go, PLEEEASE?" he practically screams.

"Of course you can!" I say brightly. He gets so little chance to get out of the house; I mean, the park only holds so much appeal, even for a nine-year-old. I'm happy for him to get a chance to have some fun for once. It sometimes takes all my self-control lately not to spend some money and just buy the kid a damn toy. But he has plenty of toys from when our family actually had money.

Only, how do I know that these people are decent? I mean, after what happened to me-

_No, _I think firmly. _This is nothing like that. Not all people are like that. Besides. He got what was coming to him._

I made sure of it.

_But I still should go scope the place out, _I decide. "Are they coming to pick you up?"

"No, they live just a few blocks away."

I sigh in relief. "That's perfect. When are they expecting you?"

"He said anytime!"

"Well, go pack your bags!" I encourage him. "You don't want to waste time talking to me do you?"

"Of course not!" He scrambles back to his room.

I have to laugh at his somewhat insulting response. But I know he didn't mean it; besides, even if he did, I totally set myself up for that one.

Ten minutes later, after much arguing over what video games he was allowed to bring (like I'd let myself be parted from Nazi Zombies for a whole night. Psshh.), he's packed and ready to go. Just for fun I let him stand on the pegs of my bike and hold onto my waist as he gives me directions to his friend's house. I go out of my way to go down all the steep hills I can, laughing out loud and reveling in the danger.

Life is _meant _to be dangerous. Better a short life that burns bright than a long life of being dead inside.

When we get there, the place looks fine. I walk around the house and make small talk with Konahamaru's mom, making it sound like I was just dropping off my little brother as a favor for my mom, what a pain, and geez, I do everything around here…

Well, the place seems alright, and Konahamaru seems like a cool kid. A little punk, but better a punk than a brown-nose. In my book, anyways.

The ride back is another slow descent into self-pity. Of course it makes me feel pathetic; nothing even happened to make me feel this way. But emotions don't make sense. Life doesn't make sense. Who would want to live it if it did? Not me. Chaos is better than order, freedom is better than security, and adventure is better than safety. Living like that makes me feel alive.

It also leaves me right on the brink of losing it.

I walk into the empty house and decide it's too quiet. High time for some art.

I'm in the mood for a sad song, so I pick another one:

"_I will not make_

_The same mistakes that you did_

_I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery"_

I sing as loud as I want, with no one but me to hear.

"_I will not break the way you did_

_You felt so hard_

_I learned the hard way _

_To never let it get that far"_

No, I won't break the way my parents did. I won't screw Kai over the way they screwed me. I won't do the same to my children, either. Or maybe I won't have children. Maybe I'll die alone, and end this horrible cycle. It's not like I could ever trust a guy anyways.

_Mari! Stop it! _My reasonable side says. _You can't get this far down! _

I push the voice away. _Don't tell me what to do._

_That is ridiculously stupid. I _am _you._

_No, you're the annoying part of me._

_I'm the sane part of you._

_I'm sane!_

_You're arguing with yourself. Does that sound sane to you?_

I hate when I'm right.

_That also makes no sense._

_Shut up, me._

I crank up the music, singing louder.

"_I lose my way_

_And it's not too long before you point it out_

_I cannot cry_

_Because I know that's weakness in your eyes_

_I'm forced to fake_

_A smile, a laugh, every day of my life_

_My heart can't possibly break_

_When it wasn't even whole to start with!"_

It's like this song was written for me. I'm a mess inside. Like I said earlier, beneath all my defense mechanisms and abrasive attitude, beneath the humor and it's-all-good-I'm-fine-I-don't-need-help, is someone who doesn't know what the hell she's doing with her life.

Look, my life's not as bad as some people's. In many ways, I'm lucky. But in other ways, my life has been one huge fucked-up mess.

When I was six, my parents got divorced. Okay, no biggie, lots of people get divorced. Only it wasn't a clean-cut thing; my parents both firmly believe that some things are forever and that there are some things you fight for until it destroys you. And people you love is one of them.

And there's nothing wrong with that; I believe the same thing myself. But Mom and Dad chose the wrong people to fight for. I think the reason is, they didn't get married because they fit together well. They got married because when they were together, sparks flew, and they couldn't imagine that passion fading away.

It didn't fade; it changed into hatred.

But still they fought for their marriage and for our life as a family. The only problem was, they fought against each other more than anything else; and in the end, it did destroy them.

Details don't matter. All that matters is, Mom left and rarely visits. She told me once that me and Kai would grow up better without her. My crying and pleading just seemed to strengthen that belief. She sends child support and birthday cards to show she cares. But it'll take more than ten dollars a year and a scribbled "Happy Birthday" on a card to make me forgive her.

I don't believe in holding grudges. Anger will eat me alive before it gets to anyone else. But leaving a six-year-old to fend for herself and for her infant baby brother? I won't let it fester inside of me, but it's hard to believe that anger will ever leave me.

Anyways, Dad left us too, but he left us bit by bit. He drank himself away. By the time I was nine and Kai was four, I was more the parent than he was. My childhood started fading at nine. It was taken away completely at ten.

I'll never forget that night. It was the stuff of nightmares. His stupid friends were here, wasted as usual, when he passed out and most of them left.

Except one.

I put Kai in bed and went to get some milk before I went to sleep too. And then…

And then…

My inner voice of reason puts its foot down, telling me to stop being retarded. _It's over now, _she screams at me. _He's in federal prison with a hell of a puncture wound. He can't get to you now._

If you must know, let's just say that getting in fights wasn't the only reason I started taking self-defense classes.

Dad was mad as hell when he woke up to sirens, his friend on the ground with a broken glass bottle two inches deep into his stomach, me hysterical with blood on my hands and not letting anyone near me, several cops asking him where he was when this happened, and a wicked hangover. When he found out what his friend tried to do, it was all they could do to keep him from killing the man personally.

I thought he might come back to us, then. He stopped letting his friends come over and cut down his drinking by about half. We cried together, went to counseling together, and he began to show interest in our lives again.

But then, he just…stopped. His drinking skyrocketed, and it was like nothing had happened. Leaving me to once again become the parent to my little brother, only now with another demon I still face down in my dreams.

Okay, now I've done it. Now I'm so far down I'm practically already in hell. _God! _I cry out. _Where are you? You said you loved me. You said you loved me! WHERE ARE YOU? _

A song starts to play in my head":

_I cry out with _

_No reply and_

_I can't feel you _

_By my side so_

_I hold tight to_

_What I know -you're here_

_And I'm never alone._

I wipe furiously at my eyes, refusing to cry. Crying helps nothing. It just makes me feel more pathetic.

God does answer. _Hold on. _

Apparently God's not in a very helpful mood today. Still, I decide to do what He says. I may not act like a typical Christian but I'm close with God. Believing and resilience are the things I've always been good at. I used to be good at love and sharing my feelings, but then Life happened. I'm good at being brave and strong and junk, but that I had to grow into. And no, I don't blame God for the pain I'm in. The way I see it, God only hands hardship to those who are strong enough to handle it. I'm far from broken, and whatever test this is, I'll pass it. I believe God has a purpose for me, and I won't give up until I find it.

I turn my iPod to one of my favorite songs and unplug the earphones because I want to develop my voice. It's one of the songs I want to be able to sing really well.

"_I heard there was a secret chord,_

_That David played, and it pleased the Lord," _I sing along, loving my voice shamelessly. I'm an alto, so my voice is more low and strong. I've spent years learning how to sing high notes, and I've improved, but I'm still not as good as I want to be.

"_But you don't really care for music, do ya?_

_It goes like this: the fourth, the fifth,_

_The minor fall and the major lift,_

_The baffled king composing Hallelujah!" _

I go to get a drink of water through the chorus. I find it boring. I resume singing the song with the next verse:

"_Your faith was strong but you needed proof,_

_You saw her bathing on the roof,_

_Her beauty in the moonlight overthrew ya,_

_He tied you to the kitchen chair,_

_He broke your jaw, he pulled your hair,_

_And from your lips he drew the Hallelujah!"_

I changed the lyrics in that verse. It's more personal this way. And although it hurts to sing those words instead of the original, art is always better when you mean it. And I mean this.

"_Baby I've been here before_

_I know this place, I've walked this floor, _

_I used to live alone before I knew ya,_

_I saw your flag on the marble arch,_

_Love is not a victory march!"_

Hell no it's not. I belt out the next line: _"It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah!"_

Because, really, it is. Love is nothing to aim for in life. If it happens to me, I'll take it, but slowly -unlike the way I take anything else. I refuse to let this cold and broken hallelujah destroy me the way it did my family.

"_There was a time when you let me know_

_What was real and going on below_

_But now you never show it to me, do ya?_

_Remember when I moved in you_

_And the holy dark was moving to!_

_And every breath we drew was Hallelujah!"_

The next verse means the most to me out of the whole song, so I sing it carefully and make strain to make sure my voice carries it as good as it possibly can. "_Well maybe there's a God above,_

_But all I ever learned from love,_

_Was how to shoot somebody who outdrew ya._

_And it's not a cry you can hear at night,_

_It's not somebody who's seen the light,_

_It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah!"_

Well, I definitely feel sadder now, but there's also a strange sense of peace. This would be the time to snap out of my funk, to play some video games for a while, to read a book, to do anything but what I actually did.

What I did was put on No Children by the Mountain Goats, which may be the most depressing song ever:

"_I hope that our few remaining friends_

_Give up on trying to save us._

_I hope we come up with a fail-safe plot_

_To piss off the dumb few that forgave us._

_I hope the fences we mended,_

_Fall down beneath their own weight,_

_And I hope we've held on past the last exit_

_I hope it's already too late!_

_And I hope the junkyard a few blocks from here_

_Someday burns down_

_And I hope the rising black smoke carries me far away_

_And I never come back to this town again. In my life!"_

My inner voice of reason officially gives up, telling me fine, if I insisted on being an emo retard she wouldn't be held responsible for the consequences. I tell her to fuck off and stop being such a snob.

I should've listened to me, though. Because as bad as I was feeling then, things just got worse with the next verse. "_I hope I cut myself shaving tomorrow-"_

And that's all it takes. The image of a blade on my arm fills up my mind, the sting and the blood and the-

NO! I shake my head spastically, turning off the music. I don't do that any more. Never again.

Never again!

But this is one urge I can't control. I hate feeling this way, like something other than me is controlling me. I hate _wanting _to hurt myself. It's a sick obsession. It's not fun. I don't want to the way a person wants to, say, go to the mall; I want to in a way that fills me up from the inside out, not screaming but whispering to me to bleed. To be in pain. To cut.

No. I won't.

Stubbornness rises up in me, but so does the urge. I'm filled with energy and the need to feel something physical. So I go find my punching bag.

It's an old thing, worn-out and sloppily sewed back on the top and bottom from all the times me and Kai have overworked it. I lean the thing against the wall, get down on my knees, and go apeshit.

I don't have any gloves, so after a few minutes my hands start to sting on the knuckles from getting scraped. I ignore it and keep punching, trying to remember all the techniques I was taught. The sting only makes me punch harder, proving I can handle the pain, defying the idea that I can't keep going. The punching bag becomes everyone I've ever hated, and I feel a perverse joy in hitting it, as if it were an actual person.

_Anger and agony_

_Are better than misery…_

The rock song plays in my head as I punch until I'm out of breath, then start straight up again. I don't stop until I feel a warm, sticky wetness on my hands.

I look at them and see I went too far this time. I've torn open the skin on my hands before, but this time is worse than I can remember it being. I have sores on seven of my main knuckles, and four on the other ones. The ones on the left aren't so bad, most just have the top layer of skin torn off. Only the knuckle on the two fingers used for punching is bleeding.

But the right hand is just awful. It's like someone rubbed sandpaper on my hands for twenty minutes, only harder since I was punching as hard as I could. Blood seeps out of the wrinkles and lines on my skin.

I stare at my hands in amazement. How could I not have noticed that? I look closely at the bag to see there are bloodstains on it. Peachy.

_HOW is this any better than ripping my arm open with scissors? _I scold myself as I go to find some gauze to wrap my hands in. _It's probably even worse. These are deeper than cut wounds, and they'll take forever to heal since they're over joints._

I lecture myself over not having wrapped my hands up or something before getting into a punching session, but inside I know I wouldn't have even if I'd thought of it. I feel a strange sense of satisfaction at the wounds I've inflicted on myself, although I won't let myself admit it.

I wrap my knuckles in gauze, flinching as the rough fabric rubs against the open sores. Funny how it hurts more now than it did while I was punching.

_At least it's Friday, _I think. I pray my hands are better by then, I don't want to go to school having everyone ask "OMG, what happened?" And don't even get me started on what the Aka-Assholes will say. I don't need ridicule over my insane habits.

Thank God Kai's not home. It scares him to see me snarling at my punching bag, it makes him sad to see me hurt myself. He's a tough kid, but he's got a soft heart. He reminds me of my friend from middle school I mentioned earlier. He cried the first time he walked in on my cutting. I'd never felt more horrible, even when I lost my temper and smacked him.

Well, great. Now I can't even play video games to distract myself; my hands need to sit still so the wounds will set. My other form of entertainment is music, but the last thing I need is more emotions right now.

I wish more than anything that I didn't do what I did next. I wish I could say that I went to bed and slept it off, letting myself end this awful night with still an illusion of not having given in to my darker side. But if I'm going to do stupid things, I have to face the consequences. I've always believed that. And one of the consequences now is admitting to how far I can fall when I don't have Kai to stop me.

I sing songs until I couldn't handle holding it in anymore. Singing is the least self-destructive way I deal with things, and it's not working tonight.

Still I resist, watching Adam Sander movies in a failed attempt to get myself out of this mood.

Finally, hating myself, I get a razor and press a corner down into my arm until blood erupts and I gasp in pain. Slowly I drag it across my arm, feeling it split apart my left forearm. I watch in fascination as the blood drips slowly down my arm, onto my elbow, staining me red with my weakness. It feels like I'm painfully opening up my soul, like the blood is all the anger and wrongness in me bleeding out. But no matter how bad it hurts or how deep I cut, it's never enough. The feeling comes back -it allways does.

I bring the razor down two more times before throwing it away from myself in revulsion, grabbing my insides and curling up in the fetal position on my bed, finally letting myself cry. _Why am I still here? _I think miserably. _There's nothing for me here. I should just die._

But no, I refuse to let my story end that way. Suicide would be giving up. And I DON'T give up. If only for Kai's sake, I have to hold on. _God, I'm sorry, _I pray as I take deep breaths to keep from sobbing. _Give me strength._

My voice still cracking from having cried, I sing one last song under my breath before falling asleep:

"_And now again I find myself,_

_So far down, away from the sun_

_That shines to light the way for me_

_To find my way, back into the arms again_

_Now, I'm so far down,_

_Away from the sun again!"_

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><p><strong>I know this wasn't what you guys were expecting, but I'm planning on taking this fic deeper than a silly OC-centric flirting-with-Akatsuki fic. I want you guys to really understand Mari and the battle she fights every day just to keep herself alive.<strong>

**Anyways, I used more lyrics Than Ever Before in this chapter, but what better way to express Mari's emotional state? Music is how she relates to her feelings. Art is the only way she can, really. **

**Lyrics used are from The Only Exception by Paramore, Because of You by Kelly Clarkson, Never Alone by BarlowGirl, Hallelujah by Rufus Wainwright, No Children by Mountain Goats, Pain by Three Days Grace, and Away From the Sun by 3 Doors Down. If some of the lyrics aren't quite right, tough fuzz.**

**I highly recommend you look up and listen to these songs, if you haven't heard them yet. **

**So, again, sorry for the angst when you were expecting humor, plus the lack of Akatsuki. The fic will be somewhat more serious from here on out, but I promise the funny will return. THE FUNNEH THAT WOULDN'T DIE...Anyways. I'm putting another reveiw quota up, I'll update when I have 64 reviews.**

**Thanks for reading, and until next time-**

**-Amy out**


	11. Weasel Ninja'd My Brain

**Again with the extremely fast reviewss! Dang people! **

**I don't own Naruto. Lyrics used, in case you couldn't tell, are from Last Resort by Papa Roach, Headstrong by Trapt, and The Last of The American Girls by Greenday.**

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><p>I wake up to see blood crusted on my clothes and the bed sheets, arm stinging and knuckles smarting.<p>

"Tch," I tell myself. "Idiot."

The pain I felt last night is just a dull throb; emotions are like that with me. I feel them hard and fast and strong, but they pass quickly. For the most part, anyways.

I roll over in bed, sighing and thinking of the things I have to do today. The shaming task of admitting my own weakness, of changing my bed sheets, of finding all my long-sleeved shirts to hide the scars until they fade.

I take another look at my arm and frown. _If they even do. _I cut kind of deep; they're blackened. Of course they look worse than they are. I'm more worried about my hands.

_It's gonna suck practicing guitar for a few weeks, _I tell myself. No, I'm not going to let my hands rest by neglecting my guitar-learning sessions. I did something stupid, and now I'll have to pay for it. I'm not letting myself off the hook.

Before I get up I take an inventory of my emotional place. Lonely. Regretful. Lost. Painful. Stubborn. Determined. Not about to give up, no matter how much pain I'm in. And...hopeful.

* * *

><p>Monday morning and ready for anything. Or, at least, anything that seems likely to happen.<p>

Anyways, I'm wearing black jeans, a white t-shirt that says "LET'S START A RIOT " on it, and, yes, a red hoodie that covers the cuts on my arm. I'm ashamed of them, but I'm not going to let myself wallow. What's done is done, but I'll use this experience to grow and learn from my mistakes. This will be the last time I cut. Period.

The wounds on my hands are harder to conceal; they haven't fully scabbed over yet and will bleed at the slightest provocation. I'm wearing my old leather gloves that go up to my the third knuckle before stopping. I really like them but haven't worn them in a while, so they're a little tight. Unfortunately the slight bandaging I've put on my hands don't seem to have much absorbing power; there's blood running down to my fingers by the time I reach school.

I scrub them off on my hoodie and grimace.

It's going to be a long day.

Yes, I considered staying home, but only for an instant. This is another one of those not-taking-it-easy-on-myself things; I screwed up, and now I'm suffering the consequences. Besides. If anyone asks I can just make up some story about getting carried away with my kickboxing.

I put up my bike and skip breakfast, opting to go to the bathrooms to wash off my hands and gloves and re-bandage my knuckles before classes start.

As I sit in first period, hand painfully and sloppily copying down notes while my mind is anywhere else, I insert one earphone into my ear:

"_She puts her makeup on_

_Like graffiti on the walls of the heartland"_

I smile. How could I have not listened to Greenday for so long? Like, an entire weekend. No wonder I got so depressed. I keep telling everyone -a lack of Greenday leads to devastation of the soul. That's just all there is to it.

Unfortunately my hands start bleeding a few minutes before the bell rings, so I have to make another hand-care trip before second period.

I pry my gloves off and turn them inside out, mumbling curses under my breath as I rinse the blood off and dry them off with paper towels. I turn on the cold water into a gentle stream and rinse them off, gingerly patting them with paper towels so as not to provoke them more.

Well, it turns out more people besides me have to use the bathroom, and in walks a pair of giggling girls. I groan inwardly but decide that whoever it is, it's none of their business. I start to wrap up my right hand when they enter the room. I look up briefly to see who it is…and wish I hadn't.

Le Biatch and Follower -AKA Moegi and Hai- are watching me with surprise and glee mingling on their faces.

I give them a curt nod and go back to wrapping my hands.

We don't speak, but I can feel the aura of smugness in the room and see Moegi's smirk as she applies her mascara. I scowl slightly, trying my best to conceal my emotions, but it's hard for us hotheads. Anyways, I can tell she's happy I'm hurt, and that her and Hai will begin giggling and laughing at my pain as soon as I leave.

This fact fresh in my mind, my immediate impulse is to try and counter it, but I can't think of anything really to say. Besides, I already know how she'd answer: "I didn't say it, you did." Or something like that. I won't give her the satisfaction.

Still, I have the same horrible feeling of bitterness that followed me through my younger years of dealing with others as I walk out and I can feel their eyes on my back, hear their laughter.

I shake my head and force myself to ignore them as I walk to my next class. They're not worth getting worked up over.

Mercifully my hands don't require first aid up to third period, but I go and re-apply bandages before class anyways. The last thing I want is for my hands to begin bleeding in front of Naruto.

And Itachi.

I face palm right in the middle of the hall, earning myself strange looks and a throb of the hand. I forgot about Weasel Face! Dammit, I don't want to be around him and that stick up his ass.

_Grr, _I think as I continue to trudge to my classroom. It's not like I have much of a choice anyways.

Itachi's already there, reading a book when I plunk my stuff down. Naruto, unfortunately, isn't, so I have to find another way to amuse myself besides being an idiot with him. I look at the board -no journal entry for today.

I don't have a book in my backpack, but -what's this? My MAD magazine from a few months ago! I must've forgotten to take it out! Hell to the yes!

I smile to myself and hum a little as I gingerly pull it out, noticing out of the corner of my eye that Weasel lowers his book somewhat. I raise my eyes to glare at him for a second, my hostile eyes meeting his entirely emotionless ones, before turning away from him and reading Letters and Tomatoes.

I really, really wish he wasn't here. It's almost like he actually secretes a gas that makes the whole class more serious. He has no right to secrete seriousness. Secrete, secrete, secrete…I didn't even know I _knew _that word.

Anyways, I refuse to let his presence throw me off. I am going to be an idiot no matter how un-idiotic he is. Mark my words! On the…place where…people mark things…

Ahem. I digress.

Naruto gets to class a few minutes later, rushing in as the bell rings. We laugh over MAD's articles together, until Pervy Sage has to threaten us with confiscating the magazine for us disturbing the class. Giggling I put the magazine away -

Which causes me to notice Itachi.

And he's _looking _at me.

He's. Looking. At. Me.

I glare at him intensely and he returns the gaze apathetically, which just irritates me more.

His lack of caring is offensive to me.

In fact, it's making me angrier by the second.

"_What?" _I snap finally.

He raises an eyebrow slightly, the first sign of any emotion he's shown today. "You're awfully hostile, aren't you," he monotones.

I flip him the bird. "I'm not hostile, man, so you can just fuck off!"

He just gives me the same somewhat disbelieving look, waiting for the words I just spoke to sink in.

When they do I just scowl more and turn away from him, thinking, _It should be illegal to be able to illicit that kind of response with five words and almost zero emotion_. Weasel Dick's like the mirror opposite of me. I feel things to the core, and if outward indication is any sign he more notices emotions than feels them. I shoot him another nasty glare as I do my work, reflecting on that thing from The Outsiders. I don't doubt this guy caused his whole family to die.

Oh, yeah, I forgot that thing about him being a possible murderer, being a bit too busy hating him to be scared. Maybe I shouldn't be so- No. I will not finish that thought. Weasel Dick is an asshole and I shall treat him as such.

We don't speak more than that for the next thirty minutes, long enough for me to begin to ignore him and go back to my idiocy with Naruto, who seems to think my "argument" -if you can call it that- with Weasel Dick is funny. So I kick him.

That still isn't enough to make him stop giggling. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you two were a married couple. Do you secretly have a thing for Uchihas, Ma-ri-chan?"

I kick him harder at this, redness rushing up to my face. There's _no way _Weasel Dick didn't hear that! "Why do you _want _me to eat your soul, dude?" I hiss. Thank you, Anko-sensei, for that fantastic threat. Even though you're a psycho who made me dance with Blonde-Ass Prick.

Speaking of which, I'm not in Gym class with him anymore -thank God. New week, new electives! Even strawberry smoothies in Gym and a badass teacher won't make me want to risk a permanent class with him.

Gym class -denied!

"You're bleeding."

I jump visibly at Itachi's voice, not expecting him to show any signs of life. I don't think he's ever spoken to me without being spoken to first. I glare at him automatically before inspecting my hands, noticing the small smear of blood in between my pointer and middle fingers. I look at it and scowl. I didn't even notice it until now, since my hands are pretty much always stinging lately. The fact that Itachi noticed before I did irritates me beyond belief.

"Wow, you are bleeding!" Naruto says, looking at my hands with worry. "Are you alright?"

"It's just blood, man," I mutter.

Naruto snorts. "Yeah, 'just' blood. That clears it up, Mari. Glad you're totally fine -it's just blood, after all."

I have to smile a little at him. "So sarcastic."

"Look who's talkin'. Seriously, though, what happened/"

I shrug, trying to summon up nonchalance. "Well, I told you I'm in kickboxing right?"

"Right."

"Well, I couldn't find my punching gloves, so I punched barehanded."

"No way!" Naruto's face lights up. "Can I see?"

"No! Weirdo!"

"You must've been punching pretty hard," the ever-observant Naruto…observes. (Shut up.) "Why didn't you stop when it started hurting?"

"Oh, it's not all that bad," I scoff. "It only hurts a little. My gloves just chafe."

"So take them off."

"…I don't feel like it," I say, giving Naruto a teasing smile while trying to radio it into his head to drop the subject.

He doesn't have radio sensors, apparently. "Mari, if it's making you bleed it isn't worth it. Besides, I want to see them!"

I sigh. "Naruto, it's not that bad. Trust me, you'd be disappointed."

"Liar."

Itachi's voice, again, startles me. Still, the one word he spoke throws me immediately onto the offensive. "What would you know about it, Weasel Dick?" I snarl at him, turning to see that he's still reading his book. He probably didn't even look up, made his accusation of my lying based on my voice alone. He has no right! The fact of him being correct is inconsequential.

There's a pause.

"Well?" I ask, waiting for him to explain himself.

Weasel Dick turns the page.

"Asshole," I mutter, the bell finally ringing. I pack up my things and leave as quickly as I can, pissed at Weasel Dick for being so damn cold and calculating, and at myself for being, apparently, so transparent. I mean, the number of words the guy said to me is in the double digits, and still, look at how worked up I am! This shouldn't get under my skin so much, but it does. Seriously. One full hour, eight words, and here I am, totally thrown off and on my guard about it. The dude ninja'd my brain! He's a mental fucking terrorist!

I put my earphones back in as I walk to my next class, not caring who wants to say what about it.

"_Cut my life into pieces!_

_This is my last resort!_

_Suffocation,_

_No breathing…"_

Luckily Hidan isn't nearly as Brain Ninja-like as Weasel Dick -plus I put tons of more padding in my gloves before going to class- so the only real ridicule (save for our daily cussing fests) I had to endure was when I sang along under my breath with my iPod, only one earphone in my ear:

"I would let you kiss me, kill me…." I muttered.

"You would? Fuck yes!" Hidan responded gleefully.

An angry tic mark appeared on my forehead. "Fuck off, douche, it wasn't aimed at you."

"Well, I'm the only fucker here, bitch! No take-backs!" he grins slyly.

I roll my eyes. "You're like a fucking third grader, saying that I missed you and now I have to kiss you."

"Hey, you offered! You fucking offered to consent to violent sex!"

I sigh. "Hidan, I'll put my hair in pig tails if you'll _shut the fuck up._"

He raises an eyebrow. "Pigtails."

I nod, a pissed expression on my face. "Pigtails."

"Oh, this I fucking have to see!" he grins, like the total prick he is. "Psycho Bitch wearing pigtails? This should be fucking hilarious!"

"That means no talking for the rest of the period, asstard."

"You wish, bitch."

"Then no pigtails."

We get in a ten-second staring contest. Evantually, Hidan sighs. "Fine. No talking. But you'd better look like Cindy Loo Who!"

Yeah. Anyways. (For those that care, apparently I totally did, if his incessant laughter was anything to judge by.)

As it would turn out, pigtails and having my brain ninja'd by Weasel Dick (Kill. Kill! KILL!) wouldn't be the most painful things to happen that day.

As I walk across the school grounds, hands in my hoodie pockets and headphones in-

"_Back off, I'll take you on!_

_Headstrong, I'll take on anyone!"_

I feel a tap on my shoulder. I turn around to see who it-

**POW!**

And feel a hard metal impact on my left cheek, the force of the blow causing me to stumble forward three full steps, just abrely not falling face-first onto the ground. I yank my earphones out and turn to see who assaulted me from behind like some kind of shameless bitch-

To see Moegi, Hai, and the girl who tried to talk trash in the hallway last week, all laughing at me and exchanging high fives as if they just did something cool.

I narrow my eyes and put my iPod away.

_Whatever they thought was going to happen…_I think, becoming livid at their cowardliness. Three on one, using weapons (no punch hurts that bad unless you're using brass knuckles, and the sheen on Moegi's fingers tells me I'm right), and probably because she knows my hands are injured. Shameless bitches! _…They've got another think coming!_

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><p><strong>CLIFF HANGAH YA'LL! WHOO!<strong>

**And yes, I planned on letting you know the full story of the fight in the first one, but I figured this would make it more dramatic. Anyways, I'm super thankful that you all reviewed so quickly! I'd like to glomp all of you! I seriously thought it'd take longer to get 16 reviews, but it only took, what, 28 hours or something? **

**Since this one was a cliffhanger, plus I super duper LOVE you guys for EXCEEDING my review quota before I'd even begun TYPING ther next chapter, I shall post the next chapter as soon as we hit 70! Now click the button, because although the next chapter will be a bit shorter, it'll include Itachi's POV (scary territory for me, but it'll be good for you!) and a fight that'll make the previous ones look like a thumb wrestling match! MWAH HA HA HA! Three cheers for VIOLENCE! ...Yeah, I gotta lay off the coffee when I write these long A/Ns...**

**Anyways, I love you, thanks for reading, and REVIEW!**

**-amy out!**


	12. Bitches Will Be Bitches

I glare at the three horrible excuses for human beings before me, my cheek still throbbing from the armored blow. They're leering at me, Moegi especially.

"So," I say, barely controlling my anger. "This is how you roll, huh?"

"Ass-kicking? Yes," Moegi responds, clearly thinking she's going to beat me into submission for the entertainment of her friends. The anger rises up in me so fast, I'd be surprised if my face wasn't purple with pure rage. People who team up on others, who try to fight who they consider weak for entertainment, who bring weapons unnecessarily into fights…I hate them with my entire soul. I'm going to make them _pay._

"You really are a shameless bitch," I say quietly, trying to keep control of my temper. "Three on one, with weapons on someone unarmed? How brave."

"Cut the crap," she snarls, still grinning. "You shouldn't have messed with me in the first place!"

"Oh? What was that?" I ask, holding a hand to my ear in mock surprise. "_I _messed with _you? _If I remember right, you were the one who approached me, before I'd even said two words to you."

"Doesn't matter now, though, does it?" she laughs. "You're about to get an ass-kicking, you little bitch!"

"Oh really?" I ask, anger really starting to take over. She's going to try to fight me, three on one, when she knows full well my fists are already injured, and with weapons when I'm unarmed.

Or so she thinks.

I reach for my backpack, not turning my back on her. She looks somewhat confused at what I'm doing and starts to come at me while I'm distracted.

Before she can I pull the knife out of my side pocket and open it, making her stop short at the sight, wide-eyed.

I slowly open it, wanting to make her feel as scared as she's hoped I'd feel. The blade's four inches long and sharp enough to cut a finger off, if I wanted to.

I'm not planning on using it. If my Coward Sensors aren't malfunctioning horribly, a bluff will be enough to throw her off. And if not…

Well, let's hope she's not as dumb as she looks.

"Well?" I ask quietly. "Does it have to be like this? 'Cause I didn't come here looking for a fight."

On instinct I take a step toward her, surprised when she flinches.

"But if you're gonna start something…I'm gonna finish it!" I snarl, raising my left hand and making the universal "Bring It!" sign.

She looks at the blade and gulps, her friends staring at it and obviously trying to conceal their fear. Brass knuckles hurt, but they're nothing against a switchblade. Hai leans over to her and whispers frantically.

Moegi glares at me. "Look who's bringing weapons into the fight now."

I raise an eyebrow. "You're the one wanting to fight me 'cause you saw I'm already hurt. Oh, don't think I noticed your timing?" I taunt as she widens her eyes.

"That ain't why I wanna fight!" she says immediately.

"Bullshit," I snarl. "Now, do we have to be little bitches about this? Or can we fight fair?"

She looks surprised. "You still wanna fight?"

I snort. "I'm not a coward like you, Alpha Female."

She scowls and slowly removes her knuckles, holding them out away from her.

I hold out my knife the same way. "Same time."

I wouldn't put it past her to keep her weapon in her hands when I drop mine like the shameless, cowardly bitch she is, but even if she does that brass knuckles take time to put on. By the time she has one on I'd have my knife in my hand and by the time she had the second I'd be cutting her guts out.

If I wanted to.

As soon as the weapons hit the ground, we run for each other, same time. This isn't like the last time when I just wanted to win and get it over with; I'm furious at how cowardly she is, how she was going to confront me with so many obstacles against me. I'm beyond furious -I'm livid. I punch her in the nose, the eyes, the throat, each punch making my fists throb in pain, but the pain just makes me want to hurt her more.

Looks like she's as determined to win as I am. She punches as hard as me, using all kinds of dirty tricks. She pulls my hair, using my own trick of kneeing them in the face. The impacts jar me briefly, but I hear her sadistic laughter and I see red, ripping my head back so hard that a chunk of my hair is pulled out and still gripped in her hand when I tackle her to the ground.

She blackens my eye and bloodies my nose on the way down, but soon I'm pounding her face as hard as I can.

That's when the others step in, each taking an arm and pulling me back.

"Get her, Moegi!"

"Kick her ass!"

I'm struggling as hard as I can, but their grips are tight. Moegi slowly gets up, covered in blood and dirt and livid. When she finally stands up she sways, then comes running at me.

I kick her straight in the stomach before she can get to me. For once my timing is perfect and she falls back onto the concrete. This is when the one to my left starts punching me in the stomach.

Mistake. It makes her grip loosen long enough for me to pull out. I slap her, grab her hair and throw her away from me, while at the same time the one on the right's yanking me around and punching me too. I take care of her with a few good blows to the face with my freed left hand. She lets go and I yank her hair toward the ground until she stumbles.

I turn back to my left to see the one on the left -Hai, with her ridiculous makeup smeared- coming back at me, looking pissed.

I'm more than ready. My fist collides with her stomach, then her cheekbone. My foot kicks her back onto her butt.

By this time Moegi and the other chick are both up and coming at me, Moegi from the front and the other from behind.

Okay, this is where I do something really, really cool. Something I've only tried in kick boxing class before, something I wasn't even able to do when they taught it, something I didn't plan at all. In fact, I'm still gloating about it…

Anyways, the adrenaline in my system seems to have heightened my senses, strength and agility. Right as the one from behind me gets into range, I lock my left foot…

Bend my knees…

Reach for her arm…

Place my right arm under her armpit and my left on her wrist…

Channel all my strength into extending my right arm…

Use her own momentum against her…

And send her flying over my shoulder into Moegi!

I know, right!

(I told you it was cool!)

For the first time during the fight, I stop and stare, open-mouthed at the girls I just pwned. _I didn't know I could do that! _

But, despite me showing sudden signs of being a friggin' NINJA, they aren't done yet. It just seems to make them more determined to beat me up.

Hai comes at me from the side and tackles me while I'm still wondering how many Awesome Vouchers I must've just cashed in to be able to do that. She punches me hard in the face, twice, then yanks my hair back so hard that I crash backwards onto the ground.

"Yeah!" I hear one of the others yelp.

"Get her!"

Hai jumps on top of me but I punch her hard in the face as soon as she comes into range. She shoots away from me instinctively as I roll over onto my stomach, getting to my hands and knees, and elbowing her straight in the face with all my might as I sit up. Apparently I hit her pretty hard because I have time to get one foot on the ground and start so stand up before another one of them tackles me from behind.

The person on me gets several good punches to my head, neck, and back before I'm finally able to throw her off. It turns out to be Moegi, now lying on the ground. I jump on top of her and punch her straight in the face three times until that's not enough. I begin slamming her head down with all my might. Luckily for her we're off the sidewalk and in the soft-ish grass, otherwise she'd have a concussion, I guarantee it.

"AH!" she shouts, which normally would make me let up, but I'm so infuriated at her that I slam her head down twice more before getting up, kicking her as I do.

Just in time - both of the others grab me at once, pull me away from her while at the same time punching me mercilessly. I won't lie -it hurt like hell. I resist, but soon get a punch in the stomach that leaves me struggling for breath as blow after blow rains down on me, their frenzied laughter at my expense dancing around the edges of my adrenaline-filled brain.

This is when something inside me snaps, letting loose another rush of adrenaline and anger, so big it sweeps the previous out of the water. My vision goes red and I lose track of what's going on…for some amount of time (it could've been seconds or hours), all I can register is a sense of frenzied movement and rage, the incessant stinging of my hands, and the sound of a horrible angry war cry. (It's not until later that night that I begin to wonder if maybe the one making that sound was me.)

When my vision comes back and I calm down somewhat, I'm breathing heavily and all three of my adversaries are on the ground. I start to head for the closest one when I realize…

They're not getting up.

_Alright, _I think. I'm still mad as hell at these whores for what they did, sucker-punching me with brass knuckles and then trying to get into a three-on-one fight with someone they knew -_they fucking knew!_- was injured enough to make fighting hard for them, but I'm not about to start beating someone while they're down. "Get up!" I snarl.

They stay down.

I nudge the closest one with my foot, making her roll over. "_Get up!" _

They don't move.

"Come _ON!" _I seethe, not ready for this fight to be over. 'You wanted a fight, you shameless bitches, and now you got one! GET UP!"

It's not until now that I become aware of the presence of others. Standing some ten feet away are five kids, two boys and two girls, staring at me with expressions of utter shock. Who knows how long they were there, or how much they say.

This snaps me back to my senses, but still I'm mad so I glare at them. Suddenly an idea comes to me…They don't deserve this, but…see, there's this line I've been wanting to use for a while now after beating someone's ass impressively -yes, I'm that nerdy- and this is as good a time as any. I mean, my opportunities to look cool are relatively scarce, so I might as well grab what opportunities I happen to come across, right?

I glare harder and growl: "Anyone _else _wanna fuck with me?"

Their reaction is almost disturbing. They shake their heads fervently and back away before starting to walk a little too quickly toward the school building.

I blink in surprise, not expecting that extreme of a reaction. Do I really look that scary?

I take another look at the three girls, still on the ground, and see why the group of kids must've taken me so seriously.

Every one of them is bleeding, Moegi and the one I don't know from the nose and Hai from the lip. I can see bruises and an eye starting to swell up; scratches and smeared blood and dirt on their limbs and faces. Even more disturbing is the look of pain on their faces, and finally, the fact that none of them are trying to get up.

_What _the _hell _did I DO?

I gulp, guilt starting to wrench at my insides. Did I seriously injure them? Shit, I hope not. My anger is quickly turning into a heartfelt hope they'll be okay, as ironic as that sounds. My intentions weren't to hand them a trip to the hospital, just a nice reality check. I'm wondering vaguely if I should make sure they're alright when I see them move around and groan.

I take a deep breath, inwardly slapping myself. They'll be fine.

My sense of guilt disappears even more completely when I feel a sudden, violent throbbing of my hands. When I look at them I get another nasty surprise. Blood covers my fingertips, all of them, and a small amount is leaking down the wrist of my right glove. Painfully I pry the gloves off to find my bandages soaked in blood and loosened to the point of almost falling straight off when I remove the gloves, throwing them to the ground. I remove the bandages to get a better look.

Yikes. My left hand is now as bad as my right was that first night. As for my right, what little healing I'd been able to coax out of it since Friday has been decimated and then some. The knuckle of my middle finger isn't just bleeding, it's _spurting _blood.

No wonder those kids ran away. A chick going nuts on three others with friggin' blood seeping from her fists? I must've looked bat-shit insane.

I take a deep breath before bending down to pick up my blood-soaked, most likely ruined gloves. I stand up straight and look at the three girls distastefully.

"Be thankful I'm not like you, man," I advise them, before going to find my knife.

Apparently it was a mobile fight, because the blade is thrown, still open, ten feet to the right and on the other side of the sidewalk from where the Bitches Three are laying. After some thought I snag her brass knuckles too. What's she gonna do about it? Brass knuckles aren't even legal in this state. Let her try to get me in trouble for theft. I'd like to see that happen.

Luckily I catch a glimpse of my iPod in the grass, mercifully unharmed, and throw them into my backpack. I take another look to determine that they're not getting up anytime soon before digging the bandages I brought to school -spraying many of my belongings with blood as I do so, by the way- and use the remainder of it to bandage up my hands as best I can, not bothering to use enough to conceal under gloves this time.

I'm still in a daze as I do so. _That was insanely out of control! _I think numbly. _I got so mad…_ I've never felt so angry in my life, never wanted to harm someone that much before. The emotion I'd felt, scary as it is, can only be described as bloodlust. I've never felt that way before, even during the fight with Deidara.

Speaking of which, this is like my second fight on school grounds within a week. And I'll eat my hat if those kids aren't telling the principal what they witnessed right this instant.

_This is a good place not to be, _I think, deciding to run to the hills and deal with the consequences later.

And I do: within seconds I'm flying away from this place on my bike, pedaling like a madwoman all the way home.

* * *

><p>Unbeknownst to Mari, those five bystanders were not the only ones having witnessed the fight.<p>

Uchiha Itachi stood, arms crossed and leaning against a tree, concealed by the nearby dense forestry. A sense of slight -very, very slight- respect for Mari wormed its way into his consciousness. Well, it was more of a ping from his brain that anyone else might feel somewhat respectful in this kind of situation than an actual emotion. He could've taken those three down within seconds, and despite Mari having obviously won the fight, she ended up with worse injuries than the other three had put together. He could tell even from twenty feet away. _Thank kami for contact lenses. _

Still, she had a fighter's instincts, and to fight like that with her hands already hurt showed a certain amount of resilience. _I _knew _she was hurt more than she let on, _Itachi thought, but the revelation wasn't really that surprising. He'd known since he first noticed her slightly stiff, awkward hand movements as she reached for her idiotic magazine that her hands were hurt; upon closer inspection, the unusual bulges under her gloves proved she was wearing some kind of bandaging under those gloves. And the fact that she was wearing gloves at all was also noteworthy.

It certainly wasn't all that unusual or out of character for the punk-looking girl to wear gloves like that, but he doubted it was a coincidence. Whatever kinds of wounds she'd had, she didn't want anyone knowing about them.

Furthermore, the fact that the slight provocation of just using a pencil was enough to make her hand bleed, albeit only a small amount, proved her hands were injured moderately badly; and her defensive response to both his and Naruto's inquiries on the subject proved she was anxious to hide her injuries.

Finally, the Uchiha prodigy could tell by the blood patterns and what he could make out from his position as she ripped her gloves and bandaging off that her sores epicentered over her knuckles, especially over those used for punching. This made her story of having over worked her fists practicing kick boxing more plausible; but as he couldn't be sure from his position exactly how the wounds had been inflicted, and based on her reaction when he'd accused her of lying, and topped off by her obvious wish to keep the wounds a secret, Itachi concluded that there was something she was hiding about the entire ordeal.

As for the fight he'd just witnessed, Itachi doubted it was anything of much interest, other than that Mari was reasonably adept in martial arts. Some of the moves she had pulled on those girls -who, Itachi agreed, were quite shameless to have been willing to attack a girl at such a disadvantage- seemed to even surprise her at her own ability to do it. Itachi felt something similar to humor at the photographic memory of Mari's shocked face as she threw the girl over her own shoulder. _She's no threat, _he decided, _but definetly worth keeping an eye on. _

Itachi almost immediately decided that Leader wouldn't be interested in a non-gang fight, as out of hand as it had almost gotten. Although Moegi did have certain connections with a rival gang, the fight was clearly not about a gang war; therefore, it didn't concern the Akatsuki. Itachi turned to walk away, filing away his observations and theories for later use. _I almost felt sorry for those girls, _he reflected, again with a slight trace of humor, as he remembered the moment when they were holding her down and punching her. It had seemed as if this would be the turning point when Mari would begin to lose the fight.

How wrong appearances had been. As Mari went violently insane on the girls Itachi had almost wondered if he should intervene in hopes of keeping someone out of the hospital.

And any girl capable of tempting Uchiha Itachi to intervene, he concluded, was worth paying some amount of attention to, at least.

* * *

><p><strong>DUH DUH DUH DUH DUHHHN! I AM SUPER UPDATER!<strong>

**Hee hee hee, I am making no attempt at all to keep my ego in check! Here's the ass-kicking I promised, hope you liked it!**

**And do you like the part from Itachi's point of view? I thought it'd be cool to spend a few minutes inside the dude's head. Damn, the guy's a major badass, huh? And I don't doubt he really would be able to get Mari that worked up in less than 10 words. Heh heh...**

**So, as promised, the next update will come when I have +15 reviews from howw many I have now. I love you guys, thanks for reading, and again: DEIDARA DRAWING? PLEASE!**

**-amy out**


	13. Bracelets Are FRICKIN' EVIL

**Okay, remember the inner dialogue back in chapter 10? I'm bringing it back now. The voice of logic is now in bold, to decrease confusion.**

**There may be a large amount of typos and such in this chapter, because I typed for three hours straight and didn't upload until 1:30 AM. I am tired and ready for SLEEP, so excuse me if I misspelled something, please.**

**WARNING: Contains a rant on art and music! Hip-hop fans beware!**

**Anyways, I don't own Naruto, or any of the brand names mentioned. Lyrics used are from Chop Suey and Toxicity, both by System of A Down, and She's A Rebel by Greenday.**

* * *

><p>So I go home, get over shock, take shower, clean self up, con Kai into making cookies for me, play Nazi Zombies and DOMINATE, yadda yadda. Nothing you'd be interested in hearing about. The only other thing of any interest that day is whenthe phone rings.<p>

Which, you know, wouldn't normally be a big deal -I mean, the phone rings all the time, right?- but the conversation I had with it once I answered it is worth knowing about. (Fuck, I'm a terribile narrator.)

"Is this the parent or gaurdian of Mari Sui?" the phone asks. (Only, now that I think of it, the _phone _wasn't the one who said it, it was the person on the other end of the phone. Duh.) I immediately start to panic; my parents are still missing and I have no idea where they might be. I manage to calm myself down pretty quickly though; they won't be able to recognize my voice through the phone. I'll just claim to be my mom.

"Yes, this is her mother," I answer, in a somewhat lower voice than my own as an added precaution.

"Hello. I'm Tsunade, the principal of Leaf High. I'm afraid Mari's been getting into some trouble lately," Tsunade tells me, sounding totally relaxed. I can just imagine her with her feet on her desk, leaning back in the chair, holding the phone to her ear with her shoulder as she downs a bottle of beer.

"Really. How so?" I ask, trying my best to sound grown-up and professional.

"Well, she got in a fight with some other girls after school today," Tsuande continues.

"What?" I ask, trying my best to feign surprise -and apparently failing.

"Couldn't you tell?" Tsunade asks, sounding somewhat suspicious. "From what I heard, she left from school looking pretty messed up."

"She…Mari hasn't arrived home yet," I improvise quickly, trying to think of what a normal mother might ask in this situation. "Um…was she hurt pretty badly? Did those girls…"

I hear Tsunade chuckling. "Oh no. She won. Three to one fight, actually. Girl's got spirit."

"Wait, _three to one?_" I ask, really getting into the concerned-mother part now.

"Yep," Tsunade answered solemnly. "Normally I wouldn't punish her under such circumstances, but this isn't the first fight she's been in. She got in a fight with an older boy in the halls no more than a week ago."

"Really." I pause, giving my pretend-mother mind time to get angry. "Why didn't you tell me about that when it happened?" Damn I'm good!

"Well, I regret to say that I treated it as something of a joke. At the moment it seemed more like a couple's fight that got out of hand."

REALLY. I glare at the wall, trying to keep from losing my temper. "Well. I'll certainly be discussing this with Mari when she gets home."

"Yes, I think that'd be for the best."

"Well, is she going to be suspended, or…"

"Yes, actually," Tsunade told me. "Tomorrow and Wendsday. She can come back to school on Thursday."

"Gotcha," I reply, inwardly thanking the heavens for an excuse to forgo school for long enough for my black eye to fade. I wasn't looking forward to answering questions about where I got it.

"Mm-hmm. Look, I'm a little worried about Mari," Tsunade continues. "Fighting so much, you know? Is there anything going on lately to maker her…angry?"

"Oh, not really," I answer. "Mari's always been something of a troublemaker, m-" Luckily I catch myself just in time before uttering the entirely non-Mom-like word 'man'.

Tsunade either doesn't notice or doesn't care. "I see. Well, I hope this is the last time I have to call you."

"Me too," I agree, although inwardly thinking, _Not likely, man. _

And so, as previously stated, I didn't go to school for two straight days. It was fun staying at home and not dealing with bitches starting drama, Blonde Prick, Weasel Dick, or Hidan. Wait, why I not have nickname for him? That shall change, as soon as I begin feeling clever.

...This could take a while.

So, I wake up early Thursday morning and down coffee to get myself hyped for the day. Immediately after coffee comes music:

_"Wake up! _

_Brush your hair put on a little makeup!_

_Hide the scars to fade away the shake up!_

_Why'd you leave the keys upon the table?_

_Close your eyes create another fable!_

_You wanted to!"_

This is seriously the best song to listen to in the morning. I grin and carry my earphoneless iPod with me to go change.

I picked out my outfit special today, just cause I got bored last night. Today I'm wearing gray jeans with tons of holes, red fishnest under, combat boots in case Hidan makes any sort of comment on the aforementioned, my black Avenged Sevenfold skintight shirt with those weird sleeves that go out to the side of your shoulders instead of by your neck, with a black tanktop under. Then my leathah jacket (you gotta say it with word swagg!), a little more eyeliner than usual, hair in my characteristic ponytail/bangs combo.

Even better, while cleaning my closet I find two of my long-lost favorite bracelets; my black leathah, two-inch-thick Pantera bracelet with silver studs, and my red stretchy bracelet that says "DOES NOT WORK WELL WITH OTHERS" on it. I slip them on happily, one on each wrist, along with my beaded 'punk' bracelet and white "HOT MESS" plastic one.

I add the finishing touch -my headphones- and check myself out in the mirror.

Yes -I look hot.

I grin and crank up the volume as loud as I can stand. If your music isn't loud enough to make your ears bleed from prolonged use, well then, 'TIS NOT LOUD ENOUGH! Art is meant to be experienced loud, proud, and in the moment, none of that tasteful, premeditated bullshit! Art is all about emotions, and emotions have no system or order or sense to them; they come, they pass, they live, they die, they're a beautiful mess. And that's what art is! Art is controversial, spontaneous, expressive, and LOUD! Art is rock! Dattebayo!

_I sound just like Naruto,_ I think happily. _Dattebayo._

I love that boy. Not like that, perverts, like a friend. Although if I had to choose any male in the world to be my boyfriend, well, Naruto's pretty much the only one I don't hate other thank Kai. I love talking music with him, quoting internet videos and comedy skits, our Yo Mamma joke contests*****, everything! He's impossible to be bored around!

I set my iPod to a new song, also by System of a Down:

_"What? How d'ya own the world?_

_How d'you own disorder, disorder?_"

I grin, remembering when me and my old friends moshed to this back at an eighth grade dance. Me and my girl Joseph (Yes, girl; yes, Joseph. You don't get to know.), after listening to endless hip-hop songs again and again -they played the six or seven most popular ones on loop because the kids requesting songs had no individuality- went and stood stubbornly in front of The Man, listing off every alternative rock song we could think of. We declared that we would not leave until they played some real music -and they played Toxicity. And we moshed hardcore.

That's another reason rock is awesome: moshing. I love violence but hate all the drama and hate people attatch to it. Moshing is the perfect solution!

But yeah, that one song, which we practically had to hold a gun to the guy's head to get him to play, was the only rock song played that entire three hours. It really pissed me off how they played songs where the singer told all the bitches in the house to suck his balls, and that was fine, but Chop Suey was explicit! Fucking hip-hop.

Okay, granted, not all hip-hop is a waste of time, there's some good stuff under all the hype and industry bullshit. But for the most part, hip-hop is garbage! I've listened to tons of it in an effort to make myself appreciate it, but some of the songs, the only thing you can say for it is that it's got a 'good beat'. And if your music has lyrics that sound like a five-year-old could've written them, your intrumentals are made by a computer program, and your voice is autotuned, I don't care how popular you are. YOU ARE NOT A TRUE ARTIST!

Whoa, calm down, Mari. The hip-hop will not reach my safe haven of rock and roll. The iPod is here now. The iPod is here...

Wow, I really am crazy.

When I get to school, I decide I'm in the mood for waffles. No, not pancakes -waffles. Waffles kick some pancake ass. Waffles pwn pancakes, dogs pwn cats, rock pwns hip-hop, Dr. Pepper pwns Coke and Pepsi, werewolves pwn vampires, Red Hots pwn Hot Tamales, and idiots pwn normals! FUCK YEAH!

**...No more caffiene for you.**

_Shut up, voice of reason._

**Telling your voice of reason to shut up? No wonder you're always in trouble.**

_Shut the hell up, logical me._

**Ooh, I'm convinced.**

_I am ignoring you now._

**Yeah, because ignoring me worked out sooo well last time.**

_You know, you're not really helping with the whole inner-healing thing, for someone so concerned with my well-being._

**One of us has to be concerned, otherwise you'd be dead by now.**

_Psshh, yeah, right, I've been fine up till now, haven't I? And when did you even start to exist, dude?_

**_In what sense of the phrase? I've existed all along, actually, it just hasn't been until now that you've embodied my nature in a split personality inside your own. I think I like it better this way; you listen to words better than urges. _**

..._Smartass._

**Dumbass.**

_Crazyass._

**You're the one arguing with yourself, honey.**

_Fuck you, man._

_A_nyways, yeah. I get waffles.

As I'm standing in the breakfast line, I notice people keep giving my surprised or somewhat smug looks. I tense up, sure that Moegi and company spread around some rumor about them having beat me up. My still-visible scratches and bruise on my face don't help matters. I force myself to ignore them; I won that fight, and everyone who needs to know it, knows it.

_I wonder how The Bitches Three will react to this? _I wonder idly as I pour warm, thick, delicious syrup over my buttery waffles. _Probably Moegi will leave me alone for the most part, unless she's trying to show off. Gotta keep that tough girl reputation. _

'Tough girl.'

I grimace, the phrase reminding me of Deidara's patronizing nickname for me. Not that he's used it much, as we've mostly been too busy cussing each other out for much else. I've rarely wished for anything more than I wish not to have to look at him, talk to him, or be within thirty feet of him today. In fact, I'm mad that I even thought of him. You know what, stop thinking about him. Now.

Of course, now I'm just thinking about him more. I never can follow directions.

I shake my head and force myself to focus on the song currently playing:

_"She's a rebel,_

_She's a saint, _

_She's the salt of the Earth,_

_And she's dangerous!"_

I grin. As narcissistic as this sounds, every Greenday song about a chick sounds like me.

I hum along to th song, one earphone in and one hanging out, as I ring up my breakfast and walk over to Team Baka's table.

Emo Clown isn't sitting here today; my guess is he's with Suigetsu and that stalker chick. It's just Sakura, Naruto-kun, Ino, Shikimaru, and...and...the kid with the face paint. (Hey, I remembered the names of four out of five. That's a record for me.)

"'Sup homies!" I shout, clanging my tray down. "Aren't these waffles the shit?"

I've already sat down and taken a huge bite of my syrupy (It's a word.) waffles before I notice the epic awkward silence going on. Not even Naruto is saying anything. Naruto's looking at me like I just grew a third nostril, Sakura's looking at me in horror, Ino's grinning maniacally like all her dreams just got granted at once, Shikimaru looks bored, and that other kid looks like he doesn't know what's going on.

Anyways, none of them are talking.

"Mari-chan...I didn't know you were like that," Sakura finally manages, looking down at my Pantera bracelet.

I look at her questioningly. "Huh?"

"Your _bracelets," _Ino hisses gleefully, pointing at my right wrist.

I glance down. "Yeah, dude, I like Pantera. And?"

"Which one?" Ino asks exitedly.

"There's only one Pantera, man..." I say, getting the distinct feeling I'm missing something. I get this feeling a lot.

"Don't play dumb!" Sakura tells me. "You can tell us, we'll keep it secret. _Won't _we, Ino. And Naruto."

Ino nods hyper-ish-ly, and Naruto continues to stare at me like I'm an alien species.

"Play dumb about _what?" _I snap, starting to lost patience. "You can tell whoever you want that I like Pantera, I don't give a damn."

"Not the _Pantera!" _Ino tells me, still grinning. "_The black and red!"_

"I happen to like black and red," I say defensively.

"The _bracelets," _Sakura says.

"WHAT about the goddamn bracelets?" I ask, exasperatedly.

Me and Sakura look at each other for a full five seconds, my expression frusterated and hers of confusion slowly morphing into one of glee. "She doesn't know," she says to Ino.

Ino looks breifly dissapointed, then full of laughter again. "She _doesn't_ know!"

"She doesn't know!" Naruto exclaims happily, letting out a sigh of relief.

"She doesn't _know?_" Shikimaru asks, sounding like he thinks I'm an idiot.

"She doesn't know!" the dude with face paint laughs, wiping an imaginary tear from his eye.

"Yeah, I think it's been established that _I DON'T KNOW," _I seethe, starting to wonder if I'm being Punk'd. "Anyone care to tell me what it is I don't know?"

Sakura and Ino are now laughing, although Sakura is at least biting on her lip to keep from laughing out loud, which Ino doesn't seem to have the courtesy to do. "Oh, you'll find out," Sakura tells me, sounding amused.

Have I mentioned yet, how much I HATE it when people sound amused at me?

"Oh come on, you can't do that!" I protest as Naruto begins laughing along with them. "That's messed up, man!"

Ino and Sakura are quiet for a moment, holding in their laughter. Finally they meet each other's eyes and I can hear a snorting sound come from inside Sakura's throat. "_She doesn't know!" _

Alright, that's it. I grab my fork and turn to Sakura. "WHAT DON'T I KNOW!"

She shakes her head, still giggling. "Oh, nothing."

"It is too something! Now tell me before I smite you with this fork!"

"'Smite'?" Naruto questions.

"It's a word. Google that shit, it exists." **_(A/N: Yet another Dane Cook Refrence! Sorry guys, I love that man!) _**

_"_I find it weird that Naruto's taking a vocabulary lesson from you," Shikimaru states.

"Get used to finding things weird arond me," I advise. "But seriously, Sakura, what don't I frickin' know?"

"Hey look at the time I need to be going bye!" Sakura says, EXACTLY like I did the other day (which makes it extra irritating) before she rushes off to go empty her tray.

I look at Ino. She grins. "I ain't spillin, hon."

I turn to Naruto. He grins and shakes his head.

"Naruto, tell me or so help me God I'll disembowel you with a coat hanger and a bendy straw!" I growl.

He shakes his head, still grinning.

"Shikimaru, can I borrow your straw please?"

Within seconds Naruto's gone too.

"AGGH!" I throw my forehead onto the table, making a huge clang. I roll my head over toward Skikimaru and That One Kid. "Eh?"

"Nope."

"Troublesome."

"Fuck you guys!" I shove my waffles into my mouth top-speed, swallow and stand up to put up my tray.

I growl at the floor, but then roll my shoulders and make myself foget about it. They're probably just playing some sort of prank on me.

* * *

><p>Okay, if it's a prank it looks like the entire damn school is in on it!<p>

All through first and second period people keep glancing at my wrists, smirking at me, whispering to their friends, and then laughing in my direction! And three people so far have asked me "Which one?" My giving them the finger just seems to make them think it's even funnier.

The smart thing to do would've been to just take the bracelts off, but a sense of stubbornness rises up in me at the thought. Why should I? I like these bracelets! I will wear what I damn well wish, and they can shove their little private joke where the sun don't shine! I will wear these bracelets no matter what they do. They don't control me...bitches...

I walk into English class in a foul mood, scowling at Naruto, who's still grinning at me. Yes, Weasel Dick is here. He seems to be against not looking a zillion times better than everyone else in all situations, inculding in the department of getting-to-class-first. Prick.

"Alright. Spill it. NOW." I tell Naruto, giving him my Glare of Doom. "What don't I know about the stupidass bracelets already?"

He's chuckling. "You still don't know!"

"If I hear someone tell me that I don't know one more time I'm gonna blow this shithole to the ground!" I tell him. "What the FUCK do I not know?"

He just shakes his head, still laughing.

I turn my head toward the ceiling and groan.

"You're wearing red and black bracelets," observes a monotonous voice to my right.

I glare at the Uchiha, who once again has startled me by speaking. "No shit, Sherlock. And wow, a full sentence, you didn't hurt yourself, did you?"

"Hn."

"Gee, the longest sentence I've ever heard you utter and also the least helpful," I gripe. "Thank Baby Jesus I have you, Weasel Dick. I'm SO thankful you've chosen to take the time out of your busy schedule of not having a soul to be of no help to me whatsoever."

"Hn."

"Is that all you can say?"

"Yes."

I glare at him again before turning away. There's no point in associating with Weasel Dick. Trying to drag a coherent answer out of him is like almost impossible. I turn my attention back to interrogating Naruto. Maybe he'll give the answer away by accident.

"I wasn't kidding when I said I'd disembowel you, man," I tell him darkly.

"I don't see any coat hangers in the area, do you?"

"Why do you _want_ me to suck your brain out through your ears?"

Naruto makes a face. "That's disgusting, Mari!"

"Why do you think I said it?" I hiss. "Tell me!"

"My lips are sealed."

"You fucktard asswipe!" I snap, deciding that I'm not about to sit here and ask Naruto for an explanation again and again when he's obviously not gonna answer.

"The bracelets mean-" Itachi begins

"I don't need your help!" I snap immediately and instinctively, turning around to snarl at him.

Itachi nods curtly. "Very well."

And he goes back to reading.

It takes me exactly one second to feel like the biggest moron alive. He was about to tell me! I couldnt've just shut up for long enough to hear what the stupid bracelets meant, and _then _told Itachi I didn't need his help? And now he's not gonna offer the information again, and I'd rather eat mud than _ask_ him!

**Way to go, Einstein. **

_Now is not the time!_

**Just sayin'.**

No wonder I'm always in situations like this. My voice of reason is degrading to me and says things like 'just sayin'.

It takes all my willpwer not to slam my face on the desk, facepalm, or groan out loud. As it is I start repeating the word "stupid" in my brain like a mantra for the next several minutes.

It helps a little.

...Me and my big mouth.

* * *

><p>By lunch time, I've come up with the perfect plan for dragging the information out of Team Baka.<p>

BRIBES.

In the form of candy!

I spend all my allotted lunch money today in the vending machines, buying myself one thing of crackers and using the rest of the money to buy the favorite candy types of everyone. Namely, Skittles and Hershey's bars. Sensing Naruto would be the weakest link, I also bought some ramen. Of course he'll already be eating some when I sit down, so it might not be all that effective, but hey. I'm trying here.

_It's too bad I haven't known them long enough to have dirt on 'em, _I think absently as I shove the candy and ramen noodles into my bag. _Blackmail would've worked so much better._

Yes, it's true. Blackmail is one of the six best problem solvers in the universe. The other five being rock music, explosives, brute force, chocolate, and duck tape. No, not duct tape; DUCK TAPE. That is how it sounds, plus it makes more sense that way. Proper English be fucked.

Anyways, they're all smirking at me as I sit down. I look each one of them in the eye carefully. "I'll say this nice and easy: Whoever tells me what's the big frickin' deal about the bracelets...gets candy."

Ino rolls her eyes, unimpressed. Didn't expect it to work on her anyways.

Sakura looks slightly tempted.

Shikimaru looks, as always, bored.

Chouji is staring at me intently.

Naruto looks uneasy.

"What kinda candy we talkin' here?" Chouji asks me.

I smile slyly. "_So _glad you asked." I reach into my bag and pull out each item as I say its name: "Skittles, Original. Sour Skittles. Original Hershey's Milk Chocolate Bar. Hershey's Milk Chocolate with Almonds. Hershey's Cookies 'N' Cream. And..." I turn to look straight at Naruto, who looks like he's just barely not blurting the answer.

I grin triumphantly. "Cup O' Noodles, Pork Flavored."

His eyes bug out.

"Be strong, Naruto!" Sakura tells him.

I wave the ramen in front of his face, his eyes following it like a dog would a ball. "Come onnn, Narutooo...you know you want iiiittt..."

"That's what she said, un," says a voice from behind me as a warm hand grips my left shoulder.

I jump, not expecting anyone to touch me, and react instinctively, elbowing whoever it is (although that smug voice and speaking impairment gives me a certain sinking feeling) in the stomach.

"Someone's jumpy, un."

"Don't touch me, shithead!" I snarl, now positive that it is indeed Blonde Prick (AKA Deidara) who had squeezed my shoulder.

"You're certainly sending out mixed messages there, tough girl," he smirks, leaning down to my right as I turn my head to glare at him. "Scoot over, un."

"You've gotta be out of your fuckin' mind."

He rolls his visible eye. "Hey, Pinky, scoot over, wouldja, un?"

My immediate instinct is to make some sort of insult about how _his _hair is pink, but it looks like he really did get it dyed back to normal. My brain is still trying to comprehend this, so Sakura takes over the insulting-Deidara job. She glares at him. "Who're you calling Pinky, Bananna Head?"

"Oh gee, oh wow. 'Bananna Head'. Now there's a zinger for the history books, un," Deidara says sarcastically. "Pipe down and scoot over."

"Don't _tell _her what to do!" I snap at him.

"Alright, fine, _neither_ of you scoot over." Deidara grins mischeviously. He puts one foot in between us and sits down in the small space, facing me, so that he's pressed up against both of us. "I like this way better anyways, un."

"GET OFF, PERVERT!" I yelp as both me and Sakura scoot away from him.

He laughs as he swings his other lef around under the table. "That's what I thought, un."

I give him the Glare of Utter Hatred for having weasled his way into our lunch table AGAINST OUR WILL, which annoyingly only seems to make him smirk more. "What the hell do you want, prick?"

"Just paying a little visit, un."

I snort. "Yeah, out of the goodness of your heart, huh?"

"Exactly. Plus..." His eyes drift down toward my wrists in a way that makes my stomach lurch. "...I wanted to find out it the rumors were true un."

I roll my eyes. "The fight's none of your damn buisness, man."

"Fight?" He looks genuinuely surprised. "Who said anything about a fight? I just wanted to see if you were really wearing acorn cuffs."

"_Acorn _cuffs?" I ask, making the WTF face.

"AK-OWN, Einstein," he smirks. "The official term for those bracelets, un."

"AGAIN with the goddamn bracelets!" I exclaim exasperatedly as Team Baka lets out a collective groan. "What the hell does it matter what bracelets I wear?"

"We'll get back to that," Deidara tells me, obviously enjoying this. "First...what about a fight?"

The facepalming I've been suppressing since my conversation with Weasel Dick finally surfaces in all its glory. "Like I said, it's none of your buisness-"

"_Man," _Deidara finishes along with me, grinning as I lower my eyelids in the Annoyed look.

There's a short silence.

"Don't do that," I tell him, turning away from this retarded conversation and toward my bag of sour skittles.

"Come on, un," Deidara continues smugly as I throw skittles into my mouth. "You can tell me, un."

"No I can't, and id I could, I still wouldn't, because you're a prick."

He's silent for a minute. "Well, can I at least have some skittles?"

"No way in hell."

Naruto pokes me. "Hey, can _I_ have some skittles?"

"Me too?" asks Ino.

I glare at them. "After all that 'she-doesn't-know, she doesn't know, she doesn't FUCKING know' bullshit, you still expect me to just _hand over _the skittles?"

They nod, faces totally innocent.

I sigh and roll my eyes, passing around the bag. "You guys are ridiculous, dude."

"Which is why you hang out with us!" Sakura tells me cheerily. "HEY! Chouji! Leave some for me, cha!"

"And me," Deidara chimes in.

"You don't get any!" I snap. "Now tell me about this acorn bracelet thing, people keep looking at me weird and it's driving me nuts, dude!"

Deidara smirks at me. "Only if you tell me about this fight, un."

I make an exasperated sound at him, which he imitates with annoyingly accurate results.

We have a ten-second staring contest, me glaring and him smirking.

"...Fine. Alpha Bitch sucker-punched me, three on one, I kicked their asses, went home. Happy now?"

"Wait, _who _sucker-punched you, un?"

"Moegi."

"Three on one, un?"

"Plus two followers."

"How'd you win three-to-one, un?"

"Cuz I'm a fucking badass!"

"Hell yeah!" Naruto says, holding up a hand which I high-five with vigor. "That's Mari-chan for ya!"

"Seriously, what'd you do?" Deidara asked, looking surprised. "You weren't all that good when I fought you, how'd you manage to take three bitches at once, un?"

I flip him off. "I was fucking _beast _and I kicked your drag queen ass when we fought, Blonde Prick. Now tell me about the bracelet thing, dude."

He looks about to say some other dumb shit, but then he looks down at my upraised wrist and smirks. "Be happy to, un."

He grabs the bag of skittles from Sakura and pours several into his mouth before I can grab them away from him.

"So, awhile ago," he begins as he chews the skittles and I flip him off with both fingers, "the Akatsuki set up these rules for clothing and shit like that in gang territory. Rings are specially made for each Akatsuki member. People on good terms with or who are under the protection of the Akatsuki wear red and black. People who oppose the Akatsuki wear blue and white, un."

"Oh, so you're just gonna go out and say what everyone can and can't wear?" I burst out.

"Hey, calm your tits, I'm trying to explain this shit to you! Look, ony the ring thing is much of a big deal; if we were all that uptight about people wearing our gang colors, we'da shot you by now for wearing so much of it without permission, un."

"Fascinating. So how does this tie in with the acorn bracelets?"

"I'm gettin' there, I'm gettin' there!" he tells me, his smirk growing disturbingly. "See, there's one more tradition the Akatsuki upholds when it comes to clothes and shit like that: the Ak-Own braceletes. It's short for 'Akatsuki Ownership', get it, un?"

I can already tell I'm not gonna like where this ends up. Apparenlty it shows on my face because Deidara is now nodding and grinning at me. "Oh yeah! It used to be, like, sometimes a member of another gang would ask for protection from their gang or for forgiveness for them fucking with the Akatsuki. Other times a civilian would just need a favor, and instead of payment they'd offer services themselves -errand-running, and shit, un."

I glare at him and start ripping open a chocolate bar as he goes on with the explanation: "Originally they'd attatch a pair of black and red handcuffs to one of your arms for a certain period of time. They were a symbol of the Akatsuki's dominance and, yes, ownership over said person, un."

I'm not gnawing at my chocolate bar like it's the neck of the human race. Team Baka is not being helpful. They're too busy trying not to laugh.

"Over time the tradition got somewhat less extreme, changing from handcuffs..."

"Into bracelets," I answer grimly.

The look on his face tells me I'm right.

_Fuck my life._

"Oh, it gets better," he grins, enjoying this way more than he should like the bitchy prick he is. "Recently, the Aka-Own bracelets have been used mainly by Akatsuki...prostitutes. Un."

The look on his face is unforgivable, as is my so-called friends' snorts of laughter.

I yank the bracelets off despite the stinging it causes my hands even through the bandaging and gloves, to more general hilarity.

Deidara laughs smugly at my pissed expression. "Too late. The damage has been done; everyone's just wondering just _which one _of the Akatsuki you're a whore of, un."

FUCK MY LIFE. "That's a hell of an assumption to make based on some fuckin' bracelets!" I scowl.

"Well, life's a bitch, un." He gives me another smug grin and then says in a hushed voice, "Hey, this'll make it a little better though. Come here," and he puts his hand over hs mouth like he wants to tell me a secret.

After an initail moment of suspicion my curiosity overwhelms me. I lean my head toward him, ear toward his mouth.

"_I wonder which one of us they'll think you're a whore of_...un," he whispers, spreading his fingers out behind my ear and on my neck when he says the last syllable, in a way that very nearly makes me flinch.

Once again it takes me a full second longer than it should to grasp the implications, but when I finally do, all hell breaks loose.

I punch Deidara in the face, but he just laughs at me. So I steal Ino's diet coke ("HEY!") and pour it on Deidara's hair. "ASSTARD!"

"BITCH!" He scowls at me as Team Baka laughs hysterically. "What is it with you and spilling shit on me, un!"

"You should learn not to piss me off when I have access to liquids!" I snap. "And don't you ever call me your fucking whore again!"

"You said it, I didn't, un."

"Bullshit! You implied it, man!" I snap.

"All I did was _wonder-_"

"Again I say bullshit! You were fucking touching me!"

"Not my fault you get turned on so easy, un," Deidara says.

And it happens again, for half a second. His smirk and his suggestive comment and the entire situation, it just reacts to my system in some sort of way that makes me feel an impact in my stomach, followed by the feeling of something moving around in my gut, ending with me feeling out of breath and just plain fucking WEIRD!

"I wasn't turned on, I was creeped out!" I snap, the half-second surge of strange emotion just making me madder.

"Uh-huh, sure, whatever you need to tell yourself, un."

"Fuckwad!"

"Akatatsuki's whore, un."

"Blonde drag queen bitch!"

"Akatsuki's...fucking...whore, un."

I flip him off, too angry to try to come up with another insult, and besides, he's just gonna say the same thing over and over.

"But you know," Deidara says slowly. "There is one person in particular who hasn't heard about you wearing Aka-Owns yet, un."

"I don't care who it is, you fucker, go away."

"...Hidan."

Ba dump.

Ba dump.

_**...FUUUUUCCCCKKKKK!**_

"Don't you dare fucking tell him, you son of a bitch!" I snap.

"Oh I'm sure someone else already has. I mean, look at him, un, " Deidara says, pointing at the Akatsuki's table.

I reluctantly look to see that, sure enough, a majority of the Akatsuki (other than the ones who never show emotion, ever, e.g. Itachi and Sasori) are looking at our table and laughing.

Including Hidan.

Especially Hidan.

_Mainly _Hidan.

FUCK my life.

Deidara pats me on the shoulder. "Have fun in Biology, un."

* * *

><p><strong>Prepare self for long-as-fuck Author's Note.<strong>

**I'm sorry for slight lateness, and I love you guys for reviewing! I'll work on the next chapter at school tomorrow, and not throw the pages away, and not waste three hours onYoutube before getting around to writing tomorrow. *Facepalms* I won't miss deadline next time! I'll update when I get +15 reviews, I SWEAR IT!**

**Oh, and this is just a random thing I thought of: It would've made sense to have Karin be one of the shameless bitches, but that's such a cliche I decided against it. Besides, I don't really hate Karin; she's just annoying the way all the Sasuke fangirls are. **

…**Okay, this is really stupid, but I didn't write the character of Moegi with Konahamaru's friend in mind. In fact, until I read the reviews I wasn't even aware that there WAS a character named Moegi. I based this character's name off of Mogeta from the Furuba series. *Facepalm* That's one fucker of a coincidence, especially since I envisioned Le Biatch as totally different than Moegi in the Naruto series. So, sorry, people, if the image of a bitchy girl with orange pigtails and pink blush won't get out of your head. Geez, I feel stupid…**

**Now, to reviewers: I'm glad you liked the fight! I'm also glad you like the Itachi POV, I was scared I wouldn't be able to do it well since my personality is more towards the Deidara/Hidan end of the scale. I'm sorry my crack-ish, bickering humor has been lagging; this chap will fix that, I promise! I'm also glad you like the talking about God part. I don't want to sound preachy, but God is a big part of Mari and a big part of me. I'm SUPER glad this fic has turned some of you onto some new music! SQUEE! Blackcatgirl, your reviews are so helpful and insightful and such, thank you! 1zara-uchiha1, your reviews rule, and don't worry about the Itachi thing. He ain't being mean, Mari's just too sensitive :P And Hiaru, no, this is not even most of the fic; it'll end up having more chapters than the plotline I showed you cuzza I'm impulsive!**

**Thanks a million Chillybean and Rainy-she-teme for drawing pink-haired Deidara! The author and readers rain endless praises upon your heads! I shall post links to said pictures as soon as The Eternal Badasses send me them! :D And Rainy, I've already come up with a vague plan to follow your request. DONT ASK FOR HINTS cuz I wont give 'em!**

**anyways, thank yewww for reading, and please update!**

**-amy out!**


	14. WTF Levels Go Off The Charts

**Thanks to Eternal Cat Moon for giving the 100th review! :D**

**And this chapter ended up being so much fun to write and so long to finish, that I'm splitting it up into two. :D ENJOY!**

**This may be THE LONGEST CHAPTAH EVAH. And I have written some pretty damn long chapters before!**

**I don't own Naruto or any brand names mentioned. Lyrics used are from I Hate You by Sick Puppies, Anything But Ordinary by Avril Lavigne, Down Together by The Refreshments, and Bullet's in the Gun by Tobi Keith.**

* * *

><p>Gangs and their stupidass traditions. People and their general idiocy. God, I hate people. I thought I did before, but now I really, really <em>despise <em>them.

That's it -I don't want to be a human anymore. Hopefully I'll wake up tomorrow morning as a dolphin. No, wait, I'd drown cuz I wouldn't be in water...

**Dolphins breathe air, dumbass, and fish don't drown. They suffocate.**

_Same damn difference! They die, don't they!_

**But not because they can't breathe.**

_Do you really think I give a flyin' rat's ass?_

**You shuold. A little knowledge won't kill you, y'know.**

_You're not making much of a case for knowledge, sister. I don't like being corrected._

**So stop being wrong.**

_Fuck you! _Man _you're annoying! No wonder I never listened to Logic before, you're a total bitch!_

**Hey, I'm a part of you, not a seperate personality altogether; I'm not an entirely different identity, just a method of working out inner conflict within your own identity.**

_...What the HELL are you talking about?_

**Tch, nevermind. **

_Well, that's not the point. The point is, I hate people and always will._

**Oh stop whining. You don't have to go to school for two days, it probably will have blown over by then.**

Yep, that's right, it's Friday after school. (I bet you wanted to know what happened in Biology huh? Well you're shit out of luck. I wouldn't relive that hour if you paid me.) Kai went to Konahamaru's again, so I have the whole house to myself to be an idiot and nurse my wounded ego.

And argue with Logica.

**So you've given me a _name _now? Wow, you really are desperate.**

_Desperate for _what?

**Interaction. You're lonely, huh?**

Logica's theory strikes home. I am lonely, to the point of creating a fake personality within my head to argue with just to pass the time. (Damn, I really am crazy.) I don't have anyone lately I can depend on, or really talk to.

Don't get me wrong -Team Baka is great. (When they're not being bitches, e.g., "She doesn't know!") It's just, I've only known them for a few weeks. It takes me months, at the least, to lower my defenses with other people, even if they're as cool as Naruto and Sakura are. I talk with them at school, and hang out with them, but I can't really lean on them, y'know?

As for family, I can't tell Kai my problems. I have to sheild him and make him strong enough to handle himself when he goes out into the world, not dump my issues on him. Besides, I doubt a nine-year-old would be of much help anyways.

And, yes, my parents are still gone. I'm starting to get worried about the lack of adults. This running-of-the-household shit is harder than it looks, dude. We're running out of money to pay the bills. I've decided to let them turn off the water first, then the electricity, if it comes to that. I just really hope they don't turn off the gas, it's cold as fuck outside. I'm starting to turn into an icecicle on the ride to school. Anyways, I'll turn 15 soon -Febuary 6, just over a week from now!- so I'll be able to get a part-time job then.

_And if that's not enough, _I think grimly, _I'll have to drop out._

The idea really depresses me. It's no secret that I don't like school, but if I don't graduate high school my life'll be totally fucked from the get-go. I'll be working minimum wage jobs forever, barely getting by, and probably end up becoming a criminal or some shit like that. Not that that would be too terrible of a job, but still. I always wanted to be the first in my family to graduate college; but if it doesn't look like that can happen, I'll be happy for Kai to be.

I know everyone and their brother would want me to tell someone what's going on, but who would I tell? And what would they do when they found out? We don't have any close family to speak of. They'd probably send us far away from here, uprooting us yet again. And even worse, there's the possibilty that they'll split us up.

I will _not _let that happen.

As for food, we're taken care of in that department. FOOD STAMPS, MOTHER FUCKERS! We get like two hundred dollars rung up to our card on the last day of every month. We just have to make do with ramen noodles for breakfast, lunch and dinner for the next four days, and we'll be fine. As for doing the grocery shopping, two hundred dollars sounds like a lot, but for a full month it's really not. I'll have to be careful.

I grimace at the idea. The fact that I, Mari Sui, possibly _the _most reckless and impulsive person alive, is deciding to be careful...well, that can't mean anything but that things are bad and rapidly getting worse.

I miss Joseph. It's impossible for either of us to be bored around each other. Of course, it's also impossible for us to stay out of trouble when around one another, or to keep from trying to strangle each other every twenty minutes, but still...I miss my sissy!

I shake my head, telling myself to snap out of it. I grab my iPod and choose a good song:

"..._You're everything I ever wanted but,_

_It's never enough._

_You're never enough!"_

I love songs like this. About hating someone you can't stand to be away from.

"_I'll take whatever I can take_

_Whenever I can take it_

_If it ever comes!_

_I hate you when you're gone!_

_I hate you turn me on!_

_I hate the way I need you when I don't know where you are!"_

It feels like I know just what they're talking about, although I'm not sure why. I try to imagine that feeling of loving and hating someone at the same time...Probably feels like a hook in your stomach, drawing you closer toward that person, or maybe-

_Deidara. _

The prick's face and smirk and mannerisms jumps immediately into my brain, making my stomach give that now-farmiliar lurch that both hurts and feels good, which I still haven't identified. _What the hell? What's he doing here? _I growl at myself. Bad enough I have to deal with him at school, and now he's jumping into my thoughts at home too? You gotta be shitting me.

I try to focus on the song, but it's like being told not to think about zebras. The harder I try not to think about Deidara, the more he jumps into my brain, the thought of the annoying girly-looking asshole becoming intertwined with the song. I scowl and turn it off, putting my iPod up. I guess I ate some bad rice or something-

**Just admit you're attracted to him already.**

Logica practically makes me choke on air with the suggestion. _What the fuck?_

**It doesn't necessarily mean you like him. Just admit it, you're a female, and he's kinda hot.**

I scowl. _Excuse me while I go try to kill my brain. Never speak of this again, and that is a direct order._

**You're totally in denial.**

_Shut up! _

I'm totally embarassed to have even had these thoughts, but I evantually dismiss them. I mean, I've been known to have a ten-minute inner conversation on whether or not tomatoes are vegeatables. (They totally are.) This wouldn't be the first time I think of stupid things.

I turn on my video games and shoot the fucknuts out of virtual zombies until I forget all about Logica's retardedness.

Evantually, though, I get bored with video games. I miss internet access so damn much!

I check the time on the digital clock, to see that it's only 8:30.

To hell with it all. I'm taking a shower.

* * *

><p>Ten minutes later I'm standing happily in my bathroom shower, hot water running comfortably down my back. Okay, something you should know about me: I shower loudly. Not just singing -although I do a shitload of that, too. I talk to myself, quote comedy bits, make fun of my own stupidity, etc. I mean, there are days when I'm tired and worn-out, so I shower normally, don't get me wrong.<p>

But...today is not one of those days.

"I for one am starting to get bored!" I declare, quoting Phineas and Ferb. "And boredeom is something up with which I shall not put! Heh heh. Phineas and Ferb is the shit. Are the shit? What the fuck does it matter? The show rules."

...

"IT'S TOO DAMN QUIET!" I scream. "La la la la la la la la la. La. LA! LA LA! Yeah, I'm a fucking GREAT singer. That song's going in the history books, no doubt about it. It could even rival 'molecules, molecules, mole mole molecules'..."

Well, if I'm gonna sing it should be a real song, at least. I clear my throat and sing, in a somewhat higher voice than usual since I want to get better at high notes:

_"Sometimes I get so weird_

_I even freak myself out_

_I laugh myself to sleep_

_It's my, lullaby._

_Sometimes I drive so fast-"_

My voice gets more enthusiastic and a little lower here, because I love this part more-

_"Just to feel the danger! _

_I wanna scream,_

_It makes me feel ALIVE!_

_"Is it enough-" _My voice breaks here. "Goddammit!"

I try again: "_Is it enough, to love?"_

Alright, that was better. "_Is it enough to breathe?_

_Somebody rip my heart out_

_And live me there to bleed_

_Is it enough to die?_

_Somebody save my life_

_I'd rather be anything but ordinary please."_

This was mine and Joseph's song. Well, okay, we had like eight songs, becuase we were both obsessed with music, but this was one of them.

This is my favorite part of the song! "_To live between the lines_

_Would make my life so boring._

_I wanna know_

_That I have been _

_To the extreme!" _I laugh out loud, getting carried away in the music. "Hell yeah!"

"_So knock me off my feet,_

_Come on, give it to me!_

_Anything to make me feel alive!_

_Is it enough to love?_

_Is it enough to breathe?_

_Somebody rip my heart out_

_And leave me there to bleed._

_Is it enough to die?_

_Somebody save my life!_

_I'd rather be anything but ordinary please..."_

"Man, Avril Lavigne is a badass. Her's name's hard to say. LA VAN GEE. Sounds French."

I freaking love songs like that. "Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all," I say.

Anyways, I love songs about free spirits and adventure and danger. I heart them. I less than three them. So, as I sing another one. _"We could write our names hear in the mud, no one's around to see them."_

This one's sang by a guy so it's not hard for me to hit the right notes -and yes, I sing it teriffically. "And that...that's just modest as hell," I giggle. "Nigahiga is a badass. But yeah..."

"_We could hang our shoes here in a tree,_

_No one's around to steal them,_

_I could give you a star,_

_You could give me one too_

_And that way we'd be even._

_I could sing a song way outta tune_

_And not care a bit about it!"_

And then I stop singing and begin making the sounds of instruments. "Dah nah nah, nah nah nah nah nah nah, NAH NAH NAH!"

Guitar solo finished, I go on with the song: "_We could both wear cowboy hats_

_And pretend that we could speak Italian._

_I could eat some gum_

_And make my breath_

_So minty-fresh to kiss you._

_Your breath'll smell like wine,_

_I like that a lot,_

_Especially when I kiss you-"_

I pause. "Uh, you just repeated the same word from the last line. Wait, no, _I _did. Why am I talking to myself? I'm still doing it! Ah, just go on with the song, Mari," I tell myself as I finally get around to shampooing. Shampooing. "Shampooing. SHAM POOING. That's a weird word...Ow!" I say, wincing as shampoo gets on my hands, stinging the sores I made.

"_I could hit my funny bone real hard,_

_And you could call me a sweetheart._

_Whoever said there's nothing new _

_Under the sun _

_Never thought much about_

_INDIVIDUALS _

_but he's dead anyways!"_

And then I stop lathering long enough to do the air guitar, complete with sound effects. "Bow chee bow wow..."

I start laughing at myself. "There is NO WAY I don't sound fucking retarded, man. What if guitars actually sounded like that...?"

"_We could all wear ripped-up clothes_

_And pretend that we were dead-hot workshop_

_I could drive a long long way_

_And not even have the gas to make it back._

_...I don't know this pa-a-art, la la la la la la..._

_We could chase our chadows around the lawn until we're both exhausted_

_I could, forget the wourd here one more time _

_And hope that no one notices._

_Whoever said there's nothing new under the sun_

_Never thought much about...MEEE!"_

Now I'm really into the song, 'dancing' like a total retard.

"WELL CARS BREAK DOWN AND PEOPLE BREAK DOWN AND OTHER THIN- OWW!" I screech as I accidentily make a full bottle of shampoo land right on my toe. "GODDAMMIT, GRAVITY!"

I grab the shampoo and throw it at the edge of the shower curtain, making it go flying into the bathroom-

"OW! Shit!"

I freeze. I stop screaming and holding my big toe. I stop hopping around dangerously. I stop breathing.

_Who the fuck just said that? _I try to convince myself I imagined it, but there's no way.

Someone's in my bathroom.

_Holy shit it's Psycho! _I let him sneak up on me while I was being a loud, singy idiot, and now he's gonna fucking cut my throat out and I won't be able to do anything but hit him with a loofah! SHIT! SHITBALL DONKEY FUCKER! I always assumed I'd die in a horror-movie-like situation, but more along the lines of zombies!

A deep, cold sense of fear settles in my stomach. I'm about to be killed by a psycho and I'm scared as fu-

Wait! NO! I am NOT scared! Mari Sui isn't scared of anything! Even when I'm naked. I will not just sit here quaking in fear like a pussy. I will look and see who it is, and if he slits my throat, well at least I didn't die a coward, right?

Slowly I peek out of the black shower curtain, expecting to see a crazyass in a clown mask with a machete, ready to hack my head off and eat my intestines.

What I see...is ten million times worse.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE?" I screech as Deidara (YES, I SAID DEIDARA! As in, the evil smirky jack-off prick DEI FUCKING DARA!) laughs his ass off.

"Enjoying the show, un," he grins, sitting on the bathroom stool and leaning on his knees, looking at me with utter sadistic glee.

"I -what the -_how much of that did you hear?_" I sputter, totally mortified.

"Ohhh, not much, un," he replies, his smirk growing and becoming more prick-ish by the second. Then he starts singing under his breath, "_Molecules, molecules, moleh moleh molecules..."_

"I was five, okay?" I screech, my face reddening horribly. "And GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!"

"And why would I want to do that, un?"

"BECAUSE I'LL FUCKING SCRATCH YOUR EYEBALLS OUT!"

"How? You're naked, un."

In my shock and outrage at Deidara being in my house and hearing me singing my retarded songs, I'd forgotten this obvious fact. And now that I remember it...

I instinctively crouch down and pull my knees up, even though he can't see anything but my face. "GET OUT, MAN!"

"Maybe later, un." My stomach gives that unsettling lurch as Deidara looks into my eyes. "This is the first time I've seen your whole face at once, tough girl, un."

I scowl at him. "You wear your hair the same fucking way, Blonde Ass Prick."

"So, un?"

"So _I'm _a girl. It makes _you _look like a lesbian, you're fucking girlier than I am!"

"A peice of drift wood is girlier than you are, un." Deidara doesn't look at all mad at my having called him girly-looking, when usually that's a surefire way to get him spitting mad. And you know why? Because he's totally in control right now. I can't do anything but throw the conditioner bottle or bar of soap at him without flashing him first, unless I can convince him to leave and let me change. I'm so full of disgust at this situation that I almost feel nauseous. "You gonna wash those suds out of your hair, un?"

I glare at him for a full five seconds before going back into the shower and holding my head under the water. "Get the hell out of my bathroom!"

"Don't feel like it, un."

"GET OUT!"

"Make me, un."

"Ooh, when I get out of here I'm gonna slam you so hard, man!" I seethe, pissed as hell.

"Well, that certainly doesn't tempt me to leave very soon, un."

" I. WILL. FUCKING. _KILL YOU_!"

"You might wanna change tactics there, _tough girl. _Idle threats are getting you nowhere fast."

"It's not a threat, dick sock, it's a promise! Get the fuck out of my bathroom or I will devour your intestines with a spork!"

"Gee, I wonder if how long the hot water will last, un." I can practically see the smugness mingling with the steam in the air.

"You can't just leave me in here forever!"

"Oh, I beg to differ. I clearly can leave you in there for as long as I want, un."

"Fuckhead. What do you want?" I snap.

"What do I _want? _Are you offering?"

"HELL NO! I mean, do you just want to sit in here and argue with me, or what?" I ask sulkily.

"Well, as fun as that sounds, I gotta say it was more entertaining when you were singing, un."

"Fuck you!"

"Anytime, un."

"GO GET BUTTFUCKED BY A METH-HEAD COKE TWEAKER!" I shout. Yes, I got that from the Hangover. I get many things from many different other things.

"You're so touchy when it comes to the topic of sex, tough girl."

"Am not."

"Or is it just the topic of sex with me, un?"

"GO TO HELL!"

"Ding ding ding, we have a winner, un."

"Shut up!"

"You totally want to go down on me, huh?"

"EW." I visibly shudder at the suggestion, glad he can't see me. I raise my middle finger over the top of the shower curtain. "I freak out because the thought disgusts the ever living fuck out of me, I will NEVER want to touch you in any way other than to slam your face into a car windsheild! Prick!"

To my surprise, he's silent after I say this, rather than making some prickish comment. I'm hoping that maybe he's FINALLY going to leave but then he starts talking, no longer in a smug and teasing voice, but in a slow, quiet, low, pissed-off one. "Have you forgotten that the only thing seperating us is a sheet of plastic, un?"

Another lurch grabs my stomach (That's really starting to get annoying.) and everything suddenly seems more real somehow in the way that it does when you start to feel in danger. "If you so much as look at me the wrong way, I'll rip your head off and shit down your throat," I hiss. For the first time I've actually considered how horribly this could turn out for me, and the very implication of it sends me back four years...

And I will _never _let that happen again. _If he moves a muscle, I'll ram the shower cutrtain down his throat, _I decide, readying myself.

"Don't piss yourself, I don't wanna fuck your ugly ass," Deidara says dismissively, laughing at me a little.

In some twisted way this makes me feel better. "You'd better not."

He laughs out loud this time. "So nice, un. Anyways, I guess I have to let you out evantually."

"Damn straight!"

"But first..." he pauses for dramatic effect. "Sing me a song, un."

"...What the fuck?" I was expecting him to ask me to beg him or some shit like that, but now he...huh?

"Sing me a love song, un."

I let the silence stretch on for five seconds, waiting for him to go, SIKE!

When he doesn't I clear my throat. "Uh, sorry, I just hallucinated for a second -_what _did you just ask me?"

"I didn't _ask. _I TOLD you to either sing me a love song, or stay in that shower for the next four hours, un."

"HUH? That is the fucking weirdest request ever! What the hell are you smoking?"

"Hey, I like your singing voice. Is that so weird, un?"

"Yes! People don't usually ask other people to sing them songs!"

"Too bad. Sing, un."

I sputter, too weirded out by his insane request to get mad that he's trying to order me around. "Well, why a fucking LOVE song?"

"Cause it'll piss you off the most, un."

"You're an evil asshole!"

"Can you wait a second, I wanna get a tape recorder, un."

"I haven't even agreed yet!"

"You'd better hurry, the water ain't getting any warmer, un."

Unfortunately he's totally right, the water's already lukewarm and getting colder. I think of all my options, and can only come up with one. I'll have to sing my way out.

_What is this, Grease? High School Fucking Musical?_

I grit my teeth at the degradation of the entire situation. (Hey, check it out, I'm Dr. Fucking Seuss. Whoopee.) "What song, prick?"

"Surprise me, bitch, un."

I can't help but be reminded of Hidan. Immediately I shove the thought out of my brain. I'm not going to think about him when I still have to deal with Deidara.

Okay, let's see. I'm not singing a rock song, too awesome for his ears. Or a pop song, because they're all too touchy-feely and there's no way I'm singing anything like that to Deidara. How about...country?

_I can feel you breathe_? Hell no, too personal. It's a chick flick song.

_Remind me_? Not too bad, but I don't know the words.

_Already gone?..._Fuck, fine.

"Just for the record, I hate you and always will," I tell him as I think of the lyrics in my mind.

"So you picked out a song, un?"

"No shit."

"So sing it, un."

"Grr." I swallow twice, then decide just to get this the hell over with.

"_My momma mapped out t__he road that she knows_

_Which hands you shake, w__hich hands you hold_

_And my hand-me-down Mercury r__eady to go,_

_She knew that I had to go,_

_And hang out, make lots of noise_

_And lay out, late with...a boy," _I spit out grudgingly.

"Yo!"

"Shut the hell up, Deidara! _Life is a runaway, train you can't wait to jump on."_

I pause, mentally fast-forwarding to the next verse. "_They say that the first time, won't ever last_

_But that didn't stop me_

_The fist time he laughed_

_All my friends tried to warn me_

_The say that we met,_

_Girl don't you lose your heart yet._

_But his da-ark eyes, _

_Dared me with danger-"_

"Sing a different song, un."

I look around the curtain to see Deidara, who looks annoyed and somewhat embaressed. "What the fuck?"

"Sing a different damn song, un."

I sputter indignantly. "Why? What's the big deal?"

"No big deal, I just don't like this song, un."

"Since when?"

"Since I decided I didn't like it, un."

I glare at him. "You're just trying to make this harder!"

"So what if I am, un?"

"Why don't you like this song?" I challenge.

"Wouldn't you like to know, un."

"Prick! The water's getting cold, man!"

"So turn it off, un."

I scowl. Somehow sitting naked and wet in a tub seems more...ugh than sitting naked in the shower. I can't explain it, okay, it just is. "I'm not singing another dumbass song, you said to sing a song and I did, so leave, dude!"

"Nope. Sing, un."

"You -you just -OH!"

"Sure showed me, un."

I punch the bathroom wall with my left hand, appreciating the pain as an outlet for my anger. It helps me calm down, a little. Small dots of blood appear on the white walls as my hand gives a nasty throb, and I wipe them away angrily. Of all the fucking prickness in the world! He's an evil, manipulative, egotastical bastard and _damn this water is freezing fucking cold!_

I move out from under the frigid stream of water as Deidara says, "Whoa, calm down, tough girl, throwing stuff won't make a song be sung, un."

"I wasn't throwing stuff, prick!"

"You weren't singing, either, un."

OOH, when I get out of here I am going to kill him. _Kill_ him. He is going to have forks and toothpicks sticking out of his body in ten minutes. _I'm not even gonna answer him, _I decide, trying to restarin myself from screaming every foulmouthed word I know at Blonde-ass Prick. Just...sing...a song...get out of here...beat his ass...never speak of this again.

I should sing a song about hating someone, which is technically a love song but also is saying that I hate him with all my soul. This sounds like a better idea than singing about some fluffy head-over-heels romance, so I think of all the songs I know like that. _I Hate You_? No. Just...no.

I don't need to think about the reason.

Okay, not _Love The Way You Lie_ either because it talks about the girl being the victim. No. If anyone's gonna be the victim of domestic violence, it's gonna be _him. _

_I Hate Everything About You_? Well...maybe. Lyrics aren't too touchy-feely, despite the 'I love you' part in the chorus. But if I'm gonna sing a love song without the words 'I love you' in it anywhere, I'm gonna be kinda pressed for songs.

I'm about to start singing that song when, inspiration strikes me! I can sing a love song with almost no romanticness in it at all!

See, this country song came on a year or two ago, and...

I smile. It's perfect.

I start singing without saying anything, because the sonner I start the sooner it'll be over.

"_They used to call me lighting, _

_I was always quick to strike_

_Had everything I owned_

_In the saddles on my bike_

_I had a reputation _

_For never staying very long, _

_Just like a wild and restless drifter,_

_Like a cowboy in a song."_

I speed up the tempo by like five beats so the song will go faster.

"_I met a dark-haired beauty_

_Who could throw the whiskey down_

_In southern Arizona_

_In a little border town_

_She had to dance for money-"_

"Kinky, un."

I sing louder: "_In that dusty old saloon_

_I dropped a dollar in the juke box,_

_Played that girl a tune, yeah._

_You never see it comin_

_It just hits you by surprise, _

_It's that cold place in your soul_

_That fire in her eyes_

_And it makes you come together_

_Like wild horses when they run,_

_Now the cards are on the table,_

_And the bullet's in the gun."_

"Okay. Done. Now leave."

"Bullshit. Sing the rest of the song, un."

_"_Fuckhead._ She was sittin' on my lap_

_We still had shots to kill_  
><em><br>When a man pulled up who owned the bar_  
><em><br>In a Cadillac Deville_

_Grabbed her by her raven hair_  
><em><br>And threw her in the floor_  
><em><br>Said no free rides for the cowboys_  
><em><br>That ain't what I pay you for, no-"_

Deidara snorts. "Cowboys? That's what does it for you, un?"

"It's part of the song, dumbass. _She jumped up and grabbed my pistol_  
><em><br>Stuck it in the fat man's back_  
><em><br>Said open up the safe_  
><em><br>And put your money in the sack_

_Tied his hands behind him_  
><em><br>And put a blindfold on his eyes_  
><em><br>If you're dumb enough to chase us, man_  
><em><br>You're dumb enough to die!"_

Deidara laughs again. "Hell yes!"

"Would you just shut the fuck up and let me finish? _Never see it comin'_  
><em><br>It just hits you by surprise_  
><em><br>It's that cold place in your soul_  
><em><br>That fire in her eyes_

_That makes you come together_

_Like wild horses when they run_  
><em><br>Now the cards are on the table_  
><em><br>And the bullets in the gun_

_We rode across the border_  
><em><br>Down into Mexico_  
><em><br>When you're runnin' from the law_  
><em><br>Ain't that where everybody goes?_

_We came to a town_  
><em><br>With a name I couldn't spell_  
><em><br>She gave me what I came for_  
><em><br>In that Mexican motel."_

Deidara snorts. "Yeah, herpes, un."

"Would you STOP fucking interrupting me?"

"Then stop pausing, un!"

"I'm waiting for the instrumentals, fucktard!"

"Do you _see _any drums or guitars in here, un?"

"I'm playing it in my head," I snap at him. "Otherwise the tempo wouldn't be right."

"Girl, shut up and sing the damn song, un."

"YOU interrupted ME!"

"I'm about to demand an encore, un!"

"FUCK YOU! _I woke up to sirens_  
><em><br>And the sound of runnin' feet_  
><em><br>There were 50 Federales_  
><em><br>Locked and loaded in the street_

_She grabbed my 44_

_I grabbed the money in the sack_  
><em><br>She kissed me for the last time_  
><em><br>And we headed out the back_

_Every gun was on us_  
><em><br>And every heartbeat poundin'_  
><em><br>There's only one thing left to do_  
><em><br>When they got you all surrounded_

_She fired that old pistol_  
><em><br>But we didn't stand a prayer_  
><em><br>Money hit the gravel_  
><em><br>Bullets filled the air, yeah_

_Never see it comin'_  
><em><br>It just hits you by surprise_  
><em><br>It's that cold place in your soul_  
><em><br>And that fire in her eyes_

_That makes you come together_  
><em><br>Like wild horses when they run_  
><em><br>Now the cards are on my table_  
><em><br>And bullets _in the motherfucking gun," I finish. "Now get out of my bathroom."

"Ah-ah-ah," Deidara says, like he's scolding a little kid, only smirkier. Fucking prick. "You didn't sing the last line right, un."

"You've got to be fucking kidding me."

"I'm waitiiiing..."

When I get out of here he is so fucking dead! I'm gonna make him suffer so bad his ghost will be too chicken shit to haunt me! "_And the bullet's in the gun!" _I finish, through gritted teeth. "Aimed point-blank against your goddamned asswad face!"

"Feisty, un."

I poke my head out of the curtains to glare at him. "LEAVE!"

"Patience, grasshopper, un." He slowly stands up, stretching leisurely, hands in the air. God, I hate him. As he opens the door of the bathroom, I close my eyes and sigh an inward sigh of relief. Finally, it's ov-

"Wait, one more thing, un."

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!"

"What's up with these pajamas, un?" he asks, holding up my PJs for critique.

"GET THE FUCK OUT YOU TURD DICK BLOWER!"

"I mean, sweats? T-shirt?" he goes on, ignoring me. The look in his eye says he's got a plan I'm not going to like. "Booor-ing. Here, let Deidara pick something better out for you, un."

"...The fuck?" I ask, not getting it like the retard I am.

"Wait here, un." Then he opens the door wide open of the bathroom. My shower is right directly in front of the door, so that I can't even reach out to shut the doors without being exposed.

"YOU GET YOUR LESBIAN ASS BACK HERE YOU SON OF A BITCHY WHORE! TURTLE FUCKER!" I screech.

"Whoa, change of attitude, tough girl," Deidara smirks as he grabs my perfectly acceptable pajamas.

"STOP CALLING ME THAT!" I scream. "And put my clothes back, man!"

"I'm picking you out a new outfit, _tough girl, _so just deal with it, un."

"You egg sucking bastard!" I screech, getting so pissed steam might be coming out of my ears.

"You know, your insults make less and less sense the madder you get, un." He steps out of my bathroom and I can't see him for a few seconds. "You wouldn't happen to have any lingerie, would you, un?"

_That's it. That is fucking IT! _I grab the conditioner bottle, preparing to throw it next time he comes in range of my horrible aim.

"I'll take that as a no. So, where do you keep your pajamas?"

"FUCK OFF DIPSHIT!"

"Guess I'm looking through your drawers, then, un." I hear drawers opening and closing, awhen I remember something horrible.

_I keep my poem notebook in my bottom drawer._

Shit! Shit! Shit! "My pajamas are in the third drawer down!" I blurt. Anything to keep him from finding those, any fucking thing!

"We appreciate your cooperation, un," Deidara calls from my closet, which is directly across the room from the shower.

I pull my head back into the shower curtain, sitting cross-legged in there with my arms crossed. This is fucking demeaning. No, that word doesn't even come close to summing up how insanely shitty this situation is! I fucking hate Deidara, I fucking hate him, he needs to die, I am going to kill him, and _it is fucking cold in here. _

"Hey, tough girl, un!"

"Fuck off, Deidara."

"You know you forgot a towel, right?"

"I always forget the towel."

"That's what she said, un."

I have to force down a snort at this. That's what she said jokes always make me laugh, regardless of who is saying it. "Fuck off."

"You just can't think of anything to say, un."

"How long does it take to pick out a shitty pair of pajamas?" I snap, still pissed that he's gonna pick out my fucking clothes like I'm his bitch or something. I am going to punch him so hard that he's gonna go flying through the walls. _I can always just change into different clothes when I get out, _I tell myself to keep from giving Deidara another thing to laugh at me about my screaming. _Just gotta tough it till then. _

It takes another minute and a half for Deidara to pick out some clothes for me. (Holy shit, just saying that sentence makes me want to puke my guts out. I'm gonna fucking slaughter him!) "Here ya go! You'll thank me when you look like an actual chick for once."

I can already tell I'm not gonna like this. I look around the corner to see what Deidara found me to we-

"Oh, hell no!"

How did he sniff out the only pink tanktop I own? The one from when I was twelve, with all the fucking flowers on it? And that skirt DID NOT come from my pajama drawer! "You've got to be fucking kidding me!"

"Take it or streak," Deidara tells me, grinning lopsidedly. "I'll give you to the count of on e hundred to change, un."

"Go fuck a monkey ass!"

He closes the door. "One, two, three..."

I immediately step out of the shower and lock the bathroom door handle. "It's got a lock on it, dumbass!"

"Have you forgotten I'm in a gang? I can disable a lock in thirty seconds, un."

"Bullshit!"

"Wanna try me, un?"

"Fuck off." I grab the stupid clothes, putting them on with disgust. I look in the mirror when I'm done, and I look fucking ridiculous. Miniskirt I'd never wear without jeans under and a low-cut hot pink spaghetti strap flowered monstrosity. Not only that, but the fuckhead took my ponytail holder, so my hair's just sitting there dripping water onto my back! I take a deep breath, telling myself that it doesn't matter. He's going to be dead in the next ten minutes anyways.

"Forty-five, forty-six-"

His fucking counting is pissing me off even more. I unlock the door and step out of the room-

To get blinded by a brilliant white light and hear clicking noises. "What the ever-living fuck!"

"The camera loves you, un," Deidara laughs.

"FUCKHEAD!" I blink, waiting for the spot in front of my eyes to go away as I process what's going on.

Deidara's holding a cell phone, that's what's making the lights. And he's pressing a button repeatedly, which is making the-

HE'S TAKING FUCKING PICTUES!

"I'm gonna slam that phone into a million fucking peices you shitty-ass cunt!" I scream, holding my hand out in front of the phone.

"Five bucks I can press 'send' faster than you can get to it, un."

"Five bucks I'll smear your face all over the fucking walls!" I screech, grabbing for the phone only to have him pull it up out of my grasp.

"Now, now, calm down," Deidara laughs, apparently thinking my being livid is FUCKING HYSTERICAL. "I won't send the pictures unless you try to cause my bodily harm, un."

"Oh, so you're using blackmail to keep from getting your ass beat?" I snap, giving up my attempts to reach the phone. I just feel ridiculous.

"No, I just think the rest of the night will be more fun if I don't keep having to make sure my back's not to you, un."

"REST OF THE FUCKING NIGHT!"

"Well, yeah. This is more fun that I've had in weeks, un!"

I flip him off. "Fuck that! Get out of my house, man!"

"You know, I can always call Hidan over here too-"

"Go to hell!"

"So we're at an agreement."

I glare at him, trying to melt his head, as he gives me a new kind of smirk. Not as bold and smug, more kind of...posessive. Wait, WHAT? POSESSIVE? FUCK THAT!

"Stop looking at me like that!" I snap.

"Like what? Like this, un?" and he up-downs me, grinning and making me feel like he's touching me from five feet away.

"YES THAT!" I scream, feeling that lurch and becoming more and more uncomfortable. Okay, fine, I don't like situations like this! I admit it, I don't know how to handle it other than violence!

"Yes. Do it. Okay," he says, his grin widening.

"You got that from Shrek! And if you come closer I'll chop your head off with garden pliers!" I tell him, fighting the insane urge to back away. This is just too much like the last time, the only other time I've felt anything within a hundred-mile range of this, and look what happened then!"

"Yes, I did get it from Shrek, and learn how to take a joke, tough girl."

"STOP FUCKING CALLING ME THAT!"

* * *

><p><strong>The rest of the story, COMING UP IN THE NEXT CHAPTER! Now review the crap out of this chapter so I'll feel super-extra motivated to upload! :D Win-win, bitches!<strong>

**And I know some of you were looking forward to reading about the Hidan thing. Sorry, I tried writing it but it just ended up being stupid. So, I leave it to your imaginations :/**

**So, please review, sorry for slight lateness, and thanks for reading!**

**-amy out!**


	15. I Get My First Kiss

**GUYS: I'm sorry for the spazzness, but I forgot an important and plot-like scene the first time I uploaded this! *FACEPALM* FORGIVE MEH! But it's longer now, so...yeah.**

**J****oseph: YOUR DEBUT IS COMING UP! And it will be badass. I'm not making either Mari or Joseph more badass than the other, but Joseph will be badass in different ways. They're the perfect team of troublemakers!**

**Hiaru-chan, I'm sorry but I'm not gonna include your OC. I know I suck, but I tried writing it and it just screwed with the story too much. And how cliché is the 'three-OCs-meet-Akatsuki' thing? I just couldn't do it. I'm sorry D: Forgive meh!**

**But anyways, you don't wanna read this crap! Let's do this thing!**

**I no own Naruto, or any brand names. **

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><p>Today is not one of my better days.<p>

Believe it or not, it's possible for me to go through an entire twenty-four hours without a disaster. I've been known to get through entire school days without getting harassed by anyone whatsoever. There have been days when doing something simple like taking a GODDAMN SHOWER didn't result in one of the most mortifying experiences of my ENTIRE FUCKING LIFE.

Do I have to tell you that today is not one of those days?

"Aww, is somebody sulking, un?" Deidara teases as I sit on the ground, arms crossed and legs tucked all girly because otherwise my skirt will show.

_I fucking hate skirts. _Why do I even own one? I only ever wear skirts over jeans, but still! "Get out of my fucking house."

"Don't feel like it, un."

"I'll call the cops."

"They can't do shit, un."

I glare at him intensely, extremely pissed off by his nonchalant expression. "Do you not even know how fucking creepy this is?"

"What? I'm just talking to you, un."

I give him a _God, you're stupid _look. "No, I mean the past hour."

He gives me a blank look. "That's what I've been doing, un. Talking to you."

I roll my eyes. "Bullshit. Let's recap: First you break into my house. Then you hear I'm in the shower and _stay in there _quietly so I won't FUCKING hear you. Then you refuse to leave the shower. THEN, you fucking STEAL MY CLOTHES and make me wear a girly-ass outfit, take pictures of me to blackmail me in said girly-ass outfit, and still refuse to leave, even when I threaten to call the cops."

He gives me another blank look. "Aaaaand?"

I try to smack him but he blocks my hand at the last second, giggling. "Okay! Okay! I was just messing with you! I know you're pissed, un!"

"_Pissed does not even begin to cover it," _I hiss, tilting my head down so that my eyes get all shadowed black.

"You're overreacting, un."

I blink at him. Twice. "Did we just spend the last hour in the same FUCKING UNIVERSE? What the hell is the matter with you?"

Deidara just laughs at me. "Hey, you dyed my hair pink. Now we're even, un."

"Get the fuck out of my house."

"No, un."

"I wasn't _giving _you a _choice!" _I shout. "WALK OUT, or I will drag you out!"

"If I'm leaving, I'm taking my phone with me, un."

I try to melt his head with my eyes again.

Deidara sighs. "Look, I'll delete the pictures, but I'm not leaving just yet, un."

"YES YOU FUCKING ARE, MAN!"

"Do you do _anything _but scream?" Deidara asks, sounding annoyed.

"NO!"

Deidara rolls his eyes. "You're such a bitch, un."

"If I'm such a bitch then leave my house!" I snap.

"I'm sure not going to now, un!"

"Because you're a sadistic asshole!"

"Damn straight, un!"

"AHHHHHHH!" I scream, as loud as I can.

Deidara reaches out and puts his hand over my mouth. "SHUT UP, UN!"

I start to rip his hand off, when-

_What the fuck is that? _

There's something slimy and wet in my mouth! Did he put a slug in my mouth of something?

"Oh, shit, I forgot!" Deidara cursed, taking his hand off.

I make a disgusted face at him. "What the hell was _that?"_

Deidara looks somewhat embarrassed, before showing me both of his hands face-up. I look up to see that there's a mouth on each one of his hands, sticking their to-

Wait…what?

I stare blankly. "Mouths."

"Yep, un."

"On your hands."

"Yep, un."

I stare at him in utter disbelief as he looks back at me like he's mad at the world.

"I know, it's freaky. I usually wear these skin-colored glo-"

"YOUR HAND JUST FUCKING TONGUED ME!" I screeched, feeling nauseous. "EW! EW! EW!"

Deidara looks at me in surprise, then starts laughing. "They do that, un."

"EWWW!" I cried, spitting onto the floor. "DID YOU DO THAT ON PURPOSE?"

"_No! _The tongues move on their own, un."

"I'm gonna puke!" I get up and run to the bathroom to wash my mouth out.

"And here I thought you were a tough girl. It's not _that _bad, un."

"YES IT FUCKING IS!" I yell, coming out of the bathroom, still disgusted. "It's exactly that bad! My first kiss is to a he-she's hand! HOW is it 'not that bad'?"

Deidara frowns. "I am NOT a he-she, un."

"Yes you _a-haa-hare_," I whine, like I'm crying, kind of enjoying the chance to piss him off. "You probably have a mangina and everythiiing!"

"I fucking do not, un!"

"That or you're gay with your danna!" I go on, finding it harder and harder not to laugh.

"I AM NOT GAY, UN! I sleep with tons of chicks, un!"

"Good cover, man!" By now I'm not even pretending to not be laughing.

He looks really pissed. "Yeah, well, you're either a lesbain or asexual! What kind of chick hasn't kissed anyone at fifteen, un?"

That sobered me up a bit. "I'm only _fourteen, _and guys don't like me because I scare them off, dude."

"Psshh," Deidara says, grinning lopsidedly. "You ain't that scary."

"That's because you ain't seen me crazy yet!" I glare at him. Yes, that's a line from some country song. I can't always come up with my own shit, okay? So I reference stuff, it makes me sound somewhat clever.

Deidara laughs out loud. "You're always crazy. Besides, you were pretty pissed when we fought, un."

"Damn straight! How's that black eye feeling, man?"

"Don't get smug, you still have bruises all over you, un."

"These are from a DIFFERENT fight, dude!"

"You are a piece of work, un," he smiles.

Okay, it sounds really lame to be describing something like a smile, but it's important, okay? This time when he smiled, it wasn't like he was smirking or laughing at me or making fun of me with that dumbass nickname ('Tough girl'? Seriously? It's not even vaguely insulting…so why the hell does it bother me so much?). He was just smiling, like we're friends.

It kinda confused me.

Of course, he had to go and ruin it almost immediately. "But you seriously haven't kissed anyone yet? What a loser, un."

I roll my eyes. "Yeah, cuz I'm gonna take advice from someone who 'sleeps with tons of chicks, un'," I say, making the "quote" gesture with my fingers.

"Hey, I can't help it if girls can't keep their hands off, un," he grins douche-ily.

I roll my eyes, not even going to dignify the implication with a response. "Not this girl, man."

Deidara snorts. "Since when do you count as a girl, un?"

I flip him off. "Fuck you!"

"Again with the mixed messages, tough girl, un." Then his eyes glance down at my hands, up-

And then he double-takes, looking back at my arm. His expression darkens.

I'm still just sitting there wondering when he grabs my arm and looks at it closer. "_What _is this?" he asks darkly. "What the HELL is this?"

I pause. "_That _would be my ARM," I answer, like I'm talking to an idiot.

He glares at me more, then turns my arm over slowly so it's faceing fore-arm up. "No, dumbass. _This." _And he points to-

Oh. The scars.

I look back up to him, and see that he looks pissed. "I fell down," I mutter, yanking my arm back.

"Bullshit!" Deidara snaps, grabbing my arm again. "You cut, un!"

"So?" I ask, narrowing my eyes. "It's none of your buisness, man!"

"'None of my buisness'?" Deidara asks incredulously. "You fucking CUT YOURSELF and that's NONE OF MY BUISNESS, UN?"

"Yes!" I say, looking at him weirdly. "Why would you care? I don't like you and you don't like me, so you can just mind your own damn buisness!"

Deidara glares at me. "Fine. Cut all you want. Cut until you cut a vein and your fucking arm bleeds out. Why should I care?"

"You certainly _sound_ like you care," I answer, rubbing my arm where he grabbed it.

"Well, I don't." Just like that, his eternal smirky grin is back. "You just didn't seem like the cutting type, _tough girl."_

_"_Is it just permenantly intwined in your system to always bean asshole?"

"We've already established this, un, he answers, bringing up his hands and sticking three tongues out at me at once.

"Whoa. Now that's just freaky, dude."

"Like you aren't impressed, un!"

"Yeah, I really want hand mutations. It's my dream, dude." I give him a mild glare. "And I'm still mad about the hand-tongue thing. Nasty."

"Bullshit, I bet you totally enjoyed it, un."

"GROSS! I did not, your hand kisses like a dog, un!"

"You would know what that feels like, un."

"Fuck off!"

"You hafta admit, you set yourself up for that one, un."

I flip him off, indicating that he's entirely right. "I'm gonna go change, dude."

"Aw, but you look so _cute _in a skirt!" He smirks at me.

I punch him in the stomach, making his eyes bug out as he tries not to show a reaction. "Don't you EVER say that again, sponge fucker!"

"Another reason you haven't kissed anyone yet," Deidara says in a slightly strangled voice. "You react to compliment with violence, un."

"That wasn't a compliment and you know it, dude!" I narrow my eyes at him.

"Most girls would faint with joy if a hot guy like me called them 'cute'."

"I'm not like most girls, and you're not that hot," I tell him immediately.

Unfortunately I must have the entirely worst poker face ever, because an evil grin starts to grow on his face. "Oh really, un?"

I may not have known Deidara for very long, but I know EXACTLY what he's thinking right now. And FUCK THAT! "Really!" I say, turning away from him to go get some freaking jeans and a t-shirt.

"Hey, hey!" Deidara shouts. "I didn't say I'd let you change, un!"

I slowly turn around to glare at him. "You don't _let _me do anything!"

"I let you talk to me, don't I, un?"

"I mean you aren't in charge of me!" I snap, finding acceptable clothes. "I'll change if I want to."

"I'll follow you, un."

"I'll beat your ass!"

"I'll send the pictures, un."

"I'll fucking kill you!"

"The pictures will still be sent, un."

He's an evil fucking genius. I give him a Look.

He gives me one back, making fun of me.

"Don't be a dick."

"Don't be a bitch, un."

"You're stupid."

"_Burrrn," _he says sarcastically.

I roll my eyes and just pull the t-shirt over the tank top and jeans under the skirt.

"Dammit, un," Deidara says as I get rid of the skirt.

"Not rocket science, Einstein," I tell him.

"Einstein wasn't a rocket scientist, un."

"Like you know about rocket science!"

"You'd be surprised," he grins. "Rocket science has much to do with explosives, un!"

"Oh yeah," I scrunch up my face. "So you know how to make the rocket ship go boom."

"What else do I _need _to know, un?" His eye lights up excitedly. "Art wins every time! Art is a blast!"

"Art is EXPRESSION and SPONTANEOUS EMOTIONS," I tell him, narrowing my eyes.

"Spontaneous! Explosions! Duh!"

"Explosions just destroy stuff!" I snap.

"Artistically, un!" Deidara replies.

"Art is supposed to build people up, not tear them apart!"

"Art is supposed to be fleeting and explosive!"

"That's stupid!"

"Philistine bitch, un!"

"Terrorist prick!"

"Music whore, un!"

"Bomb fucker!"

"Are you honestly gonna try and tell me that _music _is better than EXPLOSIONS?" He looks totally disgusted.

"The good music!" I declare passionately. "Like rock!"

Deidara snorts. "Rock is a bunch of crack heads head-banging to cheap guitar music, un."

"NO IT IS NOT!" I screech. "You're retarded, man! You wouldn't appreciate true art if it spat in your girly-ass face!"

"_You _wouldn't recognize true art if it blew up straight in front of you!" Deidara tells me, looking disgusted. "Stand aside and watch this, un."

He stands up and reaches for his man bag (yeah, not gay at all, right?), me thinking nothing more than "question mark?" However when I see him take some white clay and start molding it with a maniacal look in his eye, I understand. "Don't blow up my house, you dick!"

"Relax, I'm not a suicide bomber. Yet, un." There's a look in his eye that can only be described as "a crazy-ass about to blow shit up". He throws the clay ball into the air, made a hand sign, and screamed, "KATSU!"

There was a bang and multi-colored light streamed from the thing. And, yes, it looked awesome, but let's not overlook the obvious: He cause an explosion. A relatively small one, but an explosion nonetheless.

Indoors.

Right next to my dresser.

"YOU FREAKING PSYCHOPATH!" I screech as my clothes fly all over and my dresser catches fire. Deidara laughs maniacally.

"Art is a blast! Does that blow your mind, or what, un!"

"You just blew up my dresser!" I shout as I go to pat out the flames before it burns my whole house down.

"Yeah! It was awesome!" Deidara cries happily. "A dresser is small price to pay to experience true art, un!"

"YUR ART SUCKS!" I shout, even though secretly I think it was pretty cool. "YOU OWE ME A NEW DRESSER! ASSHOLE!"

He glares at me. "I should explode you, too. See how much my art sucks then, bitch! UN!"

"It'll suck just as much as it did just now!" I snap, inspecting the damage. Fuck, practically all my clothes are ruined that were in the top two drawers. "You just HAD to explode stuff I NEED, man!"

"Oh, stop whining. I haven't blown your brains out yet, have I? You're welcome, un."

"Go fuck yourself!" I turn to glare at him. "That wasn't that cool and art is still expression!"

He narrows his eye again. "You're really asking to get blown up, tough girl, un."

"Color me impressed!" I snap again, glaring at him. "I'm not gonna squeal with joy when you just blew up my drawers with your shitty-ass art!"

"That's it, un." Deidara stands up and grabs me by my arm, starting to drag me out of the room.

"What the fuck?" I shout, yanking my hand out of his grasp.

He grabs my arm again. "You're gonna appreciate true art whether you like it or not! Un!"

"Would you quit with your speech imdepident?"

He laughs, stopping pulling long enough to make fun of me. "It's 'impediment', dumbass, un."

"Whatever! You know what I mean! And LET GO!" I kick him away, finally forcing him to let go.

"Oh, come on! You'll love seeing art without the distraction of having your personal posessions be destroyed, un!"

"You really are out of your mind. Bat-shit insane. Coo koo for cocoa puffs, out of your mind." I cross my arms and plant my feet on the ground, glaring at him. "I'm not going anywhere, man!"

He grins at me dangerously. "Okay, fine. I'll make this simple: I'm going to blow something up in five minutes. Either you follow me and see art away from your house, or I'll blow up this entire place with you in it, un!"

"Like hell you will," I snort.

"You don't believe me?" he says, still grinning maniacaly. "Wait five minutes, tough girl."

"You're bluffing," I say dismissively.

"Try me, un!"

I glare at him and he grins back.

Now that I actually think about it…of course he's not bluffing. He'll totally do it.

"…Fine," I say, making him grin smugly.

"'Fine'?" He looks at me in disgust. "_Fine? _I'm offering you the chance to experience the most badass art in the WORLD, and you say, _'fine'_?"

"I'm only going so you won't blow up my house, dude." I tell him grumpily as I open the trapdoor-like-opening to my room and drop into the hallway.

Deidara drops right after me, neither of us bothering to use the ladder. "Oh that's it. Prepare to have your mind blown, girly. In an hour you'll be screaming 'art is a blast' right along with me, un!"

"I seriously doubt it," I say as we walk across the living room and open the door.

"Just wait and see, un," he tells me as we walk out. I look at him and see that same bat-shit insane look in his eye, and groan inwardly.

Something's going to get blown sky-high. And although I would never admit it to Deidara, I'm positive that it is going to be badass.

"Where are we going, dude?" I ask as we cut through a yard.

"Out of town. Leader ordered me not to blow up city property for recreation anymore, un."

Okay, I'll bite. "The junkyard isn't the first thing you're exploded lately, is it?"

"Figure that out all on your own, didja, un?"

"Asshole."

By now it's starting to get dark, but apparently that's a good thing; "Art burns brighter in darkness, un!"

"We're gonna get caught," I say noncommittally as we trudge through fields to get to a clearing.

"Nah, I'm Akatsuki. Akatsuki don't get caught." He looks at me casually. "Oh, if the cops come, you're on your own, un."

"Dick."

He raises an eyebrow at me. "You don't seem that worried, un."

"Like I haven't dealt with the police before," I respond as I stumble over a stray branch in the dim light.

"Well, they don't seem to like it when people explode things, so-"

"Yeah, I know. Do you really think I haven't caused anything to go up in flames before?"

He blinks at me. "Respect points for that, tough girl, un."

"All my dreams just came true," I reply sarcastically.

"So damn rude," Deidara gripes, looking a little annoyed. "And here I am being nice, not exploding you and letting you see some real art, un."

"We have vastly different ideas of 'nice', prick. And stop calling me 'tough girl'! It's not even clever!"

"Does it bother you, un?" he asks mischievously.

"Duh!"

"Then no, un."

"You-"

Suddenly Deidara stops, putting an arm out and stopping me. He turns to me slowly and I see the wild look in his eye return in all its pyromania-filled glory. "Are you ready for this, un?"

I can't help but get kind of excited. He looks ready to raise some hell, and I was born to do just that. "I was born ready, man."

"KATSU!"

…

Okay, I'll admit it: This is fucking amazing!

Not that I'm gonna say it out loud, but, damn!

You want a desription? Okay: Imagine the Fourth of July, right? You're out on a highway, sipping your root beer -maybe there's a little barbeque going on, so you smell some hot sauce too. On all sides you see rednecks with explosives and matches. You hear ear-splitting high-pitched cries of explosions in the air, then them cracking and exploding when they get there in to a million different colors, and basically it's just awesome.

_Well this is even cooler than that! _

"WHOA!" I shout as a particularly large firework makes the entire sky light up.

"Didn't I tell ya, un?" Deidara shouts in my ear, barely being able to make himself heard over the noise. "ART IS A BLAST!"

I spend the next four and a half minutes trying not to show how awesome I think the firework show is.

Finally Deidara stops exploding things long enough to turn to me and grin. "Who told you so, huh, un?"

I scowl. "Okay, so it wasn't stupid."

"_Wasn't stupid_?" Deidara says in outrage. "Your jaw was on the ground for the entire damn time!"

I look away, knowing he's totally right.

"Say it, un." Deidara tells me, smirking. "Say iiiit…"

I scowl at him and cross my arms. "Just for the record."

"Uh-huh, un."

"And we go back to hating each other immediately."

"Definetly, un," he answers, his grin growing wider.

I glare at him again. "You're never gonna let me forget this, are you?"

"Never, un," he agrees, looking as smug as humanly possible.

I sigh. I would keep being stubborn and refuse to say it, but he did tell me so. I have to admit I was wrong -for once. "Fine. That was totally WICKED!" I shout, grinning. "Like the fourth of July only better!"

"Damn straight, un!" Deidara replies happily. "My art kicks ass!"

"Rock is still better, though."

"WHAT! You little bitch, un!"

This is when we start to hear the sirens.

"That'd be the cops," Deidara says, sounding unconcerned. He looks at me half-heartedly. "I don't suppose you want any help getting back, un."

"No way in hell."

"Suit yourself, un," he says, grinning and then he _fucking pushes me down and runs off! _

"PRICK!"

"Every man for himself, tough girl, un!" he shouts before disappearing out of ear range, leaving me to haul ass away from the place, cursing creatively as I go.

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><p><strong>Don't worry, Mari doesn't get caught! ;P She really has blown stuff up before, with help from Joseph! I will definetly be including omakes about Mari, Joseph, and Suki (Hiaru's OC) back in elementary and middle school, but first I have to let you meet Joseph. And her debut will be...IN THE NEXT CHAPTER! WHOO! <strong>

**Ha ha ha, I totally siked you guys with the mushy chapter name! I bet you were surprised to read what I meant by "first kiss" XD Poor Mari! At least Deidara seemed a little ashamed of it...**

**Which reminds me: You don't think I'm making Deidara too nice, am I? I'm worried that I did...but since I haven't had Hidan kill Mari yet, which is EXTREMELY OOC but we wouldn't have a story if he did, I guess a little OOC-ness on Deidara's part won't be all that devestating.**

**Okay, in case anyone cares: there was this song I had for this chapter, but I wrote that part at like two AM and forgot about it. Looking at it later, it's too cheesy and stupid. Also I hadn't even heard it when I used it. I just wanted a song that talked about explosions so I googled "destroy boom explode lyrics" and this came up. I listened to it the other day, and the song is SHIT. So, sorry for the lameness.**

**Sorry for slight lateness AGAIN, thanks for reading, and please review!**

**-Amy out!**


	16. Somebody Broke Your Window

**Sorry about the screw-up in the last chapter! And speaking of which…**_**sigh. **_**Look, this is totally unfair to you guys -who have been AMAZING reviewers and I want to go and glomp the hell out of all of you!- but I'm upping the ante to 20 reviews before posting a new chapter. This next chapter, to give you guys a break and to make the numbers match up (NERD ALERT), will be updated as soon as we hit 150. I feel bad about doing this, but YOU GUYS REVIEW SO DAMN FAST! I posted chapter fifteen around noon, and it's not even tomorrow yet and you already almost hit the +15 mark! And yes, I love you for this, but it makes me rush through my writing (especially since after writing for three hours I like to goof off for awhile afterwards) and leads to typos and mistakes like the aforementioned forgetting an entire scene until after posting the chapter. Anyways, I never would've thought I'd write a fanfic where it was plausible for me to ask for 20 reviews between chapters -in fact, I'm still freakin' nervous about it!- but this should give me at least a week between updates, right? And besides, if a week goes by and the review quota hasn't been filled, I'll just update anyways! :D I'm not holding the story hostage, just asking for some quid-pro-quo. (And yes, I totally had to google that.)**

**BlackCatGirl: This means less typos and grammar screw-ups! YAY! And no, I'm not making fun of you. That stuff bothers too, but I get rushed and forget to go check.**

**Gin-sempai: I LOVE YOU! Okay, everyone, here's the link to Explode (courtesy of Gin-sempai, naturally!) **/marciomathersmusic/music/songs/explode-34901231

**Good boy-chan: JOSEPH'S DEBUT! You'll fucking love it! **

**Dapuddingz: All in good time, m'dear...all in good time...**

**Otonashi1262: Yeah, I hate those too. Despite Akatsuki Fangirl's rampant fantasies, Deidara is a dangerous, explosive asshole, and he shouldn't be written any other way.**

**1zara-uchiha1: I friggin love reading yours and Bro's reviews! They make me grin! Keep reviewing', sister!**

**Chillybean: Are you still going to draw that pic of Deidara? Because I was really looking forward to seeing it and sharing it with theze pepuls!**

**Okay, that was a fucking long A/N…and now it's longer! HA HA! **

**I don't Naruto, and Joseph is a combination of one OC with a friend of mine's and a friend of mine who is not an OC but an actual person. **

I wake up groggily in the middle of Saturday night -well, technically it's Sunday morning, I guess. Half-asleep and not fully in reality yet, I hear a hammering sound. And someone's talking. _Why is someone talking to me? _I wonder distantly. _They sound angry. Probably that monkey threw a coconut at them too…_"…Fuckhead monkey…where's my mallet…" I mutter, drifting back in to sleep-

When I hear the sound of glass being shattered.

I bolt upright in bed, onto my feet. "Huh what monkey?"

At first I don't know what woke me up so quickly, until I hear the sound of scuffling and faint profanity.

Holy fuck! Someone's breaking into my friggin house!

After three seconds of being frozen with horror, I dive under my bed. Not to hide, but to grab my chair leg with a nail through it that I found/made before we moved here in an alley.

Whoever broke into my house is gonna pay!

I slowly, quietly open the trapdoor, my heart beating in my throat. I let myself drop down into the carpeted hallway again, my bare feet hitting the ground relatively quietly.

First I check Kai's room, to find it empty other than a sleeping little brother. I check the closet and under the bed and the windows.

All normal.

I'm really freaked out now, as I turn around with my weapon held over my head ready to club anyone who jumps out at me. I know that the house-breaker-into is in front of me, because Kai's room is in the very back of the house.

I check Dad's old room -normal.

Main bathroom - Normal.

I'm starting to head into the living room when I hear -_humming? _

What the fuck?

Slowly I edge my way toward the source of the humming -the kitchen. It definitely gets louder, and I can tell it's a girl. She seems to be humming a Christmas carol. _What kind of criminal hums Christmas carols? _I hear the sound of the fridge being opened and glasses being set on counters.

Are they…getting something to eat?

I step quietly across the living room, backing up against the wall separating the kitchen and living room and facing toward the kitchen. I don't know if this person has a gun or not…I really should call 911, but they'd hear me talking and shoot up the place before I could say much. My best bet is to sneak up on them and clobber them from behind.

I step quickly and quietly into the kitchen, raising my weapon over my head, to see-

A chick a two inches shorter than me, straight, thick strawberry blonde hair, wearing a Perry the Platypus beanie, a skintight Batman tank top that she fills well to say the least, a red unzipped hoodie, tattered blue jeans (which she also fills well, but I fill mine better! Nyah ha!), and bright red and blue converses. She's looking at me like a deer in the headlights, a glass of milk on the counter and a peanut-butter-jelly sandwich halfway to her mouth.

My brown eyes meet her hazel and we stare at each other wide-eyed for a full five seconds.

Finally she gulps and lowers the sandwich. "Uh…hey Mari…I think somebody broke your window."

"JOSEPH!" I throw my unneeded weapon over my head and run at the girl, glomping her until she falls back onto the kitchen floor. "YOU CRAZY ASS BITCH I LOVE YOU!"

"Hey! Hey! Remember how I weigh forty pounds less than you, bitch? GET OFF!" Joseph shouts.

I laugh and roll off her long enough for her to catch her breath. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Getting choked to death, apparently," Joseph replies, sounding grumpy but grinning back at me. "Energetic as ever, huh?"

"No shit!" I scream at her. "My best friend appears in my house in the middle of the fucking night! Of course I'm excited, man!"

"Let's lower our voices, shall we?" Joseph asks, wincing. "I'm excited too, but I'm also fucking hungover. And it's not the middle of the night, dumbass, it's six o clock in the damn morning."

I take a deep breath. "Hungover? Six o clock? And did I really just hear _Joseph Hoshi Rokadu _(**A/N: See what I did there? Weasel character information into the story? NICE!) **ask for quietness? What's the world coming to?"

"L O Fucking L. Look, can I finish eating my sandwich already? And could you make some coffee?"

"Sure thing, man!" I chirp, jumping up to start making coffee. Joseph's here! FUCKING JOSEPH IS HERE! This is so damn ass cool, I can't even-

"…Whoa. Did I just witness Mari Aiki Sui do what she was asked without a fight?" Joseph asks, half teasing, half serious. **(A/N: Middle name! NICE!) **"What's the world coming to!"

I turn around to stick my tongue out at her. "It's just because I'm excited you're here, you grunge bitch!"

"You gothic whore."

"Dick noodle!"

"Ass fuck."

"Slimy vag licker!"

"Dick sucking non-Nirvana-lover!"

I gasp. "COTTON HEADED NINNY MUGGINS!"

Joseph winces. "Alright! Alright! You win, just be quiet!"

"Ha," I say, returning to my coffee-making.

"No fair screaming when I have a hangover."

"Oh yeah. Why do you have a hangover, dude?"

"Because I got fucking hammered, what do you think."

"You _know _what I mean!" I reply, turning to look at her, now sitting at the kitchen table and munching her sandwich. "Since when do you drink?"

"Since you left, you whore, and life got fucked up worse than before."

I let my busy hands drop to my sides, slowly turning around to face Joseph.

I take a closer look at her face. I'd been too busy glomping her/bickering with her/making coffee that I didn't take a close look. Now that I look closer, I can notice the way her trademark over-used eyeliner and bright red lipstick (which sounds weird, I know, but it looks great on her, I swear!) is smudged, the dirt on her face, the way her usually amazing hair is mussed up, the bags under her eyes, the black, blue, and yellow bruises on her face, and -worst of all- the somewhat haunted look in her eyes that replaces the old crazy-bitch one I'm used to. It says more about how the last month has been for her than all the rest put together.

"Joseph…" I start quietly.

She nods. "Yeah. But let's talk about that after coffee and aspirin, alright?"

"Alright, man," I reply, going to fill up the coffee pot with water and pouring it into the coffee machine. "So, since we're changing the subject -how the hell did you find me, when did you leave, how long are you staying, and why did you break my goddamn window, dude?"

"Well, last one's easiest: You weren't opening the doors, it's cold as fuck outside, and the window wasn't unlocked. Nuff said."

"Bitch. Hey, which one's broken anyways, dude?"

Joseph gives me an odd look. "You didn't notice?"

"I was kind of busy staking out the crazy asshole that broke into my house and started making themselves a sandwich."

Joseph chuckles. "Touche. It's the one in the living room. And I have enough money left over to pay for that, so just tough it out with a blanket over it for a few days."

I grunt as I rummage through our medicine to find some aspirin for Joseph. "Fine. But-"

"Yeah, yeah, twenty questions. Alright…I left about two weeks ago, and I'm staying until you throw me out. And maybe even longer."

"Um…so you're moving in?" I ask uncertainly.

"Hopefully. That or I go back to pick pocketing strangers to pay for motels."

I raise my eyebrows, surprised because me and Joseph never used to do troublemaking things that actually hurt others very often, but I don't doubt she's been stealing to survive. Stealth _is _her stronger mode. "You always have a home with me, Joseph-chan."

"Aw, Hallmark moment," she snorts.

"What're best friends and worst enemies for, doucher bitch?"

"Alright, alright. As for how I found you, well, I've been looking for you for a few days now, right? And yesterday morning I turned on the crappy-ass motel TV and what do you know, stuff's been exploding a lot in this town and the surrounding area. Sounded promising."

I snort with laughter. "I'll take that as a compliment, dude."

"You would."

This is when I plunk down the water and aspirin for her. She looks up and grins at me. "Real great service around here, huh? I could get used to this!"

"Fuck off, bitch dick. It's only because it's been a full MONTH and you're all hungover," I snap, still not being able to get actually mad at her. I mean, my best friend in the entire FUCKING WORLD breaks into my house out of nowhere, and now she's moving in with me? I haven't been so psyched since I dyed Deidara's hair pink!

"Well, thanks anyways, I guess." She pops the pills and chugs the water.

"You're somewhat welcome."

"Nn," she grunts before finishing the glass and plunking it down on the table, eyes closed and grinning. "Ah, that's good." She turns to me lazily and opens one eye. "No chance of hungover, long-lost best friend getting a refill, is there?"

I give her a skeptical look. "No chance."

"Fuck you." She gets up, stretches, and carries her glass to the sink to fill it up.

I lean back in my chair and throw my feet on the table, rubbing my eyes. I don't think I've gotten up this early in the morning since…Ever. Speaking of which…"Hey, Joseph."

"I've been talking to you for thirty minutes, bitch. What?"

"Shut up, whore. Of all the times to arrive here, why six o clock in the morning? And aren't you tired?"

"It took this long for the bus to get me here, and I slept on the way. Of course, I mostly stay up all night these days anyways, so…"

"Well, get your sleep tonight. You're going to school on Monday."

"What?" she says, giving me an insane look. "Why?"

"Because otherwise your life will be fucked forever!" I snap at her. "That or get a job, we need someone making income!"

She glares at me. "How am I supposed to do either of those things? I'm a fucking fugitive."

"You just -wait, WHAT?" I gasp.

"So surprised," she smirks as she plunks back into her chair. "We've always said we'd be criminals one day, Mari-chan."

"Yeah, but didn't we say I'd be one first!"

She winks at me as she gulps her drink, a little slower this time. "Life's like that, hon. But anyways, I don't think it'll stop me from getting a job somewhere, if we need money. By the way, _why?" _

I shrug. "Dad left almost right after we moved here."

"What in the hell-"

I raise my hand up. "First: what did you do to become a fugitive?"

Joseph rolls her eyes. "Packed my bags, stabbed my father, and headed for the hills."

She gulps her water, eyes closed, as I stare open-mouthed and wide-eyed at her. When she does look back at me she rolls her eyes again. "Oh, relax, he didn't die. He just won't be hitting anyone for a while, that's for sure."

"How do you know he didn't die?"

"He had a phone. The dumb fuck either called for an ambulance or didn't." She shrugs. "Well, I assume he did, because I heard sirens within the hour, but I was long gone by then."

"How did you-"

"Stole a car."

I just stare at her, speechless. She's not lying -I've known her for years, since we were little kids. If she was lying, I'd know. We were always troublemakers together, but I've always been the louder one, y'know? She'd be the one sneaking to steal whatever it is while I'd make a distraction, that kind of thing. So if either of us was gonna steal a car and run from the cops, you'd think it'd be me. But no. And Joseph's always been the cold, hard bitch type, but she's never been the stab-your-own-father type. What the fuck happened to make her this way?

"What…" I say, not even being able to voice my shock.

Joseph glares at her glass. "He went too far."

"Wha-"

"_He went too far."_

I look at her closer, seeing the look in her eyes. She looks like in her mind is going through a million different hells at once, and her eyes are glistening with tears that won't be shed. In the years I've known her, the only times I've seen her cry was two or three times after her mother died of leukemia when she was seven, and once after a particularly bad night with her father. See, her dad is, in all senses of the phrase, a good-for-nothing douche bag heartless asshole. My dad was a pass-out-in-the-living-room-floor drunk; hers was a get-mad-and-beat-your-daughter drunk. I've only met him once, but that was enough to hate him.

Now that I think about it, he deserved whatever he got.

The coffee pot beeps and I go get myself a cup. "Creamer's by the pot."

"That's cool."

By the time we sit back down, the atmosphere's not as serious anymore. But an understanding has passed between us; Joseph's father went too far. Details don't matter; what matters is, she needs a place to stay. And what are best friends for.

"So, how's Kai been?" Joseph asks, sipping her coffee. "That kid always manages to make me laugh, you know?"

"Yeah. He's been fine," I answer. "He keeps staying the night at this kid Konahamaru's house; they're both little punks."

"Like you and me back in the day, huh?"

I grin. "Exactly."

Joseph laughs. "Damn, those were the days! Remember fourth grade? The broccoli piñata?"

I snicker. "How could I forget! They were so pissed!"

Joseph laughs. "Yeah! And all that candy was deliciouuuusss…"

"Although SOMEBODY hogged all the Hershey's Kisses!"

"Five years later and you're still bitching about that? I told you, you got the Lemonheads!"

"I got one extra, because I beat you in rock-paper-scissors!"

"Yeah, and you fucking cheated!" she snaps. "You hesitated!"

"No I fucking did not!"

"Liar."

"Whore."

"Bitch."

"Dick fuck."

"Cock sucker."

"Asswad."

"Monkey fucker."

"Look, do you want me to buy a bag of Hershey's kisses and give you four?" she asks, exasperatedly.

"Don't bother, man."

"That's what I thought." She drains her coffee.

"Oh, by the way -did you come all the way here with just the clothes on your back?"

"Huh?" she looks at my blankly. Then her face lights up as she remembers: "Oh, shit! My stuff's still outside!"

She jumps up and heads for the front door as I laugh at her. "You're one hell of a fugitive, She-Teme."

"And you're one hell of a teenage chick, She-Dobe."

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean, man?" I ask, irritated, following her outside as she drags in two oversized, heavy-looking duffel bags.

"Couldn't you help a little?" she huffs.

"Nah."

"Bitch." She drags the bags into the room and throws them onto the ground. "Damn that shit's heavy…anyways, you know _exactly _what I mean," she turns to grin at me, in that certain way I know.

Oh shit, it's the Stalker Grin! The one she uses when stalking a guy or talking about sex! "No I don't," I lie, looking away uncomfortably.

"I _mean,_" she says, grinning wider and more diabolically, "that I'd be willing to bet my 44 that you still haven't kissed anyone yet."

I groan, hating this subject. "Do you always have to bring this up!"

"Yes, until you finally get yourself a damn boyfriend!" she says, putting her hands on her hip. "Damn Mari! You're almost fifteen and you've never told me about ONE crush! The only reason I know you're not asexual is from you stalking an anime character in the seventh grade!"

"Hey, Kyo's hot!"

"I agree, but that's not the point!" She throws her hands up. "You need to meet a guy, Mari! A hot guy! You need to get your first kiss already!"

"Excuse me while I go puke," I scoff.

"See what I mean!" she says exasperatedly, throwing her hands up in the air. "It's like you still think boys have cooties."

"Every guy I've met, I've hated."

"You haven't MET any guys!" she shouts at me. Oh, where's Miss Hungover McHeadache now? "How many blind dates have I set up for you, Mari? How many?"

"Too many to count," I say, rolling my eyes.

"And how many have you showed up for?"

"None."

"NONE!" she says, now being overly dramatic about this. "You're sabotaging your own life, Mari my dear!"

"Oh, shut up," I snap. "Even if I do find a guy, I don't want it to be at some dumb blind date."

Joseph looks at me skeptically, before grinning. "Ohhh, I get it. Mari-chan, underneath all that non-girliness, and acting like a guy, and not letting anything male near you, and just that general obnoxious personality-"

"Is there a point to this?" I snap, an angry tic mark floating over my head.

"-There beats the heart of a _true romantic!" _She finishes triumphantly, as I stare back skeptically.

"That's a stupid point. And don't talk about that shit around me, you get scary."

Joseph throws her hands into the air. "I give up. I give up! You're hopeless. Well, if you want to die a virgin-"

"HEY!"

"-not my problem."

By now I'm glaring at her, she's grinning at me, and…it's like I never left. We could've just been stuffing the preps' lockers with slugs last Friday.

I grin at her. "Good to have you back, whore."

"Good to be back, prude."

**YAYZ! Well, I spent like three hours straight writing this, but I'm very satisfied!**

**So what do you guys think? You love Joseph? She blow your mind or what? And, Rainy and good boy-chan, the description of Joseph was compromised a little both ways, plus I threw in the being-scarily-romantic-prone thing as a plot device! Don't worry, she just talks mushy like that to freak Mari out; she's more of a hottie stalker than a falling-in-love-constantly fluffy kind of romance girl. As for the aspects of her personality I haven't shown yet, they shall appear. Just wait.**

**And, to everyone else, yes, another chapter with no Akatsuki. I'm sorry. But I hope you like Joseph, and she's going to be part of the story later on, so it still works. Besides, now Mari won't be so lonely.**

**Anyways, I'm sorry for asking for more reviews, you guys! Thanks for reading, and I love you all!**

**-amy out**


	17. I'm Not A Fucking Damsel

**Here comes the plot…I broke the coffee pot…I know it's kinda sudden, but I'm the writer, shut up! (To the tune of 'Here Comes The Bride'.) Yeah, anyways, so this is indeed sudden, but truth is that real life doesn't always work exactly the way that would perfectly develop all the character's relationships for one another and make stuff be timed out perfectly. In other words: shit goes down in this chapter that probably could afford to wait behind a couple fillers. Sorry for the not-fantastic timing, but the story will flow much better from here on out, I SWEAR IT!**

**Anyways, if this makes up for the suddenness, this chapter will be LONG AS HELL! WOO HOO!**

**Don't own Naruto, movies, or song lyrics. Lyrics are from I Hate You by Greenday and I Hate You by Sick Puppies.**

* * *

><p>HELL YES! Food stamps renewal day! The world just got eleven times better!<p>

Yep, it's that time of the month, everyone! No, I'm not on my period -we just got free money!

I literally skip the first block to the grocery store. I'm not taking my bike, since I'm gonna steal a cart and push it home.

I can't wait to have some damn food in the house! Joseph eats like a crazy woman, it's driving me psycho!

Well, psycho-er. Yeah, Joseph's been staying over for almost a week now; it's Saturday afternoon. She got a job a few days ago at a convenience store. And no, I haven't told her about the Aka-assholes yet. I mean, really: _Hey, Joseph, guess what! There's a group of testosterone-filled hot guys in a gang who seem to both hate me and think I'm funny; particularly, a blonde girly-looking terrorist and a religious foulmouthed psychopath; the aforementioned blonde one having tied me up before, and both have stayed the night at my house. _Yeah, and I bet she'd take the news about the hand-mouth kiss SO well. Ew, that was nasty…Anyways I know she'll find out eventually, but until one of them insists on coming to my house or some shit like that, there's no reason for her to know. Not at all.

_But that's not my problem right now! _Right now I get to buy FOOD!

I'm buying PIZZA, and RAMEN NOODLES, and STRAWBERRIES, and-

My mental shopping list is interrupted by an enormous blow to the head. That was no fist, I can tell you that much; I've had a concussion before, so trust me when I say that this FUCKING HURTS!

I stumble in a daze before I can get a grip on what's going on again.

People are laughing. People are grabbing me and pushing me.

No! I start to fight back, but for every punch I give I get four more, and there must be several people because every time I turn around there's someone else there. They're all taller than me, too. I punch one in the face as I get kicked in the side by another and my hair pulled by someone else. I turn to attack the one pulling my hair when people start grabbing my arms and legs, forcing me, flailing, to the ground, where they sit or lean on my limbs so that I can't move.

It's so embarrassing, it burns inside to admit it, but that's what happened. Within fifteen seconds I was on the ground, held down by at least five different people. Laughing. Long hair.

"What the hell is up with you whores?" I screech. "Get the fuck off, you pussies!"

I'm forced to sit up, still struggling, arms held tight behind my back until I can't move without dislocating a shoulder or something.

Only one of them isn't holding me down, still standing in front of me and laughing. Now that I actually look at her I can see the baseball bat that hit me over the head, the knives hanging my her sides, and the excessive blue and white. _She's in a mother fucking gang. _

"She wasn't so hard to find," the bitch said. "Or to fight."

"Get the fuck-" That's as far as I got before she ran up and kicked me in the face.

"Shut up."

It hurt like hell, but it didn't stop there. My right arm screamed as they tore off my jacket and held their knives to my arms.

"Oh? So you're a cutter, huh? Well maybe you'll enjoy this then, whore." And they start to cut my arms.

My arms stinging, I keep struggling. "Mother fucking dickwad bitch whores!"

The standing one started kicking me. "Scream, bitch!"

"Scream!" they laughed.

"Beg for mercy, cock sucker!"

"You don't know me very well," I mutter, glaring her down.

She punched me in the face, making my head go flying backward until my neck felt sprained. "Well I'm about to. A person shows who they really are when they're screaming in pain."

I don't have time to cuss them out anymore, or even to wonder why the hell they're attacking me. Punch after kick after slice rains down on me, as I'm defenseless. I don't get mad because I'm too busy channeling all my strength not to show pain. Any pain. At all.

After a while I can tell she starts to get frustrated that I won't cry out. "You're stubborn, bitch, I'll give you that," she says. Then she barks at one of the girls holding me down. "Hold her leg still."

She bends down and grips my left foot, left hand on the inside of the hell and right hand on the toe. I don't consciously know what's coming, but my subconscious must have a pretty good idea, because I instinctively bite my lips to keep from crying out.

She pulls with her left and pushes with her right, hard, looking at me the whole time with a sadistic grin. I feel something snap, a split second before-

Agony.

My ankle feels like a knife's in it, wave after wave of red-hot pain hitting it. My head still throbs, my cuts still hurt, but my ankle practically wipes all that away. My face can't be showing anything but the most intense pain._ It hurts! Make it stop! _I cry out in my mind, but I bite my lips until they bleed, using all my energy to stay quiet -for the first time in my life. The same stubbornness that always gets me into so much trouble won't let me cry out. The same pride that I carry with me at all times won't let me open my mouth.

And I am grateful.

"Look at her face!" one cackles.

"Hurts, doesn't it?" she asks.

I shake my head no, not trusting myself to speak. Unfortunately a fresh wave of pain hits me then, registering on my face, so it wasn't all that convincing.

"I think you're lying," she said. "Have you had enough yet?"

My sense of self-preservation heartily agreed. My sense of pride refused to answer.

In this battle…when was self-preservation ever a candidate?

"F-fuck you," I say through gritted teeth.

"Wrong answer," she says, and stomps on my ankle.

"AH!" I gasp/scream, pain overcoming my self-control.

"I knew I could make you cry out," she said, sounding self-satisfied. "But I want to make you beg."

As most of my mind is consumed in death, all that is left is my instincts. Never in my life have I been so tempted to give in, to let myself break-

Then, unbidden, a series of images run through my head:

Rick Bobby, with his arm pulled behind his back, his friend telling him, "Don't you say it, Ricky, these colors don't run."

_I will not bow_

_I will not break_

_I will shut the world away_

Kai.

Joseph.

"Tough girl."

_Tough girl. _Am I really that, am I really a 'tough girl'? What am I really made of, when it matters? Can I do this? Am I finally, going to break…FUCK NO! Fuck these bitches, fuck my ankle, fuck the world! I'll stare her down until I'm dead, and maybe even longer! I'll haunt the fuck out of these whores!

As odd as it may sound, these thoughts gave me the strength not to dissolve.

"Beg," she says, "or I break your other ankle."

At the idea of more pain, despair fills me and I feel a burning in my eyes. No -NO!

"What's that?" she asks, laughing, a finger tracing the top of my nose. "Are you actually cr-"

Before she could finish the awful word, she was knocked aside by a steak of black and yellow. Immediately afterward, my arms were released, as well as my legs. I instinctively wipe the wetness from my face, although I doubt you'd notice it with all the blood, sweat and dirt also there.

"Didn't you see her clothes?" snaps a voice I don't want to identify. "She's under protection of the Akatsuki, un."

"I am n-" Before I can finish the sentence, a firm but gentle hand is placed over my mouth. (Thankfully this one doesn't have a fucking mouth on it.)

I turn my head furiously, trying to both shake off the hand and see who it belongs to. In doing so, I end up seeing the face of the girl who was taunting me pale visibly. "-I -we didn't know-"

"It's too late for that," a new voice from directly behind me cuts them off. "You just attacked a civilian under the protection of the Akatsuki, a minor, five to one, using weapons, tortured her, and caused her serious injuries. We will not stand for this. Congratulations, you girls just started a gang war."

They gasped, and without another word fled.

"What a bunch of pussies, un," said the first voice that I begin to recognize with a growing horror.

The hand was removed from my mouth just as Deidara moved into my range of vision, crouching next to me. The expression on his face could've been described as 25% concerned, 75% standard smirking Deidara.

"You." I say in a deadened voice.

"Me, un." Deidara agreed, grinning.

A hot rage filled me. "ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?" I screamed at the top of my lungs. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?"

Deidara's reaction would have been funny if I was in a funny kind of mood, He bolts backward like he was stabbed, holding his ears and giving my an incredulous look. Apparently he was expecting more along the lines of "My hero!"

"I'm saving you, un!"

The word makes me flinch visibly. "You did NOT _save _me!" I snap. "I would've been fine, man!"

"_What? _Are you living in the same reality, un? They had you pinned to the ground!"

The blow to my pride is like physical pain. "It was nothing I couldn't have handled!"

"They broke your fucking ankle, un!"

"Yeah! That happens! Ankles get broken!" I snap back. "That's life!"

"They were beating you into submission, un!"

"It. Would. Have. Been. Fine," I insist. I have never felt more shame in my entire life. To be found, to be _rescued _like some fucking fairy tale damsel-in-fucking-distress, from being beaten and held down and toyed with by a sadistic bitch and starting to _cry, _by the single most cocky and irritating prick in the world-

"Deidara, stop. We don't have time for this. She needs medical attention," says Itachi, who's still standing behind me with a hand on my shoulder.

-along with the single most superior-acting soulless prick in the world.

EXCUSE me if I don't sound goddamn fucking thankful!

Deidara ignores Itachi, continuing to glare at me. "What is the _matter _with you, un?"

"YOU are! Next time, I don't care if they're holding a knife to my throat, don't you DARE try and fight my fights!"

"They would've held a knife to your throat!" Deidara shouts, exasperated. "They could've killed you anytime they wanted, un!"

"SHUT UP!" I shout back.

"Deidara, can you not see that you're only making things worse?" Itachi asks tiredly.

"ME? _She's _the one-" Deidara glares at me for a moment. He takes a breath. "You know what? If you want to be a crazy bitch, go ahead, un."

"Don't TELL me what to do!"

"Deidara, stop sulking that she didn't jump gratefully into your arms. And Mari, you really are being unreasonable. We need to fix your ankle."

"FUCK being reasonable!" I practically scream as Deidara's still silenced by Itachi's comment -which I'd worry about later. "And I don't need your help!"

"And just how are you going to get home, un?" Deidara asks, raising an eyebrow.

"I'll walk."

"How're you gonna do that? Your ankle's broken, un."

"I'll fucking CRAWL!" I snarl.

"Your house is nine blocks away, un."

"Don't care."

"There's no way you can make it, un."

"I can do whatever I WANT, you prick!"

"Except keep from getting beat to a pulp on a daily basis, right, un?"

The words are like a knife in my gut, effectively shutting me up. Deidara presses his advantage: "First, we're gonna fix your ankle, and then, we're gonna take you to your house. You have no say in the matter, un."

"You're not fixing my anything or taking me anywhere!"

"And how are you gonna stop me, un?"

I blink. "Stop _you?" _

"I meant 'us'."

"You said 'me'."

"…We're fixing your ankle, un."NO you're NOT!"

"Mari," Itachi cuts in, "please, try to calm down. You ankle needs to be set correctly, or it will get worse. You need to get home without walking, or it will still get worse. I know how to treat your injury. Right now, it doesn't matter how we feel about each other, we should just do what needs to be done."

Wow. That is the absolute most words I have ever heard him use, ever. I didn't even know he was capable of speaking that much. His tone of voice is so different from the ones me and Deidara were using in our shouting match that it catches me off guard and, strangely, holds my attention. I look at him suspiciously, still unwilling to accept help.

"Consider it a formality. Don't worry, there's no kindness involved."

This clicks in me and makes it seem okay. If he's not doing this out of kindness, there's no pity involved, no we-must-save-her bullshit. I'll forgo kindness to avoid pity, and besides, I don't want their shitty kindness anyways. "Fine."

Deidara sputters indignantly. "What the fuck! When he asks, you just agree!"

"He said it differently," I say, glaring at him.

"He did not, un!" Deidara snaps, looking pissed. "That's the same thing I said!"

"Liar." Itachi kneels by my injured ankle, gingerly removing my shoe and sock. I bite my tongue to keep from groaning. "It's not too serious, but I'll have to set it. This will hurt."

I nod. "Bring it on."

"Do you want something to hold on to?" Itachi asks me, annoyingly calm and monotonous.

I scowl, his concern irritating me. I'm not a baby. "Just set the damn ankle already, dude."

He meets my eyes for a fraction of a second before giving my foot a sharp jerk, setting it into place.

I gasp, totally unprepared for that. It hurts almost as much as when the bitch kicked it. I bite my lips again, tasting blood, and squeeze my eyes shut against the pain.

"I need something to use for a splint," Itachi says to Deidara, ignoring my discomfort -Thank God. "If you're not too busy acting jealous, you could help me find something."

"I'm not jealous, you bastard, un!"

"Help me find something to make a splint, then."

They eventually make a splint using a couple of long knives and a shirt.

Whose shirt you ask?

Deidara's.

Uh-huh.

I go to extreme lengths to avoid looking at Deidara in any way, or even thinking about him. If I think about him there's a chance he'll be ripped and hot, and I'll look at him and think that he's hot. I am in no mood to be thinking such things about such people.

At least it wasn't Itachi. I don't think I could recover from that with any amount of therapy.

"This should hold until we can get a real cast on it. I assume you don't want to go to the hospital?"

I shake my head furiously. I want this as little-known as possible, even to people I don't know.

"Well then, after we drop you off at your house I'll go buy some casting material." He stands up and offers me a hand.

Before I even have time to smack it away and call him Weasel Dick, Deidara muscles in front of him and grabs my arm, pulling me up to my feet without permission.

I look at him questioningly, to see him glaring at Itachi and see Itachi giving him an amused look. "I take it you'll be wanting to carry Mari home, then?"

Carry -oh, HELL no! "I'm walking."

To my eternal irritation, they ignore me. "Fuck off, Uchiha."

"I see." If people like Itachi enjoyed themselves, I'd say he was enjoying this. "I'll be at Mari's in an hour with the cast."

And he just walks off, lah-tee-dah!

"HEY! I don't wanna -OHH!" I say as he doesn't even look back, just walks out of earshot.

"Fucking Uchiha," Deidara growls, glaring in Itachi's direction.

"I'll be walking home," I tell Deidara, wanting to make it clear that I have no intention of being carried.

"Like hell you will." He grabs my shoulder with his right hand, gripping my arm as his left arm sweeps underneath my knees, picking me up bridal-style with a small grunt.

"Put. Me. Down." I growl as he starts to walk.

"Come on, what's so bad about this?" he smirks down at me.

I hate my life.

"Being carried by a shirtless dude makes me terribly uncomfortable," I mutter, looking everywhere but at his face.

When I finally gather the courage to look back up at him…I wish I hadn't.

"Hoo-hoo! Damn, for a tough girl you sure are very innocent," he laughs, back to his old irritating ways.

"Shut the hell up, faggot! Does it not embarrass you to be walking around half-naked in public?"

"Not really. I'm too distracted by how funny you are when you're embarrassed, un."

"Go to hell."

"I thought pissed-off Mari was funny, but hell, I should go shirtless around you more often, un."

I cringe, my face feeling hot. "Don't you fucking dare!"

'Holy hell, are you actually _blushing?_ This is priceless!"

Okay, now he's really pissing me off. I hate this entire situation. What a great time for a song to go through my head:

_Cuz now I wouldn't lie or tell you all the things you want to hear_

_Cuz I hate you, cuz I hate you, cuz I hate you, cuz I hate you _

_Dickhead, fuckface_

_Cock-sucking, mother-fucking_

_Asshole, dirty twat_

_Waste of semen, I hope you die!_

I wish I could say I have a really great comeback, but I'm too flustered to say anything but: "Put me down. Now!"

"Aw, come on," he teases me, his smirk going miles beyond smug. It feels more violating than his hand on my shoulder and knee. "You know you like it, un."

"Piggyback. Now." I am _not _going to stay here, looking up at that FUCKING smirk that will always bother me.

"Or what, un?"

"I'll wiggle around and shit until you drop me."

He grins and wraps his arms tighter around me. "Try it, un," he dares.

I wiggle and squirm and flail about, punching Deidara in the face as I do so. After a couple good hits, Deidara rests my back on his shoulder long enough to force my forearms across my chest -me resisting and cussing at him the entire time, so it takes longer than usual- so he can hold my arms down. I press upwards as hard as I can and throw off his arms, but he just repositions my arms in the same compromising position. I squirm and struggle with all my might for a while, getting more and more pissed the harder it gets, fighting and resisting -until I glance up at his face.

I'll spare you the gory details, but suffice to say that he's enjoying me not being able to escape. He's enjoying it very much.

Desperate times call for desperate measures. "HELP! RAPIST! PERVERT! PUT ME DOWN, YOU SON OF A BITCH! RAPE!"

"Allright, _allright," _Deidara snaps, finally letting me down. "Just shut the hell up already."

"THANK you, you asshole," I mutter, somewhat self-satisfactorily as I climb onto his back.

He stands up and keeps walking. "So you could call for help from an imaginary rapist, but you couldn't call for help earlier, huh?"

"Damn straight," I say. See, there's one thing to be proud of. I didn't scream. Wait, yes I did, when she stepped on my ankle. Damn.

Deidara chuckles, looking over his shoulder at me. "You are a piece of work, you know that, un?"

_Shitty piece of work, if I can be beaten that easily, _I think, but say this instead: "You know, funnily enough, I do know that, since I've been told that pretty much my entire life."

"Touché." He rounds another corner onto my block.

"Wait," I say. "Take the alley.""What? Why?"

"So the neighbors won't see you.""Fuck the neighbors, un," Deidara says dismissively, going straight into the middle of the street.

"They'll think you're fucking my brains out," I complain.

"And why would that be so bad, un?" he asks smirkily.

"Because you're a girly-looking prick and I fucking hate you!"

_I hate you when you're gone_

_I hate you turn me on_

_I hate the way I need you when I don't know where you are_

I hate my _brain _sometimes.

"Yeah, because I give SO many shits what some old lady thinks," Deidara scoffs. "I'm not carrying you all the way around the back. You're heavier than you look, tough girl."

I grin. "It's all muscle."

"Sure it is, un."\

Joseph's not home, which simplifies the matter of explaining to her why my ankle's broken and, more importantly, why I'm being given a piggyback by a shirtless dude. Unfortunately, my little brother IS here. "MARI! MARI! MARI!" Kai shouts as he comes running into the room. "I got to level seven on Nazi Zombies and-"

He stops short and stares at the two of us, Deidara sweat-dropping. "Who the hell's he?"

Deidara starts to walk toward my room, but Kai just follows us.

"Kai! Don't curse!" I scold. "I told you, not until you're twelve and then only damn and hell!"

"But I won't be twelve for two years," Kai complains.

"Well, until then, it's 'heck'!"

"But you're been cursing since you were ten!"

"Yeah, and look how I turned out!"

Kai sighs. "That's a good point."

I have to laugh. "Okay, that was actually funny, man."

"But really -who's that guy?" Kai asks, pointing.

"Pointing's rude, so don't do it if you're trying to suck up to someone," I tell him. "Not that you should, but-"

"Who is he?" he asks as Deidara pulls open my trapdoor.

"He's Deidara."

"Is he your boyfriend?"

"NO!"

Kai grins. "Mari and That Guy, sitting in a tree…"

"My name's Deidara, and you're really starting to irritate me, kid," Deidara says as we climb up into my attic room.

"Oh shut up, like you don't irritate everyone else constantly," I snap. "And Kai, you can have one screw-up excuse if you leave _right now."_

Kai's face lights up. "Four."

"One."

"Three."

"One."

"Two."

"You get one."

"One, and I can watch an R-rated movie?"

I sigh. "If I say yes, will you leave sooner?"

Kai grins. "Sure!"

He jumps out of the room as I call after him, "And no horror movies, man!"

"That wasn't part of the agreement!"

Deidara laughs. "Spirited kid, un."

I sit down on my bed. "Look who he's got for a sister."

He sits on the floor, laying his head back on the bed. "Hey, how come he listens to you, un?"

"Huh? Well, he'll be French toast if he doesn't," I say, ignoring the shame that hits me like a tidal wave -how can I act so tough if I can't even…mutter mutter…

"No, I mean like the whole 'don't curse' thing," Deidara says, rolling his head over to look at me. "It's like you're his mom, un."

I roll my shoulders. "Well, I kinda am."

Deidara's look of disgust makes me rephrase that. "Not like that! Ew! I mean, I've been taking care of him since…ever."

"Since 'ever', un?"

"Shut up, I'll speak how I want. Look, my parents aren't around much."

"I noticed. They're never here when I show up, un."

"Have I mentioned that you aren't _supposed _to be at my house?"

"Hmm, let me think. Yes, actually, you have. I just don't care, un," he grins.

"Prick," I say, suddenly noticing that I have to pee. I stand up -only to sit back down as my ankle throbs.

"What, un?"

"I gotta go to the bathroom," I say , standing up and leaning on my right leg. It works for about as long as it takes to try to take a step.

"Here," he says as he helps me back up. "Lean on me, un."

I throw his hand off me. "NO! I can…do it…" My voice trails off as it becomes extremely obvious that I _can't _do it.

"No, you can't. Just shut up and let me help you, un."

With every step my sense of shame deepens. Look at me. I can't even walk by myself to the bathroom.

By the time I hobble back to the bed, I'm drowning in a sea of self-disgust. Who cares if I didn't cry out? I was being held down. I was being taunted and I couldn't do shit about it. I fucking _cried. _And now I need help just…to…go…to…the…BATHROOM!

"Do you wanna play Mortal Kombat, un?" Deidara asks.

I shake my head. I don't want to beat the crap out of imaginary opponents when I just got pummeled in real life. I just wasn't to wallow in shame, with maybe a side order of humiliation. And despair for bath beads.

Deidara's quiet for a full five seconds, which I have never seen him do before, ever.

"Hey, thanks for…not being as big of a prick as usual," I mutter. "You can go now, Imam take a nap."

"You're not getting rid of me that easy, un," he tells me, and he jumps onto the bed.

…Huh?

He leans back and looks at me smirkily.

"I was about to lay there."

"There's room, un."

I debate between how tired I am and how much I hate Deidara. Usually it wouldn't even be a contest, I'd throw a fit until he moved or just laid on the ground, but right now, I just don't have the energy. I lay on the edge of the bed, my back to him, toe to foot.

I hear him sigh and move around, scooting over to me. I tense up, but I'm gripped by a profound sense of apathy. So I just curl my shoulders forward.

"That's it? No screaming? No 'fuck off, Deidara'?" he questions. I can hear the smirk in his voice, but I'm past caring.

"Don't push it," I mutter, pushing my face into the pillow.

We both know damn well he will push it.

He slides an arm slowly over my back, onto my arm, gripping my shoulder.

"MMH," I grunt in protest.

"Okay, what is the _matter _with you?" Deidara asks, making me roll over to face him.

I scowl. "What the hell do you mean?"

"I mean you haven't tried to injure me or told me to fuck off ONCE it the past half hour!" he exclaims, looking seriously alarmed. "Who are you and what have you done with Mari, un?"

I glare at him. "Shut the fuck up!"

"No!" Deidara sits up and crosses his arms. "You usually give me the finger for saying you look good, and now you're all…not obnoxious, and I've been trying to get a rise out of you for twenty minutes! It's freaky, un!"

I flip him off. "Okay, hoe's this: Fuck off, Deidara, and get the fuck out of my house! Happy now?"

"No!"

We stare each other down for a minute. Finally Deidara faceless and sighs. "This is about the fight, isn't it?"

"No shit."

"_What _are you freaking out about?" he asks, as if he doesn't know.

"You know damn well what I'm freaking out about!" I snap. "I was…they…"

"You were beaten 5 to 1, un."

"But I should've been able to get away!"

"They had fucking baseball bats, un!"

"But…I _cried," _I spit out, it burning my insides to admit it.

"You weren't crying when we got there, un."

"Well, it was just one tear-"

"Shut the fuck up and get over yourself," Deidara snaps, cutting me off. "I thought you were such a harass, but now you're here sulking about losing a fight? You're pathetic! Suck it up."

"Why don't YOU go suck-"

"I don't wanna hear it," he snaps. "We both know you're tough but you aren't invulnerable. Did you really think you could win a five-on-one fight with a couple _twenty-year-olds?"_

Okay, what the hell? He's insulting me, but it's making me feel better. I just got my ass beat and he's acting like I shouldn't be ashamed of it. What the hell is he smoking? "I almost begged them to leave, man!"

"Yeah -_almost," _Deidara snarls. "You'd have to be a freak like Hidan not to want to make it stop in that situation. But you're _not _a freak, and you _didn't _beg, but instead of being proud of yourself and making up a plan to get the dumb fucks back, you're just gonna lay down and die? What the hell, un!"

His words are like a slap in the face -but, the kind I gave myself after looking at Itachi and practically having a lady boner (God, did I really do that? Ew…) It stings just enough to make me get a grip. I grin at Deidara. "You're such a prick, you asshole."

"Are you gonna stop acting like a pussy now?" he asks, still looking pissed at me.

"What are you talking about?" I grin even wider. "I was just tired earlier."

"Bullshit," Deidara smirks. "You were totally sulking, un."

"Like you don't ever sulk when you lose a fight."

"_I _don't lose fights, un."

"What the fuck ever, douche. Let's go play Mortal Kombat," I say, starting to get up.

Deidara, like the prick he is, puts a hand on my shoulder so I can't move. "Oh, no. You creep me out that much for that long, and you have to deal with me for another five minutes, un."

"I don't have to do jackshit," I snap, elbowing him.

"Chicken, un."

I stop and turn slowly to look at his smirky face. "_What?" _

"You're too scared of me, un," he grins triumphantly.

My jaw drops and hits the, well, the pillow in outrage. "Why the hell would I be scared of you! You won't do anything!"

"I might," he grins devilishly.

Something weird happens. I feel the impact again, but this time it's more of a jolt, like someone plucked some sort of string inside me. It feels weird and good and confuses the shit out of me. "Well, now there's _no _way I'll agree to this, man."

"You don't sound so sure, un."

"Asshole!"

"Gotcha, un."

His leer is a violation in itself.

I glare at him. "Are you gonna tease me about this later?"

"Definitely, un."

"ASShole," I mutter, but we both know he won. For some reason, defeat doesn't burn like it usually does. It's just for a minute, after all. It's not any different from sharing a bed with Joseph.

I mean, not really. "This is a one-time thing, you know. If my ankle wasn't broken, I'd annihilate you."

"Well, in that case…if it _is _a 'one-time thing'…" His slowly growing diabolical grin promises…nothing good, I can tell you that much. "I'd better make the most of it, un."

For a second, I don't know what he means, but then he starts to lean closer-

HO.

LY,

SHITBALLS.

Why can't I move? I'm locked in place. I don't want to -can I buy a vowel here?

"Ahem."

I look to see, to my horror, that Itachi is leaning sideways near the trapdoor, giving us a particularly soulless look. I recoil, thinking of how this must look. Suddenly I remember all the reasons I hate Deidara, and it doesn't seem natural -if somewhat prick-ish- for him to be this close to me, it seems demeaning and nauseating and _mortifying. _"Get off me, you fucking pervert!" I snap.

Deidara's glare at Itachi could've made hardened soldiers piss themselves. "Thanks for showing up, Uchiha, un."

"Deidara, it wouldn't have mattered anyways. It would be like kissing a drunk person."

"Excuse me! I'm right here, so I can her EVERYTHING you're saying!" I remind them.

Itachi smiles slightly at me. I would've been less surprised to see him turn into a cantaloupe. "Apologies. I've bought sating and splint material."

"How long were you standing there?" I hiss. I can't believe Itachi saw me almost kiss Deidara! WHAT THE FUCK! That sentence should never have come with ten miles of my brain, much less in reality! The dude doesn't even like me, he just flirts to bother me! AND WHY IS HE STILL THERE!

"How long indeed." He walks regally across the room toward the bed. "Would you like to sit up now?"

"Stop being nice to her, un!" Deidara snaps.

"Fuck off, Deidara!" I snap, hating him more now than ever before. "And get the fuck away from me, you perverted terrorist fucknuts!"

"Shut up, whore, you were fine with it until that bastard walked in, un!"

"I was not!" I sputter, getting more and more angry by the second.

Deidara looks disgusted. "You know what? I don't care, un."

I glare at him. "Good."

"Fine."

"Fine."

"Fine."

"Fine."

"Fine." He gets off the bed, glaring at me one last time, before switching his glare back to Itachi. "Take it away, asshole, un."

And he jumps down through the trapdoor. "I'M EATING YOUR CHIPS, UN!"

"DON'T STEAL MY FOOD!" I screech.

"TOO LATE, UN!"

"YOU-"

"_Mari," _Itachi interrupts me. Normally I'd ignore him, since he's not even talking loudly, but something about his voice demands my attention. "I will _buy _you more chips. Please, settle down."

I rub my forehead above my eyes with my fingers. "He's a prick," I mutter.

"I'm sure he is. May I see your foot?"

I glare at him. "I never said I wanted your help, Weasel Dick."

"May I see your foot?" he repeats emotionlessly.

I narrow my eyes, staring him down. "No."

"This is your last warning."

I snort, continuing our staring contest. "What are you gonna do? Emo at me?"

Suddenly I see his eyes flash red, followed by a split second of a splitting headache.

Darkness.

* * *

><p><strong>First off, I'll explain Deidara's over-niceness soon, I'll be writing by his point of view. And yes, I hate the gang-bitches too. Don't worry, they'll get what's coming to them. :D Anyways, I'm super-excited to finally post this, since I wrote this weeks ago and had to wait to actually post it! Poor Mari, she got "saved" by people she hates and sharinganed all in one day! Aww...<strong>

**Anyways, quid pro quo, I love you guys, and thanks for reading!**

**-amy out!**


	18. Wounds and Dibs

**AMAZING NEWS! Chillybean finished her photo of Pink-Haired DeiDei! :D Check it out:**

.com/?qh=§ion=&q=Chillybean1998#/d4oh1mg

**Girl, I love you forever! Anyways, as for those of you who are looking forward to the Deidara POV, sorry, I didn't mean I'd be writing a chapter from his POV immediately; it could be in the next chapter after this one, or a couple chapters from now. Sorry to be misleading, guys. **

**I'm sick of disclaimers. You know what I do and don't own. From now on I'll just disclaim the song lyrics. **

**Joseph: YOU ARE IN THIS CHAPTER! I'll be writing more and more with Joseph, and I'm planning on even doing a chapter from her POV. Eventually.**

**This chapter is mainly from Itachi's POV, again, despite the pain in the ass it is to try and talk like he does, all serious and big words and whatnot. :3 His POV is third-person and past tense, because it just seems to fit him better. Deidara's will be first-person and present tense, like Mari's. **

* * *

><p>Itachi inhaled and exhaled deeply as Mari fell back onto her bed, unconscious.<p>

If the girl was any more bullheaded and annoying, she'd be Deidara.

_Not that she's far from that already, _Itachi thought absently as he began to administer the bandaging to Mari's injured ankle. It was an added bonus of her being unconscious that he wouldn't have to deal with her complaining about the bandaging hurting. Although, now that he thought about it, he doubted she would. Mari was very prideful and didn't seem to like to admit pain or weakness. In that respect, she was very much like Deidara. She probably wouldn't like the comparison much if she heard it, though. She apparently hated Deidara although she was obviously attracted to him. They probably would have kissed if he hadn't walked in on them. Itachi thought about all of this from a distance; he honestly couldn't care less.

But Itachi did have to admit that he was somewhat impressed she not only didn't beg or scream, but was also able to argue vehemently and wanted to walk home on her own with a newly broken ankle. She must have a high pain threshold, and be very independent.

That, or she was just stupid, stubborn and uncooperative.

Itachi's money was on the second.

Luckily the break wasn't extreme; it should heal relatively quickly. Three weeks at the most.

Itachi wondered vaguely if he should try to heal her other injuries, but decided against it almost immediately. They weren't his concern. Besides, even if his aim was to help Mari, he would be doing her no favors by trying to 'take care of her' further. She'd made that much perfectly clear.

Still, he decided to check, mostly to gather information on how bad the beating had been.

See, Itachi had an idea. You wouldn't call if a 'good idea', per se, but it was the best one under the circumstances.

Mari was obviously a dangerous girl. Not to the Akatsuki, but to herself and to the general state of peace the Akatsuki strove to maintain. Mari didn't try to start conflict, he was sure of that, but she was one to do anything and everything necessary if she felt her pride was at stake.

Another way she was similar to Deidara.

When one single person continued to cause trouble and disquiet, the obvious response would be to kill them. But Itachi didn't think that would help matters much; she'd already inadvertently started a gang war.

And Mari was more of a danger to herself than anyone else, anyways. Of course that problem could have been fixed had she be willing to accept the Akatsuki's protection, but of course she wouldn't stand for that. She'd consider it belittling to her. And she wouldn't consent just to keep her mouth shut and head down for a week or two; after all, "laying lay isn't her thing".

Which left only one option. Not an ideal one, but it was the most logical route to keep Mari from starting more random fights, and to keep her from getting shot by Oto.

Setting these thoughts aside, Itachi started to inspect Mari's injuries. He turned her head side to side gently, noting scrapes and bruises. There was also one long horizontal cut under her right eye. The blood tracks indicated that it wasn't too deep. Itachi also noticed that her mouth had small amounts of blood on it. When he looked closer he saw that she'd bitten her lips until they bled, probably to keep from crying out.

Interesting.

Her arms also had slight to moderate cuts in them, most still bleeding somewhat. They hadn't meant to bleed her to death, just to cause her pain. In any case, she wouldn't need stitches.

What was more worrying were the scars she'd obviously made herself.

Her left forearm had several whitened scars, along with three more recently-made ones. He could tell by the various amounts of healing that they'd been made mostly in a window of from four and a half years ago to one year ago, and then the three more recent ones made mere weeks ago. None of them could've been given to her by the Oto who'd jumped her, because those were mainly on her outer arms since it would've taken some awkward positioning to reach that part of her arm with her hands held behind her back. And the scars in question were far too uniform to be anything but intentional.

So. The girl cut. Apparently she'd been trying to quit, since most were more than a year old, but had recently had a relapse.

Itachi checked her hands, which were by now healed enough that she was no longer wearing bandaging on them. He confirmed that they were indeed caused by the kind of stress only inflicted by punching something repeatedly. Itachi could tell she was moderately good at punching, or she wouldn't have been capable of causing such sores. This was also another sign of a high tolerance for pain.

So, high pain tolerance, reasonable punching skills, some emotional instability, and resilience; all things he could gather by her various injuries.

_Ironic, _Itachi thought vaguely, _how the most telling wounds are the ones she inflicted herself. _

Itachi decided nothing else could be gathered and stood up, looking down apathetically at the still-unconscious girl. Mari was now drooling on her pillow and muttering about a monkey.

Well, she was certainly a dangerous idiot. He didn't need any additional evidence to know that.

Despite himself Itachi sort of hoped she'd be okay. It wasn't every day you met a girl who would dye Deidara's hair pink.

Itachi dug out her hoodie and iPod, which had been left at the scene of the attack, from his shopping bag and set them on the desk. He'd gone back after the two had left, knowing they'd forget something. Itachi figured since he'd never seen Mari go anywhere without her iPod, she'd be happy not to have lost it.

After a second of consideration, Itachi took a pillow and gently lifted Mari's head, setting a pillow underneath it.

Deciding his job was done, Itachi stood up and turned to leave-

"Damn, Uchiha, why the fuck'd you knock her out, un?" Deidara asked obnoxiously, while eating a bag of barbeque potato chips.

Itachi looked back at the blonde blankly. "She wouldn't sit still willingly."

"So you _Sharinganged _her, un?" Deidara asked, sounding like he thought it was funny.

"'Sharingan' is not a verb."

"Fuck off, asshole, un."

Itachi decided to ignore him. "Our job's done, Deidara. Let's go."

"You crazy? I'm not leaving, un!" Deidara replied mischievously.

Itachi narrowed his eyes slightly. "We have no reason to remain here now that Mari's ankle is taken care of."

"Maybe _you _don't, but _I _do, un." Deidara glared at Itachi slightly again. "In case you didn't notice, I was working on something before you walked in, un."

_Working _on something…? He didn't want to know. "She'll only be angry when she wakes up to find you here."

"Why do you think I'm doing it, un?"

Itachi resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "The last thing she needs is to be harassed right now."

"And the last thing I need is you bitching at me!" Deidara snapped, walking arrogantly past Itachi toward Mari's desk. "Mind your own business, Uchiha, un."

It didn't really matter anyways. "Suit yourself."

Itachi started to walk away.

"Hey, asshole! How long until she wakes up, anyways, un?"

Itachi didn't answer. He'd find out soon enough.

Itachi had lowered the ladder when he heard the sound of the front door being opened.

"I'M HOME, BITCH! Where the hell are you? Did you get the groceries yet? MARI!" yelled an unfamiliar female voice.

Itachi and Deidara glanced at each other briefly, then back at the trapdoor.

Before they could react, the girl started climbing the ladder. "Hey! I'm talking to you-"

The girl's orange-haired head popped up over the top of the ladder and she stopped yelling immediately, staring open-mouthed at the two men in her friend's bedroom.

Itachi cleared his throat. "Hello."

The girl blinked, and slowly a devious smile spread across her face. "Hey-ey-ey. Mari finally getting some action or what?"

Deidara started laughing out loud.

Itachi chose to ignore that particular question. "Mari was jumped," he explained calmly. "Deidara and I carried her home."

"AW, that's so swe- HEY, wait, what? Mari got jumped?" she asked frantically, jumping up into the room angrily. "How bad was it?"

"They broke her ankle, un," Deidara explained.

The girl gasped, anger written all over her face. "Oh fuck that! Those fuckheads are gonna die!"

"They'll get what's coming to them," Itachi agreed solemnly.

"They'd better." The girl, apparently Mari's friend, walked around Itachi and took a closer look at Mari. "Hey, why's Mari asleep?"

Deidara snickered. "She kept resisting, un."

"Wait -WHAT! Resisting WHAT?"

"Resisting _treatment,_" Itachi clarified, glaring at Deidara for intentionally making it sound suggestive. "She wouldn't sit still for me to fix her ankle."

"Oh," the girl laughed. "Sounds like Mari. Hey, wake up, bitch!" she said, slapping her friend in the face.

Deidara laughed. "Well, that's one way to do it, un."

They watched as Mari started to stir. "Wha…"

"Hey! Hot guys are here!" Mari's friend told her excitedly, leaning close to Mari's face with a crazy grin, causing Mari to lean back slightly. "They carried you back and everything! I _knew _you'd find a boyfriend soon-"

"WHAT!" Mari shouted, snapping fully awake at the word 'boyfriend".

"I know! Saving you from getting jumped, that's so sweet-"

"That is the OPPOSITE of sweet!" Mari snapped. "I could've handled it on my own, man!"

Deidara rolled his eyes.

"Which one you got dibs on?" her friend asked, ignoring Mari's outrage.

Mari went from angry to confused in a split second. "What the fuck, Joseph?"

"Which one's yours and which one's mine?" her friend, apparently Joseph, asked -seemingly not bothered by both of the boys being in the room.

Itachi remained impassive, observing that Mari flushed slightly and Deidara grinned evilly at her. "Yeah, tough girl, which one, un?"

"FUCK OFF, DEIDARA! And they're both assholes, Joseph!" Mari snapped, glaring at Deidara and Joseph in turn -mainly Deidara.

"Oh, bad boys, huh? My favorite," Joseph replied, looking toward the two Akatsuki members with a psychotic grin. "You sure you don't want dibs on either?"

"Positive," Mari replied, rolling her eyes.

"Because it looks like Blondie has an eye on you."

Mari's face went from dismissive to full-scale battle mode immediately. "Shut the fuck up! He fucking does not, bitch!"

"Speak for yourself, un."

"See?" Joseph asked Mari triumphantly.

"He just does that to bother me!" Mari said venomously, glaring at Deidara, who just grinned back.

"That true?" Joseph asked Deidara skeptically."

Deidara grinned wider. "Partially, un."

"Told ya!" Joseph teased Mari as the hotheaded girl flipped Deidara off.

"Both of you need to go die!" Mari snapped, getting more and more flustered by the second.

Itachi had a rare moment of inclination to intervene. "Don't let them get you so angry, Mari."

He should've saved his breath. "You too, Weasel Dick! What'd you _do _earlier, man?"

"Knocked you out," Itachi answered, wondering how it was possible for Mari to be so loud immediately after having woken up.

"WHY?"

"To get you to be still."

"You can't just DO that, man!" Mari sputtered angrily.

"Whyever not?" Itachi challenged, raising an eyebrow slightly.

"Because it's _wrong! _You can't just go around using your trippy eye powers and -what?" She stopped in the middle of her rant to glare at Deidara, who was snickering.

"'Trippy eye powers', un?"

"Yes!" Mari declared -still much louder than necessary, Itachi thought with irritation- glaring at Deidara like she wanted him dead immediately.

Itachi decided to ignore their bickering. "And what makes it wrong, exactly?"

Mari stopped glaring at Deidara long enough to give Itachi an incredulous look. "_What makes it wrong? _What do you mean, what makes randomly knocking people out _wrong?" _

"It wasn't random," Itachi explained solemnly. "Would it have been any less wrong to leave you to your own devices and ultimately hurt yourself irreparably?"

"Yes -I mean, no- Look, it's wrong! It just is!" Mari said, obviously getting flustered.

Itachi didn't usually get involved in arguments with others, because most things were stupid and pointless, but the topic of morals was one he happened to care deeply about. Or, well, as deep as Itachi felt things. "But what is your reasoning for that?"

Mari glared at him -making eye contact, Itachi noticed. Apparently she didn't learn. "What do you mean, 'reasoning'? It's just wrong. You don't need reasons for everything, Weasel Dick."

"Hn," Itachi replied, lifting his gaze to the ceiling. "'Right'? 'Wrong'? Merely vague concepts. Emotions are unreliable, unreasonable, and change with the winds; people can't judge morals by how they feel. Only logic can tell you what's truly right and wrong, and emotions have nothing to do with it…And beyond that, is morality defined by what we achieve, or how we achieve it? Which brings even more questions to mind. Perhaps there is no 'right' or 'wrong', just logical paths to the greater good."

No, Itachi didn't usually care to get into debates -but when he did, Itachi _won. _

There was a long pause, in which all three stared blankly at Itachi. He supposed they were surprised at him having talked so much; he was still somewhat surprised. That, or they were letting it sink in, coming up with their own arguments to counter his statement-

"You are literally out of your fucking mind," Mari deadpanned. "'No right or wrong'? 'Greater good'? 'No FUCKING _emotions_'? Do you know how many BILLIONS of people have died because of that kind of crazy-ass thinking? Emotions are the only thing that keep us human, you psychotic asshole. "

Well, it took a certain kind of person to manage to make Itachi legitimately angry, and it looked like Mari was one of them. Yes. Actually, Itachi did know how many people have died 'for the greater good'. He knew better than Mari ever would. And he'd lost his so-called 'humanity' long ago. This girl knew nothing -_nothing- _of what it meant to be, and to not be, human. He was about to say so, but was interrupted by Joseph: "Sooo hot," she drooled, immediately breaking the serious atmosphere.

"What's hot about being a psychotic, emotionless asshole?" Mari asked her friend incredulously.

"Like you said, you can't explain it -it just _is." _

"No it's not. It's fucking EVIL, man."

"That's why it's hot!"

"Sounds to me like you were right about the 'psychotic asshole' thing, un," Deidara put in.

Immediately Mari whipped around to glare at him. "Stay out of this, prick! And for God's sake PUT A FUCKING SHIRT ON!"

Itachi should've known better than to try to have a philosophical conversation with these three.

"I'm cool with shirtlessness," Joseph added, openly eyeing Deidara's bare chest.

Deidara ignored Joseph, choosing instead to continue harassing Mari. "Why, tough girl? Does this make you _uncomfortable, _un?"

"Aw, he even has a pet name for you," Joseph cooed, grinning even bigger.

"GO FUCK YOURSELVES!" Mari screamed. Itachi thought she might've busted his eardrums.

This was when Itachi decided that he was done here. He had no reason to continue talking to these three idiots. He turned to leave out the trapdoor, walking out of the house and ignoring their continued bickering.

As for what he could learn from their so-called conversation, Joseph seemed to be Mari's friend who lived with her, and they obviously fought a lot. Mari also seemed to resent Deidara more than Itachi had originally thought. As far as Deidara, Itachi thought it was more likely that he just thought it was funny to bother Mari than that he actually wanted her, but he could be wrong, he supposed. He didn't really care enough to put much thought into the matter.

As for Mari herself, she used a lot of profanity and general unintelligent language, but the observation about emotions being all that made us human and so on, was actually a pretty acute observation. Nothing special, but it looked like Mari was at least a bit smarter than she acted.

Itachi left the house, to go arrange his thoughts into a report for Leader and an appeal as to why his idea was the best, most logical route toward the greater good.

* * *

><p>I continue to glare at the trapdoor even after Weasel Dick leaves.<p>

"Leaving so soon, hm?" Deidara called after him.

Of course Weasel Dick ignored him. He is above us mere mortals, what with our emotions and such. "Shut the hell up, Deidara," I snarl immediately.

"He didn't even say anything to you," Joseph noticed quietly.

I narrowed my eyes at her, annoyed. "He's in my house and he's talking. That's reason enough to tell him to shut up, man."

Joseph sighed dramatically and rolled her eyes. "You're sabotaging yourself again, Mari-chan."

I go on the defensive immediately. "Don't bring that up with Blonde Prick here, man!"

"Bring what up, un?" Deidara asked curiously.

"Mari's inability to act like a chick," Joseph answered casually. I punched her on the arm, hard. "Geez! You know it's true, Mari!"

"Don't talk about this crap with him here, bitch!" I hiss angrily.

"I don't give a damn about him, whore!"

"So don't talk about shit in front of him, cunt!"

"I'll talk about whatever I want in front of whoever I want, fuckhead!"

"Go to hell, asstard!"

"After you, fuckbreath!"

We probably would've continued like this for awhile, but Deidara yawned. "Ugh. Catfight, un."

I turn to glare intensely at Deidara. "I hate you so fucking much."

He grins back at me triumphantly. "Keep telling yourself that, tough girl."

Okay, that's it. I try to stand up to attack him, even though my ankle's broken, but before I can even get up Joseph's arm is holding me back. "Are you playing hard-to-get?" she asked, all cool, like we were spies in a conspiracy or some dumbass thing like that.

"I'm not playing jackshit!" I shout.

She rolled her eyes. "Sure you aren't."

"I know, right, un." Deidara stood up dramatically and gave me one last smirky-asshole look. "Well, it's been fun, but I'd better be going now. Try not to get jumped again while I'm not there to save you, tough girl."

"I'm gonna fucking murder you," I seethe. "I'm gonna stab your eyeballs out with a fork and leave you to die in a mother fucking ditch!"

"Not with that ankle, you're not," he grins slyly.

"GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!"

"See you in school on Monday," Deidara told me, all smug-like, before finally leaving.

I glare at the empty trapdoor for a moment, inhaling all angry. I put my hands on my forehead as I try to calm down. "Prick," I mutter. Although I have to admit I'm just thankful he finally decided to leave without some huge ordeal first.

"Are you out of your damn mind?" Joseph asks as soon as we hear the front door shut.

I look through my hands to glare at her. "I'm not in the mood, Joseph."

"Too damn bad!" she says, leaning toward me excitedly. "Did you not FEEL the romantic tension in the air?"

"You're on drugs, aren't you."

Joseph threw her hands into the air. "Unbelievable. Unbelievable! You could be going out with that guy within a _week _if you wanted, if that!"

"I don't want!" I say, glaring at her. "He's a prick!"

"Yes you _do _want," she said dismissively. Um, excuse me? "You just don't know it yet."

"No, seriously, you're on drugs, right?"

"Mari!" she exclaimed. "Are you just gonna be alone forever!"

"Maybe I am," I snapped. "It's better than settling for some crappy guy."

"That guy isn't crappy!"

"Yes he fucking is! He's the epitome of crap!"

Joseph rolled her eyes, putting her head in her hands. "What am I going to do with you?" she asked tiredly. "Why do you consistently turn down every guy you meet without giving them a chance?"

I face palm. "I hate this subject! For the last time, _guys don't like me! _And Blonde Prick doesn't like me either, so don't pull that card out!"

"Guys _do _like you, you fucking tard!" she hisses at me.

"I beg to differ," I scoff. "Guys don't give me the time of day, man."

"They would, if you weren't always yelling at them and _fighting _them, for God's sake."

I give her a weird look. "I do that to everybody, man."

"Especially guys!" she continues. "How do you expect to meet anyone if it's immediately like, 'Hey Mari.' 'FUCK YOU!'"

I look away. "I don't need to explain myself to you. I'm tired, alright?"

"BULLSHIT you're tired! You don't sleep, bitch!" she exclaims excitedly.

"I do sometimes, dumbass! Just let me sleep, you fucking psycho bitch!"

Joseph looked disgusted and rolled her eyes at me, getting up off the bed. "Whatever."

She got up to walk toward the trapdoor in silence and began to climb down. The very last second before her head sunk under the floor, she looked at me and grinned mischievously. "Well, it doesn't matter much either way. Blondie likes you, I can tell, and he's not gonna give up so easily."

Her head was gone by the time the lamp hit the place where she'd been. Or, the proximity of it. My aim fucking is horrible.

* * *

><p><strong>Oh, Joseph...the real-life Joseph has practically the same conversation with me almost twice a week. Tis annoying, but easily twisted to be humorous!<strong>

**The thing is, I'm grounded yet again. -_- And yes, my ability to update crap is totally related to whether or not I'm grounded. I finish typing this In The Dead Of Night so I can update it before I go to school. Anyways, I might only be grounded for a day or so, which wouldn't have much of an effect on the updates either way, but just in case I'm grounded for longer here's a heads-up.**

**Anyways, thanks for reading and please review! Remember, I update at +20 (so long as I'm ungrounded by then...).**

**-Amy out!**


	19. Everyone Is Plotting But Mari

**Hey, I got my grounded-ness extended, because I'm an idiot. I swear, something about being grounded makes me need to do MORE things to make me be grounded. Usually groundation is a mixed blessing because, while I have to get on to type it up while my parents are asleep, I also have nothing to do all day but write; unfortunately I'm forbidden to write, either, now. I can't read, or write, or watch movies, OR LISTEN TO MUSIC, or go to my friends', OR GO OUT TO THE CANYONS, until the seventeenth…sigh…But I have ISS, for several days, which gives me much time to write at school. So, yay, I guess.**

**And, because BlackCatGirl is a BADASS, she drew Mari! Here:**http:/tokyoblackcatgirl11 deviant art com/#/d4p93h2 **Just put dots where the spaces is.**

**Anyways, I wrote this chapter from several different POVs! (Yes, Deidara included.) I got kind of uncomfortable writing Deidara's and Joseph's POV, because they're perverts, but I shouldn't be so sensitive. I mean, I read lemons and crap, but writing it feels different…I'm gonna start writing their names above in bold, to avoid confusion. Also, when reading POVs, remember that this is what the character is thinking AT THAT TIME, not necessarily what's true or what they'll be thinking later. I'm not naming names…**

* * *

><p><strong>Itachi <strong>

"Really, Itachi, don't you think that would be extreme?" Pein asked.

Itachi remained impassive. "Yes, I do, but when has the Akatsuki been afraid to resort to the extreme?"

"When it is unnecessary," Pein answered after a split-second's hesitation. "I've never known you to be anything but supremely cautious, Itachi-san. Why the change of attitude?"

"No change," Itachi replied calmly. "In fact, I believe this to be the most prudent course of action we could take. I've thought this through completely, Leader-sama."

"I'm sure you have," the orange-haired man agreed, and then added with a trace of humor, "I'd be astounded if you hadn't."

Itachi believed him. The Uchiha was by far the most levelheaded and analytical of the Akatsuki, almost always favoring the cautious and smartest option. Pein-sama was bound to take him seriously when he suggested a risky or extreme course of action.

The consultation with his gang leader took place in Konan and Pein's joint room/office, over tea. As odd as it was to consider that a gang comprised almost entirely of minors that were wanted in various states discussed gang business over tea.

Pein took a sip of said beverage and gave Itachi a thoughtful look. "Very well. Why do you consider this necessary?"

"The civilian Mari Sui is continuously involved in conflict with Oto and seems to have been targeted by them. She was jumped four hours ago by five adult Oto and was being tortured when Deidara and I stepped in. You know Oto as well as I do, and it is likely that they intend to kill or at least severely injure her; the ones who jumped her broke her ankle almost immediately."

Pein raised an eyebrow. "Protocol would require us only to lend our protection to such an individual."

Itachi nodded. "Yes, but that's where it gets complicated. Not only would this girl never, under any circumstances, accept our protection, but she will continue to do whatever she deems necessary to defend her pride, and this will include facing Oto regardless of the dangers to her person."

Pein regarded Itachi with slight surprise. "Of this you are certain?"

"Positively certain," Itachi agreed.

Pein took another sip of his tea and gave a small, ironic smile. "Sounds like a spirited girl."

Itachi nodded slightly. "That she is."

"Spirited enough to, at age fifteen, survive what you propose?"

It was Itachi's turn to smile ironically. "There's no doubt in my mind, Leader-sama."

"…I see." Pein's multicolored eyes drifted to the left corner of the room briefly, before snapping immediately back to Itachi. "Her capabilities?"

"She handles herself well in fistfights. I myself saw her win rather impressively against three other girls her own age, not to mention holding her own against Deidara. She has the potential to become an excellent fighter."

"It takes quite a lot to impress you, Itachi-san."

"That is does, Leader-sama."

Pein nodded. "Very well. What about her mental and emotional capabilities?"

"I believe her to be competent. Not once while being tortured by Oto did she scream or beg for mercy. She bit her lips until they bled rather than show pain."

Leader didn't question how Itachi knew this. He'd stopped questioning how Itachi knew things long ago. "What is her position?"

"Economically disadvantaged. She has a little brother by the name of Kai. It appears as though her parents aren't around much."

Pein nodded, digesting this information. "I will consider your proposal."

Itachi nodded and left the room. He recognized a dismissal when he saw one.

* * *

><p><strong>Deidara<strong>

_And people wonder why I hate the Uchiha asshole. _

Deidara kicked a random rock on the sidewalk as he walked toward the Akatsuki Gang Headquarters, still annoyed at the events of the day. First off was Tough Girl. What the hell was the matter with her? She was attacked and being held down and obviously losing. You'd think she would've been grateful to be saved, right? But no! She'd acted like him helping her out was a bad thing. Who in their right minds screamed at the one that saved them to fuck off, and then tired to _walk _back to their house on a broken ankle? Crazy little bitch…

But far worse than that was how quickly she'd agreed to let them help her when _Itachi _asked. The dude was a complete asshole! He'd even told her, "there's no kindness involved". And then she was fine with it! Deidara thought girls were big on all that touchy-feely kindness crap.

Of course, he also thought girls loved to be saved by hot guys.

Deidara figured Mari must be something of an exception. Maybe he should've figured that out when she was willing to attack him. How many times had she punched him so far, or gotten into some kind of fight with him? There was the first day she was here, out there where she kept her bike, that time she tried to make him tap out, the time at school after she'd dyed his hair pink…That made four. Oh, wait, and she'd punched him on the way to her house today -that made five. Plus she'd spilt her milk on him twice. And dying his hair pink counted as assault, didn't it? It should. That was fucked up.

Deidara blinked. Now that he thought about it, he couldn't bring to mind a single time the two of them had been together and some sort of fight hadn't resulted.

_So _why _so I even want to be around her? _he asked himself.

The answer presented itself almost immediately: she was entertaining. From the spit-fire attitude to her short, easily provoked temper, Deidara found her hilarious. It took almost zero effort on his part to get her spitting mad. He always did think girls were funny when they were pissed off. It was weird, he would've thought it would be cool to see Tough Girl all meek, but when she ended up getting anywhere near the vicinity it just freaked him out. It was better when she was obnoxious. If she was gonna be okay with him laying next to her, it'd be better if it wasn't because she was all emo cause she just lost a fight…but maybe he should've just taken advantage of the situation while he could. Anyways…

Plus, Tough Girl was actually _good _at fighting. And not just 'for a girl', either -although he'd never admit it. Girls who were good at fighting were usually cool to hang out with. And good in bed.

Deidara smirked to himself. He should mention that theory to her. He could already picture her reaction…she was so damn funny when she was angry. And kind of hot, too, but the main reason was funny.

Oh, and she hated Itachi, which was another trait Deidara admired in a person. He was willing to ignore the being-willing-to-go-home-when-Itachi-asked-her thing in light of this obvious fact. "Weasel Dick," he muttered to himself, snickering. That was his new second-favorite term for the Uchiha, after "asshole".

Yep, Tough Girl was one of the most entertaining chicks he'd met. _I wonder if I could get her to sleep with me, _he thought idly, but immediately dismissed the thought. Obviously he _could. _Deidara had never met a girl he couldn't win over in a week or two. Besides, Tough Girl already wanted him, he could tell. But if he wanted sex, he could get it from a hotter girl, who knew what the hell she was doing, too. Tough Girl was a looker, but she didn't have much in the boob department. Deidara could do much better. Besides, if he slept with her she'd be all girlfriend-y and stop fighting with him, which meant he'd stop being entertained. Deidara could get sex from just about any chick he wanted, but Tough Girl was the only one he could count on to make him laugh with her feist.

Wait, was feist even a word? Like feisty, but a watchamacallit, a noun…_Who cares, it should be_, Deidara decided. Anyways, the bottom line was Tough Girl was worth more as someone to fight with than as someone to fuck.

Of course, if the opportunity presented itself, he'd take advantage of it, he thought, grinning. She _was _pretty hot.

At that point Deidara's mind drifted back to his most recent art show. Or, preparation for an art show would be more accurate; it was going to be BADASS!

* * *

><p><strong>Joseph<strong>

Mari is such a clueless idiot sometimes.

I pour the box of macaroni into the pot of boiling water, stirring it with a plastic spoon. Usually Mari would be cooking, because it's one of the few skilled trades she's better at than me, but since her ankle's all broken I've taken over kitchen duty. Actually, now that I think about it, that's not really true; Mari's better at tons of things than I am. I write pretty well, but she was a genuine gift; her singing voice is great, whereas mine is just good; I'd never be able to take care of a nine-year-old as well as she has; and I bet, if she tried, she'd be better with guys, too. Of course, these are all things she considers unimportant. Her poems are great, sometimes amazing, but she considers poem writing somewhat embarrassing and soft. Like sleeping with a stuffed animal. Which is _retarded. _If you'd read those poems you'd know that there's nothing 'soft' about them. There's real power in what she writes, somehow. A smarter person would be able to explain it better than I can.

And she _is _proud of her singing voice, but she tends to focus more on her inability to play guitar than on that. (I know how, and I've offered to teach her, but she refused.) Besides, her main goal is to be a badass, and singing doesn't fall into that category. "Snow freakin' White can _sing_," she spat at me when I mentioned it. "I wanna be able to pick locks and jump onto moving trains."

And she doesn't consider the ability to nurture to be important to her at any point.

I have to laugh at this. Neither do I, honestly. There are lots of things I think Mari would excel at, but mothering is not one of them.

And the boy thing, she wouldn't even consider a skill to begin with, although she'd be WRONG. If I were to put it nicely, I'd call her 'romantically challenged'. If I were to tell the truth, I'd say that if she doesn't want to die alone as a crazy cat lady, she'd better get a fucking boyfriend, NOW!

I mean, that guy -what's his name, the blonde one- he gave her an opening! A hot guy, a bad boy, who'd apparently CARRIED HER HOME from the BRINK OF DANGER! And did she take advantage of this amazing opportunity? No! She stepped all over his flirtation. I don't even think she knows how easily she could get his guy. If a guy like that wanted to hook up with _me, _I'd have him wrapped around my finger in a week. A WEEK.

And of COURSE she's annoyed with him and wants him to die. That's the way bad boys act when they want you! Now if she slept with him, that would be a different story. He'd start to behave, I can almost guarantee it. It depends on whether Mari's any good in bed.

Of course, we don't even know if she's a good kisser or not. Because the punk bitch won't even do THAT!

Well, I'm not giving up on this _that _easily. You can bet Blondie won't, either. This is my best friend's first shot at real love, or at least, a window without the insane abstinence she's upheld up to now. I can't let it go to waste just because she thinks she doesn't want it! What kind of friend would I be if I DIDN'T try to force her to go out with him?

A terrible one. Exactly.

_Although, _I think slyly as I make us some cherry Kool-Aid to go with dinner, _if she's as stubborn about not going out with him as she is about everything else, _I _wouldn't mind going out with him. Only if she keeps being an idiot, of course. _Neither of us going out with him would be a terrible waste of a hot guy. A hot _shirtless _guy. A hot, shirtless, _bad boy. _Yummy…

But anyways, this is all hypothetical. I've gone out with plenty of hot guys (not because I'm a skank, because I'm Just That Good) before, but Mari hasn't gone out with any. This one's hers, no question about it.

It's weird for me to be pushing Mari to go for it, though. For as long as I can remember, it's been the other way around; I would be hanging back and watching first while Mari jumps straight in and hits the ground running. Not because I'm scared, it's just Mari _doesn't have fear. _Besides, we work well together that way. I'm the smart one, exceeding in the departments of knowing useful things like animal tracks and how to hack computers, stealth, seduction, observation, and weapons. Mari's the crazy, badass, fearless one, exceeding in taking risks, distractions, not taking shit from anyone, pure stubbornness, and fist fighting. Usually, if one of us is being cautious -neither of us list Safety very high on our lists of priorities- it'd be me.

But when it comes to boys, I'm always pushing her to take risks, and she's always turning me down. It's frustrating, but I guess Life's like that.

Well, macaroni's done. "KAI! Come eat food!" I shout, and set out a plate for him by the stove. He can make his own plate, y'know. Besides, it's about time I got around to fully unpacking my bags. Mari's been up my ass about it the entire time I've been here: "If I stub my toes on your goddamn battle ax one more time I'm gonna turn around and cut your fucking head off with it, bitch!"

Such love.

When I get up to Mari's room, which we've been sharing, I see she'd fallen asleep. Huh. Mari must be pretty drained; she's always been kind of sleep-optional. Which is another one of her skills: Insane energy levels. "I'll sleep when I'm dead!" she says. As for me, I need all the sleep I can get. We're both irresponsible, but I'm the lazy kind of irresponsible; Mari's the too-busy-raising-hell-to-do-homework kind of irresponsible.

Not that I don't raise hell, too. Note the 'fugitive wanted by the law for assault with a deadly weapon' thing. I just raise hell smarter.

My bags are dumped unceremoniously in the corner next to her desk, my clothes and junk strewn all around them. They're mainly black and purple, and actually pretty nice, since my jack-off of a father used to make the big bucks denying money to little old ladies who'd been paying his insurance company every month for years. (Watch The Incredibles; my Dad's the shrimpy douche bag boss-man, only taller, drunker and meaner.) I first learned hoe to hack computers and handle paperwork from trying to access his inflated bank account so I could USE some of that money. My grades might be the pits, but that's because I don't care about grades. I _do _care about being able to buy stuff.

I finally figured out in the sixth grade. I was able to access my family's bank account. It took another month and a half to learn how to copy my dad's signature and penetrate the bureaucracy, but when I did, I was golden, baby! Anyways, of course Dad did notice eventually that about half the money in his bank account was going missing every week, but he made the mistake of underestimating Joseph Rokadu.

He never even considered that I might be the culprit, ha ha, dumbass!

Anyways, the point of this story is, I've had tons of money at my disposal since the sixth grade, and you'd better believe I made the most of it. I spent some money on clothes, some money on Mari, saved some of it, but I spent the majority on WEAPONS!

You heard me right -fucking badass weapons! Everything from samurai swords and ninja weapons to cherry bombs (it's a pain in the ass to get a hold of a hand grenade, so that's on my to-do list) and my .44 revolver. I still have the weapons me and Mari made out of junkyard crap up until sixth grade; mainly old chair and table legs we called 'clubs' and razor blades with duck tape on the end we called 'ninja stars'. I pull them out of the bag (the ninja stars, since I can't exactly choose chair legs for my battle ax and machetes, can I?), grinning at the fond memories of us as little children. After a hard day of starting trouble and fighting other kids, we'd go and steal Mari's dad's old biker's leather, put on helmets and goggles, take our clubs and homemade ninja stars, go out to the middle of the field by my old house, and try to beat the ever-living shit out of each other, laughing the entire time. Or, at least, until we started getting serious. Mari would usually end up stomping off, waving the middle finger at me and screaming insults, and then I'd come over the next day and everything would be fine, and we'd start all over again.

Most people would say "oh that's dangerous and bad and blabbeddy fucking blah" but that was how we first learned our various strengths and weaknesses, and how to use teamwork to compensate for them. That's how we learn. We can't help it if we're psychotic, violent bitches -and even if we could, we wouldn't want to. For example, I'll admit Mari's a better fist fighter than I am, and has more upper-body strength, but I'm a FAR better aim (which meant I could usually nick her face while her ninja stars would fly harmlessly five feet to the right of me) and I'm faster. Plus I plan things out. Usually I'd just keep making her madder and madder until finally she'd snap and come running at me, club over her head, screaming like a banshee and ready to bash my head in.

I'd just stand there calmly, making her even madder, and then at the very last second step out of the way and trip her. She's always been super clumsy, so this would work every time. Then I'd jump on her back, pull her arms behind her, and game over!

I learned some very impressive cuss words this way.

Anyways, as time went on clubs and redneck ninja stars lost their appeal, although I keep the latter for sentimental reasons. Starting in the fifth grade I'd go on knife hunts, looking for anything sharp and/or pointy. Mari contributed, although this was the year that she started spouting her ridiculous idea that bringing weapons into a fight was as bad as using cheap shots. That's so stupid! I mean, yeah, you're not gonna pull out a gun rather than use your fists and fight fair, but if you're outnumbered what's the point of getting the shit beat out of you rather than pull out a knife or something to give you an edge? Besides, weapons are AWESOME!

Anyways, I had to leave some of my collection at home, but I brought all my favorites. Except the samurai swords, but really, could you see me walking around with those? I wouldn't even be able to get on a public bus. Besides, it would've taken too long to actually learn how to use them. At the moment I have a bulletproof vest (not a weapon but useful as hell), my .44, a handful of cherry bombs, my machetes and thigh holster-sheath-thingos -I don't know what it's called, like where cowboys but their guns but on your thighs instead of your hip and for knives. Mari says wearing it makes me look like a zombie-killing hooker, which I consider a compliment. It's not like she hasn't ever tried them on, either, and with her red-and-black gothic gear, complete with FISHNETS half the time, who do you think looks like a badass hooker more, hmm?

So, I also have about five different kinds of pocket knives, these awesome brass knuckle-type-things but they're actually brass rings with inch-tall spikes instead, pepper spray and a holder for that that goes on my forearm, this awesome metal baseball bat which me and Mari made an over-the-shoulder holder for, and my pride and joy, THE BATTLE AX!

Yes, me and Mari both love it. Mari's insisted that I not play with it in her room, but I'm allowed to bash the walls elsewhere. She wouldn't even have approved that, but since she already has a broken window and an almost-completely-decimated closet, she figured, what the hell. So I'm allowed to give in to my destructive urges when I feel like it.

Anyways, I have more than these, but these are the main things. I'm not about to tell you every weapon I own because that would take forever, but I like these because most of them have holders so they can be deposited somewhere on your body for maximum ease/badass-looking-ness. One time Mari caught me checking myself out wearing all of them at once and pointing my gun at the mirror like a Charlie's Angel. Oh yes, she had quite a laugh at that one. Bitch…

Oh, and I remember now, Mari said she'll let me use these brass knuckles she stole from some bitch if I want them, but I like my spiked rings better. They just do more damage, y'know? But still, they'll come in handy at some point.

I've offered to let Mari use these. As long as you keep them concealed and don't walk under any metal detectors, it's perfectly possible to live a fulfilling life with weapons on you at all times. But of course, she refuses. "I'll just stick with my mad skillz, thanks," she'd say, which of course would set off an argument as to who has skillz and which ones and how much of them.

I have to smile again at myself as I start to lovingly find ingenious places to hide my weapons (e.g., under Mari's bed). We may be crazy bitches, but our friendship kicks ass, and Mari and Joseph are a force to be reckoned with. And we'll be even more so when I convince her to use weapons, and when she finally starts to recognize boobs as a power to be used for evil when need be.

Now, about this Blondie thing…

* * *

><p><strong>Fucking Joseph is amazing. I know there's a lot of introspection in this chapter, but it was fun as hell to write! Anyways, I'm liking Joseph more every time I write her. Sneaky crazy bitch…And the going-out-to-beat-the-shit-out-of-each-other-for-fun is an exaggeration of real events of me and my cousins and me and Rainy-She-Teme. Also the homemade weapons thing, but I always did it alone because people tend to get freaked out when I hold anything that could be aimed for their head. Just a fun fact, I almost stabbed a guy in third period last week. I never knew stabbing could be so fun. I mean, I SUSPECTED, but…<strong>

**Well, thanks for reading, please review, and check under your bed for battle axes!**

**-amy out**


	20. FML Is My Mantra

**I think I mentioned this before, but my original outline went all the way to chapter 21. Well, now it goes probably on to 30, since I keep adding chapters and stuffs! So more reading material for you guys! :3**

**And, I've been thinking: maybe I'm making Mari be TOO badass. If you think about it, that's kind of a form of Mary Sue-ness, to have a character be awesome in every aspect of badass-ness. Well, then again she's not the sneaky kind of badass, so maybe that makes up for it…hmm…**

**Also, just gonna say this: I LOVE FAN ART! With all my fucking soul! I super-duper love every single one of you (okay, so there's only two, so what?) who graced my eyes with fan art and you guys are automatically on my favorite authors list! :D**

**TWO HUNDRED REVIEWS! TWO…HUNDRED…FUCKING…REVEIWS! SQUEEE There is no smiley capable of expressing my joy! (Okay, stop it, Amy, you sound retarded.) I never thought this fic would be such a hit, remember when I first published it and said it 'wouldn't be a priority'? And now, it's practically all I think about! I am so damn happy for all the reviews you guys are giving me, I LOVE YOU FOREVER and maybe even longer! Anyhoo, just so you know this fic might not be officially completed until long after I actually write the conclusion, because I'll need to go back and add scenes I think of later, correct mistakes I've made, etc. So…yeah.**

* * *

><p>Fucking Joseph. Fucking Joseph. FUCKING JOSEPH.<p>

Have I ever mentioned how much I HATE being injured?

I glare at my cast in utter disgust. It's not the pain I can't handle, it's the utter inability to do damn ass ANYTHING. I can't ride my bike to school, for example. So I tried to walk, which caused Joseph to have this huge hissy fit.

"So get me a ride!" I snapped exasperatedly.

"You know damn well I can't-" Then she stopped talking to grin evilly at me.

"I hate it when you smile like that, man," I told her tiredly.

And I was right to be worried, because five minutes later as I was hobbling down the street FUCKING DEIDARA showed up on a motorcycle!

Which normally would've been awesome, I mean, come on, a Harley! But it would involve sitting next to Deidara. Have you ever seen a chick riding on the back of a motorcycle? She has to hug the guy's waist to keep from falling. And to hell with that!

So I flipped him off and kept going, and here I am still trying to ignore him. Unfortunately for me Deidara isn't just gonna drive off and let me walk to school the slow (very slow) way. He's chosen instead to ride his bike right next to me, going slow as hell, and giving me this skeptical look that makes me want to slap him. "You ready to be driven now, un?"

"HELL NO!"

"You're gonna have to eventually, hm."

"Fuck that, man!"

"You'll be late, un."

"I am ignoring you now."

"Sure you are."

This conversation repeats itself more or less every couple of minutes for several blocks. I feel ridiculous, limping slow as hell as a dude on a motorcycle rides at the same pace next to me. Damn, why'd he have to have a Harley? Why'd he have to be Deidara? I've been wanting to ride a Harley since I was eight…but I'd rather die than let Blonde Prick help me. So I shall continue walking. Like an idiot.

A black car drives by, going way over the speed limit. I look up to glare at them -I don't really care if they speed, I just have Road Rage issues- when, suddenly, they roll to a stop right in the middle of the street.

I look at the car curiously as they gear into reverse and drive backward, pulling up right by us.

The window rolls down, and my confusion is solved when I see Kisame and Hidan in the front seats.

FUCK MY LIFE.

"Hey Ma-ri," Kisame smirks from the driver's side, drawing my name out.

"Bit off more than you could chew, huh, bitch?" Hidan laughs.

"GO AWAY!"

Of course they ignored me. "What, not gonna offer the girl a ride, Deidara?" Kisame asks.

"She's stubborn as hell," Deidara sighs. "She won't get on, un."

"So? Her ass is fucking injured!" Hidan shouts, with his usual tendency to be WAY louder than necessary. "Just make the bitch get on the bike!"

"Hidan, I'm gonna scratch your fucking eyeballs out!"

"If she wiggles around on a motorcycle, she'll fall off, un," Deidara explains.

"Like you give a flying rat's ass!" I shout.

"She won't fall out of a car, though," Kisame notices.

Slowly they all turn from their conversation to smirk at me.

"You got a point there, Kisame, un," Deidara says, grinning at me. "You don't get carsick, do you, tough girl?"

"Don't you fucking-"

That's as far as I get.

Two minutes later I'm sitting in the front seat between Hidan and Deidara, fuming, as we drive back to their place (Apparently they all live together. Weird, right?). Kisame offered to drive Deidara's motorcycle back. Then, I guess he'd get in the car and we'll all ride to school together.

_Fuck my life. _

"Soo…"Hidan begins.

"GO DIE IN A MOTHERFUCKING HOLE!" I screech.

At which point they both start laughing. "Someone's high-strung, un," Deidara tells me.

"I am not fucking high strung! I'm pissed off!"

Hidan takes a sudden left turn. So sudden that the velocity whatever-you-call it caused me to fall into Deidara, so I was almost leaning on him. The brief contact gives me a jolt and my neck starts to feel all warm for a second. Of course it's over as soon as it starts, so I don't even think about it.

"HEY!" I said, sitting back up immediately and planting my right foot on the ground to steady myself from future turns. "Don't do that shit!"

"I'll do what I fucking want," Hidan replies, and then he proceeds to take all the sharpest turns, both to the left and right, on the way to their house, causing me to veer off in the direction of both smirking boys at every turn. Even worse, I can't exactly plant my left foot down to keep me from veering into Hidan, so…

FML.

Of course, once we FINALLY get to school and I get out of The Car of Doom, they're not just gonna let me walk back to school alone, oh, no. Now they gotta follow me and make fun of me all the way to the cafeteria, too. Fuckheads.

"Why don't you sit at the Akatsuki table today, huh?" Kisame suggests as we walk -and I limp- into the cafeteria.

"To hell with that!" I snap. "I already spent too much time with you fuckers!"

"Well, Leader says he wants to see you anyways."

"I don't give a shit!" I say, turning to head toward Team Baka. "Bye!"

"Hey-"

"I SAID GOODBYE!"

* * *

><p><strong>Pein<strong>

Pein glared as the three boys sat down at their table. "I believe my orders were that she be summoned."

"Relax, we can bring her to the base tonight," Kisame replied flippantly. "Besides, we don't even know for sure if she qualifies."

"She fucking doesn't!" Hidan shouted immediately.

"It is not up to you," Pein said immediately, glaring at Hidan and knowing full well if he didn't silence him now the Jashinist would go on a long, loud rant on the subject.

"Oh come on!" Hidan replied exasperatedly, Pein's attempts to get Hidan to shut up being totally ineffective. "You don't honestly think the bitch can do this shit?"

"She's proven to be capable in danger and combat," Itachi monotoned.

"But is she cruel and vindictive?" Pein asked thoughtfully, more to himself than to anyone else. "If she isn't capable of intimidation and true violence, she will never make it."

There was a silence in which Hidan grinned triumphantly and everyone else looked certain different degrees of thoughtful. Really, no matter how this girl acted, how could any of them be sure Mari really could be cruel, intimidating, and downright scary? Perhaps she couldn't at all, and this entire conversation was useless. If she wasn't the kind of person who could be that way, then this was all a waste of ti-

That was when Mari started to watch Mari get up and walk across the room. Pein noticed after he saw Itachi, to the left of him, gazing in that direction. Mari was resolutely limping toward their end of the cafeteria, but her eyes weren't on them. Following her gaze Pein saw who she was really headed for…

Hmm. This could be interesting.

* * *

><p><strong>Mari<strong>

It's weird. Sometimes in life you'll just be drifting along, grumpily fending off nosy questions from your buds who want to know why your ankle's broken, why you walked in with certain hated gang members, blah blah blah -and then suddenly something happens in a split second that shakes everything from the core. At first you might not see the significance, but when you do the blood rushes to your head and you seem to be living in a heightened reality -your heartbeat pounding in your ears, your vision narrowed to one single point, your mind on one single idea.

I see Moegi.

She's surrounded by her groupies on the other side of the cafeteria, over by the Akatsuki and the super-populars. And every single one of them is grinning or laughing maliciously, staring at my bandaged ankle. What a bunch of bitches. Normally I'd roll my eyes and ignore them, but then I meet Mari's eyes.

Something's wrong.

She's not just laughing at my misery. I mean, she's doing that too, but there's something more there. Something evil-er. After a couple of second of confusion, I realize what it is: _triumph. _She looks proud, like she's achieved something by me walking into school with a broken ankle.

And the only reason for her to look like that…

…is if she had something to do with it.

Anger fills me so fast I nearly choke on it. Logica steps in: **You don't know for sure yet! Don't jump to conclusions!**

_OH, so I should just SIT HERE and-_

**I didn't say that! Find out what she has to do with it!**

And so I do, standing up to head for Moegi without another word. Without even another thought. See, usually I'm not all that confrontational. I'm actually pretty easygoing. Who cares what so and so said to who under what circumstances? I only care if someone wants to mess with me directly, and to my face, and then I'll see if I want to spend the effort on kicking their asses. In other words, I don't usually march up to people I don't like, looking for a fight.

But that doesn't matter now. If what I suspect is right, this bitch has crossed a line that should _never _be crossed, and I've lost my few remaining inhibitions.

No more bullshitting. This is serious.

Moegi continues to stare me down smugly as I approach her, knowing full well I'll lose a fight with this kind of injury, I guess. I try not to let my face show how many miles beyond pissed I am. As I get closer she stands up, hands on her hips to face me. She's an inch or two taller than me, but if anyone's gonna be intimidating today, it'll be me.

"Not so tough now, are you, whore?" she asks, eyes glittering maliciously as all the groupies stop talking to stare.

"Don't start that bullshit," I snarl. "You have _no idea _what I'm capable of, bitch."

"You're capable of getting your ass be-"

"Save the stupid comebacks," I snap. "All I wanna hear from you is, what do you know about this?" I ask, pointing to my ankle.

Her mean eyes dart slowly down to my ankle and back up to my eyes. "What do you mean?"

"You know damn well what I mean! Did you or did you not-"

"Call my girls in Oto and get them to jump your bitchy ass?" she finished for me, grinning at my anger. "Laugh when they told me how you begged and screamed? How you had to had Akatsuki bail your pussy ass out-"

She's silenced by a gigantic slap to the face I give her that sends her stumbling back a step. "Bitch! I'll beat your ass!"

"Because you would try and fight someone with a broken ankle, wouldn't you?" I say quietly, experiencing a whole new kind of anger -a quiet, deadly one. "You would call others to fight your fights for you."

She opens her mouth to talk, but I go on. "Save it! I'm not interested in hearing _one…single…word." _

Even though I'm the injured one, and the shorter one, so I should be scared, I tae a step toward her. She continues to look at me smugly. "For your information," I continue, "your Oto palls lied. I didn't beg. I didn't scream. I bore the pain better than you ever could, Alpha Bitch. And you should've seen Oto run when Akatsuki showed up. They're as big cowards as you are."

Okay, now she's pissed. She leans over me, trying to be menacing, but when I am angry like this, I have zero fear. "They still saved you, slut, and you still got your ass beat!"

I laugh at her, loudly, probably sounding more crazy than funny. I'm dimly aware of the cafeteria being somewhat quieter than usual around tables nearest us. "And you really think that matters now! Rich girl, you're so ignorant I almost feel sorry for you. But I'm done cutting you slack, because bitch, you have CROSSED THE LINE!"

"You're not about to get far threatening me with a fucking broken ankle!" she snaps, looking positively livid. "What if I just beat your ass right now, for every one to see!"

"Go ahead!" I shout, becoming crazier by the second and loving every bit of it. "Because you know what that would prove? That you're the kind of shameless bitch that would do just that! And besides, it'd just make the payback that much better!"

Her eyes widen. "What are you talking about, you crazy bitch?"

"What do you think?" I look her straight in the eyes, hoping she can see now how furious I am. How entirely serious. "You see this cast?" I ask, pointing down at my left foot. "You think this is something to be proud of? You think this is a FUCKING TROPHY?"

Now people are really starting to stare. Not only that, but Moegi actually looks kinda scared. She takes an involuntary step back, and I follow. "You're wrong, bitch! This isn't any trophy, _it's a clock." _

She looks at me like I just said it was a unicorn. "What the fuck?"

"Let me explain," I say, cocking my head to one side. "This ankle heals in a bout three weeks, and that's when the cast comes off. And when that happens, I'm coming for you."

She isn't showing fear on her face, but I can see it in her eyes. Well, at least a little. "Bullshit."

"Oh, go ahead and think I'm bluffing. Feel free." I take a step backward away from her, now smiling slightly, but my eyes are as hateful as ever. "Like I said earlier. You have _no idea _what I am capable of."

I turn to leave, ignoring stares from fellow students, when suddenly one more thing to say pops into my head. I look over my shoulder at the still shell-shocked Alpha Bitch. "Tick. Fucking. Tock."

And I walk away, still pissed inside, but I'll admit that was satisfying. I hope she really is scared. I kind of doubt it though, because seriously, all I did was talk. Kids threaten each other all the time. How scary could I be?

* * *

><p><strong>Deidara<strong>

Never before had a limp looked so menacing.

Deidara watched Tough Girl leave the bitch, still gaping open-mouthed at Mari, with a slowly growing grin. _That's my girl, _he thought smugly. _Didn't I say she was tough? _

At the last second her eyes darted toward the Akatsuki, and seeing him smiling at her, Deidara.

Deidara gave her a big grin and a thumbs-up.

She looked at him with a slightly raised eyebrow, all confused, before scowling and continuing on her way.

Deidara chuckled and turned back to face his table.

"Does that answer your question?" Itachi monotoned, without actually looking up at Leader.

Hidan laughed out loud. "That bitch is scared shitless! Ha!"

"Change of attitude, hmm?" Deidara commented halfheartedly. They all knew Hidan didn't put any thought into things he said.

Pein looked thoughtful. Then, suddenly, he said, "Itachi, your proposition is accepted. Bring Mari to the base tonight."

Deidara grinned even wider. Life just got more interesting.

* * *

><p><strong>Mari<strong>

Rich kids are pussies.

Look, so I threatened Moegi. Big deal. Like I said earlier, people threaten others all the time. It's not like I poked a gun at her or something.

Everywhere I go people keep giving me this Look. Not a scared look, more of a knowing look, like they're all thinking, "There's the psychopath who's gonna strangle Moegi. Don't talk to her or she might go psycho and strangle you, too." Like because I can scare that coward, I'm suddenly a threat, or some dumb shit like that.

Which is _retarded. _I'm not some kind of criminal. I'm not even all that badass, I just act it. Haven't they ever heard of playing a bluff?

Not that I was earlier. I really am gonna make her regret messing with me; but what's so cool about that? _People should just stay out of what's not their business, _I think bitchily. They wouldn't think I'm so "scary" or whatever if they knew I still have a rubber ducky. Not to mention the poem-writing thing. And if any of them paid attention, they'd know it was all just a defense mechanism -I mean, duh. Everyone who acts the way I do is just trying to defend themselves, that's common knowledge.

_God forbid I ever meet someone who understands that, _I think idly as I walk into third period. _They'd probably eat my soul. _

Well, I'm lucky in that department, because most people are idiots. I sit down in my assigned seat with my head in the clouds. The only person I know who I could imagine being smart enough to do that is-

"Hello, Mari," Itachi greets me calmly.

Sitting right next to me.

Damn. "What do you want?" I ask, narrowing my eyes.

Itachi regards me emotionlessly. "Did you mean what you said to Moegi?"

"Oh my god!" I snap, rolling my eyes. "That's between me and her! It's none of your damn business!"

"Did you mean it?" he repeats, staring at me intensely.

I look back at him, calculating the odds of getting him to leave me alone without answering him.

"I'm not going to leave you alone until you answer me," Itachi tells me monotonously.

What the fuck! How did he even…I scowl at him, resenting his tendency to be right at all times. "Yes, I meant it, and don't you even try and-"

"I wouldn't," Itachi interrupts me. "This is entirely between you and Moegi."

I give him a look for a full four seconds, before concluding that as always, Itachi has no intention of showing any kind of reaction to anything.

"Damn right it is," I mutter finally before turning away from him. Weasel Dick has to be one of the most infuriating people that I know. Maybe even more infuriating, because while Hidan and Deidara deliberately are intolerable, Itachi just IS. Grr.

This would be the time where Naruto walks in and eases the tension, but the little freaking idiot isn't even at school today. Dammit! So I'm just gonna sit here awkwardly, not talking to Weasel Dick and him not-

"Brace yourself."

I jump visibly at the sudden warning. "What the hell? Brace myself? For what?"

Silence.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

He says nothing.

"Say something!"

A profound lack of talking.

I groan. "You are about as helpful as traffic reports, you know that?"

"Hn."

Fuck my life.

* * *

><p>Hidan's acting smugger than usual today. His eyes keep darting back to me with that I-know-something-you-fucking-don't face. But even more disturbing than that, is that he's being <em>quiet. <em>

Now some of you might not know Hidan as well as I do. Let me fill you in: Loud Hidan = Pain in the ass. Quiet Hidan = You'd best look behind you, because chances are you're about to get attacked by a pack of wild wolves, and he doesn't want to spoil it by talking and giving you a warning.

This is the knowledge I've gained from three weeks of friendship with this psycho. And let it be noted that I use the term "friendship" very, very loosely. "Alright, what's wrong?" I finally ask.

"Why would some shit be wrong, bitch?" he asks in a voice that I think he thinks is supposed to be "innocent".

"You're never quiet unless something's wrong, dude."

"Yes I am."

I roll my eyes. "Bullshit. Last time you were quiet it was because the entire class was hearing Down With the Sickness."

"Oh yeah." Hidan laughs out loud. "That was a fun day."

Despite myself I smile a little. "Yeah, I guess. But don't get off the subject, dammit! What's wrong?"

He smirks at me. "Gee, should I tell the bitch or not? Well…fuck no."

I give him the finger. "You're a shitty bastard of a friend, you know that?"

"And you're a shitty cunt of a bitch."

"Fucknuggets."

"Shithead."

"Asstard."

"Bitch."

"Douchebag."

"Cunt."

"Your insults really suck today," I tell him conversationally.

He shrugs. "Got other shit on my mind, bitch."

I groan out loud. "Dammit! This isn't gonna end well no matter what I do, is it?"

Hidan grins. "Now you're getting it, bitch." Fuck my life.

* * *

><p>Well, I checked my bag for condoms after class let up, and I didn't find any. Nothing cataclysmic happens for the rest of the day, although in eighth period Sakura did keep giving me these worried little glances. I resisted the urge to ask what was up, because I knew damn well what was up. Maybe she'll get over it soon.<p>

I did run into Moegi in the hallways. She didn't seem scared or smug, just staring at me. I stared right back, raising my eyebrows. After three seconds -or it could've been three years- she looked away, going back to her conversation.

I gave a small smile. Victory for Mari.

Anyways, now it's after school and I'm heading toward the bike…

Rack…

GODDAMMIT! I facepalm dramatically, cursing my stupidity. I didn't BRING my bike to school today! I have to walk!

I turn around and start to go in the other direction. Damn, I wasted time walking over here, like a dumbass! Because, chances are a certain group of idiots are gonna-

"Hey, tough girl! Guess who, un!" Someone -like I really have to guess who- says as two hands go over my eyes- HELL NO!

"AH!" Without even thinking I grab his right arm and pull down hard, causing him to take two steps forward to steady himself.

He wrenches his arm out of my grasp and glares at me. "Bitch, un."

"Don't do that." I glare at him, continuing to slowly walk toward my house, as if I really think he's not gonna force me to ride with them again. FML, FML, FML…

"Where do you think you're going, bitch?" Hidan laughs. "Cuz you're wrong!"

"Fuck off both of you, I'm walking home."

"Sure you are, un." Deidara smirks. "Now do you want to walk to the car or do you want to be carried, un?"

"Fuck your mother!"

"Carried it is, then."

He starts to move toward me. "No! No no no, no…no. I'll walk. Prick."

"That's what I thought, un."

Fuck my life.

Anyways, one of the advantages of willingly getting into a car rather than being forced is getting to choose where I sit. I opt for the backseat, quickly locking the door next to me so Deidara can't-

He raises an eyebrow and unlocks the door. "I have the keys, remember?"

"Hell no!" I glare at him. "Sit in the front!"

"You know," a calm voice tells me from my right, "there's no better way to ensure that the brat will sit by you now than by saying that."

I turn my head to see Sasori climbing into the car. "Oh, hi. Trade me spots?"

"No."

I glare. "Why the hell not?"

"I don't feel like it."

"Well fuck."

Hidan and Kakuzu take the front seats, Kakuzu driving since it's obvious all Hidan's interested in doing is sitting backwards in the seat to bother us. Oh, did I say 'us'? I meant ME.

"This is what you were planning, isn't it?" I glare at him.

"Oh, this? You wish!" Hidan laughs. "Trust me, bitch, this is nothing compared to-"

He's silenced by a smack upside the head from Kakuzu. "Shut up, idiot! Don't tell her."

If I was a cat my ears would've popped up just now. "Don't tell me what?"

"Why fucking not?" Hidan whines. "We're taking her to the-"

"Shut up!" Kakuzu says. "It's Itachi's mission, not ours."

"What's Itachi's mission?"

"So what are we doing with her in the fucking car?"

"Driving her home," Sasori answers calmly.

"What the fuck are you guys talking about?"

"Like we're really gonna tell you, un," Deidara snorts.

"Fuck off!" I snarl.

"You'd like that, wouldn't you, un?"

Hidan laughs out loud, causing Kakuzu to smack him again, and they begin bickering in between mine and Deidara's bickering.

"You're disgusting!"

"Jashin Dammit Kakuzu, you're such a fucking asshole!"

"Stop making it so damn easy then, tough girl!"

"Stop being so loud."

"So easy to do what?"

"I am fucking loud!"

"So easy to piss you off, un."

"You're a fucking prick!"

"You're a prick!"

"You sound just like Hidan, un."

"Fuck off, Deidara!"

"You'd like that, wouldn't you!"

"Go to hell, Kakuzu!"

* * *

><p><strong>Sasori<strong>

If they don't shut up, NOW, there's going to be a problem.

* * *

><p><strong>Mari<strong>

"Deidara, I hope you die and are eaten by rabid weasels."

"Damn, that's morbid, tough girl, un."

"You NEED to stop calling me that!" I snap.

By now Hidan and Kakuzu have stopped arguing, so it's somewhat less chaotic, at least.

"Why should I, un?" Deidara challenges.

"Because it's stupid!" I tell him. "It's not even vaguely insulting! It's just dumb, man!"

"So why do you hate it so much?"

"Because I hate everything you say, and because it's a stupid fucking nickname!"

"I think it's pretty good," Hidan tells us.

"Shut the hell up, Hidan, no one asked you!" I snap.

"How's it any worse than Hidan's nickname for you, un?" Deidara asks.

"I don't give a damn what Hidan says."

"Oh, but you DO care what I say, though, right?"

"NO!"

"Methinks the lady doth protest too much."

"What the FUCK is doth?"

"I dunno, some old dumb-shit word," Hidan says.

"It's a stupid word," I grouch.

"Agreed, un."

"YOU'RE the one who said it!"

"I was just quoting Sheakspeare,"

"Like you know jack shit about Sheakspeare."

"Sure I do, un," Deidara scoffs.

"Prove it."

Deidara looks at me blankly for a second. "Okay, I don't."

"HA!"

"Eminem!" Hidan suddenly shouts.

Me and Deidara pause for a second, turning to look at Hidan. "What the hell?" I ask.

"M n Ms, un?"

"NO, dumb shits, the rapper!" he says, putting in a CD. "I fucking love this guy!"

He cranks up the volume so loud we can't help but hear. "_I'm your mother fucking conscience!"_

I laugh out loud. "This song kicks ass!"

"I know, right!" Hidan shouts back.

We listen as Eminem goes through telling the guys in the story to rob the liquor store, rape the fifteen-year-old chick, and finally get to the part where the dude walks in on his wife cheating on him: _"WHAT THE FUCK!"_

"_Alright calm down, relax, start breathin..Fuck that shit, you just caught this bitch cheatinWhile you at work she's with some dude tryin to get off?"_

Me and Hidan both scream this part, because we're sickos: "_FUCK slittin her throat, CUT THIS BITCH'S HEAD OFF!"Wait! What if there's an explanation for this shit?(What? She tripped? Fell? Landed on his dick?)Alright Shady, maybe he's right GradyBut think about the baby before you get all crazyOkay! Thought about it, still wanna stab her?Grab her by the throat, get your daughter and kidnap her?That's what I did, be smart, don't be a retardYou gonna take advice from somebody who slapped DEE BARNES?What'chu say? (What's wrong? Didn't think I'd remember?)I'ma kill you motherfucker!Uhhh-aahh! Temper temper!"_

I snort in laughter, thinking I must really be screwed up to enjoy this. I mean, really.

"Glad you like Eminem, too," I tell Hidan in between songs.

"Shut up, bitch, I can't hear the song!"

I snort. Figures.

Anyways, the Eminem being on the radio is at least helpful in ignoring Blonde Prick. Although he won't stop smiling.

Yes, smiling. Smirking, grinning, leering, whatever word sounds the most irritating, that's what he'sdoing. Every time I look at him (by mistake, of course) he'll be, you know, smiling like that. It makes me want to punch him.

I don't know why it pissed me off so much. It's like even when I try to ignore him, I can remember that he's sitting there only an inch from me…smirking. It's like an itch in my brain. And it pisses me off, A LOT.

Okay, now I really want to smack him, or pick a fight or something, but I don't want him to know how pissed I am, because then he'll just get even smugger. And he'll start talking to me again. For five whole minutes songs he hasn't bothered me, at least, not on purpose. I'd hate to break this new record by starting a dumb fight. _Just ignore him, _I tell myself, sighing slightly through my nose and crossing my arms. _Ignore…ignore…fucking ignore… _

"What's wrong, un?" Deidara asks, leaning over and talking into my ear.

I instinctively lean away, scowling. He stays there, giving me this amused through half-lidded eyes and grinning like a prick. When he doesn't lean back I push him into the window. "Personal space," I tell him, glaring through my bangs and ignoring the churning in my stomach. I really hate being a girl sometimes, because I have to grudgingly admit that the feeling I'm always having these days has to do with that.

"Heh heh heh," Deidara snickers.

I glance at him. Aw, shit. Now he's gonna try and irritate me, and probably succeed.

I angle my feet out wide and lean forward with my elbows on my knees. Geez, I love how I, Mari Aiki Sui, out of all the girls in this godforsaken rich kid's school, ended up in this situation. A gang of dudes, most of them hot (I'm not naming names because then I would have to go kill my brain, but I am a female, okay?), constantly irritate me. Out of all the chicks, they chose me to harass. I mean, have I not spent my entire teenage life trying to be totally unapproachable? Most guys I've known up to now are scared of me, and they leave me alone as far as all that boy-girl crap.

I may be a chick, but I am not set up for that.

At all.

_Damn, why can't they just be scared of me? _

I look around at the guys in the car, to remind myself of who they are._ Oh, yeah. Because they're badass, hardcore gang members who fear nothing, and believe that when karma finally comes for them they'll just kick its ass like they kicked everyone else's. _

Figures. The one group of guys I can't scare off, are the only ones who won't leave me alone. Because always, either guys are scared off or they just don't like me because of my obnoxious personality. So, really, if I couldn't scare them off, surely they just wouldn't like me? Oh, but no! Because the universe fucking hates me. FML.

I wish I was still twelve years old and totally boobless. Not that I'm far from that now, but still…it was so much easier back then when I didn't have to deal with dumb crap like thi- _what the hell? _

I guess I was lost in thought, because I didn't notice until now the arm on my shoulders. Three guesses whose. I grab it and throw it back at its owner. "What the hell!"

Deidara snickers. "You totally paused, un!"

My face feels all hot. Oh, please God don't let me be blushing… "You wish, faggot!"

"You did! You lingered, un!"

Okay, I am blushing now. Dammit. "I-I didn't notice, man!"

"And now you're stuttering!" Deidara notices gleefully. "You want me, _don't_ you, un."

"Hell fucking no! That will NEVER fucking happen, dude!"

"Yes it will, un," he tells me diabolically.

Goddammit! My stomach needs to quit lurching! This is ridiculous! I roll my eyes. "You're delusional."

"And you're in denial, un."

"Sasori, switch me seats!" I say, turning to face him.

He regards me, face blank other than an indefinable sense of amusement. "Is Deidara bothering you, Mari?"

"Yes!" I snap. "Figured it out by now, huh?"

"Get used to it," Sasori advises me, turning away to look at the window.

"'Get used to it'?" I sputter indignantly. "What the hell!"

He of course doesn't answer. Faggot.

"Duuude…" I whine.

I get a great look at the back of Sasori's head.

"Thanks a lot," I mutter, turning back around to-

-be faced with two hand-tongues waggling at me.

"WHAT THE FUCK!" I shout, leaning away to prevent my face from being licked.

Deidara laughs out loud. "Your face, un!"

"You- what the- Dude!" I protest, still supremely freaked. "DUDE!"

"Scared you, huh?" he smirks.

"NO SHIT!" I give him a disgusted look. "Was that really necessary? Seriously?"

"No, but it was funny as hell, un!"

I stare at him for another couple of seconds, trying to get mad, but I can't get past what-the-hell. Then, I feel a laugh bubbling up. I slowly grin, before laughing out loud. "Bastard!" I snort.

"Told ya it was funny, un!"

I bite down on my hand to try and control my giggle fit. "You're an asshole!"

"Haven't we already established this, un?"

Finally I regain control of my laughter. "Whatever, man."

* * *

><p><strong>Alright, end of chapter! Kind of anticlimactic, but the next one will be chock-full of action and plot and humor! AND YES, ZETSU WILL FINALLY BE IN IT! Sorry it took so long, but I can't see a plant-dude walking around a high school and people being cool with it. Anyways, next chapter will also reveal Itachi's plannn! I'm sure several of you have already guess it despite my attempts to be "mysterious", but whatever. Also: Anyone who does fan art, I will make anything happen that you ask me to, as long as it doesn't go against the plot. I shit you not. I'll write it, even if it's as an omake. So, yeah, anyways, I love you guys, please review, and thanks for reading!<strong>

**-amy out**


	21. I'm Trying Here, Guys, I Really Am

**This has gotta be confusing for you guys, but this time I actually wrote stuff to post. Sorry. **

**Okay, last time I posted this I had exactly four and a half seconds to make up some crap to post, but now I have hours so I can a) give you a little more information and b) post omakes. :D So, as far as information: My life is fucking psychotic right now. It's all pretty interesting, but it's also none of your buisness, so as far as you nosy people out there, tough shit. As far as the fic, I've got some bad news: I've had the next chapter typed up and ready to go for months now. (Dodges flying objects) Unfortunately, I typed it on this little dinky laptop that has to be plugged in to internet to work so I can't even bring it to the library to use their wifi. And to top it all off, the laptop with the next chap on it is at my mom's, where i no longer live for reasons under that nonya-bidness category. I guess evantually I'll have to try and re-type it based on memory, but for now I'm content with writing little scenes from various future points of the fic that probably won't see the light of day until chapter 30. **

**Also, because my readers are AMAZING, they gave meh new fanart! Check it out:**

**DaPuddingz: dapuddingz(dot)deviantart(dot)com/art/Mari-Sui-290045623 **

**browse(dot)deviantart.(dot)com/?qh=§ion=&global=1&q=Mari+Sui#/d4tbkx9**

**Otanashi1262: browse(dot)deviantart(dot)com/?qh=§ion=&global=1&q=Mari+Sui#/d4waoyc**

**And another one by her, of Mari AND JOSEPH: browse(dot)deviantart(dot)com/?qh=§ion=&global=1&q=Mari+Sui#/d4wdk3q**

**and again, by blackcatgirl: .com/?qh=§ion=&q=tokyoblackcatgirl11#/d4v3wph**

**You. Guys. RULE!**

**You should still go read An Angel, A Devil, And the Akatsuki, and Freshmen,Puppies,WaywardGangs and Chocolate Liquor -because they're both just that damn badass.**

**She-teme: Eminem does NOT suck monkey ass, he's like the only mainstream artist that doesn't. So suck it.**

**I've posted a poll about this fic on my profile. Go vote, pur-lease.**

**Now -CUE OMAKES! Mostly comprising of Mari and Joseph flashbacks. All are based off real occurences. Have fun! Lyrics from If I Die Young by The Band Perry and Riot by Three Days Grace.**

* * *

><p><strong>(7th Grade)<strong>

**Mari**

As always, I fucking hate people. I'm kicked off the bus again. _Little bitches deserved it_, I think idly. Oh well, I'll just make Joseph take me-she actually calls a taxi every morning to get her doughnuts and drive her to school. I didn't even know our town HAD a taxi service. I chuck my heavy-as-hell backpack onto our couch and immediately go into the kitchen to raid my own fridge.

Shit fuck damn it to hell. We've nothing.

Well, it's written in the Mari Book of Life; when you're out of food, mooch some from your best friend. I jump on our laptop, because we happen to be in one of the sweet periods of time when the parental units have managed to pay for internet access, and IM Joseph. **Sup.**

**Hey.**

**Joseph.**

**Answer.**

**Now.**

**JOSEPH.**

**ANSWER.**

I'm typing up capital 'NOW' when I finally get her reply:

Godammit Mari, stop IMing me. You know it drives my ringtone crazy.

**So pick up the phone quicker next time.** She doesn't have internet at her house, just a phone that's hooked up to all her internet crap. **Anyways, I'm a fatass and I'm hungry. Feed me.**

Eat your own damn food.

**If I had any, would I be IMing u?**

Probably, just for the sake of bugging me.

**Whatever. Bring some food to the canyons.**

Hell yes, canyon party!

**Damn straight. Bring food and no man whores.**

It's a free fucking country.

**Damn you.**

Meet me at the gate to Sparta.

**You'd better bring food.**

Bossy, bossy.

I jump up to go put on my canyon clothes -cargoes instead of skinnies, a red T-shirt, and a baseball cap. I head out my back door, down the alley without telling anyone where I'm going. I answer to no one these days, and I like it better that way. I don't need anyone and I sure don't need people telling me what the hell to do.

Anyways, the canyons are what we call this huge valley that circles around our town with a little stream running through it. We've named various areas of it but I'm not going into the whole description. I'm also not going to tell you about all the crap we've done down there, it'd take too long. Long story short, The Canyons are where we go to test our badassness, thus the name "Sparta" for the first half-mile of it. "The Gate To Sparta" is just this giant, noisy pole across the canyon; that's where Sparta officially starts. "Utopia" is this awesome, peaceful-looking green meadow-like thing with lots of trees and the stream running through it -it's like the only place I feel peaceful. Ish.

Even though Joseph lives further from the canyons than I do, she's already at the Gate when I get there. _How the hell does she do that? _"So what happened to the man-whores?"

"They're getting their guns and lighters. We meet at Utopia."

My eyes light up. "Badass, man!"

"You're getting nowhere near either of them," she says calmly, throwing a bag of barbeque potato chips at me. "We don't need this place burnt down."

"I'll do what I want, Joseph!" I snap. "Stop telling everyone to not give me lighters, dude!"

She snorts. "I don't have to tell them, they already KNOW!"

I glare at her. "I'll still get one, man."

"Sure." She looks up at the sky. "So, what's the plan?"

I snort. "We don't need plans." Something occurs to me just then. I frown, cock a hip and point at Joseph. "Anyways, how come your man-whores are still coming? This place is sacred to crazy bitches and shit like that."

She gives me a skeptical look. "It's a free. Fucking. Country. Besides, this is the perfect place to like, _hardcore _make out with guys."

Awkward silence. Well, awkward on my part. Joseph is fully enjoying it. "Dude, we're thirteen."

"And?"

"Do you have to marr the badassness of Sparta-slash-Utopia by turning it into a makeout spot?"

"Yes."

I roll my eyes. Lately Joseph's been...odd. Odd as in saying things about boys that only the hardcore sluts used to in elementary school. She used to make fun of those girls. I guess she's growing up, or something. Whereas I-

Nope. Stop right there. Bad subject. I need a distraction, now. A dangerous one.

My eyes dart to the pole. Perfect.

"What are you planning?" Joseph asks me suspiciously. "You've got that look in your eyes..."

I grin evilly at her.

"Oh shit."

I laugh and head for the pipe, stepping on the hard rusted black pole heading away from the power plant and digging undernearth the dry earth.I walk slowly -slowly for me, that is- across the wide pole, arms outstretched, heart pounding.

"Mari, you fucking loony!" Joseph yells from behind. I look over my shoulder to see that she's jumped to her feet.

"You say that like it's a bad thing, man!" I laugh, exhilarated with the danger that grows with every passing step over the ravine that gets deeper and deeper as I walk. Right now it's about twenty feet from me to the ground -and yes, I look down. I _want _to be scared. I _want _to know how easily I can die.

Knowing how easily life can be snatched away, decimated, incinerated, gone in an instant, only makes you love it all the more.

Life's only precious because it ends.

"It IS a bad thing!" Joseph screeches over the sound of the (probably dangerous) gas running through the giant pole. "Do you _want _to die?"

"Only the badass die young, dude!" I scream. It's a thirty foot drop now, and the fear is mounting. Adrenaline and fear mixes, lighting my insides on fire. Everything I do is for the fire. But I'm almost halfway across, and the fear is almost tangible -I'm tempted to sit down and rest.

So I start to sing: "_If I die young, bury me in silence..."_

The song brings a smile to my lips. Accepting I could die makes me the master of fear, of death, even. (**A/N: ****Harry Potter Reference, yall. -amy out) **It's euphoric, exciting and almost peaceful at the same time.

_"Bury me in silence," _Not that there'd probably be much of a body to bury anyways. "_Lay me down on a bed of roses, sink me in the river at dawn, send me away with the words of a love song..."_

I skip to the stanza I like the best as I cross over the 3-foot drop in the middle of the pipe: _"And I'll be wearing white, as I come into your kingdom, I'm as green as the ring on my mommas third finger..." _There's no way those are the real lyrics. "_I've, never known to love another man but it sure felt nice when he was holding my hand..."_

"Mari, what the hell is wrong with you?" Joseph shouts.

"NO HESITIATION, BITCH! _There's a, boy here in town, says he'll love me forever, who woulda thought forever could be severed by the sharp knife of a short liiiiiiiiife?"_

I grin wider. "_I've had just enough time!"_

**Joseph**

"Goddammit, Mari!" I shout. She either ignores me or doesn't hear me. GUess which one I'm betting on.

"The sharp knife of a short liiiife!" the maniac sings.

I scowl. For one thing, it's weird enough that she starts singing at random-ass times like she's in a Disney movie or something, without it being some corny country song. I mean, really, _country? _She knows I hate it. That's probably why she's singing it. Grr.

And I swear, she _wants _to die young. It's damn windy today, and if she falls, that's it, show's over, bye-bye birdy. Dead Mari on top of dead Mom to deal with. But damn, this is one of those times when I take a step back and realize that Mari's got balls. Of steel. The way she jumps straight into any challenge, any danger, with no hesitation...

And I'm still here, on the safe ground, watching my best friend tackle fear and win victoriously, again. Watching her prove that she really is a fearless Spartan warrior chick, which we've always said both of us are. Watching. From behind. As she goes first. And I'm behind, wondering if I'll follow again. It's an occupational hazard of having a best friend who doesn't have a "slow" speed, whose motto is "Never slow down" (as far as I can tell): you end up not being able to keep up from time to time. And then I start to feel that sinking feelingthat between the two of us, Mari might be more Spartan than I am.

I dig my black-polished nails into the palm of my head, trying to force down my creeping jealousy as I start the walk over the pole. I can't let anyone be better than me. Especially Mari. I couldn't stand her playful teasing afterward, even if I don't think she knows how much it bothers me.

Mari hates to be beaten. So do I, but only at things I care about. If Mari was a better runner than me, I wouldn't give a rat's ass. But Mari does. _Everything _is a competition to her. But she's not really good at things, at least, not things people compete at.

I am. _But what does that matter? _I think as I try to force down the panic, walking across the pole toward my cheering friend. _Stupid little school competitions, grades, all that crap- what does it mean? Courage means so much more. Raw toughness. Insanity. _

That nameless thing in your gut that makes you not back down; that's what's important. I have that, in a bundance, but I use more sneaky means to acheive my ends, generally. Mari fac es the enemy head-on, grinning psychotically, no fear, no hesistation, hardly ever. So what if she loses sometimes? Or even aften? She still had the balls to DO it!

I force myself to let go of the growing jealousy in my gut as I pass the middle of the ravine. After all, people are equally scared of me as they are of Mari, and although she's better at some things, I'm better at others. We both have our strengths and weaknesses, that's just life.

And besides. I _did_ cross the pole, just like Mari.

_But only after she did, _a small voice whispers.

**Mari**

Deep down, there are only a few things I really fear. One of them is that I might be left behind -that I'll never be known as anything more than an oddball, that I'll always be a reject. Watching from the sidelines while someone else takes the gold.

So how infuriating do you think it is to be best friends with someone who seems to basically get the gold in life itself, while I'm just the all-around screw-up? How come eveything is so damn effortless to her? Joseph _knows _things. How to hunt, how to shoot a gun, how to track animal prints, how to kill people with a knife. I don't nkow shit about shit.

And there's just something about Joseph, this aura of her being quietly dangerous. Although come to think of it, she's rarely quiet, but anyways, the observation still stands. She has the aura of a silent assassin that makes poeple respect her, an aura I could never posess. That just ain't how I ROLL.

I shouldn't get so jealous. Joseph's hands-down the coolest person I know. We're like the leaders of our group of rebels (Think of the Mauraders, but girls. Herrry Potter nerds UNITE), Mari and Joseph, The Agent of Chaos and The Silent Assassin, us against the world! If it wasn't for her I would've gone insane long ago. Jealousy doesn't play a big role in our friendship, it's more like creeping up on us -or, me, at least. Bit by bit.

Sometimes I wish there was a switch I could flip and turn that feeling off, of inadequacy and inferiority. But that's the thing about being a screw-up. It never goes away.

_Still though, _ I think -as she finishes her venture across the pole and chews me out for being "borderline suicidal" and we head out for Utopia- _We have each other's backs, and that's all that matters. _

Nothing lasts forever in life, but every once in a while you'll come across a person willing to go down to the bitter end with you. And when you find a person like that, you shouldn't let anything come between you.

* * *

><p><strong>Well, that was pretty cheesy, not to mention a whole lot more thinking than I planned. But seventh grade is the whole insecurity-phase of finding yourself and shit like that, so I guess this is pretty accurate.<strong>

**Anyways. Onto the next Omake/Flashback/Totally Random Dialogue Thing:**

* * *

><p><strong>(8th Grade)<strong>

**Mari**

"I only wanna go out with, like, super-fucking-manly guys," Joseph tells me animatedly as we eat our lunch. "Like, all muscles and macho, with guns and shit, and a beard, and a fucking MOHAWK-"

By now I'm laughing my ass off. She goes on: "With peircings all over, and oh yeah! At least five tatoos the size of my hand."

"A _beard?" _ I choke out.

She nods. "There HAS to be a motherfucking beard."

I don't agree with Joseph in the subject of boys, but she's fun as hell to listen to.

She suddenly laughs. "I'm so demanding. Hey, Max!" She says, looking at her boyfriend -or, at least, the person I've most recently seen her making out with. "Grow a beard, get your face peirced, get at least nineteen tattoos, and a bunch of guns, and make it snappy!"

Max is used to this by now and just nods.

Just then I notice another kid at our table, Daniel, is doing milkshake time WITH HIS STRAWBERRIES. (Milkshake time is our daily ritual of pouring the scraps of our school lunch together and daring each other to eat it.) "Oh hell no! You did not just waste strawberries!" I say angrily, then decide 'what the hell' and pour my milk into it.

Daniel moves it so it spills on his tray. Joseph snorts with laughter.

I grin. "Oops."

Without a word he shoves the whole thing at me, makking a huge mess of my tray.

"You bastard!" I shove my whole tray at him.

He shoves it back.

By now Joseph can hardly breathe. "Hell yeah, food fight! DO IT NOW!"

_Let's start a riot!_

_A Riot!_

_Let's start a riot!_

It probably would've morphed into a full-fledged food fight if I didn't see the cafeteria monitors glaring at us just then. I really can't get in any more trouble, I literally am one office referral away from getting expelled.

I glare at Daniel. "It's your fault, you clean this shit up." Then I go to put up my tray.

When I come back, Daniel is mopping up our milk/strawberry mess, and Joseph is glaring at the back of some guy's head.

I watch her to see how long she continues doing it. She has the murder-about-to-take-place calm look in her eyes.

She finally turns to me and says, "I could snap his neck right fucking now," all calm.

"Who?"

"Michael."

I look over at Michael, who is a little shrimp, and deduce that indeed, she could totally devour his ass. "Is he the dude who I attacked with a chainsaw?"

She starts laughing again. "Yeah!"

"Why do you wanna-"

"Because he was like my best friend and spread all this crap about me around."

"Oh." I look down at my backpack.

She sees this. "Dude! Bash him with your backpack like you did yesterday!"

Aw damn. "No, dude-"

"Just do it, it'll be so badass-"

"No, cuz it'll be taking orders-" I try to explain to her why if someone tells me to I can't really do it on my own.

"It's not taking orders, just bash the hell out of him!"

So I do. Joseph laughs her ass off. Of course he doesn't do jackshit about it -he knows he can't, anyways.

* * *

><p><strong>(8th Grade)<strong>

"Mari..."

I slide my head around on Joseph's kitchen table to be able to see her better. "Yeah?"

"Do you remember the _one _thing I asked you not to do in the canyons?" she asks, rubbing her temples like she's stressed out. Which, given the circumstances, she probably is.

"...I may or may not remember that..." I mutter.

"What _was _that thing?" she asks me.

"...not to start any fires."

"And what did you do?"

"...I started a fire anyways."

"And _what happened?" _she hisses.

I pause, look away, and admit, "Well, a patch of grass is dead."

"Mari you stupid dumbass!" she finally explodes. "Why the HELL would you light a peice of DRY grass on fire, on a very FUCKING windy day, within thirty feet of a goddamn NATURAL GAS PLANT?"

"Well, gee, when you say it like that-"

"You almost blew the entire town up, you dumb. Ass. Mother. Fucking. Bitch!"

"So what, man?" I reply defensively. "I hate this town!"

"Me and Kai live here," she reminds me.

"Oh, yeah."

"Besides, now you're probably gonna be on juvenille probation," she gripes at me. "Nice work."

There's a short silence.

"Like _you _never wanted to burn down a feild."

"_I _wouldn't have gotten caught."

* * *

><p><strong>Well that was damn random. <strong>

**I'm out of ideas. I hope it was at least kinda funny, and not a total waste of time.**

**-Amy out!**


	22. In Which Shit Gets Serious

**FUCKING FINALLY, am I right? Feel free not to review at all if you don't want to, I'll totally deserve it. D: On the bright side, though, once this is posted I have tons already written out, so you can expect updates to pick back up. Not as often as they were before, but they'll be relatively regular now.**

**Lyrics from Dance With The Devil by Breaking Benjamin.  
><strong>

**Also, I feel like I could possibly make this a little better -some of the transitions are a little awkward- but I'm about as ready for the story to move on as I'm betting all of you are. So, sorry if suck levels increase a bit on this chapter.  
><strong>

**And guess what? Someone drew MORE fan art! http:/speckitra. deviantart. com/#/d4yg8rj You're awesome, man, I love your face. Just remove the spaces.  
><strong>

**Anyways, enough of my bullshit- enjoy!  
><strong>

* * *

><p>"I'm gonna win."<p>

"Five packets each, right?"

"I'm gonna fucking win."

It's Monday night -yes, the Monday after the horrible, FML-filled day- and Kai's asleep. Me and Joseph are amusing ourselves with a friendly competition; namely, seeing who can hold five packets of Splenda No-Calorie sweetener in their mouths the longest.

I've hooked up my iPod to the TV speaker, on my Breaking Benjamin play list:

_So say goodbye_

_As we dance with the devil tonight_

_Don't you dare look at him in the eyes,_

_As we dance with the devil tonight._

"You ready?" Joseph asks me.

"Hell yeah I'm ready. I'm gonna fucking win, man!"

"Yeah, you've said that like eight times already. Shut up already."

"Fuck you!"

"Fuck your mom. Line em' up-"

We do, tearing off the tops in one swipe.

"Ready? One- two- thr-"

"Wait wait wait!" I snort, suddenly overtaken by a random fit of giggles.

"Bitch!" she snaps.

"Okay okay! Sorry, man," I apologize, getting my laughter back under control. "For real this time. One, two, seven!"

We throw our heads back and shake the packets , pouring their contents into our mouths. Within seconds my mouth is full of nasty, sickly sweet saliva full of dissolved Splenda.

_Nasty shit!_

The contest goes on for about three minutes until Joseph _finally _gags and spits her mouthful out onto the carpet.

I look down to confirm that she's done. I throw my hands up into the air in victory. "I WON!"

Then I go down to practically throwing up next to her.

I shoot back up: "I FUCKING WON!"

And right back to throwing up.

"This shit's so nasty!" Joseph laughs, spitting more.

"Totally!" I laugh. "Splenda sucks to eat plain, but I told you so, I WO- oh, God-"

I make a break for the kitchen sink, washing my mouth out, being followed swiftly by Joseph.

Five minutes later we waltz back into the living room, laughing and making fun of each other.

"Yes, Mari, I know, _you won," _Joseph interrupts me. "God damn, girl, you'd think you won the Olympics or something."

"Jealous."

"You know something-"

Suddenly Joseph's eyes go wide, fixed on a point above and behind me. "Holy shit!" she screeches, pointing to the wall.

I sneer at her. "Not falling for that one again, _Joseph-chan." _We have this kind of personal contest where we try to make the other one turn around to look at nothing. I usually fall for it, but not today!

"No, Mari, I'm fucking serious, look!"

"Nice try," I smirk.

She gives me an exasperated look, which then slowly morphs into the small smile I've come to associate with the utmost deception. "Have it your way, then, _Mari-chan."_

"_Fuck _your damn reverse psychology, I'm not looking!" I cross my arms, glaring at her stubbornly.

"Oh by all means -don't look behind you."

"_You _are _relentless," _I mutter, sitting cross-legged and grabbing my nearly flat can of Dr. Pepper and chugging the rest.

While I'm chugging I see in my peripheral vision Joseph jumping up and lunging for my iPod. By the time I've crushed my can good and tight she's selected a new song:

"_Every time we lie awake_

_After every hit we take_

_All the feelings that I get_

_But I still don't miss you yet…"_

I raise an eyebrow at Joseph, silently asking why she changed the song. She just grinned and shrugged.

Whatever. We're random. I can roll with it.

I throw my can at Joseph -she dodges. Bitch.- and then start to sing along: "_Only when I stop to think about it…I! Hate! Everything about you!"_

Joseph's eyes keep darting behind me. Still trying to get me to look, huh? Not gonna happen. I sing louder: "_Why do I love you?_

_I Hate Everything about you!"_

Now Joseph's just laughing. "You really not gonna turn around?"

"Damn straight, man!"

"Well, that certainly makes my job easier."

_What the- _

I finally turn around just in time to see Sasori's apathetic face, a split second before his hands dart out and something fabric wraps around my eyes. I immediately go to yank it off, but then he grabs my wrists.

_Oh HEYELL no! _I start to thrash around -the kid's shorter than I am, I can get him off me- but he doesn't fight the way I'm used to. He uses my own momentum against me until I end up turned around with my hands behind me, and only seconds later cold metal clamps around my wrists that can only be handcuffs.

Okay, look, in my defense, there usually isn't anybody there, alright?

"What the hell's the matter with you, man?" I screech.

"Hello, Mari," Sasori greets me calmly as he forces me to my knees with my back to him. "If you don't mind, you have somewhere to be tonight."

"Damn right I mind! Get the hell off!" But with my hands cuffed and my ankle broken, there's not a lot I can do in the area of resistance.

"Untie Mari you son of a bitch!" Joseph shouts.

"I'm afraid I can't do that," Sasori answers, sounding not even remotely apologetic. "It's protocol."

"FUCK PROTOCOL, YOU DIRTY BASTARD!"

I hear him kneel down beside me. "As is this," he purrs into my ear as he ties a gag around my mouth as well.

Too close. He is way too close, especially with me being so entirely incapacitated. I tense up, especially on my left shoulder where his chin is resting. I'm also attempting to scream, but since it's all muffled it's a moot point anyways.

Luckily he quickly ends the contact, standing up and drawing me back to my feet. "Now I know this is a rather unorthodox mode of transportation," he tells me in his odd, apathetic voice, "but it's just for show. This is a test, to see how well you can keep your head in a stressful situation."

Stressful situation. STRESSFUL SITUATION? A "stressful situation" is when your in-laws won't stop fighting over the flavor of your wedding cake. A "stressful situation" is when you're overworked and then suddenly have to declaw kittens. Getting jumped, blindfolded, handcuffed and gagged within a minute and a half within your _own home _goes WAY beyond a GD stressful SITUATION!

But since I'm gagged, all I do is go, "MMH MMH mmmhh mmh MMH!"

"The thing you need to remember is that as long as you don't do anything stupid, you have my word that you will get out of this unharmed."

"Mmh mmh MMH." Because I'm really gonna believe him, under the circumstances, he seems really trustworthy.

"Now, the handcuffs and blindfold must remain," he goes on, and I hate, hate, _hate _how powerless I am as he gently tugs on the handcuffs, "but the gag may be removed. So. Would you like me to remove the gag?"

You know damn well I want you to take the gag off. I nod.

"And you won't scream."

Damn right I'll scream, but he doesn't need to know that. I shake my head.

"I am going to remove the gag from your mouth," he says slowly, "and you are not to make a sound. Do you understand?"

Oh FUCK YOU.

"Do you understand?" he asks again.

I nod.

The gag is removed.

See, the smart thing to do would be quiet, so I could regain at least a small amount of control over the situation, even a microscopic part. I could've tried to be calm and stuff, and give myself a chance to better my situation.

But then, I wouldn't be me. "GO TO FUCKING HELL YOU GINGER ASSW-"

The gag is quickly put back on, leaving my shrieks of anger sounding muffled and ridiculous.

"Foolish girl."

Alright, who the hell in this world uses words like 'foolish'? Goddamn.

"Stop where you are!"

I grin under the gag. "Joseph my man!" I try to say, but of course can't, as per the gag. I'll bet you anything Joseph went to go get her battle ax-

I hear a gun being cocked.

Ooh. Even better. I love that girl.

"Step away from my friend or die," Joseph growls.

To my horror, Sasori not only doesn't let go of me, but he lets out a small chuckle. "Did you check the cartridge?"

"Of course I did."

"Really." I feel shuffling, then the sound of Joseph gasping. "Because I could've sworn these were all you had."

"How -you- what the fuck-"

"Now, I don't like to wait," Sasori goes on smoothly, "or keep others waiting, so I'll wrap this up quickly. There's no need for such hostility. Mari will come to no harm tonight -in fact, she's being handed an astounding opportunity. She'll be back within two hours."

"I'm going with her, then."

"How noble," Sasori retorts dryly, "but that isn't going to happen." More shuffling, and a gun being cocked -but not by Joseph. From behind. I'm assuming it's Sasori. (Not being able to see is a BITCH.) "She'll be back soon."

"You guys had better not fucking touch her!" Joseph hisses. I feel sorry for her. The self-proclaimed weapons master, outgunned by one guy, watching her best friend be kidnapped and not able to do shit about it? Damn her life sucks.

"Oh, please," I hear Sasori say as I'm being steered toward the front door. "You'd think you didn't trust me."

* * *

><p>Fuck my life.<p>

Here I am, no longer blindfolded or gagged but still handcuffed, sitting in the middle of this dark room. I have no fucking idea what's going on or why; all I know is I can't see shit.

"Well, this is just fucking peachy," I mutter to myself. "Yeah, because you guys couldn't POSSIBLY just bring me to some well-lit room to wait for whatever the hell it is I'm supposed to be waiting for, could you? God dammit! FUCK you guys!"

I cross my legs, sitting Indian-style. "And what is with these damn handcuffs! Come on! Seriously, man, NOT COOL!"

Either I'm in a room by myself, or whoever's sitting in here watching me is quiet as hell.

_Let's just hope option number one is correct, _I think grimly as I let myself flop onto the floor. I need space to do this.

_Why do I have to be so goddamned tall? _I think as I try to evolve into a higher species capable of slipping a leg through my arms while they're behind my back. I don't know any special techniques on how to do this, but surely I can just slip my legs through my arms, and that will cause my arms to be in front of me rather than behind me, right? After much fiddling and thinking that there's no way I didn't just dislocate my shoulder, I manage to slip my right leg through the handcuffs. The left leg would be much easier than the first if it wasn't for the broken ankle. "OW!" I say loudly as I nudge it and make it throb.

Fucking yay. Even if I somehow manage to get these stupid cuffs off, I won't be able to run.

I blow up a burst of air toward my forehead, making my bangs flutter up into the air. I guess I'm just gonna have to hope that Sasori meant what he said earlier.

I stand up, with much deliberation might I add, putting my cuffed arms ahead of me, planning to look for the walls and see if I can find some kind of light switch.

Instead I run into a person. I jump back as much as one can with one disabled foot. "Who are you?"

"Uncuff her," the body says solemnly.

Someone grabs my hands and starts messing with them. Instinctively I jerk back.

"Don't you want these things off, un?"

"Deidara?" I ask incredulously.

"No shit. Stand still, un."

I scowl, but allow him to unlock the bracelets, feeling a tangible sense of violation, for some reason. I jerk my hands away from him immediately, rubbing my arms and scowling.

Someone turns the lights on, and I blink to get an idea of what's going on-

There's like ten people in here.

"…Shit," I mutter. I see that I'm in some kind of office-type-thing-place-whatever, there's a desk and two chairs. _I feel like I'm in the principal's office._

"Please, sit down," says the guy I bumped into as he sits behind the desk. I take a better look at him and see his hair's bright orange, and he has tons of piercings all over his face.

I give him a suspicious look and sit down in one of the chairs. "Are you gonna tell me what this is about? Because that would be just great."

The orange-haired man stares at me for a second. "Would you care for a soda?"

"…what the hell?"

He pushes a Sprite toward me over the desk, and I have no idea where it came from. "A soda."

I give him a 'you're kidding, right?' look. "No. Why'd you kidnap me?"

"What do you have against soda?" the dude asks me calmly.

"Nothing, I just…why do you want me to drink soda so much?" I ask, getting more and more irritated by the second.

"I don't. I just thought it would be courteous."

What the hell? "_Courteous? _You guys just fucking kidnapped me!"

"All the more reason to be polite now," he says solemnly.

"If you want to be polite, could you please answer my question as to why you kidnapped me?"

"Why should I be polite to you when you won't even accept my gift?"

"Huh?"

"I am offering you a beverage as a gift, and you are rejecting it. It is an enormous insult to reject another's generosity."

"It's an enormous insult to KIDNAP someone!"

"Well, it's a policy of mine to be courteous to captives."

I take a deep breath. "I wouldn't _be _a captive," I say slowly, "if you hadn't _kidnapped _me."

"Well, we did, so why not enjoy a soda in the mean-"

"OH my god!" I interrupt him and take the soda, pop the top off it, and chug until it's gone. I take a deep breath and crush the can, putting it back on the desk. "Thank you, O mysterious stranger, for the enormous kindness of treating your captive to a Sprite. Now why the hell did you kidnap me?"

A ghost of a smile shows on Mysterious Stranger's face and I hear slight snickering from surrounding gang members. "Very well. The reason we brought you here is because you have made the cut to be accepted into the Akatsuki."

…

…

…

Holy fucking shit. WHAT did he just say?

I could swear the world just stopped turning.

I open my mouth, close it, open it again, and then close it again, before choking out: "Uh…WHAT?"

He goes on as if I hadn't said anything. "Yes. It will be a trainee position, and your membership will not be fully active until after your-"

"Whoa whoa whoa, wait a minute here," I interrupted, earning a glare. "I never agreed-"

"Don't, un." I heard a quiet voice from my right say.

I looked up to see Deidara standing there, an unreadable expression on his face. "Huh?"

"Just…don't," he says again, shaking his head slightly.

"Whaddaya mean, 'don't'?" I ask incredulously. "I don't want to join the Akatsuki, are you kidding me?"

"Oh?" Mysterious-Stranger asks/says.

"Hell yeah!" I snap heatedly, glaring at him. "I'm not joining your dumb club, I've got my own shit going on! Besides, I hate you guys. No way in hell, man."

"…I'm sorry," Orange-Head says. His tone of voice is the same as always, but there's something more lethal in the atmosphere now, that I can't quite define. "I think we have a misunderstanding. You seem to be under the impression that I am giving you a choice in the matter."

My jaw drops slightly. Oh. No. He. DIDN'T! He goes on: "That is incorrect. I have decided to recruit you, Mari Sui, as a trainee into the Akatsuki, and that is what I will do."

"Oh really," I say, glaring at him. "That's stupid. I wouldn't be a good gang member, man."

"Itachi and I have decided that indeed you would, else this recruitment would not be taking place."

"Well I -wait, _Itachi? _What's Weasel Dick got to do with this?" I ask heatedly.

Mysterious Stranger raises an eyebrow. "Itachi was the one who proposed your recruitment in the first place."

My eyes widen and I look around the room, finding Itachi to be standing to my left. "I fucking hate you, man!" I hiss at him.

He stares back at me emotionlessly.

Ignoring him I turn back to Mysterious Stranger. "So, you're going to force me to join your gang."

"Yes," he nods.

I narrow my eyes. "And what if I refuse?"

Okay, get this: the prick _chuckles! _I know, right! "I thought I already made it clear that your preferences matter very little."

"What if I refuse to cooperate? What happens then?" I challenge.

He looks thoughtful. "Well. Sasori would activate the drug he planted in the soda, causing you to lose consciousness. After that…who knows."

I don't think I could look any more outraged if I tried. "You -you -You _drugged _me!"

"All indications would point to that, yes." God damn smug asshole.

"What the hell, man?" I hiss angrily. I can't believe this! I KNEW it was weird that he was offering me a Sprite!

"Would you like to reconsider your position?" he asks calmly.

I glare at him in answer, trying to think of something, anything, to say or do that will get me out of this. My mind draws a blank. If they've drugged me, for the time being I can't do shit about it. So I'll just have to try and talk him out of recruiting me. "You oughta reconsider yours. You guys are this badass, hardcore gang, right?"

"Fuck yeah!" Hidan shouts from the sidelines.

We ignore him.

Pimp-Leader nods. (That's what I'm gonna call him until I get his real name, I decided this four seconds ago.)

I go on: "Well, I'm not like that. I'm not a hardass, emotionless, killing psychopath. I'm Christian, for fuck's sake, I don't believe in that shit, man. I'd just be a liability."

(By the way, Hidan started ranting about Jashin and my being a shitty Christian as soon as I mentioned it, but we're not going into that.)

Pimp-Leader looks at me thoughtfully. "Is that all?"

Dammit, I thought that was all I'd need. But, after all, one of the things I've always been good at was debate. "No. Also, isn't it like, if I join this thing, it's for life? No back-outs?"

"Exactly."

"That's not gonna work," I continue. "I got other shit I wanna do in life besides being a gangbanger. I wanna make the world better -fuck off, Hidan, not everyone's an asshole like you-"

"HEY!"

I continue: "And besides, I got a baby brother I have to take care of. And even if you force me to join this gang-deal-thing, nothing's ever going to come before him, man."

Pimp Leader says again: "Is that all?"

You gotta be kidding me. I rack my brains, but I can't think of any other reason. "Uh, that's about it, I guess."

"Very well." Pimp Leader nods. "I'm sorry to burst your bubble, Mari, but nothing you've said has made you less of a candidate. In fact, it's made me certain you have potential."

Of course it did. If this made sense, it wouldn't be real life. "You're on crack," I deadpan. "What part of any of that screams, 'future killer gang member' to you?"

"None of it," Pimp Leader says calmly, like we're talking about the weather or something stupid like that. "But the ideal member of the Akatsuki is not a psychotic, moral-less killer."

My jaw drops. "Then how the hell d'you explain Hidan?"

"I said _ideal,_" Pimp Leader explains. "Hidan is not ideal, but he is close enough for our purposes."

"Hey, assholes! I'm standing right fucking here!" Hidan reminds us.

Pimp Leader goes on. "The ideal Akatsuki member is capable of killing, but does not enjoy it. We as a gang do not kill for fun, but for a reason. Although if our members happen to enjoy it along the way, that's not exactly a problem."

Someone's been drinking the crazy juice.

"The world is a corrupt place," Pimp Leader goes on. "The law can no longer be trusted to keep justice and order. And even if it could, order in itself is a form of oppression. The Akatsuki is the solution: we hand out justice and protection to those who need it. We _will _provide peace, by whatever means necessary."

Holy shitdick, this guy's nuts. "You're out of your mind, man!" I say, trying to keep calm. "Setting yourself up to be the judge of this kinda shit -that's nothing but evil!"

Pimp Leader looks at me again, closes his eyes, and sighs. "You said you wanted to make the world better, Mari. That is what we are doing. Do you really trust the system to be able to protect people of this world?"

I open my mouth to protest, but at the last second I stop. I look down for a moment, then back at Pimp Leader. "No. I don't. But this isn't the answer, man!"

"You will have much time in the future to debate the Akatsuki's philosophy. In fact, I look forward to the challenge. But for the time being, you are now a member of the Akatsuki whether you like it or not."

I bite my tongue to keep from screaming cuss words at the man. No one controls Mari Sui, no one!

"However, since you are at the present time injured," he goes on -as if it's all settled, lah tee dah!- "you will not be initiated into the Akatsuki until your ankle heals. I suggest you spend the next three weeks finding a new living situation for your brother."

"NO!" I say immediately. "He stays with me, dude!"

Pimp Leader raises an eyebrow. "You are now going to be living among the Akatsuki. Do you really think that is a suitable environment for a young child?"

"He's safer with me than anywhere else!" I declare heatedly, glaring at Pimp Leader. "Why can't I just stay at my house, man?" Dammit, I sounded whiny. Stop it, Mari, you've already showed enough weakness.

"Because the Akatsuki needs to be ready to mobilize at the drop of a hat," he explains immediately. "If we live within one household, that is easier…but I think we may be able to compromise," he says suddenly, catching me off guard. "Are you adamant about staying with your brother?"

"Damn straight!"

"Very well. The Akatsuki shall move headquarters into your home."

That takes a couple seconds to sink in. "WHAT!"

"Or, we go with the original plan," he says, somewhat smugly.

I glare at him. Even though the handcuffs are gone, my hands are tied and we all know it.

"Very well. There are other details needing to be settled, but that can wait. For now, meet the rest of the Akatsuki."

I glare at him as he points toward the members in turn. "Hidan, Kakuzu, Kisame, Itachi, Deidara, Sasori, Tobi, Zetsu, and Konan. I will be known to you as Leader."

I look at the last two, the only ones I haven't met yet. Konan isn't freaky, she's a nice-looking girl with blue hair who smiles at me.

Zetsu, however, is a different matter altogether.

I don't think he's human.

Actually, I'm _positive _he's not. First off, half his skin is white and half is black, like some kinda Oreo. But freakier than that, is that he seems to be living in a plant.

"Uh…hi, man," I manage.

"It's not polite to stare,** so keep on staring so we'll have an excuse to eat you." **Zetsu says in two different voices.

I nod, more freaked out than scared. Trust me, there is a difference. "They seem nice."

I hear Leader chuckle. "Yes, well, Zetsu is forbidden to eat fellow Akatsuki, so you may rest easy."

"Yeah, because he seems like he'll be the kind to follow orders, man," I say casually.

Plant-Boy chuckles. "I assure you, we will not eat you. **Unless you provoke us.**"

"That's good to know, dude."

It's a good thing I've spent my entire life dealing with danger -_looking _for it, in fact- because now I can seem relatively calm in the face of a cannibalistic plant man. Because I may seem chill enough to joke, but on the inside I'm freaking out like a son of a bitch. **LET ME THE HELL OUT OF HERE AWAY FROM THESE FUCKING NUTJOBS!**

Shut up, me.

Holy shit. It seems Logica is in charge of my body now. Huh. Nice to know my personality can switch between two extremes to match the occaision.

I take a glance at Plant-Boy. At least I won't be alone in that department.

So, yeah, I take the rest of the next ten minutes relatively calmly. Usually I'd be freaking out of my ever-loving mind, but I'm on autopilot now. I'm sarcastic, but that's about it. Even when it's decided that a different member for the next three weeks will be assigned to live at our house, to make sure I don't try to make a run for it, and Deidara volunteers to take the first turn, I manage not to freak out.

It's not until I get into the car to drive home that I turn back into myself.

**Itachi**

_Well, that went better than expected, _Itachi thought as he watched Mari calmly leave the hideout.

He had to admit, he expected her to blow up and do something stupid. Mari's main personality trait, as he'd so far observed, was hotheaded, followed closely by independent and proud. So when she was told she was going to be forced to join the Akatsuki, he expected her to freak out and it be required that Sasori's drug be activated. In fact he was getting more and more surprised at her logical reaction. Despite himself he started to feel something akin to approval; the main reason against her being an Akatsuki was her temper. If she wasn't as easily provoked as he'd originally thought, perhaps-

"YOU MOTHER FUCKERS ARE OUT OF YOUR SHITTY MINDS IF YOU THINK I'M GONNA-"

Itachi resisted the urge to roll his eyes as Sasori pressed the button, silencing the always-vocal Mari from her spirited protest.

For the second time in a week, Itachi should've known better.

* * *

><p><strong>MWAH HA HA HA! Yayness. Much funny will await, as well as angst, action, and yes, romance. But mainly funny.<strong>

**Sasori was kind of a creeper in this chapter, but how badass, huh?**

**And before anyone even says anything, yes, Pein did originally assign the job of bringing Mari to be recruited to Itachi. However, Sasori ended up doing it instead (mainly decided upon by BlackCatGirl, who gave me the awesome idea do have more Sasori-Mari interaction in the story.)**

**Love you guys, please review, sorry for the epic long-ass wait, and thanks for reading!**

**-amy out**


	23. The Placebo Effect

**First off: SUMMERTIME! Can I get a HELL YEAH! I got out today. There's actually a kind of funny story about my last day in DAEP (which is basically detention school for fuckups like me), but since it's too long and not _that _hilarious, I'm omitting it. I hope that summer means I'll be able to update more, but since there's basically zero stability in my life as of now I can't make any promises. Sorry, guys!**

**Blackcatgirl, this has nothing to do with anything, but today I watched Taladega Nights and, since I'm such a loser everything has to do with my friends or the internet and people I've met there, from now on you and Tenshi are linked forever in my mind with that French guy I forget the name of who totally pwned the shit out of Ricky Bobby. Watch the movie (if you haven't already) and you'll get it.**

**Also, I can't _believe _how romance-centered this fic has gotten, especially this chapter. I want it to be mainly humor and action, but it kinda took on a life of its own. Oh, well, the point is I enjoy reading about humor and banter more than mush, so that's what I'll be writing most of. Honestly when it comes to the Akatsuki and romance I just don't think the two mix well in general. And yet here I am...nevermind. Anyways, I hope you like!**

**Lyrics from Poison by Alice Cooper.**

* * *

><p><strong>Deidara<strong>

Why couldn't he have been assigned to "keep an eye" on a _normal _girl?

In all honesty, when he'd heard that a member of a delinquent gang was wanted to spend three nights at a younger girl's house where there were no adults in order to make sure she didn't try and escape, he'd volunteered because it sounded like a porn scenario. I.e., the cocky, suave, James Bond-ish male star (Deidara) would slink into the curvy, sexy, innocent, school-girl-ish female star's bedroom at night, saying he had to make sure she didn't try and sneak out at night. Then the girl would say something stupid, then he'd climb into the bed-

Deidara had seen his share of pornos; he knew how it went.

Of course, if he'd thought much more about it, he would've realized that he wasn't exactly what you'd call 'suave'. (He was _way _cooler than suave.) And Tough Gil was pretty much the complete opposite of most porno girls. But anyways, even if the porno thing wasn't gonna happen, was it _unthinkable _for there even to be the _possiblity_ of Deidara getting some action?

Or in the very least, was it so absurd to think he wouldn't be randomly assaulted by these girls constantly?

He expected it from Tough Girl, but he'd gotten the impression Joseph wasn't...as likely to hit him on the head with a club as soon as he walked into the door carrying an unconscoius Mari, and then proceed to scream at him for -for some godforsaken reason- participating in a _gang rape_?

And he'd been under the impresssion that Danna had told Joseph what was going on.

Well, Crazy Bitch mellowed considerably after he'd explained a little more about why they'd kidnapped Tough Girl, and even laughed a little when he got to the part about her being drugged into unconsciousness.

In fact, Deidara might've thought she was alright, had it not been for the pounding headache and bump on the side of his head.

"Well, thanks for not dumping her in an alley or anything," Joseph had told him, laughing like they were old friends. "I've decided that the two of you are gonna be going out soon, and that would've put me back a few steps."

Deidara quickly re-evaluated his opinion of her. "Is that so, un."

"Yep," Joseph had answered contentedly. "You're welcome."

"For _what?" _

"I'm gonna hook you up with her -_duh," _Crazy Bitch had told him impatiently. "You _do _like her, don't you?"

Deidara shrugged. "I don't know. Sure, un." _Mostly I just like pissing her off, _he told himself as he did many times lately, since the subject was vaugely confusing; but that he just thought she looked funny when she was pissed made sense. Yeah, that was it.

"You will," she told him, grinning slyly. The fact of her holding a heavy metal mace at the time only improved the overall effect. "But anyways. You shall sleep on ze couch," she declared, spontaneously aquiring some accent. _Italian? _"And now, I must bring thees yound woman - YONDAH!" she declared, pointing at their attic bedroom.

Crazy bitch.

Well, it was the next morning now. Deidara's head stil hurt -he was positive he had some kind of huge-ass bruise- and was now contemplating ways to both irritate Tough Girl and get back at Crazy Bitch. His back was all sore from sleeping on the couch, and plus, he could still see the bright pink stain from the _last _time he'd slept there.

Deidara was too irritated and tired to think of a good plan for bothering them. He decided just to wake them up and demand breakfast.

That'd bother anybody.

He got up, streatched, strolled into the hallway and yanked on the cord which usually pulled the collapsible stairs-ladder-thing to the floor, allowing the puller to climb into Tough Girl's room.

It wouldn't budge; it was locked.

Damn it to hell.

_Why'd Crazy Bitch lock it? _Deidara wondered absently as he turned to walk outside. _To keep me out, I guess, yeah. _

Well, it wouldn't work, anyways. Tough Girl's bedroom window didn't _have _ a lock on it, he'd made sure.

Casually Deidara climbed onto the roof. Roofs held no challenge for him. Why? Because he was a badass, that's why. He was fucking Spiderman with a less gay-ass costume. Probably no other member of the Akatsuki could scale a roof this fast, not even the bastard Uchiha, ha!

He confidently strode across the roof and pried open the window with his pocket knife. He kind of messed up the wood on it, though. _Oops. _Danna would chew him out for leaving evidence that he'd been there, because Danna didn't understand that ninety-nine percent of the time, Deidara was intentionally making it so that they'd know someone had been around doing something devious, destructive, and illegal.

That's why bombs were so fun; you could get away without getting caught, but everyone would know _someone _did it! Hell to the yeah.

Deidara slipped into the girls' room, surveying the mess. Clothes everywhere, chip bags crumpled up and thrown into the corners, burnt matches, weapons strewn in very unsafe-looking ways throughout, papers slipping out of Tough Girl's dresser.

_This place is totaled and I didn't wreck it. I'm losing my touch, un. _

He looked to find Tough Girl and Crazy Bitch; the lesbos were sleeping in the same bed.

It was actually kinda funny; Joseph was on her back, hanging half-off the bed, with almost no covers. Mari, however, was drooling on her pillow, her knee bent all weird, with almost all of the black blanket on her. He also noticed that she had her hair down, the first time he'd seen it this way when it wasn't wet. And when she wasn't actively trying to murder him. In fact, he'd been in this room only three times before; once when he heard her being a complete retarded dork in the shower, once when she'd just gotten jumped, and once a week or two ago to take pictures of Tough Girl while she was sleeping.

JK...JK.

He grinned. He had to find a way to say that to her today. It had to happen; it had just made Deidara's bucket list in the past three seconds.

"Joseph!" Tough Girl snapped out of nowhere. "Stop hogging the covers, goddammit!"

And she pulled all the rest of them over herself.

He bent down and picked up one of the matches off the floor. The sulfur had fallen off so it hadn't been done last night; whoever had done it had let it burn until there was less than a quarter inch of cardboard left, and so almost definetly burned the shit out of their fingers. Judging by how many there were and the lack of pot leaves, it looked like they'd burned matches just for the hell of it.

Tough Girl was right-handed, wasn't she?

He stopped himself just in time. Why did he care? Usually he didn't give a flying fuck what girls did, outside of things that benefited him in some way. If they weren't making him a sandwhich or blowing him, what did he care? Of course, if Tough Girl was a pyro that was kinda fantastic, and besides, anything having to do with fire was his buisness. But the fact remained that he was too involved, so-

"Hello."

Deidara jumped a mile. Not six feet, not six and a half feet, but five thousand two hundred and eighty feet. **(A/N: Totally had to look that up. First try was way off; 1528. XD) "**Goddammit, Sasori!" he snapped, looking at his evil, psychotic, _silent _partner, sitting in the windowsill and looking like life was the most boring shit imaginable. "How long were you standing there for, un?"

"I could say the same to you," he responded.

Deidara quickly became aware of how it looked to be standing over two sleeping girls, staring at them. He scowled. "I wanted to wake them up, un."

"Didn't know her door was soundproof."

"I can do without the sarcasm, un."

"I can't." Sasori slinked into the room to also look at the girls, the fucking hypocrite. "I wonder why you would choose to go through the trouble of sneaking into her window rather than waking her up by yelling. You never seemed to have had a problem with that before, now have you?"

"_This _is why, un," Deidara said, trying to remain casual. He walked over toward where Tough Girl was sleeping and started taking off his skin-colored gloves.

"Ah, yes. The endless struggle to annoy everyone you come into contact with."

"Go to hell, danna, this is fun, un!" He raised his hands, tongues wiggling freely, toward Tough Girl's face. "You know, _fun? _ As in, something you do-

"That results in you being injured."

"You just-"

"GAH! Screwass! Fucking damn shit DEIDARA YOU ARE A COCKSUCKER!"

POW! "Ow, what the hell, Mari!" Joseph snapped from the floor.

Deidara grinned. Fuck Sasori, he got to bother someone who freaked out far more easily! "This is gonna be fun, danna, feel free to take notes, un!

* * *

><p><strong>Mari<strong>

Have you ever wondered how you'd react under a truly dangerous situation? I have. Like, under pressure, I always worried I might be the pussy who faints. Well, actually, I doubted that, but I wondered if I'd be the guy who goes bat-shit insane around the end of the movie and pulls a gun on everyone else for some retarded reason. I _do _have a tendency to overreact.

Well, lately that fear has reduced somewhat, since danger isn't exactly hard to come by these days. When something scary happens, they say everyone is either fight-or-flight, and I have proven myself to be fight.

However.

Even hardened soldiers would freak out if they woke up under these circumstances.

"Stop fucking laughing!" I snap at Deidara, wincing slightly at a headache. "Why are you in my goddamn room?"

"So I could do this," he snickers. "You're pretty jumpy, arencha, un."

Oh my god, I hate his face. I glare at his laughing eyes for a second, then look away when I feel some kind of weird pressure in my stomach. What comes next is that wierd burning feeling I don't want to feel just right now. As I always do when I have a feeling I don't like and don't want to show it,I dig my fingernails into my thigh underneath the blankets. It helps focus my mind a bit.

While I'm doing this Joseph replies, "Ugh, you have no idea. One time I got punched in the face because I woke her up with a clown mask on."

My attention is momentarily diverted. "You should've known better, man."

"I agree," Sasori agrees -wait, HE'S HERE TOO? Fuck the Motherfucking Easter Bunny! "It's obvious that when in _any_ kind of stress, she resorts to violence."

"Yeah, but I figured she wouldn't punch as hard at 3 AM," Joseph explains.

"3 AM?" Deidara asks.

"First unsupervised sleepover we ever had," Joseph says happily. "I still have the scars."

"Fuck you, that day was sad for me," I bitch.

"Which, in hindsight, is another reason I should've known better than to scare you," she agrees.

"Why was it a sad day?" Deidara asks, wrinkling his eyebrows in confusion.

"You don't get to know," I tell him, glaring at Joseph so she'd know that giving Deidara my backstory wasn't an option.

"As fascinating as this is," Sasori cuts in boredly, trailing off to indicate he wants the subject to be changed.

"Man, someone needs to make some breakfast," Joseph says out of nowhere. "Any volunteers?"

"Not the cripple," I mutter.

"Oh, you'll be better in a few weeks," Blonde Prick tells me dismissively.

"Yeah, and I have to deal with you fuckers until then."

Deidara smirks. "Oh, you think this is bad? Wait till there's eight more of us, all day, every day, un."

"Look at me, I'm shaking."

"Wait, _what?" _Joseph asks.

"In three weeks when Mari's ankle fully heals," Sasori explains, "the Akatsuki will be moving in here."

I scowl and look at the ground to the right. God dammit, this whole situation sucks ass. I can't frickin' believe-

"Oh _fuck_ yes," Joseph declares, and I look up to see her grinning.

"What's _good _about that, man?" I demand.

"What _isn't?" _

I just shake my head, becuase I'm still tired and this headache is getting worse. I put my forehead on my palm and close my eyes-

All of a sudden someone grabs my arm.

"The fuck?" I snap, twisting my right arm over and yanking it away from Deidara. He looks strangely thoughtful.

There's a five-second silence, in which two lines of a song manages to play in my head:

_I hear you calling and it's needles and pins (and pins)  
>I want to hurt you just to hear you screaming my name<br>Don't want to touch you but you're under my skin (deep in)_

Damn my musical mindset, that's _not _a song I want related to Deidara in my mind.

"Why?" I ask him simply.

He shrugs.

I glare at him for a second, then slowly shake my head. "Not cool, man," I growl, my skin crawling slightly from the unwanted contact. It's like I can still feel his hand on my arm; I want to rub the feeling away but there's no way I'm letting him see that. Besides, I'm just being stupid. It doesn't matter if someone touches my arm.

What _does _matter is that my stomach just gave that uncomfortable lurch _again. _It really pisses me off. No one should be able to have that kind of effect on me, no one.

Joseph looks at me, then at him, then at me again. She frowns. "Dei. Kitchen. Yonder."

He doesn't have time to do anything but give her a "WTF?" face before she grabs his sleeve and pulls him toward the door.

"What the fuck, bitch? Let go, un!"

"We have things to discuss, douche. Yonder."

I bet Blonde Prick probably could've escaped if he wanted to, but for whatever reason he just goes along with Joseph into the kitchen.

Well that was weird.

I turn my attention back to Sasori. "Why are you even here, anyways?"

He gives me what I think might be a contemplative look, but since Sasori is nearly impossible to read I could be wrong. "I wanted to find out more about the side effects of the drug I used on you last night."

I narrow my eyes at him, scowling. "Yeah, thanks for that."

"You're the one who took the soda, Mari. More importantly, have you noticed any...unusual feelings lately?"

I blink. "As in, since I woke up five minutes ago?"

He nods, apparently missing the sarcasm.

"I'm gonna have to say no."

"So your reaction to Deidara touching your arm is the norm for you?"

A bit of susupicion creeps into me and I raise an eyebrow slightly. "Like what?"

He gives me a slight superior smile before listing: "Well, for one, you recoiled immediately and unconsciously readied yourself for a fight."

Did I? I look down and see that my arms and fists are still poised as if I'm about to punch someone. Damn, I'm good. And jumpy. But so what? "And?"

"Do you react that way to anyone touching you, or just Deidara?"

_That's none of your damn buisness_, I think, and nearly say it, but then I pause. This guy's a schemer and a manipulator, and if I'm defensive about this I'm just handing him another weapon against me. "I guess everyone," I say, trying to be flippant. "What does it matter to you?"

"Well, it wouldn't much," he says, and his smile widens almost imperceptibly. "But immediately after that, once you were done glaring at my idiotic partner, you looked left and downwards, indicating you were confused about a feeling having to do with Deidara."

"How the hell-"

"In addition," Sasori goes on, "despite that you apparently resent him and were extremely uncomfortable when he touched you, rather than leaning away as would be expected, you just sat there, not trying to make more space between you and the offender. Wouldn't you say that's unusual?"

Alright, this is starting to be kind of uncomfortable. I set my face in a confused look, like I have no idea what he's talking about. "You have way too much time on your hands, buddy."

He ignores me. "Besides which, several times lately I've noticed that after you and Deidara happen to make eye contact, you invariably look away, scowl, and do something to distract yourself. I noticed that you clawed at your own skin in an attempt to do just that."

Uh-oh. "What's your point?"

He looks at me for a second. "Let me finish, please. Most telling of all is that just a moment ago, after Deidara grabbed your arm to look at your hand -althougt I cannot imagine _why _he felt it necessary to do that- your stomach muscles clenched and your heart rate increased enough that your neck flushed momentarily."

Oh shit. I don't even have anything to say here, so I just sit here looking at Sasori all stupid, like, duhhhhh. I claer my throat. "So...?"

"So that leads me to believe that you may be suffering from a psycological side effect of the expiremental drug you consumed at 11:41 last night."

"Wow, right down to the minute, you sure do your homework, man," I mutter. "Why'd you use an expiremental drug on me? And what kind of side effect, exactly?"

"Well, the first question's fairly easy: because I could."

"Asshole."

"And as for the second, it's a side effect that increases the_ fertility _of the user for a short period of time."

Oh SHIT. "You mean that shit makes you _horny_?" I whisper-scream, mortified.

"That's the theory...in a manner of speaking." Now he's definetly smirking, the jerk.

"That's not how drugs work!" I snap.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Sasori answers, sarcasm dripping from every syllable. "I didn't know _you _were the first minor to get a Master's degree in chemisty as well."

"You got a-"

"Under an alibi," Sasori responds, waving his hand in the air like it didn't matter.

"That's...kinda badass," I deadpan.

"Thank you. Anyways, back to the matter at hand," he goes on, cokcing his head slightly. "Earlier, did you have any such feelings-"

"No!" I snap immediately. "Not even a little bit."

"So that's your story."

"Uh-huh."

"Despite all the signs to the contrary, you felt no sort of physical attraction toward Deidara a minute ago."

"None."

"Really? Because now you're sitting unnaturally stiff; your hands are clenched as though you're on the defensive; you just pulled our knees up to your chest as if to create a barrier between us; and just now, you scratched your chin. All of these are the body language of a liar."

What. The. Fuck. I hate to admit it but Sasori is kind of handing me a major mindfuck right now. I clench my teeth together and glare at him, not trusting myself to speak.

"I could go on," he says, giving the total "check and mate" face. "Let's not be juvenille about this, shall we? It's not a slight against you if you're attract-"

"It doesn't matter anyways," I snap, becuase I really don't want to hear the end of that sentence. "Even if I did, y'know, feel that way, a little, it doesn't matter. Like you said, it's just becuase you drugged me, right?"

No reading whatsoever on his face now. It's blank as a sheet. "So you admit to 'feeling that way', then?" he asks, making the 'quote' fingers.

"Yeah sure whatever," I mutter, hoping just to get him off my back.

He's silent for a moment, and then a slight smile dances on his face.

I can't help slightly widening my eyes. I've seen that smile before, on my best friend's face. Usually a smile is a good thing, but _that _one...

It signals the death of worlds.

"Have you ever heard of the placebo effect, Mari?"

It takes a few seconds for that one to sink in. "You. Mother. Fucker," I mutter, too embaressed even to get angry yet.

"Well. I've fulfilled my objective," he tells me suddenly, standing up. "Until next time."

He stands up, about to leave through the window.

Oh, shit! He's probably gonna- "Hey! Wait! Uh..." I trail off, not sure what to say as he turns back to gaze at me impassively. There's no way in hell I'm about to beg to this bastard, but I can't just sit here and...

"Don't worry. I won't tell anyone." He smiles that death-of-worlds smile again. "Unless, of course, the need should arise."

And he does this cool ninja-like jump out the window, and I'm left feeling more mortified and idiotic than I have in a while.

_FUCK ME._

* * *

><p><strong>Joseph<strong>

"Deidara, you're retarded," I snap as I throw an egg onto a frying pan.

"What the hell are you talking about, hm?" he asks, leaning against the fridge with his arms crossed, scowling at me.

"Quit doing things on purpose to piss Mari off!" I make sure to actually discard the eggshell this time.

He snorts derisively. "Yeah, that'll happen, un."

"It had _better," _ I tell him, turning away from the food I'm making and putting my hands on my hips to glare at him. "If you want to have a chance with her."

He gives me what I think could best be described as "bitch, please". "I honestly couldn't care less, un."

"I don't give a damn, I _do," _I growl. "Just so you know: Mari doesn't like to be touched by people she doesn't know well or trust, especially not guys. And she has good reason for it, too."

I notice that his eyes narrow a bit, and he finally seems to be giving me his undivided attention. "What kind of a reason, hm?"

"You'll have to ask Mari about that," I answer evasively, "_after _you've got her to trust you a little."

"I seriously doubt that will ever happen," Deidara answers, chuckling. "She fucking _hates _me, un."

I roll my eyes at him and turn back to the eggs I'm making. "You would think that, wouldn't you?"

"Well, it's true, isn't it? Unless..." I hear him shift slightly closer to me. "She's told you otherwise, hm?"

I snort. "No, of course not, she's told me that she despises you with every inch of her soul and hope you die a million painful deaths in hell."

"Gee, I feel special, un."

"You should."

"What's that supposed to mean, hm?"

I look at him and decide that now I've got him wondering, and that's all he needs to be doing at this moment. I don't want to put mari at a further disadvantage by making him certain she likes him. "It could mean several different things, and I'm not about to explain any. The point is, don't touch Mari like that."

"I'll do what I want, un."

"You'll regret it," I warn him.

"I'll take my chances, un," he grins.

"By the way..." I say, my voice trailing off. "Why did you even do that? What was on her hand that was so important?"

I happen to glance at his face again, and see an odd look in his eyes. He looks excited, but he's staring off into the distance, like he's thinking of something else completely besides this conversation. "Just the sign of a budding artist, is all, un."

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

He just looks at me and smirks. "It could mean several different things, and I'm not about to explain any."

"Touche, smartass."

Just then, the backdoor opens and we turn just in time to see Sasori casually walking into the kitchen. "I'm leaving. Deidara, try not to be as stupid as usual."

"Shut up, danna," Deidara snaps. "Why'd you even come in the first place, hm?"

Sasori's already turned around to leave the room, so I can't see his face, but I can hear him chuckle. "Just an experiemtn on the placebo effect, brat."

'What are you-"

And Sasori's gone.

Deidara rolls his eyes toward me. "No chance you understood that, is there, hm?"

I don't answer. _Maybe that redhead could be considered hot, too, _ I think idly, turning back to fry more egg.

* * *

><p><strong>Man, Sasori was pretty chatty in this chapter, wasn't he? I really wanted to show how devious he is and stuff. Also, it may seem that I'm giving the Akatsuki some unnaturally ninja-like abilities; all will be explained evantually. <strong>

**Also, it just struck me that a lot of the encounters in this fic sound kind of unlikely, and that the Akatsuki are a little OOC. I'm sorry about that, and I'll fix it when I found time, but the truth is that's the main point of this; not to be 100% realistic (although I am giving my best efforts toward that, trust me), but to produce funny dialogue and moments. **

**Just one last side note: If you haven't already, I'd _love _for you guys to go vote on the poll on my page. It's asking who you think Deidara should be paired with.**

**I can't think of anything else to say, so: please review the crap out of this chapter, and thanks for reading!**

**-amy out**


	24. Instakill and Contemplations

**Dude, I just noticed that I've really been neglecting Kai in this story. Oops.**

**I probably could put a lot more inner-thinking-crap in this chapter, and draw it out more, but honestly I just don't feel like writing drama. You'll get plenty of that later on.**

**On a completely unrelated side note, my ears are bleeding because I refuse to set my volume to anything but 100%. My theory is, if your ears aren't bleeding it's not loud enough, if it can't cause seizures it's not bright enough, and if I'm not dead yet it's obviously not _too _dangerous.**

**Ahem. Anyways.**

**Lyrics from The Kill by 30 Seconds to Mars.**

* * *

><p>BlackOps, Zombie Mode is one hell of a tension reducer, did you know?<p>

"INSTAKILL, MAN!" I screech, switching my viral M-14 for a pistol in order to collect more points, because you only have to shoot once rather than eight times even with the pistol when you have instakill.

"Fuck yes, un!"

"Hey!" I happen to glance at Deidara's part of the screen and notice that he's shooting zombies in the darkened window. "That's MY damn window, get the hell back to yours!"

"You're still halfway up the stairs, bitch, un!"

"Quit stealing my motherfucking kills, you dirty bastard!"

"You sound like Hidan, un."

"I DO NOT SOUND LIKE HIDAN GODDAMMIT!"

Of course, since me and Deidara fight constantly, it's hard to tell from the outside where we stand, tension-wise. Just trust me when I say we're relatively chill right now. Anyhoo, BlackOps Zombie Mode has gotta be the modern-day version of the peace pipe. I was still pretty pissed at the world when I talked myself into going downstairs (fuck you, Sasori -is all I will say on the subject), but by turning on BlackOps I'm managing not to feel especially homicidal yet. It kinda hurts the blisters on my thumb and pointer finger to play video games, but I ignore it.

"I think I really wanna meet this Hidan guy," Joseph says impassively from behind as she munches on cheetos. "He sounds pretty badass."

"He's an annoying fucker," I answer distractedly as I go up to Deidara and knife him -not that it makes any difference, but it's a pretty good way to send a message- until he leaves. "Shoot your own damn zombies, motherfucker, I have to have points to buy the shotgun, man."

Shit, zombie breech upstairs. I start to run up the stairs-

"I just threw a grenade, un," Deidara tells me impassively.

"Motherfucker!" I stop running up and just go back and forth, indecesively. "Where?

"Don't worry about it, un."

"Kay." I go up and start shooting zombies. I get two down before Dei's grenade goes off, making my screen all fuzzy as I try to run away. "DEIDARA! You said not to worry about it, man!"

"I _lied," _he answers mischeviously.

"Fuck you! Oh shitdick-" I throw the controller on the ground in anger.

"You dead, un?"

"Yes I'm dead, come frickin' revive me."

"I got better things to do, un."

"The fuck?" I turn to glare at Deidara, who is now shooting a multitude of zombies and circling the room. "I'm your partner, you asshole!"

"And, un?" he teases me, although I notice he _is _ making his way toward me.

"Just come revive me, man!"

"Alright, alright, calm your tits, un." He gets to me, looks down, and the hold-x-to-revive option pops up.

"Wait. Gotta reload, un."

"Bastard!" I punch him on the arm. "Revive me, dammit!"

"Well, I was _gonna, _but now-"

"If I die, you'll die too, cause you can barely handle your two windows _with _ a partner, man."

"Take that back, un."

"Yeah fucking right, man!"

"You're about to be spectating, un," he taunts, not leaving, but facing away from me to kill more zombies in the meantime.

"Fucking fine! I take it back, now revive me!" I snap. This mother fucker is so goddamn annoying, but...he is a pretty good video game partner.

"Alrighty then, un." He revives me, just before I die for real. I get up and stab him twice before killing more zombies.

"You owe me, un."

"How do you figure that?"

"I just saved your ass, un."

"_After YOU _got me killed in the first place."

"Get over it, you should know by now not to believe things I say, un."

"Yeah, I should!"

"So whose fault is it that you died, hm?"

"Yours."

..."Hey, I just threw a grenade, un."

"Motherfucker!"

"Psyche, un."

"Hey Mari," Joseph says from behind. "I'm putting on some music, 30 Seconds to Mars sound good?"

"Fuck yes."

A few seconds later, after she's done fiddling with my iPod and the stereo, we hear the music: _"What if I wanted to break?_

_Laugh it all off in your face?_

_What would you do?_

_What if I fell to the floor?_

_Couldn't take this anymore?_

_What would you do, do do?"_

_"Come, break me down,"_ I sing along under my breath even as I kill zombies._ "Bury me, bury me, I am finished with you!" _

"You're pretty much kicking ass, un," Deidara observes out of nowhere.

I'm confused at the unexpected compliment, but try not to show it. "Uh...thanks?"

"Behind you, un."

I turn around just in time to see a freaky zombie all up in my grill. I make a choking sound and get hit once before I have time to back up and shoot the motherfucker.

"Don't let youself be distracted so easily, un."

"Then shut your yap and quit distracting me, man!"

This is around the time that Kai walks in. I'm not sure, because I'm more or less focused on the screen, but I hear Joseph greeting him: "Whatsup, kid."

"Whatsup, whore."

"Kai!" I snap. "No cussing, fuck dammit!"

"Well, _you're _ a great example, after all," Kai answers me sarcastically.

"You're spending too much time with me, kid," I tell him.

"Mari-nee-chan, can I play?" he asks.

"No, un," Deidara answers for me.

I check to make sure I'm not under imminent threat of zombies to glare at him. "He wasn't _asking _you, man."

"Yeah, I answered anyways," he replies impassively. "I don't wanna play with the kid, un."

For some reason this really irritates me, and I scowl. "Well too bad. Kai, here."

"Thank youuuuuu..."

"You're a bitch, tough girl," Deidara snaps at me.

"And you're a fucking faggot." I hand the controller to Kai, who promptly sits down and starts shooting the hell out of zombies.

I can tell Blonde Prick is about to keep arguing until he sees Kai kicking ass at his favorite video game, when he looks surprised and turns his full attention back to the screen.

I smirk a little here. Deidara's about to find out firsthand how much of a beast gamer my little brother is.

I go back to sit with Joseph on the couch, stuffing my hand into the bag of cheetos and helping myself, looking at the black-haired head of my little brother and feeling somewhat guilty. I haven't exactly been as comforting as I should be to him lately. I mean, I guess I _should _be bothered by my parents deserting us, but at this point I don't trust them at all. Well, since I pretty much only trust two people in the world anyways -Joseph and Kai- I guess what's more accurate is that Mom and Dad are on my Super-Double-Intensely-Untrust list. It's more of an irritation to me than something that causes pain.

Wait, is that true? I try to search myself to see if I feel hurt. I guess there's some of it, somewhere, but I'm finding things like that increasingly easy to ignore. For the last few years, whenever I feel bad I just do something to distract myself, something totally insane and badass and loud. Never stop moving, never be silent, that's how you survive.

But what about Kai? How do I know he's not hurt? I don't care about me, but _he's _not allowed to be sad and angry and sick inside all the time. He's gonna grow up to be a healthy, functioning member of society if I have to force him.

I watch him, with his don't-fuck-with-me face on (which, by the way, if pretty funny on a little kid), getting easily twice as many kills as Deidara is. He doesn't _seem _like he's messed up inside.

But then again, from the outside, neither do I.

Unless you happen to get a hold of my permenant record.

Well, there's no reason to get all obsessed about it; if he needs help he'll ask.

Besides, not that Kai's not important, but I do have some kind of urgent shit going on right now.

Up till now, I havent allowed myself to really contemplate the whole being-forced-into-the-Akatsuki thing. For one thing, I haven't had time, and for another, there are certain -individuals- around who I don't want to risk freaking out around. Like, what if I end up getting really pissed off or sad or some dumb shit, and you could tell by looking at me? I refuse to be seen that way.

But this is the kinda thing that needs to be sorted through. I need to figure out a strategy, how I'm going to play this, I need to let myself feel whatever it is I'm going to feel before it winds up biting me in the ass later.

I guess I'm still in a state of denial, because none of this quite seems real. It's just too stupid, too ridiculously stupid to be true. And yet I know it is. Not that I'm sure what being a member of the Akatsuki entails, other than being a badass. But anyways, whatever it is, it's retarded.

What really gets to me, is that someone _else _made this choice for me. Like it's theirs to make what I do with my life! The mother fuckers. Always, it's been up to me and me alone to survive, to make sure Kai does as well. That ended up meaning a lot of loneliness, but it also meant that I got to find my own way, without other people butting in. I've learned how to live that way, how to function. And I like it. But now someone else is telling me what I have to do.

I scowl at nothing. These sons of bitches are poking their noses in and fucking around with my life, probably screwing it up beyond recognition. They'll probably screw Kai up more than he already has been, and they'll just be more people trying to control me.

This is unacceptable. I clench my teeth.

These people are telling me what I have to do. And I'll _never_ forgive them for it.

* * *

><p>A week passes.<p>

* * *

><p><strong>Yeah, I know, lame time-elapsing trick there. Sorry. As of now only about a month and a half has elapsed from when Mari first started the semester, and really that's just dumb. Events need to be more spread-out.<strong>

**And I know this chapter is quite a bit shorter than the rest; sorry about that. Consider the fact of having updated twice within twenty-four hours before you get all pissed about it.**

**I hope you liked the BlackOps dialogue; that's all adapted from actually conversation playing that exact game.**

**Anways, please review -I think I deserve it by now, don't I? I'm not about to go setting any more review quotas, but surely I can get more than four or five a chapter. Come on, guys, my traffic stats say I got 83 visitors for chater 23 since I posted it, and only five people can review? Shame on the other 15/16ths of you. (Or something like that. I don't really like math enough to try and figure it out.) I don't even really care if you review this chpapter specifically, since even I can admit it's a little suckish, but I thought the last one was pretty damn good! Okay, reviw rant over now.**

**In any case, I'm so glad you guys like this story at all anyways. Thanks for reading!**

**-amy out**


	25. Obvious Foreshadowing

**I'm in the wrong here. I suck. **

**Updates have slown down to a deadly crawl. This must suck for you guys, so sorry!**

**Also, in way of updates and how long they'll take: although it is summer, that doesn't really help me have time since we don't have internet access, and since I'm on probation I can't just get dropped off at the library very often, and a million other things. So, I'm sorry if my updates continue to suck for a while.**

* * *

><p>I drum my fingers against my desk as I wait for the bell to ring. It's fourth period, History, and since my dumb ass didn't eat any breakfast I'm already hungry. 'Course I don't know anyone in this class and I have no desire to; man, I wish I had a book...<p>

Well, anyways, I got my schedule finalized, finally.

1st - Martial Arts (Freshmen)  
>2d - Study Hall<br>3d - Adv. Language Arts  
>4th - Adv. History<br>5th -Art  
>Lunch<br>6th - Biology/Science  
>7th- Free Period<br>8th - Math

Yeah, dude -they have a _martial arts _class that you can take instead of gym! I was wrong before, rich kid's schools kick _ass. _As for Study Hall, I don't see how that even counts as a class, but I'm not complaining. I get to just dick around and read for an hour every morning. Well, maybe I should spend some time doing my actual homework, since my grades are slipping. _But why should I? _I think, for the hundredth time. _My grades aren't gonna matter if I'm gonna be-_

No. Stop. Ignore it. Thinking about this right now willl just get me pissed at the world even more, and I don't want anyone thinking something's wrong. Even if it is. I don't need help.

Still, even I can tell I haven't been acting like myself lately. More snappish and moody. Team Baka's noticed, I can just tell. They klook at me differently. Naruto mentioned it breifly, but I didn't give any kind of helpful answer. Slowly I'm becoming more and more angry, more and more withdrawn...I'm fully aware that I'm acting childish about this, but I don't care. If I'm going to be forced into a new way of life I'm going to be dragging my feet.

The bell rings, class is finally starting. I glance up at the overhead and my mood immediately improves; we're entering a new segment on 'The Feudal Shinobi Era'. I think I'll actually pay attention today.

"Alright, guys," the teacher drawls as the class settles down. "We finally get to the good stuff!"

Laughter and excited chatter throughout the classroom.

"The Feudal Shinobi Era," Teacher-Man starts the lecture as he presses a button to make the overhead repeat what he's saying, presumably so we can take notes. I happen to actually have a pretty good memory and usually don't need to take notes, so, lucky me. (I'm actually a pretty smart kid, my bad grades are just a result of a profound lack of caring.) "…is the time-frame between 900 B.C. and 1700 A.D. when the continent was dominated by war and the Way of the Shinobi. This is the stuff of legends, people."

He goes on to describe the feudal environment of the shinobi world; the original Land of Fire and its military stronghold, our city's ancestor The Village Hidden in the Leaves –all the while only scratching the surface of the village's ways and beliefs. Actually I'm a little disgusted by how little justice he's doing to the full story. I've always found the stories of the shinobi fascinating and actually did my own research on the matter. I can't believe how little they're telling us about the shinobi philosophy, the Kages, the various ranking of ninja. They aren't even mentioning the Tailed Beasts! Geez, I hope they cover that stuff later…Although how funny would it be if their poorest, B-average student knew more about the subject than the curriculum actually taught?

I'm especially interested in the old kekkei genkais, since some remnants of their former glory is still around, how cool is that? I cross my fingers that we'll get to that later. It looks like he's just giving us a general overview of the topic today, anyway.

"After the Fourth Great Shinobi War," the teacher tells us, "the general consensus of the Allied Nations was that a ninja society would only result in more war. The villages decided as one, in that time of peace, to move on past mercenary behavior and begin developing technology instead to keep their economies thriving."

I snort to myself. Bullshit flag. A society built the way it was, on fighting and war, that whole system wasn't about to just disappear. The Way of the Shinobi didn't sacrifice itself for world peace. What happened was some treaties were signed to keep the peace for a few decades, long enough for the Leaf to develop satellite-guided missiles. I mean, other things happened to jumpstart the Industrial Revolution, but none of them would've been truly effective in changing the world if the Land of Fire hadn't developed the ability to wipe out an entire nation from the other side of the world.

Well, you know what they say; he who wins, writes the history books. They're not about to come right out and say that our ancestors bullied the rest of the continent into trading in their shruiken for cell phones.

But still, despite the obvious cultural bias, the subject's still awesome. I listen closely to the teacher's description of the ninja hierarchy, thinking about what I wouldn't give to have been born back then and be a shinobi! Now, the jutsus of old have disappeared almost completely. The only places they still exist are in various militaries –ours included- that teach a select few of the jutsus that could still be useful in modern warfare, the scattered individuals and groups that are determined to keep them alive by training themselves, and of course the ever-rare remnants of the infamous kekkei genkais that have survived thus far.

"Despite having been hunted down both before and after the Industrial Revolution," the teacher tells us, "the government now protects those with kekkei genkais against discrimination, and today they're more common than one might think."

_Tell me about it, _I think, picturing Itachi's spinning Sharingan. It would really have been nice to know he was one of the few who could actually use some of the exotic ninja arts. Besides him, there's Deidara with his hand-mouths, Kisame and Zetsu who don't even look human, and I think Blonde Prick may have mentioned something about Kakuzu having some freaky ability. Naruto even told me the other day that Sasuke can also use the Sharingan, and that shy kid Hinata has some weird eye ability. I forget what the name of it is…reminded me of that kid game, Bakugan, with the little metal cards…Actually there's a lot of people around here with abilities like that; probably because this place used to be a ninja village. It's a little off-putting to be surrounded by people with kekkei genkais. _Wish I had one. _

I listen to the rest of the lecture with mild interest, since he's not saying a lot that I don't already know. Hopefully we'll learn something actually interesting in the next weeks that we're covering it.

* * *

><p>Another irritating thing about being an honorary Akatsuki? I'm supposed to sit with them every day at breakfast. Not at lunch, though, then I get to sit where I want. I'm pretty sure this Leader guy just makes up the rules as he goes.<p>

I still refuse to ride Deidara's motorcycle on principle, so he's been using this sleek green Mercedes to get to school –which I know isn't much better, but I take what I can get. Plus he's been driving Joseph to her job as a convenient store clerk. I grudgingly approve of this; she only had to threaten him a little to make him agree. It was actually kind of a cool thing for him to do –not that I'd ever say it out loud, of course.

Anyways, breakfast usually consists of me sulking and refusing to join in the conversation while they brag about various crimes they've committed and people they've intimidated. Once in a while Leader will give someone a 'mission' –what they call a gang assignment- that is supposed to take place at the school. They also plan out capers between themselves, from hacking into the school's database to bump up Hidan's grades so he won't flunk (Hidan and Sasori) to sneaking a python into Gai's classroom (Kisame, Deidara and Kakuzu). They haven't asked me to participate –"You wouldn't be much help with that ankle," Kisame tells me reasonably- but they seem to take it for granted that I will as soon as I'm able.

Today, though –Thursday- Leader actually acknowledges me. "Your ankle will be healed soon, I understand?"

"Uh…sure?" I answer uncertainly, still surprised at having been spoken to. My ankle actually is healing pretty fast –it feels more or less alright now- but I'm certainly not giving them any kind of heads-up on the matter.

"Itachi informed me that it should be fully functional by next weekend, in time for your initiation."

I scowl. "Peachy. You gonna clue me in on what 'initiation' entails?"

The guy just looks at me, like he's wondering how I could dare to ask such a question, before continuing on as if I hadn't spoken. Jerk. "In the meantime, the Akatsuki will be moving in to your home, our new headquarters, next Wednesday. Get your house ready for said operation between now and then."

His orders given, Leader goes back to ignoring me. I scowl at being given a command like that, like he's my boss or something! I mean, I guess he technically is now, but to me he's still just some guy, and I've never been good with authority or rules. Why else would I always be in trouble?

The more I think about it, the more angry and irritated I get. I can't _stand _being ordered around like this, being forced to go along with this against my will! And then these guys just go along, laughing and teasing me about it all, like my entire life being twisted beyond recognition is some kind of _joke! _My entire future is screwed now, thanks to them!

_I really, really hate these guys, _I think, fuming, as the bell rings and we all stand up to go to class. I envision brutal, bloody, grisly deaths for all of them, especially Blonde Prick, Leader and Itachi, them being the main reasons I'm in this situation in the first place.

I'm envisioning Leader, connected to a truck, being dragged down a highway by his face piercings, when Hidan decides to try and fuck with me. "Hear that? Initiation's coming up. You know what the initiation process is for the bitches, don't you?"

I've had enough.

* * *

><p>"Hey guys," Sakura spoke up through the din of the chaotic school cafeteria. "Have you noticed Mari acting weird?"<p>

"Yeah," Naruto agreed, frowning. "She's all moody lately."

"Sh-she's sitting w-with the Akatsuki every m-morning," Hinata noticed nervously.

"You don't think she's…" Sakura trailed off nervously.

"…Their newest member? Most likely," Shikimaru answered casually as he absentmindedly pushed around his scrambled eggs with his fork.

Kiba gave a hoot of laughter. "Nah, really? Doesn't she hate them? There's no way!"

Sakura smacked him on the shoulder. "It's not funny!"

"Yeah!" Naruto agreed, looking somewhat troubled. "I don't wanna see her get mixed up with the wrong crowd."

"Oh, re-laaax," Ino told them, sipping her Diet Coke and giving them a smug grin. "She's probably only sitting there to chat it up with that blonde."

Sakura rolled her bright green eyes. "It's always about dating with you, isn't it, Ino-pig? Mari hates those guys, especially the blonde; you should know that by now."

Ino shrugged. "Whatever you say, Billboard-Brow…"

"Do you really t-think she's…" Hinata started to ask, and then blushed furiously when she saw that Naruto was looking at her.

"I don't know," Sakura answered, biting her lip. "I'm a little worried about her, you know, hanging out with them. The Akatsuki don't mess around, everyone knows that, I'm surprised they're not in jail already. She could really get hurt…"

At this point those members of Team Baka who were friends of Mari's fell quiet, gazing over to the Akatsuki table with slight anxiety as they silently worried (at different degrees, of course, as Ino, Kiba and Shikimaru were only somewhat interested in the entire affair) over the well-being of their newest friend.

That is, until Hidan walked over to say something to the hot-tempered girl, and they witnessed him swiftly get punched in the nuts, courtesy of Mari.

Sweat-dropping, they watched in silence as Hidan fell to the floor, groaning, and Mari stomped angrily off, ignoring the other laughing Akatsuki members.

Naruto was the first at Team Baka to speak. "…I think she'll be fine."

* * *

><p><strong>Not at all happy with this chapter. Too short, a little awkward, even kind of boring. Not at all worth the wait, plus, I bet it was a bit confusing. Also, it was pretty rushed, but I wanted to update so bad I just went with it anyways. All I can say for myself is that I had to write it because it was necessary to the plot, and that better things await. Just be patient…<strong>

**The scene in History class was my attempt to establish exactly what universe they're in, and why people are still ninja-ish. In case I didn't do a good enough job explaining it, basically they're in the Naruto universe a few hundred years after Naruto takes place –with, of course, the central characters moved up through the space-time-thingy. I think it's pretty logical that things might've turned out this way –if not entirely likely. I pretty much used the universe Naruto takes place in, with all its rules of nature and history, and created a society more like ours. Well, mine, since now that I think of it they act more American than Japanese. Dammit. Well, I guess since I created an entirely different alternate universe, a little culture clash isn't that big of a deal. So, anyways, if anyone's confused by any of this just go ahead and let me know, I'll put some kind of explanation out.**

**Here's a kind of weird thought: Maybe instead of an OC, I should've used Tayuya. Remember her? I was watching some old episodes and realized that their personalities are almost identical; hot-tempered, proud, combative, foulmouthed…she even has a strong affinity toward music that I wanted Mari to have. Any thoughts? **

**Well, in any case, sorry for generally sucking…but the story will live on, I tell you! IT WILL LIVE ON!**

**-amy out**


	26. A Giant Clusterfuck

Well, the day has finally arrived, the infamous gang Akatsuki are moving into my house. We were just sittin there in the living room, Kai playing Mario Brothers Melee and me arguing with Joseph about getting drunk this weekend, when Hidan KICKED THE DOOR down and walked in with a big cardboard box in his hands. The rest of the Akatsuki walked in also, but I was preoccupied with bitching at Hidan for unnecessarily breaking my door down (it wasn't even locked!).

"You bastard!" I shout. "You broke my freaking door, man!"

"It was in my fucking way!" he shouts back at me, setting his box on the floor.

"What do you think DOORKNOBS are for?"

"Fetishes!"

"...What the motherfuck?"

Hidan grins at me, before turning his gaze over to Kai and Joseph. "I see your little shit of a brother is still here, huh?"

I flip him off.

"And who's this bitch?"

"Joseph."

"Hey," Joseph said, standing up off of the couch.

"_Joseph?_" Hidan asked incredulously, looking at said girl in confusion. "You have a boy's name! What the fuck? Are BOTH of you bitches fucking gender-confused?"

I kick him in the shin. "I'm not gender-confused, asswad!"

"You kinda are, Mari. But don't worry, I'm _much _too sexy to be gender-confused," Joseph tells Hidan cheerfully.

I roll my eyes, expecting Hidan to insult her or start bragging about how sexy he thinks _he_ is, but to my utter shock, he...doesn't. He slowly gets this huge shit-eating grin on his face and starts to stare at her tits. "I could believe that..."

My only thought at this point is, _What the fuck? _

"Close your mouth, you look dumb," Joseph tells me.

I scowl and stomp off. "You're a whore, man!"

They both just laugh at me...bitches...But it's a good thing I stomped away, because it looks like the Akatsuki is TAKIG OVER MY HOUSE.

The very first thing all of them did was start going through all my shit, from the kitchen to my room. Now I'm thankful I was paranoid enough to hide everything personal three days ago.

I march over to Leader angrily. "Hidan broke the fucking door down!"

"And I care, why?"

"Because you live here, now, too!"

"I'll take care of it," Sasori says, walking over to the broken-down door and pulling a screwdrived out of nowhere.

"_Thank_ you," I say irritably, before I r

"Hey -HEY! Don't touch my fucking iPod!" I screech, hauling ass over to Kakuzu (who, as you can probably guess, is looking at my iPod in mild interest).

He simply reaches out his hand and puts it over my face. "Do you know how much this thing is worth?"

"My fucking SOUL, man!" I shout.

"That's not that much."

"Fuck you! Goddammit- let go of my face! That's MY iPod!" Have you ever seen me without my iPod for an extended period of time? It's not pretty.

Kakusu snorts and obliges, setting my iPod down and walking away -apparently not caring all that much.

I glare at his back and pocket the thing, just as I hear a -CRASH!- from Kai's room.

"What the hell..." I run in there, to see my little brother's bookshelf knocked over, with Tobi standing over it victoriously and Kai staring at him in mild interest.

"Mari-chan!" he greets me excitedly. "Tobi defeated the mighty bookshelf moster so that Kai-kun will be able to sleep safely at night!"

"YOU'RE the reason he won't be able to sleep safely!" I snap. Aw, man, that's gonna be a pain in the ass to pick up.

"He doesn't seem dangerous," Kai deadpans. "Just really weird."

Tobi sniffs. "After all Tobi did for him, Kai's calling him weird! Why is everyone so mean to Tobi!"

"Because no one likes you, because you're an idiot," I tell him immediately.

Tobi starts sobbing. Fucking moron.

Kai shakes his head. "Your friends get weirder and weirder."

"They're not my friends," I tell him. "Well, Hidan is kinda, and Kisame's pretty cool, and I've got nothing against Konan...but everyone else sucks."

"I don't know," Kai answers conversationally. "I like them."

My mouth drops open. "What!" My little brother can't like them, because that means he'll end up looking up to them! They're the shittiest role models ever! Me and Joseph are bad enough!

"Pretty-Girl-chan's little brother has a heart, at least!" Tobi declares happily, jumping up and down ecstatically. "Let's be friends, Kai-kun!"

_Say no say no say no, _I will Kai silently.

Kai looks at him critically. "Okay. Just don't call me -kun, and you've got a deal."

I facepalm.

"YAYYYYY!" Tobi runs around in circles, consequently tripping over the bookshelf. He looks up at us from the ground and cheerfully asks, "Does Kai want to go to the park with Tobi?"

"Sure," Kai shrugs.

"Let's go!"

"Wait-" I start, but they're already gone.

I sweatdrop and then rub my temples. _When did my life start to seem like a cartoon? _

Oh, yeah- since I met Tobi.

Just then I hear a loud BANG from the other side of the house, accopanied by Deidara's raucous laughter, Kakuzu's angry shouts and the sound of breaking glass.

I facepalm again, leaving my head on my hand for a few seconds as I have soemthign of a flashback:

_Deidara smirks. "Oh, you think this is bad? Wait till there's eight more of us, all day, every day, un."_

_"Look at me, I'm shaking."_

I should've listened.

Because what should've been a relatively simple operation has rapidly degenerated into a giant clusterfuck.

"Alright, what the hell was that?" I demand, recollecting myself and charging back into the fray -I mean, my living room.

"The brat decided to blow up a bag of apples," Sasori tells me in his signature couldn't-care-less voice, following me as I head for the kitchen and see that, to my horror, the entire place is covered with applesauce and gunpowder. "By the way, I fixed your door."

"DEIDARA!" I screech, turning to see the maniac, laughing form being the refridgerator. "What the hell?"

"Joseph dared me to, un!"

"Joseph!"

"Aw, come on, that's funny!" she tells me, joining Deidara in laughter.

"You couldn't have blown up the applles OUTSIDE?" I shout.

"Well, I could've, but then you wouldn't have gotten mad, un."

I stare at him in confusion. "And that would be bad becauuuuse..."

He grins. "You're funny when you're pissed, un!"

I kick him in the shin as hard as I can.

"Ow! Un!" he says, grabbing his shin and glaring at me.

"Steel-toes boots for the win, BITCH," I snarl at him. "Clean this shit up! And you!" I turn to Joseph, who is now laughing even harder. "Quit encouraging him, man!"

"He probably would've blown them up even if I hadn't, you know."

"That's no excuse!"

"Ahem."

As soon as Leader clears his throat, the entire Akatsuki stop what they're doing and look up at him attentively. It's almost creepy.

"Meeting. Now," he says simply, sitting on my couch, Konan next to him.

Within seconds -_fucking seconds- _everyone, excluding Tobi, who is still at the park with Kai, is in the living room, on the couches and sprawled on the floor, continuing to bicker like maniacs.

"How the fuck are we supposed to fit everyone in here?" Hidan shouts, bringing the conversation back to the matter at hand.

"It is pretty cramped," Kisame agrees, frowning.

"There's a total of five bedrooms," Kakuzu tells us, "and thirteen people."

"Indeed. Besides which..." Leader turns to look at me scrutinizingly. "It doesn't seem as though you have any parents around."

He's asking for an explanation. Well, too bad. "They left," I say curtly.

"I'm going to need more information than that."

"What for?" I mutter, not wanting to dicsuss this. "They're gone. That's all that matters, man."

"As Leader of the Akatsuki, I order you to give me a full account."

His sudden change of tone catches me off gaurd. My eyes widen in surprise, then narrow in a glare at Leader for throwing his weight around like that, putting me in a position where I have to tell these people things I don't want to. Asshole.

"Ooh, you just got _told," _Kisame snickers.

"Shut up, Kisame, you drink where you piss!" I snap.

While he tries to figure that one out, Deidara decides to open his yap. "Come to think of it, I'm kinda curious about that, too, Tough Girl."

"Blonde Prick, you just suck."

"Aw, you went and hurt my feelings, now we're both in the wrong, un."

"Fuck you!"

Hidan suddenly laughs out loud. "You drink where you piss, I get that now! Nice one!"

He holds out a fist for me to fist-bump, and I do, grinning.

"Guys, seriously," Kisame whines, somewhat miffed. "What's with the constant shark jokes? It's not funny anymore!"

"It's always gonna fucking be funny!"

Leader clears his throat. "I believe I asked you a question, Mari."

Oh yeah. I scowl. "Why do you gotta be such a buzzkill, man?"

"Answer the question," Leader commands.

"Popcorn, un," Deidara whispers. (Why's he sitting next to me, anyways?) I elbow him in the ribs. He snickers.

Leader raises an eyebrow at me, arms crossed. I look away, then force myself to look back at him. "They're both drunks," I say in as detatched of a voice as I can. "We were living with Dad, but he must've got his panties in a wad. He left a few weeks ago, haven't seen him since."

Leader nods thoughtfully. "What would you say are the chances of him, or your mother, returning in the near future?"

I dig my fingernails into my palm, glaring at Leader acidicly. How can he ask that so flippantly, stare at me so apathetically? This is my _life, _goddammit! I really want to scream cuss words at him but I keep control of my temper.

Thank God Kai isn't here. I answer in as even a voice as I can muster, "Probably never."

Leader nods. "Well, that does make things simpler."

It's all I can do not to slap him.

"Kakuzu will forge the necessary paperwork to make it appear that Konan and I are now yours and Kai's legal gaurdians," Leader tells me. Next to him Konan smiles kindly.

My anger yeilds to confusion and I raise an eyebrow. "But you can't be any older that eighteen?"

Leader smirks slightly. "Twenty-three, actually. Did you assume that, just Konan and I attend breakfast, we are also students at Leaf High?"

Actually, yes, that's exactly what I assumed. I sweatdrop, recalling with vague embaressment that, yes, breakfast _is _the only place I've ever seen him at school. "Yeah, well, who _wouldn't _make that assumption?" I mutter.

"Somebody who pay attention," Sasori answers drily.

"Stuff it, ginger."

Sasori gives me his trademark "Nigga Please" look.

"In any case," Leader continues, "it's a relatively simple operation. As far as the _law _is concerned-" He puts a certain sarcastic emphasis on the word 'law'. (I guess because he's so bad he can't even TALK about following the law without acting all disgusted. Poser.) "-we are the legal gaurdians of Itachi and Hidan as well."

I look from Hidan, to Itachi, then to Leader and Konan, before slowly grinning and then chuckling. "_It's a happy little family,_" I singsong.

"Which you are now a part of," Itachi reminds me in monotone.

"Oh yeah. Dammit." Suddenly, an idea comes to me. "Why Hidan and Itachi but no one else, man?"

Leader simply shrugs. "That is for them to tell you if they so choose."

I groan. "Aw, come on, you made me tell!"

"That was a matter of buisness," Leader answers coolly.

I make a face before letting the matter drop. _I'll find out somehow, _I decide.

"Very well. That leaves the matter of sleeping arrangements," Leader says. He looks at me. "Well, Mari...it's your house."

"Huh?" I look at him in confusion, not understanding what he means.

Until Hidan shouts: "I get my own fucking room this time!"

"You're out of your mind!" Kakuzu snaps back.

That's all it takes for the entire Akatsuki to begin squabbling, their aguments slowly rising in decibel until the entire room is a giant madhouse.

Leader catches my eye, then sweeps his hand out to the entire room, as if to say, _It's your problem now. _

I glare at Leader, and he grins smugly at me. Apparently he's the Pimp Leader who can control them as easily as he wants, but for some reason sees it fit to watch me try and take control of the situation instead.

I point at him and mouth "You're gonna get it for this", since I know he can't hear me over the din.

He holds a hand up to his ear mockingly. Konan rolls her eyes and smiles at me apologetically.

By now my living room has evolved into yet another colossal clusterfuck. _Guess it's up to me, _I decide.

"HEY! SHUT THE HELL UP!" I screech.

Predictably, they completely ignore me, although Hidan does have the decency to acknowledge I spoke by flipping me off.

I return it, then glare at the entire idiotic mob before deciding that more drastic measures will have to be taken.

I pick Joseph out of the hullaballoo (that's a fun word, isn't it? Oh, oops, off-topic), make my way toward her, and pull her aside. She of course, is just enjoying the chaos and laughing at everything. I whisper instructions into her ear -noticing that Leader seems to be watching my every move- and she grins. She heads off toward the room we share, and I pull out my iPod.

I push Kisame out of the way of the stereo, ignoring his questioning look, and begin looking for the necessary wires. I find them, plug them into the stereo and iPod, and fiddle with it until it's all hooked up. Grimly I turn up to volume to full blast and navigate to the most irritating song in existance, or well, at least the most irritating one on my iPod.

Right about then, Joseph returns to the living room with a metal baseball bat for both of us. She hands me the green one, chuckling.

I take it, nodding, before bracing myself and pressing 'play'.

"_Don't you wish your girlfriend was-hot-like-me!"_

I cross my arms and glare at the room in displeaseure as the obnoxious sounds fill my living room. I note with slight irritation that Joseph mouths along with tthe words, apparently enjoying herself.

_"Don't you wish your girlfriend was fun, like me?" _

Slowly they all stop arguing, turning toward the stereo in slight confusion and horror. I can practically see "WTF" written all over their faces.

_"Don't you wish your girlfriend was a freak, like me?_

_Don'tcha? Don'tcha?"_

When I'm satisfied that they've all fallen silent, I press pause.

"Don'tcha?" Joseph asks me, snickering.

"Shut up, Joseph. Hey!" I say, addressing the room. "Inside voices, boys_." _

_"_Or what?" Hidan challenges cockily, standing up and staring me down. (Weird. We've been on pretty good terms lately, so he hasn't been acting like as much of a dick. I get the feeling he's showing off for someone...)

Without hesitation I swing my baseball bat around to hit him in the ankle.

"Ow! Fuckin' shit!" he curses, hopping around on one foot comically.

Making full use of my finally-healed ankle, I kick him in the side just enough to make him fall on his butt. "Get back on the ground."

Joseph starts laughing. "Pwnage!"

"You goddamn, motherfucking, asslicking-" Hidan starts cursing, getting into his ranting mode.

"Yeah, yeah, I know," I cut him off, somewhat apologetically. I mean, he _has_ been taking a lot of abuse lately. Well, he should stop being such an annoying fucker. "Look, guys, we're going to need to talk _one - at - a -time_," I saw slowly.

"Fuck you!" Hidan snaps, still pissed.

"Dude. Chill," I say impassively.

"Fuck that! My goddamn ankle hurts!"

I'm about to tell Hidan to stop being a pussy, but Joseph nudges me with her elbow. I pause and look at her.

She leans forward on her baseball bat, facing Hidan and smiling coyly. "Don't tell me you can't take a little pain, Hi-dan-kun?"

My jaw drops. _Whaaaaat the fuuuuuck...?_

"Uh -of -of course I fucking can!" Hidan sputters hurriedly, completely thrown off.

"Good to know." Joseph stands up and throwing her baseball bat over her shoulder, turning to face me cockily, sticking a hip out and grinning.

Temporarily distracted, I continue to give her the "WTF" face. "How did you _do _that?"

"It's called flirting."

I make a face. "Ew."

"Don't hate the player, hate the game."

"...Well, on that disturbing note..." I clear my throat, trying to get back to buisness. "Me, Joseph, and Kai are gonna share the upstairs bedroom. No one dispute this or I shall hit you with this baseball bat."

"That's what they're here for," Joseph clarifies helpfully, swinging hers around in front of her to hold it threateningly.

"No shit, man."

Leader clears his throat. "Konan and I will reside in the bedroom furthest back."

No one disputes this, either, even though that's the largest bedroom on the ground floor. Must be nice to be the boss of everything.

"That leaves three rooms for eight people," Itachi tells him, somehow managing to sound accusatory with absolutely no change of tone.

"Indeed." Leader turns to leave, Konan in tow. "Not my problem."

"The Leader's sassy," Joseph notices, quietly and somewhat ironically. I snort. **(A/N: 21 Jump Street reference, anyone? XD -amy out)**

"What about the rest of us, then?" Kakuzu asks me. (I guess they're taking the cue from Leader that I have final say on this subject. Yay, I'm in charge...)

"Two to a room, and two people sleep in the living room, I guess," I answer.

"But who gets which room?" Sasori asks quietly.

The room falls silent as the eight boys glare at each other briefly.

Joseph's eyes sweep the room and she casually sidesteps out of the way...just in time to avoid being trampled as pandemonium breaks loose.

All the boys jump up at once, fighting to get to the best rooms and claim the for their own, as me and Joseph watch in amusement.

Hidan and Deidara both race toward the hallway leading to my room and Leader's. Immediately Sasori swings his foot out to trip Hidan, and Kakuzu shoots out these -holy shit, are those _tentacles_?- to restrain Deidara. Meanwhile Itachi calmly walks into the bedroom adjoining the living room and kitchen, claiming that one for him and apparently Kisame as well, since Kisame grins and follows him there. (Weasel Dick is simply incapable of looking uncool. Dick.)

Kakuzu and Deidara continue to fight it out as Sasori slink into the room nearest him. I notice Zetsu is nowhere to be seen; where the hell did he go? I guess he gets the living room.

Hidan gets up and ruches into the last remaining bedroom, pushing Kakuzu out of the way -ooh, I have a feeling he's gonna pay for that later on- in his haste. He scrambles into the hallway and I follow, vaugely interested.

He throws open the door and lets loose a howl of rage.

"**Too bad for you, **we were here first," Zetsu tells him in two different voices.

My jaw drops. _How the hell- _

"You fucking cheater!" hidan shouts angrily. "You used your tunneling-bullshit, that doesn't count!"

"We beg to differ. **Too bad, so sad!" **

I shake my head; I'm never going to get used to that. "Can't you just share with him?" I ask Hidan

"We share rooms with our Akatsuki partners, regardless of where headquarters is," Zetsu explain, thankfully staying in one voice and personality.

"Ah. Your partner being..."

**"The idiotic Tobi." **

I groan. "Shit, I forgot about him, man!"

"It's a good thing you got him out of the house for your meeting, un," Deidara tells me conversationally. "He's extremely annoyinhg in serious situations, un."

"I'll bet."

Just then we hear from the living room: "Hidan, you bumbling idiot!" Kakuzu roars.

"It's not MY goddamn fault! Zetsu's a fucking cheating bastard!"

Deidara snorts, I grin, and Joseph shakes her head, laughing.

"Come on, Joseph," I say. "Let's get to work..."

* * *

><p>It only takes them about an hour and a half to put their junk away in their various new rooms. The living room's decor is now considerably more disturbing and Jashinist-themed, courtesy of Hidan. Great, between the skulls and stange symbols all over the place, people are gonna think we're Satanic...although I gotta admit, it does look pretty cool.<p>

Anyways, after I got Deidara to clean up the mess he made in the kitchen, I had to go through a thoroughly boring and frusterating ten minutes discussing "economics" with Kakuzu, which bascially just means he wanted to know how much money we got for foodstamps and how much money Joseph made weekly. This led to an argument about why the fuck he would be allowed to either of this money, ending in me losing my temper, throwing the foodstamps card at him, and telling him to go sell foodstamps fifty cents to the dollar and buy a goddamn life. To which he smiled -I think- and replied, "Pleasure doing buisness with you."

I already have the feeling I fucked up.

As of right now, Kai is getting along _way _too well with the notorious gangbangers, which I find somewhat irritating; he seems to be one of the few who can kick it with Tobi without being inclined to murder him. Plus, his Devious-Little-Shithead personality has endeared most of the Akatsuki to him on some level. As for Joseph, _she_ is continuing to get along way, _way, _WAY too well with Hidan -which I find extremely irritating. They've spent all afternoon chatting it up about weapons and 1000 Ways to Die and Jashinism and horror movies and god -oh, excuse me, _Jashin- _knows what else. Leader and Konan are in the back room. Together. All afternoon. Gee, that doesn't sound suspisious at all, now does it?

Weasel Dick is flipping through some encyclopedia ridiculously fast, since he apparently has a deep inner need to know Everything There Ever Was in the History of Stuff. Kisame is gaming with Sasori on the living room floor, and Kakuzu is counting his money on the kitchen table. Zetsu...I don't know where Zetsu is. Meanwhile, Blonde Prick already found the rest of Dad's liquor and started an impromptu drinking party -"Thank your dad for being a fuckup for me, Tough Girl, un!"- which led to me sending Kai to bed and me glaring vehemently at Joseph, who heartily joined in on the drinking. I didn't out of spite, and plus since it's _fucking Wendsday,_ we have school tomorrow. "I can't wait to see you guys tomorrow, man," I tell them.

"We all know you can't wait to see _me _tomorrow, Tough Girl, un," Deidara slurs.

I flip him off and ignore him. "Joseph, you tired yet?" I ask, since I'm not about to leave her alone, drunk, with nine guys. Especially Hidan. I think he's going into creeper mode.

"Hell no!"

I groan. It's eleven and I want to go to my bedroom and brood.

By the time I finally get my drunk-ass best friend up the stairs to our attic bedroom, it's midnight and she's giggling like a crazy, drunk bitch. "I hope you had fun," I say waspishly.

"Oh, I did," she responds happily. "That Hidan guy is fucking _hot."_

I groan. "Aw, man, you're not gonna-"

"You bet your ass I am! That man is _mine!" _

Well, that's just peachy. I really need more awkwardness in my life right now. "If you want his dick so bad, why didn't you suggest spin the bottle or some shit?" I ask irritably.

"Okay, one," Joseph tells me as she falls face-first onto the bed, "because spin the bottle is gay, and doesn't count as a real kiss."

I snort. "In what way does it not count, man?"

"You'll see...someday. Anyways, and second, you don't pull a slutty move on a guy until the _third time _the two of you are wasted together," she explains sagely. "What kind of a whore do you think I am?"

I sweatdrop. "...You are very much a whore, Joseph."

"A badass whore," she yawns.

"A whore nonetheless."

"Would the two of you shut up?" Kai snaps suddenly, from his new bed in the corner. We both jump. "I'm trying to sleep!"

We pause.

"She started it, man..."

* * *

><p><strong>Clusterfuck is a wonderful word, isn't it? :D <strong>

**This chapter is like the exact opposite of the last one; shittons of action and humor, and pretty much no plot at all. XD Oh well. Enjoy it while you can, becuase the next few chapters will be very serious and dramatic and badass in ways that are not random and chaotic. Spoiler alert, btw.**

**I really have no idea how long it takes for an ankle to heal, but as that was the main reason the story's taken so long to progress, I'm just gonna go with it. I probably should've thought about this before I made the injury happen. Hehe, oops.**

**And, hey, Kai actually got a couple scenes in this chapter :3 **

**Review, or Deidara will blow up a bag of fruit in YOUR kitchen, and Mari won't make him clean it up, so he'll just sit there laughing his ass off while he watches YOU do it! So FUCKING REVEIW. **

**-amy out**


	27. What I'm Made Of

**Finally, I get to upload this! This scene has been written for almost three months, no exaggeration.**

**Also, you know that fic I mentioned, An Angel, A Devil, and the Akatsuki by blackcatgirl? Me and her are writing a crossover fic of her fic and mine, called Angels, Devils and Ipods, mainly to be able to write scenes where our OCs bicker a lot. Please read and review it -along with her original story, of course.**

**Lyrics from This is War by 30 Seconds to Mars, City by Hollywood Undead, and 21 Guns by Greenday.**

* * *

><p>I'm jostled up and down as we drive over potholes in the ghetto pavement, making me struggle to keep my balance while holding onto the rifle I've been given. The gun feels disturbingly right in my hands, like in the back of my mind it's always belonged there. I look behind me at Deidara, who is readying his various tools for easier use, in equal silence. He glances up at me staring at him and grins. "Try not to die, un."<p>

I give him the finger and turn back around.

This is supposedly the safest job for a first-timer; we're supposed to provoke Oto into sending their guys out to retaliate, then shoot them so we can fight them on foot. Excitement, adrenaline, and fear courses through me, running through my veins, resonating in the tips of my fingers and my pounding heart. Within seconds we'll be on Oto's streets, surrounded my gunfire from the gang we're attacking, and I'll beshooting everything and everybody I see from the back of this pickup truck. This is the most real life ever feels - I feel like I'm taking in every detail from the jagged cracks in the sidewalk whizzing by to the moths flying around the dusty streetlights -the most alive I've felt in a long time.

_It's the moment of truth_

_The moment to lie_

_The moment to live_

_And the moment to die_

I cock the gun I've been given, and think again at how it feels oddly natural in my hands, considering I just learned how to use one yesterday. _I could die tonight, _I think, full of thrill and fear. _This could be my last night. _

This is the moment between excitement or terror, the deciding moment. Fear or thrill?

_The moment to fight_

_The moment to fight_

_To fight _

_To fight _

_TO FIGHT! _

"Almost there," I mutter to myself, seeing the cars of the rest of my team drive in front of us, shooting and being shot out in the rapidly approaching distance.

I didn't mean for him to hear me, but Deidara turns to face me anyways, a slight smirk on his face but a question in his eyes. "Scared, hm?"

I look him in the eye as something snaps in me, the fire rises up in my gut, replacing my blood with something hotter and lighter, releasing the one solid need, to _destroy. _"Shitless," I answer, grinning. "But what would be the fun f I wasn't?"

I don't wait for his reaction. We're on Oto's streets now, and I'm ready to finally, _finally _give into the urge I've been repressing for years...I forget that I didn't want to be a part of this, that I don't want to be here, I forget who's around me, I even forget my name. There's no past and no future...there's only this second, this moment, and in this moment my only objective is to destroy. I'm going to leave this street as a huge smoking crater...there will be nothing left.

_My body doused in ash_

_With two empty cans of gas _

I fire into shop windows, shattering them, the sounds of breaking glass and shouts and gunshots and what I think might even be a distant Hidan dropping f-bombs filling the air. I hear exhilarated laughter and I'm not sure if it's mine or Deidara's.

_The only evidence they have _

_Is a police sketch of my mask_

I see a guy with a gun running down the sidewakl on my side, toward us. Without thinking I point my gun toward him, aim, and fire three times.

Miss. Miss. Hit.

He falls to the ground.

_And it's hard at times to ask_

_If you can save my heart for last_

I go back to shooting windows.

_And it's hard to face the facts_

_When the darkness fades to black_

"Get down, un!"

I don't even have time to register what he's said before Deidara hooks an arm around my shoulder and yanks me painfully to the ground. We both fall into the bed of the pickup a half second before a huge explosion lights up the night sky as we drive by, flames licking the top of the truck where my face had just been.

"Uh, thanks?"

"Don't mention it, un."

The car suddenly swerves to the right, sending us crashing into the metal side of the bed of truck. I hit my head so hard I see stars for a second. "Ow! Shit! Get off, man!" I snap at Deidara, who landed on top of me and is now crushing the hell out of my lungs.

"What the hell, un!" he shouts as he rolls off of me. I look up, rubbing my head, in time to see the back window slam open and a very pissed-off looking Kisame poke his head through, snarling and glaring.

"Goddammit, Deidara!" he snaps. "That could've killed us all!"

"YOLO, Sharkbait!" he answers, laughing maniaclly.

I snort as I go back to shooting buildings, because the rest of the gang seems to be taking care of the people, but soon bullets aren't enough.

_Let's watch this city burn_

_From the skylines on top of the world_

_Till there's nothing left in her_

_Let's watch this city burn the world_

I want to burn down this whole street, I want no survivors, and usually I would force myself to take that thought back, but now the seconds are passing to quickly for anything but raw instinct. I duck down, out of the range of fire to check out Deidara'a stock of explosive shit; the faggot doesn't mess around. I don't really get what all of this is for, but see glass bottles and Kerosene, so it looks like Molotovs it is.

"Cover me, man," I shout as I start manufacturing a whiskey bomb.

He glances back briefly. "Use the plastic gloves, un. No fingerprints, tough girl."

_Wow, these guys really know their shit, _I think absently as I pull the gloves on. I doubt the cops will be able or willing to peice together broken shards of bottles, but apparently they don't take chances. I pour the slick liquid into the bottle and stuff a rag into the top tightly enough that it won't spill. I wipe my hands on my jeans to get rid of kerosene I spilt, hold the bottle in my left hand, and grab an orange lighter from the ground.

I look up as I start to light the makeshift fuse and see a group of maybe five men, shooting at us and the car in front of us.

The rag ignites and I throw it at the sidewalk in front of them, effectively trapping them in a ring of fire. I'm dimly aware that I'm grinning as I pick up my gun and watch them jump through the flames, dropping their own weapons in order to douse the fire on their clothes and on their comrades'.

One of them looks at me in hatred, lifts his gun, and fires, before I have time to register.

For a split second I think I'm about to die, until the truck we're in screeches to a halt and the two of us go flying into to rest of the truck.

"They shot out the tire, un!" Deidara shouts as the doors open and Kisame, Itachi and Sasori jump out of the front of the car. Deidara grabs a handful of...whatever it is he has a trckload of, before jumping out the side and looking back at me expectantly. "Coming?"

"What about the truck?"

"Leave it, un!"

I jump out, too, following the others as I see them head for the Oto members, fistfighting among flames and gunshots.

One of them comes running at me, bareheanded. I don't have time to aim -instinctively I weild my rifle like a club and swing it at his head. He blocks it with his forearm and I raise my leg up and kick him in the stomach as hard as I can. Luckily for me, this guy isn't the bulkiest of guys out here and doubles over in pain. It's only a second's hesitation, but it's enough; I raise my gun over my head and bring it down on his with a _crunch. _

He falls to the ground...and doesn't get up.

I turn to fight someone else, the details of each fight fading into oblivion. I kick, punch, claw, fight, get thrown down, kicked, and jump back up, not pausing for a second. Fighting for my life, it's like all the pain I carry around with me just...fades. I don't feel fractured, I don't feel sick inside, I feel strong and exalted, I feel like I'm flying. Even when one of their hits connect (and believe me, even in this short period many do, I have the bruises the next morning to prove it) the pain is searing, but it's not bad, somehow, it's just part of the fight. My mind feels seperated from my aching ribs and left side of my head, from the fear coursing around the outside of my mind like cold water.

"Run!"

I don't know who said it, but I see the other Akatsuki in their black cloaks running up the street, and I follow unquestioning, the outside of my mind noticing that no one seems to be around us but sensing people are behind us.

"What's the plan?" Sasori asks, incredibly calm -more fleeting than running like hell.

"We're to catch a ride with Hidan and Kakuzu and rendevous with Leader," Itachi answers, not missing a beat.

"In other words, _haul ass!" _Kisame laughs, speeding up.

I taste blood in my mouth, like you do when you run for a long time, as we round a corner and the others start to pull slightly ahead of me. _Damn I'm out of shape. _Guns are surprisingly heavy to run with.

This is when I pull the biggest jackass move of all time -_I fall down. _

Yep, that's right. Mortal danger, being chased by guys with guns and knives, within seconds of reaching relative safety, and I choose _now _to be a klutz and sprawl on the pavement.

"Fuck me!" I curse, jumping back up and picking my gun back up, ignoring my stinging palms and knees. I look behind me and see I've lucked out; no one's in sight. Yet.

I keep running, to catch up with the rest of my group -noting with slight embaressment that they stopped to wait for me. The second I catch up they start running again, Deidara looking at me and sniggering. "Try and stay on your feet, un."

"Shut up!" I snap. "You guys didn't have to wait for me, man!"

"Of course we did," Kisame scoffs. "We don't leave anybody behind."

"I'm touched."

We run up to a black hummer, the door opening and an overjoyed-looking Hidan jumping out of the front seat with a machine gun. "Hey," he says, flipping us off in greeting and grinning like a maniac. "Hurry up and get in, the fuckers are right behind you!"

Gunshots and shouting...I'm no longer fighting, I'm terrified. I speed up as fast as I can, toward our getaway car.

"I'll cover you!" he shouts over the sound of gunfire -_bam bam bam. _

Itachi slides into the backseat first, climbing around to open the back tailgate as Hidan continues to fire at whoever it is that's chasing us, laughing all the while. Sasori deftly jumps into the car as well, closing the door behind him. Deidara climbs into the back -almost there-

All of a sudden Hidan stumbles back, and my attention shifts to him as I run toward the car. His gun falls to the ground as he crumples, and a splotch of red starts to grow over his abdomen.

All these images seem to run through my mind like the universe has started speaking a different language I don't speak; I know the words exist and how they sound, but I'm at a complete loss as to what they mean.

Then, seconds later, my brain makes the connection.

Hidan got shot.

I remember shouting something here, but I can't remember what it was -probably a string of swear words- as I start to change directions to run toward my fallen friend-

"No, he's fine!" Kisame grabs my wrist and yanks it toward the Hummer, making it feel like my arm's being pulled out of its socket when my momentum catches up to me.

"Dammit -lemme go-" That's all I have time to say before Kisame picks me up (annoyingly easily, by the way) and straight-up _tosses_s me into the back of the Hummer.

"NNGH holy crap!"

I think Deidara was supposed to catch me or something, but all he really does was sit between me and the seat when I go crashing into it, and of course laugh at my expense.

"Blonde Prick -move it, asstard-" I snarl as I try to get up. (See, I landed kind of in his lap, so even though some pretty serious shit was going down I still managed to get a certain amount of pissed.)

He pulls me back into him, though, away from the door. "Watch your feet, un."

Kisame slams the trunk shut. Deidara takes exactly half a second too long to release me, so I shove his face into the window.

"You _bitch, _un!"

"What about Hidan, man?" I ask -ignoring Blonde Prick- as Kisame jumps into the front seat, slamming the door.

"What _about _him?" Kakuzu counters from the front seat, revving the engine and beginning to speed away.

My mouth drops open in outrage -I knew they were total bastards, but that's one of their own! "He just got _shot _you fucking assholes!"

Deidara snickers. "Oh, yeah, you don't know yet, do you, Tough Girl?"

"Know what, man?"

"Just watch, un," he tells me, pointing out the back window to where Hidan lies, bleeding.

The four Oto douches who had picked themselves up from the skirmish and had been following us were slowing down, approaching Hidan. They look from us, escaping and out of their reach, to Hidan, who seems to be either dead or dying. Their glares at our car morph into self-satisfied grins as one of them -the quickest- starts to lean down toward Hidan maliciously...

Even from a hundred feet away, over the roar of the engine, I can see Hidan's shit-eating grin and hear him shout "PSYCHE, MOTHERFUCKER!" as he grabs the guy's face, catching him by surprise, and slams it into the ground.

My mouth drops open and Kakuzu slams on the brakes in the same instant, sending me and Deidara tumbling backwards. I scrambleback up in time to hit my forehead on the windshield as Kakuzu goes into reverse, picking up speed. I watch wide-eyed as Hidan, still with what looks like a life-threatening bullet wound, proceeds to beat the shit out of the other three guys, laughing like the maniac he is.

Until we're suddenly right in front of them, and I realize what Kakuzu's about to do with horror. I let out a shrill yelp as we hit both the Oto _and _Hidan full-on, sending them flying.

"Holy _shit_, man!"

Deidara snickers at my reaction.

"It's not funny, you dick!" I snap, watching Hidan hit the ground and roll, and skid like roadkill. "You just _ran him over_!"

"Wait for it, un."

To my complete shock and bewilderment, Hidan groans and pushed himself to his knees, turning around to glare at us. "What the fuck, Kakuzu!" he shouts, bloody, scratched, and banged-up, but still very much alive.

Kakuzu steps on the gas again briefly, as if to hit him again. "You should've gotten out of the way. Loot 'em and load up, Hidan."

"Un-fucking-believable..." Hidan muttersas he gets to his feet and starts going through Oto's pockets, picking up guns, wallets and knives -limping all the while.

I think my right eye has to be at least twice as big as my left as I watch this. _Total. Mindfuck. _

"See, he was playing possum," Deidara tells me, still laughing at my confusion. "He'll complain like a bitch PMS-ing, but he'll be fine tomorrow morning, and he sure as hell won't die. I'll be sure to tell him how worried you were, though, un."

"_How_ are you not dead, man?!" I ask as Hidan climbs into the backseat of the Hummer next to Sasori and Itachi. (_Damn they're quiet. I totally forgot they existed for a minute and a half.)_

He turns to face me, grinning like a fucking boss, purple eyes glittering, face splattered with blood. "Power of Jashin, heathen bitch!"

"Say what?"

"I'm immortal," he brags. "You can kill me again and again but I'll never die! Ha HA HA HA HA!"

"Uh...alrighty then..."

* * *

><p>We arrive thirty minutes later at some unremarkable-looking house in the ghetto, and I feel a definite sense of anitclimax. It's painted an obnoxious color of purple-brown, paint peeling, one window broken, the lawn more dirt than grass. Two other cars are already pulled in, the green car Deidara's been using in the driveway and some huge badass-looking red truck in the front. They look oddly out-of-place, so nice and glossy even with scattered bullet holes in them, somehow emphasizing how shitty the neighborhood is.<p>

"How many cars do you guys _have?" _

Deidara snorts derisively. "As many as we want, un."

We all climb out of the crowded car, Sasori silently walking around to open the trunk so me and Deidara can jump out.

"So where are we, man?" I ask as Kakuzu turns the Hummer off and we begin to walk toward the house.

"Our rendezvous point," Itachi answers plainly.

"Well, no shit, Captain Obvious," I retort. "I _mean-"_

"You will find out soon enough," Itachi cuts me off, an impatient edge slipping into his usually smooth voice.

I look at him oddly, then around at everyone else. I notice for the first time a change in their demeanor. No one's making dumb jokes at one another's expense or generally acting like the dicks I know them to be. All of them, even Hidan, are silent and unnaturally serious, stony-faced, heading toward the front door.

For some reason this really gives me the creeps -after all, I've been mostly taking my cues from them all night, since they know what they're doing more than I do at this point- and a small, cold tremor of fear and anticipation manifests itself in my stomach.

When I follow Sasori and Deidara into the house, I become even more unnerved.

The entire living room (and probably the rest of the house as well) is completely wrecked. The TV is smashed in the top right corner, the couch is overturned, a bookshelf is knocked down, pillows, beer bottles, books and an ashtray and its contents are scattered all over the already-skanky-looking brown carpet.

Leader stands directly in front of me, Konan at his side. Tobi and Zetsu stand silently to his left -Tobi waves happily but says nothing. Leader crosses his arms and regards me silently.

We make eye contact for a second before he turns his attention to Itachi. "Itachi -report."

"Mission successful."

_Wow, these guys really take themselves seriously. _I bite my lip to stop myself from making some kind of a smartassed comment.

Leader nods. "And our newest member."

"She is sufficient."

Jesus Christ. _'Sufficient'? _He talks like he's a sixty-nine-year-old war general, rather than a junior in a rich kid's high school. I catch eyes with Deidara and he rolls his eyes at me, indicating he feels the same way.

Leader nods seriously. "Good. In that case..."

He pauses, turning his gaze back to me, and I'm acutely aware of the soft _snick _of the door locking behind me. I take a deep breath as the Akatsuki assemble themselves in a semicirle around me, with Leader in the center.

"...It is time for your initation, Mari."

Even though I'm in less fanger than I've been in all night, my heart rate speeds up. I can hear every beat in the back of my head, competing with my frantic thoughts for my attention. I'm gripped suddenly by a silent, solemn certainty -a sense of foreboding that something major is about to happen.

I swallow, darting my eyes from Leader to Itachi to the other stone-faced members of the gang. "Initiation, huh?"I ask, struggling to keep my voice indifferent.

"Yes. Konan -arm her." Leader orders calmly, watching as Konan obliges and solemnly hands me a handgun (Kakuzu collected the one I had earlier on the drive here).

I accept it suspiciously. "Why?"

Leader doesn't answer, but his eyes don't leave mine. "Bring the captive."

Kakuzu silently evters the doorway behind Leader as we continue our staredown. I hole the smoot, cold gun in my right hand, my left on my hip as I raise an eyebrow and try to detect a hint in his multicolred eyes, an explanation, anything. He only stares back revealing nothing, answering none of my questions as Kakuzu re-enters the room. My eyes widen in shock as I see he is pushing a handcuffed figure in, none too gently, with much blue clothing and a bag over their head. Even more worrying is that the figure doesn't look hurt, but is putting up no resistance, only resigndedly submitting to the rough treatment.

As if they know how futile it would be.

I try not to show how freaked out I am as Kakuzu forces them to their knees, grabs the bag from over their head and yanks it off to reveal a girl, gagged and silently fearful, with brown hair and-

My eyes widen in shock.

"I believe you know this girl?" Leader asks.

"Yeah..." I say quietly, then clear my throat and speak up. "Yeah. She's the girl who broke my ankle."

Leader nods. "So I'm told...she was one of our main targets tonight. She is, well, something similar to a captain in the Oto ranks. She directs their members toward their targets, gives them orders, things like that. She also specializes in torture. Or, rather, she _did_."

I raise an eyebrow. "Why the ominous use of past tense?"

Leader regards me in silence for a second, before suddenly saying in a sharp, commanding voice, "Shoot her."

I swallow, trying to ignore the girl's sound of terror. The universe is doing that speaking-in-a-different-language thing again, and I'm sure I must have heard wrong, because surely he can't mean what I think he does, can he? "Uh...y-you don't mean-"

"Yes, I do. This is your initiation. Kill her."

Oh shit, shit shit, shitshitshitshitshit..."No."

Leader tilts his head, but doesn't look surprised. Maybe he expected this. "And why not?"

"What do you mean _why not?" _I snap, aware my voice is slipping into hysteria. "So what if she broke my ankle, that doesn't mean she deserves to die, man!"

Leader rolls his eyes. "Mari, do you honestly think we would go this far just for _that? _No, her attack on you is just the tip of the iceberg. To our knowledge, she has personally tortured and killed nine people, three of them civilians, and under her orders countless others have died. She is a murderer."

"So turn her into the cops."

Hidan makes a skeptical sound behind me, but doesn't speak. Leader ignores him and explains: "Any evidence we have would be called circumstantial, and it would incriminate us even further in the eyes of the law...this is the only way."

I'm tempted to argue more, to challenge exactly how they know that, to demand proof, but I know that would just be stalling. I may not trust these guys, I may hate having been forced to be a part of this, but I know they're legit. If they say they have proof, I believe them.

I try to force down panic as I start to picture exactly what it is I'm being asked to do. "It's still wrong," I insist, struggling to keep my voice even. "To kill her, just because of what _we _believe?" (I hate that I just used the word 'we'...)

"Would it be any less wrong to let her free, to kill again, just to avoid getting blood on our hands?"

_Why does he have to be so goddamn smart? _I grit my teeth, trying desperately to think of words to explain why it's wrong, why it _has _to be, even though I'm sure he doesn't care. "She's still a person! What if she changes, becomes better?"

"True enough, but will you be willing to take responsibility for every innocent life she takes if she doesn't, because you had the chance to kill her and didn't?" Leader raises an eyebrow. "Do you honestly believe she doesn't deserve to die?"

"That's not my decision to make!" I snap hotly.

"You didn't make the decision...I did. You're just carrying it out."

"Well, what gives you the right to say who lives and who dies? What gives you the right..." I swallow, trying to keep control of myself. "...To play god?"

To my astonishment, Leader smiles...a twisted, almost sad smile. "This is no game...I _am_ a god."

Ooookay then. This guy's nuts. "You're out of your mind," I mutter.

"That...is debateable. The point is, we've wasted enough time already. I don't usually make a habit of arguing with my subordinates over orders." He narrows his eyes at me, and points at the girl on the ground. "Shoot her!"

I swallow, eyes stinging, but I'm past worrying about anyone seeing me cry. The girl on the ground is crying...not loudly, but now that we've stopped talking I can tell. She's terrified, and it's my fault...no, it's theirs, I don't want to be doing this, but does it matter? I'm the one holding the gun...At this point she's not a murdered to me, the person who broke my ankle, she's just a crying, scared girl.

I don't want to kill her.

But at the same time, even I know there's no chance she'll get out of here alive tonight. The Akatsuki want her dead, and they don't care who does it, they just gave me the order. If _I _don't, _they_ will, and they'll probably kill me too if I don't. I can even see the gun in Leader's hand, although he's relaxed...there's no way I could escape before he would shoot me.

I don't want to kill, but sometimes it's necessary. Because no matter what I may have said before, I don't think a person can come back from being a cold-hearted killer, not unless they want to, and I have the power right now to end that. Toe nd a person who I'm sure will do nothing bad for the world. As for what it means for me, well, that's not my main concern right now.

All this goes through my mind in a matter of seconds. I gulp again, raising the gun toward her hand, trying to summon my courage.

_Nothing's ever built to last, you're in ruins..._

It's now or never, I tell myself, fingering the trigger-

-before I quickly raise the gun to eye level, aim at Leader's head, and fire.

* * *

><p><strong>THE CLIFFHANGER OF DOOM! Was that worth the wait, or not?<strong>

**Yeah, Hidan's most badass scene takes place in this chapter, along with a shitton of seriousness.**

**At any rate, review the crap out of this and I'll upload the next chapter sooner! (I already have it written! :P) And don't remember to update mine and blackcatgirl's new fic -I mean it!**

**-amy out**


	28. Gunshots and Cruel Plans

**Can't stand to keep you guys in suspense any longer. :) **

**Lyrics from Set Apart This Dream by Flyleaf, So Cold by Breaking Benjamin, and You're Gonna Go Far Kid by Offspring.**

* * *

><p>Alright, look.<p>

When one is given a gun, all solemn and whatnot, and told to shoot a person, one pretty myuch assumes it's a real FREAKING bullet inserted in it, and not a blank.

Also, when one shoots a person with a gun which they are more or less positive is loaded and deadly, and feels the gun kick back and hears the loud crack, one more or less assumes tht the person in question is dead.

And when one sees the unimpressed figure of the person they thought they'd just killed, it's not entirely inconceivable that they may think it's a ghost.

And when one thinks they've seen a ghost, I'm pretty freaking sure they're entitled to freak out, fling the gun at the apparition's face, and bolt.

I _wish _I could say I was being hypothetical.

Thank God I didn't actually scream "ghost" or anything, except I might've amde some sort of strangled noise. And when Kisame grabbed my arms to keep me from running, I let loose with some pretty choise insults. But I didn't scream "ghost", so I'd say I kept my cool pretty well.

"Well done, Mari," Leader tells me tonelessly.

This makes me stop struglling in order to stare at Leader with suspicion and confusion. I just tried to _kill _the guy, I expected him to smite my ass right there and then, but instead he goes, "well done"?

He explains: "Part one of the initiation process -a test of your morals and instincts under pressure- is complete. You pass."

"Goody."

I hear Deidara snicker slightly.

My brain's slowly catching up to the situation, like my mental cogs are gummed up with molasses. "So...the bullet was a blank?"

"Figure that out all on your own, didja?" Kakuzu asks sarcastically.

"Why even give me a blank like that?" I ask, starting to get pissed. "Do you just like to fuck with people's heads!"

"No," he answers calmly. "As I already said, this was a test. You are able to take life outside of dangerous situations, but not enthusiastic to. You are willing to endanger your own life, and kill, for the greater good -in this case, shooting the man you considered most likely to kill others."

Did they just...Yes, they did.

The bastards tricked me."How do you know I didn't just shoot you because I was pissed?"

"You're too idealistic for that," he says, waving away my question. He continues to stare at me, though, and his qaze is no longer impassive, but intensed, focus...scary. "However," he said slowly, as he starts to load the handgun I threw at him a minute ago, "your initation isn't over yet. Everything I've said up to now is true...I gave you an order, and I expect it to be followed."

Motherfucker! I grit my teeth, trying to keep control of myself...that motherfucking, sadistic, egotistical son of a bitch! "Why should I believe you? After all that-"

Leader raises his gun to the wall and fires three times, making me jump a little and hope no one noticed. I look and see three little bullet holes, a little triangle. "There is one bullet left," he tells me, kicking it across the floor.

"Aren't you worried I really will shoot you?"

By the time my sentence is over, three guns are pointed at me; Leader's, Konan's, and Itachi's.

"No."

Fuckedy fuck. There is no way I'll have time to point the gun at anyone but the girl...or myself.

I dismiss that option immediately. Suicide is not an option; if I die tonight, I'll die fighting. But is it really worth it, to throw my life away, for a fight I'm entirely positive I won't win?

I think it would be...if it weren't for Kai. I have to be there for him, at all costs. Joseph could take care of him -no, it wouldn't be the same. I can't abandon him the way they did.

I can't die here. "You're a real cheerful bunch, huh?" I say as I lean down to pick up the gun. I haven't yet let myself fully consider what I'm about to do, what seems to be the only option, but my body is acting instinctively. I open the gun to be sure that it's a real bullet, not a blank -Joseph showed me how to tell the difference- and see that it is.

Fuck.

I can tell there's no way out this time, no tricks...this is for real. My heart is thumping insanely, and part of me is panicking, but also a part of me is calm and cool and determined, telling me exactly what I need to do and how. My body wants to run and jump and fight, but my mind is strangely calm, which is really weird for me. I could sit perfectly still and decide what needs to be done if I needed to.

But I don't.

Now that I'm truly faced with the reality of the situation, that either I will die or both of us will, my strangely-icy-calm mind has delivered a verdict, through waves of fear and disgust. She will die no matter what. I am a better person than her. If I die it'll hurt Kai, it'll hurt Joseph, and I won't be around to fight anymore, for what needs to be done in the world...Letting myself die without a fight just to avoid doing this, is wrong.

The question is, now that I've decided that, will I be able to follow through? And even if I can, what kind of person would I have to become to do it?

I have to struggle to keep my breathing steady. The silence is ringing in my ears, I hate silence, I want this moment to be over. I know the people around me are watching me, and as always I don't want to appear weak, but I can't concentrate on that right now. Exhaustion, a hot strong desire to end it all sinks its teeth into me. I don't _want_ to be here, about to kill a person, especially since (now that I think about it) I've probably already killed someone when we were out brawling with Oto earlier, in cold blood. _I don't want to be a killer...I want to go home! _I'm so tired, and so afraid, and I don't deserve this, and I want to run, run far away from here, or better yet be at home and safe and warm, and there's only one way for that to happen -only one way out- and it's in my sweating palm, hanging at my side.

This all runs through my head in less than a minute, but it feels so much longer. No one seems to have moved while I was thinking, no, scratch that, spiraling.

I look up at Leader again. There's no compassion in his eyes...just a challenge.

Words fall out of my mouth of their own accord. "If I do this I'll never be the same."

_Close your eyes_

I don't need an answer, I know it's true.

_Pretty girl_

I point the gun at the girl's head, looking her in the eyes. She's crying, she's in pain, she's lost all hope, and it's my fault.

_Because it's easier_

It's painful to look at but I don't look would be wrong to avoid klnowing exactly what this act entails.

_When you brace yourself_

Waiting will only make it harder.

_Set your thoughts_

My finger's on the trigger.

_On a world far-off_

_Where we only cry_

_For joy_

I shoot, point-blank.

I look away after a second, but the image is still burned permenantly into my mind. Tears still run off her cheeks, but not her eyes, her face frozen in her last expression of misery and terror. As she hits the ground, blood drips out of a round ugly whole in the left of her forehead.

She's dead...and right now, I wish I were too.

There's dead silence, although I can feel the change in the atmosphere; every bit as serious, but nowhere near as tense. I search myself to see if I might cry, and I don't think I will. The gunshot broke some kind of, _barrier_ inside me, releasig an ugly rush of power. I consider dropping the gun but decide against it.

Leader finally speaks up. "I won't insult you by congratulating what you've done here. This...is not something to be proud of. But it is a necessary evil."

"You're insane, man," I say numbly.

He stares at me. "_You _were the one who pulled the trigger, Mari."

I bit my tongue and close my eyes to keep myself from screaming obsceneties.

"In any case, you are now an offcial Akatsuki trainee. That gun is your to keep."

"Thanks."

"Your membership ring," he says, holding out a black and red ring with my name written on it in kanji. I accept it and stare at it blankly for a second. Suddenly I have a rush of hatred for it, for what it represnts.

I will not wear this. I will not accept being an Akatsuki.

I slip in into my pocket and meet Leader's gaze, unafraid even as he narrows his eyes at the implications.

"This is your one and only warning," he says, turning away from me. "Because tonight was your initation, I've been willing to allow a certain amount of...insubordination. But make no mistake, if I ever again witness you blatantly disobeying my orders, you_ will _regret it. That's a promise. And I hope for your sake you aren't idiotic enough to _ever _make an attempt on my life, or any other Akatsuki's, ever again." His voice is lined with poison and straight-up intimidation.

"Whatever." I can tell I'm pushing it, but at the moment I don't care.

"Your taining will commence next week."

"Training?" I ask, momentarily confused.

"Well, yes," Leader answers, as if this were obvious. "We must be in prime condition, vitually unstopable. We follow a training curriculum similar to that of the shinobi."

I snort. "So, what, you want me to learn to walk on water and shit like that?"

"Not exactly." He turns back to face me. "Before we return, there's one more decision you need to make."

"Shoot."

"You have to have someone be in charge of your training, teaching you how the Akatsuki operates. He'll be your sempai, of sorts."

I scowl. I don't want a teacher, especially not one of _these _people. "Can't Konan do it?"

She smiles kindly at me. "We've already picked out the two ideal partners.

"Gee, thanks."

"Would you rather be partnered with Itachi and Kisame, or Deidara and Sasori?" Leader asks, all buisnesslike.

I make a face. "Can't I just be with Hidan?" I ask, since we're pretty much friends by now, even if he's an asshole. Once I realize what I've said I mutter, "And I am officially in hell."

"Would you prefer Itachi or Deidara to be your teacher?" Leader asks, ignoring me.

Damn it to hell. I hate both of them. But I guess if there's not really a good choice, I'd rather have to listen to Weasel Dick than Deidara. Itachi probably wouldn't hold it over my head all the time, as I'm sure Deidara would. But then again, I might rather be bugged than have Itachi freak my mind the way he does. I look toward Deidara.

He's smirking.

For some reason, this makes me absolutely _livid._ I am _not _going to let hiim have the satisfaction, that bastard. "Itachi," I say on impulse.

Deiara's face falls.

"Very well," Leader nods. "Itachi, you are in sharge of ensuring Mari is trained sufficiently."

"Hn."

I glance at him. Oh, hell. What did I just do?

* * *

><p><em>"You're so cold, keep your hand in mine…"<em>

The car radio of Itachi's truck blares out Breaking Benjamin as he drives toward our house, no, _my _house, me in the passenger seat. I thank God for the music filling what would otherwise be an excruciating silence. An involuntary shudder goes down my back, as sometimes happens when I listen to certain amazing songs.

_"Wise men wonder while strong men die!"_

I look out the window and watch the darkened concrete scenery fly by, facing away from Weasel Dick on the off chance he happens to be giving a damn for some reason...Wow, just wow, this night's been so crazy. This song is my firmest grip on the moment...

_"Show me how it ends it's alright  
>Show me how defenseless you really are!"<em>

In light of the fact that I might have killed several people tonight -and I _enjoyed _it, at times- shouldn't I be feeling guilty? Ashamed? More than just a twinge of discomfort over not being as guilty as I think I should. I hate shame, but anything would be better than this cold, empty feeling in my gut. This quiet, this still. Anything other than noise and motion is, as a rule, bad. Crappy.

_"Satisfied and empty inside  
>Well, that's alright, let's give this another try!"<em>

I tap my fingers along to the beat, willing the rock song to penetrate my soul, to fill my thoughts so it's all I think about. I don't want to think about earlier tonight, or what will happen later, or the awkard silence between me and the driver of this car. I don't want to think, period. _"If you find your family, don't you cry_  
><em>In this land of make-believe, dead and dry..."<em>

_"You're so cold, but you feel alive,"_ I whisper along to the song, making the cold window mist up slightly. "_Lay your hand on me one last time..." _

I am cold now. Cold, hard, ruthless...a killer. Then again, I must've been like this for a while, right? You don't just suddenly become someone who can murder others in cold blood and not be all guilty and shit about it. Not that I want to be all freaking out and fainting over it or anything stupid like that -but still. Now that I think about it, I pretty much consider my ruling element to be fire...but apparently inside I actaully have always been cold. Ice.

_"Show me how it ends, it's alright..."_

Oddly enough, I don't feel strong. I feel dangerous, like I could end up causing a lot of pain, but not strong. I feel like a pipe bomb, which before I would've thought would be badass. And it sounds badass. But...A lump has formed in my throat, and on the inside I am a mess. Weak and alone...I guess I've been a mess inside for awhile. Underneath my attitude-

"_Show me how defenseless you really are..." _

Another involuntary shudder. Defenseless. I shouldn't be defenseless, but that's what I am. Very strong and tough in some areas, but also totally vulnerable and defenseless in others.

I sound like a little bitch, goddammit.

I don't want to think about this. As badass as Breaking Benjamin is, I need a fast song. I grab my iPod -hooked up to the stereo- and choose a new song: "_Show me how to lie  
>You're getting better all the time<em>  
><em>And turning all against the one<br>Is an art that's hard to teach..." _

If Itachi cares that I changed it, he makes no indication of it. I mouth along to the words, still facing out the window.

* * *

><p><strong>Deidara<strong>

Deidara was PISSED.

He sat, glaring out the window as they drove away from the crime scene. It would take quite a bit longer to get home, accounting for Sasori's 'diversionary tactics'. Danna was so damn cautious. Didn't he know it's not _really _dangerous unless the cops were within a hundred yards? Besides, Deidara was in the mood for a gunfight right about now. Well, another one. He needed to blow some shit up.

Immediately.

_How dare that stupid bitch choose Weasel Dick? _He asked himself for the millionth time. _I am WAY cooler than him! Shit! _

Deidara had thought Tough Girl hated the Uchiha. He'd thought he was a shoe-in. He'd already been contemplating the possibilities of gettting to train a new bomber, of teaching Tough Girl about true art. Not to mention that being her superior held a whole appeal of its own. He'd be able to hold it over her head when he felt like making her really pissed off. He'd been grinning at the idea of getting a "student" who wasn't Tobi.

And then the little tease chose the Uchiha over him!

He couldn't get over it, it was that infuriating. The emo bastard always won everything, every single damn thing there was! It was _his _fault Deidara had to deal with these freaks-

HEY! Wait a second! Hold the fucking phone! It was the Uchiha's fault Tough Girl had to deal with them, too, and yet she STILL chose him over Deidara. What. The. Hell? Deidara knew how much she resented Weasel Dick for forcing her into it, he'd seen how pissed off she was when she found out about it.

It'd been funny.

And that was another thing! The Uchiha was such an _asshole. _Deidara was maybe a little rude, but come on, Tough Girl knew he was kidding. Well, okay, he wasn't kidding, and she knew it, but at he at least had never killed his entire family and discarded the evidence. By his standards, he'd been very nice to her. He hadn't jumped her when she'd punched him. He'd planned to, but after witnessing the ass-kicking she handed on a silver platter to Moegi and Hai he'd decided to keep her around rather than beat her into submission. She was more entertaining, and therefore worth more, that way.

Or so he'd thought. That's why he'd cut her so much slack these days, because he thought it would be to his advantage. It wasn't like she was worth anything to him other than entertainment. _Apparently, _she was too retarded to even know that Deidara was way cooler, more badass, and sexier than Weasel Dick and so therefore she should always choose him, Deidara, over the Uchiha. Always.

Deidara was -as much as he hated to admit it- embaressed he'd been nice. He'd allowed her to insult his art and hadn't made her pay. He'd cared that she cut, which was weird, for him.

Nah, he hadn't really cared, he decided. It just pissed him off.

Exactly. Because everything she did was annoying.

He _should've _beaten her into submission before...well, actually, maybe not directly. If anything she was resilient, and lived up to the nickname Deidara had given her. She was stubborn, and to physically beat her into submission would be a little harder than he would've first imagined. Besides, Deidara really doubted that even he did beat the hell out of her, he'd be satisfied. He didn't want to see Tough Girl just injured, on the ground and not getting up. The point was, he'd let Mari have too much free reign. She thought she was in charge. She thought Itachi was better. She thought she didn't belong to Deidara -and that meant Itachi might think so, too.

That would have to change.

_Wait a second, _a small voice said. _Maybe I'm overreact-_

Before he could finish his first logical thought, he had a sudden vision of Itachi and Mari making out.

Oh that's it.

_Tough Girl is _mine, he told himself. _She just doesn't know it yet. _Itachi couldn't have her.

Not that he really wanted to be Tough Girl's boyfriend or anything. Not for a very long time, anyways. In his experience chicks always got boring sooner or later. Some last longer, some don't but none lasted forever. _It's better that way, _he thought. _Just like in art, everything good comes to an end. Nothing worthwhile lasts._

Well, that was a great plan. He needed to make sure she wasn't with Itachi, to make sure she wouldn't fuck with Deidara's head anymore -he needed to _win, _to get her to give herself to him in spite of her pride- but not be with her too long. Beauty was transcient. How was he supposed to-

Hey.

Now _that _was an idea.

What he should do...was win Mari over, for one thing, make sure she was with him and not the Uchiha. That was essential. He'd make sure she wanted him she wanted him so bad she just couldn't help it.

A slow smile crept up on Diedara's face. That was a fucking fantastic idea. What better way to totally spell out his dominance than by getting Tough Girl, who was constantly denying that she even liked him a little bit, who told him to fuck off twice a minute, to sleep with him? But it got better. Not only would he win her over, but after he'd gotten her totally in love -or whatever it was chicks were always bitching about when he dumped them- he'd dump her. In a really horrible way, too.

It would be her first time, which was supposed to be the worst. And since they were both in the Akatsuki and saw each other every day, she wouldn't be able to get away from him. She'd be totally screwed up. She might even beg to get him back.

He nodded to himself. That cinched it. He'd get Tough Girl to trust him and care about him, and then he'd callously dump her -and he'd see how much of a _tough girl _she was then, hmm?

"Done sulking?"

Deidara jumped, turning to look at a smirking Sasori. He glared at the red-haired boy, annoyed that he'd been so lost in fought he'd forgotten about him. "What are you talking about?"

"You've been totally silent this entire time," Sasori purred. "You are only ever quiet when sulking or asleep."

"I was thinking," Deidara snapped, a little too defensively.

"I'll bet you were."

Deidara scowled and looked back out the window. Danna was such an asshole...

* * *

><p><strong><strong>Sorry if this chapter seems a little melodramatic, or unrealistic. Same for the previous chapter, too, actually, I've never been in a gang and <em>probably <em>never will, so if it's lacking in realism, well, sorry is all I can say.****

**I really fucking hate the blonde right now, which is bizarre because _I'm _the one writing this. At any rate, I'm really excited that I get to update so quickly, so in exchange please review the crap out of this chapter! I've given you quite a lot to comment on, haven't I? I'd like to evantually make it to 500 reviews if it's possible. And don't forget the Angels, Devils and Ipods fic! It's worth reading! I mean it!**

**-amy out**


	29. Romance Fail

**For some reason this chapter was a real bitch to write. :/ Sorry for the wait.**

* * *

><p><strong>Joseph<strong>

It was after 2 AM when they returned. Luckily it was Mari, riding in a black car with Itachi, who returned first. I expected her to be grouchy and bitchy when she returned, as she always is around these guys, but she just…wasn't. She just walked through the living room, barely even looking at me, headed for her room, climbed the ladder and went to sleep.

Something is seriously wrong.

I stand, stock-still for a second after she pulls up the ladder and closes the trapdoor, before I swiftly turn around to glare at Itachi. "What the _hell?" _I demand.

Itachi just stares back blankly, and maybe a little sadly, but it's hard to tell with that guy. Damn near impossible to read.

"What's the matter with her? What did you guys do?" I demand, getting angry.

"Tonight was Mari's initiation," he explains solemnly.

"Yeah, I _know _that!"

"It entails killing a person the Akatsuki has decided is a threat," he goes on, "as a sign of commitment to our cause. For what it's worth, Mari did exceptionally well."

I mean, I think that's what he said. My brain kind of disconnected after the words 'killing a person'. "So, Mari…you guys made her _shoot _someone?"

"Yes."

We stand still, in an awkward silence, for what seems like hours.

"Why?" I finally ask.

"That's the way things are." Itachi sighs slightly, and then looks me in the eyes with this intense, dark look. "I suggest you do your best to comfort Mari. This will be a hard time for her, and I doubt she'll be willing to accept help from anyone else."

I can't help feeling a little indignant that he thinks I need to be told this about my best friend in the world, but I nod.

"Go to sleep. It's late."

And then he leaves, just like that.

By the time I get back to our room, Mari is either sound asleep or really determined to fake it. My money's on the second, she has way too much energy to fall asleep this quickly, no matter what happened earlier. But I decide to leave her be…if she needs some time to sulk, she's entitled.

I grit my teeth. Mari has never been this way, the way she's been in the past month or so. Even when her parents were always drunk and fighting, no matter how bad things would get, Mari would never show it. She'd just bring Kai up to my house and we'd all act totally normal, like nothing in the world was wrong. Mari's never been one to dwell on things, to be serious, but now she is.

I can't help wishing things would be the way they used to be, back when we were still kids. No one was ever really there to take care of us, but at least we weren't expected to take care of ourselves –and, in Mari's case, a younger brother- like we're adults.

Even worse, I have to go to work early in the morning tomorrow, so I won't be there to talk to her, if she were to need it. Mari actually _killed _someone, and she's going to need some kind of help, whether she'll admit it or not. Dammit…There's no one in the world I actually care about, other than Mari, and Kai only because Mari cares about him. So when she's in pain, and I'm not able to help, it damn near drives me up the walls.

**Deidara**

Deidara absentmindedly toyed with one of Kai's power ranger dolls, thinking of what would be the best way to start moving in on Tough Girl. There was no time like the present, considering she was upset about initiation last night. In Deidara's experience, she was much more susceptible to…what he had in mind when she was hurt and vulnerable. He had to strike while the iron was hot. _And this time…_Deidara grinned to himself. _I intend to take full advantage, yeah!_

But he couldn't let her know he thought of it that way. It would piss her off, which usually was a good thing, but in this situation it would be counterproductive. So, how should he approach her? Considering what had happened the night before, comforting would be a safe option with most girls, but somehow he didn't think that was the way to go with Tough Girl. She'd acted like a natural-born gang member the night before, which (he was reluctant to say) actually impressed him a little. He'd never expected her to take to it so quickly. That look in her eyes right before they'd started shooting…and that Molotov…Yeah, Deidara was grudgingly impressed.

Not only that, but she'd _actually_ shot that girl. Deidara would never have taken her to be capable of that! And having the balls to actually try and shoot Leader? Holy shit. Of course, Deidara had tried something similar during his initiation, but seeing as how Itachi was still alive, he could've told her it was a waste of time.

Anyways, considering all that, maybe Tough Girl didn't need comfort? Most girls would, but as he'd already decided, Mari wasn't like most girls. Besides, he knew if he acted too nice her Bullshit Detector would go into haywire. He had to think of a different angle…

Or maybe he didn't. After all, he preferred to be spontaneous rather than concocting a long-winded, complicated plan. Life was more fun that way.

He tossed the red power ranger aside and stood up, strolling toward Tough Girl's room. The trapdoor was actually unlocked this time. He pulled the ladder down and climbed until his head poked through the hole, rapping his knuckles on the trapdoor as he went. "Knock, knock, un!"

"Go away, man," Mari answered immediately.

Deidara saw that she was sitting up on her bed, facing away from him, actually not listening to her iPod for once. Also unusual, having just woken up her black-and-red streaked hair was hanging down around her shoulders and back instead of being put up in a ponytail. It was longer than he'd thought it was before…"Good morning, Tough Girl, un."

"I _said _go away."

"And I still don't care, un." He hoisted himself into her room, approaching Mari.

"Seriously, leave me alone. I'm not in the mood, man." Yep, she was definitely depressed. She was never this docile.

"Well, what say I _get _you in the mood, then, hm?" Deidara teased.

This, at least, had the desired effect; Mari looked over her shoulder at him in disgust. "Would you save the stupid corny-ass pick-up lines?" she snapped. "When are you gonna get it through your thick head that they're never gonna work?"

"Can't blame a guy for trying, un."

"Yes I can."

Okay, this was good. She seemed relaxed, the back-and-forth was normal, and she was even being a little less aggressive about it than usual. At any rate she seemed to be responding well –or, well for _her- _to teasing…humor was probably the way to go. He made a mental note of it.

"So, what gives, Tough Girl?" he asked, sitting at the foot of her bed a few feet from her and leaning back, arms behind him, so he could see Mari's face even though they faced opposite directions.

She narrowed her eyes at him in irritation. "What do you mean, man?"

"You chose Itachi as your sempai, instead of me," he explained, keeping his voice calm despite his anger and wounded pride. "Not cool, un."

"Maybe I just didn't want to deal with your bullshit."

"Or maybe, you secretly like the guy, hm?" Deidara asked, hoping she didn't look past the teasing to hear the menacing tone it hid.

"Hell no!" she spat immediately, looking gratifyingly disgusted by the idea. "I hate that asshole."

_Good. _"So why'd you choose him, hm?"

"I hate you just a little bit more," she told him nastily.

"Hmm…too bad," Deidara said flippantly. "We worked pretty well together last night, after all, un."

He noted how she seemed to withdraw slightly when he mentioned it. Huh, that was weird. Well, anyways, he decided a little flattery would probably be good here; as long as he didn't overdo it, compliments were never a bad option. "You really surprised me, Tough Girl. I never would've thought you'd do that well on your first time! You're gonna fit in just fine around here, I think, un."

Mari flinched. Deidara frowned. Wait, wait, wait. This wasn't right. She was supposed to react to the compliment in some way; if nothing else, he thought she'd get angry, at least. That was a pretty standard reaction for her. But she wasn't…she was just sitting there, silent.

Well, that wouldn't do. Deidara decided to make her angry; that wasn't exactly what he was looking for, but at least it was better than this cold indifference. "And was that really your first time killing someone? No way. You're a natural, un."

She gripped the comforters, hunching forward and stiffening up…angry pressure was building up in her. One more jab and Deidara was sure she would explode.

"Did you enjoy hearing that girl cry? Murderer," he teased, smirking. But to his dismay, she didn't get angry and scream at him for being an asshole –even he could tell he was being a jerkass at this point- she just seemed to withdraw more, getting further and further away from him.

Something was definitely not right here. _Did I choose the wrong tactic? _He wondered vaguely, but it was too late to back out now. Tough Girl might not like being messed with about it, but he _knew_ she didn't want him to try and give her touchy-feely, encouraging advice. _I'd probably mess it up anyways, un...I'm no good at things like that._

Mari suddenly looked up. Deidara looked at her face curiously, confused to see a small, wry smile on her lips. "Thanks, man."

_Did I say the right thing after all?_ He wondered in bewilderment. "For what, exactly, hm?"

"For reminding me what a complete heartless, sadistic bastard you are," she answered calmly, her smile staying eerily staying on her face, clashing with her stinging words. "You know, for a second there I was almost starting to forget…and I think we both know how that would've turned out. So, thanks for the reminder, prick."

Deidara gulped. Well, this wasn't right! "Wait, you don't understand-"

"Get out of here, NOW!" She grabbed one of Joseph's six-inch knives and pointed it at him with murderous intent. "Don't make me tell you again!"

Deidara jumped up, dodging the blade. "I didn't mean-"

"OUT!"

Deidara barely managed to jump out of her room without getting cut. He looked up angrily as the hotheaded bitch pulled the ladder up behind him and slammed the trapdoor with vigor.

"You pissy little bitch, un!" he yelled angrily at the door.

"Go fuck yourself!" she responded angrily, her voice muffled through the door.

Deidara kicked the wall and began to stomp off, until he noticed Sasori standing in the doorway of the room they now shared, arms crossed, having watched the whole thing.

Deidara glared at him for a second.

Sasori cleared his throat, smirking slightly. "So how'd it go?"

An anime vein bulged from Deidara's temple. "Shut up, un!" he snapped, but didn't say anything else, because what _could _he say? Even he had to admit he had royally fucked that one up. _So much for romance, un... _

**Mari**

"Fucking asshole," I mutter to myself, starting to pace around my room. I was feeling bad enough before that piece of shit came in here, toying with me, messing with my mind. I dig my fingernails into my arm, trying to resist the urge to cry that had been there before, but now was burning my eyes with a vengeance. Even if no one would see me cry, I refuse to cry over _him. _It's the principle of the thing.

_Murderer. Murderer. Murderer._ The accusation seems to run through my mind over and over, sending it through me with every step I take. I kick my wall as hard as I can, leaving a dent from my boots. Fucking dandy. But even though I end up breaking my things, I ride the wave of anger at Deidara for as long as I can, because I know it's easier to deal with than what feeling will burn me once my anger cools.

_I hate myself_, I think later, after my anger's subsided- still sitting around in my room, doing nothing but brooding and sulking. I only left once -for a just few minutes- in the past hour to go get a snack. I never even tried to become better, a good person, and look what I did instead. What's the matter with me? How can I call myself a Christian when I do things like that?

I shake my head, trying to purge the thought. I can't even think about that right now.

I dig my fingernails further into my arm, trying to get a grip, when I happen to look at my arm, where the skin is breaking slightly. And it reminds me…

I know I said I wouldn't cut ever again. I meant it, too, so much. But why shouldn't I? The only thing fueling that determination was pride, a deep-rooted need to make myself better. But what does that matter now? I'm a murderer. I'll never be that person I dreamed of being…healthy and strong. I can't see any future now except for one that's dark and bleak. All I can see is the present, what's happening _right now, _and right now there's only one thing that might be able to take away this awful still and quiet, this horrible melancholy, numb feeling in my gut…

The weather's starting to get too warm to wear long sleeves every day. But my legs are almost always covered anyways, especially above the knee.

I roll off the bed and reach under it, to find one of Joseph's knives. I wrap my fingers around the handle, fingering the razor-sharp edge, my heart beating faster in icy anticipation. Today I'm going to bleed.

I roll up the left leg of my shorts, feeling the smooth skin absentmindedly. I angle the blade against my skin, the very tip at the far edge of my leg. I bite my tongue, grip the handle, and start to drag it across my skin-

-when a strong, pale hand suddenly grabs the hilt of my knife, stopping me.

I grit my teeth, not even looking up for a second. It had better not be-

I finally look up to see Itachi, glaring at me as he always is. (How did he even get in here without me noticing…?) I meet his red, no, black eyes, glaring back in disapproval. I inwardly groan –first Blonde Prick, now this? What is it, everyone-pick-on-Mari day?! I don't need this shit!

"Go away."

"Mari, this is childish and weak," he tells me harshly.

I snarl. "I don't need a sermon from you, Weasel Dick! Leave, man!"

He narrows his eyes slightly, taking the knife away from me. "As your mentor, I won't tolerate this kind of behavior."

"I don't give a _shit _what you'll tolerate!" I reply hotly, getting steadily angrier. Who the hell does he think he is?! "It's none of your business!"

"Do you think this is going to make anything better?" he asks harshly.

I start to get up to leave –I don't have to sit here and get involved in some stupid cheap-ass therapy session- but he suddenly grabs my left arm in a vice-like grip, so tightly it feels like my circulation is being cut off. "What the hell!"

Out of nowhere he takes the knife I'd been planning to use and plunges it into my arm, much deeper than I would have. My eyes widen in shock, then in pain as blood springs up from the unexpected wound, and I try to pull away, but I seem locked in place…all I can do is stare dumbly at the bleeding cut.

"Will this bring that girl back to life?" Itachi asks, calm and relentless, bringing the knife down again.

"Stop it!" I snap angrily, but I can't resist, why can't I move?

"Will this bring your parents back? Will this make you happier?"

"Shut up!"

"What about Kai? Do you want him to know you do this? What if he picks up the habit himself?"

He won't stop cutting me, my arm is covered in blood, it's screaming out in pain, and I'm still unable to pull away. "You crazy asshole!"

"Don't you see you're just hurting yourself?" He starts stabbing my other arm, me scrunching my face against the pain. "Aren't you ashamed at giving up like this?"

I need to get away, I have to get away, and not just because I really think he's about to kill me from blood loss, but also because of those words cutting through me just like a knife, pinning me down…"Fuck you!"

"But isn't this what you wanted?" he asks quietly, pressing the knife back into my hand. "Do you want me to leave you alone…"

My fist grips the handle of the knife, even though I didn't tell it to.

"So that you can do this to yourself…"

My arm starts to raise the knife, its blade twisted toward me, shakily because I try to force it to stay down, but whatever is going on is beyond my ability to fight.

"Over and over again, until one day-"

To my horror the blade is now at my neck, poking into my jugular, not drawing blood, but just a little pressure is all that would be necessary to kill me now. My eyes are wide with fear.

"It looks like this?"

"What…what the hell?"

I'm not angry anymore, I'm confused and afraid. Why don't I have control of my body anymore? What the fuck is going on?!

Itachi glare intensely at me, like he actually cares if I cut. He crosses his arms. "You need help, Mari."

"Oh, yeah, because _this _is a real help, man!" I choke out.

He doesn't answer me, just stares for a second, completely unreadable. Then, unexpectedly, he raises his hands up in front of his face in some kind of hand sign, and says quietly, "Kai –release."

Suddenly the blade at my throat, the searing pain in my forearms is gone. I am holding nothing but air in my fist. The blood that had been accumulating in the crooks of my elbows, pooling in the floor, is gone without a trace. The only injury I have is the tiny scratch I'd made on my leg before Itachi had stopped me (and, of course, the countless ones I acquired last night). I look down at myself in confusion. "What the fuck…"

Itachi sighs, and I think I detect a hint of sadness in his normally completely expressionless demeanor. I look back up at him, not understanding the sudden change.

"You have such a strong spirit. I hate to see it..._marred _by something like this."

Oh, no. Now his voice is no longer harsh and accusing, it's…_nice -_horribly, unbearably, humiliatingly _nice! _I swallow shame, gritting my teeth and looking away.

"I assume you're doing this because you're upset about having killed someone?"

I don't nod, or shake my head, or answer. I don't have to respond. Let him say whatever he wants. They're just words…Figures he chooses now to suddenly become capable of forming full sentences.

"I suppose I can't blame you…it's a painful thing to go through."

I turn my head away so my bangs will block my face from him. I wish he'd leave, I don't want to hear these words, and more than anything I don't want them to be spoken to me by this person. Because despite myself, I know that this means we're becoming closer, and I don't want any part of that.

"All I can tell you that what you went through last night is the worst it will get. We have to be sure you will be able to take life for the sake of the Akatsuki, and the greater good-"

"To hell with your greater good!" I burst out, angry all over again. "You're all out of your fucking minds! All of you in the goddamned _Akatsuki!" _ I spit.

He stares back at me blankly. "You are one of us now, you know."

I glare at him, swearing to myself for the hundredth time since I pulled that trigger that I would never accept this- _no matter what I have to do for the sake of mine and Kai's lives, I won't wear that ring! I won't be one of them._ Not truly. I didn't ask for this, there's no reason for me to embrace it.

Itachi sighs again, but tiredly. "You know, it takes a certain kind of person to survive killing another without losing their mind or their conscience. If I were to guess, I'd say you were one of them…although the choice is, of course, up to you."

I cock my head, looking at him curiously. Do I detect a hint of a challenge in that statement?

He looks back down toward the knife he's still holding. "I hope never to find you cutting yourself, or doing anything similarly weak-willed and weak-minded, ever again."

I purse my lips and frown, not appreciating his commanding tone of voice. "No promises, man."

"You probably feel as though you can't speak to me, but please find someone you can open up to next time you feel this way…like Joseph, for instance."

I look up at him, resentful and confused and humiliated, but mainly confused. "Why are you doing this? What do you care, anyways?" I ask quietly.

"Didn't I tell you already? I'm your mentor."

"Well, that just clears everything right up, doesn't it?" I ask sarcastically, becoming irritated. "All my questions are answered now, for sure!"

He just gives me a typically emotionless, blank stare.

I look again at my non-bleeding arms, frowning in confusion as I remember what had happened minutes before. "Hey, by the way, how did you-"

"It's called a genjutsu," he cuts me off, again demonstrating the infuriating ability to always seem to know what I'm thinking. "It's a lost ninja art which was once nearly synonymous with the Sharingan eye."

"The what now?" Now that he mentions it, the word 'genjutsu' does ring a bell, but I'd thought that technique was just that, lost. How in the hell is Itachi able to still use it?

"I'll explain more at another time." He stands up, turning his back to me. "At any rate, I should be going. I wouldn't want to give Deidara an aneurysm, after all."

"Wait, what?" I jump up, not understanding how Blonde Prick ties into this. "What do you-"

Aaaaaand he's already gone.

I sweatdrop. _It's like talking to Batman, hanging out with that guy…_ And yet, for some reason I don't seem to hate him quite as much as I had before. Well, I'm not really sure about that, either, but if total confusion counts as a decrease in resentment, then I guess I do. What the hell is with him? I'd thought he couldn't care less about me, or anything for that matter, and yet out of nowhere he's willing to go that far just to try and talk me out of cutting?

And what does he mean, give Deidara an aneurysm? That doesn't make any sense at all! I wish he wouldn't talk in riddles.

And the main thing I'm feeling right now, other than confusion, is shame…He caught me cutting, and even worse, he pulled some weird kind of mindfuck-jutsu on me. I can't believe he was able to disarm me so easily! When did he even do that? I was completely at his mercy…fucking disgraceful. I hate it. And the way he talked to me? It's like he can see right through me, everything I'm thinking…I can't believe I allowed myself to be seen like that. That son of a bitch should've minded his own business…He's a weird guy.

But, for what it's worth, I don't feel like cutting anymore.

**Deidara**

Deidara's eyes widened as he realized Itachi knew he'd been listening from outside the trapdoor. Then he narrowed them in a glare as said black-haired man dropped down out of the ceiling. Deidara glared at him, daring Itachi to reproach Deidara for eavesdropping.

Itachi just gave him a vaguely condescending look before walking away, not having said a word

Deidara snarled. Yeah, he _really_ hated that damn Uchiha.

* * *

><p><strong>What a fucking dumbass...<strong>

**In Amy news:**

**I'm about to get my hair dyed balck and red like Mari's, which I've been wanting to for almost a year (why do you think I wrote her that way?). I'm not sure if anyone cares or not, but if they do I'll do cosplay of Mari and post it.**

**And as always, fan art = love.**

****Let's try and crack 400 reviews this time, ne? ****

**-Amy out**


	30. Ignoring and Overreacting

**This chapter may seem a bit rushed. Sorry, I'm just too impatient to wait to publish it.**

* * *

><p>I was really hoping that Itachi would just leave be the issue of my cutting, but no such luck. At first I didn't understand why the hell he would follow me into a room sometimes, only to sit in a corner and read a book and completely ignore me. Then I noticed he only did it if I would otherwise be alone in a room, and I was able to put two and two together.<p>

"Hey, you don't need to freaking baby-sit me like this," I snap when I figure it out. "It's creepy, man."

Itachi looks over the top of his book apathetically. "Would you rather me make a production out of confiscating every sharp object you own?"

"I would rather you mind your own damn business."

He just stares at me for a second, before going back to reading his book.

I grit my teeth and force myself to ignore him, picking up my own book and putting my headphones back on. As much as I may not like to admit it, there's nothing I can do about it. I saw Itachi fight last weekend, and…yeah, there's no way. Besides which, I know Leader would take his side if Itachi were to bring it to him. Hell, probably even Joseph would. The only one who might side with me here would be Blonde Prick, and there's no way in hell I'd talk to him about this.

Speaking of which, I've been completely ignoring that guy lately, which has turned out to be a lot more effective method of revenge than getting riled up and shouting insults at him. Since I have such a short fuse and such a big mouth, I mainly do this by giving him the silent treatment until he starts to make me angry. Then I just get up and leave the room. Hidan, by the way, finds this hilarious. But whatever. At first I was just doing it as a way to not have to deal with him, but I've started to see that it actually really pisses him off, so, go me for thinking it up. At any rate, even being ignored didn't really piss him off, I still wouldn't speak to him anymore…fucking asshole.

Since my temper has cooled about the subject, I've done some thinking about the whole thing, and when it comes to having killed that girl, I've allowed myself to get over it…It's something I wish I hadn't encountered, but now that I have, there's no going back. And, honestly, while killing her won't make me a better person, I think it might have made the world a better place.

Not that I would say that out loud.

See, even though I've more or less come to terms with what I did, that doesn't mean I've come to terms with the Akatsuki. It's not even just a personal, petty thing at this point. I've thought about it, and when you get right down to it these guys are wrong. I think their philosophy, at least part of it, is right –that sometimes the law fails to truly protect the people, and when that happens we have a right to rise up and do what's necessary- but their methods are wrong. They don't only fight people who are wrong and evil, they fight anyone who gets in their way. Kakuzu and Sasori sell hard drugs to anyone over sixteen, and the age limit only because Leader seems to at least have _some _morals. They all kill without discretion; from what I've gathered not civilians, not kids, not when they don't have to, but overall they don't care who they hurt in order to get what they want. Worst of all, while Leader seems to genuinely care about doing good, he has…delusions of grandeur. It goes beyond Akatsuki being just a gang. Leader actually wants to somehow overthrow the government, and he's serious about it.

This is some serious shit I'm involved in now. "Hey, Itachi?" I ask, taking my headphones off.

He darts his eyes up to indicate he's listening, before going back to reading his book.

"Hypothetically speaking…what would happen if I were to, kinda, try and…_leave _the Akatsuki?" I ask cautiously.

"You would be hunted down and killed, along with your little brother, best friend, and anyone else you care about," he answers immediately, not even bothering to look up from his book.

Gulp. "I was afraid of that," I mutter. "Is there anything I could do to, like, get kicked out, or something?"

"Die," he tells me matter-of-factly.

"Well fuck." I pause, then think of something else. "What if I got sent to prison for life?"

"We'd break you out."

I raise my eyebrows at his flippant tone of voice, like it would be just that easy. "What if I was in like a super-badass top security prison?"

"We'd find a way."

"But what if-"

"Mari," he interrupts, sounding somewhat irritated. "Are you _planning _on going to prison?"

"No."

He glares at me slightly, before going back to his book. "If I were you, I'd give up trying to find a loophole. It's pointless."

I scowl. "I can't believe this _shit_…"

"Whether you believe it or not, is irrelevant."

I narrow my eyes at him, wondering for the thousandth time why he suggested I become a member of the Akatsuki in the first place. "Why'd you want me to be a member, anyways?"

"I didn't _want_ you to. It was necessary."

"Oh really? How so?" I challenge.

He looks up from his book condescendingly, then looks back at it, wordlessly indicating that 20 Questions is over.

I scowl. I really can't stand that guy sometimes. Still, now that I think about it, he hasn't really ever done anything mean-spirited to me, or really anything that bad at all -other than causing me to be forced into Akatsuki membership, of course, which still confuses me. While Weasel Dick isn't about to win any awards for kindness, he's not the kind of person who would do that kind of thing just to be an asshole.

Besides –and don't tell anyone I said this- but not only did he tell me not to cut, but he's actually making an effort to enforce it. I'm not used to having someone…_look out_ for me that way. Why? As far as I can tell, it won't really hinder the Akatsuki if I cut. The only possible reason he would have for going through all this trouble is if he was actually genuinely concerned about me, which is ridiculous. This has to somehow line up with his own private agenda…but I'm at a loss as to what it may be.

Of course, even if somehow he is being genuine, I still wouldn't like it. I don't want to get close to this guy, or even worse, start considering him a friend. The less people I care about, the better off I'll be. See, (and this is another thing I'd rather just keep between us), when I truly care about someone, I give them everything I have. There's no halfway point for me. As of right now, there's just Joseph and Kai in that category, with Naruto slowly creeping his way in from the outside. I'd prefer to keep it that way.

* * *

><p><strong>Deidara <strong>

Deidara sat in his and Sasori's room, drumming his fingers on his desk angrily. There were papers with unfinished sketches scattered around him, a dulled pencil in his hand; he'd been trying to distract himself by drawing, but he couldn't stay focused. He was too pissed off.

Now he _knew _Tough Girl was just screwing with his head. For the past couple of days, ever since he'd heard Itachi talking to her about cutting, he'd seen him accompany her to her room, _alone, _several times. He was sure they weren't…_involved, _but he wondered. It drove him up the walls, especially since she hadn't said hardly two words to him in the past few days. Now, _that _bugged him –more than he'd care to admit. Usually when he'd piss her off, it wouldn't matter, not really. She'd get over it, and they'd get back to being what he had considered to be at least something resembling friends. They bickered a lot, and Mari was irritated by him, but the open dislike was starting to recede slightly…until he'd gone and fucked things up. Now she wouldn't even speak to him…and was meanwhile spending more and more time with that, mother, fucking, _Uchiha! _

_Snap._

He looked down to see that while he'd been thinking, he'd went and snapped his pencil in half, like a dumbass. He scowled at it.

He saw Sasori look up from puppet he was manufacturing (which, by the way, was the single creepiest hobby Deidara had even known anyone to have), his eyes darting to the broken writing implement in his partner's hand, then to Deidara's face. "No need to take out your girl problems on the pencil, brat."

Deidara scowled. "Shut up, danna, un."

"I don't see why you're allowing yourself to get so worked up over this," Sasori went on apathetically. "Aren't you only interested in easy girls?"

Deidara looked at Sasori in slight irritation. "It's not just about sex, un."

"Oh, don't tell me you've went and gone _soft_ on me," Sasori said mockingly, giving Deidara an unbearably smug look.

Deidara scowled. "Of course not!"

"So what is it?"

Deidara was unsure if he should explain. Sasori _was _his partner and best friend, and although neither of them would ever admit it, they mutually looked out for each other, almost like brothers. Still, that didn't mean Deidara trusted the devious bastard; but he didn't like the idea of Sasori thinking he'd "gone soft", as he'd put it. "This doesn't leave the two of us, un," he warned.

Sasori nodded.

"I'm gonna bed her, and then…" he smirked. "I'm gonna _break_ her, un."

Sasori gave him a 'You are literally too stupid to insult' look. "I don't suppose you'd listen to me if I told you that was a bad idea."

"Nope, un."

Sasori shook his head. "To each his own…Besides, if you don't mind my saying so, it doesn't seem to me like it's going too well."

Deidara glared at him. "Actually, I _do_ mind, un," he answered grumpily, although he couldn't say much to deny it.

"What exactly did you say to her last Sunday?" Sasori asked.

Deidara grimaced and gave Sasori a shortened version of their cataclysmic conversation that had resulted in him getting the silent treatment for four days straight. Sasori usually had good advice, even if it was often given with degrading overtones. Sasori listened while resting his chin in his hand, his mouth partially covered, regarding Deidara with indifferent eyes.

When Deidara was finished, he was annoyed to see Sasori chuckle slightly. "Have I told you lately what a moron you are?" Sasori asked conversationally.

Deidara restrained himself from flipping his danna off, only because he knew if he did he'd lose what little opportunity he had to gain some decent advice on the matter. "Are you gonna help me or not, un?" he snapped angrily.

Sasori raised an eyebrow. "I don't recall telling you I would."

Deidara glared. "You've got to have some kind of theory, un."

"Do you really need me to tell you that you shouldn't have made a joke out of Mari's initiation?" Sasori asked him.

"…I want you to tell me what I should do to get her to stop ignoring me, un," Deidara told him through gritted teeth, despite the twinge of his pride.

Sasori looked upwards, still smirking slightly. "That's simple. You're going to have to apologize."

Deidara bristled up. Apologize? Deidara never apologized, for anything! No way in hell! "Other than that, un."

Sasori shrugged. "Nothing else comes to mind. People who aren't used to killing seem to be foolishly sensitive about having done it when the situation arises, and Mari's pretty stubborn. I don't think she's going to just forget about this."

Deidara didn't have an answer for that. He looked away, scowling, then started drumming his fingers again. Apologize? To _her? _ No way. It would be too shameful…Then again, Danna was rarely wrong –except when it came to art, of course. But apologizing was out of the question…he had to figure out something else…

* * *

><p>"Hey, Mari, 1000 Ways To Die is on," Hidan shouted. "It's a fucking marathon!"<p>

"Fuck yes!" Tough Girl cheered, jumping over the back of the couch to sit between the arm of the couch and Joseph, not even looking at Deidara, who was sitting in the armchair next to it. "This show is the bomb-shit-taco, man!"

"Bomb-shit-taco, un?" Deidara questioned.

Tough Girl acted like she hadn't heard a thing. Deidara scowled. Oh, yeah, the silent treatment. This was seriously getting annoying. It wasn't just about their unspoken contest at this point; sometimes he actually wanted to have a normal conversation with her.

Deidara decided to ignore it, two could play at this game…he watched the gory show, trying to ignore the fact that he was being ignored, but each time the other inhabitants of the living room (Hidan, Joseph, Mari, Sasori, and Kisame) started a conversation he tried to be a part of, he was reminded by Tough Girl's blatant cold shoulder, and the reactions of the rest of those sons of bitches; Kisame's vaguely sympathetic grin; Sasori's entirely unsympathetic smirk; Hidan's smug leer as he motioned toward Joseph, whom he had his arm around _already; _and Joseph's disapproving look, as if Mari's being a bitch was _Deidara's_ fault.

Well, he guessed technically in a way you could say it was, but she was overreacting!

When commercials came on, Mari turned to Joseph, asking, "Hey, you guys want popco- oh, stop it," she snapped when she saw Hidan nuzzling her best friend.

Hidan flipped her off, grinning.

"Yeah, I want some popco-," Joseph responded.

When Mari shrugged and leapt up to go make some popco-, Deidara watched her leave in frustration. He _still_ couldn't think of anything, and Tough Girl was _still _ignoring him. She wouldn't let him drive her to school; instead she'd jump in whichever car was leaving soonest. When he tried to talk to her, she'd pretend he didn't exist. When she Kakuzu had asked her how many people needed pizza, she'd made a big deal out of counting everyone _except _Deidara; he'd had to grab the phone and shout the real number before he missed out on pizza altogether. No matter what he did, she would ignore him entirely, pretend like he didn't exist, except to stand up and leave the room with no explanation if she was particularly annoyed.

At first he'd waved it off as something she'd forget about eventually, but as the days went on, he got more and more irritated about it.

At this point, Deidara would be happy with any kind of a reaction. He got up off the arm chair and sat down where Mari had been sitting before, hoping to get her to at least tell him to move.

Kisame chuckled. "You're really desperate, you know that, Blondie?"

"Shut the hell up, you blue shit," Deidara snapped.

Kisame just laughed.

"Aw, poor blonde bitch, having girl trouble?" Hidan gloated, squeezing Joseph closer to him, still gloating about Joseph continuously flirting with him.

Mari re-entered the room, the popcorn popping in the microwave. Deidara made sure to watch her as she saw that he was sitting in her spot.

She glared. Deidara felt momentarily victorious –until her expression changed to dismissive and she sat in the chair he'd vacated, and said to Joseph –as if he didn't exist!- "You gotta get it out of the microwave in a minute, and start the next one, man."

Joseph nodded. "Yeah, then it's Hidan's turn."

Hidan sputtered. "Why the fuck would I do that?"

"We have a system," Joseph explained.

**Sasori**

While everyone else was arguing and fighting over nonsense, Sasori preferred to be the silent observer at times. That way he could more easily gather information he could then use to his advantage. While Joseph, Hidan, and Mari argued about the popcorn, Sasori opted to watch Deidara. As they all ignored him, he saw the hotheaded blonde get angrier and angrier, until his face even got a little red.

Sasori smirked. _What are you going to do now, Deidara? _

**Deidara**

He didn't get involved in their argument, glaring at Tough Girl, who continued to completely ignore him as the beeper went off, as Joseph went to the kitchen and returned with popcorn. Her eyes darted toward him once, but not long enough for him to get an impression of what she was thinking. When the show started again, Deidara sat back on the couch and relaxed, but he wasn't watching the show. His eyes were filled with quiet anger. _This is bullshit, _he thought. He refused to allow the little bitch to disrespect him this way, to ignore him and make him feel like an idiot. If she didn't want to talk to him, too damn bad. She was going to acknowledge him, dammit!

Deidara suddenly got up, walked up to the TV, and turned it off.

"What the fuck!" Hidan shouted.

Deidara ignored him, stood in front of the TV, crossed his arms and glared at Tough Girl.

She glared back, which technically was acknowledging him, but Deidara wasn't satisfied with that. She was going to speak to him, no matter what he had to do. "Kisame," she said slowly, "are you sitting on the remote control, man?"

"No, I don't think I am," Kisame answered, sounding incredibly amused.

"So why did the TV turn off?" she asked.

"Cut the shit, un," he snapped.

"Seriously, that's weird, man," she went on, stubbornly pretending that Deidara didn't exist.

Joseph sighed. "It probably turned off because Deidara pressed the power button," she told Mari slowly.

Deidara raised an eyebrow. How was Mari going to turn this one around?

Mari glared at him for a few seconds. Her angry, cruel eyes darted toward Joseph. "Who?"

Deidara's eye twitched. "Alright, bitch…" He stomped over to Mari, grabbed her arm, and yanked roughly, pulling her to her feet. She resisted, but he was stronger, and he dragged her into the kitchen before she had time to get away.

"Hey, one of you fuckers come back and turn the fucking TV on!" Hidan shouted after them.

"What the fuck, man!" Mari protested, kicking him in the shin. Shit, that hurt. Deidara tightened his grip, the mouths on his hands biting into her skin.

"Oh, so I exist now, hm?" he snapped.

"Let go of me, asshole!"

He knew what she was about to do. He grabbed her other arm before she could deliver a painful punch to his person. "Not until you agree to talk to me, un!"

"Go to hell!" she hissed, trying to pull away from him. He pushed her into the wall.

"You are going to acknowledge me, un!" he demanded.

She stopped fighting back for a second, giving him a disbelieving look. "_That's _what this is about?"

"Hell yeah!" Deidara snapped, glaring at her. "Stop fucking ignoring me, un!"

"Ever heard of overreacting, you fucking crazy piece of terroristic shit?!"

"I don't care, un!" he narrowed his eyes, not caring if he seemed crazy, as long as she wasn't ignoring him anymore…as long as Tough Girl wasn't out of his reach.

"If you didn't want me to ignore you, you shouldn't have been such a fucking asshole, man!"

"For the love of Pete, I was just kidding, un!"

"You don't fucking _kid _about that kind of shit, man!" she snapped. "What the hell is the matter with you?!"

Deidara gritted his teeth together. This bitch was fucking _impossible. _He seriously felt like slapping her…but that wouldn't help him get what he wanted. Besides, Deidara knew she could handle physical pain, but she probably wouldn't be able to handle what he had planned. Whatever it took, he had to figure out how to get her to want him, and that meant he had to get her to be somewhat friendly with him first.

They glared at each other, neither of them backing down, as Deidara struggled to think of something that would make her stop being angry…

"_You're going to have to apologize." _

Deidara stiffened at the memory. That couldn't really be his only option, could it? But at the moment, nothing else came to mind…And he couldn't just walk away without achieving his goal. That would be backing down, letting Tough Girl have her way. But what was apologizing _but _backing down?

Deidara struggled with his pride as Tough Girl started to resist again. If he let this moment drag on too much longer, it would degenerate into a fight, which would only leave her further away from him. He was going to have to just go for it. But every humiliation he suffered, he would make her pay for once his plan worked, and then some.

"Mari, I'm…sorry," he said through gritted teeth.

Her mouth dropped open as she stopped struggling. "I'm sorry, I must be tripping –I thought I just heard you both use my real name, AND tell me you were _sorry_," she responded in disbelief.

He closed his eyes, trying not to look pissed, and took a deep breath. He had to sell this convincingly, or it would blow up in his face. "I forgot you weren't used to doing gang shit…I was just messing with you the other day, un."

Seeing the shock and confusion on Tough Girl's face was _almost_ worth it. She was at a loss for words, for once.

Deidara swallowed a smirk, letting go of her arms (where there was reddening imprints of his hands, along with tooth imprints and slobber), instinctively knowing she would be too surprised to try and get away before he was confident he'd achieved what he'd set out to. "I just wanted to get a rise out of you. I'll try to be more…" He swallowed, trying to keep from laughing out loud. "…_sensitive_, un."

Mari gave him a skeptical look. "You, sensitive? Bullshit flag. Nice try, though."

Deidara grinned, glad despite himself that he didn't have to keep up the Mr. Nice Guy act. "Aw, come on, why'd you have to call me out on that? I thought that was pretty good, un."

"Then you're retarded, man."

"Not any less than you, un." He leaned away from her, crossing his arms. She wasn't angry anymore. He'd won. "So can you quit being a bitch now, hm?"

She looked him in the eye, suspicion adorning her face. "I still hate you, man."

He smirked. Yeah, he'd definetly won. "Sure you do, un."

She scowled and pushed him out of the way, walking toward the microwave to get the last bag of popcorn out. "You have to make your own," she said grouchily, leaving the kitchen.

He stayed where he was as he watched her leave, high on victory, his smirk growing into an evil grin. _I'm going to crush you._

**Joseph**

I was starting to get a little worried –I figured I'd best let them work it out on their own, but there was a chance the blonde might push it a little too far, and I couldn't have that- right about the time that I heard them stop screaming at each other. That meant they were actually talking like civilized people. I relaxed slightly. Mari could handle this.

I laughed suddenly, shaking my head.

"What?" Sasori asked me, speaking for time in almost a half-hour.

"My best friend is a total idiot," I told him, chuckling.

He gave a half-smile. "Join the club," he told my dryly.

* * *

><p><strong>Poor Mari. She's so vulnerable to manipulation sometimes...<strong>

**MiyaOfTheFunk drew some badass fan art, but I'm not sure how to upload a link just yet, so...I'm not sure why I'm mentioning this at all.**

**The Mari cosplay may take a little longer than I thought it would at the time...sorry if I got your hopes up.**

**Next time: Itachi's torture -_a__hem-_ I mean, _training_ methods. Mari's got her work cut out for her.**

**Please review and thanks for reading!**

**-amy out**


	31. Training, Coke Runs and Womanizing

**Hey, I've got some good/bad news. Well, good for you guys, anyways. Because of my inability to bahave myself, Mom is enrolling me in online school rather than having me go to a public high school, which basically means I'll have even more free time than I already do, and so will be working on this story a lot rather than hanging out with friends. -_- Well, what can you do. I mean, I only have like three good friends in total, and they're all delinquints, and as for the rest of my peer group I pretty much just fight with them, so I can see her point, but...Oh, nevermind, I'm rambling. This really doesn't belong in an A/N. On with the story!**

* * *

><p><strong>Itachi<strong>

"Try and attack me."

"What?" Mari asked, frowning.

Itachi crossed his arms. "It's the quickest way for me to get an idea of your fighting style."

Mari grimaced. "But you could just Sharingan me again, man."

"I was wondering when you were going to catch on to that."

Mari glared.

It was a week after Mari's initiation, the first day of the training regimen that Itachi would be overseeing. They were in Mari's backyard, so as to give them more room to do what was necessary without running the risk of breaking things. Itachi already mostly knew what it was her training would consist of. He knew Mari couldn't beat him, even if he didn't use the Sharingan, but he wanted to get an idea of how adaptable she was against an opponent who didn't just lash out and brawl. He could see on Mari's face that she knew she couldn't, too, but was too proud to admit it. Well, her pride wasn't his concern at the moment. "Sometime today, Mari."

She narrowed her eyes. Without warning she aimed her left arm in an uppercut to his stomach. Itachi blocked it, and the next punch she aimed at his throat. She pulled her leg back to kick, but it was far too predictable; moving slightly to the left, Itachi dodged.

It went on like that for several minutes. Itachi didn't try to inflict any harm on Mari, he only blocked and dodged. It wasn't much of a problem for him. His objective was only to keep her from hitting him, while she had to try and get past his defenses to land a hit, which was much harder than it looked. He could see how Mari could hold her own against most opponents, even certain members of the Akatsuki, for sheer speed and ferocity, but when it came to hiding her intentions she was terrible. He could predict every move she was about to make, practically read her thoughts, without even using the Sharingan. Her strategy seemed to be to jump into any fight and blindly try and pummel her opponent into oblivion, with no regard for her own well-being; she invariably chose to attack even if it gave her adversary an opening. Not only did she lack the sheer brute strength to pull this kind of fighting off, but it was a style that simply wouldn't work on those who knew how to redirect her attacks away from them, who knew how to put into action the cliché of using an opponent's momentum against them, who knew how to strategize –in other words, those who fought intelligently.

Still, as the fight dragged on and Mari obviously became tired, but refused to slow down or stop, Itachi thought she had a kind of refusal to give in that was somewhat admirable. He suspected she would continue to fight him until she collapsed, even if she could tell it was hopeless. She might not even stop if he told her the fight was over; she was obviously becoming angry and frustrated as, despite her best efforts, she wasn't able to do more than scratch him.

The next chance he got, he grabbed onto Mari's arms, holding her still. "That will do."

She gave him an angry, resentful look, her hands still balled into fists, before jerking away from him angrily. Itachi let her.

**Mari**

This is really fucking annoying. I couldn't even hit him _once, _and his serious yet apathetic expression didn't waver the whole time. I could tell he was paying attention to the fight, but that didn't mean he was devoting his best efforts. Not even close. It really gets on my nerves. By the end of the fight I was desperate to land just _one _punch or kick, to do any kind of harm at all to prove I'm not totally helpless, but the bastard just kept blocking! Although I'm sure it's just part of training, it's shameful.

I glare at him, even though I know he's not intentionally trying to humiliate me. At least, I'm pretty sure.

I try to take deep breaths, as I'm winded. That was tiring, man…I'm covered in sweat.

Itachi crosses his arms again, looking something between indifferent and disapproving. "I believe I heard that you took kickboxing lessons?"

"Yeah," I answer. "Three years' worth," I tell him somewhat proudly.

"Forget all that."

What the-! I glare at him. "What do you mean, _forget _it?" I snap.

"I'm going to teach you an entirely new method of fighting that will better serve our purposes," Itachi tells me calmly. "Blindly swinging your fists around simply will not do."

That son of a bitch! "Just because I can't beat you, doesn't mean that kind of fighting is useless, man," I snap, angry.

"If you hope to be a candidate in anything other than a schoolyard brawl with young, inexperienced fighters, you are going to have to be willing to evolve your fighting style."

I bite my tongue, frowning angrily. I don't like to be downgraded like this, but I have to admit he's right. The rest of the Akatsuki are better fighters than me, and no matter what the situation is I'm not real enthusiastic about being the weakest in a group of people. If it's an opportunity to become stronger, it comes before my pride in this situation. "Alright, fine. Bring it on, man," I tell him.

To my surprise Itachi smiles slightly. "Very well. But it's not going to be easy."

I shrug. "What _is _easy, these days?"

"Fair point…You can start with strengthening exercises; 300 push-ups."

_Shit. _

Needless to say, Itachi's idea of training isn't what I'd call _fun. _In fact, if you do call it fun, you're nothing short of a masochist. I spend the next two hours doing what I've nicknamed The Workout From Hell. I'd rather not describe it in great detail, but to give you a basic idea, I do push-ups, sit-ups, pull-ups, some weird leg-stretching shit, and run laps. As far as I can tell, Itachi is determined to evaporate every muscle in my body, but especially my arms, shoulders and back. Still, though, no matter how bad it hurts I don't complain, or let myself stop. Itachi opts to gaze at the clouds rather than watch me, which is good, because otherwise it would be pretty creepy.

Anyways, when it's over –which Itachi indicates by telling me, "You're free to go" and walking inside without another word- I walk in through the back door, forcing myself not to stumble even though my arms are practically in spasms. Man, I _know _I must reek like sweat. I need a shower…

"Damn, Mari, that looked harsh," Joseph comments when I walk through the kitchen. I look up to see her sitting on the counter, legs crossed, eating from a bad of Doritos. Blonde Prick is standing next to her, leaning against the cupboards, arms crossed.

"Yeah…" I mutter.

"I'm surprised you didn't puke," she tells me teasingly.

I look up to glare at her.

Blonde Prick snickers. "Bet you regret choosing the Uchiha over me now, hm?"

I narrow my eyes at him. "Not in the slightest," I tell him coldly.

He narrows his eyes back at me.

I leave the kitchen. See, while I've stopped completely ignoring him, that doesn't mean we're cool now. I'm not sure what the hell is going on with that guy. Why does he always seek me out only to be the biggest jerk imaginable? And then, he had to go and apologize like that, which was seriously the last thing I would have ever expected him to do. He's always acted like a dick, but for the past week or so, something's changed. Like something has…shifted slightly to the left. Underneath his general obnoxious mannerisms and personality, it seems he's…well, I wouldn't say he _cares _what I think, per se, but he's…concerned with how I react to him. Like he wants…feedback? Shit, I don't even know. He's a mystery. I'm no good at things like this…

Anyways, since I can't figure out what's going on in his head, all I can control is how I react. Since he _did _do something halfway decent by apologizing to me, I'll talk to him, but that doesn't mean I'm going to be saying nice things.

**Joseph**

I watch as Deidara glares angrily at Mari's back when she leaves. I smile slightly. _Damn, this really drives him nuts, doesn't it?_

When he sees me looking at him, he immediately changes his aggravated expression to an ironic smile, shaking his head and giving a dry chuckle. "She's such a bitch, un…"

"No arguments there," I say, chuckling back, deciding to let his unaffected front go unchallenged, for now. "When she decides to hate someone, she really commits…of course, you aren't exactly making it difficult for her."

He shoots me an irritated glare. "Whatever. Hey, I'm heading over to the convenience store, wanna roll with, hm?"

I shrug. "Sure." I hop off the counter, pushing out my hips with my hands, stretching. "Should we ask what everyone wants?"

Deidara snorts. "Hell no. It's not worth the trouble. Let's just get a 24-pack, un."

"Except fountain drinks for us, right?"

"Well, of course, un," Deidara grins at me as we walk toward the front door.

"And Hidan," I add after a moment of consideration.

Deidara gives me a skeptical look. "Whatever floats your boat…but you're paying for that one, un."

"Which car are we taking?"

He taps the top of a shiny, sleek black car, marred only by recent bullet holes, pulling keys out of his pocket and unlocking the door.

"Ah." I walk around to sit in the passenger's side.

I climb in, asking, "So how exactly does the car system work around here?"

"What do you mean, hm?"

"Who gets to use which cars?"

Deidara grins. "That's easy. We operate on the joyride system; if you can get your hands on the keys, you're golden, un."

"That's awesome."

"I know." He revs the engine and we pull out of the drive, chatting about different times stealing other people's cars. Since I spent three weeks jacking other people's cars, and Deidara is a member of a gang, this conversation is actually pretty entertaining.

When he pull up to the convenience store, I get another idea. "You should buy a fountain drink for Mari."

"What?" he sputtered, like I suggested he buy her a flaming unicorn. "Why the hell would I do that, hm?"

I sigh, pinching the bridge of my nose. "Because you want to go _out _with her," I tell him slowly.

"What makes you think that, hm?"

I give him a skeptical look. "Was it supposed to be a secret?"

He scowls at me. "Forget it. I'm not buying her anything," he tells me, pouting like a little kid. "It's not like it'll help me, anyways, un."

"And why not?"

"I've tried being nice already. Didn't work."

I roll my eyes. "I know what _you_ call being nice, Dei, and…you suck at it." I ignore his dirty look as I go on: "I'm telling you, at the very least it'll make her wonder, and that's good enough."

Deidara paused, looking out the windshield contemplatively. "You really think it'll make that much of a difference, hm?"

"Well, not immediately."

"Then what the hell's the point, un!"

"Jesus, you're like an eleven-year-old," I mutter, putting my palm to my forehead, exasperated. "Look, you have to do nice things often, not just once, to see results. And don't make a big deal out of them, either. Just say 'you're welcome' and walk away."

"I have to do this _often?" _Deidara asks incredulously. "I'm not gonna go around kissing her ass, un!"

"You know what? Fine," I snap. "You probably know what will make Mari like you better than I do. After all, I'm just her best friend, who's known her for years, what would I know? And hey, your irritate-the-hell out of her strategy has been working so well up to now, hasn't it?"

Deidara chuckles. "Lay the sarcasm on a little thicker, why don't'cha, un."

I roll my eyes, digging three dollars out of my pocket and shoving it toward him. "Here, that's for mine and Hidan's drinks. Get Coke for both of us, kay? I'll get the 24-pack." I open the car door, step out, and slam it, making the tinted glass rattle.

I walk into the store and grab a 24-pack of Coke from the right side of the freezer section, pressing the handle-thing in and picking up the cardboard box. I wonder if I should try and get Deidara to buy me some Skittles? Nah, he's not that generous. Then again…

"Hey, Joseph, un."

I look up to see Deidara, hands in his pockets, looking off to the left somewhat sheepishly. "What…kind of soda does Mari like, hm?"

I grin. "Dr. Pepper's her favorite."

On the ride back to the house, I legit catch Blondie glancing at the drink he'd bought Mari like he thought it might morph into an Oompa-Loompa. I just watched him, sweat-dropping. Is the idea of doing something nice for someone else that alien to him? What a freaking weirdo…

**Mari**

I took a pretty quick shower, so I was out by the time Deidara and Joseph returned bearing the great news of sugar and carbonation. "I got _you _your own, Hidan," she tells him cheerfully, holding his out toward him out of the cardboard four-drink holder thingamajig they hand out sometimes.

"You're the fucking best, you know that?" he tells her, grabbing his Coke.

"Yep!" she answers cheerfully.

Deidara looks somewhat disgruntled as he walks toward the living room, to put the box of soda cans in the fridge.

"You got me my own, too, right?" I ask. "Don't tell me you only got Hidan one, it's chicks before dicks after all."

"Hey, don't flip a shit, I got you covered," Joseph tells me, handing me a Styrofoam 44-ouncer. "It's Dr. Pepper."

I grin, taking a huge sip. "Thanks, man!"

"Don't thank me, thank Blondie," she tells me.

I stop sipping, glaring at her. "He bought this?"

"Sure did."

"So why'd _you _hand it to me, man?" I ask grumpily.

"'Cause I was worried you wouldn't accept it from Deidara," she answered calmly.

I glare at her as Deidara walks back into the room. I switch my gaze to him. He crosses his arms.

"What do you _say_, Mari?" Joseph prods me.

I look down at the Dr. Pepper. Well, I don't want to throw it away, I already started drinking it. I'd look like a massive asshole. "Thanks, dude."

He smirks. "You're welcome, un."

To my astonishment, he doesn't try and rub in in my face or make fun of me about it. He just says, 'you're welcome', and walks away.

I frown curiously at the doorway he's just vacated, then shake my head and sit back on the couch, my wet hair soaking through my clothes._ Like I said, the guy's confusing._

* * *

><p>Training turns out to be a pain in the ass, but kind of cool in a challenging-obstacle kind of way. Even though every morning I wake up sore as hell, it's nothing I can't handle. Itachi explained to me that he came up with an exercise program that would be the quickest and most efficient way to increase my muscle mass without running the risk of…something. I tuned out right about then. Attention span of a squirrel here. But anyways, it does start to gradually get a little easier after a few days.<p>

As far as school, _it _actually manages to get shittier. As a rule I generally keep to myself in most of my classes, unless someone I know and actually enjoy happens to inhabit them, but lately a lot of the other girls have been particularly bitchy. I wouldn't even mention it, but I ended up figuring out that it wasn't just Le Biatch and her cronies. At least three quarters of the female population has been collectively treating me like crap. I'm not sure why, and I guess I don't really care, but it's starting to get pretty annoying. I don't mention it to anyone, though. No actual fights have resulted, and I've already been through hell and back when it comes to being bullied. It's not important.

It's a week before spring break when anyone from the Akatsuki notices anything. Me, Kisame, and Deidara are headed the same way in the morning, discussing a possible prank we might pull on the chemistry lab geeks. "I'm telling you, man, those fumes can be lethal," I tell Kisame.

"So we'll dilute it."

"I'm more concerned with the part where the chemicals go boom, un."

"Well of course _you _are, Bin Ladin."

This is when some random black-haired chick, along with two others, none of whom have names I know or care about, walk by me. "Hey, you're a whore," she tells me unoriginally.

I curl my lip. "You're one to talk, man."

They laugh and walk off. I glare after them.

"Why do you put up with that?" Kisame asks me after they leave. "All you gotta do is flash your ring at 'em and they'd be running for the hills."

"Yeah," Deidara smirks at me. "Come on, you're an Akatsuki now, Tough Girl, you can't be taking shit from anyone. You gotta think about our reputation, un."

I glare at him. "I'm not gonna flaunt being an Akatsuki like that, man."

They give me unimpressed looks, and I feel compelled to explain, "I'm not about to go piggybacking on your guys' reputation...or change the way I operate. I'll do things my way, man."

Deidara snickers. "So it's not a 'being a good person' thing, it's a 'you're still pissed about being a member' thing, un."

"Fuck off, Deidara."

"Well, don't you still have a score to settle with that one girl…what's her name?" Kisame asks me.

"Oh, yeah, Moegi. Damn, I actually forgot about her…" Don't I feel stupid.

"Well, you have to go after her pretty soon," Kisame told me. "The whole school knows you told her you'd make her pay. If you don't, people are gonna start taking the Akatsuki less seriously."

"Yeah, because that's really my main concern," I reply sarcastically. "Besides, they don't really seem to know I'm a member yet."

"Oh, so that's why they're being so shitty," Deidara chuckles. "Guess it makes sense…Those fangirls can get pretty ugly. I think that chick who just called you a whore used to go out with me, un."

I blink. "She used to be your girlfriend?"

He laughs. "Well, _she _thought she was my girlfriend…"

I stare at him, then shake my head in disgust. "Un-fucking-believable…"

Well, disregarding the obnoxious womanizer, the conversation reminded me of my beef with Moegi. I'd actually forgotten, what with more recent events and all. I still have to put her back in her place, somehow, especially since if you think about it, I never would've been forced into the Akatsuki if it weren't for that little stunt she pulled. The thing is, I'm still angry at her, but it's like that anger has gone from a burning need to make her regret what she did, to a less-urgent determination to make sure she doesn't think she can get away with that kind of thing again. I don't know…I decide to deal with her later. When I understand how I feel about it a little better.

* * *

><p><strong>Yeah, I don't know what the fuck I was thinking with this chapter. Sorry for the randomness, just go with it please. <strong>

**Anyways, a lot of people have been commenting that they're starting to really hate Deidara. I guess I can't say much to that, I mean, when I was writing his POVs in the last couple of chapters I was pretty pissed at him (which makes no sense…) too. The thing is, though, Deidara's not that nice of a guy. I figured if he was going to be interested in a girl, it would be for a selfish and kind of jerkass reason. So, I guess I'm sorry for the asshole-ness, but I **_**am **_**devoting reasonable efforts to keeping the Akatsuki in character, so what can you do. **

**I've decided to make my total review goal be 1000. Which, is kind of unlikely, I think, but who knows? When I started this story I didn't expect it to get more than 4 reveiws. Speaking of which, thank you guys _so _much for putting up with: my insanely long and random A/Ns that almost always have nothing to do with the story; all the typos I'm too lazy to go back and fix; my review-whore tendencies; the long waits you have to deal with between chapters; the crack quality of some parts of the story (coughcoughchapter14cough); and for the fact that I keep getting myself into shit and can't update because I'm grounded for months on end. This story has actually become really important to me, and I'm going to make it the best that I can. I'm supremely grateful to everyone who's reviewed this story, added it to their favorites, DRAWN FAN ART, or even just read it. It means more than I can say. :D**

**Alright, mushy I-love-you-guys rant is over. Please, PLEASE reveiw, and thanks for reading!**

**-amy out**


	32. Back to Buisness

**To anyone who cares: Me and blackcatgirl have finally got over our writer's block, and chapter 3 of Angels, Devils, and Ipods is posted. Read and review, if you haven't already!**

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><p>My first official gang mission after my initiation started that Friday before school, when Leader summoned me, Kisame, and Itachi into his and Konan's room. Unfortunately for me, I happened to be asleep at the time.<p>

"Mari, wake up."

I shove the pillow over my head, unwilling to rouse myself at the demands of whoever it was that was saying my name.

"Get up, Mari. Leader wants to see us."

I grunt.

A foot is placed on my ribs, pausing before giving me a powerful kick.

"BALLS!" I roll off the bed (Joseph is working early this morning) and onto the floor from the force of the kick. I look up and glare at Kisame, who's grinning toothily at me. "What the fuck, Kisame!"

His grin grows. "Sorry, Mari; I _did _try to be nice."

I flip him the bird.

"Anyways, Leader told me you have five minutes to be in his office three and a half minutes ago. If I were you I'd be there on time." He shouldered a giant sword (? I'll have to ask him about that later), grinned at me one last time, then turned and jumped down through the trapdoor into the hallway.

"Dick…" I mutter to myself, standing up and stretching. I know I'll regret it if I don't show up in time to face Leader, but I still go to the bathroom and brush my teeth before I, too, jump down into the hallway, out of spite.

I stumble into the room like a zombie, without knocking (since it _is _my house, after all). Leader had managed to morph my dad's drinking hangout into a joint bedroom-and-office, somehow fitting a large wooden desk in there without my knowing. Itachi stands to the left of the room, Kisame next to him. When Kisame sees me, he snickers. "Nice hair."

I hadn't bothered to brush my hair before reporting. "Why thank you."

Leader clears his throat, and we both shut up. "I have a mission for you three."

_Well, no shit, _I think, but I don't say anything. I just continue to stare, bleary-eyed, at the pierced, orange-haired man.

He goes on to explain: "It seems that the drug trade in the area is being negatively affected by Oto selling cheap and poorly made methamphetamines. A fourteen-year-old who took it has already died from its use. You are to discover who is dealing this product and shut them down, by whatever means necessary." He picked up a pen and started writing something (I've never gotten the impression that leading a gang entailed doing paperwork, but after all he is the Leader, not me). "You are dismissed."

We turn to leave, my sleepy mind starting to awaken with questions. "'Cheap and poorly made' meth? Aren't all drugs cheap and poorly made?" I ask.

"They're not supposed to be," Kisame answers. "Well, they _are_ all dangerous, but I guess this stuff is worse, somehow."

"Some kid _died? _How do we know it wasn't just from using meth?" Not to be an asshole or anything, but if you're gonna be doing meth, it's pretty much given that there are risks.

"Sasori mentioned it to me previously," Itachi cuts in. "He was able to get information on the autopsy. The boy died because the drugs in question were badly manufactured."

"Huh." We walk into the kitchen, where Konan is pouring coffee into a mug. (Apparently she's an early riser.) "So, how exactly are we supposed to find out who's selling this shit, man?"

Kisame thinks about it, and then shrugs, turning to Itachi. "Any ideas?"

"I will handle it," Itachi tells us as I start to pour my own coffee.

"Sounds good to me," Kisame replies.

"No complaints here, man," I mutter as I pour a fuck-ton of sugar into my coffee. "So, we just go to school like normal while you play Sherlock Holmes?"

"That's about right," Kisame answers.

"Well, gee, that was worth getting up early for, man."

"Oh, don't complain. You always wake up at about this time, anyways."

I grunt, unwilling to be cheered up.

"This is your first official mission, isn't it?" Konan asks me, smiling. "Good luck, Mari."

I half-smile at her. "Thanks, Konan."

"Isn't_ this_ heartwarming," a dry voice comments.

I turn around to see Sasori has entered the kitchen, looking as bored and aloof as always. "Don't be an asshole, man," I tell him.

To no one's surprise he doesn't answer me. "I take it your team is addressing the issue we discussed yesterday?" he asks Itachi.

Itachi nods his assent.

Sasori nods back in satisfaction. "Good. Kakuzu's been complaining about the competition's effects on our profit margin."

I give him a look. "Are you kidding me, man?"

"I'm not sure what you're referring to," he answers coolly.

"Like hell you're not. I mean, some kid died from taking this shit, and you're sitting here talking about the _profit margin?_"

He raises a condescending eyebrow. "That's all that concerns me."

"Because the dead kid doesn't."

"Not particularly."

I shake my head, looking away, knowing Sasori's not going to suddenly start caring about others anytime soon.

"Don't worry, Mari, it concerns the rest of us," Kisame tells me. "We don't take kindly to Oto selling drugs to a kid that young in our territory."

"Not to mention making it incorrectly and causing the boy to die for their negligence," Itachi puts in.

Kisame nods.

I frown. Well, that's not what I was expecting. "I didn't think you guys…"

"What? Cared about the people on our turf?" Konan asks.

"Well, yeah."

Kisame shakes his head at me. "You ought to pay more attention, Mari."

"The Akatsuki's main purpose is to provide peace to Konoha and the surrounding area, and eventually, the world," Konan told me. "If something is going on that endangers that goal, it's our responsibility to put a stop to it."

"Huh." I drain the last of my now-lukewarm coffee, thinking about what Konan said. The Akatsuki cares about the people on their turf? So, they're kind of like vigilantes, rather than the violent, self-absorbed assholes I've always considered gangbangers to be. I could almost be okay with being a part of that…

Then I remember shooting that Oto girl, the way the bullet hole had looked, the _thud _her body made as it hit the floor, and of course the horror I felt, as if the hand that had held the gun and pulled the trigger was contaminated with the act of killing.

The grudging approval that had started to manifest itself vanished. They're killers, and they made me become one, too. I can't let myself forget this.

"So we're clear?"

I look up and realize that I've spaced out. Itachi and Kisame are looking at me expectantly.

"Uh…"

"You're to meet with Kisame in the back of the school during lunch," Itachi tells me slowly.

I nod. "Got it."

"Good." Itachi crosses his arms, glancing at me, still in my pajamas. "We'll be leaving in ten minutes."

I make a face. "Yeah, yeah, I'll get dressed; just hold up for a minute, man." I put my coffee mug into the sink and turn to leave the kitchen, almost bumping into Blonde Prick. I sidestep him, maneuvering my hip so I won't brush up against him.

"Hey, where's the fire, Tough Girl, hm?"

"You oughta know, pyro," I answer, not even stopping to look at him as I walk through the living room.

"You should let me give you a ride to school, un."

I snort. "Couldn't even if I wanted to. Kisame, Itachi and I have a mission."

He follows me into the hallway, continuing to talk to me as I climb the ladder.

"Really? What is it, hm?"

"Ask them. I have to change, man." I pull up the trapdoor behind me, silencing his protests.

Kai is waking up as I do this. "G'morning, Mari," he mutters, rubbing his eyes. He's so cute when he's just woken up …not that I would admit to anyone I just thought that. Least of all to him. He hates being called cute.

"Good morning, Kai," I answer, pawing through my dresser (what's left of it. Damn you, Deidara) to find acceptable clothes for the day. I'll probably need to fight dealers of shitty drugs later on today, so I need some loose clothes…a T-shirt and loose jeans should be good…

"Do all those guys _have _to live here?"

I stiffen up, before swiftly turning around. "Kai, are they being shitty to you?" I ask. "Seriously, if they try and push you around, just tell me and-"

"No, no, that's not it," Kai cuts me off. "Sheesh, calm down."

"So what is it, man?"

"I just don't get why they're living here." He looks at me with those huge, innocent, killer blue eyes. "It's getting pretty crowded."

I sigh, cocking a hip and putting a hand on it, looking at Kai sympathetically. "Yeah, I know…I'm sorry Kai. It's just…it's complicated." I don't know how to explain to him, without telling him too much, that I'm a member of Akatsuki now against my will, that I probably will always be, that I might have to do horrible things in the future for the sake of mine and his well-being.

"I'm not stupid, Mari," he says suddenly, as if he's reading my mind. "They made you a member of their gang, huh?"

I sit down on my bed, facing him, smiling a humorless half-smile. "Yeah."

He's quiet for a second. "Why?"

I shrug. "I still don't know, man."

He looks at me in contemplation. "I'll bet they just thought you were really good at fighting, or something."

I grin at that. "Something like that."

We're both quiet for a while. I feel steadily more and more sorry for Kai, first for the kind of life he's had to live at _nine years old, _and then at how much older he seems than nine. I wish he hasn't had to grow up so fast the way he has. I've tried my hardest to stand between him and the things that go bump in the night, but there are some things even I can't do. Some things you can't fix by fighting them.

Kai sounds unacceptably old, unacceptably serious and sad for his age when he speaks again. "Dad…isn't coming back, is he."

It's not a question. Kai already knows the sad truth. He's only asking me for confirmation of his fears. I wish I could lie to him, tell him that I'm not sure, that we can never truly be sure. That maybe Dad went to extensive rehab or something, did something that could purge the alcohol from his body, something that could heal him. That Dad might have found Mom, and settled their differences. That our parents might already be on their way back here, to apologize to us, to accept our forgiveness (or, at least , Kai's, since mine is long gone by now), to be here to protect us and take care of us the way parents should.

I wish I could tell my little brother that things might get better. But since I can't, I'll just have to believe he's strong enough to deal with the truth. "No. Him or Mom…they're both gone."

He looks down, staring at his knees. I get up, going to sit next to him, putting an arm around his shoulder. It reminds me of all the other times –the last few years, especially- when I've came into his room at night, to give him someone to hold on through the screaming and the tears and the broken glass and the loneliness. I tell him the same thing I did then, the same thing I always have: "I can't do anything about them. And I'm sorry. But I'm always gonna be here for you, you hear me? Always."

He nods.

I hold on for another second or two before ending the moment. "And cheer up, okay? So what if they're not here? Life's what you make it and all that shit."

He looks up at me and smiles. "Yeah."

I smile back, before going back to find a suitable pair of jeans…I really have to hurry now, they're probably about to leave…I'll just do my eyeliner at school, I guess.

Three minutes later, clad in boots, baggy jeans and a black T-shirt with a spiked collar (Hot Topic fucking _rules), _I stumble down the stairs, hopping into the living room on one foot as I tie my right shoe, my black and red backpack swinging off my shoulder.

"About time," Kisame grumbles, balancing his sword on its tip on the carpet.

"Aw, chill," I tell him, finishing with my shoes and heading out the front door along with Itachi and Kisame.

"Shotgun," Kisame says as Itachi sits in the driver's seat of a sleek black car. Kisame himself circles around the back to put that huge-ass sword of his in the trunk. I'll be surprised if it even fits.

"Damn you," I tell him, opening the back door and climbing in. I sit in the middle, tossing my bag into the seat beside me. I don't bother with the seatbelt, leaning forward so I'll be able to see Itachi and Kisame better.

Itachi rolled out of the driveway, glancing in the rear-view mirrors.

"Don't worry, Mari," Kisame tells me, grinning. "This is a pretty basic assignment. Leave it to us, we'll show you the ropes."

I snort. "Lucky me." I cross my arms, looking at Kisame. "So what exactly do we do, once we find the guys?"

"You mean once _Itachi _finds the guys," he corrects me.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever."

"Well," Kisame starts, gazing upwards casually, "after Itachi picks us up-"

"Which could be at any time today, so the two of you should stay on your toes," Itachi cuts in.

Kisame nods. "We'll head over to the source. Itachi will ask them nicely to cease and desist…"

I notice Itachi gives Kisame a slight dirty look at this. Kisame ignores it and goes on: "And, unless they're either total idiots or just haven't heard of us, that's when I jump in and beat the piss out of them. Scare 'em off with Samehada."

"Say what?"

"My badass sword," he grins.

I roll my eyes. "You _named _your sword? Seriously?"

"Hey, don't be talking shit. I notice _you _didn't even bring a weapon."

"Oh, yeah. Shit. You'd think I would have remembered something like that…"

"Look under your seat," Itachi tells me tonelessly.

Frowning, I do, and find a black metal baseball bat, with the red Akatsuki cloud logo on the side. I pick it up and look at it in surprise. "…Damn."

"Itachi makes a point to always be prepared," says Kisame.

"Yeah, he's a regular boy scout, man."

Itachi gives _me _a dirty look through the rearview mirror. I accidentally glance at his black eyes in the mirror, before remembering his Sharingan and looking away. Then I look back, wondering if he could use it through a reflection.

"No need to worry. I need direct eye contact to use the Sharingan," Itachi tells me, veiled amusement hidden in his otherwise solemn tone.

I jump, then glare at him through his reflection. "How do you _do _that, man?!"

I think I see a hint of laughter in his eyes before he looks back to the road.

Kisame laughs. "Itachi's damn near psychic."

"I've noticed." I lean back and look out the window, still glaring. I think I liked Weasel Dick better before he developed this irritating sense of humor…I don't appreciate being messed with.

* * *

><p>I don't know what Itachi did, but he managed to track down our target and drive back to the school by fourth period. I'd spent the morning wondering if I was going to have to fake a really bad stomachache to get out of class, but as it is things ended up going smoothly; I'd said goodbye to Naruto as we were walking toward our next classes after English, then turned the corner to run into Kisame.<p>

"Well, that was easy," he comments. "Hey, Itachi found 'em. Time to bounce." He turns around in the opposite direction, motioning for me to follow.

"Cool." I follow him through the hallways as the stream of kids rushing to their next classes slowly thins out. The bell rings just as he pushes open the door, holding one arm out behind him to keep it open until I put my hand on it.

We're in the back of the school, in between the gardens and the alley. Granted, it is an alley paved with marble (alright, now they're just showing off), but it is an alley nonetheless. Itachi sits in the driver's seat of the smoothly running car, the window rolled down. He looks at us expressionlessly. "Hurry."

"We're on it, we're on it…"

I climb in the back as Kisame circles around to sit in the front again. "They're gonna notice we ditched," I say impassively.

"Yeah, but would you rather face Tsunade or Leader?"

"Tsunade, of course."

"There you have it."

I grin lopsidedly, cocking an ankle over my knee. I'm glad for Kisame being on this team. He eases the tension. Otherwise things would be really, really…awkward. Although, truth be told, he is kinda…well, freaky. All beware of Shark Boy. Still, he's not all serious and uptight like Itachi is, so all in all he's pretty cool.

"Itachi," Kisame whines. "Let's get Cokes!"

"Hell yeah!" I agree enthusiastically.

"Kisame, this is serious," Itachi replies, switching on a blinker.

"Aw, it's just a drug bust," Kisame complains. "Who says we have to be thirsty?"

"_I_ do. That is final."

I raise an eyebrow. "And why do you get the final say, man?"

Itachi looks at me through the rearview mirror, glaring slightly. Despite the sudden chill in the air, I don't look away. After a few seconds he looks away dismissively. "Because I am the one driving the car."

"Damn." I lean forward, resting my head on my hand. "You're no fun, man."

"Tell me about it," Kisame answers.

"This is not about fun."

I grunt.

* * *

><p>To my surprise, Itachi stops in front of a quite nice, well-off house, rather than one in the ghetto like last time. I never expected a drug house to have two stories, a well-kept lawn and a clean, white driveway; in other words, be nicer than my <em>own <em>house. I crinkle my nose as I step out of the car, baseball bat in my left hand. "Nice place."

"Got that right." Kisame raises an eyebrow at Itachi. "I believe we've been here before, haven't we?"

"Indeed. This is Kabuto's residence," Itachi answers grimly.

"Ohhh. So _he's _behind all this," Kisame chuckles, but I see his eyes narrow.

"Who's Kabuto, man?"

They both fall silent, glancing at me, then at each other, seeming to come to some kind of an unspoken agreement.

Kisame sighs. "You'll see soon enough."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Just…be careful. Kabuto's not exactly a pushover," he tells me as he turns around to face the door. He turns the knob, finding it locked.

"…Good to know," I mutter. Gee, that's nice to hear. 'Not a pushover'. Coming from Kisame, that means he's probably going to try to kill us at some point, but hey, how's that worrying? Me, nervous? Psshh…

"Heed Kisame's warning," Itachi says as the shark-boy in question rams his shoulder into the door, forcing it to open. He goes on (before I have time to comment on his prehistoric choice of words) as we enter the home: "Kabuto is a higher-up in the ranks of Oto, in fact, second in command to their leader, Orouchimaru –and has all the threatening skill and cruel disposition one would expect from someone of his ranking. Do not underestimate him."

I'm still digesting this new information, trying to commit the names Orouchimaru and Kabuto to my memory, when an unfamiliar, somewhat snarky and nerdy voice seeps out from a doorway on the right. "Why, Itachi. I had no idea you thought so highly of me."

I jump and turn toward the source of the voice, as Kisame and Itachi turn around casually to face the guy named Kabuto. My first thought was, _there is no way Kisame and Itachi consider this guy a threat. _

Kabuto looks like a world-class nerd. He's wearing large, round, Harry-Potter style glasses, over an unremarkable face with an amused expression. He's wearing a blue collared plaid shirt, white _khakis_ (for God's sake), and sneakers, leaning against the doorway with crossed arms. He looks like he should be studying up for AP everything, so he can get into some snooty-sounding college, not trying to be all gangster-ish.

"Kabuto," Itachi greets calmly, unfazed.

Kabuto nods. "Itachi." I can't see his eyes through the reflection of his glasses, but I see his head turn slightly toward Kisame. "And Kisame. You've grown…although I must say I don't know how you managed it."

Kisame growls, swinging his sword down off his shoulder, into position to be used, although he doesn't attack. I raise my eyebrows. This guy doesn't look nearly hardcore enough to back up this kind of an attitude. Either he's secretly a total hardass (somehow), or he's stupid.

Then he turns his attention to me. "And what have we here? I take it this is the Akatsuki's new pet I've been hearing about."

As you can probably imagine, I didn't take kindly to being called a pet. "Hey, watch it, buddy," I snarl. "You know, you talk a lot of shit, for a guy wearing _plaid_. You'd better _hope_ you can back it up, man."

Kabuto chuckles. "I think you'd be surprised."

"Try me." I tighten my grip on my baseball bat; no matter how big this guy talks, there's three of us and one of him. Of course, I could probably take him on my own, if it came to that; as I've already said, he looks like a nerdy bitch.

But before anything could happen, Itachi cuts in. "That's not what we're here for. Kabuto, we've heard tell that Oto has been selling unsatisfactory products to those far too young, resulting in the death of a fourteen-year-old. Care to explain?"

For the first time, Nerdy Asshole's amused, unaffected front slips, allowing anger to seep through to the surface. "And what, exactly, makes you think I am obliged to explain myself to the likes of you?"

As soon as the words leave his mouth, Kisame springs into action, swinging his giant sword around as if it weighed no more than an ounce rather than the fifty or so pounds I'd be willing to guess it actually did. Within a split second he tears a giant hole in Kabuto's house, sending a coffee table with a quaint-looking vase of flowers on it to the ground in pieces. His sword is aimed at Kabuto, who barely manages to block by pulling out a six-inch-long knife, holding it in the range of Kisame's attack.

They sit there, Kabuto glaring, Kisame grinning victoriously, as their two weapons shake with the boy's efforts to push them toward their opponent.

I give a small snort of laughter at the situation. A six-inch knife versus Samehada? Kabuto doesn't have a fucking chance…If this scene were a picture on Facebook, the caption would read 'Bitch please'.

The knife starts slowly inching closer to Kabuto.

Kisame chuckles.

Itachi sighs. "I was hoping we could skip this part of the negotiations…"

"I wasn't," Kisame replies.

Itachi ignores him. "But it seems you are still insistent on trying my patience…Kabuto."

_Damn, Itachi's a boss, _I think, twirling my baseball bat around in my hand and wondering if I'm even going to have to do much of anything today. Itachi and Kisame are pretty much owning this shit, without my help.

Kabuto scowls. He quickly steps away from Kisame's sword, allowing Samehada to fall where he had been seconds before with all the force of an angry Shark Boy. "What is it, exactly, that you want?" Kabuto asks, his slippery attitude coming back with a side order of killer intent.

"Thanks for asking," says Kisame nastily.

"You are to immediately halt all sales of methamphetamines," Itachi says, inflicting upon Kabuto the infamous Uchiha glare, "and refrain from selling drugs of any kind in the Western portion of Konoha."

"Oh, are we." Kabuto replies sarcastically. "And if we don't?"

This time, Itachi steps in to deal with Kabuto himself. He takes three steps toward him, towering over Kabuto, making the two inches of height difference between them seem more like ten. "You will have _us_ to answer to," Itachi replies simply. Now, some people couldn't pull that line off and make it truly intimidating, but trust me. I could feel the Killer Intent from across the room.

Kabuto scowls deeper, glaring at Itachi. "How long do you think things will continue to go on like this?" Kabuto asks in a low, quiet voice laced with venom. "Oto outnumbers the Akatsuki ten to one, and we get new recruits every day."

Kisame snorts. "How intimidating," he sneers.

"You and I both know that each member of the Akatsuki is more than a match for ten Oto," Itachi replies dismissively. "It's quality over quantity."

I sweatdrop slightly at these words. _Is he including me in that? _I wonder. _Because not that it's not flattering and all, but at the moment I'm glad it's three-on-one. _

"Is that so," Kabuto replies mockingly, but I can tell he knows he's on the losing end this time.

"Yes." Itachi steps away, ending the glare. "Do not make us come back here again."

Itachi starts to walk away. Well, that was quick. Kisame and I turn to follow.

Suddenly an arm snakes roughly around my throat, pulling me away from my teammates. A cold thrill of fear runs through me, unleashing a rush of adrenaline. I jam my elbow into the body that's restraining me. The hold loosens and I slip out, turning around to see Kabuto bent over at the stomach. Without thinking I bring my baseball bat up and start to swing it down, hard, toward his head-

His hand reaches up and catches it, stopping it in its tracks. He smiles sinisterly at me.

I twist the bat out of his hold, bringing it down and then swiftly up again as I try to attack, this time kicking in the same moment in an attempt to catch him off guard.

He swiftly blocks, and although I'm sure his left forearm will have a nasty bruise tomorrow, he's overall unharmed. "Is that the best you can do?"

Before I even have time to try to think of a comeback, Kisame swings Samehada out of nowhere and clips Kabuto right in the side of the head. Since he was distracted by me, he didn't defend himself in time, and it was a clean hit –Kisame knocked him the fuck out!

Once Kabuto has fallen to the floor, I turn to grin at Kisame. "Nice one, man."

He grins back. "Thanks. I've been wanting to do that for a while. Nerdy little shit…"

"Why do you think he even attacked me at all?" I ask, frowning.

"He probably wanted to get an idea of your skill," Itachi says calmly, staring at the lump on the ground. "That, and to compensate for the fact that he could never dream of taking us on one-on-one."

"Oh." I scrunch my nose in annoyance, realizing that Kabuto probably _could _take me one-on-one, and even worse, that I had to have Kisame bail me out. Lame.

"Anyways, we have him at our mercy now," Kisame notices, still grinning. "Should we kill him?"

I'm startled at the viciousness of the question at first. I'm still not used to living in a world where killing someone is an appropriate measure for dealing with them.

"No," Itachi answers. "We need him to spread the word that Oto isn't to sell their product anymore."

"Oh yeah. I forgot about that."

"Yeah, me too," I tell Kisame.

He shrugs. "Oh well. That's what we have Itachi for."

"But, considering he _did _just attack an Akatsuki right in front of us," Itachi goes on in a calm voice that only he (and maybe Sasori) would be capable of under the circumstances. "I think this calls for a certain amount of…retribution."

Kisame's grin slowly grows, until he starts to look like a Great White going in for the kill. "I couldn't agree more, partner."

"What does that mean?" I ask, not getting it yet.

In answer, Kisame swings out his giant, badass sword again, toward the staircase this time, and in doing so, destroys the lower half of the railing. "It means we get to fuck his shit up," he tells me happily.

I grin back, gripping my baseball bat, before swinging it around to shatter a window to my right. "Sounds good to me, man!"

"I'll leave you two to it," Itachi monotones. "Just try not to destroy anything valuable in a room before I've gone through it."

He leaves to go up the stairs, to find whatever the hell it is he's looking for.

Kisame looks at me. "I'll take the living room."

"I've got the kitchen."

"Have fun!"

"Will do!" I jump into the kitchen, stomping on Kabuto's hands as I do, find the first breakable object I can –the glass coffee pot- and hit it with my baseball bat, smashing it into smithereens and sending glass shards flying. Next is the chrome toaster, left dented and with pieces falling off. I grin, enjoying myself as I bash my way through every object I see, quickly turning the kitchen into a disaster zone. The fridge was kind of hard, but I ended up deciding just to trash the place with food everywhere, and break the shelves found inside. Meanwhile I can hear Kisame destroying the living room and laughing with glee.

I'm in the process of breaking the legs of the chairs when Kisame enters the kitchen. "Still not done yet?"

"Nah," I answer, as one of the legs gives a satisfying _crack. _"I'm still trying to think of a way to trash his kitchen table."

"Allow me," Kisame says, lifting his sword. I jump aside just as he slams it down on the table, which swiftly crumples and cracks into two pieces before my eyes.

My eyes widen. Holy _shit. _All beware of Shark Boy indeed.

Me and Kisame are playing baseball with apples and oranges to kill time when Itachi comes down from the top floor, holding a plastic bag containing some kind of electronic devices, and some papers. (Geez, what _is _it with all the paperwork lately?) We don't notice at first:

"Strike two!" Kisame crows. "One more try, Mari!"

"Bring that shit on, man!"

He throws, and this time it's a direct hit; my baseball bat connects with the apple, splattering the already-trashed kitchen with applesauce as me and Kisame cheer.

"Are the two of you quite done?"

We jump at his voice. "Damn, Weasel, you're quiet as shit," I tell him, wiping a piece of shattered apple out of my bangs.

"It's time to leave."

"Roger." Kisame looks at me and grins again, holding out a giant hand toward me. "Good game."

I shake it, trying to ignore how small my hand is compared to his. "Good game."

And we all go get in the car, and drive off, before Kabuto even wakes up.

"What do you even have that giant sword for, anyways?" I ask Kisame on the way home.

"Ah, just for show, mostly," he answers flippantly. "When it's a ground fight and we're going for intimidation, I find people usually respond well to Samehada."

I snort, remembering the utter devastation of the guy's table. "I'll bet they do."

"So, would you say it's a mission successful?" Kisame asks Itachi.

"I would," Itachi answers casually as he turns a corner. "Although we will have to keep an eye on Oto for the next few weeks."

"Yep." Kisame turns around to look at me. "You did good."

"Me? I hardly did anything."

"Exactly."

"Dick."

* * *

><p><strong>Yeah, FUCK YOU, Kabuto. -_- Also: Destroying shit with Kisame = my fucking DREAM.<strong>

**Looking back, Mari didn't really get a lot of action in this chapter…oh well. **

**Coming up inthe next chapter...Nonsense. Lots of it. It's already in the works, so review! Or I'll set Mari and Kisame loose to beat the shit out of _your_ house and posessions. You have been warned. -_- So, review!**

**-amy out**


	33. And Swiftly Back to Nonsense

**I dedicate this chapter to Three Days Grace and prehistoric episodes of Seinfeld. **

**Kimimarou? …Maybe. You know I mostly just make this up as I go along…**

**Don't worry, I am definetly going to improve Mari's skills set. One thing I can't stand is a weak heroine. The thing is, Mari's a bit of a narcissist, so when something small happens that makes her feel weak, she reads a lot into it. **

**I know I promised nonsense, but I'm in a bit of a bad mood lately, so it turned out a bit more serious. Sorry to anyone who was expecting crack.**

**Lyrics from Toxicity by System of a Down.**

* * *

><p>I decide to keep an ear out for news about Oto after that. From what I hear, Kabuto must have passed it along that any one of his boys caught selling shit on our turf would regret it, because Kakuzu mentioned that business has picked back up lately. It occurs to me that, really, I don't have any idea about Oto or how it operates. All I really know so far that it's a large gang of hundreds or more, their colors are blue and white, their Leader is some guy named Orouchimaru, they're assholes, and they don't stand a chance against the Akatsuki; their only advantage they have over us is their numbers. Apparently they let anyone who can use a gun join up, whereas Akatsuki only lets in individuals that Leader thinks are "worthy" or whatever. Come to think of it, I'm not really sure how the Akatsuki operates for the most part, either. Shouldn't I have a better understanding of my own gang?<p>

Whoa, whoa, wait. I mean, shouldn't I have a better understanding of Akatsuki, so I know what I'm up against.

I sit in the kitchen eating cereal as I replay my miniature-fight with Kabuto over and over again in my head, watching him smoothly put an arm out to block both my attacks in my mind's eye. Remembering the smug look on his face, and his smug words: "The Akatsuki's new _pet."_ "Is that the best you can do?" I remember how I didn't do hardly anything useful at all…I just followed Kisame and Itachi. Well, mostly Itachi. He's the only one who really seemed to know what he was doing. If he weren't there, Kisame probably would've gotten into a huge try-to-cut-your-head-off brawl with Kabuto, and I would've just been standing around holding my baseball bat like "What the fuck am I supposed to do here?"

I scowl at my bowl of Fruity Pebbles. I don't like feeling useless. I can see now that that Kabuto guy was actually a really good fighter –otherwise the boys wouldn't have taken him so seriously- but that doesn't mean it's okay that he would've been able to beat me, had it came down to the two of us. I have to get stronger, and better at fighting. I guess that's what training is for. At first I wondered why we had to train –I'm not the only one, either, at any given time at least some of the boys will be at the gym working out- since all I've seen on TV of gangs is people shooting each other and selling drugs and acting tough. Now I understand; the gangs around here actually learn martial arts. No wonder Leader wants his gang to be pseudo-ninjas; there's so few Akatsuki, if he were to lose just one or two guys, the entire gang would be crippled.

"So, how'd it go?" Joseph asks, plunking down across the table from me.

I blink, having forgotten she was here. "How'd what go?"

Joseph gives me a don't-be-a-dumbass look. "Earlier. The drug-bust-thing. What happened?"

"Mmm…" I take a bite, crunching up the sugary cereal as I tell her, "Well, we walked into this house, and this nerdy bitch named Kabuto started shit-talking, so I told him to shut the hell up, and he said to make him, and then Itachi and Kisame got in his face and made him." I swallow, taking another bite. "They told him not to sell shit anymore, and we were leaving, but then he decided to get all cute and try to grab me by the throat, so Kisame knocked him the fuck out, and we trashed his house. The end."

Joseph sweatdrops. "You're not very good at story-telling."

"Deal with it." I bring my bowl up to my lips and tilt it toward my face, sipping the sweetened, discolored milk. "Anyways, my guess is that we're gonna have to go and beat the hell out of some Oto dealers who try and sell their shit even though we warned 'em not to."

"Huh. You think I could go with you guys, sometime?" Joseph asks, leaning back in her chair and looking at the ceiling.

"Why?"

"It sounds pretty badass."

I shrug. "Well, it's not really up to me, man. You could ask Leader, I guess."

Joseph rolls her eyes toward me. "He's _scary."_

"Yeah."

"But anyways…" she trails off, looking thoughtful. "I think what you guys are doing is awesome."

"_What? _Why?" I ask, since I still consider my membership in Akatsuki as an unwanted obligation, not something to be proud of.

"It's like, you're all fighting for a cause, one you care about," she explains, eyes running over the bumps in the ceiling like she's trying to make out constellations. "All individuals, but still somehow part of a whole…I don't know how to explain it, it's like you have…meaning. A purpose."

I raise an eyebrow. "That _purpose _being, what? Leader's…_whims?" _

Joseph shakes her head. "You're missing the point. Hidan told me the Akatsuki fights for peace."

"Yeah, because _Hidan's _the expert on peace," I snort. "Besides, isn't fighting for peace like fucking for virginity?"

Joseph shakes her head. "Mari, if you'd pay attention you'd see their ideas are a lot like yours. You just don't want to admit it, because they forced you into it."

I scowl, glaring at her for a second, before looking away and clamming up. "Whatever, man."

* * *

><p>That night, while Joseph is in the bathroom of the room we share, I dig out my Akatsuki ring from my bottom dresser drawer, pushing aside wrinkled and slightly yellowed papers with my own scribbled writing on them. I pull it out, sit Indian-style on the floor, and take a close look at it, running my fingers over the smooth surface. It's black, with the red Akatsuki cloud emblem on the front, my name painted in kanji in black paint, contrasting with the blood red cloud. As I touch the cloud, I see that there's actually thin but stout sharp metal lining on the cloud, sticking out from the ring. I grimace as I realize exactly what purpose the lining serves; to ensure that if you punch someone while wearing it, it'll leave a thin, bloody imprint of the Akatsuki cloud on your victim's skin. (I'll bet you anything Sasori laces his with poison.) The ring itself actually looks powerful and dignified, at first glance…until you notice the silver lining on the cloud, and realize its true purpose.<p>

It's not a ring for decoration, or even for proof of participation in a solemn yet still righteous cause. It's a ring meant for violence and intimidation, and that's it.

I turn it over in my fingers contemplatively. I haven't worn it yet, not once, and I don't plan to -even though after that first mission I think I can be okay with some of the things the Akatsuki does. As a last defiance, I guess, no matter how lost I become, even if I'm not sure what I could hope to achieve by it. Even if it doesn't make any sense. After all, defiance _has _always come naturally to me, no matter what the situation.

"Cool ring."

I jump at my best friend's voice, throwing the ring into my bottom drawer like a guilty kid caught with a cigarette.

"Didn't know it was a state secret," Joseph comments drily, towel-drying her hair.

"Shut up, man!"

* * *

><p><em>Somewhere between the sacred silence and sleep,<em>

_Disorder! Disorder! Disorder…_

System of A Down blares through the living room stereo that Saturday, as me, Joseph, Kakuzu, Sasori, and Deidara are sitting around in a circle, playing poker out of pure boredom. I'm in between Deidara and Kakuzu, with Sasori next to Deidara and Joseph across from me, lying on her stomach.

Now, I'm usually pretty good at poker, but I have the disadvantage of playing with my best friend, who knows me just a _little _too well.

I glance at my hand, then say confidently, "I'll raise," and throw in the corresponding chips. When in doubt, bluff.

Joseph raises an eyebrow at me, then grins smugly. "I had a feeling you would," she tells me sweetly.

Make that _way _too well. I resist the urge to flip her off, or stick my tongue out at her, and settle for just sending her a piercing glare. This just makes her smirk wider.

Alright, so she knows I'm bluffing, so what. She _has _known me since the second grade, after all. Maybe no one else knows…

Shit, Sasori's giving me almost the exact same look. Only it's a lot creepier coming from him. "Predictable," he purrs, and I switch my glare to him. "I'll raise as well."

"Ooh, playing hardball, are we?" Joseph asks jokingly.

_God dammit, Joseph_. I grin back at him, as if I'm holding a royal flush rather than a ten, a five, a Jack, a Queen, and a two.

He gives me an unimpressed look.

Deidara's turn. He's the only one with a poker face worse than mine. He scowls at his hand, gulps obviously, and only _then _does he grin and say loudly that he'll raise and we're all about to lose hideously.

We all just look at him skeptically.

"So predictable it's sad," Sasori comments.

I snort with laughter at Deidara's annoyed expression.

"Oh, be quiet, you're not much better," Kakuzu tells me. "I'll stay."

Alright, so my hand sucks. That doesn't _necessarily _mean I'll lose. Maybe they're all just bluffing, too, and their hands _really _suck, and I'll stand some kind of a chance…

"Full house," Joseph grins.

"Fuck!" I throw my cards on the table, digging in my pocket for the money I owe Joseph. "Alright, I'm out."

Joseph quickly checks the time on the digital alarm clock, then turns and grins at Sasori. "You owe me five bucks."

He cocks an eyebrow. "I believe the bet was that she would quit _within_ five minutes. As you can see, it's been five minutes and thirty-seven seconds. Therefore, you owe _me _five dollars."

I glare at both of them. I do not appreciate being bet upon.

"You can't get away with anything with this guy," Joseph mutters angrily as she forwards the money I gave her to Sasori.

Deidara snickers. "I know, right, un."

"You would all be well-advised to stop trying," Sasori tells us arrogantly, pocketing her –_my_- cash.

I make a face. "You guys suck."

"Don't get mad at us just because you keep losing," Joseph teases.

I flip her off. "I keep getting shitty hands, man."

"I've noticed," Deidara chuckles. He gives me a particularly sleazy grin, before adding, "It's too bad we're not playing strip poker, huh Mari, hm?"

I dart out my hand and poke him in the eye, hard.

"Little bitch, un!" Deidara snaps, holding his now-closed-shut right eye and swinging an arm out blindly to smack me. I scoot back slightly to avoid him, ignoring Joseph's hysterical laughter. He's unable to even touch me, being disoriented from getting his eye practically gouged out.

"You had to know you had that coming," Sasori says unsympathetically, eyes on the deck he's shuffling.

"Shut up, Danna!"

"What'd I miss?" Hidan asks, walking into the room and plopping down in between Joseph and Kakuzu.

"Deidara pissed Mari off, so she jabbed him in the eye."

Hidan gives a sharp bark of laughter, before taking a closer look at Deidara. "Holy shit, Blondie, are those _tears?" _

"Hell no!" he snaps, as me, Joseph, and Hidan start laughing loudly at his expense. Even Kakuzu gives a dry chuckle. "She got me in the eye, un!"

"So you cried," Hidan replies, smirking.

"My body was reacting, un!"

"Yeah, to the need to cry," Joseph teases.

"Shut up! I'm not fucking crying, un!" Deidara snaps, getting more and more aggravated and flustered.

"Kind of a hard argument to make with _tears _running down your face," I spit, more than happy watch him suffer.

"They aren't tears, un!"

"It's a natural bodily function for one's eye to water after being hit," Sasori says monotonously, cutting across us as he organizes multi-colored chips. He looks up at Deidara, then smirks slightly. "Although it is still funny."

Me, Hidan and Joseph crack up, while Deidara scowls. "I like this guy," Joseph comments.

"Danna, you're no help at all, un," Deidara complains, rubbing his sore eye.

"I'm astounded that you're still surprised at that."

"Are we going to finish the game or not?" Kakuzu asks irritably.

"Oh, quit being such an asshat, Kakuzu," Hidan says, making his partner glare at him in irritation. "I'll bet you already conned everybody out of their money, anyways."

"Everyone but Sasori," Joseph replies irritably. She gives Sasori a contemplative look. "You know, maybe I should've gone after you, instead of Hidan."

Sasori raises an eyebrow.

"Oh _shit, _un!"

"What the fuck!" Hidan sputters angrily, after the shock wears off.

Joseph shrugs at him. "Hey, it's not a set deal yet, Hidan-kun. You're gonna have to get used to competition."

I shake my head. I know what she's doing...and poor Hidan doesn't stand a chance.

Hidan's face seems to actually be getting redder as he glares from Joseph to Sasori. "You're not actually thinking about dating that little ginger shit!"

Sasori rolls his eyes, putting the cards in their box. Deidara, meanwhile, is biting on his hand to keep his laughter under control.

Joseph shrugs innocently. "Well, you never know, do you?"

He glares at her, and she gives him a look that someone who doesn't know her like I do would call "innocent". For once, he doesn't say anything.

After a few seconds, she sighs and stands up. "Well, this is getting boring. Good game, Kakuzu."

Kakuzu nods at her, smirking slightly.

She leaves through the front door.

We all turn to look at Hidan.

"What are you fuckers looking at?" he snaps.

I feel bad for him, but I don't tell Hidan what Joseph's doing. I (unlike _her_, at times) know where my loyalties lie. I look back up to watch as Hidan looks angrily toward the door where Joseph left from, starting to twitch with unease and anger.

"5, 4, 3, 2…" Deidara mutters under his breath, still grinning.

Hidan snaps, right on cue, and storms out toward Joseph. He slams the door.

Deidara cracks up. "Joseph's quite the manipulator, isn't she, hm?"

I sigh, slowly shaking my head again and facing the floor. "Oh, Hidan…"

"It's because he's a total moron," Kakuzu says cynically.

Deidara grins, looking toward Sasori. "It's really too bad she didn't 'go for' you, Danna, un," he teases.

Sasori rolls his eyes. "Be quiet, brat."

I groan. "Oh, God, no," I reply. "They're both too diabolical. It'd spell doom for us all, man."

"Because Hidan's _not _diabolical, hm?"

"Not the way Ginger here is," I reply, motioning toward Sasori with my head.

"I'm flattered," Sasori replies drily, his chin on his fist.

Deidara snickers. "Is someone having an 'I'm-surrounded-by-idiots' moment, hm?"

"_How_ could you tell?" Sasori asks, a hint of a smile on his lips.

I laugh. Sasori actually has a sense of humor, apparently. I decide he's not really that bad a guy, when he's not kidnapping you, or drugging you, or messing with your head, or…Wait, I take it back, he's an asshole.

"Has Joseph ever done something like that to you?" Sasori asks, looking at me.

I stop laughing and make a face. "No comment," I mutter.

Sasori gives a dark chuckle. "Oh, I see…"

Deidara grins. "Come on, let's hear some stories, un!"

"Not on your life, man." There's no way in hell I'd tell them about the times Joseph pulled one over on me. I'll take _that _with me to my grave.

* * *

><p><strong>Itachi<strong>

"Hey, Weasel Dick!" Mari called Sunday afternoon, knocking on the door to his room.

Choosing to ignore the unsatisfactory nickname, he answered, "What is it?"

The door opened to reveal Mari, looking somewhat annoyed and resentful. "You're my, uh…teacher, right?" she asked grudgingly, walking into his room with crossed arms.

"Indeed."

"So, you're supposed to, like…teach me stuff?"

Itachi nodded. "As the name 'teacher' implies, yes."

She glared at him for a few seconds, and he stared back impassively. He knew what she was getting at, but if she wanted his help she was going to have to ask properly.

"So _teach _me something, man!" she finally snapped, scowling.

Itachi raised an eyebrow. "What did you have in mind?"

Mari's eyes lit up, although she didn't allow her scowl to slip. "Some kind of fighting technique. I don't care what, as long as it'll make me stronger."

Despite himself, Itachi couldn't help but be reminded of another black-haired kid who'd used to ask Itachi to teach him techniques.

Itachi sighed, as if giving in, and motioned for Mari to come closer.

She took three steps forward-

And Itachi reached out and jabbed her in the middle of the forehead with two fingers. "Sorry, Mari. Maybe another time."

Mari backpedaled quickly, rubbing her forehead and giving the Uchiha a dirty look. "A simple 'no' would've done just fine," she muttered as she left.

Itachi shook his head as she shut the door. Well, in any case, she wanted to become stronger…that was good. He was already going to begin teaching her the basics of ju jitsu in a few days, if she would've just been a little patient. He was surprised she'd been willing to ask him for help, since although some of the outright resentment had receded since he'd become her sensei of sorts, she still distrusted him, and besides, was very proud. He supposed seeing the kind of opponents she would have to face as an Akatsuki had driven her to ask…

**Mari**

Well, _that _sucked. Seriously, does he even know how hard it was for me to ask him to teach me something? I don't like asking for help, especially not from Itachi. And then he had to go and make it worse, treating me like a joke. Jabbing me in my head like I'm some kind of little kid…well, I am a year or two younger than him, as with the rest of the Akatsuki, but that doesn't give him the right to treat me like his annoying kid sister, or something.

I swallow my annoyance as I pour myself a bowl of potato chips. It's something I'm going to have to deal with, no matter how much I might dislike it.

I walk back into the living room with my snack, still a little miffed.

"Dude, we should all get really _wasted _tonight," Joseph is saying to Hidan, who (I guess) she's made up with, judging by how they're sitting right next to each other on the couch and just chatting away casually.

"Fuck fucking yeah!" Hidan crows.

I crinkle my eyebrows at that. "'Fuck fucking yeah'?" I question as I sit next to Joseph, munching on my chips.

"Bitch, don't doubt me," Hidan tells me.

I roll my eyes. "Everyone has their doubts about you, man."

He flips me off, and I return it happily.

"But what do you say?" Joseph asks, looking at me in excitement. "Wanna get drunk?"

"Don't you have work tomorrow?"

"Yeah, and you have school," she responds, shrugging. "So? We're young, let's live it up!"

"I'm with the crazy bitch, un," Deidara speaks up.

"Yeah, me too," Kisame agrees, giving us his somewhat unnerving, sharkish grin. "Sounds like fun!"

"Sounds like a great fucking idea to me!" Hidan shouts. "Alright, fuckers, cough up the cash, I don't have enough for liquor for everyone…"

While they start to argue over who's buying what, I look at Joseph and sigh. "Dude, next week's spring break, you couldn't wait until then?"

"No time like the present," she tells me happily. "Aw, come on, don't tell me you're gonna back out _again?" _

"Isn't this peer pressure of some kind?" I mutter, looking away and chomping on Lays.

"Damn right it is. Come on, Mari, since when are you against drinking?"

"Since we started living with ten guys," I mutter under my breath, eyeing them suspiciously.

"Well, it's really only nine, unless you're counting Kai."

I give her a look.

"Oh, don't get your panties in a wad," she tells me, rolling her eyes. "They're not going to become rapists just because they're buzzed. Besides, we both know you fight like a badass motherfucker when you're drunk."

I smile at the compliment. "So do you, man."

"Thanks. So you'll drink with us?"

Ah, what the hell. I grin. "Hell yeah! Let's do it!"

She holds up her palm for a high-five, which I give her with enthusiasm. "There's the Mari I know!"

"Say what?" Hidan asks, getting distracted.

"Mari's gonna drink with us," Joseph tells him happily.

Hidan shrugs. "I don't really give a fuck, but you have to pay for your own shit."

I grimace, looking through my pockets. "Uh, I have like ten bucks in my room, that'll buy some cheap liquor, won't it?"

Joseph nudges me. "Just get Blondie to pay for yours," she tells me, wiggling her eyebrows at me. "That's what I'm doing."

I frown in confusion. "Deidara's paying for yours?"

She laughs. "No! Hidan is."

"Since when?" Hidan demands scornfully.

She darts her eyes toward him, smiling slyly. "You know what it means when a boy buys a drink for a girl, right?" she asks, nudging him with her hip.

Hidan's eyes widen, and the corners of his lips twitch upwards, before his eyes narrow and he scowls. "It means the bitch rips the guy the fuck off," he mutters, but he doesn't ask for any money from her after that.

I shake my head as Hidan exits our conversation, going back to getting money out of the rest of the boys.

"What?" Joseph asks.

"I don't know how long I'm going to be able to handle that sickening display," I mutter, head still in motion. "Are you guys even going out yet?"

She grins at me and holds up the "V for Victory" peace sign in answer.

"This is all gonna blow up in your face one of these days, man," I warn her. "Hidan's gonna figure out what's going on eventually, and he's not gonna be happy."

She shakes her head. "I deal with guys like Hidan all the time. It's no problem for me."

I roll my eyes. "Whatever, man." I stand up, holding my bowl in my hands, stretching slightly. "And, no, I'm not asking Blonde Prick to pay for mine, so don't ask."

She gives me a contemplative look. "You are really, really avoiding this, aren't you?"

"Shut up!" I snap at her, leaving to climb the ladder into my room to get my money.

When I get back, Hidan, Joseph and Deidara are already headed out the door. "You coming, hm?" Deidara asks.

"Yep. Shotgun."

Joseph laughs. "I don't think so!"

"Hey, I called it, man!"

We race to get shotgun; unfortunately, we don't know which car we're taking, and so end up sprinting toward the entirely wrong vehicle. We don't even notice until we get to the green car and see the doors are locked. I look up and see Hidan climbing into the driver's seat of his black Hummer and Deidara into the passenger's, grinning at us.

We look at each other, then sheepishly walk to the car and get in the back seat.

"You guys are retarded, un," Deidara tells me, laughing.

"Shut up," Joseph tells him laughingly, saving me the trouble.

"Yeah, when you're going for shotgun you don't stop to ask questions, man," I chime in.

Hidan rolls out the driveway and up the street as we bicker and laugh.

"Hey, are you gonna pay up or what?" he asks, looking at me in the rearview mirror.

"Yeah, yeah, I got the money, calm your tits…" I mutter, digging it out of my pocket.

I see Joseph in my peripheral vision, tapping Deidara. I look up in confusion to see him turn around and look at her in irritation. They then start to have a whispered conversation I can't make out with several glances thrown my way.

"What the fuck are you guys talking about?"

They ignore me as their conversation gets more and more heated, ending with Deidara rolling his eyes, Joseph smacking him in the head, and Deidara going, "Alright, alright, un!"

He looks at me, narrowing his eyes slightly.

I toss my hands out. "What are you glaring at _me _for? I didn't do anything, man!"

"I'll pay for Mari's, un," Deidara mutters, digging in his pocket for his wallet.

My mouth drops open. "Hey, when the hell did this happen?"

Joseph smacks me on the arm.

"What?" I ask her irritably.

"Quit being a bitch!" she hisses at me.

"_You're_ paying for _her_ drink?" Hidan asks Deidara, laughing at him. "Bitch has you whipped, Blondie!"

Deidara scowls at him. "Hey, last I checked _you're _paying for Joseph's! I wouldn't talk, un!"

"Hey, fuck you, Blondie!" Hidan snaps, glaring at him, and I notice that the car's stating to swerve, as his eyes are nowhere near the road. "The difference is, _I'm _actually gonna get some fucking action tonight, and _your_ bitchass doesn't have a chance in hell!"

"Uh…Hidan?" I ask uncertainly, in slight alarm.

"Well, not with _that _attitude you're not," Joseph tells him teasingly, leaning forward in the seat. Shit, neither of us are wearing seatbelts…

"Hidan!" I say, grabbing his shoulder and shaking it, but he's too preoccupied arguing with Deidara.

"Hey, you don't know that, un!" Deidara replies, sounding angry and slightly embarrassed.

Hidan laughs skeptically. "Oh, yes I fucking do!"

"HIDAN!" I screech. "EYES ON THE ROAD, DIPSHIT!"

"Huh?" He looks back at the road in time to see we're about to crash head-on into a car. "Shit!"

For a horrible instant I think he's going to hit the brakes and send me and Joseph through the windshield, but instead be gives the wheel a sharp jerk to the right, saving us at the last second. Me and Joseph go sprawling into the right, all over each other, as people honk and scream things at Hidan. You know, when it was entirely his fault and he'd just almost _died _(or, well, _we _almost did, at least), you'd think Hidan would just let a couple people call him a dick, but _no, _he had to scream right back.

We all sit there, stunned into silence, the only sound being Hidan's instinctive cussing at other drivers.

"We…almost…died," Joseph says slowly, eyes wide.

"I just saved yall's mothahfuckin LIVES," I say, adrenaline kicking in to make me super-hyper and angry. "Hidan, what the fuck is the matter with you?!"

"People were pissing me off!" he shouts back at me.

"You could've killed us all, un!" Deidara snaps.

"_I _wouldn't have died," Hidan reminds him.

"Well, _we _would've!"

"Hidan, you're never allowed to drive again!"

"Jeez, it was an accident, would you fuckers calm the fuck down already?!" Hidan snaps at us, looking over his shoulder.

"_Keep your eyes on the road_!" I snap, thumping him in the back of the head.

"Fuck you, bitch!"

"Up yours, asshole!"

It's been a while since me and Hidan had a real, all-out, full-fledged cussing battle, and we're about to get into our stride when Joseph cuts us off. "Oh, calm down you guys, can we not just be glad that we _didn't _die?"

I take a deep breath, telling myself to calm down. "Yeah…looking back, it actually was pretty awesome…"

Deidara starts laughing. "Hell yeah! Nothing makes you appreciate life like a near-death experience, un!"

"So says the kamikaze of the future," I retort.

"Aw, Joseph's right, don't be a bitch," Deidara tells me, turning to face me. "Can't you feel that buzzing in your veins, the excitement in the back of your skull, hm?!"

Suddenly Hidan bursts out laughing hysterically. We all stop talking to look at him. "You know what the funny thing is?" he asks, in between snorts of laughter.

"What, hm?"

"We're not even fucking drunk yet."

* * *

><p><strong>Hidan, Deidara, Mari, and Joseph, in a car, going to go buy liquor…Sounds safe! <strong>

**Like I said, I've been in a bad mood lately, so please review. Reviews make me happy and less likely to get myself worked up into being pissed off at nothing and end up putting my fist through a wall. So review, or I'll probably end up doing the above and getting grounded, and I think we all know what that would mean...**

**Anyways, thanks for reading!**

**-amy out**


	34. He's Gaining Leverage

**Sorry for the wait you guys…just started high school, so I've been a little busy.**

**The results of the Joseph-pairing poll are as follows: Hidan won by a landslide, 23 people voted for him, with Sasori coming up next with 8 people. 4 people voted for Itachi, 3 for Zetsu, 2 for Kisame, and 1 for each of the others. Thanks for everyone who participated!**

**Lyrics from Whiskey Lullaby by Brad Paisely, Kiss Me Kill Me by Mest, and Sweet Dreams by Madilyn Manson.**

* * *

><p>We pull up to the liquor store and send Deidara to go buy it, since he happens to have a fake I.D. on him at the moment, and he's not retarded like Hidan is. He comes back laden with two plastic bags filled with bottles of liquor and tequila, plus a six-pack of beer.<p>

Something weird happens as we drive home from the liquor store, even while Joseph and Deidara and Hidan are all laughing and screwing around like normal. My eyes keep drifting to the alcohol bottles and beer cans on the floor of the Hummer. Isn't alcohol the main reason my family's so fucked? Didn't I used to swear a million times a day that I would never let myself become a drunkard like my parents? And yet here I am, going along with this, just because everyone around me is. I'm not a follower; it's not like me to go along with the crowd. So why am I doing this? What about Kai? I don't want him to see me drunk. Won't it be just like the times Dad did this?

_Wait, wait, since when am I responsible? _I think irritably. _It's not like that. I'm just being overdramatic._

"Joseph," I say, turning to her abruptly. "What are we gonna do about Kai, man?"

"What do you mean?"

"I don't want him around us when we're drunk."

"Aww," Deidara mocks. "Aren't you just a model big sister, hm?"

"Fuck off, man!"

"Mari, he'll be fine," Joseph tells me.

"I don't even like him around these fuckers when they're sober, man."

"Hey!" Hidan and Deidara protest.

"Oh, don't try and challenge that," I snap. "You guys are horrible influences, man."

"…Yeah, good call, un."

Joseph sighs and rolls her eyes. "Can't you just send him to his room?"

"Three hours early?"

"We'll wait to drink until he goes to sleep," Joseph decides.

"Fuck that!" Hidan shouts angrily. "The little shit can just fucking deal with it."

"Hey," I snap. "It's _my _house and _my _little brother. If I say we're not drinking until he goes to bed, that's what's gonna fucking happen!"

"Oh yeah?" Hidan mocks, sneering at me through the rearview mirror.

"Yeah." I grab the plastic bag of liquor, snatching it out of his reach and pulling it toward me.

"What the fuck, Mari!" Hidan protests.

"You can wait an hour and a half to get wasted, man."

"Fuck you, bitch!" Hidan shouts, and I can tell he's getting pissed.

Then Deidara, who's been relatively quiet this entire time, speaks up. "Don't be an asshole, Hidan, the kid's nine. Besides, if we start drinking now we'll be out of liquor by ten, un."

What the hell? I look at Deidara with equal parts surprise and suspicion. He glances at me and shrugs casually, but I can see the smug, laughing look in his eye. He's up to something. I frown in anger, but what could I possibly say to counter him? He's being _nice. _I don't know how to handle _nice. _Especially not from him –and he knows it, which makes it even more infuriating. That bastard…

This all happens within about three seconds, so Hidan doesn't even notice. "You guys are a bunch of pussies," he mutters, but I guess the option of running out of liquor by ten struck home, and he lets it drop as we turn onto my street.

* * *

><p>"Cheers!" Joseph says two hours later, as we clink together bottles of Mad Dog (mine red, hers blue) and bring the bottles to our lips to chug. Although it looks like Kool-Aid, trust me, it doesn't taste like it; I scrunch my nose against the watered-down Germ-X that burns my throat and tongue. I give first, not as used to drinking as Joseph is, and bring the bottle down, away from my head, forcing down a grimace. Me and Joseph are sprawled out on the floor in front of the couch, Hidan sitting behind Joseph and Kisame sitting next to him. Itachi sits on the end of the couch. Sasori sits on the armchair and Deidara on the floor next to me and Joseph, leaning against the armchair. Kakuzu's in the kitchen, having irritably grabbed his bottle of whiskey and left. Standoffish, much? Tobi, thankfully, is out on a mission with Zetsu.<p>

Joseph stops drinking a full five seconds later, grinning at me and smacking her lips. "Ha, I win."

"Shut up, man."

"She did, though, un," Deidara says, taking a drink of his bottle of tequila.

"You shut up, too," I snap. "I don't remember asking for your opinion, Blonde Prick."

"Well, someone's all pissy today," he smirks, leaning toward me despite my go-away vibes. "What's wrong, hm?"

"Like hell I'm gonna tell you."

"You know, if you bottle up all your emotions you'll just end up exploding at some point, un," he teases.

"You just want to say the word 'explode'."

"So, hm?"

I sigh and roll my eyes. "So leave me alone, man."

He shakes his head at me. "You're impossible, un."

"Yep. It's one of my better qualities."

"Oh, lighten the fuck up already," Joseph tells me. "Seriously, I can't believe _I'm _telling _you _that. Isn't it supposed to be the other way around?"

I give a small snort of laughter. That's a good point… "It's just because the blonde fucker won't leave me alone," I tell her.

"Quit your bitching," Hidan tells me. "We're drinking, no one wants to fucking hear it."

I give him a dirty look, but I guess he's right. I am in a bad mood, but since there's no reason to be, I might as well have fun. "Gladly." I take another chug. "So what do you guys want to do?"

"I don't know…Any ideas, Itachi?" Kisame asks his partner, laughing.

Deidara snorts derisively. "Yeah, 'cause we all know what a _party animal_ Uchiha is, un."

I force down a grin.

Itachi doesn't answer, ignoring them. Well, that's to be expected, I guess.

"We could play Truth or Dare," Joseph suggests halfheartedly.

"Hell. No," I say immediately. "The last time I played that with you, you made me light my foot on fire!"

Deidara laughs. "No way! You actually did it, hm?"

I shrug. "It was a dare, man."

"She used Germ-X," Joseph explains.

"Oh," Deidara says dismissively. "That's not that bad, un."

"It still hurt like hell, man!"

"What do you mean, you _used _Germ-X?" Hidan asks.

"Germ-X is flammable," I explain. "It's got alcohol in it."

"You didn't know that?" Joseph asks, laughing.

"Why would I fucking know that?"

"It's common knowledge," Sasori comments.

"Fuck off!"

"Hey, we all know Hidan's a dumbass anyways, un."

"Fuck you, Blondwad!"

I take another long drink of Mad Dog. I don't know why, but this all seems incredibly stupid, depressing, and not remotely fun. Fucking hormones.

"What about Spin the Bottle, then?" Joseph suggests.

I roll my eyes. "That's even gayer that Truth or Dare, man."

"Well I don't see you coming up with any ideas," she replies peevishly.

"We could play beer pong," Kisame suggests.

Joseph looks at me, and we both nod. "Sounds good to me," she answers.

"Yeah, I'm up for beer pong," I chime in. "Hidan?"

"Why the fuck not."

"Count me in, un."

"That makes five…Sasori?" Kisame asks.

Sasori observes us all with cool, aloof eyes.

"Come on, Danna," Deidara prods. "We need you to make the numbers match up, un."

"...I've nothing better to do," Sasori concedes, slinking out of the armchair.

Deidara grins and slaps him on the back, eliciting an annoyed look from the redhead. "Glad you can join us, un!"

We kick Kakuzu off of the kitchen table, much to his annoyance, and send Kisame to go find Ping-Pong balls. I grab some red Solo cups (yeah, I don't know why and no one does, but the red ones are the best) and arrange them in bowling-like patterns on opposite ends of the table, as Hidan trails behind me filling them half-full with random kinds of alcohol, since we didn't buy enough beer to use it exclusively. We quickly separate into two teams, with me, Sasori, and Kisame on one, and Joseph, Hidan, and Deidara on the other.

"Who's first?" Kisame asks, looking at the two of us.

"Not it," I say. My aim is terrible, and I'm hoping Kisame and Sasori can eliminate most of the cups before I'm up.

Sasori shrugs and takes the front, facing Hidan.

"You're going down, bitches!" Hidan declares, proceeding to throw the Ping-Pong ball _way _too hard onto the table and making it bounce way too high, over Sasori's shoulder. Sasori watches it fly off to his left, to be caught by a grinning Kisame.

"Are we now?" Sasori asks in his usual mocking, smooth voice.

Hidan scowls. "That's interference!"

Kisame laughs. "We all know that would never have gone in. Drink it, Hidan!"

Sasori points toward the closest cup toward us, which would be the hardest one to hit. Hidan glares at him, then grabs it and chugs, slamming the cup down.

Sasori's turn. His Ping-Pong ball goes straight in. Hidan scowls and downs it, and the next one, until Sasori finally misses.

"Dammit Sasori!" Joseph protests angrily.

And so it goes. Honestly I'm not that enthusiastic about the game in general...my mid keeps drifting.

_We watched him drink his pain away, _

_A little at a time,_

_But he never could get drunk enough_

_To get her off his mind..._

I shake my head, trying to rid myself of the all-too-fitting song and the corresponding sense of guilt. Both of my parents are alcoholics, I'm already at risk for addiction, I can't be drinking like this, I'll become like them...Goddammit, I'll do what I want! I'd rather fuck up a little than live scared, cautious and boring! And I'm already a gang; my life's already pretty fucked. Joseph's right, why not live it up?

_He put that bottle to his head and pulled the trigger,_

_And finally drank away her memory..._

God fucking dammit.

"You're up!" Kisame tells me, stepping out of the way.

Oh yeah. I walk up to see my opponent is Deidara. Peachy.

He grins at me.

I grin sarcastically back.

I go first, and predictably miss -my aim, as always, is shit. Deidara laughs and bounces the Ping-Pong ball across the table with a flourish. I watch irritably as it lands in a half-full cup of tequila. _Shit. _That stuff gets you fucked _up. _

Deidara grins at me as I grudgingly pick it up. "Bottoms up, Tough Girl, un!"

I give him the finger and start drinking, ignoring the burning feeling in my throat and obnoxious smell. I drain it and savor the unusual, but not entirely unwanted sensation as the burning and stinging morphs into a sort of warmth that flows from my throat and stomach.

"Not bad," Deidara tells me when I'm done. "Didn't take you as one for tequila, un."

I give him an odd look. "What do you mean, man?"

"You seem more like a whiskey type, un."

I roll my eyes. "It's all alcohol, man."

"Fair point, but it's _also_ still my turn, un."

"Fucker."

Throughout the game, I end up having to drink almost half of our team's alcohol because my aim sucks ass. It crosses my mind that I really ought to think about things I agree to do before I do them. When I'm downing my fourth cup, Joseph looks at me and laughs. "Your face is already looking red, Mari."

I give her a dirty look over the top of the cup, but don't say anything. I want to finish it all in one drink; I have a sweet tooth that makes drinking hard liquor a little nasty.

Deidara's grin grows slowly as he watches me drink. He probably wants to see me make an idiot of myself. Even though my mind is already starting to fog up, I make a mental note to watch what I do tonight. I'll be damned if I end up puking everywhere or doing some other kind of dumb shit like that.

Well, despite my shitty aim, we end up winning because Kisame's super tall and Sasori's a boss. "Way to take one, or two, or, well...five, for the team," Kisame teases as we high-five.

I laugh, feeling in a somewhat better mood now. "Shut up, man," I tell him, plopping down on the armchair and grabbing a bottle at random. I take a sip, noticing that Itachi (who's still drinking from his first bottle. Guy really paces himself) looking at me expressionlessly. I look back at him for a second, questioning. He blinks and turns away. I decide to ignore the exchange.

"Alright, Sasori, pay up," Deidara is saying to his partner, grinning. "I told you she'd miss three shots in a row, un!"

"Hey, screw you, man!"

"Not going to happen."

"What the hell! We had a bet, un!"

"_You _had a bet, brat. Saying 'ten dollars' to me does not mean I agree to it."

I roll my eyes, turning toward where Joseph and Hidan are sitting, Hidan in the middle of the couch, Joseph resting her legs over his lap. "Hey, Mari, put on some music, would you?"

"Sure." I stumble out of the armchair, hooking up my iPod to the stereo…Damn, I don't remember there being so many buttons you have to press. Or the hookup cord being so, uh, small…who the hell has been screwing with my iPod? Sons of bitches. I choose the scramble option, and music starts to ring through the air; I turn it up so you can feel the vibrations in the floor from across the room.

_One, two, three_

_A tragedy that's built on destiny_

I throw myself onto the couch, closing my eyes to listen to listen to the song, which sounds even more amazing somehow now that my mind's dizzy and addled from drinking.

_Left you with everything but blood_

_From the knife_

_That I cut your heart out with_

_Now relax, close your eyes_

_What comes next is the surprise…_

"This song is a _huge _turn-on," Joseph says suddenly, slurring slightly.

Apparently I'm not the only one who's starting to get drunk and stupid. I snap my eyes open to look toward her. "That's actually not something I wanna hear about, man."

Hidan is of course completely ignoring me, looking down at Joseph hungrily. He starts to rub her leg-

Oookay, I've seen enough. I pointedly look away. "Get a room, man…"

"Good idea," Joseph answers, surprising me. "C'mon, let's go, Hidan."

"Fuck yeah!" I hear him jumping to his feet.

I groan. "Wait, wait, not _our _room-"

It's too late; they're totally ignoring me, other than Hidan's middle finger. I put my face in my hand. _Gross…_

"They're horny as hell," Kisame comments, chuckling.

"Tell me about it, man." I roll my eyes and sigh, deciding that there's nothing I can do about it, anyways. "They'd better not wake Kai up."

"That poor kid…"

For about an hour we all sit around and talk about pointless things, nothing in particular, as I drink more and more, until I've moved past buzzed onto truly drunk, my joints feeling oiled, my brain fuzzy, the walls in my mind spaced out more than they usually are. I realize dimly at one point that they can all hold their liquor better than I can; I wonder if I should stop, but this is just too fun. This dim light, this odd feeling of happiness –not just adrenaline, not just laughing and moving around rather than sitting still with the awfulness inside me, but actual happiness- is too good to pass up. Besides, I can't exactly go to bed now, can I? Freaking perverts…

As time goes on, the rest of the Akatsuki thin out, going to their respective rooms, or out to party elsewhere, or into the kitchen or hallway. The only ones still in here are me and Deidara, who I dimly recognize has been sticking around intentionally, and I think that I should be angry about that, shouldn't I?

He looks at me from the doorway of the kitchen with crossed arms. For some reason the look –more like stare- catches my attention and holds it…this intense, vaguely curious look. I try to ignore it, turning away and gazing at an opposite wall, but it's like I can feel his eyes burning the back of my neck. This irritates me profoundly, so I turn back to him to stare him down. He grins at my defensive scowl, and before I know it it becomes a staring contest.

My eyes begin to burn.

I blink.

He smirks and unfolds his arms, leaning off the wall and starting toward me. I tense up and turn to face him when he sits beside me on the couch, pulling my legs up to sit cross-legged. "So, do you drink a lot, hm?" he asks.

I shake my head. "Not usually, man."

"Why tonight, then, hm?"

I shrug. "Felt like it."

"You know, I was hoping you might be a little more…_forthcoming_ when you're drunk, un," he says, somewhat irritably.

"And I was hoping you'd be less of an asshole," I answer, thinking vaguely that if I hadn't been drinking, I probably would be angry about that little opportunistic comment. Oh well. I take a long swig of my drink, thinking how it started not to sting your tongue the drunker you got –alcohol does the same thing to your emotions, too. Dulls them, makes them not hurt so bad…I wonder if that's why mom and dad always drank…

"Well, since neither of us are, I guess I'll just have to wing it, un."

Alright, that irritated me. "What is it you wanted to know, anyways?" I ask testily.

"Hmm…how about…" He looks up thoughtfully, then back at me. "How long have you known Joseph, hm?"

"Since we were in the second grade."

He raises his eyebrows. "How'd you become friends, hm?"

I start to chuckle at the memory. "Well, Joseph was always a little smartass to the teachers, and I always got in fights with the other kids, and you know…we just kind of, gravitated."

"Huh."

We fall silent for a second, and it crosses my mind that this is actually a comfortable silence, not awkward or hostile as things usually are. There's a warm feeling in my gut from the liquor, and my familiar, vague sense of unease starts to recede. Suddenly, I think of something. "So, what about you and Sasori, man?"

He looks genuinely confused. "What about us, hm?"

"How'd the two of you meet?"

He frowns at me. "Through the Akatsuki, of course. Why?"

I shrug. "You guys seem…close, somehow."

He makes a face. "We're used to working together, un," he replies shortly, looking angrily away like he does when he's embarrassed.

I laugh slightly. "Well, don't get your panties in a wad, man, I'm just asking."

He gives me a slightly irritated look, then smirks and turns so that he's fully facing me. "My turn, un."

"What, this is a game now?"

"No, it's a friendly conversation. I was starting to think you didn't know what that was, un."

I roll my eyes and take another drink. "Smartass."

"Yeah, yeah. Anyways, how often _do _you get drunk, hm?"

"Uh, I think I've only drank like, four times?" I frown in concentration, thinking back and counting. There was a friend mine and Joseph's thirteenth birthday, then the time we camped out in the canyons during summer, and then that party she threw…

"And you're how old, hm?"

"I turned fifteen a few weeks ago."

"Huh." He gives me a quizzical look, but with something else I can't pin down behind it.

I'm really getting tired of him looking at me like that. "What?"

"What what, hm?"

"You know what what."

"If I did, would I be asking, hm?"

"…Dei, you're sapping my strength."

He grins teasingly. "Did you just call me _Dei, _un?"

Shit. I shrug nonchalantly. "Yeah, I guess I did. Your full name is too long sometimes, and 'blonde prick' has too many consonants, so…" I can tell my voice is starting to slur.

He chuckles and shakes his head. "Now I _know_ you're drunk, un."

"So what if I am?" The alcohol is really starting to hit me, now…my thought process is slowing down, and I can't see in my mind's eye what's going on, how I must look from the outside, my mind is swimming.

He tilts his head slightly, his eyes running all over me, seeming to be taking in every detail, looking for the one that he could use to his advantage…drawing me in, but I know if I allow myself to be drawn into him, into that look, there will be no escape. He'll trap me, use me, and throw me out, like trash. The idea is making me feel vulnerable and defensive, resenting him all over again. I tense back up and lean away from him slightly, glaring at him and warning him not to press further.

_Some of them want to use you,_

_Some of them want to be used by you_

He doesn't listen to the warning. He smirks diabolically, leaning toward me. "Isn't it funny how we can tell each other's thoughts, without even speaking, hm?"

My stomach jolts as a cold chill goes down my spine, meeting in my stomach, fighting each other, and it makes me angry that he does this to me, that he makes me not understand what's going on in my own head, and then have the nerve to say _he _does. "Yeah. Hilarious," I snap. "Now get the fuck away from me. Respect the bubble, man."

He gives a dark laugh. "You still don't get it, do you, hm?"

_Some of them want to abuse you,_

_Some of them want to be abused _

His taunting tone gets under my skin, releasing a huge surge of anger. I don't have the presence of mind to stop myself, make myself handle this nonviolently, although I have a nagging feeling in the back of my mind that I should. I punch him in the chin, startling him as I lean forward onto my knees and punch him again, harder, in the cheekbone. "You always do this, man!" I screech, not stopping, continuing to hit him as hard as I can.

He strikes back, punching me in the mouth and then the stomach, sending me stumbling backwards off the couch, even though the alcohol has numbed the pain. "What the hell, un!"

I regain my balance shakily before jumping on him again, pummeling him with no hesitation, all I see is red in this odd, blurry, confusing state of mind the liquor has brought on. He hits back, but I more notice pain than feel it. "You shouldn't hit a fucking woman, man!" I shout, saying whatever comes to mind.

"You hit me first, un!"

"Deal with it," I slur, kicking him in the knee and grabbing his hair, planning to slam his face into my knee.

**Deidara **

_What the hell happened, un! _He thought frantically as he tried to fight Tough Girl off. He'd never seen her like this, it's like she couldn't even feel pain! No matter how hard he hit her, she just ran back at him! Besides that, she seemed faster and stronger somehow, even though she should be uncoordinated because she was drunk! She was out of control!

"What did I do, un!"

"Don't talk to me like you don't know, man!" she howled.

Kisame entered the living room from the kitchen, wanting to see what all the commotion was about. "What did you do, Deidara?" he asked in alarm, watching Mari fight like some kind of beast,

"Ask _her, _un!" he yelped, dodging a punch.

Kisame stepped forward to grab Mari by the arms. To his shock, she ducked, turning around sideways to kick him in the stomach. "Fuck off, Kisame! This is my fight and I'm gonna beat the hell out of that shithead!" she roared.

Kisame growled and grabbed Mari roughly around her waist, as he was much stronger than she was, no matter how angry she might be-

His mouth dropped as Mari somehow managed to wiggle her way out, lunging again toward Deidara. Deidara's eyes widened, readying himself to fight.

"Itachi!" Kisame called, stumbling away as Deidara fought the alcohol-enhanced girl. "We could use some help in here!"

"I'm fine, un!" Deidara shouted, kicking her in the hip. She stumbled, and he took advantage of the opportunity, jumping toward her and using his weight to hold her down. "Mari! Calm down, un!" he shouted, straining to keep her down.

She spat in his face.

Deidara's eye widened and he gritted his teeth in fury. She would pay for that.

Just then, Itachi approached the two of them quickly. "Let me see her."

"I don't think so, un!" Deidara snapped, glaring at Mari, who was still trying to escape and screaming like a banshee.

Itachi shoved him away from Mari, leaning in front of her, Sharingan spinning.

Mari's eyes widened, then slowly closed as she went limp, unconscious.

They were all quiet for a moment.

Deidara scowled from where he sat, to the side of Mari, after Itachi had thrown him off her. "You didn't need to step in, Uchiha, un!"

"Uh, yes he did," Kisame disagreed, sweatdropping. "What the hell happened to her? It's like she was a demon or something!"

Itachi stood up, looking down at Mari, then –to surprise of all- smirked slightly.

"What the hell's so funny, hm?" Deidara demanded.

"It seems Mari has a kekkei genkai after all," Itachi said in monotone. "Or, an inherent ninja ability, to be more precise."

"What? What's that supposed to mean?" Kisame asked, looking at his partner in confusion.

"Unless I am mistaken," and Itachi almost never was, "Mari is a master of the Drunken Fist."

Kisame blinked, then laughed. "That would explain it," he answered, snickering. "We have to give her a drink before our next mission, huh Itachi?"

"I think not. We need Mari's presence of mind; her going into a drunken rage would likely be detrimental to our aims."

Kisame rolled his eyes. "I wasn't being serious, Itachi, it was a joke."

Itachi didn't answer. "Kisame, carry her to her room."

Kisame chuckled. "I don't think that's a good idea. Hidan and Joseph are, uh, _busy." _

Deidara rolled his eyes. "Yeah, we didn't need to know that, un…"

Itachi nodded curtly, before picking Mari up and setting her on the couch to sleep. He turned his blank, unwavering gaze toward Deidara. "What did you do to provoke her?"

Deidara glared defensively, standing up to face him. "Quit talking like it's my fault! I was just…"

"Hitting on her," Kisame helped, grinning.

Deidara gave him a dirty look before going on: "Yeah, whatever –and all of a sudden she freaked out and started trying to kill me, un!"

Itachi narrowed his eyes, looking from Deidara to Mari. "You do realize that you're hurting her, don't you?"

Deidara was startled, giving Itachi a quizzical look.

"Hurting her? It looks to me like Deidara's the one who got hurt tonight," Kisame commented, laughing.

"Shut up, un!" Deidara snapped, embarrassed. Being surprised, and a little tipsy himself, had resulted in him being unable to handle the Drunken Fist version of Mari, as much as he hated to admit it.

"I think it's best we all went to sleep," Itachi said, turning to go to his bedroom. "It's almost one."

"Don't tell me what to do, Uchiha!"

"Suit yourself." Itachi left, Kisame following him, snickering and giving Deidara one last grin over his shoulder.

Deidara, however, stayed in the living room for a moment, watching Tough Girl sleep. He frowned; he'd thought he understood her, but it looked like she would be about as hard to figure out as she was to trap. Earlier they'd been chatting away like friends, and Mari was acting easygoing at first. It wasn't until he tried to make a move on her that she got defensive, and it wasn't until he started moving in that she got angry. But even more than angry…there was something else he saw in her eyes, just before she leaned away from him, trying to create distance between them. Fear. She was afraid, but of what?

Deidara placed a finger on her chin, tilting her head toward him and looking at her sleeping face. He noticed dimly that a kind of heat ran through him as he did so, thinking to himself, _What the hell is going on in that pretty little head of yours, hm? _

He wanted to find out. And once he did, he'd use it to find a way to seize her, and hold her…for as long as he wanted.

But that was for later. For right now, he was kind of pissed at her having spat in his face, not to mention making him look like an idiot in front of the Uchiha and his fish-boy sidekick. Actually, make that a _lot _pissed. Even though she'd been drunk, she was going to have to pay, and Deidara had a plan…

* * *

><p><strong>Mari<strong>

I opened my eyes groggily, struggling against the sleep dust in my eyes as I did so, taking in the morning light drifting in through an open window in front of me. That's weird. I don't have a window in front of my bed…Or did I fall asleep backwards, in my drunken state?

I blink and try to sit up, and it's not until then that I notice my head hurts like hell. Did I fall and hit it last night? Oh, wait, no, that's just a hangover. Maybe I'll just stay in bed…

Suddenly a patch of red I hadn't paid particular attention to moves, catching my eye. I focus my eyes on it, ignoring my headache enough to prop myself up on an elbow for a better view. "Sasori? What the hell are you doing in here, man?" I ask sleepily as I recognize the facial features of the apathetic, sociopathic redhead.

He darts his eyes toward me. "I could ask you the same question."

I sit up the rest of the way, looking at him in confusion. "What's that supposed to mean, man?"

"This _is _mine and Deidara's room, after all," Sasori responds, bored. I look around and see that yep, I fell asleep in the wrong room.

"Oh, shit…sorry, man. How drunk _was _I last night?" I ask, trying to piece together what happened in my mind, but all I can remember was beer pong, talking, and a vague sense of anger and movement…did I fight someone?

Sasori looks behind me and smirks slightly. "How drunk indeed."

Huh? I'm about to ask what he means, when I hear and feel somebody shifting around behind me. I freeze in horror…Oh, please, God, no…

I slowly force myself to turn around, to have my fears confirmed by the sight of a certain snoring blonde.

Hangover be damned – I screamed bloody murder.

**Sasori**

His eye twitched. He could appreciate that Mari had a right to be upset at waking up in the same bed as his partner –he knew _he _personally wouldn't have been thrilled- but surely it wasn't necessary for her to burst his eardrums at the realization. Besides which, it would only serve to wake Deidara up, and to show him that she was bothered by what he'd done, which is the opposite of what she should be trying to do. How idiotic _was _this girl? "Is that really necessary?" he asked her drily.

"YES!" she shouted, obviously freaking out. "What _happened _last night, man?!"

Sasori had an idea. He smirked. "I think that's a question you should be asking my idiotic partner, wouldn't you agree?"

Mari visibly recoiled. "Sasori…!"

He got up, turning to leave the room. "I'll leave the two of you to it."

He closed the door behind him, ignoring Mari's protests. His smirk grew. Whoever said he didn't look out for his partner?

**Mari**

"Sasori you get back here you fucker!" I screech, getting up onto my knees.

"Morning, Tough Girl, un."

I freeze up for a second time, unwilling to turn around.

"Do you wake up _Joseph_ up by screaming like a banshee first thing in the morning, hm?" he asks irritably, and I hear the springs squeaking as he shifts around.

I look back at him, leaning with his elbows behind him, facing me with a smirk on his face and a mischievous gleam in his eyes. I grit my teeth. "What the hell happened last night, man?!"

He cocks an eyebrow slightly. "Do you remember _anything _from last night, hm?"

I swallow. "Uh, we played beer pong…"

"Right, un."

"And…we won…"

"Uh-huh."

"And…and…" I frown in concentration. "Nope, I got nothin', man."

"You don't remember, un?" he asks, his grin widening.

I've got a bad feeling about this. "No…"

"Because I do," he continues in a smug, singsong voice.

I scowl. "Well, good for fucking you," I snap, getting out of the bed irritably.

Deidara chuckles. "You are really thick sometimes, you know that, hm?"

I stare at him in shock for a second as the pieces start to fall together in my mind. My eyes widen in horror. "Oh, good Lord, no…"

He snickers. "Aw, come on, it's not that bad. You seemed to enjoy it, un."

"Shut up!" My cheeks are burning and I jiggle the knob, bursting out of the room and quickly walking –well, running- into the kitchen, trying not to hyperventilate. _Oh shit, oh shit, fuck fuckedy fuck fuck… _

**Deidara**

He rolled his eyes. She was so temperamental. Couldn't even take a little morning-after teasing, even if nothing had happened…He'd love to see how she'd react if they actually had slept together…and she could remember it, of course.

He got up out of bed, stumbling out of the room after her. Hangovers were such a _bitch. _On his way he ran into Joseph, who was in the hallway walking toward their room. She gave him a quizzical look. "What's with her?"

Deidara snorted. "She thinks we had sex, un."

Joseph's eyes widened. "What! Did you?"

He rolled his eyes. "No, of course not! Our _clothes _are still on, for chrissake, un."

"Oh." Joseph relaxed, then let out a gasp of laughter. "How does she think _that _worked?"

"I don't know, un," he answered, snickering.

"But why was she in your room, then?"

Deidara gave a diabolical grin. "I put her there just to screw with her, un."

Joseph shook her head, stuck between laughing and disapproving. "You really are an evil, sadistic son of a bitch, Deidara."

"Thanks, Joseph." His eyes wandered to the trapdoor Joseph had dropped down out of, and then back to her with his version of a troll face. "But hey, it looks to me like someone _else _had some fun last night, hmm?"

Joseph rolled her eyes and grinned. "Not _that _much fun. Jashin knows Hidan tried, though."

"Oh really?" Deidara laughed.

Joseph looked around the corner toward the living room and kitchen. "Anyhoo, if I were you I'd go tell Mari what actually happened, before she has a mental breakdown."

"Are you kidding, hm?" he asked incredulously. "This is a golden opportunity, I'm gonna have fun with this, un!"

"Well, you _could_ do that…" Joseph replied slyly, looking away from him and smiling absently. "But if you do, that'll be the only kind of _fun_ you'll be having for a while."

Deidara scowled. "You really do remind me of Sasori sometimes, you know that?"

Joseph grinned. "Badass."

"Hmph." Deidara grunted, turning to find Tough Girl in the kitchen, making coffee in a fluster. Damn, she was weird. Given the supposed loss of her virginity and she reacts by making coffee?

**Mari**

First, I have to get over this damn hangover, then I'll deal with this fucked-up situation. It crosses my mind as I pour water into the coffee machine that I wouldn't be surprised if my life is a book and I'm only kept around for comic relief.

"Hey, Tough Girl."

"Go away!"

"You know, nothing happened, un."

I stop mid-pour, looking up from my task to the blonde bomber in confusion. "Huh?"

He sighs, leaning against a wall and crossing his arms. "I was just screwing with your head. All that happened was Hidan and Joseph were in your room, so you passed out in ours, un."

Relief floods me immediately and my muscles go limp. "Oh, thank you baby Jesus…"

"…You don't have to sound _that _happy, un."

I look up to glare at Deidara. "So why were we…you know, in the same bed, man?"

He grins at me, giving me the only answer I need.

I hunch my shoulders over as another pang goes through my stomach. "You perverted asshole!"

"Hey, I was drunk, un."

"Oh, don't give me that shit, you would've done the same thing if you weren't," I snap, becoming angry.

"Hmm, probably. The temptation was just too much to resist, un."

I throw an empty coffee mug at him, which he catches, smirking at me. "Now, now, calm down, un."

"Fuck you!"

"Hey, I just saved you a dollar seventy-five, un. You shouldn't throw your own breakables at people, un."

I narrow my eyes. He's mocking me, treating me like a joke, that piece of shit. I grab my coffee and stomp out of the kitchen, angry and embarrassed. I knew drinking was a bad idea, I never should've allowed myself to get drunk around this guy. Now he's gonna be all giving me crap about it…Thank God we didn't actually do anything. I wouldn't even remember; everything from last night is either a blackout or a dizzy blur. Damn Joseph. I'm gonna kick her ass for convincing me to do this, that bitch.

"Hey, where are you going, hm?"

"Away from you, man."

"Ooh, _ouch." _

I stop walking, fed up. He's bad enough on a normal day-to-day basis, much less when I'm hungover and embaressed at having slept in…his…fucking…_bed. _I turn around slowly, seeing him raise his one visible eyebrow at me.

"Do you want me to splash this hot coffee on you, man?" I ask threateningly, readying my cup.

He looks at the cup nervously before reinforcing his old bravado with a cocky smile. "Hey, easy, no need for that violence, un."

"Yeah there is, man," I reply irritably, turning away from him to sit on the couch. He predictably sits next to me, and my brain gives a jolt of recognition; this must be where me and him talked.

"Fine, be all pissy if you wanna, but I had fun," he goes on. "We should do it again sometime, un."

"No way I'm getting drunk around you guys again, man," I snap.

"_That's_ not what I mean, un."

It takes me a second to get it, although his shit-eating grin is giving me a pretty big clue. "Go fuck yourself, man!"

"You do know I'm never going to let you forget this, don't you, hm?"

I pour the scalding coffee on his shirt.

* * *

><p><strong>Yeah, this is crackish, but the idea was just too funny not to use...<strong>

**I don't know if this falls under the category of "fluff", but hey, I tried. **

**Review!**

**-amy out**


	35. Continental Shifts

**There's a bare minimum of humor in this chapter, it turned out a bit more serious than I'd planned. Hopefully it doesn't come across as boring but as laying the groundwork for some serious badass-ness down the road.**

**Lyrics from Gives You Hell by All-American Rejects and Addicted by Kelly Clarkson.**

* * *

><p>I avoid Deidara for the rest of the day, avoiding that flash of smugness I see every time we wind up in a room together for a few seconds. Apparently he told Joseph about it, too, considering how she asked me if I had fun last night. My face went red and I snapped at her to die in a hole; she raised her arms in mock surrender and mercifully changed the subject, although I could still see that, that <em>gleam <em>in her eyes_. I really can't believe I consider that girl my best friend_, I grumble to myself as I plug my earphones into my ears and select a song.

"_I wake up every evening_

_With a big smile on my face_

_And it never feels out of place."_

I guess since she's been trying to get me to hook up with someone since the seventh grade, she's excited that it's starting to look like that might happen in the near future. Well, not to disappoint, but she's wrong. The idea of being with him –with anyone really, but especially with him- that way sends a jolt of anxiety laced with quiet, creeping fear through me, making my shoulders hunch over and my hands morph into fists, my teeth clenching and stomach churning.

"_When you see my face _

_Hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you hell_

_When you walk my way,_

_Hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you hell!"_

I scowl. _Yeah, it does -happy? _

I shake my head. I'm reading way too much into this; it's just Deidara and Joseph being perverted idiots who consider this entire thing a joke. It'll die down soon…they'll lose interest and move on.

* * *

><p><strong>Joseph<strong>

"Hey, Joseph, un."

I turn around to see Deidara, hands in his pockets, strolling through the backyard toward where I've set up target practice; since the Akatsuki moved in, I no longer have to worry about running out of ammo. I twirl my gun around my finger twice, cocking a hip to face Deidara. "What's up, Dei?"

Deidara stopped walking, a few feet in front of me, and crossed his arms, giving me a look with a kind of somehow distant anger. "What's Mari's problem, hm?" he asks, grumpily and defensively, glaring at me like it's my fault I'm the only one who might be able to answer his questions.

I smirk. "Depends whatcha mean by that. In case you haven't noticed, Mari's not exactly short on problems."

"Tell me about it, un." He walks a little closer, frowning slightly and gazing at a point somewhere above and to the left of me. "She's the craziest girl I know, un."

I grin. "Crazier than me? C'mon, that's not nice."

He gives me a look of irritation, but presses on: "Last night, we were getting along just fine. She didn't seem mad or nothing like that, not even a little. But then I tried to make a move on her, and she freaked out, un."

"So what else is new?"

"That's not all. She seemed…scared, or something, un."

My smile slips and I frown, a small bead of sadness trickling into my chest. "Mari…has a lot of walls," I say quietly, looking at the ground. As I think about all the things Mari's been through in her life. Acting this way; reckless and impulsive, over-adventurous at times, but at other times bitchy and grouchy, pushing people away if they ever get close enough that she thinks they might actually start to matter to her, being super over-protective of me and Kai, and of course her deep-rooted refusal to go out with anyone, all of those are just her ways of dealing with these things. I've been through the same things, too, but I've found ways to move on. Mari's just too stubborn to do the same.

Suddenly Deidara laughs quietly. "Walls, huh? Well, it's a good thing I'm a demolition expert, then, un."

I raise an eyebrow at him. "Not those kinds of walls, stupid."

"Doesn't matter," he replies, an unholy light starting to adorn his features. "The principle's the same…Wooden, steel, stone, or brick, some walls are stronger than others, but in the end…" He grins diabolically. "In the end, when bombarded for long enough, they'll still come crashing down, un."

I give him a long look, then shake my head and look back at my target practice, raising my gun to shoot the target again. That just about sums up the blonde's view of life in a nutshell. "So that's what you're planning to do?" I ask tiredly. "I guess it never occurred to you to see if you could get her to lower her defenses willingly."

"Not really. Do you really think it work, anyways, hm?"

"Guess not." I keep firing, my brain whirring at the implications. He has no intentions of taking it easy on her, he's made that clear. He intends to pursue Mari relentlessly, until one of them eventually gives up –and if he does, I'm certain that eventually Mari will stop running. Probably as soon as she realizes that running away is what she's doing, she hates feeling like a coward. And then…I have a sneaking suspicion of what will happen then. I'm not stupid, I know Deidara isn't the kind of guy that's gonna be all caring and sweet and shit like that. He might even be the complete opposite. However this plays out, it'll end up being painful for Mari.

But even so…I decided weeks ago that that's a chance that has to be taken if Mari is ever going to get any better. Because really, she's already in pain, and has been for a long time. I see the scars on her arm. I see the look in her eyes whenever she ends up sitting still for very long. And I know that whenever she's alone, things get so much worse. I don't want Mari to be alone anymore; I want her to grow up, someday, to be healthy and functioning. And that includes being willing to have a boyfriend, a husband, a family someday. Even if she ends up deciding that's not what she wants to do with her life, she should at least know what it is. But she's too stubborn, and somewhere beneath that stubbornness, too afraid to do that willingly.

So maybe Deidara has the right idea. The only way for those walls to go away will be for them to be torn down from the outside. I've decided to operate under the hope that once that happens, even if it doesn't work out with Deidara himself, Mari will decide that this is something she might want someday, from someone. That, and being safe in the knowledge that no matter how painful things get, Mari will be able to handle it.

But still…I stop firing and turn to face Deidara, who's been watching me fire with crossed arms. "You want me to help you hook up with her, don't you?" I ask him, hands on my hips, although I think I already know the answer.

He grins. "Well, since you're offering…"

I roll my eyes. "Fine. Lord knows it's about time that girl got some action."

He laughs. "Glad we agree, un!"

Usually I would just joke around along with him, but I stay serious, looking toward the sky contemplatively. _I'm playing with fire here, _I think grimly. _This will either turn out really well, or really, really badly. _

"What's with you, hm?" Deidara asks, frowning.

I look back to him, frowning slightly. "Nothing. Just go back inside, wouldja?"

He raises an eyebrow, but doesn't object. "Both of you are really weird, un."

"Yeah. We get that a lot." _I'll have to keep an eye on him, _I decide, _or this will all blow up in our faces. No pun intended. _

* * *

><p><strong>Mari<strong>

That night I stare up at the ceiling uneasily, after Joseph's fallen asleep. I've been stalked by a thought I've refused to acknowledge up to now for hours. All day, really, but it was much easier to ignore in the daytime with distractions readily available. Now, in the dark silence of the night, the thought seems to be standing over me, arms crossed, demanding to be acknowledged. Just the way Deidara always has; doing whatever it takes not to be ignored.

_It's like you're a drug_

_It's like you're a demon I can't face down_

Shit. I'm not going to be able to sleep until I deal with this, am I? I glare at the ceiling in irritation. Well, I do need to get to sleep. I should just get this over with. I inwardly turn to confront the thought, ignoring warning bells in my mind that I'm about to enter into territory best left unexplored. I refuse to run away from a thought, my own thought, no matter how awkward it may be.

I can't remember anything from last night, not even what I've come to see as the most important detail. The most embarrassing, and the most confusing one. All I can remember is how freaked out I was as soon as I figured out what had happened. My mind keeps straying to how the bed shifted when he moved, the springs popped, the way it felt to have the weight of another person in the bed, the way he looked when he was asleep, how close we were; a little like how it was to share a bed with Joseph, but at the same time radically different. Like an animal with the same roots, but a completely different species…a canary and a pterodactyl. Only science would put them in the same tree. I start to remember details I'd forgotten before…the way my face and neck got hot and flushed, the whirring tornado of sparks in my stomach, and a hint of something terrifying underneath the anger and humiliation I'd felt.

I find myself starting to wonder what would have happened if I'd woken up and hadn't seen Sasori, had gone back to sleep like I'd planned? What would've happened if just as I was drifting off, I'd felt an arm circle around my waist? And scariest of all, what if I'd allowed it to stay there?

_It's like I'm stuck_

_It's like I'm running from you all the time_

I shake my head, pushing these thoughts away. It's ridiculous, all of it. For one thing, this is Blonde Prick we're talking about here. I'm not sure I want to think about what's going on in his head, but whatever it is, I know it's something I want to distance myself from. Because I know, instinctively, from a cold, deep place inside me, that this kind of thing only leads to pain.

_I hate him_, I decide, for the thousandth time, but for different reasons than before. I hate him for making me think about things like this, things that only serve to remind me how cruel and cold the world is, and how alone I'm going to have to stay to survive.

_It's like the only company I seek_

_Is misery all around…_

My mind calms down from a raging storm to a mellower stream of thought. I close my eyes and surrender to sleep.

* * *

><p>Another week of school goes by when I see Moegi a few times a day, am reminded of what she did, and try to decide what I'm going to do about her. Unfortunately, it doesn't make it any more clear to me about what I have to do about her, annoying me to no end. I know I can't allow her to get away with it, if for no other reason than that I told her she'd pay and I can't back down now. Unless I teach her a lesson, there's no reason for her not to do the same thing again, if not to me, than to some other girl. She'll keep doing the exact same thing if she thinks she'll get away with it, and fear of a threat made a month and a half ago isn't going to keep her in line. Something has to be done. But at the same time, something's holding me back. All I keep thinking about when I think of her, of the whole issue, is how the Akatsuki are expecting me to beat the hell out of her, for the sake of their reputation, not for the sake of mine. No matter what the reality is, I'm not able to separate Moegi from the Akatsuki in my mind.<p>

Meanwhile I hear from the other teams going out on their separate missions that Oto has started to get increasingly more daring and reckless, especially with the sudden boom in recruits. "Fuckers are really pushing the envelope now, huh?" Hidan asks irritably, late one night after his and Kakuzu's mission to go and shut down a group of Oto terrorizing a couple streets on the northern part of our turf. It was past midnight and on a school night, but there's an unspoken rule that when someone's out on a mission involving mortal danger (more or less all of them), no one goes to sleep until they've returned. It's little gestures like that, plus the collective sigh of relief masked by snide comments and insults when they finally do show up, that threaten to change my mind about being a member of the Akatsuki. "A few months ago, they wouldnta' looked at anyone funny on our streets."

People nod and agree. I just listen, since I haven't been a member long enough to know any better.

"And they all got away," Kakuzu adds irritably.

"No," Kisame responds in indignant disbelief.

Sasori shakes his head, arms crossed. "I can hardly believe it."

"You didn't kill _any _of them, hm?" Deidara asks incredulously.

"There were too fucking many of them!" Hidan complains loudly. "Three car loads full of snot-nosed little shits with guns! I think a couple were in fucking middle school!"

"_What?" _ I respond, frowning in outrage. "Oto's letting…"

"I was afraid of this," Itachi adds. I look at him and see a rare spark of anger in his dark and unrevealing eyes. "In their attempts to overcome us through sheer force of numbers, Orouchimaru seems to be allowing increasingly younger members to be put into combat."

Everyone in the room, almost the entire Akatsuki, including Leader and Konan, narrow their eyes or cross their arms or grit their teeth in anger.

"That is some bullshit!" I snap angrily, being as mad as the rest of them. "What the fuck kind of person puts a twelve-year-old kid…"

"Orouchimaru does," Itachi cuts me off, looking me in the eyes. "And I'm sorry to say, that's the least of the things he's been known to do to children."

My eyes widen. "What, I mean, what does he…"

"Torture. Experiments. Every other fucked-up thing in the book," Kisame spits out, obviously pissed. "Kids Oto kidnaps, never go back home."

I grip the coffee table until my knuckles start to whiten. "You mean…he…"

"He always was a fucked-up creepy-ass," Hidan spits angrily. "Just be glad he left before you joined, Mari…"

"Left?"

"Orouchimaru," Leader cuts across me, "was a member of ours…once upon a time."

"Are you shitting me? You let a guy like _that…."_

Leader hits me with one of his infamous scare-you-shitless glares, warning me that I'm about to go too far. I bite my lip and look away at the wall, a storm of anger behind my eyes. "The Akatsuki sometimes makes controversial decisions," he tells me coldly. "And I assure you, I didn't know of these things while Orouchimaru was under my orders."

I swallow, angry and disgusted. "This Orouchimaru guy, I mean…how bad is it? Outside the Akatsuki's turf?"

Their silence is the only answer I need. My mouth twists and I shake my head, closing my eyes. "That…is fucking inexcusable," I hiss.

"Then we all agree. Rest assured knowing the Akatsuki has no intentions of letting Oto get away with these things for much longer."

I open my eyes and look from Leader in all his powerful badass-ness (not trying to be a kissass here, but come on), to Konan with her dignified, righteous anger, to each individual member with their own individual brands of controlled (for the moment) rage, eerily mirroring my own sense of injustice. Even Kakuzu and Sasori seem quietly vengeful. I share in the moment, in their anger, thinking about all the implications, all the questions I already know the answers to, and how wrong all of it is. Orouchimaru having been a member of the Akatsuki, I guess he knows how to avoid the law well enough that they have no chance of truly pinning him down on it.

_There is a guy out there, _I think slowly later on as I get ready for bed, _out in Konoha somewhere, who likes to kidnap kids and…_I can't even finish the thought. It makes me want to jump in a car, drive right up to this Orouchimaru guy's front door and kick it down and beat the shit out of the guy myself. I don't care what you do to yourself or to some other adult, but you _do not _hurt a child, ever!

These kinds of things have always pissed me off, made something in me demand action. But until now, I've never been able to actually do anything about the fuckery going on in the world; I just tried my best to ignore it when it didn't affect me, and move on. But now…now…I think about the rest of the Akatsuki, the guys who fight just as much and just as hard as I do, and maybe even more than me at times. These guys who let nothing, not even morals, stand in their way when they want to change something. And they've decided to change this.

Now, with them on my side, with Itachi teaching me better ways of how to fight, with Kakuzu stealing and supplying me with guns, Sasori drugging people in bars to learn the location of Oto's various headquarters…With Hidan going apeshit on any enemy he sets eyes on and Kisame scaring them shitless, Deidara blowing shit up and Leader directing us all about toward a common goal, now I don't have to stand for this. Now I can fight to make it better.

I smile at the book I'm reading in bed, and just for this moment, I am grateful.

* * *

><p><strong>I find it a bit difficult to keep the balance between the borderline sociopaths that the Akatsuki are, and their underlying "greater good" philosophy. <strong>

**Be warned, as time goes on the story will get both gorier and more...well, it _is _a romance, after all. (Although rest assured, there is no way in HELL I am EVER going to post a lemon. EVER. So don't ask.) You know it didn't occur to me until recently that writing a romance story might actually involve making the characters get together at some point. I know a certain amount of you are getting pretty restless what with nearly forty chapters and almost no progress romance-wise. Well, sorry. You'll have to bide your time. :) **

**In Amy news, I'm grounded _again, _but only for a few days, so no need to worry. It'll just slow down the creative process a bit, is all. **

**-amy out**


	36. Getting the Last Word

**Geez, I'm sorry for the wait! I've been grounded (WHAT? Amy, GROUNDED? Nooooo, and high school started, and blahtee blah, you know the drill. Sorry. Hopefully this chapter makes up for it, huh?**

**For more on the antics of Mari, read Angels, Devils, and iPods. A new chapter's up. -_- READ IT.**

* * *

><p>Tsunade stares at me, arms crossed and leaning back in her chair, seeming halfway between anger and sweatdropping.<p>

I stare back, resting my chin on my fist and my elbow on her desk, bored. I think back to the other times I'd been in the principal's office; this would've been about the time that I was frantically thinking up excuses, like for instance: "I was just kicking randomly, I didn't mean for him to be there", "_That _gaping hole? I'm pretty sure it's been there for months", "It's all Joseph's fault", etc. Only, given recent events, being scolded by the principal doesn't seem that much of a devasting ordeal anymore. Go figure.

Finally Tsunade sighs. "Explain yourself."

I shrug nonchalantly. "I beat them up because they were messing with Hinata, man."

"And you don't think," Tsunade says slowly, pinching the bridge of her nose, "that Hinata might be capable of taking care of herself?"

I snort. "Yeah, right. She's like a Care Bear."

"You do know this is the _sixth _fight you've gotten into on school grounds this semester?"

I grin. "Not the last one, though," I answer cockily. I see her angry glare and try to do damage control. "Look man, I'm sorry, but what do you expect me to do? Just let her get bullied?"

"I expect you to find an alternative to violence like the fifteen-year-old you are."

I make a face, but decide against opening my mouth. Because let's be honest, out of the hundreds of smartassed things I could say here, none of them are going to help me get out of this office sooner.

After I don't answer for a few seconds, Tsunade clears her throat and goes on, "Well, something is going to ha-"

That's when the office door bursts open. I turn around to see a flustered-looking Kisame enterting Tsuande's office unnanounced. "Excuse me!" Tsunade protests indignantly.

We ignore her. "Mari! What are you doing in here!"

"Getting lectured, man," I answer, motioning toward Tsunade.

Kisame scowls. "Well, this is a really bad time for it. Leader called a meeting at home base, and we need to be there _right now."_

I gulp. "_Right _now?"

"Right. Now."

I jump out of my seat immediately.

"Just a minute! Where do you think you're going!" Tsuande snaps indignantly.

I turn back to her and make an apologetic face. "Sorry, Tsuande, but duty calls, man. Could you, maybe, finish chewing me out tomorrow or something?"

She looks angry enough that steam might be pouring out of her ears. "Absolutely not! Sit back down!"

"Sorry, can't."

"If you do not sit down _immediately," _Tsunade says slowly and dangerously, "I am going to reccomend you for Konoha's weekly anger management class."

I grimace. "For reals?"

She nods and points at the chair in front of her desk.

I pause for a second, undecided. Anger management sounds pretty shitty...

"Mari," Kisame interrupts urgently, "_Leader_ is the one who's going to need anger management if we don't leave NOW!"

"...Sorry, Tsunade." I follow Kisame out the door, closing it before Tsunade can say anything more.

Now, I'm not trying to dowplay Tsunade's scariness factor here -only a fool would do that- but compared to Leader, yeah, she looks like a Care Bear, too.

Anger management, though, huh? Lovely...

* * *

><p>Half an hour later, my eye twitches rythmically, along with the pulsing anger mark on my forehead, as I watch Tobi scurry around my living room in a Tobi-ish kind of panic. <em>Zetsu, if I ever get you to sit still long enough I swear I'm going to slaughter you for this.<em>

"Mari-chan! Help Tobi!" he cried desperately.

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because you're retarded, man!" I snap, irritation rising rapidly as I shift my weight to my left foot, tapping my right in anticipation. Why did _I _get stuck baby-siiting the fucktard? Waiting for Kisame and Itachi to return to pick me up so we can go help patrol over where we heard about Oto pulling some of their usual bullshit would be nerve-wracking enough even without this little idiot. I prefer it when Tobi is as scarce as Zetsu always is; the two of them usually seem to be unexplainably absent, even if they don't happen to have a mission, and then just pop up out of nowhere whenever something important is about to happen...

"That's so mean!" Tobi wails.

"You're in the Akatuski, fucking deal with it, man."

"Mari's ready this time, right?"

My eye twitches again. "What do you mean, 'this time'?"

"The last few times we went out on a mission, you forgot to bring a weapon and someone else had to lend you one!" he reminds me happily, putting his hands on his hips and laughing good-naturedly. "Do you like having people bail you out all the time, Mari?"

I glare at him for a second. "Tobi..."

He stares at me through his mask, his one visible eye wide and childish.

Without warning I swing my baseball bat toward Tobi, with speed and accuracy I realize I wouldn't have posessed a few weeks ago. He barely manages to dodge, crashing into a bookshelf face first.

"No _shit _I have a weapon," I snarl, poking him in the side sharply with the blunt end of my bat. "It's in plain sight, you dumb fuck!"

"Liking the enthusiasm, Mari, but would you mind not beating up our own boys?"

I turn to see a chuckling Kisame standing in the doorway, having opened the door while I was busy assaulting Tobi. I point at the retarded lollipop boy accusingly. "Never leave me alone with this guy again! He's irritating the hell outta me, man!"

"We know, we know, Kisame answers. "Don't worry, Zetsu's on his way."

"Oh." I nod, then suddenly snort at a mental picture of Zetsu arguing with himself over how to drive an Oreo-themed Ferarri.

"What?" Kisame asks me, confused.

"Nothing, man. Let's roll," I answer him, putting my baseball bat back in my left hand, held upside down with my thumb and forefinger near the top. As I follow Kisame out the door and toward Itachi's car, I check on my handgun in its holster on my hip for the tenth time in the last thirty minutes. A part of me not so badass as I would like hopes I won't have to use it tonight...although if I end up running into any Oto fucker that has ever laid hands on a kid, I won't hold back.

I slide into Itachi's car, resigning myself to having been banished to the backseat. I allow my foot to keep tapping on the floorboards of Itachi's car as he pulls out, driving toward our destination. The sun is setting so that it seems like the world is changing colors as we drive, from golden to silver and evantually to grey and black. "Where we going, man?"

"South side," Kisame answers grimly. "We heard from Kakuzu that it's getting pretty rough out there."

"Whats going on?"

"Oto sent a bunch of guys out there to try and take over a few streets," Kisame fills me in. "From what we hear, they're probably trying to expand their turf. Anyways, it's getting pretty out of hand. Watch out for the boys in blue, Mari."

I swallow. "Got it."

* * *

><p>The action starts the second my feet hit the ground from the car. Kisame jumps out too, but Itachi speeds off so quickly I don't even have time to shut the door completely, and before I even have time to see where we are Kisame is shouting my name and motioning for me to follow him and I am, down the street and toward an alley, around groups of people fighting, pockets of violence in an otherwise deserted street. With chaos and scattered sounds filling the air, of gunshots and screaming and sirens and fighting, all my mind registers are silent images as nervous butterflies morph into fuel-<p>

I see police cars and flashing blue lights, but they seem far away and seperate from the real conflict -Akatsuki versus Oto- one they can't touch-

It's impossible, among this fear and adrnaline and frenzied movement, to pick out faces, but I can see black and red battling several blues and whites at once. I understand now why gangs assign themselves colors-

I see a few people littering the ground, some groaning and moving slowly away from the fighting...some not. As I run I feel a _thud _as I accidentlily kick one such body. I push down disgust and don't look back, but when I happen to glance down I see blood splattering my boot and the bottom of my left jean pants-

No time for humanity, for compassion or guilt. I keep running, as I become randomly consious of gunshots, my brain picking that thought randomly out of the hundreds of details to bring to my attention. Gunshots equal death, gunshots equal _my _death or Deidara's or Itachi's or Kisame's or any of my team's, but Kai's safe, or at least he is for now, and I have to run, I have to run as quickly as I can no matter how much I hurt after Kisame so we can get where we're going and I can fight to make sure it stays that way. My mind is clear and racing and my pulse is quick and my blood is boiling and _I'm alive, _and I'm about to be fighting, and I can't wait because when I fight it's like my mind switches gears, from everyday life into combat mode and there's a beautiful lack of thinking in the void created by moving your body with all your strength to hurt those that want to hurt you and your friends-

Kisame skids suddenly, turning into an alley. He looks over his shoulder to make sure I'm following, to make sure that I'm okay. I've got a baseball bat in my hands and a gun on my hip; I'm _more _than okay.

"We're close!" he shouts, but who's that around the corner? Three people in blue and white. Kisame charges them without a second thought.

I blink, and see the three enemies, one girl and two guys, sprawl to the ground by the force of Kisame's arm -goddamn he's strong.

"Get their gun!" Kisame shouts at me as I skirt around them, still following him blindly. "Take care of them and catch up!"

I look back at the figures picking themselves up from the ground. The red-headed girl doesn't have a gun, she's going for a baseball bat instead, the black-haired one is still picking himself up, but the white-haired boy has a silver glint in his hand so I lunge-

He barely has time to look shocked before my bat hits his hand. The gun flies out, hits a dumpster, clatters to the ground, and I start toward it, when pain suddenly explodes across the middle of my back with a metallic _thud _and I fall to the ground, rolling, crushing my right hand with the bat in it. I grunt and roll onto my butt just in time for the red-haired girl to snarl and bring the bat down on my knee.

Red-hot pain instantly becomes red-hot rage and my bat swings up at her chin, the way Itachi taught me last week, and she steps back, holding her chin and cursing for just long enough for my hand to find the gun and it's loaded and I cock it and point it and my finger's on the trigger and-

_No. _

_No...not this time. _

I keep the gun trained on her forehead, though, as she drops the bat and raises her hands, glaring at me murderously. I stand slowly to my feet, feeling a dull ache where my gun dug into my hip when I rolled, and a sharper ache on the small of my back, and the sharpest in my left knee...that bitch...

I clear my throat. "You headed to the street? Not my problem. Oto's getting their ass kicked, you want a part of that, be my guest, man."

She blinks, genuinely surprised. "You...You're not gonna..."

"Kill you?" I chuckle darkly and humorlessly, my throat dry and aching. "Not tonight. Get your friends and get going." Maybe there's time for humanity after all.

She narrows her eyes in a suspicious glare, then leans down to get her bat and starts to back away, not taking her eyes off me and the gun the whole time. "You'l regret this, bitch," she tells me, before turning tail and running the other way.

"Whatever, whore."

I turn and run toward Kisame, satsified, until I see the horrified look on his face.

"What?" I ask, confused.

"You let her _go?" _

I scowl. "Yeah, so? She's just some random kid-"

"_No, _she's _not!" _Kisame hisses at me. "That was Tayuya! One of Oto's very best fighters! If any of them have half a chance of offing one of us, it's her or the guys she was with!"

Mingled dread and guilt rises up in me. "Well, how was I supposed to know, man!"

"We may never get another chance like that again!"

I've never seen Kisame angry at me before, and I don't like it, and that makes me defiant. "I just told you, I didn't know she was all special and shit, I wasn't about to kill someone defenseless!"

"She's an enemy of the Akatsuki," Kisame tells me, crossing his arms. "The Akatsuki's enemies die."

I narrow my eyes. "Don't we have somewhere to be, Kisame?"

He gives me one last dissaproving look before turning and continuing to run without another word. I follow in equal silence.

* * *

><p>Our location's close; down the alley and through another one, we slow down at Kisame's signal, choosing silence over speed. The houses are painted faded shades of white and grey and brown mostly, fences falling apart, rotting, rusted dumpsters open with flies buzzing around the top. Sirens still whir but the street seems far away; a dog barks in the distance.<p>

Kisame suddenly stops. "See that house?" he says in a hushed voice, pointing toward one on our right. I nod, but he goes on regardless: "A few of Oto's generals are holed up in there. We're supposed to meet Deidara and Sasori and get the Oto bastards the hell outta here."

"Where's Itachi?"

"He's with Leader and Konan, fighting Orouchimaru and Kabuto -if they've found him."

"What about-"

"Tobi, Hidan, Kakuzu, and Zetsu are fighting at Kimimarou's base."

"Who're we supposed to be fighting?"

"We don't know yet. Just stay on your toes." He puts a foot on top of the wooden fence and deftly jumps over it. I follow, climbing over, keeping my left hand on the back of the fence as I drop into their backyard. I wonder if Deidara and Sasori are there yet? Nah, if Deidara were fighting we'd know it by now. Despite his size Kisame doesn't make a sound as he creeps across the backyard and-

Suddenly he stiffens. "Duck!" He yanks on my wrist, hard, and I fall to my knees just before I hear gunshots, so loud and close that my ears ring. Panic shoots through me to the tips of my fingers and toes and I dro[ my bat, scramble to the left, toward the side of the house, looking for cover-

"Get your gun!" Kisame shouts at me, going for his own. "The window!"

I nod, but I don't want to stop moving, I want to be a moving target, but the gunshots have stopped so I trust Kisame and roll to a stop and grab my hangun out of my waistband and get on one knee, searching for my own target, and I see the same white-haired boy from earlier in the window and I pioint my gun at him but he dissapears through the right side. I shoot anyways, through the wall, at where I think he'll be, scarring his house with bullet holes-

"Drop your guns!" he shouts from behind the door.

I'm about to make some real clever comment, like "No", when the door opens and I see his figure in the doorway and I start to aim before I realize it's the wrong color, his hair is bright golden blonde instead of white, and...oh no.

He's holding Deidara hostage, gagged and spitting mad, his arms behind his back- why isn't he struggling? The Deidara I know would never let himself be taken alive.

My mouth drops open. _How..._

"Drop your guns," the white-haired one calls again, and I register his gun pointed at Deidara's head. So that's why...

I look over at Kisame. He gives me a pained look.

"Drop them or he _dies!" _

Deidara looks straight at me, shakes his head at me, glaring.

I throw my gun into the dirt, heart pounding, muscles tensed. Kisame's joins mine after a second's hesitation. The Oto guy laughs and I look up to glare at him. I could charge him right now, but I won't have time to pull the gun I took from the red-haired girl outof the back of my pants, he'll shoot me and Deidara will have an oppurtunity to escape and fight him off -even if his arms are tied I know he'll still have a fighting chance- but I'm not quite that selfless.

My mind races, trying to think of something, anything, because Deidara _cannot _die here, or Kisame, or me, because we _have to win. _

I have to save him. _Where the hell is Sasori?! _

"Let him go," Kisame growls.

The white-haired boy snickers unpleasantly. "So you can attack? I don't think so."

I look straight at Deidara, his eyes wide, looking straight at me with this intense look. Is he trying to tell me something? I think he is, but what?

Feeling terrified, and panicked, and desperate and crazy, I do the first thing that comes to mind - I bluff. "We'll attack anyways."

"No you won't."

"Why shouldn't we?" I counter, hoping maybe Kisame will think of something while I stall.

"One wrong move and I'll kill him."

"Kill him, and there's still two of us against one of you. Face it, man, you're fucked," I say.

He narrows his eyes and I begin realizing the truth of this. If I were in his shoes, I wouldn't dare kill my hostage, since he's the only one keeping me from being killed myself...Only why would he show himself in the first place? Why not just run? And how did he overpower Deidara all by himse-

Wait. He must have backup.

We have to attack _now, _while the odds are still in our favor.

But still, we all stand there, staring at each other, stalemate.

Then several things happen at once.

"Ukon!" a low girl's voice calls from the back of the house.

Ukon turns toward the source. "Ta-"

Deidara throws his head back into Ukon's, hitting him in the nose, making his grip falter, then barrels out of the way, onto the ground.

Immediately I start to draw my other gun, but he has his trained on Kisame, who's running at him.

We fire almost in the same instant, and I feel nothing but panic and fear.

Kisame keeps running.

The boy looks down at his thigh, shocked.

I follow his eyes and see a black hole, blood starting to seep through his pants.

He leans off of it, wincing, but I guess he's pumped up on adrenaline and doesn't fall, not yet, he looks at me and starts to point his gun and I almost pull the trigger again-

Kisame gets to him first.

"What the fuck!" the girl's voice shouts, sounding closer.

I ignore her and race to Deidara immediately, who's still on the ground, tied up. I rip his gag off.

"What the hell, man!" I hiss. "Where the hell is Sasori!"

"Do you mind untying me first, hm?!" Deidara snaps, face sweaty and flustered.

"Oh, yeah, right..." I shove him onto his stomach and begin trying to untie the twine.

"There's a knife in my front pocket, un."

"Ew, no."

"Tough Girl, _this_ _is not the time, un!" _

I laugh nervously. "Uh, sorry, man..." I get the knife as quickly as I can and saw the rope off his wrists.

He rolls onto his knees quickly, rubbing his wrists, looking at me in slight irritation.

"_Where's Sasori_?" I demand.

"You'll see. Just come on, there's more of them, we need you to fight- where's your bat, hm?"

My heart skips a beat. "How many more?"

"_Where's your bat, hm?!" _

"Over..." I turn around and race to retrieve it. I pick up my dropped gun on the way. I turn just in time to see the same red-haired girl from earlier -Tayuya- in the doorway, narrowing her eyes at me.

My eyes widen in shock as she ignores Deidara, running toward me with a baseball bat.

Before I have time to think I block the blow I know is aimed for my head. She snarls and kicks me in the knee, the same one as earlier. I grunt with apin, my knee gives slightly and she raises her bat again. Before she can bring it down I swing my own bat toward her gut, stopping her.

She backs away slightly, trying not to double over in pain.

I force my legs to stand firm and swing my bat toward her again, going for the head. She straightens up just in time to block it. This time _I _kick, twice, in the stomach, before she can get a chance. I see her eyes widen as she backs up, but doesn't fall.

I keep going after her, kicking and swinging my bat, her dodging or swinging her own bat at me, on the defensive. There's no time to think about how Deidara and Kisame are doing, or wonder where the _fucking hell _Sasori is, or even try to strategize. It's all I can do to hold her off while I try to gain an advantage.

Until she gets lucky. Or I get sloppy, either one. Whichever, it ends with me getting batted in the side of the head.

I see stars and stumble backward, onto my back, and I clumsily raise my bat which now seems to weigh a million tons to fend off hers, seeming to go sideways for my neck. She grins at me maliciously and I bring my other hand to the bat, pushing the bats toward her with both arms, with all my strength.

After a few seconds of this shaky struggle, she frowns and asks, "Why'd you let me go?"

I say the first thing that comes to mind. "I don't kill the helpless."

Way to go, me. That only makes it worse.

She scowls and presses harder. "_You're_ the helpless one now, slut." There's no mercy in her eyes.

I pull up my left leg and kick her in the stomach. She doesn't go flying off me, but the pressure on my bat lets up enough for me to throw her bat off, to pull my left fist back and punch her in the nose. Blood starts to pour out and I punch again, since we're still too close to use my bat, and again, and she scrambles away and seems to growl at me and stands up, pulling her bat behind her to strike.

I dodge it and roll away, jumping to my feet, throwing out my forearm to block a hit aimed at my head. I strike at her. She blocks, but slower, clumsier than before, and I press my advantage. I lash out with everything I have, until finally I get my chance. I hit her in the head, as hard as she hit me. She stumbles to the ground the same way I did, but I don't jump on top of her to prolong my moment of victory the way she did. I swing my bat toward her head a second time, and she's still too dazed to block, and it's a straight hit to the side of her head.

She crumples.

For a second my stomach jolts as I wonder if I hit her in the temple and killed her, but wait, no, she's breathing. I feel a slight worm of relief, then immediately kick myself for it -like Kisame said, _she's my enemy. _I shouldn't be happy that she's alive, that I didn't kill her. And if anyone else in the Akatsuki were in my position, they'd kill her right here and now...wouldn't they?

I grimace. "And stay down," I snap, but I turn away to go help Kisame and Deidara fight in the house, because no matter what they say or what my mind says, it's wrong. I hate killing. I like fighting, but I _hate _killing, and I won't do it when it's not completely necessary. She's knocked out, and that's good enough for now.

I race toward the back door, but before I can enter the house Kisame comes barreling out, and I barely have time to catch his toothy grin. I stop, perplexed, watching Deidara and Sasori (found him!) come running out after him.

"What-" I start to ask, following them.

"Run," Sasori tells me calmly.

I pick up the pace.

As I climb the fence, I hear Deidara say to Sasori, "It's too bad they got away, but at least we'll go out with a bang, un!"

_I should've known._

I sprint down the alley after Kisame as I hear, "KATSU!"

The night sky lights up, turned orange and yellow for a split second, blinding even as I face the other direction. I wince as my ears seem to pop from the sound of the explosion, peppered with the crazy blond's laughter.

I smile to myself in relief, and grin in satsifaction of a job well done, and finally laugh in the exhilaration of 'going out with a bang'.

"Itachi should be right up here," Kisame calls back over his shoulder.

"Heading home, right?" I ask hopefully, exhausted.

"Yep. I think Oto will remember this well enough," Kisame answers.

"As well they should," Sasori puts in, sounding irritated, as the wail of sirens grows closer. "Brat, that was uncalled for."

"Uncalled for but fun, un!"

Exhaustion has crept into my muscles with a vengeance as I slide into the backseat of Kisame's car, with Deidara on the left and Sasori on the right. Kisame takes shotgun. Itachi speeds off into the night, smoothly taking back roads to avoid the police.

"That explosion..." Itachi asks, tiredly.

"Do you even have to ask?" Sasori answers.

Deidara laughs. I try to keep my eyes open.

"How'd your mission go?"

Itachi pauses before answering: "It was succesful."

Yeah, we're not gonna get much more outta him than that. I rub my head where that Tayuya girl bashed me, blinking slowly, wanting to fall asleep as the night's events have taken their toll on me.

"But what was with you getting captured?" Kisame asks laughingly, turning back to look at Deidara.

"The brat was being overly reckless again," Sasori drawls, smirking. "I can't imagine you're thrilled about being saved by a girl."

"Hey, watch it!" I snap.

Deidara scowls. "Shut up, Danna! I still got the last word, un."

"That you did," Sasori concedes.

I snort. "When the last word spoken is 'katsu'..."

"It means you've had a pretty good night, un," Deidara finishes, gloating.

I have to smile. His ability to turn any situation around to make him be able to gloat is endearing in an extremely annoying sort of way. In the you-can't-help-but-laugh-at-it kind of way. That, or I'm delusional from exhaustion. I scoot forward in my seat, laying my head on my chest, and close my eyes, letting a warm darkness rise up over my thoughts.

**Deidara**

He grinned. Taking a sharp right turn back there may have been the best thing Itachi had ever done for Deidara.

Mari leaned against him where she'd fell, her head on his shoulder. He knew as soon as she woke up she'd turn red with embarresment, and then with anger, pushing him away; but it was a long ride back, and Mari was sound asleep. No one seemed inclined to wake her up. Deidara ran one finger through the end of her black ponytail, feeling her breathe against his neck.

Yeah...it had been a pretty good night.

* * *

><p><strong>I felt like writing an action scene. : Can't decide whether to call that last bit sweet, or funny, or cheesy...Oh well, it's really up to you.**

**I'm really dissapointed with the number of reviews I've been getting. I'm not going to put anymore review quotas, because while that seemed okay six months ago it seems pretty lame now, but come on guys- Review!**

**-amy out**


	37. What Remains of My Sanity

**Fair warning to all of you reading this: CRACK ALERT. This is going to be a good chapter for all you Sasori fans out there. *snicker* I make life so hard for Mari…**

**This is probably pretty unpolished, but that's because I really want to update before my mom gets home and I get grounded for even LONGER for being on the computer. -_- FYI, as things stand right now I'm supposed to be ungrounded on the 25th, but you never really know with me. I was supposed to be ungrounded on the seventh of this month, before I went and failed Algebra...**

* * *

><p>Just a friendly piece of advice: <em>Do not <em>get sick in the Akatsuki.

And another friendly piece of advice: In the event that you _do _end up sick, _DO NOT _let Sasori find out about it.

So, anyways, Thursday night I start feeling a little sick, you know, headache, upset stomach and whatnot. I really, really should've just kept my big mouth shut about it, but _nooo. _"Damn, I feel like shit," I groan to Joseph, rubbing my temples.

I see Deidara and Sasori give me a passing look of mild interest, before going back to watch Sons of Anarchy.

"Don't care. Shut the fuck up," Hidan tells me, eyes on the screen.

"Hey fuck you, man, I'm having a crisis here!" I whine, leaning on the arm of the couch and closing my eyes.

"Be quiet, we're trying to watch TV," Kakuzu tells me irritably.

I open my eyes, glaring around the room. "You guys really suck, you know that? What if I'm actually sick, man?"

"I don't know _what _we would do _then," _Kakuzu replies sarcastically.

I flip him off.

"Oh, Mari, don't flip a shit," Joseph tells me, plopping down next to me, and reaching out a hand to feel my forehead. "I'm sure you're fi- hey, your forehead is actually kinda hot…"

"I _told_ you!" I say, ignoring Sasori turning towards me straightfacedly.

"It _is_ flu season," he comments, continuing to gaze at me.

Deidara looks at him, then me, then rolls his eyes. "Oh, leave her alone, un…"

"Be _quiet, _Deidara."

I frown at the exchange, but don't ask a question because I'm talking to Joseph. "You should probably get to bed, Mari…."

I shake my head. "Fuck that, I'm watching Sons of Anarchy."

Hidan snorts. "We _are _the Sons of Anarchy."

"Hell yeah!" Kisame agrees, the two of them high-fiving.

"_Mari," _Joseph says, snapping her fingers in my face. "If you're sick, you need to go to bed."

"Back off, _Mom,"_ I tell her, glaring. "I'm just…_kinda_ sick."

"'Kinda' sick?" she deadpans skeptically.

"Yep," I answer defiantly.

"Look, either you _are, _or you _aren't_," Joseph insists.

"Then I _aren't_, man."

Joseph shakes her head at me. "What's the big deal, it's just Sons of Anarchy."

Me, Hidan, Kisame and Deidara all snort.

"What?" Joseph asks, looking around at us.

"_Just _Sons of Anarchy?" Kisame asks her, shaking his head. "Seriously, Joseph?"

"What the fuck is the matter with you?" Hidan asks her.

She shrugs. "Yeah, it's an awesome show, but it's not worth risking one's health over."

"That's a matter of opinion, un."

"Agreed," Hidan nods.

"Come on, Mari, back us up here," Kisame says, turning to me.

He stops when he sees my face. "Uh…Mari?" he asks.

I shake my head slowly, biting my lips together and willing him not to talk to me and expect a reply, because that would require me to open my mouth, which I will never…do…ever…again…

"What's up with you, hm?" Deidara asks, looking at me.

Joseph snorts. "You're gonna throw up, aren't you."

I nod.

"Oh, fucking gross!" Hidan shouts, jumping away from me.

"Don't puke on me!" Kisame joins in.

"Out of the way, you idiots," Joseph mutters, pushing them aside as she darts into the kitchen.

Sasori smirks. "So, you're not sick, huh?"

I glare at him.

Joseph arrives just in time with a bucket. I pick it up and run into the hallway before I start puking my guts out.

"It's a good thing you always wear your hair in a ponytail," she tells me, patting my back.

I glare at her.

"Just saying…"

I throw up a little more before I seem to dry up. "Here," I say shakily, holding the bucket out to Joseph.

She takes it, looking at it in disgust. "Gee, thanks…"

I smile weakly. "Sorry."

"Eh, what are friends for," she shrugs. Then she holds the bucket of puke away with one hand, pulling down the string to my room with the other. "You: bed. Now."

"…Fine." Normally I would argue with her and tell her not to tell me what to do, but in all honesty I've just thrown up too much to be obnoxious. I stumble up the ladder and into my bed, turning off the light as I go.

* * *

><p>The next morning, is when the consequences of ignoring my little tip at the beginning of the chapter start to kick in.<p>

Already feeling like crap when I wake up, I pry my eyes open expecting to see my ceiling illuminated by strands of early morning light.

Instead I see Sasori leaning over me.

"AHH!" I screech.

"About time," he tells me irritably, frowning at me.

"How long have you been sitting there, man?!"

"Long enough to become impatient." He leans away from me, and I look at where he's sitting, alarmed to see a small fold-out table covered with white cloth, cotton balls, syringes, and containers of brightly colored chemicals I don't recognize. "I believe I've told you before that I don't like to be kept waiting, haven't I?"

"What the hell is all that, man?!" I ask, eyeing the needles with suspicion.

"Oh, yes," he answers, switching his gaze toward the table momentarily. "Did you know that I'm schooled in medicine?"

"No. Actually, I did _not_ know that."

"Well, I am. As such, I often serve as the Akatsuki's doctor when one or more of us becomes ill." He starts to pick up a needle, looking at it contemplatively. "Going to a hospital can sometimes become…_complicated_."

"Well, you can forget it, I'm fine," I tell him irritably.

He gives me a skeptical look. "No, you're not. I've already determined that you have the flu. Now sit still."

My stomach lurches suddenly. My eyes widen and I swallow bile. "Oh my god, I'm gonna die…"

"Doubtful," Sasori replies dismissively, still looking through his supplies as though deciding which needle to stick into my arm first. "Unless, that is, you have an exceptionally weak immune system. You have contracted the flu before, haven't you?"

I give him a dirty look. "Yes, I have, and I know for a _fact _getting the flu doesn't require getting _that _many shots, man." Especially not that questionable-looking green one…

"Ah, yes, I thought we might run into that little snag," Sasori replies, finally selecting a needle and dipping it into a clear liquid, filling it with an expert hand. "You see, this isn't all strictly for the purpose of curing your flu."

"Say what now?"

"A good number of these are experimental drugs I've been needing to test on humans," Sasori explains, flicking the needle. "However, my colleagues and I don't see eye-to-eye on the subject…they never seem to want to volunteer."

I gape at him, dread starting to fill me. "Don't even think about it! I'm not a guinea pig, dickwad! Get away!"

He raises an eyebrow at me, smirking slightly. "What are you going to do about it?"

"Fuck you!" I start to scoot away and sit up, planning to run, but as soon as I stand up my headache gives a nasty jolt, a wave of nausea hits me and my vision starts to dim. I sit back down on the bed. "Nevermind…"

"That's what I thought. Now lay down, sick people need their rest."

I turn to glare at him. "Like hell I'm gonna lay down so you can pump me full of drugs and shit! I'm probably gonna end up growing a second head or something fucked-up like that!"

Sasori rolls his eyes. "That's impossible."

"Yeah, well, if it wasn't I'm sure you'd find a way!" I snap.

Sasori sighs. "Mari, calm down. None of these are lethal. I've already used them on animals with no negative side effects; human testing is simply the next step. Now quit being a baby."

"You've got to be kidding me, man!"

"And yet I am not. Funny how that sometimes happens, isn't it?"

"Forget it! I'm not letting you put jackshit in my veins!"

Sasori smiles sinisterly. "But you don't have a choice."

"Oh, and why not!"

"Because Leader allows me to do whatever I see fit to heal a member if they become sick; since every patient of mine has healed in a timely and orderly fashion, any protests of theirs usually go ignored."

"So he's fine with you experimenting on Akatsuki members?"

"I didn't say that. But if one of them were to mention it to him at any point, I would just tell him that they're delirious, which of course only results in them being under my supervision longer." His smile widens, and I get the feeling he's really enjoying himself. "It's best you accept the inevitable and relax."

"How the fuck do you expect me to relax after that shit?!"

"Well, I think I may have a drug for that…"

"HELL NO!"

"Then pipe down and quit complaining. Didn't I already tell you I'm fairly sure they're harmless?" He dabs a cotton ball in alcohol and starts to clean off a spot on the inside of my arm. I try to pull away, but I'm not at my strongest at the moment and he just grips tighter. "Relax your arm."

"Fuck off!"

He shrugs. "Suit yourself." He presses the needle into my arm, and I don't try to stop him –it's too late anyways. I watch as the clear liquid seeps out of the needle and into my blood with dread. I don't care if he says they're harmless, this is _Sasori _talking.

"I bet you're the one who got me sick in the first place, man," I mutter in resignation as he picks up another needle.

He rolls his eyes again. "What possible reason would I have to do that?"

"Because you're an asshole."

He gives me a dirty look, and jabs the next needle into my arm particularly hard.

"Ow!" I protest.

"Oh, hush, are you a member of the Akatsuki or not?"

"I, didn't, _want, to, be, one!" _ I snap angrily.

"Nevertheless."

"You're not gonna get away with this, man."

"Yes I am."

I grimace, watching as Sasori gives me three more shots, each one increasing my certainty that I'm about to die. The whole time Sasori upholds this indifferent air, despite the lingering smirk on his face. After the fourth shot, my throat starts to burn and my mouth starts to water and I know I'm about to throw up. Sasori sees the look on my face and hands me the trash can from the floor.

I puke in it. I spit and make a face. "Ugh," I grunt, grimacing at the awful taste of vomit in my mouth.

"Are you done?" Sasori asks impassively.

I glare at him. "I hate you."

"I don't care."

"Jesus, Sasori, quit picking on her, un."

I groan out loud as I see Deidara climb through the trapdoor. "Go away, man!" I snap.

He grins, walking toward me. "Rough morning, hm?"

I glare at Sasori again. "Ask _him." _

Deidara's eyes run over Sasori's equipment, then to me, and he shakes his head. "That's not right, Danna."

"It's a cruel world, brat." He leans over to start jabbing needles into my other arm as Deidara walks around the bed to sit on the other side of me.

"I feel bad, I really should've warned you before to keep quiet if you ever end up sick, un," Deidara tells me, grinning at my discomfort and anger.

"Well, gee, thanks for remembering _now,"_ I snap.

"Sasori, what are you doing?"

I look toward the door as Itachi climbs through as well, surveying the scene.

Sasori doesn't look at him, continuing to work expressionlessly. "Nothing lethal."

"Sasori," Itachi starts, somewhat warningly.

"Relax, Itachi," Sasori cuts across him. "Mari gave consent."

My eyes narrow and I open my mouth to object, but before I can, Sasori angles his face away from Itachi and calmly whispers, "_Placebo effect." _

My face reddens. I close my mouth and glare at Sasori, who smirks at me.

"Is that true?" Itachi asks me, crossing his arms.

_Motherfucking shit_, I think, gripping the comforter.

Sasori raises an eyebrow at me.

"Yeah, I said he could," I answer, gritting my teeth. Sasori nods in satisfaction, and it crosses my mind that there's no way I could ever hate him more than I do in this moment.

Itachi shakes his head. "Your decision, Mari…"

Deidara frowns, having seen mine and Sasori's entire exchange, but before he can say anything, I get another visitor. "Out of my way," Leader demands. Itachi sidesteps him.

Leader stands over my bed, glaring down at me with crossed arms. I gulp…as if he's not intimidating enough when he's not towering over you. "You're sick," he tells me accusingly.

"Uh…"

"Yes, she is," Sasori cuts across me, looking up at Leader. "She has the flu, but I'm taking care of it."

Leader's ringed eyes glance at the multiple needles next to him. "How long will it be until she is well? I need her functioning soon."

"Probably only a few days," Sasori replies.

Leader nods. "Good." He turns to leave.

I close my eyes and stifle a groan. _Why me?_

* * *

><p>Forty minutes, six needles and two more instances of projectile vomiting later I'm laying flat on my back, staring at the ceiling and trying to convince myself that Sasori is scared enough of Leader not to have intentionally pumped anything deadly into my veins; from the sound of it, Pain actually has vested some interest in keeping me alive. Still, though, I can't imagine Sasori being scared of anyone…and it can't be healthy to have like seventeen different chemicals in me at once. I questioned him about it, but he went off on this long-winded lecture about chemicals targeting different systems and negative versus positive side effects and <em>he <em>knew what he was doing, it wasn't like Deidara was the one "fraternizing" (he actually used that word….WTF) with chemicals, if that was the case he would understand my unease, and did I really think he hadn't already thought of that, and since the purple one was a metal-based toxin –oh wait, he meant antidote, uh-huh, yeah, I'm sure- it wouldn't interfere with the workings of the green one, which was water-based-

"Okay okay okay," I said hastily, waving my hands in front of his face. "I get it, I get it. You're the doctor, you have chemicals, you know big words. Duly noted."

Sasori did not appreciate the sarcasm, which I think might be why I'm laying here feeling practically paralyzed right now.

"SASORI!" I shout, since my vocal cords, at least, haven't been paralyzed. "WHY CAN'T I MOVE MY ARMS?!"

"Probaby because of the unintentional by-product of the CF-145," he mutters, ignoring me and scribbling frantically on a notepad. "Caused by the chemical diffusion of disodium inosinate..."

"I don't give a flying fuck what caused it!" I snap. "Make my arms work again!"

"It doesn't work that way, stupid girl." He deigns to look up from his paper long enough to pick up my limp arm and then let it fall. "In any case, it will only last six hours at the most."

I take a deep breath. "If you didn't know it would paralyze me, how are you so certain it'll only last for so long, man?"

"Hm. Good point. I suppose we'll just have to wait and see, won't we?"

I fight the urge to sceam.

* * *

><p>Sasori leaves soon and I doze off for a while; it's not like I can do much else, is it? I don't wake up until I suddenly feel a figner poking into my face, none too gently.<p>

"-the hell..."

"Wake up," Sasori monotones.

I blink a few times, then narrow my eyes in an irritated glare. "Didn't you say sick people need their rest?"

"I did. However, sick people also need nourishment. Hence, I made soup, and you are going to eat it."

"Don't need to ask me twice, man! I'm starved!" I squirm around, trying to sit up.

"Then quit moving." Sasori puts the ceramic bowl down on the foldup table he brought and dips a spoon in.

I frown. "Hey, where's mine?"

He gives me an odd look. "Right here." He starts to carefully bring the spoon toward my mouth, with a somewhat irritted expression, when it finally clinks in my head.

"Oh, _hell_ no!" I snap, moving my head in the other direction.

"_Now _what?" he asks in exasperation.

"You are not _feeding _me, like a _child!" _I protest indignantly.

"Would you prefer an IV?" he drawls sarcastically.

"Yes, actually, I would!"

"Well, as that was an ironic question rather than a legitimate inquiry, you don't have a choice." He pokes my cheek with the spoon, the hot soup burning slightly. "You need nutrition for a full recovery. Eat."

"No! I'll feed myself, man!"

Sasori scoffs. "How? You can't move."

"Yes I can!" I reply hotly. "See..." I begin to squirm from my position on my back to sit up, not using my still-useless (although somewhat less numb) arms. When I'm succesful I turn to face a smug grin at Sasori.

Sasori is unimpressed. "Yes, well, as _mind-bogglingly _impressive as that is," he replies in a bored voice, "unless you can still use at least one of your arms at at leat 60 percent of your normal capabilities, it will not work. Besides, your muscles will deteriorate if over-used in this state." Suddenly he grabs my chin and forces the spoon in unceremoniously, like some kind of a fucking _ninja. _I nearly choke before swallowing, not even having time to notice how good the soup tastes.

When I finally get it down I start to cough. "Dammit, you fucking psycho!"

He ignores me and fills the spoon again. "Open up."

"Look, I'm not hungry, okay, so ju- _cough cough choke!" _

"I am prepared to do this all day. One way or another, you are going to eat, and then you are going to take medicine, so you'd best get used to the fact."

"Fuck you!" I turn my head before he can force-feed me to eat any more food. Granted, I am _starving, _and that chicken noodle soup tastes divine, but dammit, it's the principle of the thing! I still have my pride, even if I'm partly paralyzed, and if I'm hungry I can just suck it up!

He tries to grab my chin again, but I jerk violently in the other direction.

He _lets go. _

And, well, physics happen.

I fall face-first onto the floor, unable to throw my arms out to break my fall. "OW!" I wince at the pain in my face and head. "Son of a million bitches!"

I hear Sasori sigh, slowly walk around the bed, and stop next to me. "Why must you always make such a fuss over these things?"

"Why do you _think?!" _I snap, rolling over onto my stomach to glare at him. "I'm not gonna have you spoon-feed me, it's damn humiliating! I'll eat when my arms feel better!" I do a sit-up, then begin trying to shakily stand up without using my arms.

He sighs again before helping me up and back onto the bed. "Are you dead-set against eating your lunch?" he asks tiredly.

"Damn skippy!"

"You're not hungry at all."

"Nope."

Just then my stomach gives an unhelpful growl.

Sasori raises an eyebrow.

I raise mine back, defiantly.

"...Then I propose a compromise."

I tilt my head, curious.

"We will wait two hours," he says, holding up two fingers to emphasise the point. "By then the drug should have run its course. If for any reason that is not the case, you will consent to be fed without complaint. Let me finish," he cuts me off, holding up a hand. "However, between now and then you _will _take the medicine, and you _will _follow all of my directions from here on out. Agreed?"

I scowl, thinking it over. "It's not much of a deal, is it?"

"I am prepared to use a funnel, should it come to that."

"Deal."

He nods his head in satisfaction. "Very well." He then turns around and measures ten milliliters of something into a clear medicine cup. He turns back to me.

I glower at him, still resentful.

"Drink it, or the deal's off. Besides that, you won't get any better unless you do." He smirks. "Trust me."

I make a face. "Asshole." But I open my mouth and take the medicine.

"_Very _good."

"Asshole!"

"I honestly don't understand how you find that offensive."

"Figure it out, man..."

* * *

><p>I spend the next hour and a half thoroughly bored and thoroughly <em>hungry. <em>Sasori sits next to the bed, alternating between reading a magazine and jotting down notes on hs notepad, ignoring me. The only time he acknowledges me existance is when my stomach gives the occaisional growl, in which case he looks up to smirk at me before looking back at what he's doing. I start to get hungry enough that being spoon-fed is starting to sound somewhat less degrading, but I am _not _going to change my mind, not after throwing a fit about it earlier.

The good thing is that my arms are starting to get a tingly, needles-and-pins feeling that I'm pretty sure means the feeling is coming back. Huzzah.

At this point I hear the attic door bein pulled down and I turn to face it eagerly, hoping it's Joseph.

It's not. "Hell! No! Leave, Bonde Prick!" I shout as a mass of yellow hair struts into my vision.

He grins. "So how's it going, Sasori, hm?" he asks casually, obviously ignoring my anger.

"It's going." Sasori glances up from his magazine toward his partner as Deidara fully enters the room. "She's quite stubborn, but I should be able to force her to recover in spite of that."

"Oh, and I'm fine, thanks for asking," I say sarcastically. "Now get the fuck out!"

"Yeah, sorry you're having a hard time, un," Deidara goes on, still igoring me although grinning visibly wider.

"I'm sure."

"LEAVE!"

"Tell ya what, though," Deidara says casually, addressing Sasori but smirking at _me. _"How about you take a little break? I'll watch her for a while, un."

"Blonde Prick, you are HIGH off your ASS if you think-"

"Sounds like a plan."

My mouth drops open in horror at Sasori's reply, even as Deidara grins at me triumphantly. "What the fuck, man?!"

He shrugs nonchalantly, smirking at me. "I'm tired. Perhaps if you were less troublesome patient, I wouldn't be, but sadly that is not the case." He stands up and begins to leave.

"Are you fucking kidding me!" I comlain.

Apparently he's not -he up and leaves the room, no questions asked.

Deidara grins at me. "And then there were two, un."

I glower at him. "What do you want, man?" I ask irritably.

His grin widens as he starts to slowly walk toward me. "Quality time, is that so wrong, hm?"

"Yes! Especially the way _you_ said it..." I mutter.

"Mind out of the gutter, Tough Girl," he teases, then pretends to look thoughtful. "Well, on secod thought, grt minds think alike, un."

"Fuck you!"

"That's the spirit, un."

He approaches the bed.

"Get away from me!" I snap angrily, beads of unease starting to crawl up and down my spine.

"Make me, un." He crouches down to the left of me, smirking. "Besides, you didn't seem to have a problem leaning all over me the other night, did you, hm?"

"That was an accident and you know it, man!"

"Whatever you say, Tough Girl." He frowns. "You must be really sick, un. Why aren't you sitting up or flipping me off or something, hm?"

I scowl. "Fucking Sasori gave me something that paralyzed my arms. Dickhole."

Deidara's grin slowly widens. "So, you can't use your arms at all, hm?"

"Quit smirking."

He stands up. _"Bummer,"_ he says, sliding next to me on the bed.

"Goddammit, you fucking fucker! Move it, now!" I order, but I guess I must not look that intimidating from here.

"Oh, shush."

"You did not just _shush _me"

"No, but I did do this, un." He uses his left hand (gloved, thankfully) and lightly brushes my bangs off my forehead. I freeze up as the patch of skin he brushed against starts to swarm with pinpricks of mixed thrill and discomfort and underlying threat. I recoil. "Quit it!"

He ignores me and lays the back of his fingers on my forehead lightly. "Damn, you are sick. You're burning up. Of course, that could just be becuase you're blushing, un."

"I am _not!" _

"You are, un."

"Am not!"

"Well, you definetly are, now, un."

I glare at him for a moment, trying to think of a way to get him to _fucking leave. _When a few seconds pass and I can't think of anything, I let my head fall back onto my pillow, close my eyes, and let out a hideous groan of frustration.

Deidara snickers. "What the hell was _that, _un?"

"_That,_" I answer, eyes still closed, "was the sound of what remains of my sanity rolling around on the floor in agony, dying, then reviving and coming back as a zombie to tell me to _murder _you the next chance I get!"

"..._Someone's _PMS-ing, un."

Even though my arms still can't move, I make a desperate grab for his throat. My arm twitches but it doesn't do any good. Deidara grins at me smugly, a grin that continues to grow as he slides slightly closer to me and the smug look suddenly becomes something deeper, something more...threatening. Not good. I decide that I need to get away from him, _now. _However it's kind of hard to sit up with near-useless arms. But I think he sees that I'm unusually uncomfortable out of nowhere, so I cover it up by saying, "I hope I'm contagious, you shitsucker."

He laughs again, but still doesn't leave. I consider rolling out of bed onto the floor again...no, he'd probably just laugh at me again, and when he laughs at me I become so disproportionatlely angry that I start to say things even _I _don't understand, and do things I wouldn't normally do. Being around him makes me insane, moreso than usual, and as things are I shouldn't be taking any chances with what remains of my sanity. Then again, it's not like I really have a choice sometimes, is it? Besides, in a world that progressively becomes crazier and crazier, sometimes the appropriate response to reality is to go insane.

"Alright, brat, you've had your fun. Now leave my patient alone. She's right, she might be contagious, and I don't want to go through the hassle of nursing you back to health as well."

I never thought I'd be happy to see Sasori enter the room, especially not a few hours ago. Deidara pouts. "Like hell you don't, un," he mutters, but he obliges Sasori and leaves.

"Leave for your own sake, then," Sasori replies. Deidara leaves.

I direct my glare at Sasori.

He raises an eyebrow. "What?"

"Thanks for that, man," I reply acidly. "Couldn't you tell I didn't want to talk to him?"

Sasori smirks. "Yes. But the sooner the two of you resolve this stupidity, the less I'll have to hear about it."

"Huh?"

"You really don't get it?"

"Uh, no."

His smirk widens almost imperceptibly as he sits back down in the chair he'd brought, to read. "Then I'm not going to tell you."

"Ass."

* * *

><p><strong>...I have no excuse for this chapter. Please, just go with it. <strong>

**I threw that quote in specifically for you, blackcatgirl, in case you were wondering. **

**And now an Amy story that I believe you will enjoy: The other day I was trying to heat hot wax in the microwave, but as I got it out I spilled it on my thumb, dropped it, and it splattered in my face, burned me pretty badly. Anyways, I went to school didn't want to tell my classmates that I got burned because I'm a dumbass, so I made up this ridiculously absurd story about rushing into a burning building save a baby. Apparently I was pretty convincing, because basically the entire freshman class _fucking believed that shit- _which I of course thought was hilarious. Now here's where it starts to get really crazy: a _freaking teacher _believed me, and they wanted to _honor _me, get me a _medal _for that lie. They called the damn FIRE DEPARTMENT to confirm it. They were like, "Uh...no, there's been no fire, that girl was lying her ass off." So they called me into the office and I apologized...although I still think it's pretty damn funny. And I swear I'm not making any of this up...**

**Anyways, back to the matter at hand. I hope you liked this nonsense. Review because...because...because I really want you to? And thanks for reading!**

**-amy out**


	38. An Overdue Decision

**Tah- fucking-dah, people! Amy here, with another update! I couldn't put off this chapter much longer. Too much suspense evantually becomes boredom.**

**500 reviews, man! FUCK to the YEAH! I, am, esctatic, and very grateful to everyone who reads and reviews this. 500 marks the halfway point to my (very unrealistic) goal of 1000. I'm not planning on ending this anytime soon, so you have lots more of Mari and Joseph to look forward to!**

**Lyrics from Had Enough by Breaking Benjamin.**

* * *

><p>"Hey Mari!"<p>

I turn to look at Kai as he enters the house Friday afternoon home from school.

"What's up, bro?" I ask.

"Can I sign up for football?" he asks, sliding onto a chair and pulling it up to the table.

I blink. "Uh, sure. Didn't you play last year, man?"

"Nah. Two years ago."

"Oh." I pause. "I don't see why not, unless...like, what do I have to do? Sign you up and stuff?"

He shakes his head. "Nah, I already signed myself up." When I raise my eyebrows in querstion, he goes on to explain, "You're supposed to have a parent come sign you up, but I told them Itachi was my big brother and-"

_"What?" _I ask, surprised. "What do you mean Itachi?"

Kai rolls his eyes at me. "Itachi, as in the guy who's been living here for like three months now? _That _Itachi, Mari."

I make an irritated face at him. "First off, it hasn't been near three months, more like two. And second, why was he...when did this happen, man?"

Kai shrugs nonchalantly. "Itachi's been coming to get me from school ever since- uh, I mean, for a few weeks now," he ends hastily, looking away.

My eyes narrow. Kai never was a very good liar. "Ever since _what, _Kai?"

Kai looks at me nervously, then quickly away, then back at me again, the way he does when he doesn't want me to know something. Something big. "Nothing. It's nothing, Mari-nee-chan."

I grip the chair tightly. I swallow. "Kai, either you tell me what happened, or I'm going to go ask Itachi himself," I say seriously.

Kai glares at me. "Mari, it's not that big a deal-"

"Tell me!" I snap.

Kai bites his lip, then looks down, then back up at me resolutely. "Fine. All that happened was I was walking home from school with Konahamaru, and this car drove up by us, and these girls got out with bats, and-" Kai goes on talking in a rush, as if saying these things quickly might make me not hear them correctly. "-and they were all laughing at us, and one pushed me down, but then Itachi showeed up and they got back in and drove away," he finishes, looking back up to me. I know he's hoping he'll see me roll my eyes and say it's no big deal.

Needless to say that's not the case. Rage is starting to rise up, burning me inside, threatening to take over. I force it down. "Were they...were they wearing...a lot of blue?" I ask through gritted teeth.

Kai bites his lip, and nods. "Yeah, but- Mari, wait!" he shouts as I make a move toward the living room. "You don't have to do anything!"

"Yes I do, Kai!" I shout back. "Oto fucking _threatened _you, man! They _pushed you down!" _Nobody on this planet will ever lay a _finger _on my little brother without getting every bit of it back times a thousand! Fuck that shit, I'm sending every single goddamn one of them to the _goddamn hospital- _

"Yeah, but I'm fine!" Kai replies hotly, jumping up to stand in front of me. "I haven't even seen them since! Itachi picks me up every day and it's fine-"

"Move, Kai," I tell him coldly, pushing him out of the way so I can go get my bat-

**POW! **"YOU NEVER LISTEN!"

My eyes widen as the back of my head throbs. It takes me a second to compute that Kai just _punched_ me. I turn around slowly to see Kai glaring up at me defiantly. I raise my hand up to my head, wincing...damn, that kid can hit hard for a nine-year-old... "What do you mean, I never listen?" I ask angrily, still rubbing my head.

"Why do you think I didn't tell you before?" Kai snaps, sounding close to tears. "I knew you would do this! You always have to do what _you _want, you won't even listen to me-"

"I'm trying to protect you!" I snap back, because even if Oto doesn't look like they're trying to get him anymore, who cares? They need to know not to even _think _about abducting my little brother. There has to be someone I can find and hit, someone I can punish for this, someone who I can hurt until I know they'll never ever try and hurt him again...

"Well I _don't want you to!_" Kai snaps back. "I told you, I can take care of myself!" he declares pridefully.

"No you can't! You're only nine!"

"I don't care," he insists stubbornly.

We glare at each other for a minute, older sister and younger brother. I have to admit I'm surprised...I always knew Kai was tough, but I never saw this part of him before...It's annoying. Whether he likes it or not he is still too small to be able to do everything himself, he should just accept my help, in whatever form I want to give it. Oto's no one to mess with, they could really hurt him, and I cannot _stand_ to see him hurt. But then again...

I swallow, forcing myself to think rationally. It's still his call to make. No matter how young he is. As long as he's not in any immediate danger, it's his decision now.

Still, knowing that and believing it are two different things, and acting on it is something else altogether. When I picture some nameless Oto slut pushing my little brother...rage threatens to swallow me alive. I make my hands into fists. "Kai...are you sure?" I ask quietly.

He nods. "I can't...I can't let you do everything for me, Mari," he says softly, looking at me with big, wet, green eyes...

And just like that, I crumble. Anger seems to _woosh _out of me like a popped balloon. "Okay. Fine. This one time, I won't do anything," I tell him. He nods. "But you have to promise me that you won't go anywhere alone from now on, okay? I don't care if it's me, or Itachi, or Joseph, or even fucking _Tobi, _you don't go anywhere alone from here on out, do you understand?"

"Yeah."

"And if anything like this ever happens again, you have to tell me, man! It's my job to protect you and-"

"Okay okay!" Kai says, waving his hands at me. "You've told me a million times! I don't need to hear it again!"

I have to laugh. "You're a little punk, man."

"Whatever. So, can I do football?" he asks eagerly.

I sigh. "Fine. Can you work it out with Itachi?"

"Uh-huh. Hey, did you know that there's an opening for quarterback? I wonder if I could try out..."

* * *

><p>"Itachi," I say later that day, halfway through training.<p>

"What is it?"

I stop doing push-ups so I can look at him. "Why didn't you tell me when Oto tried to fuck with Kai?" I ask, hands on my hips even as I sit in the dirt, glaring.

Itachi stares back at me for a few seconds. "Finish your workout."

"No!"I snap, standing up and glaring at him. "Why didn't you tell me, man?!"

Itachi looks back at me for a few seconds. "This conversation can wait until the end of today's training."

"FUCK training, man!" I practically shout, furious that he can think about training when I'm trying to talk to him about something like this. "This is serious, Weasel Dick! I'm not doing a single goddamned push-up until you answer me!"

Itachi crosses his arms, then glares at me. I look away, remembering how _not fun _it is to be Sharinganed, but I'm still not backing down until he tells me. I feel furious at him for keeping this from me, and what's more, I feel betrayed. I thought we were on the same side here, and I _know _he knows I'd want to know, _need _to know something like this! What the hell was he thinking!

Itachi walks toward me slowly, ominously, but I refuse to back away. I look up at him furiously.

"I did not tell you," he says softly, "because I knew your temper would lead you to do something asinine and irrational. You were nowhere near strong enough to overpower Oto by yourself, but would you have let that stop you? Would you have even asked for assistance from the other Akatsuki? Of course not. You would've rushed into danger regardless, handing yourself recklessly over to Oto. Now would that have solved anything, Mari?"

I open my mouth to reply when I realize, breath rushing out of me, that I have nothing to say. Itachi's words echo in my brain relentlessly. He's right...no matter how hopeless things would've looked, if I'd thought my little brother was in trouble I would've risked everything to confront them.

"You are too impulsive," Itachi tells me judgementally. "Too impulsive, and too proud."

"Shut up!" I snap, clenching my fists.

"You cannot continue to let your emotions cloud your better judgement. People who do such things only hurt themselves and those they care about in the long run."

I glare at Itachi hatefully, hating his calm voice and judging words, but not being able to find any of my own to counteract them, even though I want nothing more than to say he's wrong, for him to _be _wrong..."You should've told me," I say stubbornly. "I had a right to know!"

"Kai is unharmed," Itachi tells me, hatefully stony-faced. "There was no reason for you to put both you and Kai at further risk."

I let my arms drop to my sides, swinging like limp noodles, as I begin to realize that he's probably right. An objective look at the facts would show that going after Oto under the circumstances would've been stupid, extremely stupid. I'm smart enough that I can see that, I can see things like this, only in a fight between logic and rage in my soul, rage wins hands down. I shake my head, looking at the ground. "I just...I don't want to see him get hurt, man."

"You won't. Not if the Akatsuki has their way."

I look back up at him and nod. "Right." What better protection could I ask for for Kai, other than the Akatsuki? If the Akatsuki has their way, the entire Oto gang will be driven into the ground, exactly where it belongs.

"Now finish your workout."

I roll my eyes and grimace, but put my palms back in the dirt, picking up counting where I'd left off.

It doesn't occur to me until later (as for how _much _later, well, you don't get to know) that Itachi might have been somehow manipulating me by pointing out that the Akatuski would protect Kai, but I swiftly decide that it doesn't really matter. It's true to some degree, and that's what counts. Still, though, this news has seemed to shake up something laying dormant inside of me. I lay awake that night with thoughts falling together in my brain, like peices of a jigsaw puzzle, until I reach a decision.

* * *

><p><em>You had to have it all<em>

_Well have you had enough?_

_You greedy little bastard, you_

_Will get what you deserve..._

I press pause and scowl as I tuck my iPod away in my backpack, which I stow in the backseat of Kisame's car. I'm ditching eighth period today; there's a certain someone I have a score to settle with, and, unfortunately for my math grade, that comes before Algebra 1.

I managed to figure out a way to find Moegi's eighth period class without being too obvious; after all, I did have the entire spring break to do it. I called the office number from a payphone around the corner. "Hello, Leaf High, how may I help you?"

"Yeah, I've got a message for a Moegi Tanaka."

"Which is?"

"She's supposed to meet her aunt in the parking lot after school, to get a ride home," I say.

"Mmh-hmm...What did you say her name was?"

"Meogi Tanaka."

"Uh-huhh...Yep, I've got her. I'll make sure she knows."

"Alright, thank you. Bye."

"Bye."

I hang up the phone and watch around a corner through the clear glass windows of the office as the woman hangs up her phone, writes something down on a peice of paper, and says something to an office aide. The kid walks up, takes the paper, looks at it, and exits the room.

I follow him across the school, up a flight of stairs. I don't think any harm will be done by him knowing I'm following him, but whenever he looks back at me I pretend to be tying my shoe, just in case. It's kind of hard to follow someone undetected in an empty hallway. I note the classroom door he finally knocks on before walking past, rounding a corner, and circling back as he leaves.

Worried there's a slight chance I might've followed the wrong kid, I peer in through the glass door of the classroom from the other side of the hallway until I happen to see Moegi pass by on the other side of the glass.

My mouth twists slightly. Found her.

I retreat to a nearby bathroom to wait out the remaining fifteen minutes until the bell.

When it rings, students flood the halls. I blend in with the masses as Moegi leaves her class, alone for once, not surrounded by a million so-called friends. Which is good for me, at any rate. I follow her downstairs and outside unnoticed...it's not until she's walking between the school and the gardens that I alert her of my presence.

"Hey."

She looks over her shoulder, sees me, and her eyes widen.

"You didn't forget about me, did you?" I ask, picking up the pace.

She bolts.

I sprint after her.

She's no track star; I catch her fairly soon, right next to the part of a school between the paved "alley" and a wall of fences. I grab the back of her shirt and push her into the dead-end. Stumbling, she blindly takes off down it, until she realizes there's nowhere to run.

"Don't even bother," I tell her. "You really should've chosen a better way to run, y'know?"

She stops, breathing heavily, and turns around to face me, glaring at me. "What do you want?"

"Don't play dumb, man. We both know what this is about." I watch her closely, and feel a small spark of respect for her. She's not running anymore, she's staring me down defiantly, ready to fight, not backing down. I thought she was a coward before, but maybe there's more to her than that...but it doesn't really matter now, does it?

I see her swallow. "I thought sending your little Akatsuki pals to hunt the girls I hired would be enough," she spits angrily.

I raise an eyebrow. "Bitch, if you think _anyone _sends the Akatsuki to go do _anything_, you're fucking deluding yourself, man."

"Yeah, whatever," she snaps bitterly.

I pause. "Were they friends of yours?"

"Why should you care?"

"Curious."

She only glares at me. For some reason, I'm reminded irrestistably of myself for a minute...how many times have I been in her situation before? When did the tables turn...why did they? I'm not sure I like being the bully any more than I did being the victim. "Did you know..." I say slowly, digging my ring out of my pocket, "that I'm a member of the Akatsuki now?"

Her eyes widen, staring at the ring in my hand as though it might detonate. I'm looking at it, too, watching Moegi out of the corner of my eye. I still haven't actually worn the thing yet. Maybe it doesn't matter to anyone else, but in my mind wearing it would mean accepting being an Akatsuki and everything that goes with it. It would mean setting in stone that I side with the Akatsuki and my loyalty is to them, to their cause, it would mean accepting that I"m now predator instead of prey. Which I know _sounds _cool, but when you really think about it...

"It's really thanks to you," I say calmly, taking a few slow steps toward Moegi and noting the small half-step she takes away from me before stopping herself. "If you hadn't gotten Oto to jump me, it's safe to say none of this would've never happened."

_Even a small act can mean an incredible change, _I think._ Some things you can't take back once you've done them._

I stop short, glaring at Moegi. "Do you know how insanely fucked-up my life is now, because of that little stunt you pulled in February? Just to prove some point? I can never go back to the way things were, all because of _you." _I narrow my eyes. "I really should beat the hell out of you. That's what you'd do, isn't it?"

Moegi looks at me suspiciously.

I shake my head. "Well, sadly, I'm _not_ you." And for the first time ever, I slip the ring on to the middle finger of my right hand, over the knuckle, the cloud bearing my name facing outward. "I'm an Akatsuki...and frankly, I've got more important shit to do. I just wanted to make sure you got the message, man."

Moegi stares at me, open-mouthed, taken aback. "So...what?" she finally asks. "We're not fighting after all?"

I look upward in a casual, thoughtful look. "Nope," I say lightly. "Guess I'll see you around, man."

I step lightly to the left, montioning for her to walk past me. She looks at me suspiciously, trying to see if I'm joking. Apparently she decides I'm not, because she start to walk past me.

When she gets close enough to me, she pauses, glaring at me suspiciously again.

I smile benignly.

She takes another step.

I punch her in the forehead with my right arm, with all my strength.

She staggers backward. "You bitch!"

I grab her shirt collar, twisting so that it'll render her unconscious if I hold on long enough. "Lesson number one, dumbass: Akatsuki lie."

She's gasping for breath, struggling and punching me hard enough that I might bruise, but each hit is weaker than the last. It's nothing I can't handle. I look at her forehead, slightly to the left, where I'd hit her, and I can already see a pulsing red cloud-shaped mark rising up from her skin, bleeding around the edges.

"Listen here, motherfucker," I tell her. "Just because I don't feel like beating the hell out of you today, I can't let you go off thinking the Akatsuki are losing their touch. So here's the deal. I don't want to hear anything about you or your friends bullying anyone else here, got it? I hear you even said something mean about some kid's mama, and you got _me _to answer to."

She glares at me furiously, not punching anymore for lack of breath.

"As for that mark on your forehead..." I smile. "Don't cover it."

"What!" she chokes.

"You heard me. Don't brush your bangs over it, don't cover it with makeup," I say, watching blood trickle down her nose. "If you do, I'll make sure you're covered in so many you won't have a chance in hell to hide 'em."

I step away, releasing her, watching her gasp and massage her throat. "Other than that, we're good. And don't give me that," I add as she sends me a look of utmost loathing, "we both know you got off easy, man."

I turn to leave without waiting for a reply, quickly so she's less tempted to try and attack me from behind, because I'm really not in the mood for a full-out fight right now. I don't honestly think she'll leave it showing for very long, but a few days should be more than enough.

I manage to jump back in Kisame's car just before Itachi drives off. "Where were you, Mari?" Kisame asks as we drive off. "We'd almost given up on you."

"Busy," I answer curtly, arranging my backpack and retrieving my iPod out of it. As I do so I see that the silver lining on the ring catches the light in the rearview mirror. Itachi glances at the mirror, where I see the reflection of my right hand with the ring on it. Our eyes meet through the mirror for a split second.

I scowl and press play.

_When all is said and done,_

_I will be the one_

_To leave you in your misery_

_And hate what you've become._

* * *

><p><em>"<em>So you took care of Moegi, right, hm?" Deidara asks me the next morning over breakfast.

_God fucking dammit, Kisame. _"Not that it's any of your concern," I mutter in between bites of toast, "but yes."

"Yeah, saw that ring mark on her forehead," Kisame adds, and I glare at him, irritated for having made big news of it. "Really, only one? People will think we've gone soft."

"Well, God forbid," I say sarcastically. "Look, it's my fight and I handled it my way, alright?"

"But you _did _use your ring this time, un," Deidara notices oh-so-cleverly. "What took you so long, hm?"

I very deliberately place a bite of french toast into my mouth, chew, and swallow, resolving to ignore him.

"Shit, if I had that kind of an ugly-ass mark on my face, I'd cover it the fuck up, seriously!" Hidan adds his two cents, thankfully changing the subject.

"Yeah, that is pretty weird," Kisame agrees, frowning.

Deidara gives me a look somewhere between deliberation and amusement. "You told her not to, didn't you, hm?"

I sigh. "Yep."

Hidan laughs out loud.

Kisame chuckles as well. "Nice."

"We'll make an Akatsui member out of you yet," Sasori comments, without looking away from his breakfast.

I stop eating long enough to give all of them the finger.

* * *

><p>A few days later Tsuande sends me a note during eighth period reminding me that I have to attend a weekly Anger Management class every Thursday from now on. I look at the note and groan; this is exactly what I <em>do not <em>need right now. Still, though, I ask Kisame to drive me after school, since I figure it's best not to give the cops a reason to come sniffing around my home. Unfortunately, he's not alone in the room when I ask him.

"You have to go to anger management, un!" Deidara laughs when he finds out. "That sucks!"

I kick him in the shin. "Yeah, I know, man," I answer grumpily.

Sasori chuckles. "No one will argue that it's unneeded..."

"Shut the hell up!" I snap.

"Case in point, un."

They're really starting to annoy me. I try to ignore them, a giant anger vein throbbing in front of my forehead.

"How long will this take?" Itachi asks tiredly.

"I think only an hour or two, man."

"I feel bad for your instructor," Deidara goes on, apparently not done taunting me. "He's fighting a pointless battle, un."

I know he's just looking for a reaction. I remind myself of it twice...and yet, I'm still compelled to answer. "Would you just shut the fuck up already?"

"Remember, deep breaths, count to ten..."

I grit my teeth, as he laughs at me. I'm tempted to either start shouting profanities or throw something, but I know they're waiting to see my reaction, so I try to stay cool. "You, sir, are an asshole," I tell him, turning away. "Good day. Kisame, you taking me or what?"

"Hey, wait, I-" Deidara tries to interrupt, snickering.

"_I said good day." _

I notice Joseph sitting on the couch, laughing her ass off. "What?" I snap.

"This is gold!" she snickers.

Hidan laughs along with her."Deidara got fucking _told_, seriously!"

I try to stay irritated, but I have to laugh. "Whatever, man, I'm gonna be late..."

* * *

><p><strong>This chapter is so garishly different than the last one...Le sigh. I hope the irregularities don't thrw you guys off too much. <strong>

**This is supposed to be a chapter where Mari matures a little bit...I hope I got the message across, ne?**

**WhenTwoTearsFall: I really liked reading your review, even though it was criticism, because I can tell you put some real thought into it. You're right on many points about some of Mari and Joseph's flaws (i.e., Mari being too stubborn to accept help, Joseph being willing to meddle in Mari's life indiscriminately). I purposely gave them shortcomings, because that's how people are; you have strong points and weak ones. Mari and Joseph both grew up pretty rough, and their ideals reflect it -particularly Joseph's. Also, some of their actions reflect parts of their personalities and histories that I haven't touched on yet, and also that might not make sense to anyone but me even when I do. So please keep that in mind when you read about the unwise and, yes, morally wrong things they might do at times. I appreciate you taking the time to think about them, and to review.**

**That's it for my Author's Note. Please review, guys!**

**-amy out**


	39. Dysfunction

**It was a real struggle not to copy Adam Sandler's shit in this chapter. I actually _haven't _been to anger management therapy before, although I've had it threatened, so sorry for any lack of realism. After all this is a fanfiction, not a documentary.**

**That said, I copied everything in the "anger management" booklet from something I found on Google. So please no one try and sue me for it.**

**Lyrics from Till I Collapse by Eminem.**

* * *

><p>"Do you consider yourself to be an angry person, Mari?"<p>

_NO, dumb shit. My _principal _does. I didn't sign up for this gay shit all on my own! _"I guess so, man."

"You 'guess'? Shouldn't you know your own self better than that?" the smug-sounding hippie leading the anger-releasing exercise asks. I look at his nametag: "Bill the Chilled". I decide then and there that I absolutely refuse to refer to him as anything but "Faggot".

I swallow, digging a fingernail into my palm out of habit, because something's got to give. "Isn't that way we're here?"

Faggot and a few other Anger Managers-in-Training (that's what Faggot wants us to call ourselves) chuckle. "That we are, Mari, that we are...now, why don't you tell us a bit about yourself?"

I snort. _You mean like that I've been in at least one fight a month since the second grade and recently joined one of the most feared gangs in Konoha? Hmm, I'll pass..._

"Well?"

Oh, yeah. I have to actually talk to this guy and try to maintain some semblance of manners. I clear my throat, looking down. "Well, I like music. A lot, in fact. More than I like most people." Oh shit, Faggot's marking something down. "I mean, not like that! Not as in, an antisocial statement or anything!"

He looks up and raises an eyebrow at me, smirking slightly.

"I'm serious!" I go on, hearing how squeaky and whiny my voice sounds, and getting -you guessed it- a little angrier. "I was just making a joke- and would you quit writing things down that I'm saying?"

"What makes you think I'm writing things about you?"

I scoff. "Um, the pointed look at me before you began to write, maybe?"

I hear badly concealed chuckles and restrain myself from glaring at them.

"Let's get back to the introduction," Faggot says dryly, flipping a page over in his peace-sign designed notepad. "Why were you sentenced to Anger Management?"

"I got into fights at Leaf High, man," I answer in irritation. He oughta know this already.

"How many?"

"I think it was like, five...or six..." _Oh, shut up raising your eyebrows, you pansies. _

"You've lost track?"

"Yeah- I mean, wait, no! I just didn't count-"

"That's enough, Mari, I think we get the picture," Faggot cuts me off, still writing things down in his little notepad. My blood boils. "Alright...Kiba Inuzuka, how about you?"

A somewhat farmiliar-looking kid with spiky black hair and odd red face paint grins at me and then starts to speak, but I don't hear much of it because I'm too busy clawing at my skin to keep from screaming, and inwardly ranting at Faggot: _Alright, first off your stupid little notepad looks like it belongs to an eight-year-old girl, you gay hippie-ass fucker, and not even a cool one! Like the kind that grow up into freakin'...freakin preppy-as-hell girls! Second off, why the hell do I even have to listen to your pansy ass? Cause you sure as hell aren't helping me learn to control my anger, you're just making me wanna rip your motherfucking head off you shithead sonuvabitch, and goddamn, I need to quit hanging out with Hidan..._

"The two of you attend high school together, don't you?"

_Anyways, it's not like I have absolutely no self-control at all, I mean I'm sitting here right now and not freaking out and-_

"Mari?"

-_see look how annoying this guy is and I'm still not ripping his head off, even though I'm pretty sure I could kill him in like a second with that kickass technique Itachi taught me the other day..._

"Mari, I am trying to speak to you."

"Yeah, and I am trying to ignore you," I shoot back before I can think. _Oh shit. _

Faggot raises his eyebrows yet again. "I see," he says carefully, before making yet another note in his book. "I must say you're making quite a strong first impression, Mari."

"Yeah, I tend to do that. It's a bad habit, I'm gonna try and get a better handle on it, man," I mutter.

Faggot chuckles heartily, oh how funny my self-deprecating comment is to him, how _amusing_, that fucker...

"Well, aren't _you _a firecracker," some thirty-year-old guy comments.

I immediately flare up, ready to bite his head off, but then think better of it. "That's what they tell me, man," I answer with a sincere enough smile that I hope he knows I'm being sarcastic.

It doesn't work. Apparently everyone here is a bit on the dim side of stupid. I inwardly groan and decide to give up. Seriously, it's not worth it to care about this. Just decide it doesn't matter what they say and maybe it won't.

"Don't feel bad," another woman comments (me, her, and whoever that dark-haired girl is makes three versus five males in the room). "We've all got our rage issues here."

_Nooo, that couldn't be why it's called Anger Management, could it? _I inwardly scoff, although I don't say it out loud in hope of not coming across as anymore hostile than I already have. (Also at about this moment is when it crosses my mind that I am pretty rude...she was being nice and what's my immediate reaction?)

"How right you are, Temari...this is a safe place. No judging."

_There is no such thing as safety, and there is _always _judging, you complete and total dipshit. _

See, right there.

"This is therapy: we can be honest with each other about our fears."

_I can't be honest with _myself _about my fears, and I don't want to be. Besides, we're hear for Anger Management, not Fear Management. _

"How about a little exercise?"

_How about it, you fat-ass fuck._

"Let's all go around and tell the group about something we secretly fear, shall we?"

Alright, I can't hold my tongue. "Uh, dude?"

"My name's Bill."

"...Yeah. Um, I don't usually tell total strangers things I consider secrets," I tell him, arms crossed. "What does 'secret' mean, anyways?"

Faggot sighs. "Mari, didn't I just explain to you that this is a safe place?"

I give him a "you-have-got-to-be-kidding" look. I've met a few counselors before, and I never liked one of them. Preppy old ladies who seem to Talk In All Caps in middle school, smug old forty-year-olds leaning forward across a desk toward me and smiling like they know exactly what's going on in my head and only they can steer the poor, misguided lamb that is an "at-risk" youth in the right direction. I hate 'em. I'm sure some counselors aren't so insufferable, but I'll believe it when I see it.

Apparently thinking my silence means he's gotten through to me, he starts asking around: "Umm...I'm scared of heights."

"Spiders."

"No, no, that's not what I meant," Faggot cuts across us. "I meant the fears that your respective anger issues stem from; chronic anger is one's mind's defense mechanism against letting oneself feel fear and sadness..."

Oh, _God. _There's an awkward silence. I refrain, with difficulty, from rolling my eyes.

"Let's try this again." He looks toward the black-haired girl.

"...Abandonment?" she asks, a question. Damn, that's a good one, counselors eat that one up all day...wish I'd thought of that...

The next guy shakes his head, leaning forward. "What do you mean, our fears? I'm not particularly scared of anything."

"Everything fears something," Faggot replies.

The guy gives him a slight dirty look before saying in a slightly irritable voice, "Alright, fine. I'm scared of dying, then."

"Aren't we all?" He is just so clever. "Temari, what do you fear?"

She smirks. "That's easy. I fear..." She crosses her legs and leans forward, and I notice with a twinge of jealousy the effortless way she pulls off the confident, sexy but not quite slutty attitude that she does. "...being imprisoned."

I nod. "Amen to that, sister."

"You might consider your anger an imprisonment, wouldn't you say?" Faggot asks, killing it.

"...I suppose," Temari drawls. A few people chuckle.

I start to consider what I should say. What am I afraid of? Hmm, well, I'm afraid of getting a bullet through my head during a mission, no matter how easy the guys make it look -but I can't exactly say that, can I? I'm scared that Kai will get hurt when I'm not there to watch over him...but I don't want to get onto the subject of Kai. I'm scared of never seeing my parents again...and of the hunch I have of exactly why that is...

I shake my head slightly, shaking these thoughts away, like Scrabble letters from a cardboard game. Fuck it. I'll tell them I'm afraid of being controlled, and hear Faggot make a comment about being controlled 'by my anger', because he's so original and unpredictable like that.

A few moments later, he looks toward me.

I clear my throat. "Uh, I'm afraid of...being controlled, man."

"You should consider the possibility of-"

"-my anger controlling me?" I ask dryly.

He stops talking.

I smirk a little. "That's what you were gonna say, right?"

His eyes narrow as chuckling starts going around the room -chuckling which increases in density and volume when he opens up a new page in his hippie notebook and starts writing yet again, his lips in a thin line. Ha. How great would it be if I could get the Anger Management hippie to get all pissed off at me...? Nah, probably a bad idea. I need this guy to think I'm a non-angry, good citezen-type-person, and I've probably set myself far enough back as it is.

Fifteen minutes of touchy-feely hippie crap later, Faggot declares that it's almost time to go. "Kiba...Mari...we're all very glad to have the two of you in our class." Sure you are. "As a souveneir of your first Anger Management session, I'd like to award to you these ribbons."

What is this, kinder? I take the blue ribbon and practically shudder at the design on the front: "Chill Bill Says You're For Real!" with a picture of a glass of lemonade with sunglasses on it, for some reason. What, _the_ fuck? I really want to just hurt him because of the very existance of this ribbon. I put it in my pocket. "In addition, I've printed out pamphlets on anger management that I'd like you to have read by next week..."

Whatever, man, just let us the fuck _outta _here! We shove the pamphlets in our pockets, mutter good-byes, and head out the door along with the rest of the class.

"Jesus Christ, what an idiot," I hear Temari mutter when I catch up with her.

I laugh. "Right? He's like the hippie that ended up conforming to industry after all."

Temari looks back, sees me, then smirks. "Oh yeah, it's you. The firecracker."

I scowl. "My name's Mari. Hey, what are you in for?"

The other dark-haired girl giggles on the left side of her. "She bitch-slapped a guy so hard she broke his nose."

"Who hasn't, man?"

"He was a cop's son."

"Oh." I pause. "Fuck the police."

They laugh. "Indeed," Temari answers.

"Why'd you do it, anyways?" I ask Temari.

"Because boys are idiots."

"Ain't that the truth."

"Hey, that's not nice!" Kiba protests, grinning. "Aren't you gonna ask me why I'm in here?"

I shrug. "Well, now you've brought it up..."

He grins again as we push open the glass doors to enter the parking lot. He opens his mouth to tell me when I hear a loud, long honk. I look up, surprised to see Kakuzu's (I think) black Hummer. "Uh, I think that's my ride -see ya, man," I say, starting to walk toward it.

"Hey, what about us?" Tenten asks. "We were talking to you longer."

I consider pausing to say that I wasn't referring to a male when I said "man", just over-indulging in a speech habit that I really should drop considering I picked it up from a crazy, selfish drunk bitch, but Kakuzu is honking again, so they wouldn't be able to hear me anyways. Plus, I know of Kakuzu and his insistence that if someone makes him honk three times he'll run them over when they approach the car. He's not kidding, either -I saw him to it to Hidan the other day. Fucking hilarious.

I open the front door and climb in. "Hey."

"Hurry up next time."

"Tch." I slam the door and he speeds off. "Aren't we just a ray of fucking sunshine?"

"Shut up or I'll kick you out of the car."

I snort. "Doubt it. Unless Leader's making you you wouldnt've came at all, man."

He glares at me.

I smirk but blige to shut up, as technically I won the argument, and Kakuzu is...well...scary. I opt to skim the Anger Management brochure on the drive back, using the light from the glove compartment. Here's what's on the front:

_Our programs address the needs of individuals and families who have experienced one or more of the following:_ _Abuse or neglect, family disruption, crisis or conflict, domestic violence, mental health problems, substance abuse, juvenile delinquency, truancy or other school-related problems, homelessness, job loss or other challenges of life. _Bitch, please. Try all of the above. Between me and my parents, we've got it all.

I skip down to the "Group Meetings" section: _Each participant of the Anger Management __Program will be seen for an initial __assessment prior to participation in the __program. The group is facilitated by highly __trained professionals. The group meets for 2 __hours once a week for 12 weeks._

Ah, fuck me. I guess today's meeting counts as my "assesment", which means I'm going to have to go back there twelve more times. Two hours a week for three months? Goddammit. You're fucking welcome, Hinata, grow some lady balls already!

I scowl and tuck the pamphlet away in the pocket of my leather jacket, looking up through the window to see we're a few blocks away from my house. Man, this sucks _ass. _How come out of the entire Akatsuki, _I'm _the only one who got nailed for my rage issues? I mean, pretty much everyone has Anger Management issues. If just bitch-slapping a kid in front of a cop is grounds for Anger Management (no offense meant to Temari, of course), how the hell are none of them here?

Wait. "Hey Kakuzu?"

"I thought I told you to shut up."

"Yeah, well, I'm choosing to ignore you. Anyways, can't you or Sasori just hack into their files or whatever and-"

"Actually, yes we could."

"Well dandy! So-"

"But we won't."

I pause. "Why the _fuck _not?!"

"Leader believes a few sessions would do you good," he replies, and I can hear the smirk in his voice if I can't see it through his mask. "We'll probably get you out of there in a few weeks."

"That is some motherfucking bullshit, man!"

"It's no use complaining about it to me. Besides, I wasn't kidding about-"

"Killing me, I know," I mutter irritably. "I love that you've made about three death threats so far and _I'm _the one in anger management."

"The feeling is mutual."

"Man, fuck you."

* * *

><p>"Hey Mari!" Joseph calls when I moodily make my way into the living room.<p>

"Learn anything, hm?"

"Yeah, I learned that you're a Tinkerbell-looking, girly-hairded fuck."

"So, that's a no, un."

"I guess it is, man." I stomp into the kitchen, annoyed, my heart set on some kind of snack food.

"Come on, Mari, do you gotta insult him for no reason?" Joseph asks casually, sashaying into the kitchen. "He was just asking you how it was."

"I'm used to it, un," Deidara calls.

I glare slightly a Joseph. "He had some kind of a malicious intent, man, I know it."

Joseph rolls her eyes. "You know this for a fact?"

"Yes."

"This I'd love to hear."

"He's _Deidara, _enough said, man."

"Your trust issues are as bad as your anger issues, un."

Lacking a coffee mug to throw, I flip him off. He grins at me.

Anger rises up behind my eyeballs, but I don't want to give him the satisfaction, so I turn to resume my search for snacks. "Issues, schmissues. We all have 'em, man."

"Point taken." He pauses, then suddenly says -in an unusually happy-sounding voice- "Hey, let's do something fun this weekend, whaddaya say, hm?"

"Define 'fun'."

"Something other than video games and shooting people, un."

"That sounds suspiciously like a date, man."

"It does, doesn't it?"

"Let's not and say we did."

"Tough Girl-"

"_No." _I grab the near-empty box of white cheddar Cheez-its and stomp out. _Fun, _I think. _It's been a while since I did something out of the house. Maybe I shoulda said yes. Deidara can be cool when he's not making fun of me. _Only I know he'd be annoying as he always is. Or would he, if I made any kind of effort to be pleasant? I decide it's not worth my pride to try and find out. Still, I realize that his his presence isn't as...provoking as it used to be. It used to feel like acid on my skin, pins and needles when he spoke, when he was near. Now it just feels like it's burning. He is fire that threatens to burn until there's nothing left of me but ashes.

Fire isn't so bad. That is, until you get too close.

But whatever. Maybe me and Joseph can do something...

* * *

><p><strong>Joseph<strong>

I make an apologetic face. "Better luck next time."

Deidara rolls his eyes. "Don't jinx it, un." He casually takes out a bit of white clay, molding it into some kind of animal. Hope that's not detonating cl- no, wait, it's got the brownish hue. It's normal stuff. He gives me an irritated look. "Can't you talk her into it or something? I thought you were gonna make it easier, un."

"What the hell do you expect me to do?" I reply, vaugely irritated with him.

"So do the chick thing, un."

"What 'chick thing'?"

"The thing where you talk to her and she changes her mind, un!"

"...God, you're stupid."

"Hey, un!"

I inspect my nails, frowning. "I'll see what I can do. You just try not to irritate the dogshit out of her every waking second, got it?"

"Hmph."

"And it might take a while, so don't be bugging me."

"Fine!" He snaps.

I have to smile as he leaves huffily. _Damn, he__'s got it bad._

* * *

><p><em>"<em>I said _dodge." _

I duck as best I can. "I _heard _you!" I snap, taking a hit to the side of the head.

"So do it."

I snarl, redoubling my efforts and trying to restain myself from striking back, as is my instinct. I know I shouldn't allow it to get to me, but hey, _you _try getting punched again and again, being told only to "dodge" to counteract it. Especially considering that I _know _he's holding back. I can handle not being as strong as someone, but the idea that someone is deliberately taking it easy on me, like I'm some kind of invalid, bugs the shit out of me. Even if it's Itachi, one of the best fighters I've ever known.

I envision my frustrations being sent into my tired, burning arms and legs, fueling their quick movement, and concentrate on dodging. Once his fist is pulled back slightly, I have split seconds to determine where it's headed and how _not _to be there. My initial instinct is to throw up an arm to block the coming blow, but when I do that he just holds on to it and twists. _Ow. _I learned quickly to evade rather than try to protect my face.

Fist coming from the right- for my stomach- move to the left and it hits my ribs- now from the left, move backward- for my cheek, duck- from above, lunge to the left, fall, scramble up and get hit again-

Sitting still means pain. Moving means pain. Blocking means pain. Losing means pain. Winning is inconceivable, so just keep moving, and hope the pain might forget to follow-

"Nng-!" I grunt as his fist connects into my stomach, and I lose my breath. He pauses as I clumsily stumble backwards.

"Are you alright?"

"..._Hell _no!" I manage to snap, angrily, glaring. "Do I..._look_ alright?

"Pardon me. I meant, are you finished?"

I pant, doubled over. Damn that fucking hurt. But even though my body hurts, I still feel this burning feeling in my gut. I don't know why, but if I walk away now I know it'll die, and I'll feel empty, left alone with the darkness and cold- I stand up fully, moving before he does. This gives me the smallest of advantages, and I dodge quicker this time, my fuse is lit now, and I'm not leaving until something in me explodes and is in peices. Irredeemable. Until my muscles refuse to obey, I'm not finished.

_Till the roof comes off, till the lights go out_

_Till my legs give out, can't shut my mouth._

Keep moving. Keep running. Don't stop.

Till the smoke clears out - am I high? Perhaps

_I'ma rip this shit till my bone collapse._

Until I collapse, I'm going to keep moving, and running, and- You know what? No.

The next time he aims a punch , I throw an arm out to block again. He grabs my arm and begins to twist in the same instant that I kick at his knee. He blocks it, but that makes his grip on my arm loosen and I wrench it free. Fueled by adrenaline and instinct, I lash out first, toward his gut. Miss; my fist hits palm. He grabs my wrist. I twist my arm around, protect my midrift with my elbow, and kick toward his stomach again. My foot connects to his hip, not as hard as I'd intended, but I do hit him.

We spar for a minute or two. I'm too tired and moving too quickly to be frustrated that I can't gain the upper hand; I just fight, my mind losing ground to instinct. In this place fear doesn't own me. Pain has no control. Fighting, I'm almost free.

This bizarre dodging exercsise morphed into a sparring match ends when Itachi sends me sprawling toward the ground. I hit my back hard enough to lose my breath, and have difficulty standing up.

"_Now _we are finished."

I get to my feet, winded, and look up. His face reveals nothing. His eyes hold approval.

I smile in between breaths, and follow him inside.

* * *

><p>"You know what, Mari? We should go clubbing," Joseph tells me matter-of-factly later that night. "This weekend."<p>

I look over my shoulder at her curiously, having been absorbed in my book. "Clubbing? Like, to bars?"

"Yeah."

"We're underage."

"So? I can get fake I.D.s easy. Come on, it'll be fun!"

I bite my lip. "You know I'm not a big drinker, man."

"Oh, don't be a sourpuss. You know, we didn't even celebrate your fifteenth birthday, did we? Consider it a late birthday party."

"I don't know, man...it depends if Leader's got a mission for us."

Joseph grins. "Doubt it. But you'll come if you can, right?"

"I don't know. Probably. Got nothing better to do, I guess."

"Cool."

* * *

><p><strong>:D So happy to get to update soon! And hey, things may seem pretty slow right now, but not to worry! They'll pick up soon! All these scattered ideas in my mind are starting to fall together in a way that doesn't suck! I'm so excited to write them, it's pretty much all I've been doing...<strong>

**That, and we only have internet at my house for another week, so I'm trying to get as much done online as I can between now and then.**

**Reviews make me happy, guys -_take the hint. _Anyways, thanks for reading!**

**-amy out**


	40. Cheers!

**Guess who's back, back again, Amy's back, tell a friend!**

**Hellloooo fanfiction! Ungroundedness is sweet! **

**Lyrics from Na Na Na by My Chemical Romance.**

* * *

><p><strong>Joseph<strong>

Where the fuck r u Dei? I text frantically under the table, glancing up furtively to see Mari's still ordering our drinks. I hit 'Send' and then scowl at my phone. Jesus, it's hard enough playing Matchmaker when the subjects actually _show up. _But no! After all the trouble I went through to coerce Mari into 1) attending a bar with me and 2) wear her hair down _for once, _now this total _loser _can't even...

I tuck my phone back in my pocket, fuming, as Mari comes back with our drinks. Un-fucking-believable. He's been badgering me for _days _trying to get me to arrange something, and now...Grr.

"This is so weird," Mari mutters, pushing my beer toward me.

I open the bottle and take a drink. "How's it weird?"

"I don't know. There's people, and...that guy's _looking_ at me, man!" she complains, glaring.

I follow her eyes, then look back at her and grin. "That means you look hot. See how good things can be when you wear girl clothes, Mari?"

"Shut up," she mutters, drinking from her can of..._soda? _

"What the hell are you drinking?"

She gives me a 'you're-a-dumbass' look. "A Dr. Pepper?"

"Mari," I sigh, resting my head on two fingers, "we're in a _bar. _You're supposed to drink _alcohol." _

She huffs. "No thanks. Last time it didn't go so well."

"It went well for Deidara."

I dodge a flying ashtray. "Hey, chill! So what, you're not gonna drink anymore?"

She shrugs. "I don't really see why I should need to. It doesn't make you have more fun, it just makes you dizzy and stupid."

I snort. "Yeah, and you've really got the whole 'stupid' thing down sober, haven't you?"

"Yup." She takes a long drink of her _non-alcoholic _beverage. Man, she's impossible. If she's had a few drinks in her I've got a feeling I'll be more quickly forgiven for my, ehm, _plans. _Yes, that's plans in the plural. I'm on a roll tonight.

Which reminds me. "You kind of fail at being a teenager lately, Mari."

"What, because I don't want to become a drunk loser?" She leaves "like our parents" unspoken, but the implied words hang above our heads along with the cigarette smoke from the table over.

"No..." I say, shaking my head slowly. "Because you won't...explore new horizons."

I see her face harden, but press on, saying quietly, "Just give him a shot, Mari."

"I don't want to talk about this, man."

"Why not?"

"Because it's stupid!" she snaps, setting her drink down and leaning forward angrily. "It's stupid and pointless! We've been over this, Joseph. Things like that...only lead to hurt," she finishes, looking down, sounding oddly broken.

My mouth twists. "You sound pretty sure, for someone who's never even given it a decent shot."

"_I saw our parents, Joseph! _How could I want to give _that _a shot?" she demands. "How could _you?" _

I lean forward as well, meeting her challenge, and give her the same answer I gave myself years ago, when I wondered the same thing. "I won't let fear rule my life, even if it means getting hurt. And I don't want it to rule yours, either."

She scowls. "It doesn't."

"Coulda fooled me."

Her fingers tighten on her can as she hides a snarl by taking a long drink. She puts her drink back down on the table, smacking her lips appreciatively, and says in a much more casual voice, "Whatever, man. Let's not talk about this tonight. We're supposed to be having fun, right?"

I sigh, knowing that pressing the subject will only push her further away. "Fine." Just then my phone beeps, and I read the message under the table:

I got held up, alright? Blame Tobi. How long are you guys staying?

I nearly growl at the phone in frustration as I type my reply: A few hours. So get your ass over here!

"Who're you texting, man?"

"Hidan," I lie.

"What does he want?"

Time for phase two. "...He wants to know if you're onstage yet." I grin at her look of confusion. "I told him you weren't."

"Onstage?" she asks, confused.

I tilt my head. "...Did I mention I signed you up for karaoke?" I ask casually.

Her chin nearly hits the table. "_What? _NO, you _didn't _mention that, man!" she snaps hotly.

"Well now you know," I reply, snickering. "You're number 24."

Mari gapes as I drink a little more of my beer and number 21 finishes butchering a Ke$ha song. Finally she finds her voice and sputters, "...The _hell?" _

"Oh, don't be that way," I chide.

"You can't just sign me up for shit without telling me, man!"

"Can't I?" I grin mischievously. "Don't tell me you have stage fright all of a sudden."

Mari glares. "Jesus, you're..."

"A genius?" I suggest helpfully.

"_Psychotic!" _she spits back.

I roll my eyes. "What's _psychotic _about wanting your best friend to have some fun for once? No, Mari- listen!" I cut her off when she opens her mouth to retort. "You don't do anything anymore except stress about homework and bills and missions. You're fifteen, for chrissake -don't you still want to be a singer someday?"

She snorts. "Like I've got a shot! I'm in the Akatsuki, remember? For life."

I narrow my eyes, staring her down. "Did I just hear my best friend give up?" I ask quietly.

Her eyes narrow, meeting my challenge with a silent stare. I stare back. It's one of those silences that say a million things without words.

"Number 23!" the guy onstage calls.

Mari glances at him, then back at me.

She grins. "Right here, man!"

I grin back at her as she jumps up and the man onstage motions for her to come up. "Break a leg!"

"Break a neck," she tells me, but she's smiling. She jumps out of her chair and starts to saunter toward the stage. I dig out my phone for another text. U gon miss the show, Dei!

What show?

Mari's singing, I type as my eyes dart between my phone and Mari's conversing with the guy onstage.

The music's already started when I get Dei's text back: She any good?

"_The future is bulletproof!_

_The aftermath is secondary,_

_It's time to do it now and do it loud..."_

I ponder this for a moment. I'll video it. Don't reply.

I punch buttons on my phone, selecting video and holding it up over the table as Mari sings, "_I'll be your detonator! Love, gimme love, gimme love, I don't need it..." _

I grin as I watch my best friend sing, getting into the song. As much as she might try to act all hard and untouchable during regular life, as soon as the music comes on the act melts. She's grinning and gripping the microphone like she was born with it in her hands, moving her body in time with the music. Her voice sounds smooth, excited and alluring, rising over the general din of the bar as several people turn to watch her performance.

Yeah, I think I'm forgiven. I smirk. No matter what she might say, I can tell she loves the attention. Man, how does she do that? I wonder if Mari was born without the ability to feel fear. Or I would, if I didn't know what things she _is _afraid of.

_"Keep your apology, give us more detonation!" _she sings. I glance at the phone. Yep, camera's still rolling. "_Remember when you was a madman?_

_Thought you was Batman!_

_Now hit the party with a gas can,_

_Kiss me you animal!" _

I glance at the owner of the bar, pleased to see he's smiling slightly at her. Mari doesn't notice, but I do. The man who believes me to be Mari's manager catches my eye. I raise an eyebrow, nodding toward my best friend.

He grins and gives me a dorky thumbs-up.

I grin back, restraining myself from doing a dorkier victory dance with difficulty. _I, am the world's awesomest best friend in existence, I think smugly._

_"On my authority! Na, na na na na na na, it's death or victory!" _Mari sings, and I can see the fire in her eyes from all the way over here. She is now entirely carried away. I snicker to myself. She looks a little stupid, but she manages to pull it off well, and effectively rock the _fuck _out of the song. The 'outgoing' outlook is better for her than the 'antisocial' one, I think. _"Crash and burn, young and loaded! _

_Na na na na na na na, drop like a bullet shell, _

_Na na na na na na na na, just like a sleeper cell,_

__Na na na na na na na na, I'd rather go to hell__

__Than be in, purgatory,__

__Cut my hair, gag and bore me,__

__Pull this pin, let this world explode!" __

I cheer enthusiastically along with the other half the bar. I hear one guy shout for an encore. Mari grins again, sets the microphone down, gives a smartassed bow, and then jumps off the front of the stage, grinning from ear to ear.

I frantically hit 'Stop'. 'End'. 'Contacts'. Scroll to 'Deidara'. 'Send Media'. ' Recorded Video'. I type, Don't expect much, audio's shitty. I hit 'send' just as Mari plops into her chair next to me.

I smirk. "Now, that wasn't so bad, was it?"

She laughs. "Man, that was awesome! I forgot how great it is to perform, _damn_ what a rush!"

Just then I see the owner of the bar making his way toward us. "That's great, Mari, listen- I lied to you."

She blinks, thrown off. I press on before she can interrupt. "That wasn't karaoke, it was a tryout."

"...Huh?"

"For a _job, _smartness, and judging by how that guy's heading over here, I'll bet you got picked."

Mari's mouth is agape, at a loss for words. "..._H__uh_?"

So articulate, Mari. "I told 'em I'm your manager," I go on, lowering my voice as he approaches. "He's coming over here, I'm gonna settle the deal."

"Wait wait wait, what do I do, man?" she answers, sounding like she still hasn't quite caught on.

"Nothing. Just stand there and look pretty."

She gives me a dirty look, but can't retaliate because the owner finally approaches, smiling at Mari. "You did good."

"Um...Thanks, man."

"How long have you been singing?"

"Um...years."

Oh, _god. _Let's try for a full sentence eventually, yes? I elbow her in the ribs and take over before we come across as a couple of total idiots. "Music's everything to her," I add impressively.

"I see." He nods, then sticks his hand out to Mari and she shakes it. "My name's Doug. Let's talk buisness, shall we?"

"Sure."

"Cool. Tell ya what, if you can show up here and sing on Friday and Saturday nights, I'l pay you ten dollars an hour for your troubles."

"Sure!" Mari agrees enthusiastically. I consider elbowing her again -we should've tried to hold out for more money, dammit!- but Dei texts me just then. Can barely hear it, it's all shaky.

Be here in person next time, then, I reply as Mari and Doug talk.

I look up as Doug nods pleasantly. "Alright, girls, it's a deal. Mary-"

"Mari."

"-Mari," he amends. "I look forward to working with you." We all shake hands again, and he leaves.

Mari slowly turns toward me, looking flabbergasted. "Did you just-"

"Yep."

She blinks again, then shakes her head. "Man, I don't know whether to be thrilled or pissed off..."

"Go with thrilled. It'll be easier on everyone's ears."

She shoves me, but not hard, breaking out in a grin. "Holy _shit, _Joseph!" she screeches.

"I know!" I laugh. I pick up my beer and point to her soda. We clink them together. "Cheers!"

* * *

><p><strong>And once again, Joseph demonstrates her ability to simutaneoulsly be the best and worst friend you'll ever have...<strong>

**I know this is short, but I want to update _immediately. _**

**_Finally _got my hair dyed like Mari's! :D This time for real. I'll post a picture _if I can._**

**__Also, check out Angels, Devils and iPods, which has also been updated.**

**-amy out**


	41. The Calm Before the Storm

**Sorry for the wait -figured it's about time I got my lazy ass in gear, huh?**

* * *

><p>Now, you're going to be a little shocked by this, but...are you ready? Hold onto your hats, people, here it is:<p>

After my belated fifteenth birthday "outing", I had an extremely enjoyable, productive, and in no way torturous couple of weeks. I even forgot to hate everything and everyone for a while! In some ways, it even bordered on...dare I say it...normality.

Yeah, I know, I didn't believe it either, but that's the truth. And though I hate to admit it, it was thanks almost entirely to Joseph. (But don't tell her I said that.)  
>Here's the thing most people overlook about her: Yes, Joseph is manipulative, sadistic, boy-chasing, underhanded, and almost scarily adept at getting her way. However, at the same time, that girl is loyal. It's a trait we both share. While she's not above manipulating me any more than I'm above punching her lights out, I trust her because we've known each other since childhood. We've suffered through bad home lives together, survived beatings together (back in elementary school), planned world domination together, became closer than sisters. I know without a shadow of a doubt that she cares about me. No matter how she chooses to operate, the things she does are either to protect herself or the people she cares about.<p>

Anyways, once I'd had a few drinks, resulting in an overall good mood, she'd explained fully what she'd done and why, and although I was momentarily pissed at her underhandedness, overall I had to restrain myself from glomping her. She'd gotten me a job! As a singer! I don't know when or how or why she decided this was worth her time and effort, but it's a fair guess that she thought I was becoming too stressed or depressed or something, and thought that this was a good way to remedy that. Maybe she's even entertaining some notions about my long sought-after music career taking off through her actions. Of course she's wrong; Leader wouldn't allow anything like that to take place unless it would benefit the Akatsuki one way or another.

Oh yeah! Speaking of Leader, I don't know what Joseph did, but the next day I was surprised to see Leader march into the living room which was being occupied by several off-duty members of the Akatsuki- and stand in front of me, arms crossed.

I looked up from my argument with Hidan to wait for orders. I had only got so far as wondering why, if this was about a mission, he was directing me instead of Itachi, when he spoke in a toneless voice, "Your associate informed me of your new employment."

I blinked. "'Associate'? You mean Joseph, right?"

He ignored me. "It is acceptable. However, if it in any way interferes with your duties as an Akatsuki, you are expected to terminate it without hesitation."  
>"...Sure thing, man. But-"<p>

He was already leaving, returning to his lair -oh, excuse me, _room_. Which of course, left me with the necessity of explaining my new 'employment' to those around to hear; namely, everybody except Zetsu, Pain, Konan, Kakuzu, Joseph, and Kai. I considered lying about it, but what harm could it do? After some initial surprise, no one really seemed to care. Deidara commented that it was about time I invested some effort into my so-called art if I ever hoped it to compare to his (not that he thought it ever would), resulting in an argument between us on the grounds that rock music is the height of art and expression and also that Deidara is a narcissistic pyromaniac jerk, which grew to encompass Sasori as well on the grounds that true art was eternal beauty and neither of us idiots knew what we were talking about, and then Kisame on the grounds that we were all a bunch of art-obsessed morons and why didn't we shut up already.

It, of course, went downhill from there. It's one of the many impressive things about the most ruthless gang in Konoha that we show our friendship mainly by arguing at all hours of the day.

Anyways, as I said, for a matter of weeks things went well for me. I sang at the Rotting Branch (the name of the bar, and don't ask me why, they didn't consult me when they made the stupid name) twice a week for a nice little profit. There was no trouble from Moegi and Company at school; in addition, I was able to get a bit of a better grip on my schoolwork, and give Team Baka the overall impression that they needn't worry about me.

When it comes to missions, they actually haven't been that worrying. With Itachi's brutal training (damn him) I'm swiftly gaining strength. Being a girl, I'll never have the same brute strength the rest of them have, but Itachi has showed me that there are many useful combat strategies that can overcome that. I swear, it's scary how many martial arts techniques the guy has mastered! He really is like Bruce Wayne. Anyways, I'd estimate myself to be almost as capable in combat as the rest of them; no more damsel-in-distress situations for me. The other night I pummeled the crap out of four Oto who tried to jump me at once, it was the coolest! But I'm getting off track. Anyways, the war between Akatsuki and Oto is going reasonably well. I'm not really consulted when it comes to strategies, but I make a point to gather information (read, bug Itachi for information) enough to know that we've pushed Oto back onto the defense, where they belong, those sorry fuckers.

Unfortunately, it seems the further we push them, the more underhanded tactics they seem to be using. I actually came across a trio of middle schoolers, twelve-year-olds, armed with guns they barely knew how to shoot, looking downright terrified. I guess I'd been hoping Hidan was making that up or something; kids that young don't belong in combat, and I don't like fighting them. It was almost sad how easily I knocked two of them out while Itachi interrogated the other one. The poor kid sang. I could tell he wanted to break down and cry, his voice shaking and face pale. Apparently they only joined in order to gain Orouchimaru's protection for their families; I don't even want to go into the things Oto threatens people with in its jurisdiction. Remembering Kai's troubles with them, I became uneasy. I addressed the problem by bugging Itachi until he consented to convince Pain to order Tobi to train Kai somewhat. Of course, Kai isn't being given the grueling, exhausting, excruciating, carefully-constructed-to-push-Mari's-body-to-the-absolute-limit Itachi version of training. No, he's just being taught -via the idiot known as Tobi- basic martial arts. Kai was in no way discreet in voicing his opinion that I was an overbearing, worrywart jerkhead sister to push him into training when he was already tired all the time from football.

Oh, yeah, football! Man, you'll never believe how good the kid is at it! I've already been to one of his games early on a Saturday morning (Deidara, being the only willing volunteer, gave me a ride. More on that later) and damn, I cheered so long and so loud that my throat hurt. Deidara, who attended the game alongside me, had plenty to say about that. He complained that he thought I did lasting damage to his eardrums. I retaliated by saying that any 'lasting damage' is either a result of years of blowing shit up, or being dropped on his head as a child. He laughed and pushed me on the shoulder.

Hard.

...I nearly fell.

It hasn't escaped my attention how differently he seems to be acting. That, or I'm acting differently. I can't even really pin it down to any one thing. One example is, when he teases me, it's with less overall malice. Like, he's genuinely just messing with me, instead of sadistically trying to drive me insane. It's a nice change, although it kind of takes me off guard sometimes when I'm deliberately trying to hate the world and be as bitchy as possible in hopes of being left alone. For some reason whenever I do that, he finds it hilarious and pulls closer when I push away. I really don't understand him...probably my 'entertainment value' has something to do with it. Anyways, despite myself I'm starting to feel a bit...friendlier with him, for lack of a better word. Actually 'less guarded' is probably a better way to put it. After everything that's happened between us, I don't think I'm ever going to look at him and not think "Danger". Still, though, danger has become such an unavoidable part of my life, it's become as familiar as my own name. The instinct I have that he's to be avoided doesn't bother me as much anymore. Besides which, we've known each other for almost five months now, lived together, fought together, and shared some overall hilarious times (although those stories are nothing I look forward to telling around a campfire, that's for sure). It's kind of hard to fully hate someone after all that.

Not that I'd admit it, least of all to him. I can barely admit it to myself.

At any rate, I've become uncomfortably aware that the number of people on my "Friends, Aquaintances or Allies" has grown to encompass more people than ever before. Moving beyond just Joseph, now there's Team Baka, the Akatsuki, a few co-workers at the Rotting Branch, even some people I met in Anger Management. I really feel like if I was to suddenly die here and now, a large group of people would both know and care. It's an unusual feeling. I can't pretend that I don't enjoy feeling widely accepted, even liked, but it also makes me nervous. The more people who like you, the more people you might like, the more people you might end up caring about; the more people you care about, the more likely it is that you'll get hurt. Still, though, it's nice to have people I actually talk to. More and more often I find my trusty iPod tucked in my pocket instead of being used as the escape from reality it's been for the past few years.

Temari, Kiba, Tenten, and I often end up sitting together and joking around during the Faggot's reigns of terror, walking out together, getting to know each other better. Temari is, coincidentally, the big sister of Naruto's friend Gaara, and has both a wicked sense of humor and an almost Joseph-ish air casual confidence to her. Tenten, while on the surface seems a bit bland, also reminds me of Joseph in that she has a serious obsession with weapons of all shapes and sizes. In fact, we've already determined her house as THE place to be during a zombie apocalypse.

Kiba, now there's an interesting case. Apparently he's decided the same about me since seeing me in Anger Management, as he always seems to be around these days. After I get past my initial suspicion I have of just about anyone, he's pretty cool to be around. He has Naruto-like levels of energy and, at times, idiocy; he's hot-tempered, loud, and a little obnoxious, which reminds me of myself; and the fact that he sits with Team Baka, goes to Anger Management, and frequents the Rotting Branch cements his role as Overall Bro.

Yes, at seventeen, he frequents a bar. Calm down, it's not what it sounds like. His parents own the place; he just goes to hang out and feel all mature and cool. So imagine how surprised he was when he saw me, a mere freshman, as part of the staff.

"Well, I'll be damned, Mari," Kiba had said when I took a ten-minute drink break. "I didn't know they let minors work here."

Shit. I glared at him slightly. "They don't."

He raised an eyebrow. "So..."

I cocked a hop slightly and grinned. "So it's a good thing I'm twenty-one! See, it says so right here on this ID my friend got me," I said, flashing both the ID and, innocuously, my Akatsuki ring. I saw his eyes widen slightly, let him see the cold, hard look in my eyes that I manufactured for occasions such as these, before slapping that big grin back on my face. "So there's no issue. _Right, buddy?"_

He shook his head and laughed. "Oh, come on, you don't think I'd rat you out, do you?"

I smiled back, almost coldly, waggling my middle finger that wore the infamous ring a bit before putting my ID up. "No. I don't."

He laughed again. "You're something else. But nah, you don't need to worry about it. We're buds, you and me," he said, throwing an arm around my shoulder. "Now, since you're so obviously of age, any chance of you ordering me a drink?"

I busted up laughing. "You're alright, man!" I agreed to help him out, still chuckling. I gotta say, I respect him for not flinching under the threat of the Akatsuki. I did the same thing to a few other kids in our school, just to see what would happen, and the results were almost as amusing as they were disturbing. It was like I was going around showing people a swastika or Dark Mark or something. (Harry Potter references for the win.) But anyhow, the two of us have been hanging out more and more. It's nice to have a social life outside of school and performing acts of violence.

But, of course, it being my life, things couldn't be allowed to be this pleasant and easy for any length of time. Oh, no, not at all. See, I think I must've made a habit of punching babies in a past life, because just when things seem well and peachy, bad luck comes knocking on the door.

No, literally. "Hey! Bitch!" Hidan calls through the house.

"Don't call me that, shithead!" I shout back, walking toward him to see what he's shouting about before he causes a big ruckus that wakes Kai up.

"There's some crotchety old bitch who looks like you here!" he calls back obnoxiously.

"Watch who you're calling a crotchety old bitch, you piece of shit," a familiar voice snaps.

I freeze momentarily, eyes widening, before rushing toward the door. No way-

Yes way, apparently.

Standing in my doorway is a middle-aged woman, actually an inch shorter than me, with my build and my complexion, my high cheekbones and dark brown eyes, with thin lips and light brown hair I didn't inherit. She's wearing old raggedy jeans and a T-shirt, smoking a cigarette, standing with her weight on one leg in an altogether too familiar way, and smiling sheepishly at me with a tired old face laced with pain and lack of sleep.

Formerly Ayoko Sui, although she probably goes by her maiden name these days, Ayoko Davia.

_Mom._

"What's up, kiddo."

Still being too shocked to say much of anything, I just stand there blinking, holding the door open and blocking her from entering the house. Mom takes another drag from her cigarette, making the orange fire burn brighter, then slowly exhaling, apparently in no hurry. Finally she says, "Close your mouth and let me in already, man."

This jolts me back to life, and -finding my anger- I slam the door in her face.

And lock the door.

"What the fuck was that all abou-" Hidan starts, before he's cut off by a mighty banging on the front door. I wince and rub my forehead.

"Mari Aiki Sui you open this door right this motherfucking minute!" Mother Dearest snarls from the other side of the door.

"Go away!" I shout back.

"What's going on, hm?"

Oh, good. The blond's here. "My mother decided to show up," I respond over the sound of my former maternal figure trying to break the door down -which, of course, I wouldn't put past her.

The unadulterated shock on Deidara's face is almost unnerving. "Your mother? I thought you said she waas long gone, un!"

"I thought she was, man!"

Deidara took a quick look over his shoulder. "You'd better get her to shut up, un. If Pain finds out-"

"What if I don't care?"

He raises an eyebrow at me, and in the silence we listen to my mom banging on the front door and shouting un-motherly-sounding profanity.

Suddenly he reaches past me and unlocks the door, pulling on the doorknob before I can react. "Dammit Dei-"

"What the hell was that, Mari?!" Mom snaps, pushing the door the rest of the way open. "Look, I get you're probably pissed at me-"

"_Probably_?" I snarl, glaring at her and leaning forward. "You fucking _abandoned_ us-"

"Hi, how are ya, my name's Deidara, un." Deidara pushes me aside and puts his hand forward for my mom to shake, suddenly all charm. "Sorry about that, she's in a bad mood, un. We've been fighting." He grabs me around the shoulders in a sideways-bear-hug, taking advantage of my surprise and confusion to catch me off gaurd, and gives my mom antoher huge grin. "Still, I've wanted to meet the parents for a while now, how are you, hm?"

"HEY!" I shove him away from me, turning my anger toward him. "You stay out of this, man!"

"Wait a second, you've got yourself a boyfriend?" Mom asks incredulously, looking Deidara up and down.

"No!"

"Oh, I forgot, you haven't seen each other in such a long time, you'll be wanting to catch up, un," Deidara goes on, raising his voice to drown me out, nearly shouting. "Don't mind me! There's a nice restaurant a few blocks away, un!"

And with that, the bastard pushes me out the door and starts to shut it.

Oh no you fuckin' don't! I force my steel-toed boot in before the door can shut completely, making eye contact with my fellow Akatsuki member furiously. "What are you up to, man?" I hiss furiously.

He regards me impassively, with a vague sense of amusement. "Whatever this is about, take care of it away from the base. Trust me, family and Akatsuki don't mix, un."  
>He kicks my foot out of the door and, in no uncertain terms, slams it.<p>

Now it's my turn to bang furiously on the door and shout profanity, but Deidara doesn't answer.

"Un, FUCKING, believable!" I rant. "Deidara, you stupid prick, when I get my hands on you-"

"Great guy you're got there, man," Mom adds drily. "Does he always lock you out of your own house?"

I freeze up, take a deep breath, and then turn around, trying to sound cool and collected. "Mom," I say slowly, "what the hell are you doing here?"

She looks back at me coldly. "I'm was here to visit my children. Now I'm here to chew out my ex for allowing you to have boys over at night." She puts her cigarette out on the wall, looking at me sternly. "By the way, where's Kai?"

It takes me a few seconds to process all of this. I quickly come up with a lie. "He's at a friend's. And anyways, I don't want him knowing you're in town," I add meanly. "He's been through enough already."

She meets my glare defiantly. "Don't tell me that drunk has got you brainwashed-"

"That drunk has been missing for three months, man!" I snap, impulsively, forgetting myself, forgetting how vital it is to keep that a secret.

As soon as the words leave my mouth, I regret them. Mom's eyes widen in shock, in horror. "What happened?" she asks, hushed.

I open my mouth, then close it, my eyes hardening and mouth forming a straight line. "You tell me," I finally answer, quietly and with a tangible sense of sadness even I can hear. "He's been gone since the last time you were here. Haven't heard from him once, man."

"Oh my god! Mari-" she reaches a hand up toward my face. I force it away, angry. What right does she have to be understanding, to be comforting? It's all her fault, all of it, every single damn thing!

I can see the hurt in her eyes, and I'm not sorry. After a moment, she sighs, and says quietly, "Come on, Mari. Let's go ahead and go to that restaurant. We've got a lot of things to talk about, don't we?"

I want so badly to say no we don't, I don't have anything else to say to her. However, I know that I can't. I can't risk having her inform local authorities that we're living alone, and I especially can't risk Leader finding out about any of this. Besides, it's not like Deidara will let me in until I get rid of her.

Besides, it's about time someone chewed her out for all the shit she's caused.

I sigh as well, looking out toward the junked-out blue Cadillac she must've drove here. "I guess we do, man."

* * *

><p><strong>As 42 is the meaning of life, I'm going to allow myself to get philosophical and unnecessarily wordy in the closing AN this time. (Don't doubt my logic man, it makes life exceedingly interesting.) If you don't get the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy reference, I demand that you look that book up and read it <strong>**_immediately. _****No one should read my stupid fic before at least the first book of that trilogy.**

**So, as you could probably tell, when I very first started this fic I was mostly just messing around. I'd read a lot of high school OC fics, a HELL of a lot of cliches, and thought I'd write a fic with a lot of the same basic elements (poor girl, rich school, Akatsuki is a gang, hot-tempered personality, love interest with hated Akatsuki, etc.) but write it in a more realistic way; a parody of sorts. See, these fics talk about a lot of things -e.g. gang life, violence, dating, drugs, underage drinking, etc.- that they don't really seem to know much about. I wanted to take this fic a bit deeper; I mean, after I noticed people actually _liked _it and my weird sense of humor.**

**With that in mind, bear with me as we go through the winding road ahead of us, or...something. I don't know.**

**So, this chapter's a bit...different, isn't it? Oh well. I hope you enjoy it. **

**-amy out**


	42. Stand in the Rain

**Okay, In all honesty this isn't my best work, but I really need to move the plot along. :/**

**In other news, I turned fifteen yesterday! :D Yay, now I get to take Driver's Ed and pretend I get to drive around and go places next year!**

* * *

><p>Mom takes a deep breath as the waitress leaves (<em>retreated<em> is more like it -I was kind of giving the Glare Of Death the whole time, after all), in exactly the same way I always do when the other idiots that live in my house keep bugging me and I don't want to lose my shit in front of Kai.

I hate that. I hate that she does things the same way I do. I hate that there's any part of me that mimics her.

I hate her.

"Mari...why don't you explain to me what's been going on?"

I know I'm acting like an immature brat, but for a minute I just sit there, arms crossed. Honestly I don't know if there's anything she could have said that wouldn't have offended me, but that definitely did. "No."

Cue deep breath number two. "And why not?" she asks calmly, so slowly, so understanding...

I narrow my eyes at her. "Mom, cut the shit. I don't know what you were expecting, but you don't get to abandon your family and then come back five years later for a warm, sappy reunion."

The Mom I remember would have snapped back at me, or just ignored me. This time Mom looks me in the eyes with determination instead of anger. "Did your father tell you anything about..."

I snort derisively. "About what? About what gave you the right to suddenly stop giving a shit?" I didn't know I was still so bitter, it even surprises me a little. _Keep your composure, _Itachi would say. _Losing one's temper is a behavior suited only for children. _

_Shut up, you condescending jerk, _I think back at mental-Itachi.

"Mari, I was addicted to meth."

I have to consciously stop myself from dropping my jaw. "You- what?"

Mom takes a deep breath. "I was addicted to meth for about twenty years."

My jaw drops lower. "But...why didn't you...?"

"Because," Mom says slowly, eyes closed, controlling her anger in the way that only a fellow hothead can recognize, "I thought you...had enough burdens, without knowing about drugs at the age of _ten._ I guess I should've trusted you more."

For some reason, my body's started shaking. Why is it doing that? It's like...darkness is closing in...I jabmy fork into the table, pressing down hard, until it passes. I absolutely REFUSE to faint over her.

Mom scratches the back of her head tiredly. "I've been in rehab for six months. Don't worry, though, I'm clean now. Speaking of which..." Mom gives me a suspicious look. "You aren't into anything like that, are you?"

"What?" I glare at her. "I'm not that fucking retarded."

"Hey! Watch your mouth." She glares at me when I raise an eyebrow. "I don't blame you for being pissed, Mari, but I am still your mother."

I roll my eyes, looking away, my brain spinning. Meth? How did I not notice? I rack my brains, remembering how she would be happy and chipper for days at a time, then there would be these huge fights, she'd be throwing things, and other guys would come over...oh my god, it all makes sense... But that doesn't excuse what she's done. I bite my tongue until I taste blood. "So what are you doing here in Konoha?"

"The judge granted me partial custody, a few years back. I got an apartment, small, but I thought you and Kai could start spending weekends. But what about your father..."

I close my eyes, breathing deeply. "Mom...he's been gone for months."

I open my eyes to see my mom blinking back tears. "Do you think he..."

"What? Finally went and offed himself over you?!" I ask, raising my voice in anger.

"Mari, shush!"

I bite my finger, forcing the sickness down.

"We can talk about that later. How have you and Kai been paying the bills? And who are those guys?"

"Mom..." I look away, then look back at her. "They're they Akatsuki. My gang."

"You're in a gang-"

"I didn't want to be, alright!" I reply hotly. "Oto targeted me and Pain decided to recruit me."

"You- why-"

I can tell Mom's flustered, but I can't afford for her to talk to anyone. "Mom, listen -don't go back over there. I mean it, don't. The Akatsuki aren't someone you can run away from. If Leader even knows you're in town...I don't know what he might do."

"What might he do? How violent are these people?!" Now Mom's the one raising her voice.

"Oh, they don't go looking for fights, it's Oto you really have to worry about if you're going to be staying..."

Just then I hear the bell ring as someone enters the restaurant. I look over my shoulder to see- wait, Itachi, what is he doing here?

"Itachi, what-?" I begin, standing up.

He looks at me grimly. "Come on. We're going to the hospital."

I jump up immediately, heart pounding. "Who's hurt? How bad is it?"

My mind's running through, panicking, oh God I hope Hidan's okay, what about Kisame-

"Wait, Mari, what's going on?"

Itachi glances back at my mom. "Who is that?"

"Nobody."

"I'm her mother!" Mom snaps. "Who is in the hospital?"

Itachi stops long enough to meet my eyes, then looks at my mother. "Pardon me, ma'am. You'd probably better come along."

He walks through the front door, us right behind.

"What? Why-"

"It's Kai," Itachi says, jumping lithely into his car. "He was hit by a car."

My eyes widen and for a moment, time slows down. I can't move...my brain can't process it...

"Snap out of it, Mari," Mom tells me, her voice carefully kept serious. "I'll follow you to the hospital."

Finally my mind catches up. I jump and slide over the hood, jumping in Itachi's car to ride shotgun. He starts to pull out immediately, Mom right behind us.

"Hit by a car? Who did it?"

"Tobi and Zetsu are already in pursuit. We suspect Oto's involvement."

For once I'm thankful for Itachi's emotionless demeanor; it helps me to keep my cool. "They quickly determined he was alive and called an ambulance, and then called Leader to report the situation. He sent me to retrieve you; I assume the rest of the Akatsuki are either at the hospital, or helping to find the offenders."

I try to control my breathing. Kai... Kai's hurt...Oh my god, Kai, please be okay, if he's not I swear I'll kill every one of those Oto members...I feel tears welling up and let them fall, drumming my fingers against the side of the car. "How...how badly is he hurt?"

Itachi is silent for a moment. "I do not know."

Oh no, oh no, oh no no no no...I let a stray sob escape my throat and then, finally, bow my head and do something I haven't done in months, out of my own shame and selfishness. _Please, God in heaven,_ I pray through silent tears, _no matter how badly I've sinned against you, please don't take Kai's life...take mine instead, let me die right here and now instead of him..._

* * *

><p>We reach the hospital in record time. I jump out of the car and sprint toward the Emergency Room.<p>

As soon as I get it I see Joseph, Deidara, Kisame, and Hidan sitting in the seats, waiting.

"What happened?" I ask loudly, making the few other people stare. "Where is he? How bad is it?"

Joseph jumps up, hugs me. "Mari, it's...Kai's got a head injury. I heard them say..."

"What?" I push past her, to the receptionist. "Where is he? Little boy, ten years old, black hair, hit by a car-"

"Mari." It's Deidara, pulling me away from the window. "Calm down, un-"

"Don't tell me to calm down!" I shout, succumbing to hysteria. "My little brother's in the hospital!"

"Deidara is right." Itachi must've caught up to me. "You will help no one by panicking."

"Itachi...but...Kai!"

I'm still crying, spiraling, Kai can't be hurt, I won't allow it! Why was he even out at night, it's past eight! How did this happen... I'm not proud of it, but for the next forty minutes I'm completely incapacitated. My mom's the one who gets all the information from the doctors, from my gang members -he's in intensive care with doctors performing surgery, no one knows if he'll live or how bad his injuries were, a doctor said he'd get back to us- as I shuffle through the hospital like a zombie as they relocate us to a hospital room. I sit there, tapping my foot on the floor nervously, staring at the white wall until my eyes lose focus...

"Hey." I look up and it's Deidara, looking a little concerned. "You okay, hm?"

I swallow hard against the lump in my throat. "My little brother is in intensive care. Of course I'm not okay, man."

He winces. "Sorry, un."

"Do you..." I clear my throat. "Was it Oto?"

"We think so. It was a blue car, at least that's what Zetsu said. Danna and Kakuzu are supposed to be tracking them down, I'll bet we'll know the situation by the time we get home, un..."

"Deidara...what if...what if he..." I start breathing deeply, tears welling up.

"Keep it together, Tough Girl." He grips the top of my left hand, encouraging. "Don't you go soft on us now, un."

I nod, thankful, so thankful that he's decided to be helpful all of a sudden.

That's when a door opens, down the hall.

I look up to see a doctor walking toward us. Oh, god-

I jump up and look at him in his white coat, holding a clipboard, looking solemn. Panic rises up in me and I start to shake -oh, god, oh, god... I feel someone stand up behind me, I think it's Deidara, and he's holding my arm from behind, supporting me as the doctor walks toward me. Oh god, please let my little brother be okay...

"You're Kai's sister, aren't you?" he asks me. "The little boy who got brought in earlier?"

I nod numbly, feeling faint.

"Well..." the doctor sighs. "You'd better follow me. Your friends too. Kai has stabilized, but he's in bad shape..."

My heart's pounding like a drum as we follow him into another part of the hospital. Looked through glass windows toward figures with I.v.s sticking into them, oh shit, oh shit, what's going on-

The doctor points to where Kai is.

I stand there, looking in numbly at my unconscious little brother, his eyes closed in sleep, and all background noise seems to fade. Still I hear mom and the doctor trading meaningless conversation, saying words like "custody arrangements", "spinal injury", "non-life-threatening", "physical therapy", but I am only interested in Kai. In how silent he is, how...hurt... I look through the glass at Kai, his eyes closed in sleep. Even from here I can see the bruises and cuts that aren't covered by his clothes or the white sheet on top of him. Needles stick into his veins, a computer monitor beeps a steady rhythm as a green line crosses a screen, proving that Kai is still alive, that he will continue to be, because his injuries are not life-threatening. Kai will make it through this, he will heal completely. He will be safe.

But no thanks to me.

No one says a word, but I can hear the sound of the world collapsing around me. I put my palms up to the glass, leaning as close as I can to my little brother. I failed him. I wasn't there when he needed me, when they grabbed him to take him into that van. The one person on Earth who I'm responsible for, the one person who I swore to protect at all costs. My little brother...

Something breaks inside me. Not quickly, like snapping twig, but slowly and ominously, like a really old oak being blown by the wind. It cracks, sways, considers staying a whole for a split second...and then deteriorates into dust.

I sob, looking down at the ground, gripping the wall I'm leaning against for support as tears start to run down my face. My knees feel weak but I force them to be still, and I force myself to be quiet as I cry, the effort of doing both of these things expending some of the pain welling up in me, threatening to break free and destroy me. When arms wrap around me and pull me close, I don't question them. I wrap my arms around the person, holding on for dear life, burying my face into their shirt and chest, crying freely but silently, my entire body shaking with silent tears. I don't reject the embrace, even though I know it's Deidara. In some distant corner of my mind a red alarm light is flashing, but I ignore it without a second thought, because whatever the consequences of ignoring that warning could be, it could never hold a candle to what's already happened. My body yields toward his completely, pressing toward him, looking for comfort in the way people in pain do instinctively, without question.

The worst part is, it's all my fault, completely and totally my fault that Kai is hurt like this. If I wasn't in Akatsuki, if I'd been able to stay out of trouble, to keep my head down for a few weeks, if I wasn't so fucking proud and selfish that I never even considered it, Oto wouldn't have targeted him in order to get to me (because why else would anyone pull a hit-and-run on a ten-year-old kid?). Even the Akatsuki tried to warn me about this, that I had too much to lose to be getting involved in this kind of thing. And then, just to prove that things can always get a little more excruciating, Leader went and warned me on the night they told me I would have to join, that Kai would get hurt if I didn't move him somewhere else. But I never even considered that. _He needs me,_ I'd thought. Of course he doesn't fucking need me! I know how tough he is! He could survive on his own, without seeing me every day! He probably would've been happier, too.

The reason I didn't consider letting him go somewhere else is entirely selfish. I need him to make me feel like there's some part of me that's not disgusting and horrible. I need him around to make me feel sane, to keep me human, since I seem to be slowly losing the ability to care about any other people. I couldn't stand the idea of losing the ability to care for him. And so I was selfish and insisted he stay with me...and look where he is now.

Agony, shame, pain, excruciating sadness...there are no words I could use that are strong enough. I cry, and I don't stop crying, even though his arms are tightening around me until I think they're holding me there in case I was to try to break free. It occurs to me that I seem to be breaking a lot of promises lately. I promised I would never be seen crying in public again. I promised I would never need someone else to comfort me when something bad happened; I would fight my own fights and win at all costs. I promised I would never, never, never let Deidara hold me the way he is, I would never let myself need him the way I do now, sitting in his lap like a child. And, of course, I would never let something like this happen to my little brother...

_Kai..._

**Deidara**

Was it sick that he liked that she was crying? Well, come to think of it, that wasn't exactly it. He liked that she was crying in his arms, going to him for comfort. He never thought he'd see the day, even if his plan worked, that Mari would go to him for support in a moment of weakness. How devastated must she be inside, that she was allowing this to happen? He'd expected her to push him away, to scream at him, to explode into a rage that would then allow her to calm down and do what needed to be done. But instead, this.

"Shh...it's okay...it's okay," he muttered stupid lies to her, that she almost definitely was ignoring entirely, as he patted the back of her head. He knew he should be feeling sorry for her, thinking how badly he wanted her to be feeling better, but as his since of compassion was nowhere near as acute as it should've been, he wasn't. He was caught up in the feeling of her needing him, even just for this moment, even if just because she was in so much pain she didn't care anymore. He liked it...Which was odd, since before if he'd thought about it, he would've said if a girl ended up somehow crying to him he would've shoved her off and mocked her for it. But this situation was just too priceless, just felt too good, to throw away like that.

He looked up and saw Joseph, glaring at the glass window where lay the injured Kai. He could see the anger in her eyes, her locked muscles, her gritted teeth. His eyes darted to the annoying, yet still endearing young boy, and slowly his narrowed as well. Anger started to build up in him at what those shameless Oto bastards had done. Sending some bastard to hit a nine-year-old, under the protection of the Akatsuki by default, in a cowardly attempt to weaken them at all costs? No...they would pay.

He made slow eye contact with every other Akatsuki here, even as he comforted Mari as her body shook with sobs. Oto would pay.

* * *

><p><strong>Sasori <strong>

So, this was the culprit. The incredibly foolish girl who had hit the young child under the Akatsuki's protecting with her car. They still didn't know whether it was an accident or not -the culprit, of course, was insisting hysterically that it was- but the Akatsuki's philosophy was "guilty until proven innocent". Besides, the girl was known to have connections in Oto, to be prone to things like this.

Sasori did not envy her fate.

But on a deeper note, somewhere in him he dimly recognized a feeling of indignation. Sasori was under no illusions as to his place in Pain's "greater good" philosophy. He was not an idealist. He was in the Akatsuki because it benefited both him and Leader to be so. Besides which, he didn't like his idiot partner's chances without someone to tell him a good idea from a bad one.

But this...this was different. Sasori had never approved of the things Oto did towards children; it went beyond business. It was sick, unnecessary, and wasteful. And now, Oto had made the fatal mistake of making things _personal. _

He crossed his arms, watching as Zetsu dragged the girl into their headquarters, where she awaited interrogation and surely death. He closed his eyes, shook his head.

This was going to be messy.

* * *

><p><strong>The other day my pre-AP English teacher told me the stories I turned in lacked, and I quote, "plot, foreplanning, and depth". She also took fifteen points off an essay for neatness. I am now making a C in English.<strong>

**The author in me died a little inside.**

**Review!**

**-amy out**


	43. As the World Turns

**Sorry it's taken so long, guys, but I'm doing my best here.**

**I think I mistyped something in the last chapter. To clarify: Kai wasn't jumped, he was hit by a car at night. The Akatsuki found out the girl had relatives in Oto.**

**That's it.**

* * *

><p>"It was an accident! I d-didn't mean to hit him!"<p>

"Shut the hell up," I snap. "You think I care, man?"

The girl starts sobbing. "I was trying to get away from Oto! They say if I don't join up they'll kill me!"

I stay silent, watching her impassively.

"I-I don't know how to drive!" she goes on. "I'm only fourteen, I didn't mean to hurt anyone-"

I take a deep breath. For some reason I can't get angry like I should be. I'm just tired, and sick to the bone of this stupid, idiotic girl being in my house. "The cops are looking for you, you know," I tell her in an emotionless voice. "You're charged with a hit-and-run of a ten year old. Almost put him in a wheelchair. Bitches in prison don't like that, you know..."

She looks at me with teary, pleading blue eyes, face red and tear-stained, covered in snot and grime she can't wipe away because her hands are tied behind her.

I groan. "I don't want to kill you," I say softly.

"Please! It was an accident-"

I kick her in the stomach, shutting her up. "Don't you get it, you stupid slut? It doesn't matter anymore! It may have been an accident, but you're in with Oto! I can't believe anything you say, man."

"Yes you can! Look -you're, you're Akatsuki, right?"

"No shit, Sherlock."

"My big brother, he, he works for Kabuto!" She tells me, mouth going a million miles a minute. "That's why they wanted me to join, but I don't like violence, so I said no, but before that he showed me all kinds of stuff, I can tell you where their headquarters is and where Orouchimaru-sama lives and what he's working on, it's bad, it's why I ran away instead of going to the cops, you have to stop them, I can help you-"

"Shut up already!" I snap, heart racing. "Are you serious, man?"

She nods so hard I think I hear her neck pop.

"Because if you lie to the Akatsuki, you'll regret it."

"I'm not lying, I swear! I'll tell you everything I know."

I stare down at her, trying to think. She's staring at me back unblushingly, looking solemn and earnest. She may just be trying to save her own neck, but if there's even a chance she's telling the truth...

"You sure you're not just trying to save your ass?"

She nods.

I bite my lip, then turn around and lock the door behind me.

I have to find Itachi.

* * *

><p>I hate the smell of hospitals. Antiseptic and sick people. Gross.<p>

I scrunch my nose before opening the door to Kai's room. I'm pleasantly surprised when I see he's awake, playing some video game that Joseph hooked up for him while I was helping Itachi interrogate that dumb bitch.

"Hey, bro."

"Nee-chan!" He pauses the game and looks at me, smiling. "What's up?"

"What's up yourself." I look up at the TV. "The doctors don't care about you gaming all day?"

"Nah. They say it'll help me regain my hand-eye coördination," he replies. "But really there's no problem, the only thing that doesn't work sometimes is my foot but they say it'll get better..."

He's putting on a show of being okay, but I can tell by the cautious way he's moving, by the somewhat off look in his eyes, that he's in pain. I grit my teeth and tell myself to just ignore it. Getting upset won't help him here. "How long are you supposed to be in here?"

He shrugs, then winces so badly I feel like wincing myself. "It's not so bad in here. The food sucks, though."

"Sorry." I stay quiet for a second, then take a deep breath and spit it out. It's now or never. "So, Kai...did Mom visit you yet?"

He nods, slowly, looking troubled.

"Well...she told me she was sorry for everything," I tell him.

"Yeah."

"And...well..." I can feel my throat closing up, and I have to swallow four times before I trust myself enough to continue. "You know it's not really legal for you to live with just your big sister, right, man?"

He closes his eyes and nods again.

"So...Mom is gonna fill out the paperwork that says we're in her custody now, but...Pain won't let me leave."

"So, I'm gonna live with her, and you're not?" he says tonelessly.

"Well it's not really so bad," I say hurriedly. "She promises me that she's gonna watch over you, and I went to Mom's new apartment and it's really nice, in fact it's a lot better than our house and you'll have your own room again and not have to share with me and Joseph and Mom has cable and internet and she's getting a new job and it won't be like it used to be, they won't be fighting and you can call me whenever you want-"

"Mari-chan," Kai cuts me off, smiling sadly. "You're rambling again."

I nod, feeling my eyes tear up. "I just...Mom thinks you'll be safer over there. And so do I, man..."

"I know." Kai looks at me, and I can see he's crying a little too. His voice cracks. "You don't have to feel bad, Nee-chan. I'll be okay."

"I know you will." I wipe my eyes, inwardly shouting that I need to get a hold of myself. "Sometimes I just wonder..."

"Wonder what?"

I shake my head. "Nothing." _Wonder if I need you more than you need me. _"You'll be fine, Kai. I'm not worried about you."

_But if Mom fucks this up, I'm kicking her ass._

* * *

><p>"Everybody having a good time tonight?" I shout out through the microphone.<p>

"Hell yeah!" people shout back, laughing, jostling. I recognize some of the crowd as the Rotting Branch's regulars, while I determinedly avoid the eyes of that Kiba kid who I swear has been at every single one of my shows.

"Alright then!" I shout back, not wanting to spend any more time not singing. It's hard to pretend I'm happy to be here without being able to lose myself in the music. "Next up is Kryptonite by 3 Doors Down, so shut up and listen, kay?"

Someone cheers. I cue the band, then wait for my turn to jump in: "_I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind,_

_I left my body lying somewhere in the sands of time,_

_I watched the world flow to the dark side of the moon,_

_I feel there's nothing I can do, yeah..."_

I sing my heart out, trying to forget everything and everybody except this song. I feel like I'm molding with the music, like it's in my soul. A part of me.

"_I watch the world flow to the dark side of the moon,_

_After all I feel there has to be something to do with you,_

_I really don't mind what happens now or then,_

_As long as you'll be my friend at the end!"_

About half the people are caught up in their own conversations, but I don't care. I love performing, I love music, and I'm going to give a damn good show whether these drunks are paying attention or not.

"_If I go crazy then will you still call me superman?"_

I sing a couple more songs, then jump off the stage to take a break. Predictably, Kiba sidles up beside me when I grab a stool by the bar.

"Nice. That's one of my favorite songs, you know," he tells me, jumping into a chair next to me.

"Really? Which one, man?"

"Whichever one you liked the best," he grins.

I roll my eyes, flashing my fake ID at the bartender. "Can I get one of those bitches' beers?" I ask. "I'm really not in the mood for anything hard."

"That's what she said."

"Shut up, Kiba."

We spend a few minutes trading verbal spars, but I guess Kiba can tell I'm not really into it. "What's wrong, Firecracker?"

I shake my head. "Nothing that concerns you."

"Oh, don't be that way. We're friends, aren't we?"

"Sure, Kiba," I say, exasperated. "Sure, we're friends. But so what? You're not my brother or some kid I grew up with or anything like that. You're not part of my gang, you're not part of my family, you're just some kid I like to hang out with sometimes. That's it."

Given my extreme bitchiness, I expect him to back off, but all he does is raise his eyebrows. "Damn. PMS-ing, are we?"

I take a deep breath, then nod. "Yes, Kiba. That's it. I'm on my period, and that's why I'm like this."

"Bullshit. Something's up."

My Smirnoff gets back and I chug half of it at once. "You have no idea, bro."

"Fine. Forget it, then."

"Fine."

* * *

><p><strong>Deidara<strong>

Deidara didn't know what the hell to do.

It was obvious to him that Mari was depressed. She spent all her time up there in her attic, ever since she found out Kai was going to move in with her mother. Deidara didn't really get it; as far as he was concerned, Mari should be happy that Kai had a safe place to go, and her mom wasn't causing any trouble about her being in a gang. Not that he would say that out loud. Anyways, she was definitely avoiding him. The only ones she seemed to be talking to was Joseph and that damned Uchiha.

Deidara was so confused by that girl. Confused by her behavior, confused by the effect she had on him, making him angry at her and obsessed with getting her to act normally again in turn. What he wouldn't give to see her lose her temper at him, or be sitting in his lap again like that other night...only maybe with a lot less crying this time...

He smiled to himself, staring off into space.

He was very persistent, after all.

Just then, the front door opened, and in walked the Uchiha. _Speak of the devil, un. _Deidara's eye narrowed.

"Hey, Uchiha, un!"

Itachi paused, giving him a condescending look in answer. "Yes?"

"What is it you keep talking to Tough Girl about, anyways?"

"That's none of your concern."

"The hell it isn't, un!" Deidara replied indignantly.

"Please try to reign in your jealousy," Itachi told him. "If you want to know why she isn't speaking to you, the mature thing to do would be to talk to her yourself."

Itachi started to walk away. Deidara glared.

"Why don't you ever try and make a move on her, un?" Deidara asked contemptuously. "We all know you're the only one she talks to. What, you don't like girls, hm?"

Deidara expected Itachi to ignore him, but to his surprise, the Uchiha stopped as he left the room. He paused for a moment, then turned toward Deidara and started at him.

"What, hm?" Deidara asked defensively.

"If you must know," Itachi said quietly, "it's come to my attention that Mari sees me as a combination of the parent, teacher, mentor...and older brother...that she never had. She likely feels similarly about Kisame. Knowing that, it would be...cruel to do such a thing." Itachi paused, seeming to think of something else. "Although you really do make yourself seem insecure, you know."

Deidara was still sputtering as Itachi entered his room, shutting the door behind him.

* * *

><p><strong>Mari<strong>

I breathe heavily, my heart racing as I look around the corner of a building toward my target. It's after dark, flickering streetlights giving a somber glow to this sad little street. A green, unassuming-looking house down the road is one of the ones that bitch that hit Kai said was a target. If she was telling the truth -and I hope for her sake that she was- it should be occupied by a couple Oto, yet this is my first mission on my own. All the 'veteran' members are out on some other big, elaborate mission none of us but Leader knows all the details of. My only part in it, being the newbie, is to secure this house as a last-resort hideout and make sure there are no kids being held hostage there. Funsies.

On the bright side, though, I do have backup.

"Hey, A-O-C, how goes it?" Joseph drawls through her mike.

"Fine, SA, just tell me one last time- you see anything, man?" She's stationed on top of a tall church the next street over with some binoculars and a sniper rifle. She's supposed to be keeping watch on the street and the surrounding area and shoot any Oto on sight. Leader seemed a bit iffy about letting her take part, but Hidan and I both assured him that Joseph is as loyal as any other Akatsuki. A bit begrudgingly, Leader gave her a kind of temporary tattoo of the Akatsuki that will wash off in about a week, indicating that Joseph is an Akatsuki initiate for as long as the tattoo remains on her skin. Really that just means she's allowed to shoot people and (according to official gang hierarchy) she has to do whatever Kakuzu, Itachi, or Konan says, but for some asinine reason Joseph seems really psyched about it. Yeah, sure fun to get to be an Akatsuki _temporarily._

"Nope, nothing. Just keep your head down, though."

I take a deep breath before running across the street, shotgun slippery in my left hand. I duck behind a car, then a fence.

"You look like a little kid playing Ninja Spies."

"Shut up, SA." I peer around the fence, seeing figures through the windows, but unwilling to shoot until I know for sure who they are. "Can you see through the front windows?"

"Yeah. Couple of unarmed guys, twenty-something maybe. Oto's colors, though. Playing cards."

_Damn. _I bite my thumb. The blue and white could be a coincidence; is this a dead end? "I gotta take a closer look inside. When I say go, shatter their windows but try not to kill 'em. I just want 'em scared, got it?"

"Got it. But for fuck's sake be careful Mari."

"You got it, _Mom." _I sneak around to the back of the house, finding to my pleasant surprise that the door is unlocked. Carefully, slowly, cautiously, _quietly, _I slip in through the back door, into the kitchen.

My eyes widen. Well, there's my answer. Equipment and weapons are strewn all over the kitchen table, most of the weapons with Oto's signature blue and white insignia. _Fuck. _Well, this fucks up the plan. Now, if Joseph starts shooting their first move will be to run and here and grab these guns to retaliate. And I can't even radio in to tell her about the new situation because they'll hear me.

_Looks like I have to handle this on my own, _I think grimly. Still, I need to search the rest of the house. I enter a door in the kitchen that's been left open, holding my gun up and checking the four corners of the room like Itachi taught me to.

Nada.

I swallow and open another door, as quietly as possible.

What I see makes me drop my mouth in horror.

Kids. Four of them. Filthy, from head to toe, heads covered in bags. All of them making strangled sobbing sounds that lead me to believe that they're gagged.

I close the door behind me and lock it. Heart pounding, I radio in. "SA?"

"Yeah?"

"They've got four kids tied up back here."

"Holy fuck!"

"Shoot them," I tell her tonelessly.

"I can't."

"What do you mean, man?"

"I can't! They're not in the living room anymore!"

Fuck. _Fuck._ _FUCK_. "Okay then," I reply, thinking fast. There are no windows in here...

"Mari. Mari, hide," Joseph says, suddenly sounding scared. "I think they know you're in there. Shit!"

I hear the sound of gunfire outside. I go into instinctive child-protection mode, dragging the children two at a time into the closet next to the bedroom door.

I hear someone trying to open the locked doorknob. "Hey, Hijo!" the bastard calls. "You lock this door?"

"Nah."

The man swears, then starts banging against the door.

Quietly I kneel on the ground in front of the closet, facing the door, and raise my shotgun.

As soon as the man bursts into the room, I send a round into his chest. Then another, and another, panicking. By the time he hits the floor the room is painted in dark blood, the man convulsing on the ground having nothing distinguishable as a face. The children are making awful, high-pitched screaming sounds and someone's shouting and without a second thought I shoot the other man in the waist.

He falls to the floor, dropping his gun out of his reach. "You...you..." He tries to speak in a strangled voice, pathetically pushing himself away and leaving a blood trail behind him. Blood bubbles out of his mouth, tracing a Joker smile across his cheeks as his tongue flops around in a desperate attempt to get air without breathing in the blood he's coughed up. The wound I made looks more like I stabbed him with needles and daggers, and I'm not sorry. Not now. I will be later, but for now I feel an unemotional desire to see him suffer.

The figures of those four abused, malnourished kids flash in my mind as I shoot him in the elbows and knees, each time making his scream of agony louder and fuller. Finally I shoot him in the face, sending bloody bits of flesh all over the hallway and silencing him forever.

I hear sirens getting closer and return to the closet. I quickly drag the kids out of the closet and cut off their gags so the police will hear them. I leave their hands bound and the bags on their head so they won't recognize me.

Oddly enough, one of them is quiet. A girl. "You. Are you saving us?" she asks in the most strange voice I could imagine from a young girl in this situation; one calm and serious.

"Sure am."

"You're from the Akatsuki." I freeze. "I saw your ring through the bottom of the bag. I never knew the Akatsuki had heroes. Or girls."

I don't know what to say. Finally the little girl says briskly, "Well, you'd better get out of here," she tells me matter-of-factly. "Akatsuki don't get caught, you know."

I agree. I finish cutting off the last child's gag and the collective screams drown out the strange girl's last comment. I race out of the back door and through the alleyway, my mind not lingering on the details of the two mean I've slain so hideously, but on the bizarre calmness of a ten year old held hostage who thought, because of my one act of basic, unspectacular kindness, that I deserved anything like the honor of the word 'hero'.

* * *

><p><strong>Agh. Been a long time, hasn't it? But never fear, AMAYA is here! So, did you like? <strong>

**I'm probably going to wrap up the plot pretty soon. I'm determined to make this fic as good as I can, but quite frankly it's about time I moved on to other projects. In any case, most of all I hope that you guys enjoyed this.**

**Any suggestions as to what should happen next? Any at all? I'm open to suggestions. Extremely.**

**-Amy out**


	44. Rumors and Conspiracies

**Here I am, with another update! Ah, I love summer. I'm hoping to finish this fic up by September. Keep reviewing so as to motivate me to write faster!**

**I went to the dentist last week. I had five cavities. They gave me laughing gas, which by the way, is the SHIT. When I was on it I sincerely thought Loony Tunes was hilariously funny. Anyways, the douchebag dentist told my parents I can't have sugar anymore and especially not cokes, so I'm now going into withdrawal. (I have to eat something junk-food-y when I write for hours or it affects my performance.) I suppose my teeth will thank me thirty years from now. **

* * *

><p>Akatsuki. The name would strike fear into the hearts citezens like her, citezens who know nothing of the gang other than of their vicious nighttime forays. At eleven years old Natalia knew about the source of the sirens that owuld ring through her neighborhood, the source of all the injuries and deaths that littled her streets. The name was cursed by her family, her friends, her parents, newscasters on TV, until it became almost synonymous with terror and violence. Natalia had always assumed that the rumors were true.<p>

"The Akatsuki is a gang of demons. One made a deal with the devil; he got shot but didn't die..."

"They kidnap anyone who wears blue..."

"Their leader thinks he's God, he drinks his victim's blood..."

"The rape all the girls they find..."

"The police are too terrified to intervene..."

And yet, that strange Akatsuki girl ahd saved her. Oto, the gang whose streets she lived on, who had promised to protect her and her familoy in exchange for support, had kidnapped her. And then, as she sat tied up and blindfolded and gagged and silently waiting for something to happen, an Akatsuki member had saved her.

The police showed up only seconds after the mysterious hero had left. Drawn by the sound of the other, hysterical children, theyd found them immediatly. However, at the police station she was the one being interviewed, presumably because she was by far the calmest one of the four. IN a solemn, matter-of-fact voice, she described the kidnapping, the slaps, the rough treatment, the fear. "I was so scared," she told them tonelessly. "I still am."

The police officers exchanged looks of unease. That didn't phase Natalia. She knew adults found her eerie, unnatural even. She was not a typical, emotional young girl. She was analyctical. She was practical. She had a poker face and self-control that many adults would envy. And most of all, she kept her cool and was able to think things through rationally in a bad situation. She lived a hard life, but she didn't think she had ever yet cried, except probably when she was a baby. All babies cry. She could remember screaming and yelling. Laughing and smiling plenty, if not quite as often as others. But tears would never come.

When Natalia got to the part about the Akatsuki hero, her eyes lit up, and she let them. "I saw her ring," Natalia told them. "She talked to me for a little. I told her to leave before you guys came. I didn't want her to get arrested," she explained at the officer's raised eyebrow.

The officers scribbled things down. Natalia thought for a moment. "I hope you guys don't try to arrest her," she added. "Heroes shouldn't be punished."

And thus Natalia had, unwittingly, given the nearby reporter the perfect title for her news article.

Reading it later, Natalia thought it was rather melodramatic. Making her sound like a brave, traumatized victim, the reporter who'd written the article described her with "graceful wispy brown hair" when really it was more stringy and thin, and "pale ivory skin" when really she was overly pale from her hours of shunning sunlight and playing, prefering to read for hours instead. Most annoying was how the idiotic woman had said Natalia's "lip trembled as she described being kidnapped and brutally slapped". Natalia found this extremely irritating. Her lip had never trembled once in her entire life, thank you very much.

Other than that, Natalia was glad the article had come out. She liked the way that asinine reporter had described the Akatsuki girl, an unnamed hero, a friend of the weak and helpless. Natalia didn't mind being referred to as weak and helpless. In that situation, weak was exactly what she had been. No matter that the entire article was sensationalized. Konoha deserved to know, she thought, that the Akatsuki weren't the horrendous villains that their reputation suggested.

Natalia hadn't even thanked her. How ungrateful. How..._unprofessional. _Natalia wasn't in the habit of leaving debts unpaid. She soon decided, with help from the reporter's exaggerated report, that spreading a few positive rumors about the Akatsuki might be an acceptable way to repay the girl. So what if they weren't true? She doubted all the scary ones were true. And on the off chance they _were, _it couldn't hurt to be on their good side, now could it?

She started the rumor-spreading as soon as she got to school. "Yeah, the girl talked to me for awhile," she said nonchalantly when her classmated approached her, cautiously, curiously. "She told me the Akatuski wants to get drugs off the streets."

"The Akatsuki protects women and children."

"The Akatsuki were the ones who brought the Grass Mafia to justice."

"The Akatuski know some shinobi arts. She showed me her chakra."

What truly astounded her was how quickly other children were prepared to believe her tall tales. For the umpteenth time, she marveled at the stupidity of the general population as kids both young and old rushed off to tell their friends, and the stories Natalia had invented, and those wide-eyed children rushed off in turn to chatter to their friends about the merits and crimes of the Akatsuki. Her story was spreading like wildfire. She knew the rumor cycle had come full circle when she started to hear new beneficial rumors that she hadn't started: "Those Akatsuki are tough allright, but I hear they try to only punish the guilty, like vigilantes..."

"One of them pushed my Nii-san down out of the way so he wouldn't get shot in a drive-by..."

"I don't think they're demons. You know the one with the bombs? I saw him laugh, he was crazy but happy. They have to be human..."

Natalia noted all these mutterings with satisfaction. She was a realist, and so didn't necessarily believe in the Akatsuki's benevolence per se. More likely this particular girl just didn't like to see children suffer. Now that she thought about it, it wasn't so much a deliberatly benevlent act as it was a basic, human, unalicious one, but still it merited thanks, by any available means.

She still wanted to know who that girl _was. _Her inborn curiosity gnawed at her day and night. _You saved my life, _she thought to the phantom girl, _and I never even saw your face. _The only real clue she had as to who she was, was the overheard radio transmission between the girl and some other third party: _"SA?"_

"Yeah?" It sounded like a girl's voice.

"They've got four kids tied up back here."

"Holy fuck!"

"Shoot them." The girl's tone was solemn and sure. Natalia respected it.

"I can't."

"What do you mean, man?" Now she sounded panicked. Human.

"I can't! They're not in the living room anymore!"

"Mari. Mari, hide. I think they know you're in there! Shit!" Gunshots outside.

That's the part that held Natalia's attention. Apparently in the panic of the moment, SA had forgotten to use code names. Could 'Mari' be her rescuer's name? Could she really have gotten that lucky?

Natalia remembered the two-second glance at the kanji on the girl's ring when she'd stilled to listen for those men in the house, her hand directly under Natalia's bag in her very small range of vision. As soon as she'd gotten her hands on a pencil and scrap of paper she'd scribbled the kanji down; one thing she prided herself on was her near-photographic memory. Her kanji was a bit rusty, but she could tell it wasn't for "akatsuki". Could the two-character kanji mean something personal to 'Mari'? Maybe, just maybe...

Digging out her mom's old kanji compilation books, Natalia counted the numbers of strokes each one had, looking them up and finding their pronounciation and meaning.

She smiled when she saw that they were the symbols respectively for "ma" and "ri".

So. Mari was the girl's name. If only the ring had included the surname as well; but Natalia supposed that was too much to ask. A purely frivolous web search showed that the meanings for the name 'Mari' were "rebellious" or "uncertain, bitter". Odd sentiments to give a small girl.

Although Natalia still wasn't positive, "Mari" was the name she hung onto, as it was the only lead she had. She longed to meet her again, to have a proper conversation, and although she knew she was being silly she began to compile what she already knew about the girl from her short time with her along with the name definitions for "Mari", coming up with her own fictional girl. Rebellious. Uncertain. Bitter. Alone. Beloved. Truth. Goddess of Death. She decided the girl had pale skin, because of the meaning "pearl", and blue eyes, because of the meaning "of the sea", and brown hair, because of the meaning "calf". She knew she was being silly, but what was the harm in it?

* * *

><p><strong>Mari<strong>

It's the morning after a mission, and I'm staring listlessly at a cup of coffee as I try to blink the crustiness out of my eyes. _Damn._

"You know what we should do, when school gets out?" Joseph says, out of nowhere.

"Ugh." I shot a guy last night and I'm pretty sure I killed him, so I'm in a really shitty mood, and don't really care what Joseph is blabbering about. _Why do I even do this? What's the point? _I think dejectedly.

"We should go camping, like we used to. Remember?"

"Camping?" I ask stupidly. What's camping? My brain doesn't work well in the morning.

"Yes, Mari, camping," Joseph replies impatiently. "Think about it, it'll be fun! You really need something to take your mind off of Kai; you've been moping around for a week and a half. Look, we can ask Pain-"

"Ask Pain what, hm?"

Oh, fan-fucking-tastic. I scowl and don't turn around to greet Deidara. "None of your business."

"If we can go camping," Joseph replies promptly, ignoring my obvious intentions to shun the blond. "The whole Akatsuki could go, for sort of a, you know, vacation. I heard from Sasori that the missions are really going to pick up two weeks from now, so it would be a perfect time to kick back..."

"Good idea, un," Deidara replied, annoyingly cheery. Arrogantly he grabs a chair next to me and plunks down in it.

"We don't care what you think, man," I snap bitchily.

"I do," Joseph volunteers.

"Joseph does."

"Yeah, I heard her," I mutter, kicking Joseph under the table. She just sticks her tongue out at me.

"Oh, lighten up, would you, Mari?" she laughs. "Come on, it's summer vacation, let's live a little! I know Hidan will be all for it, we can stock up on some beer and..."

"You don't even know if Leader will agree or not," I interrupt peevishly, not being in any kind of mood to picture happily frolicking by a lake with a cooler full of Miller Light. I'd much prefer to mope about Kai's being in the hospital, and be pissed off at mom, and worry about bloodthirsty Oto members, and avoid Deidara, and stare at the wall...

On second thought, maybe it's not such a bad idea. Maybe I could get Itachi to ask-

"Agree to what?"

I jump, recognizing Leader's voice.

"Joseph and Mari-" I kick Deidara in the shin- "want to go camping for a few days, un," Deidara says casually. "You know, relax a bit before the big bloodbath, un."

He grins at me mischievously and I glower back at him.

Leader walks into the kitchen and opens the cupboard. "I don't care," he says the the box of Cheez Doodles. "Just be back by next Tuesday."

Selecting a box of pretzels (yes, pretzels, when there's a box of chocolate chip cookies right next to it! Leader is a strange man), he departs from the room, simply oozing superiority.

I wait until I'm sure he's gone, and then shudder. "I'm never going to get used to that."

"What, hm?"

"That whole appearing-right-behind-you-noiselessly thing. Itachi does that, too."

"So what's the big deal, hm?"

"It throws me off, man."

"I see." The blond gets a twinkle in his eye that I have come to associate with fistfights and mass destruction by incendiaries. I inwardly groan. Apparently, I've just handed him leverage. Fuck.

"Mari."

I jump, turning around to see fucking Itachi did that appearing-noiselessly-behind me thing a-fucking-_gain. _I glare. "Vere funny, man."

"I don't know what you're referring to."

"My ass."

"Say, Itachi?" Joseph asks. "Leader said we can go camping tomorrow, how 'bout it?"

Itachi paused. "I do not care."

"Sweet!" Joseph chirps, jumping up. "I'm gonna go tell Hidan and we can see who's coming, maybe we can leave tomorrow-"

I sigh and set my head down on the table. Now it doesn't matter whether I want to go or not. Hidan will be all for it, Kakuzu will go to make sure we don't spend too much money, Deidara will go to just to bother me, Sasori will go to make sure Deidara doesn't burn anything down, Kisame will want to go and Itachi will be given responsibility for making sure no one dies or kills anyone else.

Although that would make for a good campfire story...

I'm shaken from my contemplations of Sasori killing a man by a puppet near a lake and sparking an urban legend about Lake Hanomizu being haunted by clickety-clacking ghouls of dead fishermen, when Hidan suddenly comes in, waving something paper around with a flourish.

"Hey, bitch!" he shouts, throwing a newspaper toward me. "You're a _hero_!" Hidan adds mockingly, laughing as I scan the paper. Apparently the girl did an interview after the police picked her up.

Itachi frowns, reading over my shoulder. "Did she see your face?"

I shake my head, still readind. "No...I left the bag over their heads, all she saw was my ring..." 'Unnamed hero'? 'Friend of the weak'? Who wrote this bullshit? All I did was a minor kindness. In the middle of brutally killing two other human beings, as well. That's nothing to be called "hero" for. "Is this bad?" I ask Itachi, worried about Leader's reaction. "This publicity?"

"As long as they didn't identify you, there shouldn't be a problem."

"I disagree," Sasori says. "Do we really want a reputation for kindness to small children? Hardly intimidating."

I shake my head. "Nah. We'll get the people's respect more this way. You know, we take down the strong and defend the weak..." As long as the weak don't stand up to us, that is. I flip to a new page, wanting to read something else. "I mean, that's the whole point of the Akatsuki, right? We're fighting to make things better for kids like her."

I look up and see Itachi smiling, ever so slighty. I frown. "What are you smirking about, Weasel?"

"You understand the greater good," he says simply.

I scowl and raise the paper back over my , secretly I'm still thinking about that little girl, how she portrayed me as a good samaritan instead of a shitless violent heathen. I smile a little, where no one can see me. It makes the weight of having killed a little lighter.

"Joseph's looking for you, man," I tell Hidan, trying to change the subject.

"Yeah, I talked to her," Hidan replies. "Sounds like a fucking great idea."

An anger mark pops up on my forehead. "Does anyone even have tents?"

"We'll buy some," Hidan tells me dismissively. "Quit being such a damned buzzkill."

I sigh and roll my eyes.

* * *

><p>"Mari?" Mom asks when she answers the door, somewhat incredulously.<p>

I nod, feeling awkward. "Hey."

"...Hey, kiddo." She opens the door to let me in, and I enter her apartment, seeing to my surprise that it's not a total sty.

"How are things going?" she asks me when I sit down at the table.

I nod. "Alright. Me and the boys are going camping tomorrow, and I wanted you to let Kai know. He'll be out of the hospital by then, won't he?"

Mom nods, a faraway look on her face. "Camping?"

"Camping."

Mom looks unsure. "Those boys aren't...dangerous, are they?"

"Not to me, man." Mom doesn't look convinced, so I frown. "Besides, you're a good nine years too late to be worrying about me, anyways."

I expect Mom to get mad, but she just looks forlorn. "I'm sorry for all of that, Mari," she tells me. "But I've grown up since then."

"Not as much as I've had to."

Mom winces. "Mari, I was fifteen when I was pregnant with you. I was sad and confused and depressed when I started taking meth."

I shake my head, my mind reeling. Fifteen and pregnant? I can't even imagine it. I let Mom go on: "Your father was a good boy, but he was still a boy. We didn't know what we were doing and we had no one to show us the way."

I swallow. This wasn't what I expected when I came in here.

"I know this won't make up for anything," Mom tells me, "but I want to be a better mom to you and Kai. Especially Kai, now that you're so much more grown up than I expected. I have some money saved up for college for you..."

I shake my head. "Save it for Kai. I don't think I'm going to have the option."

Mom bites her lip. "The gang, right? There are ways to get out of it, you know. You're not stuck."

"I am, Mom. I really am." I smile a little. "But...it's not quite as bad as I thought it was. We're not one of these asshole gangs only looking out for ourselves. We're trying to get that damn Oto out of Konoha."

"And after that?" Mom asks, not buying it. "You're telling me once your gang has monopoly over this city, they won't just do what they please?"

After we defeat Oto, we're going to leave a few members here and take the rest out of Konoha to conquer another town, and so on until the Land of Fire is ours. As soon as possible Leader wants to get someone, a figurehead, into a prominent public or government position so he can begin taking over the government without too much civilian bloodshed. This isn't just a gang. This is a full-blown conspiracy. But I'm not telling Mom that. "I don't make the decisions," I tell her evasively. "All I need to know is that we're doing good. Or, at least, I am. I'm not a sheep, Mom."

Mom smiles slightly. "I hope you remember that, Mari, because you need to know where you stand or you'll lose yourself. The world has a way of eroding your morals until before you know it, you don't recognize yourself anymore." She looks sad and haunted, and I can tell she's trying to give me her own experience, trying to get me to understand why she made the decisions she did. "I want so much more than that for you."

I stand up. "I'll see you in a week or so," I say, then promptly turn around and walk out the door.

* * *

><p><strong>These recent chapters haven't been very funny, have they? I'll try to fix that in the upcoming chapters.<strong>

**To answer your questions, I don't think Natalia is going to have a big role in this fic. I did a part on her because I thought she was potentially interesting, and I was right. I'm starting to like her...**

**Until next time, review! Please! Reviews keep me alive, guys!**

**-amy out**


	45. S'mores and a Civil Conversation

**First off, on the way here to write this I fell off my bike and sprained my ankle, but I freaking CAME ANYWAYS at the risk of my health (possibly) only so I could update. This, ladies and gentlemen, is DEDICATION.**

**I literally came up with the idea to write a camping chapter a YEAR ago and wrote half the chapter then, and I wrote the other half of this chapter while on THIS year's camping trip. I really need internet access at home.**

**Although...I am pretty dissapointed about the reviews. My stats page says more than ninety people read this chapter, but only like four reviewed. :( Come on guys, PLEASE take a few seconds to review! Although, I'm pretty sure this chapter will give you some more incentive. **

**Also: Person who reviewed strategically so I'd have 666 reviews: I'm slightly annoyed, but, well done. I would like to high-five you through the internet.**

**...**

**There should be an app for that.**

* * *

><p>Before I know it, I'm loaded up in the backseat of Sasori's car, squished between Deidara and the car window. Why Sasori's car you ask? Well, for the simple reason that Joseph packed all the camping stuff in the backseat of Itachi's car and made sure everyone else left before us three. The result is that I've ended up in the backseat with Deidara and Zetsu. I'm just thankful Tobi decided to call shotgun and is busy annoying Sasori instead of us. It's a two hour drive to lake Hanomizu, and I think I must be growing up or something because it wasn't excruciatingly awkward all the way there. We just talked.<p>

"Hipsters are just like, what unpopular teenagers become so they can feel special."

"Hmph." Deidara grunts. "They should all burn, un."

"You want to kill an entire subculture?"

"Hipstercide, un."

"Yeah, because genocide is too mainstream," I grin.

He snorts. "That's gotta be one of the worst jokes I've ever heard, un."

I shrug. "Worth a shot though, huh?"

Of course, after a while we run out of topics, and just end up staring out the window. The gentle hum of the car over pavement and the monotony of the passing tree-filled landscape eventually lull me to sleep, or something like it at least. I can't really remember the exact moment I woke up, or any lost time; all I know is that suddenly I blinked, and the car had stopped, my slobber smeared across the window, and a warm, heavy lump on my shoulder.

A warm, heavy, _blond _lump.

Oh for fuck's sake.

As slowly as possible, so as not to move too much, I turn my head.

It's confirmed.

Deidara _fell asleep _on my _shoulder._

For the sake of _fuck! _

_Did he do this on purpose? _I wonder exasperatedly. _Maybe I should just cut my losses and draw a moustache on him. _

His face moves. It freaking _moves. _I stiffen and it occurs to me.

This boy is _nuzzling _my shoulder.

This almost does not compute.

This Akatsuki terrorist who thousands are petrified of and who would think nothing of killing a man in cold blood, is nuzzling my fucking shoulder in his sleep.

I feel indignant on behalf of common sense and rationality everywhere.

His breath makes his bangs flutter, and suddenly I'm thinking how this actually is kind of cute but I really, really need to get out of this car...

Someone raps on the window.

I look up and see Joseph smirking at me.

I feel my face start to turn red. 'Help me', I mouth.

She just grins and mouths back, 'Have fun' and walks away.

Shit fuck god damn it.

I _really _need to get out of this.

Carefully, I slide my left hand out and unlock the car door, opening it slightly.

Still asleep.

Now I just have to unbuckle the sea...

...tbelt...

He is sitting on it.

Holy mother of fuck, he is sitting on the seat belt.

My brain screeches in frustration.

I take a deep breath. Okay. This is okay. I should not be this distressed by this situation. I am Mari Sui, member of the Akatsuki, trained by Uchiha Itachi who has faced strong Oto members head-on and won. I run with the big dogs. If I can infiltrate Oto member's headquarters, gather information, free hostages and kill the grown men occupying the place before running away and never once being identified, I can unbuckle a seat belt and leave a car without awakening a seventeen-year-old boy.

Slowly, I slide my right hand towards the seat belt.

No response.

I carefully inch my way towards the red button...

Nada.

I fumble around haphazardly looking for the red release button...dammit, wrong side, flip it over...why can't we have the kind that unbuckles on the outside? Aha, finally!

"Tough Girl, hm?"

I freeze. S_hit._

He sits up.

Our eyes meet.

My seat belt slides, slowly, ominously, across my midriff.

He is sitting on my hand.

The _inside _of my hand.

Dear God kill me now.

I feel heat slowly make its way across my face.

Deidara looks bemused. He looks down, puzzled, then back up at me, as the reality of the situation dawns on him.

This is like some kind of nightmare you wake up from and then question your sanity. Maybe I'm still asleep and my brain is malfunctioning and if so, what the hell kind of nightmare is this?

Deidara smirks. "You know, if you wanted to grab my ass, you could've done so a lot sooner, Mari, un."

My face must be redder than a tomato. My mouth hangs open, gaping like a fish, while I open and close it in an attempt to make words come out of it while my brain does its best to compute this newest of horrors. Meanwhile Deidara's grin is just growing steadily bigger as he enjoys my agony.

"S-shut up!" I finally manage (brilliant, yes I know), extricating myself from the car as fast as I can, followed by the sound of his laughter.

_Damn him._

* * *

><p>Now, I'm not proud of this, but I was so embarrassed by the Seat Belt Incident that I stomped out onto the dock and stayed there, refusing to help set up camp. Well, honestly I also just didn't want to help, but even if I did I wouldn't have because I didn't want to face him. Jesus, why can't I be the kind of girl who could turn that whole situation around? Like, just laugh it off and tell him to get his ass away from my hand or something? But no. Instead I'm the girl whose face goes as red as Sasori's hair, who stutters and then runs away at the first opportunity.<p>

What is it with this guy, that I suddenly start _blushing _and _stuttering. _I never blush or stutter. I usually just employ a low level of fucks given and move on. But _him_? I don't know how to react. I don't know how to operate without embarassing myself. My brain won't function correctly.

This is fucking ridiculous.

"Hey Mari?"

"What Joseph?" I ask tiredly.

"Why are you standing out here looking all pissed?" she asks, sidling up beside me.

I look at her. "He hasn't told you?"

She blinks. "Told me what?" Then she grins. "How you two were all snuggling up together?"

I punch her on the shoulder. "Shut up, man."

"It was so cuuuute!" she squeals. This is even more irritating because Joseph hardly _ever _squeals. She is deliberately being out of charecter just to screw with me.

I punch her again, but secretly I'm relieved. Could it be he hasn't told anyone? Could the impossible have happened, and Blond Prick is going to be cool about this?

When I approach the campsite, it seems everyone is gone except me, Joseph, Sasori, and Deidara. Deidara is busy building the campfire and Sasori appears to be hoarding the lighter fluid. I honestly can't blame him. I happen to know firsthand that Deidara knows more than twenty ways to make a bomb with lighter fluid and coke cans, and I can tell by the gleam in his eyes that he wants to try them all.

I clear my throat. "Where is everyone?"

"Hidan and Kakuzu went to the store," Sasori monotones. "Tobi is swimming."

"Kisame and the Uchiha are getting firewood, un."

"And no one knows where Zetsu is," I finish for him.

He nods. "As usual."

Joseph laughs. "Typical."

Deidara looks up at me and grins again. Lacking a mature course of action, I stick my tongue out at him.

Joseph plunks herself down in a chair near the cooler. "Hey, Mari, want a coke?"

"Sure." She throws me one and I pop it open, taking a long draught as I watch Deidara get a campfire started. He seems to be having trouble.

"Can't we just wait till later for a campfire?" Joseph asks.

"Dude, camping minus campfire equals gay, man."

"Hm," Deidara half-grunts-half-laughs. "Danna, this would go a lot faster with lighter fluid, un."

"If you wish, I will commence building the fire. Neither you nor Mari will have access to the lighter fluid," Sasori says.

I raise an eyebrow at him. "Why not me?"

Sasori looks at me skeptically and says in a very droll voice, "You are getting altogether too fond of incendiaries. I worry that the brat is rubbing off on you."

I roll my eyes. "For one thing, I was a pyro _way _before I met the blond. And for another thing, how I fight is none of your business, man."

"Ha!" Deidara grins at me approvingly. "I ought to teach you more of my art sometime, Tough Girl."

I sneer at him. "Let's not and say we did."

Joseph shakes her head at me. "Still playing hard-to-get, Mari? Really, it's getting pretty redundant at this point."

"Shut the hell up!" I snap.

Sasori smirks.

Finally finishing up making the fire, Deidara stands up and stretches, looking at me and smirking. "I have to agree with Joseph, un."

"Go to hell," I tell him blankly.

The arrogant prick decides to grab a seat next to me. I glare at him.

"Don't give me that look," he admonishes. "What are you, a tease, hm?"

"Go to hell!" I say, angrily this time.

"Brat, leave her alone," Sasori says dispassionately. "I'm growing bored of this idiocy."

"Yeah, he's growing bored," I tell Deidara. "Listen to your danna, man!"

He rolls his eyes. "What, do you want to die a virgin, Tough Girl, un?"

I glare at him and decide I've had enough. I elbow him in the chest so that he falls backwards off the cooler.

"Ow! Dammit!"

For a second I feel smug, until he grabs me by the ponytail so hard I fall on my back.

"Fuck! You bastard!" I screech, trying to sit up, but he pins me by my shoulders.

"Surrender, un."

"Never." I wiggle my left arm away from him and use my core muscles to begin to push him away and get a better standing.

He snickers. "You know I'm stronger than you, un!"

"Fuck off!"

"Ahem."

We both stop struggling and look toward the sound; Itachi, with an armful of wood, looking markedly unimpressed with us.

Kisame grins from behind him. "What's up, Mari?"

I smile sarcastically. "Oh, nothing, you?"

Deidara glares at Itachi.

Itachi sets his wood down and gives us another one of his condescending looks. "Anytime the two of you care to quit behaving like children, let us know."

I roll my eyes and roll away from Deidara. "We were just sparring, Itachi."

"Sparring. I'll bet," Kisame scoffs, looking at me and grinning.

I stick my tongue out at him and take a huge drink of my Dr. Pepper.

Deidara is still glaring at Itachi. "You are, the _biggest _cockblocker, un."

I accidentally inhale by drink and begin coughing and wheezing, spitting my soda all over the place.

"Ew," Joseph comments.

Kisame pats me on the back so hard I almost fall over.

When I finally stop choking on my drink, I laugh so hard my face turns red.

Deidara looks at me like I've lost my mind.

* * *

><p>We spend most of the day goofing around in the lake. Sasori and Kakuzu declined to swim, but surprisingly, Itachi jumped right in. (Figuratively. Really he just walked in.) Me and Joseph, as always, decide to swim across the lake and back, which ends up to be harder than it looks. Kisame, of course, had to go and make us look stupid by starting swimming after us when we were halfway across, and arriving back at our end of the lake before we even started back. Show-off. Tobi, predictably, wanted to play Marco Polo. We obliged for awhile.<p>

"Marco," I called, arms stretched out blindly. "Marco!"

I heard a splash to my right. I lunged toward it.

Suddenly I found myself being picked up by a huge pair of hands, flying in the air. They slammed me down for a painful backflop.

"POLO!" Kisame shouted.

I emerge from the water, coughing and sputtering and greeted by the sound of laughter. I flip Kisame off and splash him, then head underwater to avoid the mammoth splash he sends in retaliation.

Evantually we get tired of the game, and all simply ditch Tobi while he's "Marco". He wades around in the water yelling "Marco!" in his ridiculously childish voice for ten minutes before he even suspects a thing.

We also played "Sharks and Minnows" off the dock, but we wouldn't let Kisame play.

"Why not?" he wanted to know.

"Uh, because you'd be great at it?" I answer.

He grins at me.

We play it for awhile, then when we get tired of it we all just dick around.

Joseph suggests Truth or Dare. I decline.

Hidan dunks me.

Deidara steals one of the removable straps from my top and makes me chase him to get it back.

I reattatch it, then dunk him. I kind of suspect he let me, but that didn't make it any less satisfying.

We all stay in the water until the sun goes down, then trudge back toward the shore and pull our clothes on, laughing at Hidan's sunburn.

"So? Who had a great idea?" Joseph asks me as we all sit around the campfire, making S'mores.

I have to smile. "You did, now shut up about it." I take a look at Hidan's deep pink chest and red shoulders. "Hey, Hidan, you look like Patrick the starfish, man."

"Shut the fuck up," he snaps at me.

"I told you to wear sunscreen," Joseph reminds him.

He scowls.

"Mari-chan! How do I make a s'more?!" Tobi asks me excitedly.

I twitch at the '-chan' part. "Ask Itachi."

"Itachi's mean!" he whines.

"What, and I'm not?"

"Mari-chan is too pretty to be mean!"

"I beg to differ," Deidara mutters.

I roll my eyes. "Here, you just put the marshmallow on the stick and hold it in the fire, man."

"Okay!" Tobi does as I suggest and sticks his marshmallow into the fire, where it soon bursts into flames.

"AH! IT'S ON FIRE! AHHH!" Tobi screams, waving the stick around. The entire Akatsuki tries to duck for cover.

"That's what's supposed to happen you id-"

Just then the marshmallow flies off the stick. We watch in horror as it makes a flaming, graceful arc...

...and lands right in Deidara's bangs.

"AH! SHIT, UN!" he shouts, jumping up and shaking his head.

In a different group of people, Deidara might've encountered panic on his behalf and perhaps someone running to douse the flames while someone else googles first aid for burns.

Instead, he encounters jeers and laughter. "Stop drop and roll, man!" I shout through my mirth.

After a few seconds he manages to douse the flames. He stands there, looking down and glaring angrily as the molten marshmallow slowly drips its way out of his bangs and toward the ground, smoke rising from his head from his singed hair. We all snicker as he looks at me and glares.

"I'll get you for this, un! Why'd you tell the idiot how to make a s'more, hm?!" he demands.

"Oh, shut up," I tell him flippantly. "Just wash the crap out of your hair and pop a squat, man!"

He stalks off toward the lake angrily. We continue to laugh.

We sit around the campfire till really late, gossiping about school and bragging about our crimes, planning for the future and ranting about Oto, drinking beer and guzzling soda, eating many a S'more. We start to trail back toward our tent, Hidan first, then Kisame, Itachi, then Joseph, etc, and finally me, curling up in my sleeping bag and swiftly falling asleep.

* * *

><p>"Mari. Hey, Mari. Wake up."<p>

"Hunh?" I look up to see Deidara poking his head through the tent, looking at me as if nothing in the world is wrong with waking me up in the middle of the goddamn night.

"What do you want?" I snap.

"No time to explain! It's urgent, un!"

"Fuck off," I say, burying myself under the covers.

"Marriiiii..." he whines, grabbing my foot and shaking it. "I'm not leaving until you follow me, un!"

I throw my blankets off. "Leave me alone, man!"

"No, un."

"Goddamn shithead wake me up in the middle of the fucking night..." I grumble, blearily getting out of my sleeping bag and crawling out of the tent. "This had better be good, man..."

"It is, un! Come on, come on!" he motions for me to follow him out toward the dock. Sleep clouding my judgement, I follow.

"Are you drunk? Why are you even up, man?"

"Kind of, and I couldn't sleep, un."

I walk out onto the dock reluctantly. "What are you trying to show me? How exactly is this urgent?"

He walks out to the edge of the dock and stares out at the lake contemplatively. "I wanted to show this to someone, and you're the only one I felt like bothering, un."

"Lovely."

"See how the waves are always moving?" he asks me. "Just think about it, they'll never be the same way, ever again. Each wave is beautiful and fleeting. Almost...artistic, un."

I take a deep breath. "_This _is what you dragged me out of bed for? Waves?" I ask incredulously. "Can't you just wait until tomorrow for this, man?"

He looks at me blankly. "No. I also wanted to repay you for this afternoon. Remember, hm?"

"Wha-"

And without further ado, he promptly pushes me into the _freezing _cold lake.

"You sonofabitch!" I shout when I resurface. "I'll kill you!"

He laughs. "Hush, you'll wake everyone up! Here..." he kneels down and offers me a hand. I take it, cautiously. He grips my arm hard and lifts me up to about eye level.

Then he grins and throws me back into the water. "Gullible much, hm?"

I barely hear him over the sound of my splashing and shivering and cursing up a storm as I climb back onto the dock myself. Once I get onto the dock, I put my hands on my hips and glare at him, water dripping off my body.

He just returns my look with a stupid grin of self-satisfaction. "You totally fell for it, un!"

I take a deep breath, looking back out toward the water. "Did you really mean it about the lake being art, man?"

"Huh?" He looks back out toward the water. "I guess, un."

"I can kind of see it," I tell him, widening my stance slightly.

"Really, un?"

"...No."

I push him in the lake.

"You bitch!"

I ignore him and march back to the campsite to re-start the fire, stripping off my wet clothes until I'm just wearing my swimsuit and grabbing a towel to wrap around myself.

The fire awakens quickly and I sit in front of it, warming my hands., anger still simmering. It is _way _too late to be up, and it's an unusually cold night for this time of year. I think back to my warm tent longingly.

After a moment I abandon all pretense and sit painfully close to the fire, hoping to warm my cold, clammy, wet skin. I ignore the searing pain in my left arm for as long as I can, because right now I don't care how badly I'm burned. I'll forgo caution for warmth. That's the way it is with fire, comforting and potentially terrifying in equal measures.

Deidara approaches the campfire cautiously. I look up and give him an ugly, piercing glare. He grimaces. "Look, there was marshmallow in my _hair-_"

"That doesn't mean you're off the hook, man," I reply tiredly.

He rolls his eyes. "You already pushed _me _into the water, too, doesn't that make us even, hm?" he asks irritably, pulling his soaking wet shirt up over his head, revealing wet tanned skin and...um...muscles...

I suddenly become incredibly interested in the fire, trying to convince myself that the burning on my face is from the flames on my cheeks.

"Well?"

"Huh?" I ask, blinking and drawing my towel closer around my shoulders.

I hear Deidara sitting down next to me. "Are we even, hm? Come on Mari, answer me, un!"

I sigh dramatically, giving in. "Fine. I forgive you," I say, surprising even myself. The truth is, despite my instinct to keep acting hateful and pissed off and generally bitchy, I don't want to right now. For one, I'm tired, and after getting thrown into freezing water at 3 AM I'm not in the mood for a big argument or fight. Besides, I know by now that it won't work on him, anyways. And, if I'm being perfectly honest, I don't _want _to fight with him; I don't want him to leave...although I wouldn't mind if he'd _put a damn shirt on._

"...Well, that was fast, un."

"Just be quiet, man," I answer rigidly, thinking that I also wouldn't mind having some warm, dry clothes myself. I feel distinctly vulnerable in nothing but the red bikini I'm top with shorts that I'd been wearing under my clothes, and the now-damp towel I'm currently wrapping myself in. Especially so close to _him. _Goosebumps start to crawl up and down my flesh, not wholly from the cold...And yet, I'm starting to be aware of a strange, unfamiliar feeling in my gut, in my throat, a buzzing, silvery, pinkish feeling, whispering that maybe being a little vulnerable isn't _always _bad-

I cut myself off as I realize my thoughts are treading once more into dangerous waters. I cast my attentions to my surroundings instead, the crackling dance of the campfire, the cool chill of the night, the sparkling light of the waves on the lake reflecting the lights from the moon and stars and the soft rustling of the trees overhead. I gaze into the stars, twinkling and out of reach, stoic but comforting, making me feel small and insignificant but not quite forgotten.

I glance back at Deidara, who pretends to be engrossed in the fire, but I just _know _he's looking at me out of the corner of his eye. I'm actually acutely aware of the way my stomach rolls when I sit hunched over, the way my unwashed hair sits so stringily about my shoulders, neck and face and how, ehm, low-cut my bathing suit is. It fits quite a bit tighter than it did last year...I tighten my towel around my neck self-consciously, thinking with irritation that after all that waiting, my boobs sure did pick an awkward and inconvenient time to start growing.

"What are you thinking about, hm?"

I blink, then flush. "Uh- nothing, man, nothing!" I blabber, inwardly berating myself for this garishly un-Mari-like behavior.

Deidara frowns. "Well, now I'm _really_ curious, un..."

I look away pointedly. "Forget it, man."

"Aw, come on, tell me, un!"

"Would _you_ just randomly tell me exactly what it is you're thinking about, out of nowhere?" I snap.

He looks away. "Probably not."

"There ya go."

"Hmph."

Deidara doesn't exactly look happy, but hey, it's not exactly any of his buisness, is it? At any rate, he lets the matter drop. My thoughts turn back to the campfire, back to memories of the last time I sat in front of one...

I grimace and shake my head furiously. No. Bad territory. Bad thoughts. I need a distraction.

I get up and grab a can of Dr. Pepper from the cooler and find a distraction in the form of the bottle of lighter fluid. I sit back down, open the top of it, and squeeze a generous amount onto the flames.

_FWOOM!_ My face is hit by a wave of heat as the fire flares up enthusiastically, doubling in size momentarily before shrinking back down.

"It's dangerous to play with fire, you know, hm," Deidara teases, having watched all of this rather more smugly than is necessary.

"It's more dangerous not to," I reply, giving the same response I always give when this little nugget of wisdom is offered to me.

Deidara raises his eyebrow, the one I can see. "Oh really? How so?"

Somewhere in the back of my mind, a dim warning sound goes off, but as I'm not sure what it's warning me of and I can barely hear it, I ignore it and answer his question: "Because fire is what makes us human," I say, watching the flames rather than Deidara's face. "The tool of humanity. On one hand it's destruction, chaos, the very worst way to die..." I give the flames another spurt of lighter fluid for emphasis. "But on the other hand, it's light, warmth...spark. The motivation for us to...look for something more," I finish hurriedly, suddenly feeling I've revealed too much of myself, seeing that intense look he's started to give me.

"So you _do _respect my art, after all, un!" he finally states triumphantly.

I give him a look of profound irritation. "That's not what I mean, man!"

"So what _did _you mean, un?" he asks, smirking.

I decide to try and trivialize the issue for now, since I don't liek where this seems to be heading. "All I mean is, what's life without a little _risk, _right?"

Deidara tilts his head, looks me up and down (I remember with a sinking feeling that I let my towel fall off when I went to get a drink), then meets my eyes as he starts to sport a dangerous grin. "Couldn't agree more, hm," he says softly, starting to inch closer...

My stomach lurches. My muscles tighten. My eyes widen. My arms twitch toward him as an image of me leaning in toward him, my arms around his head, fills my mind-

I grip my still-wet hair with both hands, squeezing my eyes shut. _No! it's not- no. Don't even go there. _Because for all my big talk about fire and risk, there's still something in me that refuses to allow itself an oppurtunity to be burned.

"...Mari?"

I open my eyes to see a very confused-looking Deidara. _Aw hell. _I slowly lower my arms from my head, looking up somewhat sheepishly. God, how pathetic can I _get? _

"What was _that _all about, hm?"

I rub my eyes and sigh, suddenly exhausted. "Look, can you just stop- stop _doing that?" _

"Doing what, hm?"

I scowl. "Forget it."

"No, tell me!" He scoots closer, looking at me urgently, and altogether too intensely. "I'm curious! Why do you always get all skittish around me, hm?"

I swallow nervously, trying to look away but not seeming to be able to, and his closeness makes it hard to think... "That's just how I am."

The tips of his mouth twitch up as he gives a humorless smile. "I don't buy that. For chrissake, Mari, I know you, I've fought with you. What's the matter, hm?"

It's stupid how fast my heart is beating. It's just plain stupid, how panicked I get from not being in control. Maybe the problem's not him after all, maybe it's me. After all _he's _the one acting like a normal teenager; _I'm _the one flipping out over nothing. Well, not nothing, exactly, but still, it's not his fault I'm like this...Don't I at least owe him an explanation? We're friends by now, aren't we? Doesn't the word 'friend' indicate some level of trust?

I look away from him, back into the fire. I swallow again, then start right in with it before I lose my nerve: "The last time I went camping, i was twelve. I went with Mom and Dad, all of us, like a family."

"I thought she left when you were younger."

"No, she did, but she'd come back sometimes," I explain bitterly. "They'd act like everything was fine again, and jsut when we were starting to hope, boom! She's gone again." I shake my head. "She shoulda just stayed away. But yeah...we went camping. It was fun. I remember I taught Kai how to swim...but then Mom's boyfriend showed up."

I grimace, remembering the fighting even today. "He went nuts. Dad did. Got in a huge fight with the guy, right in front of us, and Mom was screaming and Kai hid in the tent, but I didn't because I don't know, I couldn't move, I just stood there watching the guy bleed..."

It's a torrent of words and memories now. i pause, and he doesn't say anything, and I don't look at him, afraid to shatter this strange connection that's growing stronger withe very word. "Anyways, Mom left with the guy, and Dad broke down crying, asking me why Mom didn't love him anymore...what the hell was I supposed to say? I was twelve! I couldn't take it, I started crying too and that made me mad, so I went to find Kai, and he was asleep so I went to sleep, too..."

My mouth twists. I close my eyes, then re-open them. "I woke up later, to use the bathroom. Real late. When I got back, I heard some kinda weird sound, so I looke at a tree...my dad was in it. Standing on a limb. I didn't understand why..." I swallow. "He jumped. For a second I couldn't even do anything, I just stood there panicking...then I grabbed a beer bottle and broke him on a rock and cut him down, it didn't break his neck so he was just choking, and I was bleeding because I'd slipped..."

I shake my head, looking up at the sky, talking in a deadened voice. "The next day he acted like it was all okay, but it wasn't. It never was. Dad was...broken. That wasn't the only time he tried to..." I choke on words and stop, swallowing, my ears stinging. Finally, a take a deep breath and say, "...Dad's not coming back. Not ever."

Hot tears well up in my eyes before I can force them away. I wipe my face frantically. "Dammit..."

"Mari."

I look up at Deidara to see he's now sitting much closer, looking at me with an uncharecteristically serious expression, and before I can even move his arms encircle me in a hug, his left arm around my waist pulling me into him, his right on the back of my head.

_So sarcifice yourself _

_And let me have what's left_

"D-Deidara," I say, feeling frozen.

_I know that I can find_

_The fire in your eyes_

The look in his eyes is so intense, I feel like he's burning me. All thoughts have flown out of my mind as he pauses, "Just relax," he murmurs.

_I'm going all the way_

Fear shoots through my chest, anticipation, shreds of resentment, reluctance. "Get away," I say under my breath.

_Please._

His eyes meet mine, and I see in them not one ounce of hesitation

His lips are on mine, and my eyes are closing...

_You take the breath right out of me..._

My brain ceases to function. Nothing exists but the girtty dirt on my back and his mouth on mine, and it's fierce and intense and fantastic...

I don't know how much time passes, but suddenly he's biting my neck and something odd happens. I inhale and it's like my perspective changes. As far back as I can remember my body's just been, like, _there. _Legs, arms, a torso, unspectacular, none of it as strong as I would like. But now, being so close to him, wrapped up in each other, the contrast is so garish that I suddenly feel distinctly womanly. Female. Not weak, feminine. Special. And he feels especially male, and strong.

Stronger.

It's that realization that awakens some buried fear that brings me back to reality. "W-wait...stop..."

"Hm?" He rises up and looks at me curiously, impatiently. "What?"

"I- I can't do this, man," I say, flustered, slipping away, my head spinning.

"_What? _What's wrong, hm?"

I ignore him, standing up and walking back toward my tent. He grabs my wrist, saying, "Tough Girl-"

I whip around. "_Don't," _I snarl. "Call me that!"

He scowls but loosens his grip. I yank my hand away and stomp into my tent, heart racing and an inward battle going on between a lightness in my chest and a sinking feeling of dread in my stomach.

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><p><strong>*Le dramatic gasp* Writing romance is a bitch and half.<strong>

**Please review and let me know what you think! :D**

**-amy out**


	46. I'm Still Me

**I forgot: lyrics from the last chapter are from Breath by Breaking Benjamin.**

**I'm so excited to be able to update so soon! I love how I can just stay up until 2 AM drinking root beer floats and writing fanfictions.**

**Summer is the best.**

**Also: did anyone else watch World War Z? Because that movie is the SHIT.**

* * *

><p>He should not have done that. He should <em>not <em>have done that.

As soon as I snap my eyes open in the morning, I'm immediately thinking of what happened by the campfire last night. He kissed me on the mouth, hard. And I just layed there, unresisting. I wasn't just shocked, I was entranced. I let him kiss me because I'd liked it.

I sit up and bury my face in my hands. I didn't even know I was capable of feeling that way; I never had before. I _still _feel different, now, laying here. I feel like a whole new part of me, that I've locked away for so long, has been found, and it doesn't want to leave. It's softer, lighter, changing the way I think, opening up possibilities I never even considered before. Possibilities as terrifying as they are exciting.

And yet...

I feel so vulnerable this way, so stripped of my defenses. I don't like it. I force myself away from this new feeling, resisting, remembering who I really am. Putting the pieces of myself back together one by one until I'm Mari again. Proud, tough, angry, confrontational...I feel myself settling back into...well, myself, like I'm sliding into a well-worn, comfortable shell.

And now that I'm here...fear. Not cold and overpowering like fear during missions, fear of injury or death. It's unease, a quiet sense of dread on the back of my neck. I've done the unthinkable. I've gotten too close. I've made things complicated -or, at least, let him make things complicated, but it comes to the same thing, really. I've gotten _involved. _

I take a deep breath. I'm just going to have to deal with this, that's all. I'll just tell Deidara that I don't want-

_Deidara. _

The feeling comes out of nowhere and takes me by surprise. It takes a second for me to put a name to it: longing. I don't want to tell him to forget it. I want to unzip my tent and find him and run out to the middle of the woods and-

God _damn _it! I pinsh myself on the arm. This isn't helping! With effort, I push the feeling down and away, repressing it as best I can. _I never thought it would be this strong..._

Anyways. I'm just being stupid. I've already decided I never want to fall in love, with anyone. That's what I have to tell him. 'I'm not looking to date anyone.' 'I'm not ready.' I'll even pull out the 'it's-not-you-it's-me' thing if I need to.

I take another deep breath, steeling myself against what's sure to be a long day.

"Ugh...g'morning, Mari..."

I jump at Joseph's voice. "Morning, Joseph."

She props herself up on he elbows, blinking at me sleepily. "Man, I'm starved...wait a second!" Her eyes focus on me, then narrow, looking at a spot on my neck.

"What?"

"What's that on your neck?"

"What are you talking about, man?" I ask, trying to look down at my own neck and, of course, failing.

"Look..." She starts digging through her bag and finally emerges with a handheld mirror. "Right there!"

I take it and hold it out to see what she's pointing at. When I see it, I groan.

That goddamned blond left a bite mark.

"Wait a second...did you...?"

"_Fuck_," I mutter, ignoring Joseph and her rapidly growing grin as I look through her makeup bag for concealer. "I'm gonna catch so much shit for this..."

"Whose bite is that?!" she asks escitedly. "You'd better tell me, Mari, is it-"

"_Shut up!" _I whisper-yell. "Keep your voice down, man!"

"It was!" I can see the triumphant gleam in her eyes. "You kissed Dei!"

"First off, _he _kissed _me," _I snap impatiently. "Second off, I don't want to hear about it, so try and reign in your gloating. I'm about to tell him it was a mistake."

"Are you _kidding?" _She asks incredulously. "You guys kissed _once _and you're already breaking up?!"

"Oh don't be stupid Joseph," I snap, feeling irrationally angry at her. "Kissing someone...I mean, kissing Deidara isn't going to change anything. I'm still Mari."

"Yeah, and?" she asks, raising an eyebrow. "You'll still be Mari if you don't go and do something this asinine."

"No, I mean-" I sigh in exasperation, trying to gather my thoughts. "Joseph, I've _never _wanted to have a boyfriend or find true love or any of that stupid shit. Just because he started making out with me doesn't mean I'm suddenly going to go head-over-heels and change my whole personality. I still believe the same things, I'm not going to become some idiotic lovestruck flake. I mean...I'm still me." I say quietly, looking down.

"...Oh, Mari." Joseph sighs. "You don't need to worry about any of that. Why does it bother you so much?"

"I don't want to talk about this with you," I tell her, unimpressed.

"Fine. Then at least talk to him about it."

"I was already going to!" I snap in irritation. This stupid concealer is _not _working! I throw it onto the floor.

"Sometimes, Mari, I just don't understand you."

I take a deep breath. "Whatever, man. I just need to get this over with."

Again steeling myself, I exit the tent.

Sitting around the dead remnants of the campfire are Itachi, Kisame, Kakuzu, and Sasori. Thankfully neither Hidan nor Deidara are up yet.

Kisame looks at me and grins. "Morning, Mari!"

I grunt.

"Hn," Itachi grunts in greeting. "Mari, there is something I need to speak to you about."

"Huh?" _He knows! _I immediatly begin to inwardly panic. _How the hell does he always know?!_

"It is nothing urgent," Itachi goes on dismissively, without looking up from his book. (Who brings a book to go camping, anyways?) "I believe it is time to proceed to the next stage of your training."

"Oh," I say, trying not to sound too relieved. "I mean, oh! That's great!"

That gets his attention. He looks up at me curiously.

His eyes dart to a spot beneath my chin and one of his eyebrows seem to raise slightly.

Oh, shit.

"Um, what kind of training did you have in mind, man?" I ask, hoping to cancel any chance of the subject being raised.

He looks at me drolly in the eyes for a moment -only Itachi could look both totally unconcerned and profoundly sarcastic in one look- before answering me. "It's a bit complicated. If you like, we could start now."

"Sounds good!" I say enthusiastically. "Let me just grab some breakfast-"

Suddenly arms encircle me from behind. "Good morning, un." My eyes widen. My stomach does a tap dance and thrills of excitement shoot through my gut when he kisses me on the cheek.

In front of _everyone. _

My face blooms red.

Kakuzu seems to be giving me a sadistic sort of smug look, Kisame is staring in shock, and Sasori is smirking. "Well, Mari," Sasori drawls. "This is certainly...interesting."

I shove Deidara away. "Goddamn it, you prick! What the hell makes you think you can just grab me like that, man?!" But I don't look at him. I don't even want to see the look on his smug little face.

Itachi clears his throat and I look at him, horrified to see the small smile on his face. _Oh, God, Itachi, not you too! _"I'm ready when you are, Mari."

"Let's go." I stomp away from Deidara.

"You don't want..." Is Itachi _messing _with me?

"Fuck breakfast!" I snap.

Itachi's smile widens. "Very well."

Kisame laughs. "Bashful, Mari?"

"Go to hell, Kisame!" I snap.

He just laughs harder.

I follow Itachi into the woods, snapping every branch I see in anger and frustration. The nerve of that asshole! He just came up and grabbed me like he has every right in the world! How could he not tell last night that I wasn't into it? For fuck's sake-

"Mari."

I take a deep breath. "Itachi."

He pauses, a slight smile still making the edges of his mouth twitch. "Is there anything you'd like to-"

"Training," I cut across him harshly, in a way I rarely ever speak to Itachi.

He looks at me seriously now. "...Training."

I nod, glaring angrily.

"...Hn. Where to begin..." That's one good thing about Itachi, he's not as juvenille as the rest of us. With him you can just take a deep breath and move on. "Well, do you remember my Sharingan?"

"Vividly."

Itachi smirks. "Ah. Well, the technique I often use on our enemies...and, occaisionally, in other circumstances, is actually a lost ninja art, a _jutsu, _specifically a _genjutsu. _The Sharingan eye enables those who posess it to create illusions in their victim's head."

"Like when you made me think you were cutting me?"

He nods his head. "Think of the Sharingan as a gateway to these certain techniques. It is...it used to be unique to members of the Uchiha family, but now there are almost certainly only three people in the world who have use of it. You see, the ninja arts are very jealously gaurded by the world governments, especially those unlocked by bloodline traits. A single mercenary armed with the Sharingan could cause extreme amounts of damage."

I think back to Itachi's "for-the-greater-good" speech. "Is that why you killed them?"

Itachi pauses, looking at me. "You've never mentioned that before."

His gaze weighs down on me more than usual. Even without the Sharingan, I feel like he's x-raying me, seeing right through me. I shrug uncomfortably, but resist the urge to look away. "We didn't know each other well, and honestly I didn't like you much. I didn't think it was any of my buisness before."

He looks at me critically. "You've matured, Mari."

"Huh?"

"By saying that are you implying that we know each other well enough now, or that you like me enough, to be comfortable asking a question so personal?" The question's notthreatening, but his tone carries traces of anger, his eyes slightly narrowed.

Oh damn. I've never seen Itachi get legitimately angry at me before, even a little bit. "You're my teacher, Itachi-san, and it's a reasonable question," I say evasively, hoping to mollify him with my use of honorifics. He must know that I hardly ever use them, even with my teachers. The only people I'll usually bother with is to say -kun or -chan for Kai or Joseph, or to insult people. The only reason I'm using them now is because I really do have a large respect for Itachi...quite apart from being slightly afraid of him at the moment.

"Hn. Well, suffice to say I had my reasons," Itachi answers me, equally evasively. "But I didn't bring you here to discuss my sad family history. To make a long story short, every Akatsuki member must master at least one ninja art to earn their cloak, and it is high time you learned yours."

My eyes widen. I had been wondering why no one mentioned the issue of my Akatsuki cloak, but it never seemed like anything worth complaining about.

"My jutsu, of course, is use of the Sharingan for illusion, combat, and certain...insights," Itachi goes on. "Kisame uses a few water-based jutsus, one of which called Water Prison Technique. It allows him to trap his opponents in spheres of water."

"Wow," I mutter, amazed.

"Tobi has developed a teleportation jutsu that makes him nearly impossible to kill or escape in battle," Itachi goes on.

I shiver a little. _To think that _that _idiot has so much power..._

"Zetsu's main technique is called a Mayfly technique; it's what allows him to sink through the earth to travel, which makes him invaluable as a spy. Zetsu is probably the only one among us who has nearly full capability of his ninja potential, as his abilities are a part of his own body. Hidan's main ability is only that he is immortal, which isnot quite a jutsu, but close enough for our purposes. Kakuzu's ability is called the Earth Grudge Fear technique. Deidara's clay bombs are a result of his Explosion Release kekkei genkai, which allows him to make give explosive qualities to regular clay. Sasori knows some medical ninjutsu, as well as having extreme prowess in many fields besides that."

I'm almost kind of intimidated by this list. Itachi goes on: "Konan is the master of a sort of Paper Ninjutsu, the details of which she prefers to keep to herself. Pain-sama prefers to keep his jutsu -or jutsus- a secret, but rest assured it is a mighty one," Itachi finishes.

My eyes must be as wide as saucers. "I thought you had to have a kekkei genkai to use jutsu!"

"Not at all," Itachi tells me. "In fact, anyone can use jutsu because the ability to use it lies is something called _chakra, _which every living being has. The government prefers for people not to know about this -in many countries, ours included, the finer points of chakkra and jutsu are considered state secrets- but the ninja arts are widely practiced for everyday things, not only combat. For example, most medical doctors are required to have some knowledge of medical ninjutsu."

"And I...I get to learn how to use chakra?!" I ask excitedly.

"Yes," Itachi answers. "Although, in all probability it will take quite a while for you to be able to use it in actual combat. You strike me as the kind to have a surplus of chakra but have trouble controlling it."

"You don't say?" I ask sarcastically, somewhat irritated.

"I do. For now, I only want to teach you some chakra exercizes that will help you to gain control of it for yourself. You should do this every morning and every evening for a week, and then I will talk you through the next steps."

The chakra exercises turned out to be downright boring compared with my usual physical training. Itachi wanted me to meditate and concentrate in the influx of energy in my body as I breathed. He gave me concentration exercises like imagining a field full of flowers and counting them while he stood over me, sharingan blazing. Once he was convinced I was doing it right, he held is hand down toward me to help me up.

I took his hand and stood, allowing him to lift me to my feet. We walked most of the way back to the campsite in silence, him thinking of whatever deep thoughts it is that fills his waking hours, and me mulling over the many jutsus I would soon master. Or at least, the one jutsu, I would have to start small.

"Mari."

"Yeah?"

"It's obvious that something happened between you and Deidara."

I groan, remembering. "Why'd you have to bring that up?"

He ignores me. "Your social life is not my concern, but I worry that you may choose to handle this in an unhealthy way."

I glare up at him. He regards me impassively. "It occurs to me that you, more often than not, let your temper get the best of you around him, and that leads to you shouting but not really getting your point across. Do you understand what I mean?"

I frown, nodding slowly. He actually makes sense.

"I know that Deidara can be...difficult, but it would be in your best interest to try and have a rational conversation with him about whatever it is going on between the two of you. I believe things would end up for the better."

"Huh." With the campsite in our view, we both stop walking at the same time, with some unspoken agreement. I look at him. "I guess that makes sense...why do you care, anyways?"

Itachi gives me a small, humorless smile. "Perhaps I just don't want to hear another argument between the two of you."

I grin before continuing to walk toward the campsite. Somehow talking to Itachi has calmed me down, given me more confidence. I stride forward fearlessly. Joseph, Kisame, Hidan, Kakuzu, Tobi, and Sasori are all sitting around the dead campfire talking.

"Yo, Blondie!" Hidan shouts as soon as he sees me. "Your bitch is back!"

I pick up a rock and throw it at him, hard. It hits him in the chest and bounces off. "Shut up, you dick!"

He sneers at me. "That didn't hurt, slut."

"I'm not a slut, douche dick!"

"That mark on your neck says otherwise, you gothic ho."

"Man-whore!"

"Bitch!"

"Dirty twat!"

"Dick sucker!"

"Cock rider!"

"Would you two pipe down?" Kakuzu growls.

"Yeah, you're giving me a headache," Joseph winces.

"MARI-CHAN!" I see Tobi coming just in time and manage to sidestep the forthcoming glomp. "Is it true that you love Deidara-sempai now?!"

"What? NO! Get away from me!" I snap.

"You hurt a guy's feelings, un," Deidara calls out. He was apparently in his tent, retreving something.

I look at him and swallow. Itachi's right. The sooner I get this over with, the better. I just need to find a way to get him alone for long enough to break the news. "You're too sensitive, then," I tell him dismissively, grabbing a seat. "What's for breakfast?"

Evantually they lose interest in me and go on with their usual chatter. Even Deidara gets drawn into an argument with Kisame about who shot more Oto members on the last mission, leaving me to contemplate the best way in which to first get him away from everyone else, and second how to break the news to him that I just wasn't interested.

After a moment Sasori turns to me. "You know, you've quite inconvenienced me, Mari," he tells me in an undertone, giving me a look like I'm being a paricularly annoying toddler.

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"Well," Sasori goes on in a voice low enough so we're the only ones that can hear, "you see, now that Deidara seems to have succeeded in his foolish endeavor, the information I had concerning the placebo effect is irrelevant. You've put me in a tight spot."

I reply with a smile that's really more of a sneer. "_So _sorry to be a bother," I apologize in a voice dripping with sarcasm.

Sasori smirks. "I suppose I'll have to search for some other information to my advantage..."

"Piss off."

"You're as pleasant as ever, I see."

"Whatever, man." I stand up and stretch. "I'm dying for some chocolate, is there any left?"

"Nope," Joseph answers. "We ate it all last night."

"That sucks. Hey where's that store you guys went to last night?" I ask Hidan.

He shrugs. "It's just a ways down that fuckin road," he replies lazily, "they ought to be open..."

"In that case, I'll be back," I say over my shoulder, trying to act casual, but secretly crossing my fingers for luck inside my pocket. Come on, take the bait...

Just before I'm out of earshot, I hear Deidara say something that might've been "bathroom". I smile grimly.

He is kind of predictable.

I expect him to circle around and corner me as soon as possible, but I'm surprised when I actually get to the store and buy a couple chocolate bars without seeing hide or hair of him. I take a bite of my chocolate, thinking, _Huh, I guess he really did just have to go to the bathroom... _This is annoying, because I was counting on bring able to talk to Deidara this way. Now I have to come up with something else.

I pass a particularly thick piece of forest-

And that's when he jumps me.

I didn't even see where he came from. Just, all of a sudden I was knocked to the ground and on my back away from the road with that idiotic blond snickering, and I swear my only thought was _Yeah, because he couldn't just approach me like a normal person, could he?_

"Gotcha, un!"

"Congratulations," I deadpan. "Now do you mind...?" He's pinning me again. This is ridiculous. See, this is why I never should have let him kiss me, now he thinks he can just pull this kind of shit whenever he feels like it.

"Mind what, hm?"

"Get off, man!"

"No." That smirk is starting to seriously annoy me.

"Be serious, Deidara, I need to talk to you!"

"We can talk right here, un."

I sigh, then decide to choose my battles. "Look, Deidara, I think you got the wrong message from me. I don't really know when, but..." This is not working. He's just looking down at me with this incredibly smug, intense look. It's kind of distracting..."I'm sorry if I ever led you on, but I'm not looking for a-"

He's kissing me again. It's like all my thoughts are shrinking into nonexistance eaving nothing but thoughts of him-

I shake myself away after just a few seconds.

Deidara laughs softly. "You taste like chocolate, un."

"Dammit, Deidara, listen to me!" I snap. "You can't just do that whenever you want!"

"Dissapearing first thing in the morning with that Uchiha," he says huskily, evidently ignoring everything I'm saying. "Are you trying to make me jealous, hm?"

"Are you even _listening?" _I ask shrilly.

"Nope."

I twist my arms around his and pull them off my shoulders, sliding away from him. He rolls his eyes and backs up enough that we're both sitting down across from each other. "What, Mari, what? Why do you have to make things so complicated?"

"_Me _make it complicated?! You're the one who keeps trying to feel me up!"

"So?" Deidara asks in exasperation.

"_SO," _I say, an anger mark throbbing above my forehead, "I don't want you to! Deidara, I don't want to date anyone. It's not you, it's-"

He reaches out and softly cups my chin. I find it increasingly hard to remember what I was talking about. "It's...I mean...I'm..."

He smirks. "Mari, do you always have to act so tough?"

I want to get away, but I don't. Why does it effect me so strongly when he touches me? It's so irriational, so stupid, that my brain and my body can never seem to agree with each other.

He gets closer. "What are you afriad of, hm?" he whispers in my ear.

I swallow. "What do you want?"

He pauses, his lips on my jawbone. "I want you to be mine, un."

Something happens in my chest, warm and overpowering. It's not physical, it's something else, something so strong I wouldn't have thought I was capable of it. I look at Deidara and realize he's on his way to becoming one of the vanishingly few people I want by my side, who I want to protect. Who I care about. I could fight it with everything in me and it still wouldn't change anything. I can't control who I care about or who I would fight to protect. It just happens. And now I know Deidara is up there along with my brother, best friend and teammates, even more than the rest of the Akatsuki. He's my friend. He's...maybe more than that by now.

For months, he's been persuing me, with a single-minded determination. Why? Why try so hard for someone you don't care about? I think about his casual joking demeanor, his fixation with fire, the way he fights -with nothing held back. And...I'm not sure how I feel, but I know I don't hate him. I just want to hug him and sit around and play videogames. I don't want to push him away.

This feeling is so new, seemingly so fragile, that I don't want to lose it. I want to hold it in my hands.

Almost like he knows what I'm thinking, he kisses me again, and I let him. It's not all aggressive and overpowering like before, just soft and nice. After a few moments I push on his chest to let him know the moment's passed. When he doesn't pull back, I push harder, nad he finally releases.

I sigh. "Well, this was a fail."

He grins.

I stand up. "Come on. Let's go back to camp, man."

I start walking back without waiting for him. After a second I hear rustling and he sidles up beside me.

I don't look at him, worrying that I made the wrong decision. I've never dated anyone before, I don't know what to do. And what if he doesn't really care, what if he just wanted to prove he could? And does this mean I've changed? I think about it, and no. I don't feel different. I'm still Mari, just with another person in my life who matters.

I'm still me.

His hand takes mine and suddenly all these thoughts fly away to the other side of the moon.

The tongue on his hand licks mine, and it's only slightly gross.

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><p><strong>Well, I did my best. Once again, romance is <em>not <em>my strong suit. Don't go drawing crazy conclusions from this chapter, guys, just take it at face value. **

**I'm really more excited about Mari learning ninja arts than I am about MarixDei finally happening, but then it's a relatively new idea to me. To make it clear: The Akatsuki _do not _have the same abilities they do in regular Naruto. Their jutsus are spectacular for the world they live in in this fic, but much weaker than they would be in the manga. For example, Itachi cannot (at the moment) use Mangyeko Sharingan, only the basic functions of the Sharingan eye. The only one who has very little limitations on their abilities is, as Itachi said earlier, Zetsu, because it seems to me that his abilities are more a part of his body than something that would be learned and passed down or knowledge that had been stolen, as the rest of the Akatsuki's jutsus are.**

**-amy out**


	47. Need

**Yo, it's Amy again with another radical update. There's a bit of fluff in this chapter and not a lot of action, kind of short, please don't hold it against me.**

**Lyrics from Diary of Jane by Breaking Benjamin and Sober by Kelly Clarkson.**

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><p><em>If I had to, <em>

_I would put myself right beside you._

_So let me ask,_

_Would you like that?_

_Would you like that?_

_And I don't mind, _

_If you say this love is the last time_

_So let me ask would you like that?_

_Would you like that? NO!_

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><p>Deidara felt both victorious and frustrated. On one hand, he'd won! Mari was finally his. But on the other, he could tell she was still holding back. Throughout the entire rest of the camping trip, she hadn't been particularly bitchy (well, any more than normal), but she hadn't treated him any different from before. If anything, she was being downright cold. The whole time, she'd barely touched him. She almost seemed to be avoiding him.<p>

It didn't sit well.

This isn't how girls usually were with their first boyfriend. Especially when that boyfriend was, well, him.

He had to figure out what her problem was, because the point wasn't just for them to be technically dating. He wanted her to be wrapped around his finger, otherwise what was the point?

He suspected that her reluctance was rooted in fear. He couldn't pin down exactly why he thought that, but something in the way she stiffened when he touched her, or the way her smile was obviously forced when he tried to flirt, confirmed his suspicion that she was still, _still, _running.

_If I had to, _

_I would put myself right beside you..._

He could hear the song through the whine of her earphones -which Tough Girl even brought with her to go _camping- _as she climbed into the backseat of Itachi's car, looking troubled. _What in the world goes on in her head, hm?_

Deidara brooded all the way home.

* * *

><p><em>I'm in a man's lap, crying. My face is on his shoulder and my hands are bunched in his T-shirt. <em>

_His body shifts and suddenly I'm not crying, his tongue is on the soft part of my neck...and...I move my leg on the other side of him so that I'm facing him._

_His body shakes with laughter as his hand roams up my back. He bites me, licks the blood._

_"I'll hurt you more," he whispers maliciously._

_I pull back and see his eyes. _

_His smug, triumphant, cruel blue eyes._

_I try to pull away but can't. My arms won't move. I sit, wide-eyed and frozen, as his mouth touches mine._

_I taste my blood on his tongue._

"FU-AGH!"

I fall of the bed, stunned. "What the..."

I blink a couple of times before realizing: I was dreaming.

A feeling of dread creeps up over my shoulder, making me shudder involuntarily.

Dreaming. About _him._

I rub my neck over the still-sore spot and am finally forced to admit something to myself:

I am a complete basket case.

I wish I could tell myself that this was just a physical thing. That would be embarrassing enough, but I could deal with it. Now that I've experienced it, I'm confident I could handle something like that. But unfortunately that's not the case. What I used to consider cautious friendship and gang-like camaraderie is now full-blown affection. It's like I always want him around. I want to act like a complete boy-crazy moron, shamelessly enjoying his company.

And that's why I've been forcing myself not to.

I can't _stand _the idea of being emotionally reliant on someone. It's a horrible position to be in, not to mention degrading. The issue isn't even so much that I resent Deidara anymore. The issue is that I hate the idea of needing anyone or anything, and this..._demand _I seem to have for him now may very well morph into a need.

And now I_'_m _dreaming _about him? Will it never end!

_Why can't I just enjoy this, if I already have to take all this crap from Joseph? _I wonder miserably.

_Why do I have to be so_ weird?

I guess I might feel this way because of my family. I've watched them go through hell and back because of their dependence on each other. And it didn't escape my notice that the one who needed the other the most, Dad, ended up with the worse end of the bargain.

Need is a death sentence.

_Heaven knows_

_This could break my heart_

_Or save me..._

And there's another thing that's been bothering me lately, much more serious than my petty "relationship" issues (if you could call it that). The images of my sad, demented teenage dreamland are overshadowed by images of the violent, demented things I'm now doing with the Akatsuki ring on my finger.

_Nothing's real_

_Until you let go completely..._

Those men...I killed them. One of them, I tortured first, however briefly. Horrible, bloody, awful deaths. Yes, at the time they seemed justified, seeing as they were holding four children captive and probably about to do much worse, but who gave me the right to play judge, jury, and executioner? If I had known the things I would be doing now, a year ago, I wouldn't have been able to believe it. I wouldn't have been able to believe I could be this person.

I've lost track of how many missions I've been on, but I'll never lose track of the people I've killed. I see their faces. I'll never be free of them. The sobbing girl. the man on the street aiming for a house under our protection. Those two men from the other night. And, almost definitely more, ones I shot or hit in the head and didn't stick around to see whether they'd made it or not. How many people have bled out on the street from a wound I gave them? How many died surrounded by sobbing family members in a hospital after a blow to the head I dealt? How many of their brothers and sisters now cry out for my blood, my death?

_How will this violence, this _murder, _contribute to some 'greater good'? _I wonder miserably. _All we're doing is adding more hate to this world._

How long will it be before none of this bothers me? And how could I just go along, following blindly the bloody schemes of a madman?

I grit my teeth, steeling myself. I've got to keep it together. _You are an Akatski now, _I tell myself sternly. _Willingly or unwillingly. These are the cards you've been dealt!_

I need to talk to someone. Maybe that would help, to try and release verbally the horror of having taken a life. Not Joseph; she's never killed anyone before, not like this. The was visibly shaken from the ordeal when she was my backup; she was trying desperately to sound unconcerned, and I don't think anyone noticed it but me, but it sounded like she was almost shot. She may be hard, but she's still a civilian.

I think about that, the ironic feeling of thinking of one's best friend as a civilian.

Itachi might be a candidate, but I can't bring myself to do it. I already rely on him way too much. (Again with the dangers of needing someone.) Besides, he's my teammate, and the unspoken leader of our three-main pack. His businesslike code of decorum has rubbed off on me. I feel like it would be...unprofessional.

I scowl and sit up, sore and hungry.

My life, frankly, sucks.

* * *

><p>A few minutes later, as I'm eating my cereal, I hear Deidara sleepily enter the room, begin opening drawers, looking for food. He's behind me, only a few feet away...I get goosebumps on my back. The same feeling I've been having, that alien feeling of closeness and want, rises up in me and I remember my stupid, <em>stupid <em>dream and before I know it-

"I killed two guys the other night, man."

I hear Deidara pause, then chuckle a bit- maybe nervously? "You trying to brag, hm? Because two is nothing, un."

A feeling of deep irritation helps to keep the other feeling in check. Of course, he is still Deidara. "No, dumbshit, I'm not _bragging. _I don't like killing people. How the fuck can you be so damn flippant about it?" I demand angrily.

He grunts. "Easy. I don't particularly care who's on the receiving end of my art, un."

I curl my lip in disgust. "I should've known."

He clears his throat. "But, uh...I can see it still others you? Hm?"

I don't like the way he says 'still'. Like it's a temporary annoyance. Like I'm just a late bloomer. I grunt. "Did it _ever _bother you?"

"...I guess it would've. When I was young." He sounds uncomfortable and doesn't elaborate, but I'm curious.

"What...I mean..." I start, cautiously.

"I don't want to talk about it, un." He cuts me off harshly.

Hmph. Typical. But I guess I don't really have a right to pry. absent-mindedly I get out a red lighter and flick it on, staring at the dancing of the flame. "How'd you get started on the whole pyromania, art thing, man?"

He laughs. "How'd _you _get started on music, hm?"

I think back. "I didn't, really. I was born with it. It's a part of me...although that sounds pretty cheesy."

"So you do get it," Deidara says approvingly. "As an artist I make a point to appreciate the efforts of my fellow artists, un."

I wait. "...And?" I prompt him.

He raises an eyebrow at me. "And your art still pales in comparison to mine, un!"

I roll my eyes. "Is a vague compliment too much to ask, man?"

"When have you ever complimented _my_ art, hm?"

"When I _saw _it?" I remind him. "Right before you pushed me down and ran away?"

"Oh yeah." He grins. "That was fun, un."

I poke him. "I'm still annoyed about that, you know. But seriously..." I frown. "About..."

"Killing people?" Deidara shrugs. "Look, the only advice I can give you is, don't dwell on it. Getting all bummed out isn't gonna help. How about instead of thinking about things that depress you, you get your mind on something else?"

Like a complete jackass, I fall for it. "Like what?"

He leans forward, with a shit-eating grin. "I've got some ideas, un..."

"Stop it."

"Why should I?" he demands, leaning back casually, but noticeably blocking me between him, the table, and wall. "What's the problem, Tough Girl?"

_And I don't mind,_

_If you say this love is the last time_

"I don't feel like it, man."

"Bullshit. Come on, Mari..."

_So let me ask, would you like that?_

_Would you like that?_

"No!" I snap, pushing him away.

He glares at me in frustration. "Well, do you mind telling me _why, _hm?"

I push him out of my way. "I don't have to fucking explain myself to you. Besides, why should I let you stick your tongue down my throat? I hardly know you, man."

He looks at me incredulously. "Yes, you do, un!"

"I don't know anything about you. You won't even tell me what your childhood was like. You know all kinds of things about me."

"Why does that matter, hm?"

"It just does, okay?" I maneuver past him, walking away, but at the last minute I decide to say something else. "It's just...this is hard for me, alright? I kinda...have some issues."

Deidara puts his hand to his forehead, looking tired. "Why do you have to make things so damn complicated?"

I don't know, so I don't answer him. I just retreat back to my room, taking my bowl of cereal with me.

* * *

><p>We spend most of the day avoiding each other. Joseph is looking so exasperatedly curious that I can practically see question marks in her eyes, but she doesn't pry for answers, sensing I need my own time. No mission today, I just watch some TV, do daily training with Kisame and Itachi (Kisame's a damn show-off, by the way. He tried to use me as a dumbell when he wanted to lift weights. I told him to piss off) drop in at the Rotting Branch for a short performance, and came home late, crawling in bed alone, Joseph still working night shifts at her part-time job.<p>

I lay on my bed sideways, my left arm under my head and hair covering my face, feeling drained and miserable. I heard him open the trapdoor of my room, pause, an walk toward me, and instinctively I know it's Deidara. Don't ask me how, I just do. I guess I'm starting to know him well enough that the back of my mind recognizes the noise he makes as he walks.

I don't object when he sits behind me on the bed, making it dip down from his weight. "Hey, Tough Girl," he says softly. "You asleep, hm?"

"What would you've done if I was?" I answer, muffled through the pillow.

He puts a hand on my shoulder and I let him roll me over onto my back. I'm not bothered my the proximity, although he is really, really close, inches away,leaning over me with that look that always seems to either infuriate or captivate me. This time it's the latter. A part of me in the back of my mind, the proud, angry, scared part, is urging me to push him away, but I think I'm sick of what happens every time I do that, and my steak of recklessness is burning particularly brightly today. I want to see what happens if I don't.

A second later he reaches toward my face. He's wearing his gloves; but he's going to brush the hair out of my face, and I don't like the idea of him leaning over me, playing with my hair, like I'm some kind of plaything. I don't want him to be in control. I brush his hand away, and am surprised when he looks confused and almost hurt. I wonder why I'm like this -I can't trust if I could, I still wouldn't let myself be at someone else's mercy. I wouldn't let myself get too close. My pride, and seemingly pathological fear of needing someone, wouldn't let me.

He looks away. I take a deep breath.

"My dad was a sick son of a bitch, un."

I look up, shocked. Deidara's facing completely away from me, speaking in a toneless voice.

"I was always...afraid of him, growing up. My mom tried to protect me, but she was scared of him, too. He'd beat her. He was the worst kind of guy, that asshole."

I can hear the unadulterated hatred in his voice. I'm afraid to even move.

"One time, when I was nine, he was drunk and going crazy, and mom got in his way. He beat her to death."

I bite my lip.

"I lost it. The stove was on, so I ran up behind him and pushed him onto it. He had whiskey all over him...very flammable. It only took a few minutes before the whole house was burning.

"I never looked back, un."

I swallow..."I'm sorry."

He shrugs, then turns back to me, trying very hard to seem unaffected. "It's in the past."

We sit quietly for a few minutes.

"Thank you," I say quietly.

He smiles at me, just a little.

We talk about some inconsequential things for a while. Later on, he tries again to move my hair out of my face, and this time I let him. He pushes me toward the bed, and I let him, letting myself slip into oblivion, for awhile burying my fear, my pride and reluctance.

Ignoring the need.

* * *

><p><strong>YES! DONE! FINALLY! <strong>

**I finished this in time to upload by the skin of my frickin' teeth! :D**

**Please review!**

**-amy out**


	48. This Is Bad

**I just now thought about how calling the anger management guy 'Faggot' might be offensive to someone, somewhere. Therefore I have to make this disclaimer: I'm not homophobic. My uncle is gay, actually, and he's awesome, so even though I'm situated down here in the hillbilly hell known as the Bible Belt, I don't have a problem with gayness.**

**I just think 'faggot' is a really effective insult.**

**Lyrics in this chapter are from Don't Wanna Be In Love by Good Charlotte. **

* * *

><p>"So, you see Mari, anger is really just a subconscious expression of fear," Faggot explains.<p>

I glare at him. "Really? In that case, my subconscious must be fucking terrified of you."

Snickers sound from around the room, from two or three apparently angry guys I haven't bothered to learn the names of, and from Temari and Kiba (Tenten has graduated already). Even the Faggot gives me an indulgent smile before continuing, "All joking aside-"

"Who's joking?"

"-We get angry because we don't know how else to deal with things that trouble us. We get angry to push our problems away."

"Excuse me," I interrupt, "but I got sent here because of sticking up for a friend who was getting bullied. And I was mad at them, but I handled the situation calmly and logically." Damn you Itachi, now I'm quoting you even when I don't mean to. Quit being all wise and insightful and stuff. "The situation just happened to require violence on my part."

"And I don't blame you for that," Faggot answers calmly. I have to admit, I'm a little impressed by his ability to not get pissed off at me no matter how insufferable I'm being. I guess that's why he's an anger management counselor. "The issue with your case is, if I'm to believe your school principal, you had shown various prior indications of being a prisoner of rage-"

"Okay, man, can you just..." I interrupt. "Please don't say that."

"Say what?"

"'Prisoner of rage'?" I ask, making the 'quotes' hand gesture. "Really? Isn't that a little overdramatic?" And stupid.

"Are you trying to change the subject?"

"No."

"Good, because what I was saying was important." He clears his throat. "Besides which, you come across as an extremely angry person."

"Do I now?" I ask sarcastically.

"You do. Now," he pauses, searching through his man purse (I shit you not) for something. He emerges a moment later with a small notebook. "You seem like a smart young woman. I have a feeling that, although you're obviously not cool with me, you can also be very charming."

I blink, a little taken aback. "Um."

"So, here's what I would like you to do." He hands me the notebook and I take it. It's small, thin, and dark green. "Keep a short journal of things that make you angry, why you believe that is, and how you might be able to handle your anger better. Feel free to vent all you like, but please Mari, don't waste my time. I can tell when people are, well, for lack of a more polite term, bullshitting me."

I try very hard to conceal my shock, but I don't think I'm very successful. "I'll be damned, Bill. You have a pottymouth."

He smiles at me slightly. "When it suits me." All seriousness, he straightens up. "You've been coming to these meetings for nearly a month now, and haven't made any progress. My job isn't to get you to like me, Sui-san, it's to teach you to be a functional adult. If you're more comfortable doing that on your own, by all means be my guest."

I nod. Could the impossible be happening? Is he actually failing to bug the shit out of me today? "I understand."

"Good. Class dismissed."

As I stand up to leave, Kiba approaches me, smirking, which is how a great deal of these meetings end. "Well, what do you know," he starts. "You really have a way of bringing out _interesting _things in people, Firecracker-chan," he says as we exit the building.

I grimace, the single mention of pyrotechnics making me think of The Fucking Pyro. "Don't call me that."

"Why not, Firecracker-chan?" He asks me, eyes full of fake innocence. "I think it's a fitting name for you, whyever wouldn't I use it, Fi-"

I elbow him in the gut, but not hard enough that it could be considered assault. "Watch it, Dog Boy. I'm not in a gang for nothing, man."

"Huh." He rubs his abdomen as we walk toward his car (Kiba has graciously agreed to drive me to the Rotting Branch, since I have a shift tonight and it's on his way). "You know, for some reason it's easy to forget you're in a gang, ne?"

I make my most ridiculous puppy-dog face. "Is it my _innocent charms?" _I ask, fluttering my eyelashes absurdly.

Kiba laughs rather harder than necessary at that, and I don't know whether to be annoyed or gratified. His laugh is like a bark. Strange child.

"I was thinking more along the lines of you singing pop songs every night at my family's bar."

I roll my eyes. "For the ten _thousandth _time, Kiba, I can't help it if idiot twenty-year-olds have awful tastes in music. I have to sing what's popular most of the time. I actually only get to choose two songs for myself a night, you know?" They usually have me sing about ten songs, thee, three, and four, with breaks in between. Sometimes more than that, but I don't mind. I'm more comfortable onstage now, but the thrill of performing will never really go away. How could it? I love everything about it, from the all-or-nothing feeling of performing, wondering if I'll screw it up (which has happened a few times. You just have to laugh it off and power through), to the way you can really lose yourself in the music. I don't even care if the drunkards are watching me or not. It's almost similar to fighting in the way the energy can be so intoxicating, you almost feel high.

"What are you thinking about?"

"Huh?"

"You have this dreamy look on your face."

I grin. "Did you just call me _dreamy, _Inuzuka?"

He grins at me in the way that shows off his razor-sharp canines. He really does act dog-esque sometimes, which really works because I've always been a dog person. I just feel really at ease around him, same as with Naruto. Speaking of, "Hey, I haven't heard from that blond goofball in a while. You heard anything from him, man?"

I expect Kiba to make a joke, but instead, he frowns, like he's going over something really troubling in his mind. "Uzmaki, right?"

I nod. "Right. What, is something wrong?"

"I thought you knew." Kiba scowls. "Apparently the kid is being taught ninja arts."

My jaw drops. "_What?" _I was sure that learning ninja arts was completely off-limits to civilians! In fact, Itachi himself told me never to let a police officer catch me using any or my face would be in the most-wanted list faster than you could say "Busted no Jutsu". He even said I'm forbidden to even think about using the one he's teaching me until I not only master it, but the art of 'stealth and subtlety' as well. Speaking of, it turns out my chakra type is fire, the same as Itachi's. I could swear he just barely smiled when that piece of contraband paper burst into flame (although he denied it when I asked). Apparently he's going to teach me something called "Fireball no Justu", whatever the hell that is.

"I know, it's insane." He sounds disgruntled. "Why _him? _He and that bastard Sasuke-"

"_What?" _

"And that pink-haired bimbo."

"_Sakura's gonna be a ninja?" _Not to insult Sakura or anything, but that's one of the most unlikely things I've ever heard of in my life. Sakura is great, and God knows I love her, but seriously, she's just a...well, a girl. A simple, pretty, law-abiding, slightly shallow-seeming girl. She doesn't seem like a ninja type by _anyone's _standards. And Naruto? Are you kidding? He seems to have more substance to him, but still, he's...well, he's _Naruto! _Who in their right mind would entrust that goofball with state secrets? Sasuke at least seems the ninja type, but he's also the last person I would like to be able to know how to kill someone with one finger and make it look like an accident.

Kiba wrinkles his nose. "I don't get it, either. They're all learning from some elitist old farts whose families taught them. I heard Sakura is learning from Tsunade."

"_HUH?" _

"A lot of teachers in the school know some jutsu," Kiba says flippantly. "It's, like, a sign of prestige if you can teach yourself to be a half-decent ninja and get away with it. I've been trying to get my folks to at least teach me some chakra control, but no luck."

I don't know whether to be completely dismayed or disappointed. I was so excited to begin learning jutsu (although at the moment, I frankly stink to high heaven. Seriously, Itachi looked like he was having a hard time not joining Kisame in trash-talking my pathetic attempt at chakra control. the only positive thing he had to say was that he sensed I had high chakra reserves, so as soon as I actually achieve competence at this thing, I should be able to hold it fairly well), thinking it was something only a spare handful of people in the world knew, and yet it turns out all you have to be is rich and sneaky with connections. I wonder how many unregistered self-taught 'ninja' there are out there?

We pull up to The Rotting Branch, my brain still awhirl with possibilities and suspicion. If everyone higher-up likes to learn jutsu just to show off, then what the hell kind of society do we live in? Especially considering no one really knows much about it. I know that even a small amount of ninja arts can make you virtually unstoppable to the average citizen. If we have elites and officials this much more competent than the average citizen, it speaks volumes about how much even _less _powerful your average citizen is.

The idea, to put it mildly, does not sit well with me.

"Well, I think I recall Naruto saying something about being worried about you," Kiba goes on as we enter the bar. "The company you keep."

I roll my eyes. "Tell him I can handle myself. Besides, if he's so worried, why doesn't he ever stop by?"

"How's he supposed to know where you live, or whether you'd even let him in? You're not exactly a social butterfly, Mari."

"Don't be ridiculous, Naruto-kun knows me better than that, man." I check the clock on the wall; I have a few minutes before I have to go onstage.

"You can be a little hard to read."

"Whatever, man." I order a soda and we sit at the bar together. "I'm still trying to process the ninja thing. Damn, people are nuts, man."

"You're one to talk."

"Hn." God dammit Itachi. Who gave him the right to rub off on me?

I spend the next hour chatting with Kiba, then singing a couple crappy pop songs (Damn Ke$ha and Nikki Minaj to hell, is all I can say), then ordering a drink or two, then arguing with Kiba over whether it's his business or not if I drink a couple maragaritas, (It totally isn't.) then going back to singing.

"_She's goin' out to forget they were together,_

_All this time he was taking her for granted_

_She wants to see_

_If there's more_

_Than he gave_

_She's looking for..."_

I guess someone here has decent taste. I would've preferred Riot Girl, but either way Good Charlotte is a good song to jam to. "_He calls her up,_

_He's trippin' on the phone now,_

_He doesn't want _

_Her out there all alone now..."_

Kiba's going through his smart phone, texting somebody. I wonder who. I sing along with the lyrics I've long since memorized thoughtlessly. "_Everybody,_

_Put up your hands,_

_Say I don't want to be in love, _

_I don't want to be in love..."_

Speaking of which, in case you're wondering, Joseph has been damn near insufferable lately. You have not met smugness until you've met my best friend after Deidara insisted on making the fact that I let him sleep in my bed public. She insisted on trying my patience by being all like "second base? third base? did he try to make a play?" All of a sudden she becomes a goddamn baseball commentator.

Idiot.

Competing with her for the title of Most Annoyingly Smug Douchebag Alive is of course, the pyromaniac himself, Deidara. It's not that I don't enjoy his company overall, or that I'm so incredibly embarrassed for the rest of the Akatsuki to know we're ..._involved. _It's just that he is too damn aggressive about it. I'll hold is hand, that's kind of nice, I'll let him kiss me in front of others occaisionally (although that makes me feel incredibly awkward. Whoever the hell invented PDA is a sick, kinky fucking bastard. Seriously, I hate it) have to draw the line at him trying to like, put his hand in my pocket or something. Why does he have to act all different now, anyways? Why can't he just act like a normal person?

Life is complicated. "_Feel the beat now, if you've got nothing left,_

_Say I don't wanna be in love, I don't wanna be in lo-ove!"_

* * *

><p>"This is bad," Kisame mutters under his breath. "This is <em>bad."<em>

"Dammit, would you stop sounding nervous?" I gripe at him. "You're Kisame! You're not allowed to be nervous, man!"

"Oh, I'm sorry," Kisame answers sarcastically. "What I meant to say was, it's so great that Orouchimaru's got the police on their payroll. Just peachy."

"You're not allowed to be snarky, either!"

"Since when?"

"Since I fucking said so!"

"Hush," Itachi sharply reprimands, and we both fall silent. "I was able to attach a tracking device to one of the officers. Chances are it will lead us to their meeting site."

The three of us are squatting in Itachi's parked car, watching two officers climb into their squad car. Itachi's sharingan is spinning and Kisame has binoculars. Meanwhile the newbie has to just squint and look at three small figures in the distance. "Would it have been too much trouble to attach a listening device, too?" I ask as the figures start to walk away from each other.

"We would not get much audio information from the officer's shoe."

I grunt in irritation, trying to mask my worry. Oto having a deal with the police is bad, bad news. This means all the corrupt cops will be turning a blind eye to their crimes, while all of ours will be in the freaking spotlight. Besides which, depending on how many of the cops are paid off, even Oto's new bad habit of kidnapping children and enticing them into fighting for them will go unnoticed and unchecked. The police force may even be helping to fund and supply Oto behind the scenes. Who knows? Oto is very competent in getting what they want.

Although not as competent as the Akatsuki.

Itachi stealthily follows the officers from several blocks away as they drive out of town with their lights and sirens hidden inside their car. Me and Kisame sit in stony silence as the sky darkens and the officers pull into an old, abandoned parking lot and wait.

"We need a good vantage point," Kisame point out. He's right. We can't exactly pull into the same parking lot and watch them; the thing is practically empty, with a wide-open space next to it with nothing available to hide a car.

I frown, looking at the old K-Mart they're situated in front of. Then I get an idea. "We could break in through the back. Me and Joseph did these kinds of things all the time."

Itachi and Kisame glance at me, then back at each other.

* * *

><p>"Hurry up, man!"<p>

"This isn't as easy for me as it is for you, okay!" Kisame snaps.

My strategy for getting into buildings is fairly straightforward: contrary to popular belief, most small stores don't have alarms on their windows. How could they? They're a lot more expensive than they look. I just chuck a brick through a window, listen for sirens, and if none are forthcoming (they usually aren't), climb through. I managed it with only a scrape. Itachi didn't even get that.

Kisame, however, seems to be stuck.

"We don't have time for this, man!" I say, voicing everyone's opinion.

"Agreed. Kisame, watch from the roof," Itachi says. Kisame looks pissed, glaring at me as if it's _my _fault he's super-tall and has insanely wide shoulders, before wiggling back out and doing as Itachi says.

As me and Itachi make our way slowly through the store until we can see out the tinted front window, I think to myself about how compelling Itachi's aura of authority is. I've never met someone who commands so much attention and respect just by sitting there, not reacting to anything. Pain has a definite air of authority, but that comes from fear and the mutual understanding that he could smite you in an instant if he so pleased. Itachi just has this demeanor that is hard not to be impressed by. Everything just sounds more sensible coming from him.

When we make it to the window, a car has already pulled up beside the cop's, and our old friend Kabuto is standing there, talking to the cops with an arrogant demeanor. I swear I can feel the Killing Intent radiating off of Itachi. The interaction only takes a couple of seconds; Kabuto hands them a briefcase, they hand him-

I gasp. They're unloading a veritable artillery of guns into Kabuto's car! I don't know if you know this or not, but it's fairly hard to get one's hands on good guns without registering for them, which for obvious reasons, isn't a possibility. We have to make deals with various members of Konoha's underbelly to get the weapons we currently have, and it's not easy. That's why seeing Kabuto standing smugly by as the cops unload weapon after weapon into his trunk makes me break out into a cold sweat.

I swallow as I set my sights on one particularly nasty-looking sniper scope. "Itachi..."

"This is bad."

"Oh, hell, not you too!"

Itachi gives me his "cut-the-shit" look. "I'm merely stating the facts."

I bite my lip, worried. With those kinds of weapons they could just mow us down in a fight. "We have to do something, man!"

"In front of two police officers?"

"We could just...well..." I stall, unwilling to actually suggest killing two officers whose only real crime is being susceptible to bribes. That's not exactly first-degree murder.

"Our position is unfavorable for an attack at the moment," Itachi cuts me off. "Besides which, the issue is more than likely larger than just two officers. We'll have to tail them."

Itachi motions for us to scoot back. We do, and stand up nearer to the back. Itachi looks down on me, the shadows of the store accentuating the lines on his face.

"You are not going to like this, Mari."

"What?" I ask warily.

"Kisame and I will tail Kabuto alone. You are to commandeer a different vehicle and inform Leader-sama of this immediately."

My mouth gapes open in outrage. "_What? _No way!" Not only missing the action, but also a chance to land a well-deserved revenge blow to that smug little asswipe's nether regions? Unacceptable! Besides, no way do I want to talk to Leader about this. He's fucking scary.

"Kisame and I will work more efficiently in a two-man team, and this is vital intel for Pain to hear," Itachi tells me reprovingly, glaring. "Furthermore, every second I waste arguing with you is time lost. My decision is final."

He walks toward the exit, apparently considering the matter closed.

I scowl after him. Arrogant prick. But what else can I do? Out of sheer irritation I kick a rack of clothes down as I follow him.

* * *

><p>'Commandeering' a car is so much fun I can't believe I've never done it before.<p>

I mean, Itachi taught me how to do this ages ago, and I've never even tried. Every second of it, from sneaking into someone's carport to getting the wires to spark to wiping everything I touch with fingerprints afterward, is so exciting, the adrenaline rush almost makes up for missing the fight. Every little sound I make sounds as loud as a gunshot to me, and when the engine finally roars to life, I drive out of there so fast it would make a speedometer explode.

Evantually I slow it down, since getting pulled over is the absolute _last_ thing I need right now. I haven't driven cars very often before, so I'm worried I'll make some kind of fatal screw-up, but all goes well. I ditch the car a few blocks away, making sure to meticulously wipe for fingerprints and take the carpeting and the seatcover in the front seat with me. Itachi told me many times how much can be gleaned from DNA samples and has hammered it into my head not to leave evidence behind so much that I couldn't stand not to.

I didn't know where I could safely stash them, thus, I ran the last couple of blocks home with huge heavy mats and carpets under my arm, looking (probably) very ridiculous.

I stash them in the garage and burst into the living room with a purpose. The first person I see is Hidan.

"Is Leader here?"

"Yeah, back fucking room. Hey, aren't you supposed to-"

I didn't hear anything else, as I was already in the hallway. I knock on the door, but don't wait for him to say "come in" before I do.

Pain glares at me harshly and I have to force myself not to swallow nervously. "Might I ask," Pain starts so slowly it sounds like he's taking time to enunciate every letter, "what you are doing here when I have sent your team on a mission?"

"Itachi sent me back," I explain. "Oto is paying off cops. We just saw Kabuto get a huge supply of weapons from them, so much they make ours look like a bunch of slingshots. Itachi and Kisame are tailing them, but I don't know how it's going."

* * *

><p>"Isn't this a surprise," Kabuto drawled as the two revealed themselves, stepping out of their cars. Itachi noted with unease the way Kabuto had deliberately driven into an alley, so as not to be seen. He took note of the surrounding houses for furture reference.<p>

"So, Oto's paying off the five-oh now?" Kisame sneered. "Pathetic."

"No, no," Kabuto said. "What's pathetic is that tracking device you had pinned to that officer's foot. Really, Itachi, I've come to expect better from you."

This was bad. Kabuto went on, "That idiot of a policeman might not have noticed it, but it was really very sloppy for you."

"So what?" Kisame scowled, readying himself. "We've got you cornered in an alley, all alone, you little shit. Time to die."

"My partner is correct," Itachi agreed as he himself took an aggressive stance. "We cannot let you keep those."

"You seem to be mistaken," Kabuto contradicted them. He whistled with two fingers, and almost immediately, Oto members jumped over the fences of the surrounding yards, including the infamous Sound Five. "...about who are the ones cornered here."

This was very bad.

* * *

><p>Pain's eyes narrowed and he stood up. "Where were they last positioned?"<p>

"The K-Mart on the west side of town."

"Send Hidan and Kakuzu in immediately," Pain instructs me, anger flowing from his voice.

I nod and back out of the room quickly, doing as I am instructed.

* * *

><p><strong>Ta-daaaa. As many of you might've guessed, I'm currently working on the final arc of this story, and I intend it to be as good as possible. I hope you enjoy this more than the previous chapter (only like four reviews. My heart bleeds.). <strong>

**Please review!**

**-amy out**


	49. No Shit, Sherlock

**Amy here, with another stupendous-fantastical-adorabloodthirsty update. **

**Lyrics from this chapter from Until the End by Breaking Benjamin.**

* * *

><p>I tap my fingers on the armrest of the car nervously, biting my lip as we ride to go assist Itachi and Kisame. The entire Akatsuki is going, since we can't afford for Oto to keep their hands on so many guns, or to lose Itachi. My hands keep sweating on the handle of my bat and I have to wipe it off.<p>

Sasori looks over his shoulder at me. "Make sure you have your safety on, brat."

Deidara grunts. "Of course I do, un."

"I'm talking to the other brat. She looks like she might set her gun off by accident."

Deidara looks at me critically. "He's right. You should calm down, Tough Girl. It's only the nervous ones that die, un."

"How can I _not _be nervous? Itachi and Kisame might be dead, man!"

Sasori chuckles drily. "I'm sure they can manage without your help, Mari."

Deidara glowers at me. I give him a weird look for a second. "What?"

"You're about to go into battle next to your boyfriend, and you're worried about the Uchiha, hm?"

I flinch at the word 'boyfriend'. "You're unbelievably childish, you know that?"

"Says the girl who claimed 'dibs' on the M-16," Sasori comments drily from the front seat. I flip him off, smiling a little. He smirks at me.

Deidara isn't mollified and slides his arm around my waist. "How about you set my mind at ease? A kiss for good luck, hm?"

I scowl. "No way. This isn't the time, man."

Deidara squeezes me, making my face flush momentarily. Damn him. "You're the least romantic girl I know, un," he pouts.

"You should be used to that by now." I look at the neighborhood we're in. Apparently all Akatuski members, including me, have trackers on their rings that only Pain or Konan can access at all times. "How close are we, Sasori?"

"Four blocks. Prepare yourselves."

We stop the car about a block away from where the tracker indicated Itachi and Kisame should be. I breathe a sigh of relief when I can hear gunshots and the sound of fighting, still, from the block in question. Fighting means they're still alive.

Sasori motions for the two of us to be quiet, even as I'm clicking the safety off and Deidara's preparing a small arsenal of bombs. As you might have guessed, 'quiet' is not our specialty. We make our way toward the scene of the fight steathily. Sasori directed us to the roof of a nearby house in order to survey the scene better.

What we're greeted with is nothing short of a bloodbath. Itachi and Kisame are fighting back-to-back against Kabuto and the Sound Five, tooth and nail. Bodies of blue-and-white clad Oto members litter the ground, and I swallow with dread as I see the gunshot wound in Kisame's thigh. He doesn't seem to be as concerned as I am about it, growling as he fends off Tayuya, a white-haired guy I vaugely remember, and some fatass with Samehada. Itachi is fighting a guy who also has white hair, but it's longer, and with two red dots above his forehead. This guy is fighting with bone-white weapons that give me the chills. Itachi is simutaneously fighting a tan guy with black hair who keeps spitting golden substances at him while Itachi dodges with the power and grace I've only ever seen him posess.

Meanwhile, Kabuto keeps his distance, shooting at Kisame and Itachi, who can't spare him a second glance. He keeps moving so swiftly and so unpredictably the entire time that I could never get a close shot on him.

I see Itachi's red eyes spinning with the deadly mangyeko, but these people seem to understand the dangers of looking him in the eye. I slowly realize with growing dread that this isn't just a gangfight. It's a battle of _shinboi._

I look at Sasori and he nods. I aim the M-16 at Kisame's opponents, take care not to make the mistake of hitting him, make sure I have a firm grip on the gun, and pull the trigger.

Several things happened at once.

First, the fat guy fighting Kisame shouted out in pain and fell.

Then, Kisame took advantage of his comrades' confusion in order to hit the other male he was fighting in the head hard enough to send him flying.

Kabuto quit trying to shoot Itachi and Kisame, looking in the direction the bullet came from. Mine. He narrows his eyes at me and starts to aim for me and I had no way to take cover that was when I knew, one hundred percent, that I was going to die.

Before that could happen, though, Sasori flicked a finger and Kabuto suddenly had trouble holding onto his gun, and Deidara decided that was the moment to make our presence known.

"ART IS A BLAST, UN!" he shouts as his bomb lands right at Itachi's feet.

Itachi acts as though the entire thing was planned, kicking it deftly toward his opponents and retreating faster than my eyes could follow to join Kisame in taking shelter behind a car. We three hit the deck.

BOOM. It wasn't so much a bomb as a ball of fire. It dissipated as quickly as it bloomed throughout the dark Konoha sky. I was impressed at the amount of restraint he'd shown.

I looked at Sasori. "You saved me."

He gives me an impassive look. "You are my comrade."

I would say I was touched if I wasn't at the moment so fucking terrified.

Deidara punches me on the shoulder lightly. "Hey, I saved you, too, you know, un."

"Yeah, yeah, my hero." We stand up and, without having to consult each other, know that we have to rejoin the fight on the street. "You think Itachi and Kisame are okay?"

"Hmph." Deidara grunts. "Of course they are. I wouldn't kill them for no reason, un."

"Mari, primary mission objective," Sasori instructs me. _Locate the weapons and either steal or destroy them. _"We'll cover you."

I nod and set out toward the flaming car I recognized as Kabuto's. I try to stay hidden on the way there, but when I arrive, I stand up straight and do the only thing I can think of: bash the trunk's lock with my baseball bat from my duct tape holster. The heat of the fire should have weakened the metal, and besides, it doesn't look that sturdy.

Sparks fly, burning me, but I ignore them until the trunk pops open. I pry it open with my bat, unwilling to touch the burning hot metal, and then place the bat so that it will hold the trunk open as I look through it for the weapons I least want Oto to have access to-

"Well, well. If it isn't the-"

I don't hesitate when I hear Kabuto's smug voice behind me. I swivel around and kick with speed I was nowhere near posessing when we last met, coming very close to hitting him in the groin. He blocks, matching my speed and raises his gun once more to face me. I feint as though to force his arm away from me and, when he points the gun away from me to keep it out of my reach, kick it out of his hands and away from him.

He takes it in stride and blocks my next attacks easily; I'm attacking with intent to kill but it doesn't phase him. Before long I'm forced to go on the defensive as it seems I'm still unable to match him completely in hand-to-hand combat. He actually succeeds in flipping me over his shoulder, but unluckily for him Itachi taught me exactly how to counteract this overused technique. I twist his arm in midair and position myself so as to land on my feet behind him. He twists his arm away before I can properly dislocate it, but I grab his throat from the back, lock my right arm around his throat, and pull it closer to me with my left hand, effectively choking him mercilessly.

Unfortunately for me, he then backs into a fence with sharp nails sticking out the back.

I scream, my grip releasing and Kabuto wrenching away as three inches of rusty nail enters my back in two different spots, and the scream increases in volume as I slide down to the floor, the nails ripping my skin shallowly but still very painfully. I fall to my hands and knees, eyes watering, trying to stand, but before I can Kabuto kicks me in the face.

It hurt. It hurt a lot. My neck especially. I roll to a stop and instinctively use the momentum to stand, panting and head spinning, but arms held out to continue the fight even though I can barely see straight.

My show of solidarity doesn't impress Kabuto in the least. "Pathetic," he snarls, no longer mocking, but angry as he stalks toward me. "You really think you're a match for me? Stupid little girl."

_Why give up?_

I can't help but agree with him at the moment. I think the nails peirced something important, because it's not just my back that hurts agonizingly, it's my entire chest and middriff. Every hearbeat and every breath feels like a thousand tiny knifes and carving away at my insides, concentrating at two points, one lower, one higher. I also really might have a concussion. He kicked me a few inches back from the temple, and when I touch it, there's a small dent. It's almost too much to stand.

_Why give in?_

He is going to kill me. He's going to kill me and there's not a single thing I can do about it.

_It's not enough, it never is_

Kabuto hits me again, apparently too angry just to deal the death blow I expected. No, he wants to make me suffer first for daring to stand up to him. I stagger back. Kabuto continues taunting: "Pain should've stopped recruiting females with that ridiculous useless blue-haired shrew."

I can't think of a thing to say except, "Konan could kick your ass."

_But I will go on until the end_

He grins and decks me again. This time I fall back, hitting the ground, feeling pain resonate through me. Each sensation is unique, notes in a beautiful and agonizing songs, the crescendo of the song of my life as he raises the gun and points it at my head and I'm dead dead dead dead-

Deidara comes out of nowhere and punches him in the face.

It would probably be more romantic if he had ignored Kabuto and looked to me, handing me his hand and asking with concern in his deep blue eyes if I was alright, and then I stood up and we kissed passionately in the middle of the battlefield.

But that would be incredibly fucking stupid.

What actually happened is he didn't give me a second glance, standing between me and Kabuto. "Get up, hm!" Deidara says, lowly so only I will hear but urgently. "Forget the guns, I'm blowing this place sky-high, un!"

I struggle to my feet.

"Hmph," Kabuto chuckles. "It seems the Akatsuki is quite protective of their _pet." _

Fuck this guy.

I ignore the symphony of pain and go to the car, grabbing a couple nasty-looking guns and my baseball bat before running through the alley, staggering, Deidara behind me. Everyone else is in the car, waiting, and the door opens for the two of us. I nearly fall in. Itachi catches me, expressionless, and pulls me toward them to make room for Deidara. "Drive," he noiselssly intones.

Sasori obeys.

My head is pounding, my vision blurring. "The other...Oto..." I manage.

Itachi, thank God, understands me. "They retreated. The nearby houses are deserted. No civilians will be-"

BOOM.

I flinch and don't look behind us, but I have enough faith in Deidara to say that the explosion was magnificent. _Burn in hell, _I think numbly.

* * *

><p>Deidara grabbed her roughly -"Ow," she complained- and made her look him in the eyes. "How many fingers am I holding up, hm?"<p>

"...Two?"

Deidara lowered his four fingers, biting his lip. "Concussion, hm?" he asked Itachi.

"Ah." Itachi confirmed. His eyes lower. "She will require tetanus shots. Mari, do not pass out, understand?"

"Uh...sure...okay."

Deidara kept holding her chin, making her face him. He didn't say anything, but his eyes communicated volumes.

Her eyes told of only pain and exhaustion.

Sasori looked at them through the rearview mirror. "She will not be allowed to die," he intoned. "I will be sure of it as soon as we reach headquarters."

_Damn right you will, _Deidara thought. She was his girl, and she wasn't allowed to die.

He made himself leave her alone and stare forward blankly. Mari was obviously trying very hard not to lean on either of them and he didn't want to see that, forcing herself not to show weakness.

Itachi watched the exchange closely, making note of every subconscious movement.

* * *

><p>Concussion. Bruises. Cuts, scrapes, burns. Deep pierces on two parts of her back which, although didn't cause internal damage, would indeed require tetanus shots.<p>

Sasori frowned. Mari was usually able to keep herself from being banged up too badly. Sasori considered her an adequate if not spectacular fighter; he didn't care for her brash and obvious style, but she was daring enough to get the job done and cautious enough that she didn't usually endanger the mission. He fought better next to Deidara, but he didn't mind working closely with Mari. It would be a shame if she was incapacitated.

Luckily Sasori was spared the inconvenience. "You'll be better in about a week," he said solemnly. "As long as you stay off your feet for the most part. I'll give you something for the pain, but you should act like you're in agony, are we clear?"

"Whatever man," Mari responded, eyes tightly closed, teeth grit. "Just drug me already."

Sasori raised an eyebrow. "Ask nicely."

"Dammit Sasori!"

Sasori chuckled and pushed the syringe into her arm. Seconds later, Mari relaxed. "Thanks, red."

"You're very welcome."

Mari grinned tiredly. "Was that teasing a moment ago?"

"It may well have been," Sasori told her seriously. "Now, these are the pill form of that injection. Take two pills every four hours, and don't you dare take more than that. If you start it in thirty minutes the pain shouldn't get too bad."

"Sir, yes, sir." She sat up, wincing slightly. Sasori glared at her.

"Brat, what did I just tell you?"

"Where's Deidara?" Mari asked, ignoring him. "And Itachi?"

Sasori smirked. "So you _do _search for him first. He'll be glad to hear it."

Mari rolled her eyes. "Where is everyone?" They were at the moment on the living room couch in an empty house.

"Missions," Sasori answered simply. "It's no concern of yours."

Mari smirked. "You going to give me experimental shit again?"

"I already have." Mari's eyes went comically wide. "Your back. It feels tingly and slightly warm, no?"

Mari frowned. "I guess."

"Good. That means your body's responding the way I hoped it would. The powder I used will rebuild your flesh more quickly by fooling your immune system into thinking that area has a raging infection, concentrating your white blood cells in that area. The human body really is an amazing thing," Sasori comments. "I only advise you not to contract any sort of sickness in the next two weeks."

"I'll make a point of it."

"The other brat asked me to tell you that he's missing you watching his back."

"You're making that up, man."

"No, but I believe he was," Sasori responded conversationally. "It's not as if our two teams often go on mission together. Besides, if I remember correctly, it's usually we who need to watch your back, is it not?"

Mari stuck her tongue out at him.

* * *

><p>"Hey! Mari-chan!"<p>

"Don't call me-" I start automatically, before turning away from the bar to see none other than..."NARUTO!"

I don't care how ridiculous it looked. Me and Naruto ran at each other and glomped right in the middle of the Rotting Branch.

"YOU'RE ALIIIVE!" Naruto shouted.

Kiba smacked him on the back of his head. "Shut up, idiot, you're creeping out the customers."

"Screw you, dog-boy, dattebayo!" Naruto snapped.

Despite their bickering, I was grinning so hard my face hurt. I hadn't seen this guy since school got out, and dammit, I missed him.

I grin at Kiba as we all take a seat at the bar. "Why didn't you tell me he was coming, man?"

"I wanted it to be a surprise," Kiba replies, grinning cheekily.

I punch Naruto on the shoulder. "No shit. How the hell are ya, kid?"

"Not bad," Naruto answers, throwing money on the table. "Tsunade's been giving me and Sakura and the teme summer lessons-"

"I heard, have you mastered any justu yet?" I ask casually.

Naruto nearly spits out his Sprite. He looks at me, completely stricken. "Mari! How...you...what..."

I grin wickedly. "I have my ways." Let him think I'm a superspy or something.

Naruto shakes his head at me. "Whatever. Just don't tell anyone...but anyways!" He grins crazily, switching gears. "You're about to love my face, Mari," Naruto says happily, reaching into his pocket.

"How do you know? You can't tell the future, man," I tell him, wondering what he's going to get.

I grin when he pulls out an economy-sized bulk package of sour Skittles bags. "I'll be damned, the boy's psychic."

He smiles back at me, handing me my own bag. "No wonder pedophiles use candy all the time, I've never been more popular."

I snort. "Like hell you haven't. Doesn't everyone like you?"

"Now they do. Back in elementary school, the other kids totally shunned me."

I grip his shoulder sympathetically. "Yeah, I can relate, man."

"Hey, give me some!" Kiba demands, reaching over me to steal our candy. I push him back, wrestling him away.

"Screw you, Kiba!"

Kiba laughs, throwing his arm around my shoulder jokingly. "You know you love me," he teases.

"Up yours, asswipe!"

"Mari."

I frown, turning around. To my surprise, both Deidara and Itachi are standing there, Itachi looking at me soullessly, Deidara glaring at Kiba for some reason. "What the hell are you two doing here?"

"You are supposed to be resting," Itachi reprimands me, giving me a disapproving look. "No horseplay."

I glare at him before coming up with the super-mature, "You aren't the boss of me."

Itachi raises an eyebrow. "Au contraire, _underling." _

"Since when are you french?"

"As your superior, I technically am charged with the duty of training and protecting you. Therefore, I am very much the boss of you."

I scowl. "Whatever."

Naruto has been watching this entire exchange looking like he's suddenly forgotten how to perform bodily funtions. "What- why? What the hell are you two doing here, dattebayo?!" He's speaking rather more loudly than necessary. "Mari! What are they talking about? Underling? What's that supposed to mean?"

"What, she hasn't told you, hm?" Deidara asks him nastily, grinning that smile that I know is really a humorous snarl. "She's a member of the Akatsuki. For _life, _un."

"What?! No! Mari, you can't be with them!" Naruto looks at me desperately. "That one-" he points at Itachi. "-he killed Sasuke's family!"

I motion for Naruto to shut the hell up. Especially since Itachi is now glaring, which is usually not a good sign. In fact, it usually means very bad things for the recipient.

"And that one!" Naruto goes on, pointing at Deidara. "He's-"

Deidara cuts him off, grabbing me by the waist -which hurts- and pulling us closer -which hurts a lot- still smiling that insane, aggressive smile. "_This one _is Mari's boyfriend, runt, un!" he snarls. "So you'd better watch your mouth!"

I push him away. "Dammit, Deidara, I never agreed to that, so stop being so damn.._.possessive_!"

Deidara sneers at me. "Do you actually like these tools, hm?"

"No shit."

Kiba glares at Deidara, and Deidara glares back. I'm starting to sweat. "You've got some balls, asshole," Kiba snarls.

Deidara grins like a shark.

"Hey, break it up, you guys!" I say desperately. I look to Itachi for help. "Itachi!"

Itachi just looks at me. "This is not my concern."

"Like that ever stopped you before, man!" I hiss. He's just pissed that Naruto mentioned the killed-his-whole family thing.

This is when I see Itachi holding out a hand toward me. I look at him questioningly.

He stares at me blankly, holding his hand out without giving any kind of explanation.

"Uh…" I uncertainly raise a hand, then bring it down on his in a lame high-five.

Itachi raises his eyebrows. "I was holding my hand out for you to pour Skittles into it," Itachi explains emotionlessly.

My mouth drops open. Seriously? He wants candy? _Now? _"What makes you think I'll share with you, man?"

"I'm your superior and you don't have a choice."

Itachi is, as always, relentlessly straightforward. I give him a dirty look, but oblige and pour the sour candy into his waiting hand.

He nods curtly. "Thank you."

I pour skittles into my own mouth, wondering why it is I find it somewhat odd that Itachi wanted candy. I mean, I know he technically is human, but I just somehow never pictured him eating Skittles. Odd…

"Mari, can I talk to you for a second?" Naruto asks me under his breath, still looking back and forth from Deidara to Itachi suspiciously.

I look back at Kiba and Deidara, who are still glaring at each other vehemently. Deidara always acts like a fucking moron if I'm talking to anyone who's not in the Akatsuki. Even girls, although to a lesser extent. What, does he really think I might go lez?

"Itachi, please don't let them destroy the damn bar," I implore.

Itachi gives me a look like, 'No promises'. "Go converse with your friend, underling."

. Me and Naruto find a secluded spot in the back of the bar and sit at a table behind a row of soda machines.

"Hey, how many sluts do you think got impregnated back here, man?"

"Mari, why did you join the Akatsuki?" Naruto cuts me off, apparently not in the mood for perverted jokes.

I make a face. "I didn't want to…they forced me."

"What!" Naruto glares at the wall angrily.

"Yeah, they basically said, 'You're one of us now, fucking deal with it'."

"Didn't you say no?"

"Do they look like they'd care?"

Naruto grits his teeth. "They didn't…_do _anything to you, did they?"

"Ew. No. They're assholes, but not rapists. Jesus, Naruto."

"Mari…the Akatsuki are bad news," Naruto tells me slowly.

I snort. "No shit, Sherlock."

"No, seriously!" Naruto stares into my eyes with his surprisingly serious, concerned glare. "They're not just wannabes, they're dangerous. Didn't you hear the story about that Itachi guy?"

"Yeah, you may have mentioned that…"

"He killed Sasuke's whole family!" Naruto nearly shouts. "The only reason he's not in jail is because he managed to _weasel _out of the charges!"

"Dude, shut the fuck up, we're gonna be heard…"

"Mari!" Naruto grabs my shoulders, making me look at him. "I know he's polite, but so is Hannibal Lector. Do you need me to…"

I restrain myself from laughing in an attempt to spare Naruto's feelings. "Uh, Naruto, you know I love you, but…you're not exactly…well, you're pretty vanilla," I finish. "You can't take these guys, man."

Naruto raises an eyebrow at me. "Don't underestimate me, Mari."

I raise an eyebrow back. Naruto's awesome, but he's not exactly what you'd call _threatening. _

Naruto furrows his eyebrows, looking indecisive about something. "Mari…I'm not supposed to tell you this, but…you know that kid Gaara?"

"Ginger with the eyeliner and weird tattoo? Yeah, I've talked to him once or twice."

"Well…me and him, we…" He bites his lips. Whatever it is, it's a big deal. Alright, now I'm curious. "You can't tell anyone I told you this, alright?Especially not _them._"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever, just tell me already, man," I hiss in irritation.

"…Have you heard of the tailed beasts from the Feudal Shinobi Era? The jinchurikiis?"

Well, I wasn't expecting that. I give him an odd look. "Yeah. They were like, these huge demon monsters, right?"

"Something like that."

"But weren't they sealed away underground after the Fourth Shinobi War?" This kind of stuff is pretty top-secret, so I don't have a lot of information on it. The only stuff I know is in the way of urban legends.

Naruto nods. "Yeah, they were. But they were too powerful and immense and stuff to seal away completely. They have to renew the seal every twenty years or so."

Now I'm the one hungry for information, leaning forward to catch his every word. The Tailed Beasts, the seals used to contain them, and just about everything along those lines are things hovering somewhere between the known and unknown; even moreso than the lost shinobi arts. Things somewhere between science and enchantments, between imagination and reality. I've heard theories from that they don't exist and never have, that the whole thing was just a government conspiracy, to that they're a curse set upon us by some unknown set of really sadistic gods. What little facts about them are gaurded and coveted by our government officials. That Naruto even knows this much is just short of a miracle. "What does that have to do with you and Gaara?"

Naruto grimaces. "When they do the sealing rituals, sometimes some of the Tailed Beasts' energy and substance –it's called chakra, don't ask, it's really complicated- will…escape. When that happens, to divert natural disasters, they take it and seal it into small children."

A cold shiver runs down my back as I realize what he's getting at. "Don't tell me…you and Gaara are…"

He nods solemnly. "We're the kids they used."

"What the…they can't do that!" I snap angrily. "You're just kids! What does chakra do to you? How did they, I mean, why did they choose you?!"

"We're both orphans. It's easy for them to get away with it."

Anger, hot, burning, boiling anger, starts to rise up in me. "That's bullshit! I can't fu-"

"Look, it's not important," Naruto interrupts me. "The only reason I brought it up, is because the Akatsuki targeted us because of it."

"They _what?_" Why the hell wasn't I told about this?!

"It was three years ago. They thought that it was unacceptable for the demon's chakra to be above ground in any form. Too dangerous, they said. The power they promised would tempt people. They tried to kill us."

"What the fuck!" I burst out. "This is fucking ridiculous! Weasel Dick killed his whole family, they tried to kill you and Gaara, and they're still just waltzing around school like nothing?! That shit doesn't just happen!"

"There wasn't enough evidence or something," Naruto tells me. "And every time the police would get a good hold on them, the detectives would suddenly quit their jobs, the computers would crash, things would go wrong. It's like the Akatsuki are…untouchable."

Anger seems to be running in my veins instead of blood. "How are you guys alright?"

"…They kidnapped Gaara, almost killed him. Sakura saw their liscence plate number and we followed them. We were just in time to save Gaara's life. Look, I haven't met all of them, so I don't know everything about them. Maybe there's more to them, but…" Naruto looks like he seriously doubts it. "They're not good guys. Mari, just…be careful."

I nod. I've never seen Naruto this serious, ever. I didn't even think he was capable of it. My head is spinning with all this new information, not to mention anger at my fellow gang members. Why didn't they mention this shit to me? Because I'm just some trainee, why bother telling me anything? I knew that they kill, but I'd never considered that they might have made an attempt on the lives of people I care about. Which reminds me…

"Naruto…I'm so sorry. I didn't know…"

"It's fine, don't worry about it. You weren't a member then." Naruto crosses his arms, looking away. I just thought you had a right to know."

"Thanks," I nod. Then I grin. "Shit, I've never seen you so serious, man. You've had a pretty fucked-up life, huh? Your parents died, the government used you as…as…as some kind of a _fucking_ human Zip-Lock baggie, the Akatsuki tried to kill you…"

"…And Sakura _still _won't go out with me," he complains in a long-suffering sort of way.

"No way! You and Sakura?" I ask incredulously.

"Yeah, why not?"

I shake my head, laughing. "Imagine your kids. They'd have pink hair and whiskers…fucking freaks of nature, man."

"Hey, that's not nice!"

"Get used to it, man."

So, yeah. The tension leaked out of that situation pretty quickly. I know I should've stood up for my gang's honor, but next to the information about the Tailed Beasts, I can't quite bring myself to.

"So, you and...Deidara, is it?" Naruto asked, grinning foxily. "You know, I had a hunch..."

I punch him on the shoulder. "Shut up, man."

"But anyways..." His eyes narrow. "I need to tell you something..."

I narrow my eyes back. "Naruto, shut up. Can you see Itachi?"

Naruto frowns. "Yes. He's looking at us."

"Then he's probably lip-read every word you've said. I need you to do exactly what I say. Grin."

He does, and convincingly.

"Now say something about me and Deidara that makes sense with what you just said."

"You and Deidara make _such _a cute couple!"

I punch him on the arm. "Move so you're sitting behind me and he can't see you. Act casual."

Naruto obeys, still laughing, until he's at the right angle that hopefully Itachi can't see his lips. "Now tell me the thing, but keep smiling like we're talking about something stupid."

Naruto nods imperceptibly before going on, "Don't tell anyone in the Akatsuki about me, Sakura, and Sasuke. Okay?"

I laugh. "Okay." I pat him on the back. "Anything else?"

"Well...if you could..."

"If I spied on or sabotaged them in any way, I'd be dead in a week."

Naruto nods. "I got it. Still, I need you to know: Tsunade's recruiting people. We're going to attack Oto-"

"Good."

"And then bring down the Akatsuki."

My smile isn't faked then. It's ironic and twisted, but it's full of humor. "Naruto-kun...no you're not."

* * *

><p><strong>So, I finally know how this will end! I stayed up for hours last night writing, not an outline, but a narration for myself, and I'm very happy with it. So, yes, while we are in the last arc, there's plenty of action, not to mention lots of chapters, on their way!<br>**

**Just to keep things clear: Naruto and Gaara _are not _technically jinchuriki. A small portion of the Tailed Beasts' chakra that escape their bindings are sealed into them because the seal needs a minor human sacrifice every lifetime to keep the seal working. It's not the same as in the anime and you shouldn't put too much stock into it, although you should keep it in mind.**

**Guys, please, please, PLEASE review! Even a guest typing 'lol' means so much to me, especially since I'm still rooting for my goal of 1000 reviews! I know I don't have as many readers as I used to, and 1000 is still a long ways to go, but it would mean the world to me if you guys could make it happen. It's unlikely, but damn if I'm not going to try.**

**Anyways, review or no, I'm so glad you're reading! :)**

**(I hardly ever use emoticons, so you know I mean it.)**

**-amy out**


	50. Tailed Beasts

**Thanks for all the reviews on the last chapter, you guys! :)**

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><p>I generally operate under the assumption that Itachi knows everything. It's not as ridiculous as it sounds. Even despite the fact of his practically exuding confidence, he seems to be an unofficial expert in damn near everything. However, in this particular instance, I find myself in possession of information I'm fairly certain he either doesn't have, or doesn't want me to have. And despite what a good teacher he's turned out to be, and how we've appeared to have bonded, I'm not naive. He, or anyone else in the Akatsuki wouldn't hesitate to kill me if they thought I was going against the Akatsuki's objectives.<p>

Ours is a perilous and fragile friendship. The kind that exists only because being honest with yourself and others would be too painful.

The thing is, there's no way he doesn't know I know about the Tailed Beasts. Zero chance. He's way too vigilant. But that's not the information I most need to conceal. I can't let Itachi find out I know that Naruto's part of some group who wants to take on the Akatsuki.

Oh, Naruto. Please don't make me fight you.

So when we get home and Itachi corners me and asks me what me and Naruto talked about, I act nervous and look away. "Nothing."

He glares at me.

I swallow, but decide that to sound authentic I have to hold out for longer. I carefully avoid his face.

"Mari. Look me in the eyes."

"I don't want to."

"I won't use the sharingan."

"The hell you won't."

"What did you and Naruto talk about?" he asks again, this time releasing a small but potent killing intent.

Okay, I've held out long enough. "He told me about the Tailed Beasts," I say, raising my eyes and looking at Itachi defiantly. "He said you guys kidnapped his friend Gaara and almost killed him."

Itachi looks at me for a second, then raises his hand to the bridge of his nose. "...Ah."

Please don't let the next thing he says be something about he knows there's something else, because I just cannot fucking deal with anymore tension right now.

"Why didn't you guys tell me about that?" I demand angrily, even though I know the answer.

Itachi gazes at me. "You're a new recruit, and that was top secret. Why would we tell you?"

Well, there's no need for _quite _that much scorn. "Why did you do that? Or is it too _top secret _to tell me about?" I ask, hoping to keep the conversation moving down this line of questioning.

Itachi looks away thoughtfully. I think he's going to dodge the question until he says, "This matter is a bit complicated and will take some time to explain. You should sit."

I hesitantly lower my butt to the bed. He takes a seat formally in the chair in front of me, and starts. "This is considered state secrets, so obviously you aren't to speak of it to others, are we clear?" Without waiting for my answer, he forges on. "The tailed beasts were originally ten titanic behemoths. They were differentiated by the number of tails they have, ranging from one to nine. The tailed beasts are living forms of chakra, sometimes referred to as 'Chakra Monsters', giving them power that far outmatched most shinobi of the time. In the beginning of ninja history, centuries before the founding of the ninja villages that evolved into some of the most powerful cities of the present day, there existed an entity known as the Ten-tails, which plagued the world until the Sage of the Six Paths defeated and sealed the beast within himself, making him the first jinchuriki."

I have never heard a single thing about any of this.

Itachi goes on: "Later, the Sage divided its chakra into the nine tailed beasts and sealed its body into what would later become the moon. Some time after being created, the Sage gave each of the young tailed beasts a name and told them that they would always be together, even when separated. He also told them that one day, they would become one entity again-"

"Wait, what?" I interrupt. "He _told _them this? They were...intelligent?"

Itachi nods. "My sources say yes. They each had a different name and form. By the time of the formation of the shinobi villages, shinobi started to learn techniques to capture and give several tailed beasts to the other shinobi villages as peace treaties, in order to stabilize the balance of power between , the villages had trouble containing the beasts themselves and they began to run wild, so the villages instead moved to seal the tailed beasts within humans, which they called jinchurikis. In order to ensure that the jinchuriki wouldn't turn traitor, it has been common practice to choose the jinchuriki from the village's Kage family, such as a sibling or a spouse."

"What's a Kage?" I interrupt again.

"The strongest ninja of the village. As I was saying, the strength of the jinchuriki would then be used to protect the village and be a living display of the Kage's history, very few people have ever gained full control over a tailed beast."

I nod. "Okay, well, that's interesting, but what does that have to do with Naruto and Gaara?"

"I'm getting to that." Itachi takes a second, presumably to recollect his thoughts, before going on: "The Final Sealing of the Tailed Beasts was one of the biggest reasons the industrial revolution was a success, although it was incredibly hushed up. The five Kages, during a time of relative peace after they had all had to unite against one man who attempted to take over the world using the Tailed Beast's power, collaborated to create a jutsu that would leave the tailed beasts slumbering for all time. They sent the beasts to nine different mountains in different corners of the earth and sealed the beasts within them using the jutsu they created. No more jinchurikis were needed...for a time."

It's lame of me but I am literally sitting on the edge of my seat right now. "But?"

"But it happened that the Tailed Beast's powers were too much to permenantly contain. Every generation or so, a combination of factors would present themselves in such a way that a portion of that particular Tailed Beast's chakra would escape and begin to wreak havoc on the world around them. That's when government officials, spurred on by ROOTS, decided to recycle an idea that they had previously called cruel and inhumane: They selected children to seal the portion of chakra into, to keep it under control."

"Doesn't it...hurt the kids?"

"Not as much as being a full-fledged jinchuriki is rumored to have. For the most part, it's possible for those children to live long, happy lives." Itachi frowns. "As long as ROOTS refrains from meddling."

"That's the second time you've mentioned these root people," I speak up. "Who are they?"

Itachi waves his hand like he's swatting the question away. "That's a different conversation entirely."

"So..." I take a second to recollect my thoughts. "Why did you guys have to kidnap them?"

"The pseudo jinchuriki were still in possession of unnatural and dangerous power, and in the wrong hands could be capable of terrible things. Our Leader did not like for the temptation to be available," Itachi answers smoothly and simply.

"You...so you just..." I don't bother finishing. So what that it's horrible and callous? Does it matter? Has it ever mattered? How's this any different than when Sasori poisons someone inconvenient or Kakuzu assassinates someone who's about to file a report on us? Just because I know these people, and care about them?

I know who we are and what we do. Why does it continue to surprise me?

Morality could never hope to stand in the place of 'the greater good'.

* * *

><p><strong>Naruto<br>**  
>Naruto was feeling very distressed.<p>

He shoveled ramen into his mouth by the bucketful, trying to make use of ramen's medicinal properties to help calm himself down. He had several problems.

For one thing, this was the first time he had been relevant in something like, thirty chapters, and his big scene where he actually got to tell his own story turned out to be nothing but him eating and breaking the fourth wall. Talk about a let down.

For another thing, Tsunade was making him and the others nervous. As Shikimaru had earlier pointed out, the only possible reason Tsunade would have for briefing them all on these Oto assholes, and then on the infamous Akatsuki and the secretive ROOTS organization, was if they were going to have to employ their newly learned ninja talents against them, which in all honesty, was scary as fuck.

Not that _Naruto himself _was scared. As if. Naruto feared nothing. However, he could appreciate that the situation itself was pretty scary, not to mention difficult. When Pervy Sage had first revealed to Naruto that he was a ninja, and that Naruto could become one too, Naruto was pretty much catatonic. Ninjas had always seemed like the coolest thing imaginable to him. They were like real-life superheroes, but no longer real -people that used to exist, but no longer did. He had thought that they were all extinct as a people, that the Way of the Shinobi was dead.

Apparently, that wasn't the case.

Tsuande's plan, as Naruto understood it, was to run a prestigious school and recruit all kinds of promising-seeming students into her own organization, which she called ANBU. Apparently that's a play on something this city had hundreds of years ago, when it was still the Village Hidden in the Leaf. Baa-chan had been building this ANBU organization of hers for years, and apparently almost all of her former students were now teachers at Leaf High. Even more surprising, is that some of the other former students had left completely, off to do other things in service of ANBU that Tsunade didn't even tell them about.

'Them', of course, being the newest generation of ANBU. It inculded, of course, himself, being the badass blond dynamo of power he was; Sakura, because Tsunade mentioned something about reminding her orf herself; Sasuke, because people always seemed to faun over him because of his stupid Sharingan (big deal, did they even _know _how good Naruto was with Mario Kart?); Neji and Hinata Hyuuga, because of their card-game-sounding kekkei genkai, whatever it's called; and Shikimaru, which Naruto could kind of understand. After all, Shikimaru _was _pretty much the smartest guy any of them had ever met.

Tsunade had been remarking that they were showing fantastic progress, her "Rookie Six" as she called them. But the truly worrying that was that, in their last ANBU meeting, Tsunade had made something of a speech saying that things had gotten entirely out of hand and they no longer had time to waste on training and caution.

"Um, _what's_ gotten out of hand?" Sakura had asked worriedly.

Baa-chan had pursed her lips. "We'll speak of this in our next meeting."

Naruto had been over-the-moon excited about _finally _getting a chance to try out his new skills in action.

That is, until he found out about Mari.

He had _no idea _how much trouble his old friend had gotten herself into! The Akatsuki were only ever spoken about quietly and fearfully among the Akatsuki. As Shikimaru had said, it seemed like Tsunade was avoiding talking about the threat they might end up posing in hopes that it wouldn't. Sadly, the unspoken truth between them was that the Akatsuki were a gang of psychopathic criminals, led by a particularly psychopathic criminal, and would eventually have to be stopped for the good of all. So what if Tsunade said they weren't as dangerous as Oto? They were still dangerous and had to be stopped. Besides, Sasuke didn't seem any closer than before to forgetting the grudge against his older brother.

And now, in the midst of all this, comes the news Mari is on the opposite team. Mari was with the _bad guys! _Apparently _dating _one of them! For one thing, that was just gross. He considered Mari to be like a sister to him, like Hinata, and he had to admit he felt kind of protective of both of them. Therefore he didn't like the idea of some villainous jerk touching her. Seriously, ew. He would have to do something about that. But more importantly, Mari wasn't a bad guy! She was cool! She was his friend.

He hated the idea of having to fight her. He hated the entire thing, period. It sucked.

This sucked.

He supposed he could've talked to his teammates about it, but Sasuke wouldn't care (bastard), and Sakura was worried enough. She was having pretty much the opposite reaction to all of this that Naruto had. She was pretty much worried out of her mind, even if she had attempted to keep a brave face, and was spending all of her time obsessively reading and researching and training, even more than Sasuke.

In the end, Naruto decided, he was just going to have to face this challenge like he faces all his other challenges: head-on. He wouldn't let those stupid Akatsuki assholes hurt or corrupt his friend, or let them...do whatever it was Tsuande was worried about them doing. He would protect his friends. He would _not _give up and he would _not _back down!

That's his ninja way!

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><p><strong>Mari<strong>

I am not a fan of there being all these insane freaking organizations I didn't even know about. I asked around earlier and apparently that ROOTS thing Itachi mentioned is kind of a big deal. Like, some crazy sociopathic guy who has a bunch of rich, ninja-arts knowing friends who has pretty much infiltrated all kinds of government jobs all over, and while I was sitting here thinking Oto are our biggest enemy, it turns out we need to be worried about ROOTS too. God damn it. I don't even have any freaking shock to expend on this. I am just done.

I am just fucking done.

I rest my head on my folded arms on the couch arm and stare glumly at the TV, even though I have no idea what show this is supposed to be and don't really care.

Suddenly I feel the sudden impact of a pillow on my face. "Yo, bitch!" Hidan greets me, sounding cheerful, especially for him. Too bad I'm in a major shitty mood at the moment.

"Leave me alone, fuckass."

"Well aren't we just a ray of fucking sunshine," Hidan replies sarcastically. "What's your fucking deal?"

I scowl. "My deal is that I was already in a shitty mood, and then you threw a fucking pillow at me!"

"Oh, lighten the fuck up, would you?" Hidan replies, sounding a little bit annoyed. "I was just messing around."

"I'm not in the mood to be messed around with, man." I stand up and venture into the kitchen. Maybe I should stop moping and being all crotchedy about this. I mean, all of it is stuff that has already happened or that was going on way before now, so it's like I've passed my window of oppurtunity to be pissed off about this stuff. If that makes any sense. I guess what I'm saying is, all this stuff that already happened isn't something I can do anything about anymore, so why sit here moping about it? It's not like the fact that all my friends are a bunch of vicious violent psychos is news to me.

"Aw, what's the matter?" Hidan taunts, following me. "Sex life not going well?"

My eye twitches. "What the actual fuck are you talking about, man?"

He responds with his usual shit-eating grin. "You know damn well what I'm talking about. Is Blondie not as good in bed as he pretends?"

"You're a jackass." My face is a little red but I refuse to let Hidan rile me up. I also refuse to give him the satisfaction of hearing me shout that _of course we are not sleeping together. _For fuck's sake, it's been like only three weeks, and I never actually said I was going to be his...anyways. That would be completely innapropriate and I don't appreciate people running their stupid fucking jaws about it.

Unfortunately, my reaction just makes Hidan think he was right. He laughs. "Sucks to be you! Maybe I'll do you a fucking favor, let Blondie know he needs to straighten his shit up-"

I cringe. "Don't you fucking dare! This is none of your goddamn business and it never was, man!"

He opens his mouth to make some other dumb-shit comment, but I shut him up by throwing an apple at him.

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><p><strong>So, this is kind of just an "it'll do" sort of chapter. I'm not so happy with it, anyways. <strong>

**And yeah, I broke the fourth wall with this. Oh well. Naruto is the kind of character that just kind of begs for that sort of thing.**

**Yooo if any of y'all have a tumblr, follow me! ( theamaya sakaruta experience .tumblr .com) Take out the spaces, you know the drill. My icon is a picture of Mari.  
><strong>

**Speaking of pictures of Mari, a dear dear friend of mine drew one for my Kane Chronicles fanfiction, but it will work equally well for this one. You should check it out. ( theamayasakarutaexperience. / apps/photos/ photo?photoid=183085312 )**

**Anyways, please review and thanks for reading.**

**-amy out**


	51. AH HA HA HA I'LL KILL YOU

**Geez, guys, sorry this took so long, you know how it is. _It has started. _**

**God help us.**

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><p>I take a deep breath and let it out shakily. I slowly raise my hands before plunging into the required seals, finishing me raising my right hand to my lips as though I was holding a cigarette. "Fire style: Fireball Jutsu!"<p>

I focus my chakra in between my fingers and imagine the hottest fire I can fathom.

Heat blooms against my face as a stream of fire as thin as a quarter extends in front of me, ending in a fireball the size of a basketball. I concentrate as hard as I can, but it refuses to grow larger than that.

I let it disperse, scowling. Failure number four hundred and seventy nine.

"Try it again," Itachi instructs me boredly. "This time summon your chakra _before _attempting the jutsu."

I nod curtly, and begin the process over again. This jutsu is a bitch and a half. Two bitches. Three. An entire silo full of pissy tantrum-throwing bratty bitches who refuse to manifest themselves into a fucking fireball.

"Your control is terrible," Itachi monotones, sharingan blazing. "Do you even know how much chakra you're allowing to escape? Try narrowing your field of thought."

"Field of _thought_? What the hell is that supposed to mean?!" I snap in frustration, letting the jutsu fall around me.

Itachi stares at me for a moment, I assume trying to think of a way to explain it to me. For a second I think how grateful I am that he puts up with my temper tantrums and childish way of dealing with anger; and as quickly as it comes, it's replaced by a sense of guilt at not telling him everything. I mean, sure, Naruto is my friend. But Itachi? Itachi has always treated me with the exact right amount of care; pushing me to my limits, but taking great care not to let me overextend my limits, even the ones that I deny exist. Itachi taught me everything I need to know to fight, he's saved my life countless times, his teachings are the reason I'm still alive, he's helped me through so many emotional problems when he was under no obligation to, he's the reason I no longer cut (or at least haven't in months)...

And yet, I know he would kill me if Pain commanded it.

I force myself to swallow the feeling. Guilt and feelings of betrayal over these people, just like my incessant anger at everything and everybody, are childish emotions that I need to resolve and move past. I'm not a kid anymore. I may be fifteen, but I feel like I'm thirty, and it's time for me to grow up.

I already have, really. I can feel how different I am, from a year ago, from just six months ago.

Growing up is such a strange thing.

"I wonder," Itachi breaks into my thoughts as I try the fireball jutsu once again, "if you may need...motivation."

Shit, I can already tell I'm not going to like this. "What do you mean?" I ask warily.

"Many times, a jutsu will not work until one attempts to use it in the heat of battle," Itachi explains. "The necessity of certain situations seems to..._liberate _the abilities from several people."

I scowl. "How do we know the ability just needs to be 'liberated'? Maybe I just can't."

Itachi gives me a reproving look. "Failure is not tolerated in the Akatsuki. And you can."

"Yeah, but how do you know?"

His eyes narrow, sharingan still spinning. "I can see it."

Well, if that ain't just creepy as shit. I look away, facing toward the portion of the backyard me and Kisame spent an hour removing all remotely flammable things from, in anticipation of when I'm finally able to produce a fireball large enough to do some damage. I feel slightly guilty that I'm taking so long to do this. Itachi explained to me that he can cast a sort of thin genjutsu over the backyard so that my fireball jutsu attempts wouldn't be seen by the general population (don't ask me how the hell he managed to pull something like that off, because I honestly have no idea), but he also told me that it took a lot of energy and strained his eyes to do something that extensive for so long. The longer I spend not doing the fireball jutsu right, the less chakra Itachi is going to have, and the more likely it is that he won't be able to pull off a crucial jutsu at the last minute. The more likely it is that he could die in the upcoming fight against Oto.

I'm left with no illusion: this will be the _last _fight. We're preparing the base like it could be attacked at any moment, even though none of us think they've managed to find us. Konan advised me to hide my family, and I did her one better: Joseph helped me break into a few convenience stores to raise enough money to ship Mom and Kai to a small town on the outskirts of the forest for which the Leaf Village had been named. Mom asked me if I wasn't overreacting.

Me, Joseph, and Kai all gave her the same tight-lipped look that expressed we absolutely were not.

I sent them off with enough money to get there and back, besides which stay in nice hotels and entertain themselves. It'll be just like a vacation, especially for poor Kai, who's just recovered from the worst of his injuries. He's not supposed to rough house, but he can walk around, and he's just like normal. Really, it's astounding how unaffected he is. "Sometimes people get hit by cars," he told me simply one night. "It's not that weird."

When we showed them to the train, I knelt down and hugged Kai as hard as I could without feeling like I would hurt him. "Kai, you look at me."

He did. "If you see anyone-" I hold up a hand before he can interrupt. "-_anyone at all- _who looks like they might hurt you...or Mom...you don't try to be brave, you run away. You just run. Remember the evasion tactics we taught you. Okay?"

Kai looked me in the eyes. "Do you really think they would chase us all the way to Ryokotoshi to hurt you?"

My lips were in an extremely straight line. "We would."

Kai nodded solemnly.

I straightened up and looked Mom in the eyes. "Kai, why don't you go get on the train?"

Kai made a face, but obliged.

Joseph looked from me to Mom, then sweat dropped. "Uh, I guess I'll just go...keep an eye on him..."

She left.

"I'm...really trusting you here, Mom."

"I know you are, kiddo." I respect Mom for not looking away. I don't like her, but I respect her. "I'm almost half a year sober by now."

"Make sure it stays that way." I didn't hide the anger in my eyes. "No matter how pissed off or depressed you get, you'd better wear you won't drink or do drugs or-"

"Mari."

"Swear!"

"_Mari." _Now she looked angry. "I swear."

Our eyes had an entirely different conversation, but our mouths left it unsaid.

Joseph tentatively walked toward us. Mom nodded curtly at her and walked back toard the train, and I could see the anger in her stride. "I'll see you in a few weeks."

"Don't contact me until I contact you," I called after her.

I know she heard me, but Mom didn't respond.

"Joseph..." I started slowly.

Joseph raised her hand. "I already know what you're going to try to say, and don't bother: I'm fighting along with you."

"_If _Pain even lets you!" I bursted out angrily. "Just because he's let you help once or twice doesn't mean he'll let you go along on the biggest fight of our-"

"You think I'll be a liability, don't even try to sugarcoat it-"

"We all know you're a badass but you haven't had the training-"

"Don't give me that shit, I could still back you up-"

"God dammit, Joseph, I'm not gonna let you go into a fight you could get killed in!"

"And I'm not going to let you fight for your life while I'm a hundred miles away in a luxury resort!"

We were shouting. It'd been years since we'd had an actual, serious fight, and damn if I wasn't going to win. This could save her life, not to mention Kai's and Mom's. "It's not just about you, you could be protecting Kai and my mom!"

"You just-" Joseph stopped, giving me a second look.

_Come on, now, Mari, if being Itachi's student for this long can't give the the wherewithall to talk someone into something, nothing will. _"You'd be selfish to leave them alone, just so you can try and help us with this fight."

Joseph looked at me again, and the look in her eyes nearly broke my heart. "Mari, I've lost everything. My life. My mom. My baby sister." I bit my tongue. She hadn't mentioned poor Jade in years. "I couldn't take it if you died and I might've saved you."

"Joseph, I couldn't take it if you died _trying _to save me. Look, if... I won't die, but if it makes you feel any better..." I swallowed. "Tell yourself that you were just protecting Kai. He needs protecting more than me and we both know it."

Joseph shook her head sporadically. "Mari, I can't-"

The train whistle blew. I give her the biggest hug I've ever given her, knowing I had to take out the big guns. "I talked to Hidan about it. Don't tell him I told you this -he said he'd 'fucking slaughter me' if I told anyone- but he wants you to go."

Joseph looked like she couldn't believe it. Honestly, I couldn't either. When they first started dating I honestly thought it was more of a, well, _casual _would be the G-rated way to put it, kind of thing. But as their relationship actually went beyond the phase where it made me uncomfortable and to the phase where it made me nauseous, I'm starting to see that Joseph cares a lot for Hidan, and he cares for her, at least as much as someone like Hidan can. It never ceases to amaze me how she can go through everything she's gone through and still have a heart this healthy.

Joseph ended up jumping on the bus at the last second.

I'd breathed a sigh of relief as I drove home (_no cops no cops no cops _was my mantra, if anyone's interested). Now all my precious people, at least the ones who couldn't defend themselves, were out of harm's way. Now if someone actually did find the base, I wouldn't have to go through the mind-numbing terror I'd been imagining for months.

Now if all of Konoha burned, well, what's left of my family wouldn't.

_And that's a damn good thing. _

"Mari, if you're going to keep spacing out, there's not much point of this."

"I'm not spacing out, man."

"Don't lie. I can see your brain waves. Now focus."

I shudder. The sharingan is _creepy. _I go through the motions again, trying to remember Itachi's every tip, using them to the best of my ability, and -

"Fire style, fire ball jutsu!"

The result is as mediocre as ever.

Itachi lets out a lengthy sigh. "You need to practice." He's blank-faced as he turns to return inside, but I can still tell he's dissapointed. "The genjutsu will hold for another few minutes. Keep at it."

I grit my teeth, ashamed. _I _have _to get this down. We're running out of time. _

* * *

><p>"So, heard you got your mom and little brother out of town, un."<p>

I nod, looking up at him from my position sitting cross-legged on the couch. "Yeah. I practically had to force her, but Joseph went too."

Deidara shakes his head. "I can't believe it. Would never have thought it of her, un."

For some reason this offends me and I bristle up. "Hey, Joseph's no coward, she wanted to stay and fight! It's just, me and Hidan both want her out of Konoha, and I want to make sure she can protect Kai-"

"Whoa, whoa, Tough Girl, chill, un," he says, raising his hands palms-up in the standard 'back-off-calm-down' gesture. His gloves are off and I can see the tongues on his hands flopping around, slobbering everywhere. I growl at his usage of the insultingly condescending pet name he still insists on using, and he responds with his usual shit-eating grin.

"When are you gonna stop calling me that, man?" I ask with irritation.

Deidara pulls a mock-thoughtful expression, sliding onto the couch next to me. Actually it's pretty annoying and uncomfortable because there's really not enough room, unless I was to sit in his lap, which _no. "_When _you _start calling me your boyrfiend, hm?"

"You know, there is _plenty _of room on this thing-"

"Mari." His tone before was playful, now less so. He's still smirking, but his eyes are intense and serious, with that look he gets when he's really focusing on something. Not very many people get that look because a good portion of it comes from legitimate insanity, as in, a state of mental ill. We in the Akatsuki aren't just weird and quirky and unusual "insane", we have...real things. The best we can do is try to keep our mental shortcomings to manageable, productive conditions. After all, a paranoid schizophrenic could be useful to Pain as long as they keep their insanity directed away from us and toward our enemies.

As for what kind of insanity Deidara carries, I don't have a clue. It's more, deeper, than just pyromania or being a sociopath; maybe it doesn't have a name. It's something that just happens to you when you live like he does, if you spend so long killing people and not caring about it.

At the moment, that intensity forged with insanity is aimed in my direction and it is so intimidating -without being frightening- does that make sense? -and I'm strangely gratified that that reaction is directed at me. For the moment at least, I _own _that feeling and I am both in control and at a disadvantage.

I blink, ending the weird staring contest we seem to have entered while I spaced out. "I don't see why this even matters to you."

He gives me a skeptical look. "Are you serious, hm?"

I roll my eyes. "I'm not a romantic, and don't even try to tell me that _you _are. Can't you just..." I wave my arms inarticulately, unable to string together the required sequence of words in order to explain myself.

He is unimpressed. "So, what? What would _you _call it? Because you know, the idea of 'friends with benefits' kind of implies there are some actual _benefits _involved, un."

Well, that was quite a bit snarkier than usual. I raise an eyebrow at him; what does he expect from me? I don't care what he's used to. I've never dated before and even just kissing is a big deal for me. "You're not going to guilt me into anything, man."

"That's not what I-" He huffs impatiently, giving me a dirty look. "Why do you have to be so difficult?"

"Why do you have to be such a queer?" I counter.

"Why the hell am I a queer?" he asks incredulously.

"I'm putting aside my neurotic almost-phobias and letting you put your gross tongue inside my mouth and you're complaining that I don't want to go around saying we're a couple." I deadpan.

"Hey, you weren't exactly complaining earlier, un."

I do not blush. Blushing is definetly something that I do not do right now. "Shut the hell up, you know what I mean."

"No, really, you think it's gross, hm?"

"...It seems unsanitary."

For some freaking reason he thinks that's just an entire _barrel _of mirthful, humor-filled chuckles, almost doubling up with laughter. "You're such a dick," I tell him disgustedly, trying to use the oppurtunity to escape.

"No, no, come on, I'll stop-"

"You'd better," I mutter, but really I guess I don't mind. I kind of like closeness now. It's...nice. Especially since I know he's not going to complain about it because he wants to do, you know, _other _stuff, and he doesn't get to if he pisses me off. I could get used to having this kind of leverage. It's like he's my captive only he has to be nice to me. Unless he's, like, messing with me or harassing with me, which still happens pretty often, but you get my point.

He's still snickering, but not as obnoxiously, and I tentatively use his shoulder as a pillow. We sit there, squished and uncomfortable, watching commercials.

"You want to make out, hm?"

"Deidara, we're in the living room."

"And?"

"Someone might walk in, man."

"So?"

"So no."

"You're a pain, un," he tells me, poking me in the side.

I jump. "Don't do that, man!"

"Hm?" ha asks innocently, doing exactly that again. "Do what, hm?"

"Dammit Dei, I am not doing this stupid bullshit again, you know exactly what I'm talking about!" I snap.

"What, you're not _ticklish, _are you?"

I freeze. "Don't you dare. Don't you _fucking _dare."

He grins.

"Blondie, I'm serious-" I rapidly back up as far as I can in such cramped quarters. "Do not-"

He does it.

He does the thing.

"AHAHAHAHAHAH GOD DAMN YOU AHAHAHAHAHAHA I'LL KILL YOU YOU SON OF A BITCH-" My attempts to escape and fight back aren't very effective, and my attempts to threaten him are even less so, what with my laughing hysterically the whole time. "NO NO NO AH HA HA HA HA FUCK YOU QUIT IT AH HA-"

"You're so loud, un."

"That's because you're fucking tickling me AH HA HA HA STOP!"

You may think this scenario is cute, or sweet, or some similar shit. Like, oh, they're bonding by doing one of the cutest couple-ish things imaginable, a tickle fight, how charmingly different than when they used to hate each other!Maybe popular culture has convinced you that tickling someone is an okay thing to do.

Do not let them decieve you.

Tickling is horrifying.

Don't laugh. Being tickled is like being raped except you're forced to laugh. It's a fucking abomination and do not let anyone else tell you otherwise.

Especially when you are, like me, _very _ticklish.

Within _seconds _he has me totally incapacitated. I literally cannot defend myself. "Man, if only Oto knew," he muses when he stops long enough for me to breathe. "All Oto has to do is start tickling you and-"

"Fuck you you piece of shit!" I screech, seriously pissed off. "Get -AH HA HA HA HA YOU BASTARD!"

"_What _the _fuck _is going on?"

"Oh holy shit, Hidan!" I yell. "Help me! He's tickling me and he won't stop!"

Hidan takes a few steps closer and now I can see his face, incredulous.

"You're my only hope, man!"

Deidara shrugs.

Hidan rolls his eyes and goes back the way he came. "You fuckers are weird."

"God dammit Hi- AH HA! Deidara no seriously HA HA HA I said quit HA HA HA I CAN'T BREATHE STOP IT-"

Finally, I get a hand loose. I push him away as hard as I can and squirm until I can escape, retreating to the other side of the living room. I stare at him, panting, and he stares back, amused.

"If you EVER do that shit again-"

Deidara just laughs at me.

"Fuck you!" I shout, stomping off to go tend to my wounded pride in my room. "You can keep your gross tongue to yourself."

* * *

><p>Kabuto listened to the sound of his footsteps echoing down the lon, dark hallway as he made his way toward his destination. Each step was punctuated by a slapping sound, and accompanied by the deep echoing sound of the step before it, and Kabuto knew from his studies that even when he could no longer hear the sound's wavelengths it continued to ring out, the sound remained, echoing beyond the realm of human hearing, getting smaller exponentially into infinity but never truly fading. Never truly dissapearing. Sound.<p>

Oto, an archaic word for sound, reflected the gang's philosophy that the world should not be quiet. Never has been and isn't and should not be. Quiet was not conducive to one's benefit.

Of course to fill the silence there had to be noise, at all times. Kabuto supposed the distant sounds of screaming, crying, moaning, and other pathetic noises might be worth noting. To some people.

To him it was just indication of jobs well done. Everything in place.

He knocked on the door at the end of the hallway.

"Enter," replied that farmiliar smooth, silken voice.

Kabuto did so. "Good evening," he greeted, bowing.

"The same." The figure in the chair did not rise, or even turn around to face him, continuing to face the wall. The room was dark, lit by candles; a television had been installed but was rarely used; a bookshelf stood against the wall. A phonograph played, filling the room with soft classical music with the fullness modern music so often lacked. "How did things go?"

"The Akatsuki intercepted," Kabuto replied bitterly. "We lost forty percent of the weapons."

The man chuckled. "Irrelevant," he whispered, although somehow not sounding at all quieter than when he spoke. "This will surely provoke the Akatsuki into attacking. They are arrogant. Pain will not stand for this percieved insult."

"Forgive me, my lord, but...if you are to oppose Uchiha-"

The man hissed. "Do not presume to lecture me, boy!"

Kabuto swallowed his protests. "I understand."

"Good." The man seemed to have little interest in what Kabuto had to say. "Soon, Kabuto...very soon, the Akatsuki will fall. The old fool Danzo will be dead and ROOTS will be ours."

Kabuto smirked. "We know their weak point, my lord."

"That we do." The man stood up, facing Kabuto, and giving him his usual cold, thin-lipped approximation of a pleased smile. A snake, Kabuto thought, he was subservient to a scheming and soulless snake, and there was no other way he would rather have it. "I trust you will be able to handle it? Tonight?"

"Yes...Lord Orouchimaru."

* * *

><p><strong>Hey, guys, this might be kind of a dick move, but I'm re-establishing Quid Pro Quo. Meaning, there are only some twenty-odd chapters of this fanfiction left and they are going to be very action packed and awesome and I'm busy so writing is something of a pain in the ass these days and mostly I REALLY REALLY want 1000 reviews on this thing. It would be HUGE for me. Guys, my stats page says that literally <em>hundreds <em>of people are looking at this every day and it's always just like four who actually review. You guys that have been loyally reviewing, you rock. Internet cookies for all of you. But seriously, _review. _It's _important _to me.**

**Besides that, I need to give myself a deadline for new chapters that isn't "whenever I feel like it" and is reasonable. For that reason, I've decided to update this when I have fifteen reviews on the last chapter. If I end up writing a chapter I think is crappy or short or boring I'll ignore that, but for the rest of the story, that's a thing I would like to happen. Come on, send a few words of encouragement my way. It means a lot! :)**

**And whether you decide to review (YESSS) or not, thanks a lot for reading. You all are the bomb-dot-com (thanks for that rainy) and you're my favorite.**

**-amy out**


	52. Fear is the Mind-Killer

**So the next couple chapters are going to be action covered action donuts stuffed with creamy action filling and sauteed in scrumptious action sauce. Hope you like~!**

* * *

><p>In hindsight, I have to grudgingly admit that it was a pretty great plan.<p>

Pain had ordered us to spend nights patrolling Konoha, looking out for and tailing anyone who even looks like they might be thinking about heading to Oto's base. We were to find them, follow them, go through their things, and 'interrogate' them until they give us information. The prospect of 'interrogating' the kinds of people we were likely to run into, Oto's ground soldiers -namely, kids and poor people trying to get by any way they can- made me a little sick, but I didn't say anything about it.

Itachi, Kisame, and I were assigned to patrol East Side from 10 PM to 2 AM. The first night was largely uneventful. Itachi would catch sight of someone apparently suspicious (I assume their shoes were bought from a store only Oto members had access to or they walked in a way indicating they had a recent gunshot wound or some other similarly obscure shit like that which absolutely no one but Itachi would ever have been able to see), set off in subtle pursuit -every once in a while instructing Kisame to follow him from behind- and about fifteen minutes later would return saying they knew nothing.

I would remember how he had used genjutsu to make me feel like I was about to slit my own throat, and shudder. If he would do that only for the sake of scaring me straight I didn't even want to _think _about what he would do to an enemy.

While Itachi tailed people and Kisame backed him up, I was in charge of watching their tracking devices on monitors and, occasionally, driving to pick them up. An assignment that was really just a thinly disguised order for me to stay the hell out of the way. But hell, it's not like I was complaining; I'm not sneaky and with my red hair and baseball bat and demeanor I'm pretty conspicuous. I would feel so far out of my element trying to follow someone unnoticed that I would almost definitely fuck it up spectacularly. So if Itachi wanted me behind the scenes, I was more than happy to oblige.

On the second night, we were tailed by the cops, so Itachi used genjutsu to make them follow the wrong car. Unfortunately, Itachi soon afterwards reported that his eyes needed a rest (cue guilt attack for yours truly, considering how long he'd spent upholding a genjustu earlier that afternoon so I could practice my fireball technique), and so he brought me along to interrogate a couple who had left a known Oto member's apartment. Don't ask me why he thought it was necessary (it's not like I'm even half as good at _"interrogation" _as either he or Kisame are) but it turned out to be a real stroke of genius. Watching her husband get beat senseless by a fifteen-year-old with a baseball bat produced information from the woman almost immediately. We never even touched her.

By the way: this may go without saying, but you should _not _hit someone in the head if torture is your intent. It causes way too damage; you'll kill them or give them brain damage or send them into shock and none of that's what you want. The midsection is also risky, if you (like me) are kind of squeamish about killing people; it's too easy to cause internal bleeding. Really, you don't even have to be strong if you use a bat.

I remember when Itachi first started training me to use a baseball bat. The first thing he did was bring out a couple molds of human heads. He told me they were synthetic but had the same hardness and bone density and weak points as actual human skulls. He told me to test them out. The one I hit in the side cracked open immediately. The top of the head wasn't as effective, but there was a huge dent in it that oozed clear liquid and I knew without asking equaled brain damage or death. Basically, at full strength I could completely crush a human head with three blows. Obviously in a real fight, Itachi explained to me, I wouldn't be hitting quite as hard (because of a jillion little factors I can't even begin to recall at the moment) but it was still an important lesson.

For an act so hugely repellent, killing people sure is easy to do. Right spot, right force, bam. Over and out.

Anyways, I'm getting off track. The point is, joints, knees and elbows hurt like hell and I've never known them to have killed anyone so they were my main targets.

Anyhow, as it turned out they were just buying drugs. I advised them to stay the hell away from Oto from now on since their product wasn't worth even half the trouble and Sasori's coke was cheaper anyways.

Itachi rolled his eyes at me.

Today, however, shit started to go down.

It was about 12:30 when Itachi very suddenly pulled his black car into a crowded parking lot. "Did you see those three?" he asks us lowly. "No, don't look, Mari." I snap my head back at attention. "I recognize them. They're Oto members. We're going to have to tail them.

I had thought I knew about fear. I had thought, on my countless runs through bullets and knives and violence, I had learned all about fear and dread and panic.

But nothing, nothing I've ever ever felt compared to the way my heart stopped when hands grabbed me and in seconds I was gagged and blindfolded and bound, defenseless, and _ohgodohgodohshitohgod-_

I kicked and screeched desperately, panicking because I was _deaddeaddead-_

Something hard hit me on the top of my head and I saw light from nothing and stopped kicking in shock.

Laughter then. "She learns quick."

Familiar. Familiar voice. I took a deep breath though my nose, hearing Itachi's device, _Stop. Think. Don't panic. _They weren't going to kill me, not yet, because why blindfold a soon-to-be-corpse? _But-_

Someone slapped me. "I warned you you'd regret letting me go, bitch." A girl. _Tayuya!_

And the first voice! It's the white-haired boy from that night!

But then again, there are things so much worse than being killed.

They shoved me and I stumbled. "Walk," the boy snarled. They didn't wait for me to obey before pushing and dragging me roughly in a direction I can't say, careful to hold me between the two of them instead of walking behind me, and before I knew it I heard a car door opening and they shoved me head first into the backseat.

The door slammed. My head was spinning with _escape _and _help _and _torture _and _Itachi _and _death, death, death..._

"That wasn't so hard," the boy muttered from the driver's seat.

Tayuya snorted. "Kabuto said she was brash but I didn't think she was _this _stupid."

I ignored her, struggling. I thought I'd felt the rope give a little bit-

"Which way did Kabuto go?"

"Up the street. Right there."

And the panic comes slowly this time, trickling down slowly but thoroughly, as it dawns on me that he's _looking for Kabuto _and Tayuya is _pointing him out _that means that they're _in their direct line of sight _and they must be about to pick him up, only _seconds _away from picking him up and then he'll get into the car, and the front seat is full so he'll be in the backseat _next, to, me, _and I'm tied down and helpless and nonono-

And here I am now, in terror of today's events and in horror of what's about to happen, what's going to happen, how they'll torture me like we did them and worse (_oh god) _and then they'll kill me, kill me, kill me-

The car stops, no, no, no-

"Hey, Kabuto! Shithead!" Tayuya shouts. "Mission success!"

"You captured the target?"

The target,

I think in disbelief. I _was their target. _

"Yes."

"Excellent." Relish. His voice is full of poisonous relish and satisfaction and I don't even want to hurt him, I want to run now, I want to run and never stop.

The door to my right opens. Someone yanks my hair until I'm not sitting, I'm leaning toward him -because it has to be him, has to be that bastard Kabuto- and all my weight is on my hair, stinging.

"Orouchimaru-sama will be pleased," he says softly. Those are his words, but his voice says volumes more. It says _Got you, found you. I will hurt you, very soon I will hurt you but not yet, not until you are so afraid you're crying and pissing yourself and screaming from fear. _It says he can't wait to hurt me, but he will, because the longer he waits the sweeter it will be.

I have never, never known terror like this, cutting me up inside, shaking and trembling, light-headed and I can't breathe.

I don't even notice the car door closing or the car starting to move. I don't notice how little air I'm getting no matter how rapidly I inhale. I notice instead every shift of Kabuto's weight, every tug of my hair. I notice how he doesn't hurt me, doesn't touch me except to hold my hair. Not pulling. Holding. Making me face him, blindfolded, helpless. I can feel the menace seeping from him like poison gas.

This is how I will die.

"Deep breaths," he tells me lowly, apathetically. "You're hyperventilating."

I don't care,

I want to scream, _you bastard, you piece of shit, I don't care-_

"If you pass out, I can promise you that you will never wake up."

Tayuya laughs maliciously. Oh, god. Oh, god.

I search my mind, flailing, for something to calm me. I breathe in. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. I breathe out. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. _I must not fear._

1, 2, 3, 4, 5. _Fear is the mind-killer._

1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Reciting things has always helped to calm me. _Fear is the little-death-_

Breathe in. _-that brings total obliteration. _

Breathe out. _I will face my fear. _Panic attacks again, because this is so wrong and perverse, him, the enemy, being so close without attacking, making me calm down. _I will allow- allow it to pass over me and through me-_

In, out. Slow. _And when it has left I will turn the inner eye to see its path. _

Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.

Only I will remain.

Apparently Kabuto thinks I've calmed down enough, because he brings my head in front of his, holding my hair loosely. "Obedience is-"

I slam my head toward where the noise comes from. I connect, and it hurts like hell but I don't care. _Only! _I think fiercely. _I! _I'm so desperate to hurt him. I slam again, he grunts. _Will!_

Remain!

Slam. Grunt. My face is wet.

He shoves me and I fall to the ground, to his feet. "Bitch," he snarls, and kicks me in the forehead.

I lay still.

Tayuya laughs. "Having trouble with the captive, Kabuto?"

He ignore her in favor of grabbing me and hoisting me up to his face. "I'm going to kill you with your own bat," he tells me.

He throws me back to the floor.

* * *

><p><em>"Fox, report,"<em> his com unit ordered, audio scratchy and vague.

"_Nothing's happening, Blossom," _he answered.

_"Dammit, Fox, I told you that's not my code name-"_

_"Quiet, both of you,"_ a sharp voice ordered.

"_Screw you, Raven," _'Fox' snapped.

_"Seriously, Fox, this is urgent. I think I've found them,"_ 'Raven' reported.

"_Large shipment of methamphetamines from 213 Audonom street,_" a new voice reported.

"_You sure, Deer Biscuit?"_

'Blossom' sighed in frustration. "_Fox, these code names are terrible-"_

_"I'm sure,"_ Deer Biscuit confirmed. "_I'm going to report it to Them and relay our orders back, you copy?"_

_"Yes."_

_"Yes."_

_"Fo' shizzle."_

_"Good."_

Deer Biscuit disconnected.

* * *

><p>After a long and nerve-wracking drive, the car finally stops. I expect them to grab me and drag me out after them, but instead they wordlessly climb out, slamming and locking the doors behind them.<p>

My first impulse is to start trying to escape by any means necessary. Instead, I take a deep breath and -don't you dare tell anyone- I try to think of what Itachi would tell me to do. _Stay calm. _Okay, check. Look at me, lying here blindfolded and tied up and bleeding and not even panicking at all.

Be aware of your surroundings.

Well, I'm fucking _blindfolded, _aren't I, so how the hell do I do that? I'm in a car. That's my surroundings. _Use them to your advantage. _HOW?! Dammit, Weasel Dick, say something _useful! _

I suddenly hear the door being unlocked and hate myself for the pathetic sound I make.

The door opens and I hear a gun being cocked. "Don't try anything, bitch," snarls a voice I don't recognize as I'm roughly hoisted up. "Oh, damn, they used some kind of twine shit-"

"It's fine," another unfamiliar voice replies. "I grabbed some zip-ties."

My heart beats twice while daring to hope, until I feel the cold touch of a gun to my temple. "One move, and I'll shoot. Got it?"

I don't respond.

The gun descends onto the top of my head, bringing moisture to my eyes upon impact. "_Got it?" _

I nod, and when they untie my hands I do not try to escape.

They fasten the zip-tie around my wrists so tight it feels like a tourniquet, but I don't care. They must me amateurs - they tied my hands in _front. _Gun still to my head, they shove a bag over my head and force me to walk. I keep careful track of where we are (Itachi grilled me on this for an hour once); thirty-three steps forward; forty steps left; door; twelve steps right; and so on. I don't have Itachi's mental gifts but you'd be surprised how much clarity adrenaline can give you, if you manage not to freak out.

Two hundred and forty-nine steps, two doors, and one u-turn later, they shove me unceremoniously to the floor in a room.

"Try anything and you'll die," they tell me, and slam the door.

I force myself to think things through before I do anything else. I remember how the Akatsuki put me in a similar situation, only to see if I would be able to get out. It's possible that's what's going on here. Of course, whether they're watching my actions on a camera or not, I can't exactly just sit here and do nothing.

I sit up, then haphazardly stand. My head throbs. I swallow then begin feeling around the zip-tie, flexing and rubbing my wrists together and pushing the tied bit on my hip until it slides (painfully) around my wrists, the tied part in between my hands and toward me.

I take a step away from the wall, arranging my elbows so that they're on either side of my waist. Then, in one quick move, I bring my knee up and slam my wrists down onto it as hard as I can, pulling them apart as I do so.

I almost can't believe it when it works on the first try. I twist and rub my wrists and arms for a second, trying to convince blood to circulate into my fingers, before tearing the bag and blindfold off my head, along with my gag.

I blink, not expecting the light. It seems there's a desk with a small lantern on one wall, next to an uncomfortable-looking bed. The walls are gray and blue and morose, with no closet. No windows. The room is no more than twelve square feet.

I blink a few times and look closer. The walls are decorated with tiny music symbols.

I look around the room for anything that could be used as a weapon. Nope, nothing. Not even under the bed. The door, of course, is locked, but all I need is something long and hard to-

Shit! The doorknob's jiggling!

I kick the gag and blindfold under the bed, shoving the bag back over my head and tying it, falling back on the floor in a heap. I barely manage to press the broken tie of the blue plastic zip-tie around my wrists before the door opens and someone walks in.

I jump visibly, reminding myself that he thinks I can't see or talk. I just watch the man carefully, trying to get all details I possibly can.

He walks so quietly it's unnerving over to the bed, taking a seat. Sandals. Black...sweatpants? A white apron-looking thing. Long black hair and...oh my god...

I have to force myself not to recoil when I see his face. It's not even accurate to say he's ugly. He's wearing some kind of white paint all over his face, another shade around his eyes, he looks almost like a juggalo. But that's not the unnerving part. It's his eyes. The way he stares at me, yellow eyes -I swear they're yellow, some kind of very light green shade that looks even yellower reflecting the dim light- wide and crazy, smirking and menacing and Kabuto had nothing on this.

Snake.

The word enters my mind unbidden and I remember the first time I held a snake. I was ten and at a friend of Joseph's. I was a bit nervous at first, but it didn't really bother me. He was slick and not slimy like I thought he would be. I actually thought he was pretty chill. When he tried to climb up a wall and kept falling, that sealed it; snakes did not scare me.

Until a couple months later, when I was visiting that same person's house. They'd caught a mouse and were feeding it to their pet.

I tried to look away but couldn't. The mouse was obviously terrified, scraping and clawing, trying with all it could to escape and I knew, I _knew _it was pointless, and so did it and so did the snake. But it didn't attack like I thought it would. I thought the snake would lash out and kill the mouse immediately and eat it and it would be fine, circle of life you know, everything's gotta die and everything gotta eat. But it just sat there. Staring at the little guy. For several minutes, but it probably felt like an eternity to him.

Finally the snake lashed out in a split second and killed the damn thing and I yelped without meaning to. "Everything has to eat," the mother of the house had told me drily.

"Yeah," I said quietly. "I know." I couldn't look away.

The snake _swallowed the mouse whole _and then sat there digesting and after second just turned around and looked at me, I _swear _it looked at me right in the eyes and-

I don't like snakes.

"I must apologize," the man says suddenly. His voice gives me the creeps like nothing else. "This is not how I would prefer for us to meet, but sadly, extenuating circumstances must be taken into account."

I don't answer.

"I don't believe we've been properly introduced."

I stay silent.

"You may refer to me as Orouchimaru-sama."

Shit. Shit. _Shit! _This is Orouchimaru, the leader who ordered Oto to fire on civilians and force children to join, who kidnapped people to expirement on them, who has countless victims and enemies who wouldn't even dare to speak his name. The only man more infamous than this would have to be Pain, and possibly Itachi.

"I would ask your name, but we both know I already know it, and I would prefer not to begin our conversation standing on pretense...Mari-san." Fuck. "And even on that dress, we both know you have managed to remove your gag by now."

Double fuck. I want to ask a million questions, like _Why me, why'd you kidnap me _and _what are you going to do to me_ and _how the hell do I get out of here _and _please please let me go_ but I don't, I stop myself, because I already know the answers to all of those and begging would only serve to take away the only small amount of control over the situation I still have. Instead I take a deep breath. "What's Kabuto's problem with me?"

He laughs, darkly, sinisterly. "I believe the problem is well resolved now."

I hate him, I decide. I hate this man, in addition to being terrified of him. I can barely see him, but his voice is full to bursting with silk and poison and cloaked daggers. His voice makes it feel like he's closer than he is, violating without contact. I hate it. I hate him.

"I suppose you must be wondering why you're here."

I don't answer. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of knowing how entirely confused I am.

"I understand that you are Uchiha Itachi's first protoge, correct?"

"..."

"I see." Damn it, I should've denied it. Silence after a statement like that is as good as a confirmation. "Kabuto reports that several of the Akatsuki are rather..._protective_ of their newest recruit. A certain sharingan user in particular."

Oh that is such bullshit. I seethe. Kabuto must have lied to Orouchimaru about that because not once has Itachi ever done anything 'protective' in the field. He defends me the same he does everyone else; I'm not special. But why, though? Why would Orouchimaru care if Itachi was protective of-

Wait. "You think..." I pause. "You think kidnapping me will help you? You think Itachi's going to come and _save _me?" I ask incredulously.

"Why would he not?"

"Have you _met _the guy?"

Orouchimaru laughs softly. "You underestimate your own influence, Sui-san. But this is beside the point. I am a very busy man. I just believe that a guest has the right to meet her host. Obviously, I'm going to have to discourage any escape attempts. It would be quite...ill-advised. "

If he thinks I'm going to just not escape because of that, he's way too stupid to be the head of Oto. I wait, sensing something more.

"Also, you should know that we have signal-scrambling devices on every floor here." _Multiple floors. _"The tracking device in your shoe has been disabled."

Yep, there it is. After all, he wouldn't want the Akatsuki knowing exactly where I am. He wants them to come barging in through walls and killing his own men with a huge racket, the kind of thing he can find and track easily.

He stands and heads toward the door. "I hope you will find your time here...enjoyable." He leaves.

What a fucking creep.

As soon as I hear the door lock, I throw the bag off my face and press my eyes down at the bottom of the door. His feet are moving away, but I see a shadow. I watch for several minutes before deciding that it can't be Kabuto. The shadow is too short, moves too stiffly.

I sit down, wrapping my arms around my knees in the middle of the floor, and start planning escape.

* * *

><p>Naruto was nervous.<p>

His hand continuously started sweating, making it hard for him to keep a grip on the gun he'd been given. Despite having been trained in shinobi arts, advanced firepower should never be underestimated. "The ninja ways didn't take modern warfare into account," Tsunade had told them. "There are no jutsus for dodging bullets, other then perhaps the sharingan or Byakugan in their advanced stages."

Sasuke and Neji had smirked. Hinata poked her fingers together.

"We've had to evolve the ninja arts to suit today's purposes," Tsunade went on. "If you think it's cowardly or coarse, I don't care. We're doing whatever it takes to win."

Naruto still couldn't believe his luck sometimes, that Tsunade had somehow heard about his, Sasuke's, and Sakura's endeavor to rescue Gaara from the Akatsuki's clutches. He had spent almost a year now, training and pushing himself. No feeling had ever compared to the way he'd felt when he finally achieved success in Multi-Shadow Clone jutsu. He could hardly believe it was real. It felt almost like magic.

It was hard not to feel drunk with power.

Now, though. Now he was nervous.

Tsunade had relayed through Shikimaru her orders that Naruto and Sakura enter the building first, making sure that it was in fact Oto's headquarters, then radioing in directions for the rest of the team. Neji and Sasuke would follow them in; Hinata and Shikimaru would watch from a neighboring building, Hinata using her newly-awoken Byakugan to tell Shikimaru where everyone was and Shikimaru giving them orders through the com units.

"Does she really want us to _kill _them_?" _Sakura asked Shikamaru, sounding worried.

There was a pause. Naruto listened closely for the answer.

"_Try not to," _Shikamaru answered.

_I'm not afraid of anything,_ he reminded himself. _I never back down. _

He walked as stealthily as he could (read, not very) into the large multi-car garage of the building he was supposed to infiltrate. He noticed the numerous doors and quickly summoned four shadow clones of himself. "Be quiet," he told them, pointing out which doors to follow. "You know what we're looking for."

"Got it!"

"We're on it, boss!"

"Don't worry!" they crowed as they ran off into the building.

Naruto took a deep breath and ran into the remaining corridor. _I'm coming, guys. Don't worry. _

* * *

><p>I start laughing. Quietly at first. Then louder. "This was way too easy," I say suddenly, after I've deemed the laugh unnerving enough. "You guys are way gullible, you know?"<p>

My boy guarding the door doesn't answer, but I notice him shift his weight. Nervous? Tired? Either way...

"Seriously, you actually _took me _straight to your headquarters. Fuckin' morons."

He stays quiet, but I can practically _feel _his curiosity.

"I knew Oto was dumb, but this is crazy. You're all going to die, you know."

"Shut up, bitch," he finally snaps. "You're the one who's dead."

I grin. _Gotcha. _"You sure about that, buddy?"

I wait a minute. "You have no idea of the full might of the Akatsuki. If I were you, I'd run."

He laughs. "You can't trick me, cunt."

"I already have," I singsong back.

I hear him shift his feet around, uneasily.

"Really, though, what do you think I've been doing all these months with the Akatsuki? Twiddling my thumbs? Playing video games?" I laugh. "I'm the most dangerous woman in Konoha, shithead. You think your idiot bosses could've captured me if I didn't _want them to?" _

"You're full of shit," he says, but he sounds nervous.

"Keep telling yourself that, boy." I make a loud show of standing up, stretching leisurely. "After all, when I escape with all this great information about Oto to bring back to Pain, I'm sure your superiors will be understanding."

"What are you doing?"

I hook my foot under the bed and start making hand signs. _I have to time this perfectly. _"Nothing," I say innocently.

I bring my foot up violently, making the lightweight bed tip over to the floor along with the lamp, making a huge crashing noise. At the very same time I look toward the crack of the door, mouth _Fire style, Fireball Jutsu! _and blow a thin stream of flames toward the bottom of the door. Not big enough to actually destroy things as the jutsu is meant to, but enough to do what I was hoping.

"HEY!"

I don't say a word, or move, or breathe, or anything.

The guard curses and I hear the sound of a key being shoved into the lock. I reach down and feel around the broken lamp pieces until I find a suitable shard and then slink toward the shadows in the corner next to the door.

The door opens. I don't hesitate.

I wish I could tell you I just made use of my kung-fu ninja skills and hit him in the back of the head really hard so he was knocked out and collapsed, and then I made a snarky self-satisfied one liner and stepped over his slumbering body triumphantly. Unfortunately life isn't an action-comedy movie.

I jam the broken piece of glass into his jugular, twist, and drag it. Its disgusting and horrifying. He gargles and chokes and falls to the floor and I have to back away and shut my eyes and squeeze my hands over my ears, even though I'm in a lot of danger, until I'm certain he's dead. When I finally do open my eyes, blinking against the light from the lanterns in the hallways, the pool of blood is so big it almost reaches me three feet away.

I'm shaking as I take his gun. "I'm sorry," I blubber, nonsensical, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry-"

Yeah, well, I'm not proud of it, okay? It's a hell of a thing to kill someone, especially like that. But it was him or me, wasn't it? He would've killed me too, wouldn't he?

But that's the thing. I'll never know if he would or not. Maybe he would've grabbed a knife and raised it over me and been about to kill me but at the exact wrong second looked down into my eyes and hesitated. Had mercy. Let me live because he isn't a killer. Maybe the kid I tricked and then killed was a good person in a bad situation. Maybe this was supposed to be _his _story, not mine, and I took that away from him.

I'll never know, though. I'll never know a thing about the life I took so callously, and that's what makes me shake the most.

_It was twenty steps to the left before they shoved me in here,_ I think numbly, checking the shotgun. Fully loaded. I cock it and turn off the safety without thinking about it. _So I have to take twenty steps to the right...then turn right and head straight for fifteen steps, and there should be a door..._

* * *

><p>"Here we go," Sasori muttered, watching the red blinking dot on the screen, in the passenger's seat of their parked car. "Got her."<p>

"You've got a location?" Itachi asked, staring intently at the screen.

"Affirmative. 213 Audonom Street," Sasori reported. "She's on the move."

Kisame chuckled. "How did you even know she would use it, Itachi?"

"Mari would not risk her own neck merely to follow orders." Itachi quickly compiled a plan of action in his mind. "Kisame, please alert Pain-sama of this. Deidara, locate the others. We're going to attack."

* * *

><p>I don't see anyone as I venture through the halls, although every now and then I hear a snatch of conversation. I'm really hoping I can just get out of here quickly, because if I fire my gun chances are every solitary person in this building is going to hear it and chase me and I'll probably get lost. Hell, I probably already am lost. <em>Itachi's going to be so pissed when he finds out I used the fireball jutsu. <em>

What was that?! I crouch down in a shadowy area, pulling out my shotgun and aiming it toward the noise, heart pounding. I listen closely; footsteps. Not too close, but getting closer. I walk, very softly, toward them. When I can tell they're coming from the left I flatten myself against the westernmost wall.

Step. Step. Step. Closer and closer. I bend my knees, ready to spring into attack.

They're _right there! _I swing the gun like a baseball bat as soon as I can see their head.

It's a boy, with brown hair and a white T-shirt with the Oto insignia on it. I hit him in the temple. He falls against the wall, crumpling to the ground.

Unfortunately as I do that, I accidentally shoot the gun. _Shit! _The noise echoes, impossibly loud, throughout the corridors.

"What the hell?" I hear somebody in a nearby room ask. A doorknob jiggles. _SHIT! _

I run aimlessly, forgetting about getting lost, just wanting to escape. I turn a corner, another.

"It's the captive!"

"Catch her!"

They're getting closer, closer-

I turn around and aim the gun. I fire. Twice.

I miss both times.

Firing the gun made me slow down and the man chasing me closest jumps and grabs my leg, I trip and fall and the shotgun clatters to the floor, I turn and kick the man in the face twice until he lets go and I dive for the gun-

Someone snatches it out of my reach, and I would be finished but the adrenaline is so potent through me that I jump behind him and when he turns it's so slow it's like everything is in slow motion and I don't even realize I'm doing hand signs until I'm bringing my fingers to my lips and imaging a fire so hot it could incinerate stone and I feel chakra focusing not in my fingers or in my mouth but at a point in air in _front _of them and I shout "FIRE STYLE, FIREBALL JUTSU!"

And the heat, the heat, the screaming and the burning-

I let the jutsu dissipate early and let out a low guttural howl of horror and anguish and turn to run. My first successful fireball jutsu devours its victims and spreads down the hallway for a quick second before it vanishes, leaving only the men it touched being incinerated by flames, screaming and screaming and someone's _still _chasing me, how, after all of that _how-_

They catch me. Oh, God help me, he catches me and hits me and I'm fighting but in close quarters I lose all my advantage and he's way stronger and shit. Shit. Shit!

All of a sudden the beating stops. I roll to my feet and look down at him, flabbergasted, seeing my assailant is now unconscious.

"Mari?"

The voice is incredulous and surprised and...familiar.

I turn to see who it is, and practically faint. "_Sakura_?"

* * *

><p><strong>Le drama! Or something. I don't know.<strong>

**By the way: the technique Mari used for breaking out of a zip-tie is a real thing, although I just relayed the basic steps from something I saw on youtube. Go ahead and check it out, it's something all girls should at least have an idea of how to do.**

**This chapter is a good 2000 words longer than I usually write. I'm pretty happy with it. It would've actually been even longer, but my computer's a douchebag, so what can ya do.**

**I very narrowly avoided being grounded on Friday. Consider yourselves lucky.**

**If you haven't read blackcatgirl's sequel yet, go! It's up! YAYYYY**

**As always, thanks for reading, and I'll update again at =15! Thank you guys so much for your support!**


	53. Infiltrations, Escapes

**Geez, sorry it took so damn long! Internet complications, not to mention I lost my flash drive with all my stories and music on it. Lame.**

**Also, I totally have a boyfriend now. :3 He's kind of an obnoxious shit, but what can you do.  
><strong>

* * *

><p>Sakura is the <em>last <em>person I would've expected to see here. But then, I'm sure she's thinking the exact same thing about me.

"_Mari?" _she asks again, incredulously. "What are you doing here?"

"I was kidnapped! What are you-"

"I can't tell you that," she cuts me off.

I roll my eyes. "Lemme guess, you're here for Anbu, right?"

Her mouth drops open. "How the _hell _did you-"

"Akatsuki," I remind her, not wanting to sell Naruto out for spilling the beans.

"Right," she responds bitterly. "I should've known." I can see the calculating look in her eyes and am taken aback. This girl is so many miles ahead of the good - natured, bookish, far-from-fearsome pinkette I hung out with at lunch last year. Her eyes look hard and determined. "What else do your people know about us?" she asks aggressively.

I raise my hands. "Whoa, Sakura, chill, man! Just because _I _know, doesn't mean they do. We aren't out to get you." But even as I say that, I feel like I'm lying. I barely got away with not telling the Akatsuki what I know before, and Pain is bound to find out that they're learning ninja arts, and when he does we are most definitely going to be out to get them.

Sakura gives me a look that manages to be both withering and hopeful. It seems a look half aimed at the Akatsuki member she sees as her enemy and half as the Mari she sees as her friend. I rush on: "It doesn't matter right now. What are you trying to do?"

She frowns, and I recognize the look of gears spinning in her brain, fast as lightning. I can almost guess at her thought process: _Can't tell the enemy – but she probably knows anyway – but what if she doesn't? IF she's an Akatsuki she's dangerous – but also could use her help – it's risky – but she's my friend. _I watch as determined resolution fills her eyes. "Did Naruto tell you about the Tailed Beasts?"

"Bits and pieces," I respond shortly, eager to get this interview over and get going. I think dimly that Itachi, or Pain, or any of them come to think of it, would kill me if they knew I wasn't pumping her for information, but when you get down to it spying isn't my department. Right now my job is to survive, and the longer we stand here yapping the harder that's going to be. "Lemme guess, you wanna save 'em, right?"

She nods.

I take a deep breath, and make a quick decision. "I guess I might as well help you out. I have a bone to settle with these guys, anyways." I touch the bruise on the back of my neck, my eyes narrowing. I don't care how terrified I may or may not be of him, that Kabuto is going to get his tonight. No one gets to repeatedly taunt an Akatsuki member like that. No one gets to repeatedly taunt _me _like that.

"Are you sure? It's going to be dan…" Sakura trails off when she sees my raised eyebrow. "Fine. Well, you should know the plan then-"

We both jump as we hear the sound of a door slamming open down the hall. "Tell me on the way," I suggest, and follow her as we run as swiftly and as quietly as possible toward the bowels of Oto headquarters.

* * *

><p>One and a half minutes.<p>

Three and a half minutes after Mari had activated the chakra-dependent tracker in her shirt collar by attempting the Fireball Jutsu, the Akatsuki was aware of where she was being held, and consequently where Oto's headquarters were most likely located -having been informed by a combination of cell phones and Zetsu.

Two minutes after the blinking red dot had begun moving slowly but surely through what Itachi could only assume was a veritable maze of tunnels, Itachi and Kisame were in their car, speeding through traffic at a speed that was both expertly controlled and thoroughly illegal, toward 213 Audonom Street.

Three minutes after Mari was located, the red dot began flickering at a much greater speed than before, indicating a large influx and release of chakra in the westernmost area of what they could only assume was the Oto headquarters. "Hn," Itachi grunted in response, and it seemed to Kisame that he must've pressed the gas pedal down a little more vigorously.

* * *

><p>Two minutes.<p>

Two minutes after word came from the psychotic black-and-green Venus flytrap tunneling up through the sidewalk that Mari's location had been pinpointed in a spot mere blocks from where Deidara and his danna were searching, Sasori's sleek Jaguar pulled up within a hundred feet of the building.

"Are you sure this is the place, hm?" Deidara asked Sasori.

"Yes." Sasori opened the door of the car and climbed out. Deidara followed suit.

Deidara was _not _worried. He was not worried about that insufferable girl's well-being.

He was angry. Yeah, he guessed that would be accurate as he walked purposefully slowly toward a garage door, staring straight at it, emotionless. He was angry, the kind of anger that demanded to be exuded through any means possible. Angry at Mari for getting caught. Angry at Oto for not being dead yet. Angry at Itachi for not doing his job and keeping her out of trouble. Explosive anger.

That's why, without pausing to consult Sasori-danna or contemplate possible repercussions, Deidara set his hand to work forming a bird out of explosive clay, sending it directly toward the wall of the east wing of the brick Oto building.

* * *

><p>"So where's the rest of your team?" I ask Sakura under my breath as we walk quietly through the dim hallways, willing our footsteps not to echo.<p>

"Hinata and Deer Bisc- I mean, Shikamaru," she amends swiftly, "are outside watching. They're supposed to be relaying instructions through this," she says, pulling apart her hair and pointing at the comm unit in her left ear, "but the line's dead."

I nod. "Yeah, they have some kind of electrical scrambler, blocks out signals."

"How do you know that?"

"Orouchimaru told me."

"_Orouchimaru-"_

_"_Long story," I cut her off. "So what else about your team?"

She purses her lips. "Neji, Sasuke, Naruto, and I are all entering at different points. We're supposed to free anyone Oto has hostage before-" She cuts herself off.

"Before what?"

"Classified," she answers in a voice so hard I know there's no convincing her.

"Fine."

"What about your..._team_?"

"My team has to be considered a loose cannon, man," I reply. "They might come looking, and might not. We have to assume-"

I'm cut off by the sound of an explosion, the whole building shaking on impact. My eyes widen. Sakura curses. Instinctively we crouch into the shadows of an unlit corner in what appears to be a dead end as doors open, voices shout at each other, wondering the same thing we are -_what on earth was that?! _

Sakura pants under her breath. "Fuck! Did they find one of us? But why would they destroy their own building-"

She stops when she sees me behind her, grinning. She frowns, asking wordlessly for an explanation.

I chuckle. "That'd be my team. The cavalry's here, man!"

* * *

><p>Naruto, hearing the bomb go off, immediately dropped to his belly on the floor. Speculations could be made as to why he felt that this was the safest course of action; probably it had something to do with the 'stop, drop, and roll' advice he'd been given pertaining to fire, and well, explosions had to do with fire, didn't they?<p>

After realizing his limbs were all still attached, Naruto jumped back to his feet. _What on earth was that?! _he wondered, bewildered. Nobody had told him anything about blowing things up!

Well, it must've been top-secret or something. That was annoying. After all, he was part of the group, too!

But after a moment, Naruto ceased being irritated by his comrade's failure to keep him updated. After all, if explosions were going off, that meant whatever the plan was, it was going well, right?

He grinned and redoubled his speed toward the basements of Oto.

* * *

><p>This plan was <em>not <em>going well.

Shikamaru folded his hands in front of his face like a steeple, brain working in overtime, as Hinata watched the building in impotent worry as if the cold stone walls would give away the well-being of their friends. First, their agents on the inside stop responding to his inquiries and orders over the comm unit. Then, even the static sound of silence slipped away from him, thinning out one after another as each one of their communication units were completely shut off. Shikamaru could only assume the worst.

Then, mere seconds later, cars start showing up. Hinata didn't notice anything odd about them, but Shikamaru, having a hunch, bade her to use her Byakugan to check out if anything was up.

Something was most definitely up.

"Th-the big one," Hinata reported through her omnipresent stutter. "He has w-way more chakra than usual."

Shikamaru nodded. "Can you-"

BOOM.

They were a good distance away from the site of what Shikamaru could only assume was an explosion, but they could definitely hear it.

"What was that?!" Hinata demanded, so shocked she forgot to st-stutter.

"A bomb, probably," Shikamaru deadpanned. He pressed the button on the device around his neck and tried in vain once more to contact his team. "Come in, Fox. Raven. Fortune Cookie?"

Hinata shook her head. "It won't work. I s-saw it disconnect."

Shikamaru nearly growled in frustration. "How are we supposed to know if they're alive?"

"You're forgetting something," she answered, glancing at him, veins around her eyes protrudent and disturbing. "I can still see them."

"Ah. Thank Kami," Shikamaru exhaled. "But what about those people pulling up?"

Hinata bit her lip. "Ah...you may want to...use your telescope..."

Shikamaru frowned, but obliged, setting his sights on the nearest figure, and zooming in-

-just in time to see the red could insignia of the Akatsuki on his back before he slipped into the building.

"Troublesome," Shikamaru muttered.

"Should we..." Hinata let the suggestion hang in the air.

"No," he responded, though neither of them knew exactly what Hinata had been about to suggest. "We have no guarantee about their motives." The Akatsuki's presence during this mission was a previously unacknowledged variable, but they would have to try and use it to their advantage. They had no chance of recalling their operatives, or of retrieving them from within and saving their mission for another day. It had to be done _immiediately. _

Shikamaru removed the headpiece and handed it to Hinata. "Report everything to Tsunade-sama," he instructed her. "And let me think."

"Hai," Hinata murmured, and dialed the thre-digit code that connected her with their mentor.

Shikamaru re-folded his hands and closed his eyes.

* * *

><p>"Your team – <em>right now?" <em>Sakura hisses as we wait for the last of the stragglers to run toward the site of the explosion. "Why would they set a bomb in the building?"

"Why not, man?" I counter.

"But they have to know you're in here," Sakura explains. "They could've killed you."

I shrug. "I don't think they're as concerned about me as you think." Not thinking about Deidara, nope. He was probably ordered to blow up the side of the building, for reasons entirely specific to the mission of taking down Oto. That's all.

Sakura gives me another one of those strange looks – like she feels like she's forgotten something and the longer she looks at me, the more likely she'll remember. I don't like it, so I change the subject. "Hey, don't you have a mission to do, man?"

She nods uncertainly. "We weren't expecting the building to be this big. I'm supposed to search the bottom two floors, but I'm not even sure what floor we're on right now-"

She stops talking abruptly as another Oto man runs the same way all his comrades had been headed moments before. There's no time to think, so I don't. Before I can come to my senses I jump him as quickly as possible, hooking my arm around his windpipe and squeezing, bracing myself for the pain.

"Mari!" Sakura protests, but as I'm being banged against the wall repeatedly, I don't really give a damn. _Man, I want my bat. _

Sakura turns out to be more competent than I gave her credit for, adapting to the new situation quickly – by which I mean, she pulls out a bottle of Mace from her back pocket and aims it directly at the man's face. "Stand still!" she orders, in a voice so harsh and cold coming from a girl her size that he actually stops resisting. I can feel his throat battling against my restrictive limbs, laboring to give him breath, and I know if I hold on for much longer he'll pass out, useless. I have to work fast. "Where are your prisoners?" I demand.

"..." The man tries to speak, but can't, instead muttering a stream of choked gargles. Oh, yeah, I'm choking him. I release my grip slightly.

"Little bitches...kill you-"

I silence him quickly, flashing my ring in front of his face. "I'm not some scared little girl, you little shit," I hiss. "_Where are your prisoners?" _

He doesn't answer.

I tighten my grip.

He makes a loud choking noise and I loosen slightly. "It's…basement…to the left…"

"The Akatsuki thanks you," I tell him, wondering when my voice became so unpleasant. "You've been a great help."

And I start to squeeze again.

The man lets out a ghastly choking noise, his throat convulsing and twitching for all it's worth to get air into it, but I hold on tight. He flails around, apparently trying to hit me, but unsuccessfully. He scratches my hands, bangs me against the wall behind him three times. It hurts, but each time less so.

Finally he stands, stumbling, before -it almost seems in slow motion- he finally falls. Unfortunately, he falls backwards, crushing me under him.

"OW! Son of a bitch!" I complain, but I hold onto his throat for a few more moments, denying his brain the oxygen it will need to reboot the Oto man is no longer conscious, his body is still valiantly trying to keep him alive and wake him up as soon as possible, and I can't have that. I hold on.

"Mari, you'll kill him!" Sakura burst out, apparently no longer able to control herself.

"Oh, please." My hands release, and I crawl out from under him, staring at his face and praying he doesn't wake. His Adam's apple jumps up and down as he finally breathes normally, his lungs gratefully receiving the oxygen. I watch as he breathes steadily, but doesn't wake. "I just had to make sure he doesn't wake up. Not soon, at least."

I scour the hallway, looking for a place to hide him. "Sakura, you wouldn't happen to have any rope or anything on you, would you?"

She doesn't answer. The silence sounds pointed, and I look over my shoulder. She is standing stock-still, Mace still in hand lowered to her side. Her muscles are rigid and stiff, staring at the knocked out man on the ground. She raises her eyes to me. "I...for a minute, I really thought you would kill him," she says plainly.

I roll my eyes. "What good would that do? He's our only lead. We'll need to interrogate him later if those captives aren't in the basement." I open the door the man came out of, pleased to see that it's small, dark, and empty. And is that a belt on the floor? Perfect. "Come on, we can tie him up in here- _now_ what?" I ask, somewhat snappishly, as I see that she's still just standing there.

She bites her lip and avoids my gaze. "Nothing."

"Good. Now come on, we're wasting time..."

* * *

><p>Sasuke walked down the halls purposefully. He was thankful for the darkness; it was fitting in this situation.<p>

Orouchimaru was exactly where he'd said he would be. He was facing the wall away from Sasuke, but although Sasuke seemed to arrive silently, greeted him before Sasuke made himself known. "Sasuke," the man said lowly, with a kind of sick affection that was almost a purr. "My dear boy."

"I am here," Sasuke said tonelessly. "Now uphold your end of the deal."

Orouchimaru chuckled. "Patience, Saskue-kun..."

"I've _been_ patient," Sasuke snarled. "I'm through with patience. Where is he?"

"What a precocious child." Sasuke had to restrain himself from answering that he was _not _a child, and had not been for a painfully long time. "Your brother will be here shortly...you see, we have here someone he seems rather keen to protect."

This snake of a man was toying with him. Sasuke knew that, and he wouldn't allow himself to be baited into asking who, who could it possibly be that that psychopath would want to protect? "Good."

"In the meantime, why don't you sit," Orouchimaru requested silkily -or rather, made a pretense as if he were suggesting the possibility, when really they both knew Sasuke had little choice. "We have rather a lot of things to discuss, wouldn't you agree?"

* * *

><p>The Akatsuki.<p>

Tsunade had to lean back in her chair when she heard the news, staring into space without seeing.

She had sent her team of newbies up against the Akatsuki. Or well, not against them, but in a situation where they were bound to meet.

This was bad. Very, very bad. Oto was one thing -just a bunch of half-baked gangsters who thought the Ninja Arts were about as relevant today as Morse Code, fools who her trained team of youngsters would have no problem dealing with- but she happened to know firsthand the damage the Akatsuki could deal. She would never, in a hundred years, set them against...

She sighed, pulling out a glass and filling it with sake. At this point there was nothing for it but to wait. Orouchimaru's defenses were too good for her, or others, to pass, what with his chakra-sensing alarms and such. Only novices had a chance of freeing those poor souls. And now, with a new variable being added to the situation, the plan would have to do. They couldn't afford to cancel and try again; every day they delayed equaled lives lost.

_I have to trust these kids can do it, _she thought. _I have all my bets wagered on them. _

Naruto's face swam into her mind. She didn't know if she should scowl or laugh. As a compromise she drank another glass of sake.

_Kami help them._

* * *

><p><strong>This is shorter than I'd like, but it'll have to do! I can't keep you guys waiting on that same cliffhanger for another two weeks.<strong>

**So again, I'm sorry for this having taken so long, but between homework and debate and drama and having an actual social life spring up out of nowhere (there's your fuckin' plot twist) and having out stupid internet shut off AGAIN, I haven't had a lot of time. I'm really going to try and wrap this up soon, but not so soon that it'll make the ending rushed. I mean, you've gotta have all the conflicts resolved. Prepare for all kinds of closure up in this bitch. Yeah, I don't know what I'm talking about.**

**Angels, Devils, and Ipods has been updated numerous times, and is still a good thing to read if anyone's interested. If any of you are in the Kane Chronicles/Rick Riordan fandom, maybe check out my newest story, Descendant of the Challenger. Blackcatgirl's sequel is still worth reading. **

**Review? Please? For my smiles and happiness? And also so I will be motivated to update again quicker?**


	54. The Black Parade

**Someone commented that this story has lost its comedic value. I have to agree with you, and before I go on with this chapter, I want to address your concerns. When I first started this, I never expected it to have any readers, or to get so many ideas for it. A lot of it is because Mari morphed from what I saw as a generic "badass" OC into someone with flaws and weaknesses and issues of her own. She became fully formed, and I couldn't just leave her like that, cussing and ranting and arguing with Hidan and yelling at Deidara for cheap laughs. I want this to have an actual plot, which brings us to the current state, where the genre should really be Drama/Action/Adventure.**

**So really I am sorry if I'm failing to deliver the way I used to. I just hope you guys who came for the comedy and romance teasers (I really was merciless about dangling that in your faces before it actually happened) will now stay for the action and intrigue. And hey, no reason to give up on comedy just yet!**

**Lyrics from Welcome to the Black Parade by My Chemical Romance.**

* * *

><p>"Shit!" Sakura cursed, dropping to the ground with amazing speed. "Enemies ahead."<p>

"How many?"

"Two."

"I got it."

"Mari, what-"

I jump out from behind the corner, brandishing the knife I'd taken from the other men, the tip of it still glowing with heat. I aimed strategically this time, and stabbed in the spots Itachi had told me had a high concentration of nerve endings, the non-lethal spots that would hurt like all hell. I kicked one in the balls, the other in the left collarbone, sawing at the bone, he screamed for a moment before going into shock and falling silent, and I kicked the other in the temple twice until he slumped, unconscious. Hopefully. You never quite know with head shots.

I yank the knife out, standing up. "We're good. Come on."

Sakura isn't moving. She's staring at the men, her face as white as a ghost. "You...killed them."

"No I didn't. That one's in shock, the other's unconscious. Someone will find them and call the hospital. Probably."

"What if they don't?!" she sounds distressed.

"Not our problem," I respond callously. I don't want to hear her reaction to the violence. She's new to this, and I don't need to be reminded of what it was like when I was, too. "I think there are stairs over there."

I start in the direction I pointed. After a moment I hear Sakura following. "Mari, what did they _do _to you?"

* * *

><p>Naruto gulped. The radio units were off.<p>

No big deal. He knew what he was supposed to do. He had to make his way into the core of the building and look for the cells where the Orouchimaru bastard was keeping the pseudo-jinchuriki and Gaara and let them go. He didn't need Shikamaru to tell him that.

Still, though. It was less scary when he could at least talk to his teammates. Being alone never helped anything.

He walked as quietly as he could (admittedly, not very) around corners, looking for stairs, hand sweating around the metal of his gun. He was a pretty good aim, if he did say so himself, but he'd never actually shot a person before.

Naruto thought back to last year, when some punks had jumped out to attack Sakura, and he had frozen in fear. He repressed shame, determination taking its place. _That will never happen again, _he told himself. _I'll save them _and _protect Sakura._

* * *

><p>I have mixed feelings on helping Sakura with her mission of liberating whatever prisoners Oto has in stock. For one thing, hells yeah, let's get all these poor unfortunate souls out of their slimy clutches. For another, I'm pissed about being kidnapped and beat on, so of course I'm excited about sticking it to them.<p>

_When I was a young boy_

_My father took me to the city _

_To see a marching band_

On the other hand, though, this is all too suspicious. Naruto and Sakura and whoever else they're working with may be naïve about the goings-on of the various underground organizations of Konoha City, but I am not. Someone is behind "Anbu"'s plan of shutting down Oto's fucked-up human trafficking scheme, and while they probably think they're doing a good thing, their leaders may be doing a good thing for a shitty reason. Good Samaritans very rarely send children into dangerous situations like this. Someone is standing to gain something tangible from this entire ordeal.

On a more personal note, I'm reluctant to work side-by-side with Sakura in something like this because, whatever Anbu is, Pain isn't going to like it. Especially when I report to him that they're competent enough to actually infiltrate Oto, and with good enough leaders to plan something like this out. He may not strike tonight, or even soon, but as soon as another power comes into play, he's going to do everything he can to undermine them. And so am I, because while it might make me a bad person and a shitty friend, no way am I going to risk my life, or Joseph's, or Kai's, for Sakura's…or Naruto's. I hate the idea, but every possible thing of any advantage will be reported back to Itachi or Pain at the first opportunity.

_But that's all an issue for another time_, I think. Right now, in the immediate future, I'm going to help release people from imprisonment. Probably including saving children from being "experimented" upon. This is a good thing. A humanitarian thing, and for now it's untouched by the Akatsuki's particular brand of nihilistic anarchy.

Me and Sakura take another staircase downwards, still hearing the echoing sounds of fighting behind us. I keep feeling like I should be up there, making sure no one hurts or kills my boys, but that's the kind of thing Itachi would call "counter-productively impulsive", which would be his condescending way of saying that it's not like I would do that much good by running out and courageously fighting Oto members to the death while Sakura fends for herself trying to release the prisoners. I have a mission. No, I have two: Pain's mission of finding out what I can about Oto, and the mission I gave myself of saving as many innocent lives as I possibly can. And then burning this building to the ground, with the Oto leaders in it.

_This has to end tonight._

"Here," Sakura says, stopping in front of a door. "The chakra signature is enormous."

"Uh...really?" I ask, thinking vaguely that I shouldn't reveal how little I know about the finer points of chakra management and the ninja arts. It would reflect badly upon Akatsuki; we're supposed to be the experts in badassery of every shape and form.

Sakura nods. "There has to be nearly a hundred people in there. And some of the chakra is…strange."

"That'd be the experiments. You've heard of those, right?"

Sakura nods grimly. "How are we going to get in?"

I consider pros and cons for a second. On one hand, I'm not supposed to be showing off that I know this. On the other hand, I was just thinking about how the Akatsuki is supposed to be all badass and intimidating, so wouldn't this help? Besides, Sakura probably saw earlier-

It takes several seconds for it to sink in how ashamed I should be that my first thought wasn't about the lives of the innocents behind the door. "Step back, man."

To Sakura's credit, she doesn't question me. I perform the hand signs –try to remember what I did last time – I just have to imagine all the energy in me converted to sparks and fire, and as I close my eyes I can finally feel and "see" the chakra in my mind as Itachi was continuously trying to get me to –and the jutsu is successful. The flames fly out at the door, licking the edges of the walls but dissipating before it can fly back at us. As fireball jutsus go I can tell it's rather small compared to Itachi's, but it gets the job done and that's what's important.

The door is wooden, but as the outside coating burns to ashes I can see the metal reinforcement. _Shit. _Still, I'm not aiming at the door itself; I'm aiming at the door hinges. Basic fifth grade science: metal expands as it gets hotter. So hopefully, expanding the hinges will make it not fit on the door and make it easier to break down. Hopefully. Honestly, I'm not sure how effective it'll turn out to-

_Pop! _Sparks fly as something on the door breaks. I jump, and the jutsu disperses. "The hell?"

"I think that was a bolt!" Sakura says excitedly.

"How…" I ask, at a loss.

"The door hinge must be made of two different kinds of metal!" Sakura exclaims.

"So?"

"_So, _the heat from the fire makes metal expand, yes? But different kinds of metal will expand at different speeds and temperatures, for example steel at a rate of-"

"Alright, alright, calm down, nerd," I cut her off. "Will it work?"

"Can you do the same thing at the bottom hinge?"

"I can try." I'm not looking forward to it. Performing a high energy jutsu might not take as long, but it's the equivalent of running about a mile in the hot sun. At least, it is for me. If you're interested, you should ask an expert (since I'm hardly the best person to explain intricate things like chakra and ninja arts and its relevance to the human body), but chakra is linked to physical, spiritual, and emotional energy- dependent on, but not the same as, the sum of the parts. For example, if there was something wrong with your bodily energy or the way it processed chakra, it wouldn't work. And if you were unmotivated and weren't committing to the jutsu, it either wouldn't work, or it would drain your physical energy a lot more. It's all about balance. In fact, I'm really surprised that the concept of chakra was picked up by ninjas trying to kill each other instead of monks trying to influence peace, since I think chakra could apply to both concepts equally.

I perform the jutsu again, aiming at the bottom hinge this time. It takes a moment, but something pops again. This time it hits my leg and stings like hell even through my jeans.

I drop the jutsu again, leaning against the wall for a moment as I wait for the floating black spots to disappear.

"Are you-"

"I'm fine, man," I cut her off. "Now let's do this."

She nods. "On three?"

"Sure. Three!" Kind of a dick move? Oh well. We run at the door, hitting it with all our might. The combined force of our weight and momentum is too much for it and the door collapses under us. I don't even time to savor victory before being slowly overwhelmed with horror.

First, the smell. It may be the most unappreciated of the human senses, but it's also the most primal. Because somewhere in the back of our brains, there are levers and triggers that tell us when fear and despair and pain is in the air, so much of it that it's tangible. Noxious and violating. The dungeon -because make no mistake, that's exactly what it's meant to be- is dark and dank and smells of sweat and blood and human waste and bleach and something else I'm not even sure I recognize, or want to.

As I lift my head to take in more of the scene, only one word comes to mind. _Evil. _Not a word I throw around lightly, considering the company I keep and the cause we share, but that's the only word for this. People aren't just tied, with twine and rope, efficiently. They're chained. They're in prisons the size of dog cages, made of iron and steel, with handcuffs and shackles and neck braces designed to do more than hold them still. They're designed to chafe and hurt, to take away their sense of humanity. Someone spent money and effort on creating this place, on making sure their patrons would be as miserable as possible.

And there are many patrons. I can't be sure how big the room is, but it's more like a hall; at least ten yards wide, at least twenty yards long. And every available space, save for room to walk, is filled with these same horrific cages filled with moaning and crying and screaming people, covered in filth, some of their bodies look concave and-

No. I make myself stop before my gag reflex can kick in. Recognizing unpleasantness is a luxury; to an Akatsuki they are only facts. "Keys," I say to Sakura, pushing myself up from the fallen floor. "I can't do the Fireball Jutsu on their cages. We need keys."

She stands up. "That's what that was?" she asks. I suspect she's trying to think about something other than the ugliness before her. "But...the Fireball Jutsu is an extremely advanced Ninja Art. It's supposed to be partial to the Uchiha, and then only a few of them."

I raise an eyebrow. "Yeah, well, I'm Itachi Uchiha's protege. I guess I get to be in on the secret."

She purses her lips. "Keys."

"Yeah." We hear another blast from upstairs, and I think of the gunshots and fighting and death that will follow it. The certainty that this building will soon be entirely destroyed. "We might have to go to the five-oh on this one."

Sakura's eyebrows raise. "Wouldn't the Akatuski hate that?"

I smile grimly. "Of course they would. I'd probably be killed for it. But, well, there's a lot of people down here, huh?"

"It won't come to that," Sakura says harshly. "Come on, maybe some of them know where Oto leave the keys."

"If you can find any sane enough to talk."

_He said son when you grow up_

_Would you be the savior _

_of the broken_

_The beaten and the damned?_

* * *

><p><em>She's going to wear herself out, <em>Itachi thought as the chakra sensor embedded in Mari's ankle began beeping for the fourth -yes, the _fourth_- time within two hours. But what was to be expected of her? Being able to finally achieve the jutsu had to bring out some amount of childish glee. Despite everything he couldn't help but feel a bit smug. Just as he'd expected, a high-stakes scenario is exactly what it took to bring out talents and abilities in his protege.

_Where is she? _was the key question now. Past experience said that she would be looking for him -him, specifically, because he'd made sure that _he's_ the one Mari saw as her leader and mentor, more than Pain would ever be. Itachi had made sure Mari, who refused to give loyalty out of fear, who was too idealistic for her own good, trusted him and looked to him in times like these by going out of his way to seem like the kind of person who would always care and protect, albeit in a cold and distant way, because it was the logical thing to do for one another. It had taken time and effort. This was exactly the time where he was counting on that investment to pay off, and it wasn't working.

_She must have run into something more important than finding the others, _Itachi concluded. It was the only reason she wouldn't be escaping, finding safety and getting the new mission objective before rejoining the fray.

He supposed he would have to trust her judgement. She had the capacity for logic when she chose to use it. He could only hope she would.

All this went through his mind as he walked through Oto's halls. The few thugs not already sucked into the massive brawl outside and on upper levels who saw him all recognized him, and all fled. None of them were worth chasing.

Itachi arrived at his location. A door looking just like all the rest of them. He twisted the knob and entered the room.

"Brother."

Itachi stared.

Sasuke advanced. "After all this time. It's time to pay for what you've done."

Itachi felt he needed to respond. "Your timing is incredibly inconvenient."

His little brother -the boy who hated him, and always would- stared at him, with murder in his eyes, apparently at a loss for words.

"Why, Sasuke? In the snake's den?" Itachi asked coolly. "Don't you have a mission of your own?"

"Why should it matter to you when you're about to die?" His little brother moved his hand slightly.

Itachi reacted.

* * *

><p><em>He said "Will you defeat them<em>

_Your demons_

I want Sasoris' damn tools. And my bat. And my fucking _gun._

I was right: none of them seem to know where the keys might be. Most of them don't even seem to believe we really mean to release them, which begs the question: what kind of shit do Oto go through on a daily basis to make these people truly, deep-down believe that there is absolutely no hope?

_And all the non-believers_

_The plans that they have made?"_

"Do you guys know why they did this?" Sakura asked me. She seems to be employing the same method I am of shutting out reality by thinking about things inconsequential next to the things we see in front of us.

I shrug. "Human trafficking, experiments, sadism. Evil. None of it matters now anyways, since we're getting them out of here."

"Mari-"

"_All _of them." I can feel myself getting hysterical. "All of you! I mean it! You're getting out of here today!"

"Liar," someone mutters. Someone out of the hundreds entirely broken. Wait, no, not entirely. Some of them don't even bother looking up.

I face Sakura again. "Well? Anbu got any information we could actually use?"

"If you mean the precise location of a way to save these people, no, we don't."

"Peachy." I scowl. "I guess I'll have to go interrogate our friend from earlier. Do you have a gun?"

She gives me a Look. "What kind of an idiot do you take me for?"

"Swell. I'll be right back."

"Be careful," she says as I leave.

I laugh.

* * *

><p><em>Because one day I'll leave you<em>

_A phantom to lead you in the summer_

_To join the black parade._

I hum to myself on a way to torture information out of a man. To cause pain effectively, and remorselessly, and relish the opportunity to make him feel even a fraction of what his victims felt. Of course, I don't know exactly what this man in particular did in the past. I don't even know if he himself ever hurt anyone in there, or if he agrees with it. Doesn't matter. Guilty by association.

_That's irony if I ever heard it,_ I think. Considering the events of the past several months, and the people I now stand by. My own black parade.

I find the closet, with the man still in it. He is conscious now, and angry.

"Hey, pal," I greet him. He says something rude, explicit, and completely uninteresting. So I kick him somewhere predictable.

He howls.

"I need the keys," I say calmly when he's quiet.

"Keys to _what?_"

"You know what."

"I don't-" His fingers break easily. He screams some more.

"Yes you do. And if you can't help me, you'd better think of someone who can, and fast."

The whimpering is worse than the screaming.

Finally he says something. "Which keys?"

"The jails in the dungeon. The prisoners."

He shakes his head. "I can't- I never went in there. But! I think maybe- second floor, room 245 is the warden's. I don't know, but they might..."

He is so _young. _My age. Probably didn't even want to join.

"You'd better keep thinking of where they might be," I say. "If I don't find them there, I'll just head back over here."

"Fuck you."

"Yeah, I know." I leave.

* * *

><p>"Did you expect him to stop me?" Itachi asked quietly.<p>

There was no answer but the sound of his younger brother's unconscious, rapid breathing from the corner.

"Orouchimaru. I did not come here to play games."

Orouchimaru chuckled darkly, dropping the pretense of remaining hidden. "You never disappoint...Itachi."

Itachi's Sharingan swirled.

* * *

><p>Sasuke ran through his inner world of nightmares imposed by his older brother, with no hope for escape.<p>

His fear was still nowhere near matched by his hate.

* * *

><p>Naruto ran. He ran through bullets and shouts and fire, and didn't pause to fight.<p>

All hell had broken loose. The Akatsuki had arrived. Which meant Mari was here. His _friends_ were here.

A man yelled. "Hey!" It was an enemy, turning to point his gun at him. Naruto didn't think. The maneuver he'd practiced a thousand times to disarm a person from a medium distance leapt to the forefront of his mind, which issued the order to his limbs without his needing to think about it. The kunai hit the man's hand, making him drop the gun, before Naruto had even known that was what he was aiming to do. He continued running, dimly thinking that the prisoners had to be _somewhere _and he would just have to look everywhere until he found them.

He had to finish the mission before any of his friends were killed.

* * *

><p>Neji smiled to himself. <em>There. The keys.<em>

He'd continued his mission as planned after the communication had been cut. He was meant to find the exact location of the prisoners, and anything else they needed to know, then meet with Sasuke or Sakura while the other two would keep watch and be sure that no Oto members interfered with their prisoner's liberation. However, the plan seemed to have been all but forgotten by his teammates.

Sasuke's chakra signature split off from the corridor he was assigned nearly immediately. Naruto had taken off, running at random through Oto hallways at the sound of the large explosion earlier. Sakura seemed to have stuck to the mission, with the assistance of someone Neji didn't recognize...someone whose chakra was periodically bursting up with the kind of intensity only caused by the use of a ninja art. Fire style, in this case.

But that was a problem for later. The fire-user had left Sakura with Oto's prisoners, running to assault a man who'd been tied up. Neji watched the man's lips move through three layers of walls, showing the fire user was working toward the same goal they were. Perhaps Sakura had been able to convince her to help them? Very clever of her.

Neji also saw the man's smallest of twitches and facial expressions, the little tells that revealed the depths of one's heart.

The man had lied. Not only did he know exactly where the key was, but he carried it a row of keys on him in his back pocket.

If Neji were to make a guess, he would say Sakura and the fire user hadn't even considered that they would be so lucky as to find the man who knew exactly what they needed to know, and therefore gave him the benefit of the doubt. Sloppy of them. But that would wait until later. The mission came first.

* * *

><p>I don't even go looking for the rest of the Akatsuki. Honestly, I don't. I was completely on track to do absolutely nothing except help Sakura finish that noble-ass mission to save all Oto's prisoners. However, as it turns out, reality doesn't pan out with my intentions.<p>

"Mari!"

"Hidan!" I have never been so relieved to see that obnoxious fucker in my life, and if you tell him that I guarantee I will fuck you up.

"Where the fuck were you, you uppity bitch!" he snaps, but with a huge smile on his face. I see that he's wearing his cloak, ripped, with blood on his bare shoulder. Almost definitely his own.

"Kidnapped, you dumb asshat!" I shout back, throwing myself at him for the mother of all brohugs.

"You're so lame!" he says, happily consenting to crush my ribs affectionately. I wonder fleetingly, is this the way it feels to be a younger sister?

"Ha ha, fuck you!"

"Would you two kindly cut the shit?"

"Oh hi Kakuzu," I reply happily as Hidan puts me down. "Nice to see you too."

"Spare me. Do you even realize how compromising of a position you've put us in?"

"Oh, yes, I should've taken strategy into account before I purposely got kidnapped. On purpose. Of my own free will," I snark at him.

Hidan high fives me.

"You have been one of us long enough to be responsible for yourself," Kakuzu continues to reprimand me. "That you're still being rescued is just pathetic."

"Excuse me, who the hell do you think 'rescued' me?" I snap, hands on my hips.

"Bitchass?" Hidan says, like it should be obvious. (By the way, 'bitchass' is Hidan's affectionate nickname for my boyf- uh, Deidara.)

I wave my hand in the air. "Please. I got out myself. But speaking of, where is he? I heard him earlier, but now there's no sign of him."

"The fuck if I know. Anyways, if you got out earlier, what have you been doing?"

Shit. "Well...long story."

"Doesn't matter anyways," Kakuzu cuts across me. "Your new mission is to shut up, follow us, and do as I say. Got it?"

I snort. "Yes, sir." My pride would usually demand I fight him on that, but I'm just thankful not to have to talk about Sakura's mission and my part in it. I follow Kakuzu and Hidan toward the next fight.

* * *

><p>"<em>Duck<em>," Sasori instructed him over the com. Deidara didn't hesitate- he swung to the floor split seconds before a shot was heard and the man he was about to blow up fell to the ground, a bloody hole in his neck.

"Nice sniping, un," Deidara muttered.

"_Don't keep me waiting, Deidara. Keep going."_

Deidara grunted and jumped to his feet, running through the corridors of Oto. He heard gunshots behind him and assumed it was Sasori shooting the Oto who had been behind him.

It filled him with satisfaction. They would all die. All of them.

Deidara couldn't wait until he could plant a bomb in the building's heart and blow it all sky-high, incinerate it, wipe it from the face of the earth in a single instant of glorious art, but that would have to wait. He had to save Mari first.

_You'd better be alive, Tough Girl._

* * *

><p><strong>This amuses me because Mari is literally like light-years ahead of being saved at this point.<br>**

**Again, please review~! The more you reviews, the more I writes!**

**-amy out**


	55. Circumstance

Gaara was silent in his infinitesimal cell, as silent as the rest of the prisoners.

He heard Sakura and the loud girl asking if anyone knew where the keys were, if they knew any means of escape. Gaara saw no reason to draw attention to himself. If they knew he was one of the prisoners, they might make rash decisions in their haste to save a friend of Naruto's. What must it be like to care for someone so much, you wouldn't even allow someone they cared about to be hurt, because of the pain you would feel through them? Friendship, it seemed, was a chain reaction of hurting and helping and selflessness. And pain, but Gaara was no stranger to pain.

And so Gaara would take his chances and allow his would-be rescuers to figure this out without the added incentive of knowing he was among the prisoners. After all, he could be selfless, too.

* * *

><p><em>If Deidara keeps blowing shit up, those prisoners are as good as dead. <em>

That's the thought that gives me absolutely zero patience for Hidan and Kakuzu's hijinks. Annoying even on a good day, they have this habit of making what I call 'revenge detours', where they periodically branch off to beat up or kill some random guy instead of following the mission. And Kakuzu says _I'm _impulsive! If I so much as looked like I was thinking about fighting someone irrelevant to the current mission Itachi would have me doing push-ups for a year.

But anyways, mission objectives aside, I'm becoming less and less excited to have been found by them. Whatever it is they're doing, it seems to be a job of brute force best suited for two immortal, tough-as-shit, violent sociopaths, not for me. "Not that this isn't fun and all," I say irritably after hearing a horrible scream from another room cut off far too instantly for comfort. "But what exactly is the mission?"

"The mission is to fuck shit up!" Hidan says immediately. "Duh!"

"Okay, you're useless, Kakuzu!" I yell.

"Quiet, brat!" he snaps.

"Yeah, yeah. Look, though, what's the specific mission?"

Kakuzu glares at me. "Ours is to make sure no Oto members escape. I can't speak for your team, however."

"Oh yeah," Hidan says casually. "Everyone else thinks you're dead."

"Fantastic," I reply. "So I should probably look for them?"

"That would be acceptable," Kakuzu agrees. "You'd be out of my hair that way."

I resist the urge to stick my tongue out at him. "Well, I don't have any weapons except this knife-"

"That's your problem," Kakuzu says callously.

"Try robbing the corpses," Hidan suggests. "I know at least one of those sorry fucks had a gun."

"Swell," I say to myself. "I'll see you guys in a while I guess?"

"You sure?" Hidan asks.

"Yeah, it's not like I'm helping around here anyway, man."

"Well, don't die. Then I'd have to hunt the fucker down, and it'd be a huge waste of Jashin-damned time."

I suppress a smile. "Duly noted."

I flash a thumbs-up before dashing down the hallway.

As disgusting as the advice is, it makes more sense to get a weapon by any means necessary than not to. So I start retracing our steps, looking for one of them that might have a gun. I pointedly ignore the ones that look either possibly still clinging to life or completely fucked up. I really can't afford to get all emotional at this point. Seeing people get killed never stops being horrible. The only thing you can do is think about it as little as possible, throw up your walls and keep moving; otherwise you'll fall into a sobbing heap the second the action is over.

I finally find a suitable handgun on one of them, a few doors back. It's got flecks of blood on it, but it'll do. I click the safety on and open the chamber, checking to see if it's loaded-

Something clicks.

I dash toward the side of the room, out of the line of fire from the hallway, the only place seeming like it would offer cover. For a split second I think I'm too jumpy and have overreacted, but then there's shots and shit, _shit! _

"You sons of bitches!" someone yells. A man, probably young, sounds hysterical. More shots, _that makes five _I realize I'm counting without even knowing I am, dear God please let this gun be loaded-

I hear a click, the man swears. "I'll still kill you!" He's out? Really?

I swing out from behind the corner, aiming, squeezing the trigger- and nothing happens.

With a bellow of rage the Oto man launches himself toward me. I don't have time to dodge, rolling with the momentum until I can escape. He grabs my foot and drags, I kick him in the nose and stand up, kicking him in the face, _stay down._

He doesn't, rolling away and standing up before running back at me. Guns useless and forgotten, knife out of reach in the back of my pants, I have to fight him hand to hand. He's way too big and I can't overpower him – my only real shot is to move fast, strategically, avoid being incapacitated for long enough to put him out, and I dash around, punching and kicking and twisting and squirming to escape whenever he gets a good grip on me. He's good, but so am I, and I wonder if he's been trained in the ninja arts and whether I should try to retreat- shit, I might really be in trouble here-

Ha! Finally, his guard drops, I kick him in between the legs and he falls back, groaning, looking like it's very hard for him not to fall to his knees. I grab the knife out from my pants-

"You're dead, kid," he rasps. "You stupid idiot, you have no idea what you've done!"

I sneer. "What? Beat you?"

"You've fucked yourselves. You and your red-cloud buddies," he spits. I'm going to ignore him but then –"You think we're going to keep protecting you from Danzo now?"

That stops me. "_Protecting _us?" I ask incredulously. "No one _protects _us!"

He laughs, hysterically. "You don't even know! They don't even tell you!"

I should ignore him, should press my advantage and just keep attacking, but I can't, I'm too curious. "Tell us what?"

He grins maliciously. "The police. You never wondered why they never investigated? We pay them off."

I don't know whether to believe him or not. I just stare.

"What? Your _leader _never told you?"

My brain is whirring, because no, he wouldn't, would he? Just make all your soldiers hate the enemy blindly, so they'll fight to the true best of their ability, and don't tell them about the deals being made in silence meanwhile. Why should Pain have told us about whatever dealings he has with Oto, or Danzo, or Anbu, or any of them? After all that hardly serves to further the _greater good._

Shit, why did I stop? He was just distracting me and he's attacking me again, grabbing my arm holding the knife and holding it away while we fight in close quarters, shit, _shit-_

"Mari!" I don't think I've ever heard anyone so surprised.

"Hey, Naruto," I answer casually, not looking at him. "Little help here, man?" I'm not sure how much longer I can keep this up. This guy is tough and I am _tired._

"Uh..." Naruto, for once, doesn't waste time with stupid questions. He jumps in between me and the Oto member I couldn't seem to get a hold on (I was kind of thinking he might go for a surprise attack, but you know Naruto) and fights. I step back, pulling the knife out of my belt, and watch Naruto's moves critically. I have to say, I'm impressed. It's obvious he's been trained in the ninja arts, probably more extensively than I have; but then, Anbu probably has a lot more resources, and besides the way Kiba told it it sounded like they'd been training for at least twice as long as me. But I digress.

Naruto finally gets an upper hand on the guy -maybe a punch or a kick, I don't remember, he's so _fast_- and starts to perform hand signs.

"No!" I shout, leaping back into the fray. The man is still doubled over slightly, but manages to reach his hands up in an idle attempt to stop my attack.

My knife slices right through his outstretched hand. Blood spurts onto the tile.

I cut off his screams with a quick slash. "You ought to save your energy," I offer to Naruto as explanation.

Naruto's eyes look as wide as saucers. "Mari, you- you just, I mean-"

I smirk. "Surprised?"

"I knew you were in the Akatsuki, but I didn't know you…" he trails off, looking somewhat abashed.

"They don't keep me around for my good looks, you know." He still looks perturbed, but seems to decide to let it go for now. "Anyways, long time no see, we meet again, yadda yadda. I was wondering, you on board on this whole destroy-Oto thing?"

Naruto looks around shiftily. "I'm not really supposed to tell anyone about the mission…"

"Did I say anything about a mission?"

"Damn it!"

I hold my laughter in. "You really suck at being sneaky, Naruto. But anyways, I'm in."

"You are? But I thought you were with the Akatsuki."

"So? We want the Oto disbanded and discharged as much as you guys do."

"Well said," Itachi adds. Wait, _Itachi? _

I look behind me to see he is, indeed, right here in this room. When the hell…oh who knows, it's Itachi after all. "Thanks a lot for the help, man," I gripe.

Itachi stares back at me unapologetically. "You seemed to have it under control…" He glances at Naruto, who's standing rigidly at the other end of the room. "…between the two of you." He said it in a very casual way, but it carries tons of hidden meanings. _Who do you think authorized you to team up with another group? You do know they're our enemies, too, right? How long do you think you can get away with not killing him? You do know that if anyone in this boy's team goes against our objectives, you'll have Pain to answer to. Are you sure you want to take this risk_?

I nod yes defiantly. "We certainly do. Between the two of us, the guy didn't really stand a chance, did he?" _Why shouldn't I team up with him? He's my friend, I trust him, and it's not like he even has it in him to betray me –unlike a lot of my own team, come to think of it!- so why not use him? You're the one who always says to look at things logically and what the hell is logical about not taking help when you need it? Besides our two groups have almost identical objectives, except for saving the prisoners, and if we're helping the greater good we can't just ignore that can we?_

He stares at me for a moment. "Then I trust your judgment." I blink. _You do? _Coming from Itachi, that's high praise. "On your own head be it."

Ah, there we go, back to normal. "Hidan told me you were fighting Orouchimaru…"

Itachi looks almost amused. "There are ways of being in more than one place at once."

"What the fucking hell is that supposed to mean?" I don't think there will ever be anyone as frustrating as this guy when it comes to communication. I mean for fuck's sake, just answer yes or no, will you?

Itachi ignores my confusion, as always. "I'm here to debrief you on vital information to the mission. I would ask that the boy leave, but since you seem to be partnering with him temporarily, I'll allow it."

I forget my irritation and nod seriously. Itachi never kids around really, but there's a difference between being serious and Being Motherfucking Serious. The latter is the case right now.

"The full might of the Akatsuki has infiltrated this building, each with a specific purpose. Your mission is to aid any you may come across, gather information if you can, and make sure none of the pivotal Oto members leave this building. You ought to know who they are by now."

Yes, I do. Orouchimaru, Kabuto, the Sound Five. Their faces are burned indelibly into my mind; how could I _not _know?

"Good. Additionally," Itachi pauses for the slightest -the _slightest- _of moments, but long enough for me to see the red in his eyes spin. I close my eyes instinctively for a second, then feel like an idiot because for one as soon as you see red it's over, and for another why would Itachi attack me here?

I open my eyes. "What was that?"

"A simple genjutsu for the benefit of your friend," Itachi answers, nodding his head slightly toward him. "He will only have the impression of me telling you information he already knows."

I look over at Naruto to see that it's true: he has absolutely no reaction to anything we say. "Why?"

"Because your true mission is none of Anbu's concern."

"Wait, you _know _about Anbu?" I ask incredulously.

Itachi gives me a disparaging look. "You speak like you've known of them prior to this."

Shit fuck. "Sakura explained some of it to me a minute ago." Not a lie, which helps because no matter how good you are a bald-faced lie makes your pupils and sweat and all sorts of other factors will act up about five times more than a lie of omission. And at this point, my life and potentially several others are on the line.

Itachi stares at me for just long enough that I'm convinced he _knows, _before he goes on. "Very well. First of all, congratulations on mastering the Fireball Jutsu."

"How did you know..."

"Chakra sensors in your shoes."

"Oh."

"However, didn't I give you strict instructions not to try and perform it in the field without my supervision?"

I scowl. "Yeah, you're right, I should've just sat there and died rather than disobey. My bad."

He so wants to smile. I can tell. "Two hundred push-ups when we return to the base."

My arms hurt already. "You got it. But, uh, about Anbu-"

"They aren't your concern right now."

"Of course they are!" I retort. "A lot of my friends are in it, and if I'm going to be expected to fight them, I want to know why!" Pain keeping things from us is one thing, but Itachi could at least tell me about the well being of my close friends! For fuck's sake, they deserve my loyalty more than the Akatsuki does, it's only circumstance that makes me look at things the way I do!

Itachi gives me a sharp look. "We will discuss it later."

I bite my lip. "Fine."

"But I digress. Your mission is to secure Oto's prisoners."

At first I'm relieved -that's what I wanted to do anyways- and then I really hear him. _Secure _the prisoners. 'Secure' is what we say about locations we want to be occupying, things we want to own...people we want to keep out of someone else's hands, to be in ours instead.

They want me to find the prisoners, but not release them. They want me to capture the prisoners, or presumably whichever ones I think would be the best for our means, and deliver them to Pain, no questions asked.

The idea makes me sick to my stomach. But I can't let it show. Instead I just nod. "Ten-fore."

Itachi nods in approval. "As for the boy..." he glances swiftly, coldly, toward Naruto. "He will have to wait for another time."

"Wait," I interrupt. "What do you mean-"

"I'm going to release the genjutsu now," Itachi interrupts me. "And you need to act like all I've told you is about Oto's experiments, and to get the prisoners out of the building. Understood?"

His tone leaves no room for argument. "Understood."

He nods, then makes a hand sign. The red in his eyes disappears. "Is that understood?" he asks again.

"Yes." You'd think he could've thought of something less confusing to say to fool Naruto. I nearly blew it just now thinking he hadn't heard me the first time. "Um- shouldn't we be going, though?"

"Indeed."

I frown. "What did you mean, be in more than one place at once, man?" I ask, still fuzzy on how he's here when he should be fighting Orouchimaru.

Itachi, for the first time that day, sports a ghost of a smirk, makes one last hand sign, and -holy fucking shit- vanishes in a puff of smoke.

"What the _hell?" _I ask no one in exasperation.

Naruto frowns. "Shadow Clone Technique. It's very illegal. I thought I was the only one who knew it! What's _with _that guy?"

I shrug. "He's very strong. He's my teacher, you know," I add, purely to brag.

Naruto looks at me, wide-eyed. "He knows about these bastards and their experiments."

"Uh, yeah, we've known about them for a while."

"And..._you_ didn't tell him?" Naruto asks, looking at me "slyly", like he's testing me. (Man, he really is terrible at being covert.)

"Of course not!" I assure him, like it's obvious, like I haven't risked my life for the sake of keeping his secrets.

He grins, so happily and sincerely I feel my stomach roiling in guilt. "I knew I could trust you, Mari-chan!"

"Eheheh. Yeah."

"Really, I was worried because you were in the Akatsuki you might be losing your morals, but now I can see I had nothing to worry about!" he declares. "You're a good friend."

Oh for fuck's sake, just shoot me why don't you? "Yeah, well, you too. Anyways, don't we have prisoners to liberate?"

* * *

><p>Itachi's clone dissipated across the building, restoring all the clone's memories to Itachi himself. He filed the entire conversation with his student for later contemplation. At the moment, he was busy.<p>

"You never had a chance, Orouchimaru," Pain declared from his own corner, distracting their enemy. "There is room for only one god in this city."

Orouchimaru laughed. "_God? _Don't you think that's a bit of an exaggeration, my old colleague?"

Pain stared for a moment. Then he slowly raised his arms.

Orouchimaru stood, knees bent, at the ready.

Pain flexed his hands and Orouchimaru flew back, towards the wall.

Pain smirked. "No."


	56. Not A Sheep

**Ta-fucking-da, everyone. **

* * *

><p>Sakura paced. She knew it was useless, pointless just to sit around helplessly in a room full of abused, sick, unwell people, but what else could she do? She was a strategist, a brain, not someone who could destroy steel bars with brute force. Or with illegal, highly dangerous ninja arts.<p>

Speaking of which, _Fireball Jutsu? _Mari _knew _it? She could practice it so easily, three times in one day to Sakura's count!

She replayed the moment in her mind: "Itachi's protege", Mari had said, with a kind of grudging acceptance, grim humor, and maybe just a little undertone of pride. How on Earth did that happen? Mari was always hotheaded, angry, maybe a bit more prone to violence than Sakura would like, but that Itachi person was _evil. _He had tortured Sasuke, brought about the death of his entire family. How could Mari talk so casually about being in _his _clutches?

From her knowledge (in other words, gossip she'd heard around school as her infamy grew and small details Mari had let slip on occasion), Mari had been jumped and later forced into becoming a member, maybe even brainwashed into being convinced to fight for them. Not because of her innate skill, people said, but because the Akatsuki wanted to have their own little pet, like a toy, someone to mold into their own evil image.

Some people said even worse than that.

She felt for Mari. She truly did. But after seeing the person Mari had become...Hardship or not, Sakura wasn't sure if she could approve. Mari was violent. Not just in the somewhat-playful, irritable way Sakura remembered, either, but in a much darker way. Mari struck out to kill, or at least seriously injure, and showed no signs of remorse.

Then again, it had worked, hadn't it? Without Mari, Sakura doubted she would have gotten this far, seeing as how the plan had gone to absolute shit since the receivers went out. And it's not like Mari was acting completely without conscience. After all, she was helping free the prisoners, wasn't she?

The prisoners! Sakura could smack herself. This was no time, no time at all, to be sitting around idly thinking about things like that. Moral dilemmas came _after _the mission. And, after Mari having been gone for this long, Sakura was forced to assume the worst: she wasn't coming back, and freeing the prisoners was her job alone once again. With all her team members gone, she would have to improvise. (Speaking of which, was Naruto okay? And where on Earth was Sasuke? She hadn't heard a single thing about him since they had been released into the mission.) What to do, what to do...

The door suddenly slammed open.

Sakura spun around, jumping out of the line of sight and crouching down faster than the eye could see, heart pounding. _It's one of the Oto, shit, they'll kill me, what do I do? _

"The door's been burnt," someone said. A familiar someone. Could it be...?

"Someone seems to have broken in," responded a cold, flat voice Sakura knew all too well. Neji!

She was so relieved, she jumped up to greet them immediately. "Hey!"

If situations weren't so dire, Sakura might have laughed at how scared-shitless they were at that. As it is, she soon came to realize that what she had done was stupid. She came very close to being shot.

"Holy mother of fuck!" Kankurou shouted.

Temari just kind of made a sort of frightened strangling sound.

Neji was the first to recover. "Sakura," he deadpanned. "This is a pleasant surprise."

"When did you guys get here?" she asked, confused. Neji was supposed to be doing a very different mission. Temari and Kankurou? They weren't even in Anbu!

"The bastards took Gaara," Temari growled in response, seeing it was Sakura. "We came to get him."

"Good. It's been altogether too long of a wait."

Sakura thought her mouth must have hit the ground in _China. _How the _hell _long had Gaara been sitting there, just watching?

Kankurou and Temari rushed off across the room toward the cage where their little brother was located. "Are you alright, Gaara?" Kankurou asked, worried.

"I am," Gaara rasped in reply. "I was wondering, do any of you have a plan for evacuating these people?"

There was a long, stony silence.

"I think I may," Neji finally said, quietly.

Sakura was surprised. "How?"

Neji smirked and held up a key.

Sakura stared at him. This was entirely the wrong time to develop a sense of humor.

Kankurou slapped him on the back. "Well, what are you waiting for?" he asked. "Get to work!"

* * *

><p>In an upstairs room, lit by dim light and with soft music playing as a courtesy to Oto's tradition, a red light begins blinking.<p>

Kabuto stared at it. Unbelievable. The Akatsuki were scattered fighting the remains of Oto's forces. The other children were useless. Who could possibly have found a way to infiltrate the prisoner's quarters.

Well, this wasn't going to work. No, no, no. Those prisoners were Oto's only remaining bargaining tool with Danzo's Roots organization. Without them, why would Danzo allow their soldiers to work for him? How would their forces join, re-organize, this time with Orouchimaru at its head, with all the resources of a very rich man with Danzo's connections, and the discipline of ninja arts?

It seemed Kabuto would have to be making a visit before he assisted Orouchimaru.

* * *

><p>Naruto and I race through the halls, both of us silently hoping we don't run into any more enemies. I feel like kind of a moron because I've forgotten exactly how I got up here from the dungeon, and exactly how to get back down, but for now I'm just kind of haphazardly leading Naruto around, muttering lamely about it being "in the basement". But really, can you blame me? I've got a lot of stuff on my mind.<p>

_How can I possibly go along with this? _That's all I can think. I saw those prisoners, how they'd been abused and mistreated. They're being kept in _dog_ cages, for fuck's sake. Every single last one of them is probably just an innocent person who had the misfortune to live within the bounds of Oto. It was the Akatsuki's job to protect people like them, and we failed. And now, Pain wants me to capture a handful of them –whichever ones I think Sasori or Kakuzu will have the most "interesting" time dissecting or studying? I already know they're not above it, especially not in a case like this. From Pain's utilitarian point of view, these people are broken. Wasted. Unfit for labor or society. So why not just take a couple and use them, for study or for leverage or for whatever fucked up reason he could be thinking of?

This is a time when I greatly regret my past decisions. I chose to stay as far away from Akatsuki's inner workings and policies as possible, because I didn't like being a part of it at all. I let Konan's reassurances and the others' condescension keep me from believing that Akatsuki needed to be reformed, or that I could have any say in how they did things. Stupid, stupid and careless and childish, all of it, and now I was paying the price.

"Mari? Are you listening?" Naruto asks.

"No," I reply honestly, too distracted to be polite. "What were you saying?"

"I was asking how much you…well, how much the Akatsuki knows about pseudo-jinchuuriki," he finishes lamely.

I take a deep breath. I probably should make something up to make us seem more knowledgeable than we are, then kind of lead Naruto into revealing something about them that he thinks I already know…but I'm really not in the mood. "They could know everything, or nothing at all," I say straight-facedly. "They don't tell me everything, man."

Naruto nods.

But still…"I am curious, though," I admit. "It sounds to me like these are just a bunch of really unlucky kids in a government conspiracy. What's so special about them? Especially if they're, well, fakes?"

Naruto winces. "I'm not sure if I should be telling you any of this."

I feel a burst of irritation. "Naruto, the world is falling down around us. Do you really think confidentiality is the number one thing right now?

He seems to have a short struggle with himself, before relenting. "Okay. Look, there are a lot of rumors about pseudo-jinchuuriki , like that they're immortal or are all born ninjas. They aren't true. The only reason it's a secret is because, well, the government wouldn't want people to know they were doing that to kids without homes, would they?"

"No, they wouldn't." I will never cease to be disgusted with the things people in power get away with, just because of their privilege.

"Right. The thing is, though, Tsunade told us that past records showed there was scientific evidence that pseudo-jinchuurikis could be used to awaken the full power of the Tailed Beasts, if they were to be brought to the sealing place of the demons at exactly the right time, yadda yadda, so on and so on." Naruto grins mischievously. "I've never worried too much about it, but I guess some people do, dattebayo."

My brain must be going a million miles a second. Holy _shit. _This isn't just your run-of-the-mill government conspiracy. This is your holy-shit-the-world-is-at-stake-here kind of conspiracy. I've read about the Tailed Beasts, in recent or in old history books, online and in scribbled graffiti rumors from people like us –people who haven't forgotten the ninja ways, people who even might think we should bring them back. They all disagree on some details, but they also all agree on one in particular: they are very powerful and, in the hands of the wrong people, would contain the power to completely dominate the world.

There is not one drop of doubt in me that Pain is exactly 'the wrong people'.

And if Oto has been capturing those people, and now Pain wants me to capture their prisoners…

Shit.

I should've guessed.

I was wrong earlier; I was being too naive. Pain doesn't want the prisoners for callous reasons, because they're wasted anyways, what harm could it do, greater good remember? He wants them because he is betting on me to have figured this all out, figured out that the prisoners he really wants are the jinchuuriki, that maybe that's the whole point of the mission in the first place. And even if I didn't, wouldn't he be able to get information about them from the other prisoners? After all, didn't he already try to kidnap Gaara, but for some reason the plan went wrong –some other teenagers found out about it, and it would've been impractical to keep going at the time.

The goal is the jinchuuriki. Maybe it has been for a very long time, and I've just been too wrapped up in my own stupid, _stupid _problems to see that.

"So…Oto wants to take over the world?" I ask Naruto, trying to keep up the pretense of a normal (well, relatively) conversation.

"More or less. I mean, that's what we think. We don't know for sure. We –the pseudo-jinchuuriki, I mean- also tend to have sort of unusual chakra, so we've been hoping that maybe Oto was targeting us for that reason…" Naruto trails off.

I want to bite my lip, but it's a bad idea while running. Even despite all of these nerve-wracking, doom-filled revelations, I'm still worried about something a little closer to home.

I'm worried about my boys. I mean, it's completely illogical, but even though I know they're evil I can't stop thinking to myself: _They're my friends, and you protect your friends. Always. That is non-negotiable. _Deidara in particular, because for one thing he's not as good at hand-to-hand combat as the rest of them are; he's more of a long-range, shooting and throwing explosives kind of guy. In fact, when it comes to fistfighting we are damn near equals now; I only fall short because of a lack of brute strength. At the moment I assume he's been doing alright, judging on the small booming sounds I keep hearing every couple of minutes, but you never can tell if he's just kind of getting into the fight and throwing bombs around without heed for his own skin in excitement, or if he's getting desperate and having a sort of if-I'm-going-down-so-are-you moment. I've seen it happen. The boy is a lunatic (It's kind of a "we all know he's going to end up blowing himself up one of these days but really what can any of us do about it anyways" thing).

And what about Joseph, and Kai? And…and Mom? How do I _know _they're safe? There could be any number of things that could go wrong. That worry isn't as urgent as the other ones, but it's still there, and it'll stay there until I can see them all again.

Me and Naruto have slowed to a brisk walk. The amount of Oto members (well, _living _Oto members) present is eerie and disturbing, especially with us no longer talking. The only sounds are our footsteps echoing through the hallways and, even worse, a low sort of soft, classical music you can only hear when it's this quiet. I guess it's part of their whole 'sound' thing. Normally I would say it's cheesy and they're trying too hard, but I have to admit it's kind of creepy. My brain keeps thinking, _why am I listening to this beautiful Beethoven shit when there are people dying a few hundred yards away? _

"Naruto," I say suddenly, with the kind of vulnerable voice I didn't think I even had anymore. Just for a minute, I need to stop being this reluctant Akatsuki member trying to juggle morality and her loyalty to some of the most dangerous people in the world; I need to stop trying to hold it all together and appear untouchable. I need advice, and I need a friend, one without ulterior motives.

"Yeah?" he responds, so easily.

"I'm scared," I admit, not looking at him. "Not because we're getting shot at or whatever. It's just there's all this crazy, evil shit going on, and it's like nothing we do could fix it. It's…overwhelming."

Naruto stops walking completely, throwing me off slightly. I stumble a bit when I stop. "What...?"

Naruto turns me toward him, a hand on my shoulder. "Mari," he says seriously, "don't worry so much."

I look at him in utter confusion.

"We all know there's evil in the world, right? Well, that's why people like us are here. It's our job to fight it," he says simply. "That's all there is to it. I don't believe you're helpless, and you shouldn't either. I promise we'll find a way to fix this, dattebayo!"

It takes a moment, but before long the biggest genuine smile I've had in a while makes its way to my lips. "How?"

"Don't know yet!" he responds happily. "But you can bring that promise to the bank, 'cause I never go back on my word! Okay?"

I grin, feeling altogether too warm and mushy inside. "Okay."

We go back to running.

* * *

><p>Kisame shrugged off Oto kids with a simple swing of Samehada, barely glancing in their direction. Amateurs. He had bigger fish to fry. His face was lit up in a mischievous grin as he finally caught a glimpse of the two he needed to fight.<p>

"Oh, Jirobooo!" he called out, singsonging. "Kidomaruuu! I can see you, you know!"

He took off after them.

* * *

><p>"You will not destroy Orochimaru-sama's ambition," the bone boy said, using that fantastic kekkei genkai ability of his to force his bones out of his arms, holding them like samurai swords.<p>

Sasori surveyed them with interest, although he let little of it show on his face. "What an interesting body you have. Surely you wouldn't mind contributing it to science, would you?"

"I would...for Orochimaru-sama." The boy scowled. "But never to the likes of you."

Sasori retrieved his own weapon, a blade-shooting device of his own making. "Oh, shut up, Kimimaro."

* * *

><p>BOOM!<p>

Debris and flying body parts filled the air along with screams of fear and rage, someone was laughing, it was probably him.

"Huh? Want some more, you fucking bastards, hm?!" he screeched, dodging flying knives and ninja stars from Oto's more capable members, and moving swiftly out of the way of the poor aim of the others. "Come and get it, un!"

Deidara knew the rest of the Akatsuki had been trying their utmost to corral these sorry fucks toward Deidara. He was the best at widespread destruction, the elimination of several enemies at once, whereas the rest of them with their 'specialized skills' were needed to fight the more trained people, the sound Five, Orouchimaru, Kabuto, whoever. Deidara supposed he should be offended that they gave him the supposedly easy job. But who cared!

This was _fun._

The only problem was, how was he to know when all of his team had left the building? He couldn't rig the final firework show if his teammates were still hanging around inside. With their radio receivers incapacitated, he had no way of knowing...

Well, he would cross that bridge when he got to it. "KATSU!"

* * *

><p>BOOM!<p>

I wince. _Oh fuck dammit, Dei. _

Naruto practically jumps a mile. "What the hell was that!"

I grimace. "My ridiculous fucking boyfriend."

"You mean that crazy blond guy?!" Naruto asks incredulously.

I nod. "If he doesn't stop blowing shit up, the entire fucking place is going to come down on top of us. Honestly I'm surprised he's restrained himself this long, man."

Naruto looks nervous. "I guess we should hurry up, then."

"Guess so, man. Ah, here we are!" Finally, I recognize this place! I run down the hallway, toward the door I had broken down via fire on the hinges, Naruto following right behind me-

"Whoa!" I get barely a second's notice when I see a dark figure moving through the shadows of the room, too big for Sakura's build (something the back of my mind recognizes before I do). I crouch and roll with momentum, instinctively expecting shots fired.

Naruto, however. "So this is the place?" he asks, obliviously.

I frantically motion for him to _get down _and _shut up. _

He does not. "Hey, Sakura!" he says, looking in through the door opening. "Been a while, huh!"

I hear a relieved male sigh. "Oh, Naruto, it's just you," he says. (I could swear I've heard that voice before...) "I'm on guard in case Oto members show up."

"Hey, Mari's here with me!" Naruto adds.

Feeling sheepish, I stand up and move into view, waving a little abashedly. "Hey guys," I say lamely. "Here I am, coming to your rescue."

"Here _we _are!" Naruto corrects, throwing an arm around my shoulders.

Sakura makes an irritated noise. "It's about time!" And before I can even _move, _she's jumped us, pulling the both of us into a big group hug. In the room is also Temari, Kankuro, and Gaara, all of whom looking very serious and angry. Especially Gaara. With a sinking feeling, I see the dirt and grime that's been on him, and can tell that he was one of the prisoners.

Naruto hugs her back.

I push them away. "Are you guys serious? This isn't the time, you know!"

Naruto laughs, backing out of the hug. "You're too serious, Mari. Been hanging out with that scary dark-haired guy too much, dattebayo!"

I shudder. "If you're suggesting that I'm starting to take on his personality traits, I am going to have to murder you, man."

Naruto laughs.

"Well, come _on, _you guys!" Temari cuts across. "These guys aren't going to free themselves!"

I see that, sure enough, there's a fair amount of recently-freed prisoners, pacing about listlessly. "How did you guys manage it?"

"Neji found the key."

"Oh." Here it is, moment of truth. I can't put off this decision any longer. I have to decide whether to help or not, as they talk a little more about how things happened, what they're planning to do, how to do it.

It would be relatively easy, wouldn't it? Just organize things so that the prisoners I know they'll want leave last, or in the middle, and lead them to wherever it is the rest of the Akatsuki are. These people have been through too much to really put up much of a fight, and even if they did, I could just silence them with ease. Not so hard. At least, not in theory.

But in reality? I'm not sure if I can do it. I don't know if I can, how horrible would I feel-

I feel like slapping myself. I, I, I. I'm so selfish. Shouldn't I be thinking about these people? Or even the world in general? I have no idea what the consequences could be if Pain gets his hands on the pseudo-jinchuriki. Maybe the rumors are right. Maybe they're wrong. Either way, can I really take that risk?

I remember what I'd said to my mom: _"All I need to know is that we're doing good. Or, at least, I am. I'm not a sheep, Mom."_

But do I? Are we? How can I say that, how can I excuse going along with something like this, just because it's the easiest thing?

_Mom smiles slightly. "I hope you remember that, Mari, because you need to know where you stand or you'll lose yourself. The world has a way of eroding your morals until before you know it, you don't recognize yourself anymore...I want so much more than that for you."_

Oh, God, what do I do? What do I...

And for the first time in way too long, I pray.

The answer doesn't come long after that.

Of _course _I'm not going to do that! I feel myself relax with the realization that I never would have. _I should remember that my decisions are still my own. No one controls me, and they never will, no matter how bad-ass or dangerous they think they are. Screw my orders. These people deserve freedom. __  
><em>

Well, it's one thing to make a decision, and another thing entirely to go through with it.

"Mari?"

"What?"

"What can you tell us about the Akatsuki?" Kankuro asks, his eyes boring into me.

"Nothing," I say immediately, a reflex. Then I take a deep breath, steeling myself. Trust has always been a difficult thing for me. Given the choice, I'd prefer to trust people who have an ironclad reason to protect me -in this case, the Akatsuki. But this isn't just about me anymore. "Except...my orders were to secure the prisoners. Capture them, not free them. Especially the pseudo-jinchuriki." I weigh their reactions.

Neji only stares at me. Sakura looks troubled, lips pressed down in a thin line. Kankuro and Temari take a defensive step in front of Gaara, who's been quiet this whole time. Gaara narrows his eyes at me.

Naruto, though. He looks betrayed. "But - I heard him tell you to free them!"

"It was a genjutsu, Naruto," I explain. "An illusion, so you wouldn't know what he really wanted me to do."

"So..." He looks torn. "We have to fight you?"

"Of course not!" I snap. "If I were planning on following those orders, do you think I would _tell _you about it? For fuck's sake, Naruto-kun." (Ugh, don't look at me like that. The honorific kind of just slipped out.)

"You're siding with us?" Sakura asks, uncertain.

I nod.

Naruto whoops. "I knew it, dattebayo!"

"Shut up," I tell him.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Temari interrupts, making a 'T' with her hands. "Time-out. So we're just supposed to take your word for it? This is our _brother _we're talking about."

"Yeah," Kankuro chimes in. "Why should we trust you?"

The irony hurts. I glare. "You don't understand. If _any _of the Akatsuki find out about this, they'll kill me. I'm putting my life in your hands."

Gaara's brother is still clearly unimpressed. "That doesn't prove a thing. You still might be lying."

"She's not," Neji interjects. I'd completely forgotten about him. I look over and get a shock: his pale eyes intense, a grotesque system of veins popping up around his eyes. "Heart rate hasn't accelerated, body temperature normal. Even her chakra is steady. She's showing no signs of deception."

I get the urge to shudder, which I repress, immediately feeling ridiculous. Itachi has used his Sharingan to examine the chakra flow in my mind itself, and now I'm getting creeped out from this guy? "Bloodline trait, huh?"

Neji nods. "Byakugan." He makes a handsign and his eyes go back to normal.

"So you're trustworthy after all," Gaara speaks up.

"Glad to hear it!" Temari chimes in, grinning.

"Yeah, whatever. We really don't have time for all this,"I cut across them. "Remember the they-will-kill-my-ass thing?" Sooner or later one of them will come looking for me. We have to hurry.

"My, my. How touching." My heart stops. "What a shame it's far too later for that."

Dread grips my heart and gut, fingers of ice.

"Hey, what's the big idea!" Naruto shouts, oblivious.

He laughs and steps out of the shadows.

"Kabuto," I hiss accusingly.

He smiles widely. "Mari Sui...you troublesome, idiot girl. Betraying your strongest allies for idealistic sentiment. You'll die for that, you know.

* * *

><p><strong>Sasori's line in this chapter is one of my favorite things ever. <strong>

**Please review!1!one! (No, but seriously, do.)**

**-amy out**


	57. No Light

**Hey everyone, this chapter is Kind of a Big Deal. You've been warned. Also, you can thank my sisterfriend Miya for giving me the inspiration to get back to work on this. I let slip a certain occurrence that would be happening in the near future and her reaction was rather encouraging (if admittedly for a variety of rather nefarious reasons). So yeah, thanks miya. And as for everyone else, well, just try and enjoy the ride!  
><strong>

**Lyrics from No Light, No Light by Florence and The Machine.**

* * *

><p><em>I've heard there are troubles of more than one kind,Some come from the front and some come from behind<br>But I've got a big bat, I'm all ready you see_

_Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!_  
><em>-Dr. Suess at some point<em>

* * *

><p><em>You are the hole in my head<em>  
><em> You are the space in my bed<em>  
><em> You are the silence in between <em>  
><em> What I thought and what I said<em>

* * *

><p>You guys probably have this mistaken impression of me by now, some kind of strong, fearless chick who runs into dangerous situations without a second thought, who gets frightened only as a formality. I'm sorry to have given you such a horribly wrong idea. In fact, I'm sorry for just about everything ever because right now part of me is a hundred percent positive that I'm about to die in retribution for every bad thing I've ever done.<p>

_You are the night time fear, you are the morning when it's clear_

_When it's over, you will start, you're my head, you're my heart_

Everyone is standing still, frozen, staring at Kabuto, and it's like the entire world is on pause. Nothing exists or ever has or ever will except this dungeon, this man, and the constant, insistent fear of death. He is going to kill me. I am going to die.

"Kankurou and Temari, guard Sakura and Naruto. You two, evacuate the prisoners," Neji orders. "There is a door-"

Kabuto lunges toward them, probably trying to stop them, but he has to pass me and on reflex I draw my knife and swipe in his path. It doesn't come close to him, but he has to slow down and change directions, bringing him within range on Neji.

What happens next is too fast for me to follow, but it ends with Neji standing at a ready stance, Byakugan veins activated and fingers poised in the style of what Itachi taught me is called "delicate" attacks, and Kabuto backing away, watching him warily.

Kabuto smirks at him. "I see you can play."

Neji grunts the affirmative.

Kabuto glances at me, eyes narrowed. "You, on the other hand…"

I swallow my fear the best I can and raise my knife. "Try me."

_No light, no light in your bright blue eyes_

_I never knew daylight could be so violent_

* * *

><p>Tsunade didn't know what to think.<p>

After hours of worrying about the fate of her underage team and the goings-on at the Oto headquarters, she finally got a clue as to how they'd been faring.

However, this clue happened to be in the form of droves after droves of malnourished and abused looking people being dropped mysteriously at the foot of Leaf General Hospital, with no word except a hastily written note in the hands of one of the first to show up: 'Oto did this'.

As soon as the people started showing up, all misgivings and contemplations on the well-being of her team had to stop, at least, for the most part. The hospital went into maximum overdrive. There were emergency checks to carry out, wounds to clean, IVs to set up, along with a whole slew of other things necessary to nurse these people back to health. It was obvious some of them had been tortured, but as far as Tsunade had seen so far, not tortured in the traditional sense- torture to cause pain.

Blood samples showed some had been injected with harmful chemicals, some had been operated on and left without stitches, some seem to have had body parts removed only to be replaced with ill-fitting, unapproved prosthetics. It was clear to her: they were victims of medical experiments. Their suffering wasn't caused by malice or sadism, but pure, unbridled indifference.

It made her sick. But there was no time for anger. She had work to do.

* * *

><p>Kabuto looks away from us for a moment, glancing toward what I assume is the sight of Naruto, Sakura, Kankurou, Temari, and Gaara releasing prisoners, and that's all that Neji needs, lunging for Kabuto, who dodges and suddenly they're exchanging blows at the ninja level, I can tell by watching that Neji is fighting with a precision and finesse I won't be able to assist with so I stand ready to back Neji up if need be. I just have to wait for an opening when Kabuto is distracted, and slip my knife into his throat, and until then just stay the hell out of Neji's way.<p>

Kabuto swings his leg out toward Neji and although Neji moves, Kabuto's leg clips him and I know what will happen before Neji even starts to fall. In the same instant as Neji unconsciously puts his arm out to steady himself, as Kabuto reaches out toward that arm with hands poised to break it if he reaches it, I sprint toward them and thrust my knife toward his liver.

It doesn't connect. I didn't expect it to. Kabuto catches my arm, receiving only a slight scratch on his palm, and reaches for my elbow. Before he can touch it I kick his knee, twist out of his reach, throw a punch for the throat.

He blocks it and before he can retaliate Neji has steadied himself and finally lands a blow, what looks like a vicious poke to Kabuto's ribs. Kabuto attacks him and deflects my attacks and this is insane, this guy is insane. Neji obviously is a prodigy of some kind and incredibly skilled in ninja arts, and I've been trained by Itachi Uchiha. How the hell is he able to fend off both of us?

I continue trying to get an upper hand on Kabuto, but inwardly my mind is running a thousand miles a minute. Neji is using his Byakugan, which means he can see chakra –that's probably why he can use only two fingers to attack, he can see the weak spots and pressure points in Kabuto's body by the flow of his chakra- so that means he can see _my _chakra which means that we have the advantage of Neji being able to tell if I'm about to use a jutsu without my having to tell him, which means I can catch Kabuto by surprise. This won't kill him but it might create an opening.

I start summoning chakra, as much as I can, molding it into a usable shape while planning out its course, by the walls and the pillars because this has to work out perfectly or I'll be worse than useless.

Unfortunately, this part is going to hurt.

* * *

><p>Danzo sat in his office at the police station, alone and silent.<p>

He was keeping up the pretense that he was busy with paperwork, but of course that was a lie. He was thinking.

Thinking hard.

Between Orouchimaru, Pain, and Tsunade, there were admittedly several powerful disruptive forces vying for control of Konoha. Some people would argue that one of these, or another of these, were disruptive for a reason -that they would ultimately do good. Danzo saw through that illusion, that lie. All of them would disrupt the peace of Konoha. All of them were the enemy.

However, it may on occasion become necessary to accept the help of the morally wayward in order to advance his goals after all. The ends would justify the means, all in good time...

By this logic, he had been able to justify to himself a partnership with that usurper Orouchimaru for the sake of undermining that madman Pain. Danzo was confident in ROOTS' abilities, but he was no fool; without the aid of Oto, he would never have been able to defeat Anbu, much less the Akatsuki. This was for the simple reason that ROOTS members were required to not only be of a certain family line, but go through a rigorous and time-consuming initiation and training process. It was the only way to ensure that only the best candidates were accepted into ROOTS, the strongest, the most skilled, and above all the most loyal. Danzo stood by his decision to continue enforcing that rule, set in place by ROOTS leaders long dead, but it did admittedly put him in an awkward position when brute strength by sheer numbers was what he needed to succeed.

And that was where Oto came in.

Orouchimaru had never been picky with who was allowed to enter his own particular organization. They weren't even required to know any of the Forbidden Arts. He even employed children, so much was his willingness to overlook decency and human suffering. His methods weren't for everyone, but Danzo must admit they got the job done. It had successfully kept the Akatsuki and Anbu busy, leaving Danzo to spend the majority of his time and effort employing power plays without being interfered with.

It had all gone smoothly, injecting Konoha's police force and local government with his own agents. It wasn't difficult, or complicated; no one even had to get hurt. He supposed it was because the masses were generally complacent. But that wasn't important right now.

It might look to an outside observer that this all a somewhat complicated gang war. A convoluted, violent display of conflict for the measly prize of territory or cash or petty revenge. This could not be further from the truth.

Anbu, Oto, Akatsuki, and ROOTS were all in the same race; to see who could take hold of the official government of Konoha first. The only distinction between them was that ROOTS was the rightful holder of that throne, the rightful keeper of the peace.

Danzo would not allow any ambitious young men, or sociopathic opportunists, or idealistic vigilantes get in the way of Konoha's well being. ROOTS would secure the city from the inside out, and in securing it, secure its safety.

However, recent events were worrying to say the least. Anbu was not supposed to survive their infiltration. The Akatsuki were not supposed to show up to assist them. Orouchimaru's prisoners and victims of his ghastly experiments were not supposed to escape, or be brought to the eyes of the general public, where they would be shown as examples of the horrible cruelty going on in this very city. Or worse, where they would be able to give testimony.

Danzo noted that if Orouchimaru's gang did not pull through, he could be in very big trouble.

He deliberated for a moment, then pulled out his letter-writing stationary and began to write.

* * *

><p>Kabuto's punch connects, hitting me in the ribs, I fall back for several steps, wheezing from breathlessness and pain as I hit the ground, pull up my knees as though I'm in too much pain to resist the urge to assume fetal position and begin to make the hand signs.<p>

My chakra flares up and I bring two fingers to my lips, like I'm smoking a cigarette. _Neji, please notice! _

He does. With no facial cues at all, Neji rolls away from Kabuto a split second before the Fireball Jutsu manifests itself, carried by the currents and air drafts in the room toward Kabuto.

Kabuto has only half a second to dodge the fire.

He drops to the floor, and that is the deciding move.

Neji is on him before the last of the fire has even died in the air, Kabuto never got a chance to fully stand. Neji hits him once, twice, three times, four times, before Kabuto finally manages to punch him hard enough to send Neji to the ground.

By that time, I'm too close for him to stop. I kick him in the throat, in the face, I lash out with everything in the few seconds I know I have, because I have _got _to make this opening count, he's got to be beaten enough to stop moving. I try and stab him, but he manages to deflect my blade enough that I draw blood in places nowhere near vital. Arm, cheekbone, shoulder.

Then his eye.

He lets out a shout of pain and I'm filled with dark satisfaction and glee.

Suddenly Kabuto is no longer fighting me. He's no longer fighting anyone. Neji has struck him on the back of the head, not hard, but precisely. Kabuto's eyes start to fade as Neji grabs his arms, apparently about to tie them behind him.

Kabuto is looking at me as his eyes start to look unfocused, with bitter resentment. I grab him by the hair, making him face me.

He opens his mouth, like he might say something.

It ends with a clean slice to the jugular.

For a second I don't believe it. I just stand there, staring, the man's blood spurting from his neck into my fist, running into the crevices of my knuckles as Kabuto makes these choking noises, drowning noises actually, as he's smothered from the inside.

Neji slowly releases the dying man's arms. I don't look at him.

_Through the crowd eyes crying out at me_

_In your place there were a thousand other faces_

Kabuto. I know this man's name. It's odd how on the one hand, a kill is a kill is a kill and nothing will change that, but there's also different ways, and they all feel different, each horrible in its own way. This particular time, it's horrible because the kill wasn't out of self-defense or out of necessity. It was personal, and the worst part is that no matter how guilty I know I should be, I don't regret it. Not even a little. I can't make excuses to myself about this, and I won't try to. I could have helped Neji tie him up, drop his ass off at the police station, have them lock him up for life. Don't care. I wanted him dead, and now I'm glad he is.

_Would you leave me, _

_If I told you what I've done?_

"Let's help the others, Neji." I say, finally standing up. I attempt to wipe the blood off onto my jeans.

"...Yes."

I don't look at him as we walk toward the back, where no one has paid much attention to us. I don't look at him to see the condemnation and disapproval I'm sure I'll see. Not because I couldn't stand to see it, because it'll make me feel guilty, but because I know I won't care, and the not caring is far scarier than if I did.

_And would you leave me, _

_If I told you what I've become?_

Whoever would have known it could be possible to be this broken?

* * *

><p>Kisame jabbed Jirobo in the throat with Samehada, so ruthlessly that there was no way the man could breathe. He probably never would. If Kisame let him be he would asphyxiate to death.<p>

No reason to make him suffer too long, now was there? Besides, what fun would there be in that?

* * *

><p>Sasori finished with a decisive slash into the bone boy's skull. Nowhere else, of course. This was quite a difficult battle to win. He really couldn't afford to mar the specimen. Killing Kimimaro without harming those precious bones had been an ordeal, but not one Sasori was unequal to.<p>

He collected the body carefully, almost gently. This would be an interesting experiment.

* * *

><p>Deidara was aware of more and more of his fellow Akatsuki streaming out of Oto, covered in gore, jobs finished. In fact, to his knowledge there was only one remaining in the building.<p>

Pain would expect him to blow it to kingdom come any second now. They needed to leave quickly as usual after a huge operation like this one. The loss of one largely untalented new recruit wouldn't be sorely regretted.

_Well,_ he thought, _I'll just have to avoid running into Pain-sama, hn. _He couldn't be accused of disobeying orders he hadn't been given, now could he?

* * *

><p>Hidan rolled his eyes, staring at the Oto building as he sat on the hood of his car. Kakuzu, the boring old fuck, was content to look through the various things they'd stolen as they went through with their violent escapades, occasionally pausing to clean the blood of certain items, heh heh.<p>

Hidan sighed dramatically. "What is _taking _these fuckers so long?"

* * *

><p>Karin ran through the hallways of Oto, heat pounding. <em>Where is he? <em>

She mentally searched for his chakra signal. It was coming from somewhere in the building, she just _knew _it. But where?

Where was Sasuke?

She finally got a good handle on it, but once she did, it only served to make her more concerned, not less. The chakra signature was dull and dim, so much different than the usual blazing fire she usually associated with him. Besides that, it was flickering. Uneasy. It wasn't the chakra of the strong and capable Sasuke Uchiha she knew. It was the energy of a lost and frightened child.

She didn't like it.

"There!" she muttered to herself. The chakra had to be coming from that room, on her right.

The door wasn't even locked. It opened easily.

There he was. But why was he-

"Sasuke!" He was unconscious.

Karin bit her lip. What else was there to do?

She managed to pick him up, straining her muscles as she did so, and proceeded to half-carry-half-drag the love of her life off of the cold hard ground.

"Let's get you home."

* * *

><p>"Well, that's about all the insubordination I have time for today," I say to Neji and Temari as I help them carry the last of the prisoners toward the hallway they'd been using to usher them out of. "Seriously, I need to get back. But, well, I...I hope it goes well for you guys."<p>

Temari nods. "Yeah, thanks for the help, Mari. We couldn't have done it without you."

"Yes you could," I scoff.

She smiles. "Yeah, but it'd be a lot more of a pain in the ass."

I turn to Neji. "Thank you. Kabuto would've killed me if you hadn't had my back, man."

He nods, face betraying none of his thoughts. "What exactly are you planning on doing?"

"Can't tell you that," I say nonchalantly. "Sorry, bro."

He nods. "Very well."

"Another time, then?" Temari asks.

"I hope." And I do. "Neji, one thing," I say. "Before you go."

He looks at me and nods just enough so I know he's listening.

"Use your eyes," I implore. "Can you tell if there's any, say, filing rooms? With computers, and stuff?"

He stares at me.

"Because Kabuto wouldn't have ended up down here by accident," I explain, somewhat nervously. "He would have been helping with the main battle, which I guarantee my boys were givin' 'em. The only thing that makes sense is that he somehow got a signal from the door, and sure enough, there's a wiring system hooked up to it-"

"Third floor, room 427."

I nod. "Thank you."

He doesn't answer.

We part ways. I jog swiftly through the dungeon, up the stairs, through the hallways, toward room 427.

If I'm going to survive the night, I'm going to have to have a damn good alibi...and a little something extra to placate Pain the loss of the pseudo-jinchuriki. And what could possibly be better than Oto's documents, their knowledge, the information they've gotten by going to lengths even Pain would consider too heinous considering the relatively small reward. Stress on the word 'relatively'.

The walk through the hallways is very unnerving. All the sounds of fighting are gone, replaced only by the humming of the sparse few florescent lights and the subtle undertone of classical music. It feels like a poem: The humming of the lights, the darkness in the corner, the music in the background, the bloodstains on the wall.

And the floor. Maybe the ceiling (yeah, Hidan's been here. How the hell did he even pull that off? Fucking psychopath). And, yeah, my hands too.

Not quite so poetic anymore.

I find myself walking faster, not out of fear exactly -because clearly anyone who might attack me has either died or retreated. (I keep my weapon out, anyways.) It's not scary, it's just...foreboding.

Who am I acting calm for, anyways? I sprint up the stairs.

Moments later, I'm at room 427, expecting to have to break the door down, but pleasantly surprised when the doorknob turns completely.

I smile a little. _Sloppy, Kabuto._

I enter the room.

It's surprisingly, unsettlingly bright. I squint, taking in the scattered papers and open filing cabinets, the cardboard boxes, the computer with a blinking music symbol for the screensaver. I walk toward it, shake my sleeve out over my fingers out of sheer habit, and wave the mouse around.

Holy shit, it's not even password protected. The dark, navy blue background appears benignly, and sitting right there in the upper right hand corner, a goddamn godsend. _My Files. _

I take a deep breath before clicking on it, then as soon as the window opens I begin blowing through the different documents like there's no tomorrow, like the fucking boogeyman is standing right behind me and he's going to snap my neck if I don't find him that selfie from three years ago he wants to delete. There are so damn many files, I don't even register their names other than to see that they don't have the words I'm looking for.

Moments later (although it feels like it takes hours), I find it. 'Jinch-'

I click it open before I can even finish reading the word.

I've never read anything so fast and so many times in the span of about three minutes. For some reason it was like the words were swimming on the page, they wouldn't sit fucking still so I could get this extremely vital information to my stupid head.

_Experiments... procedures, blah blah...statistics? Who cares! Here it is, results! _

I line up the screen with the text I want to read and start browsing.

Oh.

Oh shit.

I have a deep sinking feeling as I read that their experiments went "better than anyone could have hoped". I was hoping the files would say that there's nothing to this whole ancient-tailed-beast-demons thing, but it's not to be. Apparently these poor kids have all kinds of hidden powers and potentials, most of which I don't understand (the medical and technical jargon is too much for me. Hey, I didn't come into this knowing I'd need a goddamn P.h.D., okay), with only the drawbacks of things like "higher chance for terminal psychosis" and "blood pressure imbalances".

Shit. _Shit. _

I grit my teeth. Welp. Only one thing to do, I guess. I mean if I leave it behind, it'll be found later. If Oto's information on them are never found, Pain will seek out to get his own, I'm sure of it. The only way to know, one hundred percent, that my next mission won't be to hunt down and drag one of my closest friends (or someone like him) to his almost assuredly painful death is to make sure that Pain thinks Orouchimaru's experiments went "worse than could be expected".

Fortunately, it's not hard to forge a typed document.

* * *

><p>"Deidara."<p>

Deidara ignored him, preferring to stare at the building. _What is taking her so long? _

Sasori stepped closer. "Don't ignore me, brat. Why haven't you detonated it yet?"

Deidara made a face. "Part of the team is still in there, un."

Sasori stared at Deidara for a very long time. (For Sasori, that is.) Then he sighed. "What did I tell you?"

Deidara grunted.

"What did I tell you about this asinine idea of yours?" Sasori pressed.

"That it was a bad idea, un."

"Exactly, you idiot," Sasori snapped, walking around to the back of the car. "Exactly. You wait if you want. I'm not about to indulge this sentimental nonsense."

Deidara scowled. He could not believe -could not _believe!- _it was possible to be in this deep. And yet, here he was.

After spending so long trying to catch her, he wasn't about to let her go so easily. No way, not happening. This was one beautiful thing he wasn't going to destroy as soon as possible, as artistic as that scenario might possibly be, heh.

_I can at least stall until Pain gives the order, un._

* * *

><p><em>You want a revelation<em>  
><em>You want to get it right<em>  
><em>But, it's a conversation,<em>  
><em>I just can't have tonight<em>  
><em>You want a revelation<em>

* * *

><p><strong>I may have completely and utterly massacred the writing of Danzo, since I pretty much skimmed over the parts with him in it. If the OOC was particularly painful you now have my sincerest apologies. Also I'm pretty disappointed with how the action scene ultimately turned out, considering this is supposed to be the huge climax mof the story, but what can ya do you know. Also THE FIGHT SCENE BETWEEN ITACHI PAIN AND OROUCHIMARU IS TOO GOD DAMN AWESOME FOR HUMAN FINGERS TO TYPE I APOLOGIZE.<strong>

**Please review because it makes me happy. My ego is on a strict diet of reviews and shit like that, and if that doesn't happen my ego will shrivel up and die, and while that may be a lot more pleasant for my friends and family and others I actually speak to it'll be a lot worse for you because it kind of takes a whole damn lot of ego just to type this shit up and post it for strangers to read and criticize. So, in conclusion, reviews=ego, ego=more chapters and a happy Regan.**

**-amy out**


	58. Irony and Spite

Sweating, I press "print". Lights switch on and the machine stars whirring.

I bite my tongue. I need to hurry. The fight's over by now, and that only means bad things for anything left in the building. Including me. Knowing them, they'll want this place to be not just emptied and ransacked, but burned to the ground, too. Pain is kind of big on showy, symbolic gestures like that. I think it's dumb most of the time, but who's asking me? No one. No one is who.

But, anyways, like I was saying. Regardless of the validity of Fearless Leader's flair for the dramatic, the fact remains that I really need to get my ass out of here _now._

The printer finally finishes and I grab the papers, rolling them into a ball, shoving them into my waistband. The rest of the information I've searched over and edited when necessary can be transferred through the hard drives they were originally stored in, so I just pop those out and grab them.

I walk through the halls quickly, my sense of trepidation growing.

* * *

><p>There she was. "Mari, un!" Deidara shouted when he saw her exiting the building, carrying something.<p>

She turned around, spotted them, and changed directions. But not fast enough. "Hurry up, un!" he yelled. She sped up.

"About time," Sasori muttered irritably.

"Damn right!" Hidan added, his team having caught up with Sasori and Deidara several minutes ago. "It's been _how _long?"

She was about forty feet away from the building. That would have to do. He couldn't wait anymore. He held up his hands in the detonation position.

Mari, halfway between him and the building, ducked behind a car without missing a beat.

"Katsu!"

The top of the Oto building flew clean off from the force of the blast. Deidara stared, relishing every second of his glorious art. What a sight, un!

As the fires died down he turned his attention toward her. She hadn't stood up yet.

Deidara grit his teeth, telling himself to wait at least ten seconds before moving. Like she was always reminding him, she was a big girl and could take care of herself. Besides, how would it look if he blindly ran out to her and it turned out she was fine? He'd never hear the end of it. Sasori was already giving him an unnecessarily condescending look.

As it turned out, she was fine. Just seemed a bit shaken, maybe a little wobbly, but she collected herself and walked the rest of the way back.

"God _damn _it, Deidara!" she shouted as soon as she was in earshot. "My ears are ringing a fuckton. How hard could it have been to wait a couple more seconds? Shit, man!"

"We'd already waited more than long enough for you," Sasori told her, glaring accusingly. "If it had been up to me, the brat would have detonated his bombs a full ten minutes ago."

"Yeah, well -wait, what?" Mari cut herself short from the rant she was only seconds away from beginning, instead looking at Deidara with curiosity and shock. "You..."

Deidara crossed his arms and stared back. "Yeah, hm?"

"Uh..." She cleared her throat and looked away, embarrassed. "Thanks."

Deidara's lips twitched upwards despite how serious he was trying to stay. She was so easy to read sometimes. "No problem, un."

"Brats, shut up," Sasori cut them off harshly, elbowing Deidara out of the way and standing in front of Mari. "You need medical examination. Sit still."

Mari made an irritated growling noise in the back of her throat, but allowed Sasori to check for bruises and bumps where they shouldn't be. Deidara swallowed his irritation at being shoved while Mari mechanically complied to orders of "lift your arms" and "let me see that" and "sit still". He could swear Sasori was only doing this to annoy him. Mari was walking around and arguing just like normal, so what if she had bruises or nicks?

"Anything you think could be dangerous?" Sasori asked. "Keep in mind if you lie, I'll give you another one."

Mari scrunched her nose in distaste. "Yeah, I got hit in the head," she answered begrudgingly. She parted her hair, lifting her head down. "Here."

Sasori poked it and rubbed the surrounding area methodically. "Nothing serious."

"Awesome," Mari answered drily.

"Well, that's real fuckin' neato," Hidan interrupted loudly. "But what now? I know one thing, I need a damn drink."

"Hell yes, un," Deidara added. He nudged Mari. "What do you say, Tough Girl?"

She gave him a pointed look. "Do you not see that I'm doing something?" she asked in exasperation.

"You are?"

"Nevermind." She wedged the door to Sasori's car the rest of the way open with her knee, dumping...whatever it was she'd been carrying into the backseat.

"What is all that, hm?"

She straightened up, smiling. "Oto's files, man," she announced. "That's why I was late on my way out. I was getting them."

Deidara raised his eyebrows, impressed despite himself at her initiative. "You just..._found_ them, hm?"

"More or less."

"Awesome." Deidara didn't really care. Intel wasn't his specialty and it sure as hell wasn't his concern. For right now, his concerns were one, to get drunk, and two, to get Mari drunk. It had been a long day and a difficult mission and he was ready to party, and maybe take another shot at-

Anyways. It was time to party.

"What are you grinning about, man?" Mari asked, suspiciously.

"Nothing, un."

"You're a shitty liar, you know that?"

"You can't prove anything and you know it." He grinned at her. "So what do you say? Want to hit up the Branch?"

Mari made a face. "I don't know, man. I'm tired and pretty beat. Did I mention I ran into Kabuto? I had to fight him."

"You fought _Kabuto?" _Deidara asked, trying not to sound too incredulous. "And you_ won?"_

Mari bit her lip, looking angry at herself. "Yeah. I had help, though."

"Who?"

She seemed to deliberate for a second, and for just a moment he could see the calculating look in her eyes, before she seemed to make a decision. "Neji Hyuga," she finally said, under her breath so the others couldn't hear her over the sound of Hidan's loud, foulmouthed complaining. "Him and some of the other kids I used to hang out with broke in and evacuated all the prisoners before I could get to them. I had to pretend to be on their side, which is lucky because I needed his help against Kabuto. Otherwise he would've killed me."

"Damn." Deidara couldn't believe this was the same girl who he had saved from a couple of amateurs only a few months ago. His little Tough Girl all grown up. "It sounds to me like you need a drink more than I do, un."

She rolled her eyes. That was cute. She was cute. "You always know how to steer the conversation your way, huh?"

He grinned bigger. "So you'll go, hm?"

"Sure." She sighed. "Why the hell not. Let's go back to the house first. I want to clean up, and check on Joseph."

"And get dressed up, hm?" Deidara suggested slyly, wiggling his eyebrow.

"You wish."

* * *

><p>I got a ride back with Deidara after radioing Itachi and reporting mission failure. I sold him the same story as I told Deidara - that Anbu had already evacuated too many of the prisoners, that it would've been stupid and unnecessary at that point to fight them over the last handful. "We can always track them down later if we need to," I say at the end, a little bit desperately. "Those poor people are going to be in the <em>hospital <em>for _months _after what Oto did to them. We can just _fetch _them from there."

I don't bother to hide the disdain in my voice. It earns me a cautionary look from Deidara, a skeptical look from Sasori, and a scalding look from Kakuzu (to be fair, most looks I get from Kakuzu could be classified as "scalding"). I don't care. They need to be held responsible, just for a second in their minds, for the kind of atrocities they're willing to go along with.

"..." Itachi hits the button, relaying static, then releases it, emitting silence.

I bite my cheek.

Finally his voice radios over, scratchy and toneless. "What's this I hear about the five of you going drinking tonight?"

Hidan laughs. I laugh along, with relief. "Deidara talked me into it," I answer apologetically. "Sasori agreed to be designated driver."

"What?" Sasori asks, snapping.

"Sh!" I tell him, even though I'm no longer pressing the 'speak' button and there's no way Itachi could have heard that.

Itachi radios in. "You'll be going to the establishment of your employment?"

"Yeah." Itachi is so pretentious sometimes, with his stunted way of speaking. What's so hard about just saying 'Rotting Branch'? "We're headed home first, then up there."

"I'll talk to you shortly." He disconnects.

I press the power button and shrug at Deidara. "I guess we'll see, man."

He rolls his eyes at me. "You are so whipped, un. Do you really need his permission?"

I scowl. "Dude, he's saved my life like ten times. If he doesn't want me to go fuckin' drinking, then yeah, I'll stay home. So what?"

The look Deidara gives me only confirms that I am nowhere near convincing enough to get away with acting flippant about that. I decide that the only mature, logical course of action is to flip him off and change the subject.

"Was that really the entire gang?" I ask, leaning forward to face Sasori in the mirror. "Like…we're done?"

He gives me his standard half-lidded, deprecating look. "Of course not. Akatsuki has other enemies besides Oto, you know."

"You _know _what I _mean, _man."

He pauses, flipping his turn signals on nonchalantly. "I'm fairly certain Pain and Itachi neutralized Orouchimaru. I'm not sure about Kabuto-"

"He's dead," I cut him off. "I killed him. What about the escaped Oto, though? Some of them have to have ran."

"You're overestimating their loyalty," Kakuzu speaks up. "Oto was careless and weak in structure. Without leaders, the gang is gone."

The relief I feel at hearing that is illogical and powerful. I can actually feel my shoulders relax unconsciously. Oto has been my enemy since before I was even an Akatsuki, since they jumped and tortured me with knives and baseball bats. They're the ones who threatened me, and my little brother, and pretty much everyone I cared about; they're the ones I've heard about terrorizing innocent people and altogether making life worse for everyone. I know that a big part of my distaste and hatred for Oto comes from intentional, methodical manipulation from Pain and yes, probably Itachi, too. Still, while they manipulated the truth, they didn't change the facts. I think of those kids, tied up in that room, headed for human trafficking or God knows what else, and even know it makes me narrow my eyes in anger. Oto was corrupt, dangerous, and evil. I'm glad they're disbanded, or dead.

"Hey, Tough Girl, calm down, un!" Deidara laughs. "Fight's over."

I glare at him. "I _know _that, man."

"You had your murder look in your eyes, un."

"I have a murder look?"

"Everyone does," Hidan butts in. I look at him. He's grinning, fangs bared. "Most people just never find it!"

The two of them laugh like hyenas. Must be an old joke.

I'm uncertain whether to disapprove or laugh along, so I just scowl. "Greater good," I mutter under my breath, irony and spite.

Sasori glances at me fleetingly. "Don't get dull again," he says, just as lowly.

"Fuck, sorry the last shitty dregs of my moral code are boring you."

"All is forgiven," he replies straight-facedly. I can't tell if he's serious or not. I decide what am I thinking of course he is.

We pull into the drive, stumbling out of the car as gracelessly as could be expected. As soon as I enter the house, I feel like I haven't slept in days. I'd almost like to collapse on the couch if it weren't for my boots and how much I desperately need a shower. And, yeah, I still need to talk to Joseph. And Kai, and Itachi...and maybe Mom? No, just those three.

I grab a cell phone and dial.

_Pickuppickupickuppickup- _"Hello?" Joseph's voice, calm and casual. The relief is tangible.

"It's me."

"Mari!" I can practically see her jumping off the couch. "You're okay! What happened? Is it over? Where's Hidan?"

I laugh a little. "Chill. Yeah, I'm okay. Apparently Oto's disbanded. It's a long story, I'll tell you later. Your cocknozzle of a boyfriend is right here-" I hold the phone out toward Hidan's obligatory stream of curses. "And more importantly, where's Kai?"

"Oh, he's just watching Dragon Ball Z." She snorts. "Wonder if he knows that show's older than our parents."

"_My_ parents maybe." Man, I need to catch up on Dragon Ball Z. "And, uh, you know...Mom?"

Joseph pauses.

I glare immediately. "She's _already _strung out?!"

"No!" Joseph cuts me off immediately. "I mean, I doubt it. Jesus, Mari, calm down. She's just buying groceries."

"Yeah, the hell she is."

"Hey, don't be saying ungrateful shit like that!" Joseph snaps hotly.

I roll my eyes, not wanting to get into this discussion with her again. Anything critical of any kind of maternal figure is basically a crime as far as Joseph's concerned. "Yeah, yeah, I got it. Look, I know this may sound weird, but after she gets back tell her to stay there for a couple more days, don't go outside if you can help it."

"You're so paranoid."

"Don't start with me," I warn her. "Just do it, okay?"

"Hey, get off my phone!"

"Oh, good, Kisame found me. Later, I love you gu-"

That's as far as I get before he snatches the phone away, snapping it closed. "What the hell, Mari?"

I roll my eyes. I don't feel like explaining myself. I have more important things to do than listen to Fishface whine about his stupid phone. "Itachi!"

"Hn." There he is, hiding in plain sight. I don't know what it is, but it's like he's never, ever noticed before he wants to be.

I throw my hands out from my waist, awkwardly. "Here I am! You said you wanted to talk?"

He looks at me disparagingly. "Are you serious about drinking tonight?"

I bite my tongue, thinking. "Well..." I'm pretty tired already, and the thought of a warm bed is a lot more tempting than a sweaty bar and hard barstool.

"Because I was completely serious about those push-ups."

God dammit. "Yeah, I'm going out." I grin a little. "I mean, if I'm _allowed." _

I get the feeling that Itachi shares at least some of my discomfort with the current situation between us -you know, the whole stoic-reluctant-father-figure whom I have to answer to about things that aren't his business while he continues to take intrusive responsibility for the aforementioned things- and I'm more than happy to use that to my advantage when I can. I mean, if that perceived advantage actually exists, which I'm not altogether sure of. Could just be hopeful thinking.

"In that case, I'll be going as well."

Oh _shit _did that backfire. "_What?" _

Itachi surprises me by smirking. "You aren't altogether pleasant when you're drinking. Think of it as a just-in-case."

I scowl. "Just in case my _ass. _You just get an ego boost by getting to be the 'responsible one'," I say over my shoulder as I head toward my bedroom.

"Besides which," Itachi says quietly. I pretend I'm not straining to hear. "We do have more serious things to discuss."

Shit. I stop walking away. "So much for fun."

"You know my position on fun."

I have to smile. "No shit."

* * *

><p>"Mari!" Eugene, the owner of the bar, is here with his wife when we arrive. I courtesy smile; he's kind of annoying, but he's my boss and anyways, it's not like he's ever done anything to deserve being on my bad side.<p>

"Hey," I wave in greeting. "Slow night?"

"It was," he replies, smiling. "Until you brought your friends."

"'Friends' is a strong word," I reply, looking at Hidan making a beeline for the bar.

Deidara shoves me on the shoulder. "Don't be an ass, un."

"Oh, _you're_ one to talk!" I scoff.

Eugene laughs. "Well, drinks are free for staff. Help yourself." He goes back to his conversation.

"Bomb. Fuckin'. Diggidy." I plop down at the closest chair, grinning.

"You're a dork, un," Deidara informs me, taking a chair to my left. It scoots several inches closer with his momentum as he sits down.

"Whatever," I grunt. He is _not _going to goad me into an argument. I've had enough fighting in the last twenty four hours, I am going to be pleasant and enjoy myself if it kills me.

"Do...you want me to get drinks, hm?" Deidara asks, somewhat uncertainly.

Great. Nice. Nice is unsettling and almost always means something's up. "Thanks, man," I say, looking at the wall behind him impassively.

He grunts and stands up. As soon as he turns away I watch him, trying my damndest to wear a poker face, probably not all that successfully. He hates being pleasant, and hates feeling like he's changing how he's acting for someone else. His attitude generally is just "here I am, deal with it, no flash photography please", which is incredibly annoying, but I can see how it works for him. Anyways, despite his usual attitude, he's willing to suck it up and play nice for me, to let me feel like I have some control so I don't feel so threatened.

_He's manipulating you, _part of me insists. _He doesn't mean it. He's using you. _

I make a face. Well, aren't I using him? Doesn't everyone use everyone else constantly, for fun or for comfort or just to not be lonely? People are selfish by nature. What makes one kind of selfishness worse than another kind?

What's the point of even _caring_, anyways?

I bite my tongue in frustration. This is stupid.

"You have a new assignment."

I very nearly jump when I hear Itachi's voice behind me. I turn around and scowl in irritation. "You know, you could just appear in _front _of someone occasionally," I say snidely. "Or maybe greet me by saying 'hello' or some shit? For fuck's sake, is being mysterious _that _important, man?"

Itachi ignores my ranting, taking the seat to my right. "This may sound odd to you, but Leader thinks it will do wonders for our cause."

I scowl. "And what is that cause, exactly? Now that Oto's gone?"

Itachi regards me blankly.

"And don't just say 'the greater good'!" I say. "I want to know. What does he want?"_  
><em>

"Everything."

"What?" I ask, taken aback.

Itachi stares at me solemnly. "Change can't be made one city at a time. Konoha was, you might say...a test run."

"For what?" I scoff. "Stopping petty crimes? Or learning how to commit 'em better?"

"Don't make the mistake of thinking you know even half of the things our organization does," Itachi says sharply.

I stare.

"The fighting, the violence, all of it was just a distraction," Itachi says. "You assumed you knew our plans because of it. Hopefully, so did the rest of the world. The Akatsuki's true purpose is so much more than 'petty crimes'. Our real fight takes place behind closed doors, where bureaucrats sign papers allowing suffering of those in far-off places. We are going to infiltrate the buildings that house that corruption."

I hate that his words stir up the revolutionary in me. How many times have I sat at home and thought about all the evil and corruption that the law allows, how warped the system is, and wished I could change it? What Itachi's describing is a fight against what I've always seen as the true evil in the world, the evil that operates from its place of safety and luxury while others suffer for it. Itachi knows exactly how to push my buttons, and I hate it.

"We are going to rip their power from them, and hold it for our own." Itachi has no enthusiasm, no determination. He doesn't need it to convince me. He says the words with absolute certainty. He states these things as facts, leaving no room for doubt. "We will use that power to create a better world."

I take a deep breath, thinking about having the capability to really make a difference -a _good_ one, to make up for all the crimes I've already committed. I'm inspired, I'm excited, I can't wait.

_Itachi, you are so very full of shit._

"So where do I come in?" I ask, crossing my legs. "This sounds like something you need, like, finesse and intelligence for. Power, and influence. How could I possibly help with that?"

Itachi smiles. "You have a greater potential than you might realize."

"Here!" A strawberry Daquiri lands on the table in front of me, pointedly. "If you don't like it, tough, un."

Deidara's already disgruntled and irritated, as he usually gets when I'm doing anything other than giving him my undivided attention. "We're kind of talking about something, Dei," I say. "Could you just give us a minute, man?"

He scowls. "This is crap, Mari. Utter crap, un."

"It's Akatsuki business," Itachi says, the epitome of cool manners. "We appreciate it."

Deidara sighs to show how very, very much he is suffering. "Fine." He picks the drink he'd selected from himself off the table. "You owe me, un," he tells me.

Which would have been fine, if he hadn't leaned close to my ear when he said it. And trailed his finger across my shoulders as he walked off.

I stare resolutely at the wall. _You. Little. Shit._

_"_Well?" Itachi asks.

"What?"

"You were saying?"

"I wasnt' saying anything."

"You looked like you were about to."

I glare at him. "Well, maybe I forgot, okay?" I hate it when he messes with me. It seriously isn't funny. "Can you just give me a straight answer, what am I supposed to be doing?"

"Becoming famous."

I blink. "What? You're...serious?"

"It wouldn't be the traditional way," Itachi assures me. "Between the ten of us, we have more than enough potential to pull the necessary strings. Your job is primarily to make it seem like you're only another teenager starving for fame."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," I say as I twist the cap off the bottle. "Pain wants me to go and win the _X Factor? _For the sake of world domination? That's ridiculous."

"Is it?" Itachi looks me in the eyes. "How much are you influenced by your music? How much does it change your ideas, and words, and actions? You are what you hear."

I give him an odd look. "So?"

"So, the Akatsuki could benefit from having the general population primed to agree with us," Itachi explains, casually. "Your influence would be a start. Once you're well-known enough, you could go back to field work, persuading other influential stars to express our views."

I shake my head, feeling overwhelmed. "You...you guys want me to become a teen idol, so that I can sing about anarchy and revolution in some upbeat pop songs, hoping it'll get kids to fall over themselves to swear loyalty to Pain? That's the worst plan."

"It's not uncommon," Itachi argues. "We have evidence that..." He looks at me, then seems to change his mind. "We can discuss technicalities later. For now, the point is moot. Your input isn't needed. You just follow orders."

I sigh, bringing my hand to my forehead. "Every time I think the craziest thing has happened, you guys manage to top it. I just can't win."

"You have my condolences."

"Okay, I'm done waiting, un!" Deidara elbows his way back into our conversation. He glares at Itachi. "Whatever else you need to say, you can say in front of me."

"That's fine. We were finished, anyways." Itachi stands up. "Mari?"

"Yeah?"

"Enjoy yourself." He smiles coldly. "You do tend to be uptight."

"_I'm _uptight?!" I practically screech with indignation, but he's already leaving.

Deidara laughs. I huff my irritation. "He's one to talk," I mutter. "Designated fuckin' driver. What a dick."

Deidara keeps snickering. That he finds my anger funny will eternally annoy me. "Hey, you heard him!" He puts a finger on the end of my daquiri as I take a drink and tips it up, making more of the beverage pour into my mouth. "Enjoy yourself, un."

* * *

><p><strong>The X Factor really is a stupid show.<strong>

**I'm sorry for the wait, everyone. As always, I'd love reviews if you can be bothered.**

**-amy out**


	59. A Masterpiece

**Lyrics from this chapter (the WHOLE chapter) are from ****Masterpiece Theatre III by Marianas Trench. You should absolutely check out the song on Youtube. It is fantastic.**

* * *

><p><em>The hottest place in Hell is reserved for those who remain neutral in times of great conflict. <em>

_-Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr._

* * *

><p><em>I've got a new disease in me<em>

_I've got a friend that's losing sleep_

_I take it hard, it's hard to take_

_I'm wide awake, I'm wide awake_

That night, I get drunk. Not too drunk to walk, but too drunk to protest the tiny, casual, deceptively innocent touches Deidara slips in between verbal barbs, on my hand, my shoulder, my waist. The touches create invisible, pleasant sparks, and the cautious looks he gives me creates the illusion of control on my part. And right now, illusion or not, I need that.

He supports me on the way back to the car, although I don't need it and make it clear that I don't. Itachi impatiently revs the engine as Deidara tries to help me actually _get into the car _(for fuck's sake) and I push him away. On the way home I sip my last...whatever this is and he stares out the window, impassive but for the finger on my knee.

_One more confession, _

_Discretion's not what I need to sell_

I know what he's trying to do. And I know he could be trying to use me, or lie to me. And I don't care. After today, it's hard to be intimidated by the idea of being dumped, or being sad. All I want is to have _someone _to hold onto when it gets dark, someone to cling to unapologetically when the quiet starts to creep in and the demons come out to play. I need distraction, I need fire burning bright and fast enough to burn away all the ugliness and pain; I need fire lighting up the night and reminding me that there is still beauty, and there is still joy, even if it lasts so little time, even if it comes at a price.

_I never needed a reason for keeping secrets from myself_

That's why I don't protest when he follows me into my room, pausing only when I hear Itachi's muffled voice at the bottom of the stair-ladder, in a muttered argument with Deidara.

"Hey. Itachi." They stop arguing, to look up at me, glaring down from above. "I almost died four times today. I mastered an ancient jutsu, and I killed Kabuto." I swerve a little bit. "...My decision."

He looks up at me, unreadable. He nods. "Hn."

He turns away, but not before giving Deidara one final, significant look. Deidara scowls in his direction.

"You gonna glare at Itachi all night, or what, man?"

He switches his gaze to me, leaving no doubt as to his intentions.

I start to walk away from the hallway, hearing him enter the room and close the door behind him. The lights stay off.

I expect him to jump me immediately. He doesn't. The tension climbs.

I clear my throat. "Uh...do I need to tell you...?"

"No sex, un." He finishes for me.

"Yeah."

"Can I change your mind, hm?"

I hesitate, thinking maybe, thinking _Deidara's fingers on my back, lips touching my neck-_

_-neck being roughly grabbed by a man three times my size as I struggle and scream and grab at a nearby beer bottle, smashing, slashing-_

_-slashing my way through that boy guard's throat-_

_-throat of the man who kicked me and looked me in the eyes and promised to murder me-_

"No." I say it so decisively, I know he won't try to argue it.

"...Fine."

I blink, eyes not yet adjusted. "Where-"

I do not finish that question.

_And now, that's just how I tell, I'm wide awake._

* * *

><p>The next day, I'm greeted with a hangover from hell (the last one was <em>nothing), <em>scratch marks down Deidara's back (holy _fuck), _and three _fucking hickeys. _

As soon as I think my head can take the argument, I swat him on the shoulder with my left arm. "Are you _kidding me?" _

He grunts. "It's too early for this, un," he says, muffled.

"You _marked _me!"

"So did you, un."

"But-"

"Just go back to sleep, un." Deidara says, wearily. "We can argue in an hour."

I grunt. "Two hours, man."

"Yeah."

"I'm so gonna win the argument."

"You wish."

Keeping romance alive is a subtle art.

* * *

><p>My hangover is somewhat abetted by coffee. It is made at least ten times worse by arguing with Deidara (as per our plan), then with Hidan and Kisame about which of these marks were or weren't bruises and how long bruises could take to show and what the hell they knew about bruises anyway since one of them heals super fast and one of them is fuckin' <em>blue. <em>The winner of the Who Makes Mari The Most Miserable contest is won, however, by Itachi when he insists that I actually do those two hundred push-ups for using the Fireball Jutsu without his supervision.

At 11 push-ups, I tell Itachi that I hate alcohol. He says he doesn't blame me.

At 31, I ask if this is really necessary, I mean, in the grand scheme of things. He tells me to keep doing push-ups.

At 78, I inform Itachi that I am going to die. He says he doubts it.

At 114, I tell him that I've already learned my lesson. He ignores me.

At 149, I tell him I hate him. He tells me to keep doing push-ups.

At 176, I request a mercy killing. He then threatens me with 50 punishment push-ups if I continue to run my mouth.

At 200, I grit my teeth and manage to stand up without vomiting.

"Could that _really_ not have waited a few hours, man?" I snap, as acidically as I can in my current condition.

"You wouldn't have learned anything that way."

"Hey, Itachi."

"Hn?"

I stare him in the eyes, setting my jaw. "I want my cloak."

_I'll wreck this if I have to. _

_Tell me, what good would that do?_

_I'll wreck this if I have to._

* * *

><p>One full month passes. The missions required of the Akatsuki are not in need of the likes of me.<p>

Reunions are had between me and my family, between me and my friends on the opposite side of the "greater good". Both are bittersweet, but largely uneventful.

Naruto and Sakura insists they will help me, should I need it. I agree to help them, should I be able to hide it.

_I'd be so good to you, I'd be so good to you._

My mother, upon returning, with Kai wide-eyed at his vacation (never having had one before), asks me to visit their home. I do.

"So."

"So," I answer in reply, over the sound of the manic screaming of Kai's little-kid cartoon he's allowed himself to enjoy once again, now that there are no criminals around for him to hide himself from.

_You get __separated, somebody's gone._

"I take it you won."

"We're alive, aren't we?'

Mom stares at me. "Mari, give me the truth. Will Konoha be safe for us?"

"Konoha will always be safe for you." I allow myself grim amusement. "And don't think you and Kai will have to settle for this shitty apartment for long. I'm about to have friends in high places."

_And I don't know how this is wrong._

* * *

><p>"Life is pain."<p>

I stand between Itachi and Kisame, watching Pain speak. We, the Akatsuki, are spread out in a line behind him, staring down ROOTS with cold eyes. Pain stands in front of us, Konan beside him, standing just slightly behind. Danzo stands a few feet in front of Pain, head held high, but with the pain of loss and defeat in the one eye that isn't patched. His soldiers have faces covered in masks, or have faces that may as well be masks.

We stand in the catacombs of ROOTS' ancient hideaway, supposedly hidden for centuries. Of course, knowing that the name of the organization is literally 'something that grows underground', it's not rocket science that their hideout may be below ground floor, so I'm not really sure how they missed that. The room is large, hollow, cement, undecorated, lit by torches reminiscent of days long past. I twist my ring around my finger. I rub the fabric of my cloak.

"That is the ultimate truth of living...whether you are a warrior or a peacemaker, that is how it has always been. Our lives are ruled by pain, of the body or the soul. Pain is humanity's God, second only to Death."

Cheery guy, isn't he. Of course, what else can you expect from a conquering psychopath giving his victory speech? I wonder glumly when he's going to order something so bad I can't convince myself to carry through with it. Helpless people seem to be my limit; when he finally -inevitably- gives that order, I will have to act. And I am already certain that action will lead to my death.

_And I'm so frustrated, falling behind,_

_You were a friend of mine._

"However, this is not how man was meant to live. We are unhappy with the status quo, which does not allow true peace. This world needs a new God...a God of Peace."

Gee, wonder who that could be. Any suggestions, fearless leader?

"True peace can only be understood when the people understand true pain. However...this may be too heavy a burden for most people. And so, only those able to understand true pain, may understand true peace...and be worthy to be Peace incarnate on this earth."

I shudder slightly. _Evil_, I think, looking at Pain.

_Complacent, _I think, looking at myself. I shudder more.

"Any threats to peace must be eradicated."

I don't even have time for horror.

Danzo tries to speak. A single syllable escapes before he has flown into the wall with the strength and speed of a car on a highway.

_I'd be so good to you_

There is a single, collective intake of breath from ROOTS, standing behind Danzo. They do not flinch. They only turn and watch Danzo crumple before turning back to face Pain. They are not too disturbed to act. They are not satisfied with this turn of events. They are just...apathetic.

_What _are _these people?_

"Your old leader is dead," Pain tells the small army harshly. "He has been defeated. He was weak. He failed. He is no loss to our cause. I am your leader now," he tells them, exuding absolute authority. "And you will follow my orders, or you will be killed."

_Because they don't know you like I do._

I'm scared and he's not even talking to me.

In a grandiose gesture, Pain motions toward us, standing behind him. "All of these people you see before you have fought the good fight for far longer, as you tried to deter them. For that reason, they are your superiors. If someone with the ring of an Akatsuki gives you an order, you are to carry it out, on pain of death. Understood?"

As one unit -as one entity- they stand at attention, and salute. "HAI!"

Pain nods, seeming to approve. "As you were, then. Except for you," he says, pointing toward one ROOTS member in the front row. "Dispose of the body."

"Hai."

He turns to us. "All of these men and women have been converted to our cause," he informs us. "I expect you to treat them with respect accordingly."

But we can all see his vicious smile.

_They don't know you like I do._

* * *

><p>"Joseph."<p>

"You ready to talk?"

I groan.

We're at my mom's apartment, me enjoying one of my rare nights off these days. Between school re-starting, auditions more or less everywhere, voice coaches, and the occasional mission Pain still insists I embark on, I am very busy these days. Joseph found out I was staying here and, naturally, took time off for her job.

Currently, we are doing manicures, our Akatsuki rings (Pain made her an 'honorary member', only because he wants yet another proxy between himself and former ROOTS members) deposited in an ash tray on the coffee table before us.

"Well, you ought to be," she mutters. "You can't avoid this forever, you know."

"Yeah, I know." I bite my tongue. "It's just...overwhelming."

"I know."

We sit in silence as she paints my nails. I appreciate that she may be the only person who can tell, and who genuinely cares, that I am deeply unhappy.

_They don't know you like I do._

You'd be surprised how easy it is to act like nothing is strange, especially when everyone wants to believe nothing is. You'd be surprised how easy it is to convince yourself that nothing is wrong, at least, for a little while. But even when I'm careful not to let myself engage in 'coping methods' that I know lead to nowhere, even when I'm swearing off alcohol, and self-harm, and every other sick little habit I've dabbled in over the last year -even though I've swallowed my pride and started writing out the sickness a little bit every day, I still sometimes wonder how I can live with this.

I'm going to be famous. I'm going to be a famous musician, a pop idol, maybe the lead singer of a band, inspiring people everywhere...for all the wrong reasons.

I shake my head. See, this is what I mean by overwhelming. There are so many things going wrong, and on so many different levels, I get mixed up somewhere between what's happening in my head and what I want to make happen in real life.

Finally I clear my throat. "We can't let this happen."

Even though I know they can't possibly hear me, that feels so risky to say. Even though I've personally cracked open my ring with a knife to remove and -with the help of Joseph- examine the tracking device within to make sure there is absolutely no listening or recording devices in it, and even though I've left my shoes and anything else able to carry electronic bugs in the car I drove over here, part of me is convinced they're hearing every word of this conversation.

Joseph doesn't look up, but keeps painting my nails. "Why not?"

"Because Pain is insane. He's evil. He wants to take over the _world_, Joseph," I say, imploringly, desperately needing to convince her.

"We can't do anything he doesn't like. We'll be killed."

"We're the only ones who _can, _Joseph!" I tense, looking at her with fire in my eyes. "We can't just sit around and let this happen because we're afraid of dying. It's us or hundreds of others. We can do something!"

"What, kill them? Sabotage their plans?"

I sigh. This is the complicated part. "No. I mean, not yet."

"Why's that?"

"I've given this a lot of thought. The system we have now is no good. It needs to be replaced," I say, determinedly. "Just not with Pain's system. The thing is, though, if we want to have a chance to influence the way things are for the better, we need to let them change _some_ things."

She's quiet.

"Besides," I venture on. "Even if we did try and kill them all, right now...it would never work. All we'd achieve is to get ourselves, and Mom, and Kai killed. If we wait, we can help my actually helping change some of the things we do. We won't just be _around _the most powerful people in the world, we'll _be _some of the most powerful people in the world. We can help people. I _know_ we can."

She smiles. I blink in surprise.

"I've been waiting for you to say that for months now, Mari."

We smile at each other.

_They don't know you like I do._

I sigh. "This is going to take awhile, Joseph."

She laughs bitterly. "A vendetta against who are soon to be the most powerful people in the world? No shit."

I shake my head. "Can you believe my _gang_ is going to pay for my _college tuition_?"

We both have a good snort at that, because it really is just that ridiculous. The plan is for me to major in music at a university near the recording studio capital of the Land of Fire and to -through a combination of my 'talent' (however much of that I actually have is debateable), Kakuzu's cutthroat tactics, and Joseph's cunning charm- find myself a nice cozy spot to sing my way, on behalf of the Akatsuki, into the minds of millions of children.

"I still can't believe that's the actual plan."

"I know!"

"I would say it would never work if it weren't- well, you guys," Joseph finishes, somewhat apologetically.

That drains the laughter right out of the air, because she's right; if anyone could pull off such a complicated scheme, not only would it be totally unexpected, it would _work. _A whole generation influenced by me and my department (because the plan isn't just me, it's to branch out into as many other artists as I can, 'convincing' them to spread the same message I am, either on accident or on purpose, until everyone in music is singing and dancing and moshing and stomping their feet to our agenda), and by Deidara in his, while Itachi secures the approval of the older generation, along with real political, _legal _power.

Oh, did I mention? I'm not the only one hitting the public eye. Deidara is going to be an actor. Itachi is going to run for ambassador.

Yeah, I know.

"My whole life, I've hated the idea of brainwashing," I tell Joseph. "I used to yell at the teacher for 'making us all be the same', remember?"

"Yeah."

"But now, _I'm _gonna be the one who's-"

"Yeah."

"It's just-"

"Mari!" she cuts me off. "I _know. _I know. It's shitty. It's shitty and it always will be shitty. But if you start freaking out, you'll get mad, and end up giving something away, and then so much for helping people. And besides that, you'll mess up your nails."

I roll my eyes.

"Oh, don't give me that, you gender-confused shrew."

"I am _not-"_

"Chill!" she holds out her hands placatingly. "Don't mess up the paint!"

I glare at her in irritation.

She grins at me. "Just because we're changing the world, doesn't mean we can't enjoy ourselves sometimes."

I allow a begrudging smile.

She wiggles her eyebrows suggestively. "And speaking of _enjoying _ourselves-"

"No."

"What's up with you and-"

"No."

"Have you two-"

"No."

"Are you saying no like as in an answer, or just to be stubborn?"

_"No," _I say firmly. "What goes on between me and Deidara is personal. _Personal, _Joseph. That means you stay out of it, man."

"Uh-huh." There's silence.

"...Mari?"

"Yeah?"

"...Do you really want to betray them?"

Joseph looks anxious. Worried. And more than anything, I know how she feels.

Forget our sorry excuse for romances -these people were our _friends. _In Joseph's case, these were people she'd lived beside for months, trading verbal barbs, arguing over the TV, playing poker and getting drunk and laughing with. In my case, these were people who'd saved my life many times over, who I'd fought and nearly died beside. That's a bond you don't get anywhere else.

I would risk my life to save Hidan's, or Kisame's, probably even Konan's, that's not even to mention Itachi or Deidara. And if I'm honest with myself, I don't really want to see the rest of them killed, either. And yet, they all have to die, from the most powerful, down to the least powerful. In other words, me. I'm already resigned that my death will be Akatsuki-related. It's just a matter of delaying it for long enough for me to work against the evilness they've created so far.

_There's a difference!_

_From me to them!_

"No," I answer honestly. "But that doesn't matter. This is bigger than us."

She sighs. "How are we going to do all of this, alone?"

I smile grimly. "We may not have to."

* * *

><p>Joseph sat in Tsunade's office, staring across the principal's desk, staring boredly.<p>

"So. You're wanting to enroll as a sophomore in Leaf High, correct?" Tsunade asked, businesslike. "Do you have your paperwork ready?"

Joseph cleared her throat. "Actually," she said in a high-pitched, nearly singsong voice. "_Pain _sent me here to enroll as a sophomore in Leaf High. _I'm_ here to make an official request to be enrolled in Anbu."

_That _got the old lady's attention, alright. She stopped writing, slowly looking up from her papers, straightening out to look Joseph in the eyes.

Joseph smiled. "Of course, it would have to be sort of an _honorary _position. Of course, I'm already honorary Akatsuki, so we might as well make it even, huh? My talents should be shared across the board, if you ask me."

"Who, exactly, are you?" Tsunade asked, narrowing her eyes.

"Joseph Hoshi Rokadu, close personal friend of Mari Sui, at your service. And yes, I'm aware it's traditionally a boy's name. 'Josephine' sounded stupid, so I erased the last three letters on the birth certificate."

"What is your interest in Anbu?" Tsunade asked, still giving Joseph a deep, searching look.

Joseph let her smile drop, along with her carefree, mocking demeanor. "You're the only ones who may be able to bring Pain down one day," she said, with every drop of seriousness and sincerity in her body. "Mari told me to tell you she sent me. Said it would be way too dangerous for her to show up in your office to try to talk."

Tsunade nodded. "Mari is that friend of Naruto's, wasn't she? The one that assisted Anbu in releasing Oto's prisoners, and dispatched Kabuto?"

"Yeah, and she killed the creep, too." It was very satisfactory to lead people to believe she was dumb, only to later make them regret ever underestimating her. "Point is, we're offering you guys a once-in-a-lifetime deal here: we'll give you inside information on the Akatsuki's movements and plans. We'll collaborate with you as much as we can without putting ourselves too blatantly in danger."

_And the road home is paved in starfucker's reqiuem_

Tsunade stared at Joseph. "And how are we supposed to trust you? You admit you work for the Akatsuki. Perhaps you are trying to trick us into giving you secrets that you could then report back to the Akatsuki."

Joseph shrugged. "So, don't give me information. No, I mean it. Until we've given you enough information about them that you could blackmail us with it, don't tell us a damned word about Anbu's plans." Joseph noted with satisfaction the amount of surprise on Tsunade's face at that. "Eventually, we'll have to have a mutual trust, but for now, just know that we're at a much greater risk attempting this, than you are in trusting us."

_I can never go, go back home again_

"I see." Tsunade leaned back into her chair, looking up at the wall, seeming to calculate something briefly, before sitting back up to face Joseph again. "Prove you have worthwhile information."

"Six weeks ago to the day, Pain killed Danzo using a ninjutsu that's basically telekinesis. He then ordered the entire ROOTS organization to follow his orders, and all indications say they will be. At the moment, Pain is sending out ROOTS members, aided by maybe one or two Akatsuki members, to neighboring cities to begin the takeover process. Oh, and any involvement on the part of Anbu for at least three weeks would almost definitely be unsuccessful and result in the deaths of everyone involved."

_Acadia is gone, Acadia is gone_

Tsunade stared. Joseph smiled sweetly.

_Forget Itachi, _I _should be the ambassador, _she thought.

_Acadia is gone._

* * *

><p><strong>The End.<strong>

**Well, there you go, guys. That's the story.**

**I'd really like to thank everyone for supporting me in the very, very, VERY long road it has taken to write this much, especially considering the tone that initially attracted a lot of readers was more or less abandoned as I matured and got, well, actually _good_ at writing. Thank you so much for supporting Mari, Joseph, and Kai as I put them through basically every terrible thing I could come up with, and thank you for reading all the way to the very last chapter wait turns out I'm just kidding there's more to the story.**

**It turns out, there will be a Part Two to this chapter (Maybe because I want to see how much more pain and suffering I can possibly squeeze into another five thousand words. Maybe because I'm planning on giving them all a happy ending, or at least a poetically just and optimistically resonant one. Or **maybe just because I still need to fit in the other half of that song. **Who can ever really tell with me). However, technically Part Two of this chapter is the epilogue, which means that the story really is ending. Still, though, one more chapter!**

**But really, everything I wrote up there is still true, even though I wrote it for the sheer purpose of deceiving and manipulating you. I _am _thankful that you've supported me and stuff. I just want to wait until the actual for _real _last chapter to type word upon fancy word of praise and thank-yous and responses to all the reviewers who've been particularly helpful or enthusiastic.**

**Anyways. I guess I'll see you guys in the last chapter.**

**-amy out**


	60. A Masterpiece, Part II

**Lyrics in this chapter are from **Masterpiece Theatre III by Marianas Trench**.**

* * *

><p>I write my signature with a flourish on the final sheet of the contract before me on the desk, my knee bouncing in anticipation as it's crossed over the other. The obnoxious rhinestones up the sides of my boots glitter, reflecting into the shadows under my new agent's desk. I slide the paper back toward him, thinking disparagingly about whether I'm really going to have to wear this tacky over-priced "punk" paraphernalia all the time from now on.<p>

"And there you have it," he replies, pleased. "Welcome to the company! We're your new family."

I smile, trying to reign in my condescension. "Can't wait."

_All my indecision,_

_All of my excess_

I stand up with a hard-earned balance on these _damn _heels, offering him my hand. We shake, sealing the deal.

My first record label. I'll be on a stage in front of a couple thousand underground music enthusiasts in a week.

I sigh to myself as I walk out of the building. Three years of singing lessons, performing in coffee shops and parks and anywhere I can get my hands on a microphone, three years of watching Joseph and Kakuzu scheme and argue over where the best opportunities would be found...three years, and now the hard part starts.

* * *

><p><em>Don't you ever tell me I'm not lovin' you best.<em>

It's been so long since I devoted much time to writing pretty words. I kind of regret that now.

I chew on the eraser of my pencil, thinking hard. The obligatory four meaningless but upbeat songs for my first album have already been written, filled to bursting with rapid beats and tiny little messages hidden throughout: _Don't slow down, we're moving on, partying until the breaking red dawn. _Apparently just by having little phrases like that running through kids' heads, along with a couple more serious songs with an underlying political agenda, I'll be getting the message into teenagers' heads. Want to resist authority? Challenge your parents? Come on, sing about the dawning of the Akatsuki! It'll be fun!

Ugh. The least I can do is have a few parts of one song with my own message.

I scribble about pain and rage and resistance, furiously marking out words and rewriting others, music making the words dance in my head.

* * *

><p><em>And I just need a minute,<em>

_I just need a breath_

"Be back in three hours, or you don't get paid," I warn the young girls.

They nod fervently, barely looking up from the hefty (to them) sum of cash I've placed in their hands. Five hundred dollars to go have some innocent fun, I said, and a thousand more when they return. The only catch? They have to trade us clothes for the afternoon.

They probably think it's an eccentric up-and-coming celebrity thing. It's actually a we-know-those-clothes-are-bugged thing. However, Joseph and I decided not to tell them that.

They exit the restroom together, chattering away excitedly.

"Don't lose that number!" I call to them, urgently.

"We won't!"

I growl to myself in frustration. Lives are on the line here. I don't like having to depend on a couple teenagers.

"Oh, Mari, would you _relax?" _Joseph asks, leaning against a sink as she applies makeup (for no apparent reason, since absolutely nothing has smudged since the _last _time she did). "You remember being sixteen. They want that thousand too much to run off."

"I don't like it," I insist grouchily. "We could _die, _you know."

"Yeah, and we could also die if any number of things go wrong," she says, shrugging. "Best not to worry about it, huh?"

I scowl. "Yeah, I guess." It is a little dumb not to anticipate risks, taking into account our current goals. Defying and undermining a swiftly emerging "new world order" (as Pain puts it) is ballsy, to say the least.

We wait an acceptable amount of time before exiting the restroom, heading in the opposite direction of the teenagers. Joseph is tapping away on her iPhone all the time, seemingly lost in a world of text messages and Twitter updates, while in actuality I know she is watching the progress of red dots indicating the locations of our fellow gang members on an app she cobbled together from whatever program allows the Akatsuki's tracking devices to work. I don't understand it and I don't pretend to; all I need to know is Joseph is super-smart and on top of it, and she insists that it's a trustworthy system, at least for now.

For the millionth time, I think how thankful I am that she went to college alongside me, skipping from major to major every semester while I was learning all sorts of garbage at that crunchy-granola musical arts school.

"So, any news from Anbu?" I ask, not making eye contact. Instinctively I go through the motions Itachi taught me for recon and determining if I'm under surveillance; memorizing faces; staring long enough to absorb details, but not too long to be noticed; taking in a whole crowd at once, focusing only on a few outliers. Itachi likes to remind me that Akatsuki training never stops, and I can't help but agree.

"They're preoccupied fighting Sasori in the east," Joseph responds. "Apparently his sphere of influence is a handful of cities now."

I let out a low whistle. Damn him. "Typical."

"Yeah." She laughs darkly. "I have a feeling that pink-haired girl -what was her name?"

"Sakura? I suggest, trying to reign in my excitement. I haven't heard from her in so long.

"Yeah, her- Tsunade says Sakura's an expert in detecting the poisons and compounds Sasori's so fond of. He can't even smuggle his new drugs through those creepy dolls anymore. I'll bet you anything Sasori's furious."

I laugh nervously. "Hooray for Sakura, right?" Inwardly I urge Sakura to _be careful, dammit. _An angry Sasori is not a Sasori you want to deal with.

"Yeah, maybe. Anyways, she has a few of her friends for backup, but she's supposedly the brains of the operation, and from what I hear, it's going well. That's the good news. Apparently, that little brother of Itachi's is wanting to join up."

I blink. "With Anbu? He kind of burned that bridge."

"No, with _us." _

"_What?" _

Joseph sighs. "I mean, tons do nowadays, but he actually knows ninja arts. I saw it for myself."

I grit my teeth. _Shit. _"Is he still trying to off Itachi?"

She shrugs. "It'd be kind of hard, now, wouldn't it? High-ranking diplomat like him?"

I roll my eyes. Unlike mine and Deidara's pseudo-fame, relevant only in hipster circles and online chat rooms, 'Uchiha' is swiftly becoming a household name. Of course, it's not hard to believe. Between Itachi's quiet confidence, intelligence, and mysterious knack for getting anyone in a room to agree with him (especially if he can look them straight in the eyes), he's a born politician. "It'd be hard anyways. I'm telling you, the only way Itachi will be killed is if he _wants _to."

Joseph snorts. "You got me there. But anyways. I've been keeping an eye on Hidan and Kakuzu, when they're not beating up your competition. They can't seem to figure out why no one will join up." She laughs darkly. I wonder what she's doing to sabotage them, but I don't ask. It really is better, the less we know about what the others are doing.

"Anything you need my help with?" I ask as we choose a random store to enter for coffee or smoothies or what-the-hell-ever they happen to sell.

"Nope," she says, sounding satisfied. "Really, I'm under less suspicion than you ever were."

"Yeah, well, I _did _try and shoot Pain."

She laughs a little. "Anyways, you have it all under control here, don't you?"

I make a face. "Yeah." I'm supposed to be using 'any and all methods necessary' to get my hands on money, fame, and power, and as far as anyone from Akatsuki would be able to tell, that's exactly what I've been doing. After all, without Itachi or Kisame or any of the older gang members to watch me at all times, I'm left to my own devices, and all my endeavors are my own. So maybe when I throw my name in for a competition where the winner gets consideration for a deal, a couple of the other competitors mysteriously decide not to show up for round two. Maybe contracts and funds go missing, maybe someone wakes up and their home has been trashed.

Maybe there are rumors about me floating around, rumors that I'm not as wholesome and trustworthy as I appear...that I might even be dangerous. But who could really tell for sure? After all, Akatsuki don't get caught.

_It's very hard to drink to my continued success._

"I told you I finally got a record deal, right?"

"Sweet!"

"Yeah, they're pretty small, but supposedly the album will come out in a couple of months," I say, listlessly. "So that's good."

"And what about..." Joseph trails off pointedly.

"It's going alright," I say. "I mean, I'm not so great at the whole 'making-allies' thing, but I've got a couple people I think I'll be able to count on."

Joseph shakes her head. "It's better than nothing."

_Slow down, it's better in the worst way_

* * *

><p><em>It's getting better in the worst way<em>

I bow to the crowd, their roaring filling my ears as the lights dim. Show's over, everyone is yelling and shouting with leftover joy from the music we made, and with growing anger that it's over. They want to stay here, suspended in the music, away from their lives and their daily pain, just as much as I do.

With the lights off, my smile fades. I have no one to wear it for. I exit the stage through the shadows, shoulders hunched and eyes dim.

"Great performance, honey, just flawless-" my agent yammers at me.

"Yeah, thanks," I mutter, hoping to shake him off. I have things I need to do, and a short time to do them in.

"Now, if you'll just take another look at this weight loss program-"

"Caleb!" I snap. "I'm _not _overweight! And I _don't care _if these trashy magazines think I need to be starving to fuckin' death-"

"It's hurting your ratings-"

"Kiss my ass!" I snap angrily, entering my trailer and slamming the door behind me. A lot of people who work for me are reliable for help with Anbu work. Caleb, my agent, is not one of them; as far as he knows, I am nothing but a nineteen-year-old diva punk pop star who won't follow his diet regimen. That wouldn't even be his concern, except he's also acting manager since Kakuzu can't be counted on to show up and act professional these days. No one can, really.

I hear the rest of the Akatsuki is in the fight of their lives. The official, educated members of Anbu are no longer in hiding but are defying the Akatsuki's reign of terror directly. They're too busy to stop by and check on me, which is both worrying and a relief. Worrying because more and more people will be dying the longer this conflict goes on, and a relief because I've finally moved on to recruiting my own agents, and training takes time without being watched.

_So here's another day, I'll spend away from you_

Speaking of which, I'm kind of proud of some of the new song lyrics. I've got writing songs with double meanings down to a science. From listening, you wouldn't be able to tell if I was saying "resist the current government and obey the Akatsuki", or "be prepared to fight against the Akatsuki". Of course, vague song lyrics would do nothing by themselves, but I have people flooding chatrooms and Youtube pages and other cracks and hidden places in the internet with "conspiracy theories" that are actually fact, telling as many details as I dare about the corruption the Akatsuki is swiftly spreading in the media, in politics, and in the streets. I can't use the word "Akatsuki" exactly, but there are smart people out there. If nothing else, they'll keep questioning things, and that's going to be one of the most important ways to fight against Pain's new world order.

_Another night I'm on another broken avenue_

I flick on the flat screened TV, watching idly as I get out of my performance clothes and into some sweatpants. It's turned by default onto a celebrity news network that functions basically like an onscreen People! magazine, so I get an eyeful of myself performing from the point of view of the audience.

Yep. That sure is me there. Holding a microphone and strutting around, my lips moving to follow the lyrics of whatever song the footage is of, while the reporter's voice rings out over my muted voice, talking about what an unexpected success I've become, and whether my whole 'bad-girl' image is going to come back to haunt me if I ever end up getting into trouble. (Ah ha. Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha. The irony nearly ends me.)

"Well, 'bad girl' or not," says the other female reporter, beginning to wrap up their segment on me, "the fans seem to love her."

They cut back into a ten-second shot of me actually singing. I smile at the song they chose: "_Natalia, it's crazy, but I guess it's nothing new; Natalia, forgive me, I've left it up to you_." Then it's right into the upbeat, angry-sounding chorus that sounds deep but actually means nothing. They show the crowd screaming the words along with me so loud it nearly drowns me out.

For once, I feel a genuine smile, and I let it show. It is nice to lose myself in the music, and know that everyone else is, too.

* * *

><p><em>Trading in who I've been for shiny celebrity skin<em>

"These parties are the genuine shittiest I've ever been to, man," I complain as I down my fifth glass of shitty sparkly champagne.

"You're telling me, un," Deidara agrees. He looks every bit as uncomfortable and out of place in an expensive black tux as I do in a skimpy, expensive red dress. I can tell by the way he leans forward in his seat, glaring, tilting the left side of his face downwards in the way he used to do when he had bangs to hide behind, that he wishes he were somewhere else, blowing things up. "Really thought being famous would be more exciting."

I scoff. "Freshman year was more badass than these people."

He grunts his agreement.

Call us ungrateful if you want, but once you actually achieve fame, there's not much to _do. _People expect you do care about things like what that pop star wore or said about you, whether this one has a crush on you or not, how many fans you have. I can never quite summon the fuck I'm supposed to be giving in time, and the cameras notice it, which only spawns _more _bullshit, and it's just a cycle.

Besides, it's like being under a giant fishbowl; do anything, say anything, it's like a giant goddamn clusterfuck every single time. I don't know how I'd deal with it if it weren't for...no. No thinking about Akatsuki things right now when I'm being Maria Star.

Yes, you read right: that's my stage name. I hate it, but 'Mari Sui' apparently is too simple. It's kind of hard to get excited about being famous if the name they're chanting isn't really yours.

I mean, it's also kind of hard to get excited about being famous if you know that you're only famous as a part of the kind of conspiracy that makes people lock themselves in their basements with tin foil on their heads...but didn't I just say I wasn't thinking about Akatsuki things right now?

"Deii-daaaa-kuuuun!"

"Oh fuck, here we go," I mutter.

Deidara smirks.

Sylvia wastes no time jumping into Deidara's lap, for all the cameras to see. Some people hoot. I roll my eyes.

"Did you miss me?" she asks, sending her voice sailing several octaves above normal. This girl is really starting to put a strain on my Slap-A-Bitch-O-Meter.

"'Course," Deidara answers, grinning. He insists that he hates having to play along with his bimbo girlfriends for the cameras, but I say he likes the attention. He wouldn't be able to fake being an actor if he didn't, would he?

Sylvia makes a production of looking at me before she kisses him. I grin cockily. "Get it, girl!"

She laughs. I laugh. The camera people laugh.

I hate them all.

I take out the expensive smart phone I got for free (I'm supposed to be flaunting it for marketing purposes anyways) and start screwing around on it until Darling Syl goes away. It's not like I can really discuss anything with Deidara while she's around, and the longer I interact with them the harder it is to reign in my irritation. I know I'm being bratty. For one thing, me and Deidara broke up years ago (we both claim we dumped the other, but honestly it was pretty much mutual); for another thing, when the press isn't involved, Sylvia isn't so bad. She's just playing along, like the rest of us.

Doesn't mean I have to like her, though.

After a few minutes, she finally leaves, taking the attention of the cameras away from us as she does.

I sigh dramatically, putting up my phone. "_Gee, _that is just _so _fun. Can we just hang out with your girlfriends all the time from now on?"

Years ago, Deidara would've laughed. Now he just scowls, muttering about Pain and Akatsuki and publicity. I don't press him further.

As frustrated as I may be with the life expected of a multimillionaire punk-pop star, I know it's a thousand times worse for Deidara. Here you have a guy who revels in destruction, a self-proclaimed nihilist who lives for the moment, particularly the moments where his surroundings are going up in flames, and he isn't able to _actually _blow anything up. Just like me, he has to fit the mold of "arrogant but lovable playboy celebrity", acting warm and friendly and sociable while stewing with the knowledge that the rest of the Akatsuki -the _real _Akatsuki, as we refer to them bitterly when we're alone- are fighting.

At least I get the satisfaction of knowing Pain doesn't have a complete monopoly over my actions. Oh, no. There are _so _many interesting things I get up to, out of the sight of cameras and the Akatsuki. That's where my real work in life ends and begins.

I smile a little to myself at the progress of our fledgling resistance.

_Kid, I like to push it and push it until my luck is over_

* * *

><p><em>I wonder what you're doing,<em>

_I wonder if you doubt it._

Guess it's inevitable; I am yet again a member of a fringe group conspiring against the established government. Just as dangerous, just as difficult...but now, I'm in it by choice. I don't have to lay awake at night, hating myself for doing terrible, violent things for terrible, cowardly reasons.

And this time, I'm less of a 'member' than a 'leader'

I grin behind my mask. (Yeah, I know, lame -but if word got out to my crew, lower-level Anbu, that their mob boss was a multimillionaire pop star, the news would be out in ten seconds flat. Believe me. I know these people.) "Come on, people," I say gruffly, in what Joseph calls my 'Boss voice', much to my chargin. "I'm a busy woman, I don't have all night. Team seven, how'd the mission go?"

Tohru, the smartassed (but also just smart) self-appointed leader of team seven, rolls his eyes for what has to be the ninetieth time. "Do we really have to call them 'missions', that's so stupid-"

"You'll call them whatever the hell I say to calm them," I snap. "You really wanna fight me on this, man?"

Tohru scowls, but backs off. "Fine. The...mission went perfectly. Target's dead, research destroyed."  
>"Thoroughly," his teammate -the blonde-haired, nefarious Yamanaka girl says, snickering. (She won't tell us her first name. I told everyone else to leave her alone about it.) The other two Team Seven kids laugh alongside her.<p>

I narrow my eyes at them, coldy. "That reminds me. Was it necessary to blow up the entire building? Really? People could have died, Yamanaka."

She looks back defiantly. "It got the job done, Boss."

I roll my eyes. "Well, yeah, I know that. But remember the rule: if I find out a civilian dies who didn't have to, you will be the one answering for it." They know I mean it, too. If it's an accident, I'll have them walk up to a police station and confess. If it wasn't an accident (or if they're dumb enough to refuse my original offer of dealing with the justice system), I'll kill them.

I've only had to do that once. These kids are smart enough to tell new members that I'm not bluffing, now.

"No civilians died!" Yamanaka says, voice growing loudly in her nervousness. "I made sure the building was cleared!"

I grunt. "I believe you." I pause. "You left the calling card, didn't you?"

She rolls her eyes, but I can tell she's trying not to smile. "Yeah. They know the Light did it."

"Awesome." I heave a deep sigh of relief. "Anyways. You guys get a week off; your pay will be in your mailbox when you get home." (They think it's really mysterious how I do that, but it's not actually that cool. Of course I know where they all live and if they've done their job. Pain's not the only one who can use tracking devices.)

They all grin, saying lowly "Thanks" and "Thank you", out of time with each other.

I wave their niceties off. "Go home, and keep watching each other's backs. Team eleven, you're up."

Things go this way for a few more minutes. No civilian casualties, no failed missions, no blown covers. There's one person missing who shouldn't be, but her teammates assure me that she's in the hospital for a broken elbow. (Apparently she broke it on a mission, but grinned and bore the pain until the next day, when she pretended to fall during cheerleading practice and go to the hospital that way. I'm still a little impressed; I'm thinking of promoting her, when she heals...) I don't have any new missions to assign tonight, but I do have physical training to micromanage, because if I don't, they won't do it. Juvenille delinquints don't always have the best work ethic, believe it or not.

Still, it takes all of fifteen minutes to arrange meetings between them and put a handful of older Light members in charge of making sure everyone works out to my satisfaction, and after that I begin releasing them to wherever their parents or gaurdians or older siblings think they are. They trickle out, one by one, bragging about missions or gossipping about school, the few of them who know each other outside of the Light, that is. They're dangerous kids, but they're still just that, kids. Sure, they can learn illegal ninja arts and make homemade bombs and how to hack into a police station's computer system (Joseph stops by every now and again), and just about anything else the Akatsuki's taught me, but they still can't be missing from their normal, daily lives for more than an hour before people start getting suspicious.

That's where Pain went wrong, I think to myself idly as another group leaves. He wanted a handful of specialized people, who he could watch constantly...this way, they're less dangerous but more of them, thirty-eight if they can recruit that kid who won state in chess...

Being a grown-ass woman, I can leave whenever I please, and I do. I slip away while the last team is preoccuppied, talking to one another. I know they probably find the whole 'silent vanishing into the shadows' things presumptuous and annoying, but what can I say. Itachi rubbed off on me.

I jump onto my motorcycle (Heh) and drive off into the backstreets of the city. I need to be home before my people show up to get me all pretty for tonight's show.

_I wonder how we used to ever go so long without it._

* * *

><p><em>All the work to impress, charming girls out of<em> their dresses,<em>_

I rub my eyes, tired as all hell from tonight's show. I take a deep breath, leaning against the front door, before grabbing the top of my dress and forcing it down, leaving me only in my underwear -but who cares? There's no one in this giant, oversized, empty house to see me. The shoes go off next, then the hairpins and other stupidity, all flung into a pile unceremoniously in my front hallway.

_(I thought you wanted me)_

I groan loudly, my voice echoing through my unnecessarily, indulgently large house. "This is _bullshit_!" I yell at no one.

"How so?"

Fuck.

_"Itachi_?" I ask, incredulously, grabbing a coat off the rack. God dammit. God dammit. God _dammit. _

"Hn." He's in the living room, out of my line of sight.

"Stay in there!" I shout. "I, uh..."

"I understand." He sounds vaguely amused. I scowl and turn in the other direction, toward the other set of stairs, to go and find some pants (since it's more trouble than it's worth to put that _fucking _dress back on.

I get dressed and run back the stairs in record time, feeling more like a kid than the adult with a net worth of several million that I am. "So, uh," I say, huffing and puffing a bit dramatically, so it sounds like I'm out of shape (which as far as he knows, I should be). "Hey, ambassador. Long time no see."

He -get this- he actually _smiles _a little from his spot on my armchair, marking his place in his book (_my _book, actually, that totally belongs to me) and setting it down. "I could say the same to you." He's not wearing the casual clothes or the Akatsuki cloak he always wore, back in the day. Instead he's wearing a very official-looking black suit and tie. He really does look like a distinguished ambassador.

I grin at him as I walk a little closer, then awkwardly collapse on the couch opposite him. Maybe some people would hug or at least shake hands after seeing someone they were close to after so long, but for obvious reasons, that's not the case for us. "Um. So. What are you doing in my house, man?"

He looks at me with a straight face. "Am I prohibited from simply stopping by to greet you?"

I stare at him.

"That was a joke," he clarifies after a moment.

"Oh." I make a face, looking at him quizzically. "I don't think joking is really your thing, Itachi."

"Hn. Be that as it may, this is not a social visit."

"No shit. What's up?" I swallow, anticipation starting to climb. "I'm not being called in for combat, am I?"

"Of course not," Itachi scoffs. I'm ashamed of how disappointed I feel. "Risking your identity being revealed at this point would be beyond foolish. The matter at hand pertains to your current mission."

"Oh." I bite my tongue. "More brainwashing tips?"

Itachi gives me a cold look. "Yes." _This is your mission, it's not any worse than the other things you've done. There's too much blood on your hands to get squeamish now, isn't there?_

I scowl. "Let's hear them." _I don't have to agree; what I did then is wrong and this is wrong, too._

Itachi shakes his head, reaching into his briefcase. "The methods we've gathered are far too complicated and extensive to list," he says, handing me a file.

I make a face. It's a _thick _file. "I have to read _all _of this?" I whine, flipping through the first few pages.

Itachi gives me a look. I close the file and smile nervously. "No problem! Heh heh."

"...Good."

"Yeah. Uh, that's all?"

"No."

"Oh."

"You may have noticed, we're still having some problems with your old friends from school," Itachi says tonelessly, his eyes never leaving my face.

I narrow my eyes and twist my lips in a believable look of irritation. "Seriously? I'd've thought you'd be done with them by now."

"One would think. However, not only are they still alive, they are thriving. We believe they've even spread their influence to several fringe groups; Sunakyodai, for instance, has been giving Sasori quite a bit of trouble."

I bite my lip. Sunakyodai, Suna for short, is the name of the gang led by Sakura, Gaara, and his siblings, the only real purpose of which being to undermine the Akatsuki and keep the prosperous desert cities in the east out of Sasori's, and by extension Pain's, hands. "I've heard a bit about that, but there's nothing I could do."

"But what about suspicious happenings closer to home?" He asks this so nonchalantly, and so smoothly, that it's like I don't even process how threatening the words are; my body reacts before my brain does, making my heart thump faster, my mouth going dry.

"What do you mean?" I ask evenly.

"It seems there's been a group of young people -probably led by Anbu- sabotaging the Akatsuki's movements in the area. Their movements are too expertly precise to be the actions of a few wayward youths." I make myself look him in the eye, my face a mask of unconcern, as it feels as though he's x-raying me.

"Do you want me to...do something?" I ask, dubiously. "What do we know about them?"

Itachi stares at me. "Precious little," he admits. "As I said, they seem to have been expertly trained." Damn right they were. "We do have one clue, although it's a deliberate one. Every place they have attacked, they leave a small card with a sun design, and the kanji for 'light'."

I raise an eyebrow. "That's weird."

"Hn." Itachi finally looks away from me. "But, no. We are not advising you to get involved. It would be too risky."

"Hey!" I protest, because I know he's expecting me to. "I _am _still an Akatsuki member. I haven't gotten _totally _soft, man."

Itachi almost smiles. "Be that as it may, the risk of you getting caught is far too great. I just felt you should be informed."

"Tch. Well, it's better than being an _un_informed propaganda tool."

Itachi rolls his eyes at my last comment, but doesn't challenge it. "I should be going."

I nod. "See you in another three years or so?"

He makes an impassive noise as he walks toward the front door. I watch as he turns the handle, beginning to leave- but then he stops, as if remembering something, and turns back to look at me.

I give him a questioning look.

"You should keep in mind," Itachi says slowly, looking past the staircase, away from me, door still ajar. "That allies often come from unexpected places." He turns then, looking me in the eye, and I'm positive I see an element of amusement in his face. "Are you positive there's nothing you'd like to tell me?"

My heart speeds up once again. "What are you talking about?"

He stares at me. I wish I knew what he was thinking.

"Very well." He opens the door the rest of the way, walking out into the front yard. I hear a car start up, and drive away.

It turns out to be the last time I speak to my old mentor.

_ and smiling pretty and pretty_

* * *

><p><em>(I thought you wanted me)<em>

"Mari!"

"Ugh," I grunt as Kai, now a plucky twelve-year-old, tackle-hugs me, nearly knocking the wind right out of me. "Geez, kid. You're getting big."

Mom stands behind us, uncertainly. I know I should be acting happy to see her, too, but who cares. This is the kid I grew up with and this is the kid I've been desperate to see. Mom can wait ten minutes.

"No one believes me that you're my sister," he says, laughing. "They keep saying I would be rich."

I frown. "Aren't you?" I send Mom plenty of money to buy him just about whatever he wants, and it looks like she mostly has. Their apartment is damn nice, and filled with nice, expensive things; the pictures they've sent me show Kai in a snooty-looking school uniform, laughing with his friends while a big, brick building (more like a castle) behind them. I figured he was in private school.

Kai shrugs. "I don't really care. I just thought it was funny."

"Yeah, I guess it is a little," I concede. "How's school going?"

"The kids aren't so bad; some of them are snotty, but some aren't. I miss Konahamaru."

"I'll bet," I mutter darkly. Those kids did nothing but get into trouble together. "You're making good grades?"

"Yep!" he says happily, eyes shining. "I'm gonna be a policeman!"

I blink. "You want to be a cop?"

"Uh-huh." He looks up at me with a fiery determination. "I want to help make sure it's safe. Out there."

I nod, thinking how easy it is to forget that he's not just a happy, normal twelve-year-old like he sometimes seems. He knows all about the true value of safety. "You do that, then."

Mom clears her throat, giving me a significant look. "Mari?"

I give her a somewhat irritated look, but I reign in my derision. After all, this woman has successfully beat a handful of addictions well enough to give Kai a good, happy life (with a steady income from her rich long-lost daughter, granted, but still). She does deserve my time.

That's why, after a few more minutes of Kai's excited chattering and reminiscing, I follow her into the kitchen, out of earshot from my little brother. We sit down at the table, and for a few minutes, she just stares at me like she can't possibly see enough. I stare back uncomfortably.

Finally she gets up, walking around the table toward me and holding her arms out for a hug.

I have to force the aching, bitter and betrayed young girl within me to quiet down before I can accept her embrace.

_I'm right beside you_

* * *

><p><em>(what you want what you need)<em>

I stare down the lone figure before me, straight-backed and unafraid despite having been kidnapped and dragged to an isolated place to meet a masked stranger in the dead of night. (**Déjà** **vu**, anyone?) It took me so, so long to find her, even with that song with her namesake being at the top of the charts for two months. You'd think that would make her seek me out, right? Nope. If anything, she just covered her tracks better.

_(I thought you wanted me)_

"You're a hard girl to find," I tell her gruffly from behind my mask.

"I know," replied Natalia Domen, a short and skinny girl of about sixteen. She's pale, and brown-haired, with shallow-looking blue eyes, and while she looks quite a bit different than my few seconds of hazy memories would lead me to believe, her voce and demeanor has that same uncanny, almost unnatural calm in the face of danger that makes me all the more positive it's her.

Not that there was much of a chance of my making a mistake anyways. "You've been busy the past few years, huh?" I ask, voicing my thoughts. "It takes a special kind of kid to rediscover the old ninja arts all on her own. And without being arrested, even."

She clears her throat, looking around with curiosity. "Are you with law enforcement, then?" she asks me, her voice perfectly steady. "Or are you wanting lessons?"

I have to laugh at that. She gives me a strange look. I decide it'd be more time than it's worth to explain everything, and I may as well get to the chase.

"Have you ever heard of a gang called Akira?" I ask, watching her face closely.

She nods, slowly. "Yes. They're hard to find, too."

"You've tried?"

"I've heard."

"Ah." She's a liar -every couple of months, one of the Akira kids reports being approached by some crazy girl trying to shove one of our calling cards in their face and demanding answers, but since she doesn't attack them, they can't do anything but run away. I understand it's disconcerting.

"Why? Do you work for them?" she asks, interested.

"Better," I say, deciding it's time to take a leap of faith. I reach up and pull my mask down, baring my face. "I founded them."

_I'll make this perfect again. _

She looks at me closely. "Wait a second...you're...?"

I sigh. "Shit, girl," I say, tiredly. "I just told you I run the gang you've been trying to enter for more than a year now, and you're worried about if you've seen me on TV before?"

"Yes," she responds with a perfect deadpan.

I roll my eyes. "Fine. Yeah, my alter ego is Maria Star, punk pop diva, Akatsuki propaganda pusher."

She nods, slowly. "I had been wondering-"

"I'm sure you have," I cut her off. "Honestly, you might now more about some of this shit than I do. My old gang buddies hardly keep me in the loop where they can help it. Still, though, there's a lot that you can't possibly have guessed, so why don't you let me explain it before you start asking questions, okay?"

She gives me an odd look, but nods.

_(what you want what you need)_

I start talking. I don't know why, but I don't start from where Pain killed Danzo, which is the information she needs to know the most. I start several months before that, the day I first met an Akatsuki member, the weeks after that. I told her all about my enrollment in a private school and my interactions with some arrogant gangsters and schoolyard bullies that started the chain of events leading me to be inducted into my gang.

_(I thought you wanted me)_

I finish by explaining the power struggles now in play between the Akatsuki and Anbu, how nearly everyone from street gangs to politicians to modern artists are effected, at some level, by these two adversaries, gambling for control of the world. I watch her as I explain, knowing it's a fantastic story to take in. Her eyes get wide with wonder, her eyebrows twitch with disbelief at times, but she doesn't try to interrupt me. I appreciate that, since I haven't talked about all of this so openly since seeing Joseph started to become unsafe, and I wonder if I'd be able to start again if I stopped.

"So," she says at the end. I can practically hear the gears in her head churning. "The Light, or Akira, or whatever...they're actually Anbu? Not Akatsuki?"

"They have Akatsuki training through me," I clarify. "And their moral compass probably leans more toward the Akatsuki's where the 'greater good' is concerned. But, yes, they work for Anbu objectives."

"I get it." She takes a deep breath, then looks at me with her eyes full of steel. "So. You're the girl who saved me."

I nod.

"I never got to thank you."

I smile humorlessly. "Oh, you'll thank me."

She frowns. "What do you mean?"

I make a face. "Sorry to do this to you, kid, but I've got to pull the 'you owe me' card on ya. I'm not sure where you stand on mercenary work, but I wasn't a big fan of the idea myself, and now look at me!" I laugh, short and barklike.

"Mari, what are you talking about?" Natalia asks, once again with a deadpan that could give old Itachi a run for his money.

"Sorry. I tend to get a head of myself." I walk a little closer to Natalia, putting a hand on her shoulder in what I hope is a comforting gesture. "I need you to take over Akira for me."

She stares, just like I expected her to. "Why?" she asks simply, after a few moments.

"Tons of reasons," I say, holding out fingers to count them out. "First, you're smart, levelheaded, already know ninja arts. You're a capable young person, and you seem trustworthy. Second, I have to get _somebody _competent to watch over these kids, make sure they keep working how they're supposed to. Who else could take over? Naruto? Sakura? Ino? No way. They're all too...well, nevermind," I correct myself hastily. "You don't know who those people are...Anyways, the main reason is, I've got a feeling I'm not going to be around forever."

I can't quite pin down exactly what it was that made me think I needed to start making contingency plans. Maybe it's hearing the news that Sasori was killed by Sunakyodai; the punch in the gut that was a reminder of how absolute and serious things are these days. Maybe it was remembering the way my little brother had looked up at me when I finally showed up, talking about keeping the streets safe like the world was still as simple as that. Maybe I just had a nightmare. Who knows. Whatever the reason, I've still got the cloud of the Akatsuki over my head, and I can't ignore it any longer. I'm not about to have everything I've worked for my entire adult life be destroyed because of my own, inevitable, careless mistake.

_If I burn out and slip away, _

"I understand." Natalia straightens up, standing even taller. "I am more than happy to take over Akira should something happen to you...although, I'm not sure how qualified I am."

I smile, genuinely. "You're qualified, believe me. Hell, you're years beyond where I was at your age...but anyways. You'll have to join Akira as an entry-rank member first, you know, make it look like you've worked your way up, but we'll know the truth..."

_(what you want what you need)_

* * *

><p><em>(I thought you wanted me)<em>

"Sakura!"

Sakura turns toward the sound of me calling her name. She smiles.

"Mari."

I cross the remaining distance in the cramped, little abandoned apartment, stepping around broken glass, and we shake hands. I look at her as closely as I can, trying to soak in all the details. I can't decide if the years have been good to her or not. She looks, obviously, several years older than she was when we met. She's taller, her pink hair has grown to her shoulders, and there's a kind of impression of competence you get from her nice suit and the way she stands. On the other hand, her smile is fake, and her vibrant jade eyes hold a tangible coldness. This is not the Sakura I knew in high school, responsible but light-hearted, the girl who would flinch away from my choking a man until he went unconscious. This girl has seen and done things the other girl would only have dreamed of. Her strength isn't hidden anymore; it's on display.

_You're beautiful, you are_

I remember that she killed Sasori, mid-shake. Although I know it had to happen, and I know Sasori was my enemy, my body doesn't seem to agree, and my hand tightens its hold on Sakura's for a split second. I get ahold of myself and let go, but I know she notices.

"Long time, no see," I say by way of greeting.

"Speak for yourself," she answers. "We've all seen plenty of you."

I scowl. "Of course you have." As I so often do these days, I get the urge, reminiscent of my teenage years, to kick a gaping hole in a wall in frustration. I clear my throat and cross my arms, instead. "I'm sorry about all of the propaganda, by the way. I try and temper it out some, but I can't change the entire agenda..."

"We understand," Sakura assures me, waving her hand dismissively. "You're doing your best."

I roll my eyes. "'Doing my best' won't save the world."

Sakura smiles again. "It'll have to, though, won't it?"

I laugh joylessly. "I guess. But, look, I can't be gone for too long- what did Tsunade want me to do?"

Sakura gives me a long, searching look. "Sasori didn't go down easily."

_He wouldn't have, though, would he? _I think, feeling an unwelcome surge of fierce pride in my old gang member. I shove it away with a feeling of deep irritation. That whole 'unconditional loyalty' thing is going to be the death of me, just watch.

_I've been here so very long, yeah!_

"Tsunade...needs more precise information on their abilities," Sakura said, still looking me in the eyes for any sign of dissent.

I do not look away. "Done. I'll write a detailed report and get Joseph to get it to you by the end of the month." I wince. "Actually, scratch that, she's out of the country. I'll have Natalia put someone on it."

"Make sure it's someone good."

"_All _my kids are good," I insist.

"I'm sure." Sakura seems to deliberate. "That reminds me. About Akira...who will take over, you know, take care of them, after you..."

"Die?" I suggest, viciously. Sakura gives me a sad look. "Get killed? You can say it, you know. I figured out it was going to happen years ago."

"Well, fine," she replies. "What'll happen to Akira after you die?"

"Natalia ought to keep on helping you guys," I say, thoughtfully. "She's a reasonable girl. I know you people have her doubts about her, because of that constant deadpan thing she does -but like I tell you, she's idealistic. She doesn't want Pain holding the world in his hands any more than we do."

"I guess we'll have to trust your judgment."

"I guess so."

_ A__nd I could slip into you,_

We discuss a few more things, but none of them very important, before I turn to leave (a few minutes before she does, and through a window that will allow me to easily climb through a neighboring fire escape so it looks like we were in separate buildings). I start to head home, acting as though nothing is wrong when I'm still angry and frustrated and bitter at the way life has treated me.

I bite my tongue, telling myself to get over it. I knew I was making the hard decision. I also knew it was the right one. Life isn't always fun and easy, and that's okay. I'm doing something good and worthwhile with my life; it wasn't for the help me and Joseph have given Anbu, and for the help Akira has given them, and the opposition we have inspired countless others to pose against the Akatsuki, it's safe to say that the battle would have been lost already.

More than anything, even though most days I feel hopeless, I know that if I could do things over again, I would do them the same way.

Although truth be told, I wish I had worried a lot less. It never helped anything, did it?

_It's so easy to come back into you_

* * *

><p><em>I'll hide it, could I hide in you awhile.<em>

It's been so long since I've been here, nearly ten years, actually. _It looks so much smaller than I remember it._

It's the house me and Kai lived in, that awful year we moved to Konoha.

_I'm not sick of you yet, is that as good as it gets._

I park the car, get out, and slam the door, walking toward the house. I feel an odd sort of nostalgic foreboding...like all the fury and angst I felt in this house was waiting here for me while I was gone, and now that I'm here it wants to remind me.

I shake the feeling off and knock.

Sure enough, only seconds later, the doorknob turns and the door opens, revealing the impassive face of Akatsuki's leader. Pain stares at me through the threshold, as though even though he invited me here (read, ordered me to show up), I was too lowly to darken his doorstep.

"Hey," I say.

He walks away from the door, leaving me to follow him without speaking a word. I want to ask him why we're here, but I know better.

I'm surprised when he stops in the hallway, reaching up to the ceiling and pulling on the string that reveals the stairs to my old bedroom. Without so much as a glance back at me, he ascends, and I follow.

The room is bare, almost alien without all of my old possessions in it, but at the same time eerily similar. There's still the stain in the carpet where I wore it down from dripping water from the shower; there's still the hole in the wall where I kicked it. At fifteen years old, this was my sanctuary and my prison. I broke down and built myself back up in between these walls.

"Nostalgic?" Pain asks. I jump.

"A little."

"I understand." He stays there, arms crossed, staring at me. Apparently he's content to not actually speak, and I know better than to try and make him talk if he's not ready. Instead I stand there, sweating and growing steadily more nervous.

_I never took you for a trip but sometimes_

"You remember the battles we used to have in this town, right? Against Orochimaru's gang?" Pain says finally.

I nod. "It'd be hard to forget."

"You may not have known this, but we were never really fighting over who 'owned' Konoha. Oh, no." Pain begins walking, slowly, deliberately, toward the window. "We were warring over who would ultimately have control over the remnants of the Tailed Beasts."

"Oh. Oh! Yeah, I've..." I cough. "I've heard of them."

"I see. Well, you won't be surprised to hear that we eventually ended the search," he carries on, voice still one hundred percent plain. "Orochimaru's files, which were recovered before we annihilated the last of their petty organization, showed that the pseudo-jinchuriki were of no use to anyone trying to gain control of the Tailed Beasts. Orochimaru was renowned for his medical science and prowess in the ninja arts and old ways. We had no reason to doubt his information. I gave the order that we focus our energy on other endeavors."

I feel like I'm hearing all of this from very far away. I say something to the affirmative, something noncommittal. My heart is beating very fast.

_I don't know what you want, I could take it_

"Funny thing. A few months ago, an independent researcher found out that not only could the pseudo-jinchurki be used to unlock almost unimaginable amounts of ancient jutsus, but that they could even be used to summon the Tailed Beasts themselves, whole and unadulterated."

Shit. Shit. Shit.

"The power the Akatsuki could have gained...what a shame that the information we received led us astray."

He turns away from the window he's been staring through, facing me. I can't look away from his eyes.

"Come to think of it...you were the one who provided us with that information, weren't you? Mari."

I no longer have any doubt. He knows. After all this time...after all my work..

"I don't know what you're talking about," I say dimly.

"You are a traitor." Pain says, with all the finality in the universe. "You are an enemy to peace."

"You're crazy. You've always been crazy."

"Your family will be hunted down. Your friends will suffer." Pain intones, and as he raises his arms I can feel an uncomfortable pressure on my arms and legs. "Everything you have built will be reduced to ashes by the comrades you betrayed."

"You're wrong!" I shout.

_If you need to take this out on someone._

The next sensation I know is agony. I have been flung through the window by an invisible, formless hand; I am cut and bruised and broken. I know only fear.

I open my eyes as my body begins to go into shock, seeing -as though through a long, dark tunnel- Pain, palms facing toward the ground, slowly floating toward the ground.

"You chose the wrong side."

I begin to rise.

_If this is just a part I portray,_

Pain lifts me higher and higher, taking his time. I bleed and I moan from the pain of my the first impact, but through the fear a strange sort of peace shows itself. It is the peace of finality, of knowing I did my best, of _knowing _Pain is _wrong _and he won't win, of feeling the cool night breeze and seeing the lights twinkling throughout the city that made and broke me, where I ran and fought and made decisions that changed the world, that led to this moment-

The descent begins too quickly, and ends too suddenly.

_I don't know how it got this way _

* * *

><p><strong>And that, ultimately, is where the story has got to end. For real this time.<strong>

**I can't even express how thankful I am that you guys stuck with this and supported me. The tone of this story did what was essentially a complete 180, and I ended up giving you guys way more than you bargained for. Hell, I promised a "cliché high school akatsuki x oc" fanfic, and all of this, well, kind of just happened. Anyways, this is by far the longest writing project I've ever began and finished, and it never would've happened without you guys encouraging me through your reviews, fan art, and messages. You guys deserve high fives. All of you. I mean it.**

**Obviously I couldn't fit in every single detail about how things worked out for Mari, Joseph, Kai, and this version of the Naruto characters through these few snapshots of Mari's life; if you guys have any burning questions, ask away in the reviews, and I'll message you the answers. And, of course, I still recommend listening to any of the songs running through Mari's head as she had these adventures.**

**And now, after sixty chapters, two years, three birthdays, countless late nights spent typing and more than eight hundred reviews from badasses like you guys who supported this story, I'm done. Thank yous and high fives all around.**

**-amy out**


	61. Author's Note

**Okay first of all I'm sorry if anyone went here expecting actual content. I'm advertising an original story I'm working on over at fictionpress, and also responding to some criticism. If you aren't interested in those things, feel free to exit now.  
><strong>

**The original story I'm working on is called The ARC Project. It's a dystopian/cyberpunk story following main character Mari Swanson in a futuristic American Empire, as well as a handful of other characters in other parts of the world. A bunch of action, snarky conversations, moral ambiguity, revolutionary themes, possible romance, and surreal sci-fi technology dipping almost into the realm of urban fantasy. You can find it on fictionpress, where my pen name is Actual Amaya Sakaruta- and yeah, the main character is still Mari! (I'm just too attached to her, lol. Of course, she's lived a different life, so she isn't _exactly _like the Mari of this story.) I'm posting it on Fictionpress in hopes that it'll motivate me to write more consistently and often. It would mean a lot if some of you guys would go check it out. **

**Now, in response to a piece of criticism I got from a guest reviewer: if you dislike my story or characters, that's perfectly fine. (Hell, considering I wrote a significant portion of it when I was a lot younger, _I _don't even like a lot of it!) Really, it's not that I'm just so! angry! that someone didn't like the story; this review in particular reminded me of a pet peeve of mine when it comes to a common criticism of characters: The dreaded "Mary Sue" accusation. **

**"Mary Sue" means something different according to who you ask, but my personal favorite definition (stolen from a youtube video on the subject, link below) is "a character so perfect that they are never challenged by the events of the narrative". "Mary Sue" does _not _mean "a character who you dislike", "an unrealistically strong character", "a character by an inexperienced writer", or "a character who has a love interest you don't think fits". (Or even a character that has _all _of those traits). Also, although any character can be a Sue, a female character is _far _more likely to be accused of it. ****People are so critical of female characters being "too strong", whereas the same standards don't seem to apply to male characters, because people generally _expect _male characters to be super-strong, attractive, and successful. In short, I want to ask you guys to be wary of using the term "mary sue", because it's been misused and overused to the point of becoming irrelevant (in some cases even taking the place of actual constructive criticism), and even more worrying seems to point toward a trend that could possibly indicate a degree of sexism in the online world, despite all of our enlightenment in this modern time.  
><strong>

** youtube dot com slash watch?v=qnokGcoUOmE**


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